I have had such taunting messages, and such repeated avowals of ill
offices, brought me from my brother and sister, if I do no comply with
their wills, (delivered, too, with provoking sauciness by Betty Barnes,)
that I have thought it proper, before I entered upon my intended address
to my uncles, in pursuance of the hint given me in my mother's letter,
to expostulate a little with them. But I have done it in such a manner,
as will give you (if you please to take it as you have done some parts
of my former letters) great advantage over me. In short, you will have
more cause than ever, to declare me far gone in love, if my reasons for
the change of my style in these letters, with regard to Mr. Lovelace, do
not engage your more favourable opinion.--For I have thought proper to
give them their own way: and, since they will have it, that I have a
preferable regard for Mr. Lovelace, I give them cause rather to confirm
their opinion than doubt it.
These are my reasons in brief, for the alteration of my style.
In the first place, they have grounded their principal argument for my
compliance with their will, upon my acknowledgement that my heart is
free; and so, supposing I give up no preferable person, my opposition
has the look of downright obstinacy in their eyes; and they argue,
that at worst, my aversion to Solmes is an aversion that may be easily
surmounted, and ought to be surmounted in duty to my father, and for the
promotion of family views.
Next, although they build upon this argument in order to silence me,
they seem not to believe me, but treat me as disgracefully, as if I
were in love with one of my father's footmen: so that my conditional
willingness to give up Mr. Lovelace has procured me no favour.
In the next place, I cannot but think, that my brother's antipathy
to Mr. Lovelace is far from being well grounded: the man's inordinate
passion for the sex is the crime that is always rung in my ears: and a
very great one it is: But, does my brother recriminate upon him thus
in love to me?--No--his whole behaviour shews me, that that is not
his principal motive, and that he thinks me rather in his way than
otherwise.
It is then the call of justice, as I may say, to speak a little in
favour of a man, who, although provoked by my brother, did not do
him all the mischief he could have done him, and which my brother had
endeavoured to do him. It might not be amiss therefore, I thought, to
alarm them a little with apprehension, that the methods they are taking
with me are the very reverse of those they should take to answer the end
they design by them. And after all, what is the compliment I make Mr.
Lovelace, if I allow it to be thought that I do really prefer him to
such a man as him they terrify me with? Then, my Miss Howe [concluded I]
accuses me of a tameness which subject me to insults from my brother: I
will keep that dear friend in my eye; and for all these considerations,
try what a little of her spirit will do--sit it ever so awkwardly upon
me.
In this way of thinking, I wrote to my brother and sister. This is my
letter to him.
TREATED as I am, and, in a great measure, if not wholly, by your
instigations, Brother, you must permit me to expostulate with you upon
the occasion. It is not my intention to displease you in what I am going
to write: and yet I must deal freely with you: the occasion calls for
it.
And permit me, in the first place, to remind you, that I am your sister;
and not your servant; and that, therefore, the bitter revilings and
passionate language brought me from you, upon an occasion in which you
have no reason to prescribe to me, are neither worthy of my character to
bear, nor of yours to offer.
Put the case, that I were to marry the man you dislike: and that he were
not to make a polite or tender husband, Is that a reason for you to be
an unpolite and disobliging brother?--Why must you, Sir, anticipate my
misfortunes, were such a case to happen?--Let me tell you plainly,
that the man who could treat me as a wife, worse than you of late have
treated me as a sister, must be a barbarous man indeed.
Ask yourself, I pray you, Sir, if you would thus have treated your
sister Bella, had she thought fit to receive the addresses of the man so
much hated by you?--If not, let me caution you, my Brother, not to take
your measures by what you think will be borne, but rather by what ought
to be offered.
How would you take it, if you had a brother, who, in a like case, were
to act by you, as you do by me?--You cannot but remember what a laconic
answer you gave even to my father, who recommended to you Miss Nelly
D'Oily--You did not like her, were your words: and that was thought
sufficient.
You must needs think, that I cannot but know to whom to attribute my
disgraces, when I recollect my father's indulgence to me, permitting
me to decline several offers; and to whom, that a common cause is
endeavoured to be made, in favour of a man whose person and manners
are more exceptional than those of any of the gentlemen I have been
permitted to refuse.
I offer not to compare the two men together: nor is there indeed the
least comparison to be made between them. All the difference to
the one's disadvantage, if I did, is but one point--of the greatest
importance, indeed--But to whom of most importance?--To myself, surely,
were I to encourage his application: of the least to you. Nevertheless,
if you do not, by your strange politics, unite that man and me as joint
sufferers in one cause, you shall find me as much resolved to renounce
him, as I am to refuse the other. I have made an overture to this
purpose: I hope you will not give me reason to confirm my apprehensions,
that it will be owing to you if it be not accepted.
It is a sad thing to have it to say, without being conscious of ever
having given you cause of offence, that I have in you a brother, but not
a friend.
Perhaps you will not condescend to enter into the reasons of your
late and present conduct with a foolish sister. But if politeness, if
civility, be not due to that character, and to my sex, justice is.
Let me take the liberty further to observe, that the principal end of
a young man's education at the university, is, to learn him to reason
justly, and to subdue the violence of his passions. I hope, Brother,
that you will not give room for any body who knows us both, to conclude,
that the toilette has taught the one more of the latter doctrine, than
the university has taught the other. I am truly sorry to have cause
to say, that I have heard it often remarked, that your uncontrouled
passions are not a credit to your liberal education.
I hope, Sir, that you will excuse the freedom I have taken with you: you
have given me too much reason for it, and you have taken much greater
with me, without reason:--so, if you are offended, ought to look at the
cause, and not at the effect:--then examining yourself, that cause will
cease, and there will not be any where a more accomplished gentleman
than my brother.
Sisterly affection, I do assure you, Sir, (unkindly as you have used
me,) and not the pertness which of late you have been so apt to impute
to me, is my motive in this hint. Let me invoke your returning kindness,
my only brother! And give me cause, I beseech you, to call you my
compassionating friend. For I am, and ever will be,
Your affectionate sister, CLARISSA HARLOWE.
***
This is my brother's answer.