Nobody denies these qualities.
Can he be an honest man who offers terms that will rob all his own
relations of their just expectations?--Can his mind be good--
You, Clary Harlowe, for whose sake he offers so much, are the last
person who should make this observation.
Give me leave to say, Madam, that a person preferring happiness to
fortune, as I do; that want not even what I have, and can give up the
use of that, as an instance of duty--
No more, no more of your merits!--You know you will be a gainer by that
cheerful instance of your duty; not a loser. You know you have but
cast your bread upon the waters--so no more of that!--For it is not
understood as a merit by every body, I assure you; though I think it a
high one; and so did your father and uncles at the time--
At the time, Madam!--How unworthily do my brother and sister, who are
afraid that the favour I was so lately in--
I hear nothing against your brother and sister--What family feuds have I
in prospect, at a time when I hoped to have most comfort from you all!
God bless my brother and sister in all their worthy views! You shall
have no family feuds if I can prevent them. You yourself, Madam, shall
tell me what I shall bear from them, and I will bear it: but let my
actions, not their misrepresentations (as I am sure by the disgraceful
prohibitions I have met with has been the case) speak for me.
Just then, up came my father, with a sternness in his looks that made me
tremble.--He took two or three turns about my chamber, though pained by
his gout; and then said to my mother, who was silent as soon as she saw
him--
My dear, you are long absent.--Dinner is near ready. What you had to
say, lay in a very little compass. Surely, you have nothing to do but
to declare your will, and my will--But perhaps you may be talking of the
preparations--Let us have you soon down--Your daughter in your hand, if
worthy of the name.
And down he went, casting his eye upon me with a look so stern, that
I was unable to say one word to him, or even for a few minutes to my
mother.
Was not this very intimidating, my dear?
My mother, seeing my concern, seemed to pity me. She called me her good
child, and kissed me; and told me that my father should not know I had
made such opposition. He has kindly furnished us with an excuse for
being so long together, said she.--Come, my dear--dinner will be upon
table presently--Shall we go down?--And took my hand.
This made me start: What, Madam, go down to let it be supposed we were
talking of preparations!--O my beloved Mamma, command me not down upon
such a supposition.
You see, child, that to stay longer together, will be owning that you
are debating about an absolute duty; and that will not be borne. Did not
your father himself some days ago tell you, he would be obeyed? I will a
third time leave you. I must say something by way of excuse for you:
and that you desire not to go down to dinner--that your modesty on the
occasion--
O Madam! say not my modesty on such an occasion: for that will be to
give hope--
And design you not to give hope?--Perverse girl!--Rising and flinging
from me; take more time for consideration!--Since it is necessary, take
more time--and when I see you next, let me know what blame I have to
cast upon myself, or to bear from your father, for my indulgence to you.
She made, however, a little stop at the chamber-door; and seemed to
expect that I would have besought her to make the gentlest construction
for me; for, hesitating, she was pleased to say, I suppose you would not
have me make a report--
O Madam, interrupted I, whose favour can I hope for if I lose my
mamma's?
To have desired a favourable report, you know, my dear, would have been
qualifying upon a point that I was too much determined upon, to give
room for any of my friends to think I have the least hesitation about
it. And so my mother went down stairs.
I will deposit thus far; and, as I know you will not think me too minute
in the relation of particulars so very interesting to one you honour
with your love, proceed in the same way. As matters stand, I don't care
to have papers, so freely written, about me.
Pray let Robert call every day, if you can spare him, whether I have any
thing ready or not.
I should be glad you would not send him empty handed. What a generosity
will it be in you, to write as frequently from friendship, as I am
forced to do from misfortune! The letters being taken away will be an
assurance that you have them. As I shall write and deposit as I have
opportunity, the formality of super and sub-scription will be excused.
For I need not say how much I am
Your sincere and ever affectionate, CL. HARLOWE.