Shall I, Clary, said she, shall I tell your father that these
prohibitions are as unnecessary as I hoped they would be? That you know
your duty, and will not offer to controvert his will? What say you, my
love?
O Madam, what can I say to questions so indulgently put? I do indeed
know my duty: no creature in the world is more willing to practise
it: but, pardon me, dearest Madam, if I say, that I must bear these
prohibitions, if I am to pay so dear to have them taken off.
Determined and perverse, my dear mamma called me: and after walking
twice or thrice in anger about the room, she turned to me: Your
heart free, Clarissa! How can you tell me your heart is free? Such
extraordinary prepossessions to a particular person must be owing to
extraordinary prepossessions in another's favour! Tell me, Clary, and
tell me truly--Do you not continue to correspond with Mr. Lovelace?
Dearest Madam, replied I, you know my motives: to prevent mischief, I
answered his letters. The reasons for our apprehensions of this sort are
not over.
I own to you, Clary, (although now I would not have it known,) that
I once thought a little qualifying among such violent spirits was not
amiss. I did not know but all things would come round again by the
mediation of Lord M. and his two sisters: but as they all three think
proper to resent for their nephew; and as their nephew thinks fit to
defy us all; and as terms are offered, on the other hand, that could
not be asked, which will very probably prevent your grandfather's estate
going out of the family, and may be a means to bring still greater into
it; I see not, that the continuance of your correspondence with him
either can or ought to be permitted. I therefore now forbid it to you,
as you value my favour.
Be pleased, Madam, only to advise me how to break it off with safety to
my brother and uncles; and it is all I wish for. Would to heaven, the
man so hated had not the pretence to make of having been too violently
treated, when he meant peace and reconciliation! It would always have
been in my own power to have broke with him. His reputed immoralities
would have given me a just pretence at any time to do so. But, Madam, as
my uncles and my brother will keep no measures; as he has heard what the
view is; and his regard for me from resenting their violent treatment
of him and his family; what can I do? Would you have me, Madam, make him
desperate?