OMEGA.
The detention of the railroad-train belated us, and when we (I and my
servant) were left at a small station in Mississippi, night had
fallen. The light from a little fire of pine knots, built on the
ground outside, while illuminating the rough depot and platform, left
the country beyond in deeper darkness. It was bitterly cold. The
driver of the ambulance informed me, we had "quite a piece to ride
yet." A moment later, Dr. Beatty rode up on horseback, welcomed me
pleasantly, waiting to see me safely stowed away in the ambulance. The
ride to camp was dismal. I continued to shiver with cold; my heart
grew heavy as lead, and yearned sadly for a sight of the pleasant
faces, the sound of the kindly voices, to which I had been so long
accustomed. At last a turn in the road brought us in sight of the
numberless fires of a large camp. It was a bright scene, though, far
from gay. The few men who crouched by the fires were not roistering,
rollicking soldiers, but pale shadows, holding their thin hands over
the blaze which scorched their faces, while their thinly-covered backs
were exposed to a cold so intense that it congealed the sap in the
farthest end of the log on which they sat. Driving in among these, up
an "avenue" bordered on either side by rows of white tents, the
ambulance drew up at last before the door of my "quarters,"--a rough
cabin built of logs. Through the open door streamed the cheery light
of a wood-fire, upon which pine knots had been freshly thrown.
A bunk at one side, made of puncheons, and filled with pine straw,
over which comforts and army-blankets had been thrown, hard pillows
stuffed with straw, having coarse, unbleached cases, a roughly-made
table before the fire, a lot of boxes marked "Q.M.," etc., to serve
as seats, and you have my cabin in its entirety.
Drawing my box up close to the fire, I sat down, Tempe, in the mean
while, stirring the coals and arranging the burning ends of the pine
in true country style.
Presently my supper was brought in,--corn-bread, cornmeal coffee, a
piece of musty fried salt meat, heavy brown sugar, and no milk. I was,
however, hungry, and ate with a relish. Tempe went off to some region
unknown for the supper, returning unsatisfied and highly disgusted
with the "hog-wittles" which had been offered to her. Soon Dr. Beatty
called, bringing with him Mrs. Dr. ----, a cheery little body, who,
with her husband, occupied a room under the same roof as myself, a
sort of hall open at both ends dividing us.
We had some conversation regarding the number of sick and the
provisions for their comfort. On the whole, the evening passed more
cheerfully than I had expected. My sleep that night was dreamless. I
did not even feel the cold, although Tempe declared she was "dun froze
stiff."
Very early I was astir, gazing from the door of my cabin at my new
sphere of labor.
Snow had fallen during the night, and still came down steadily. The
path was hidden, the camp-fires appeared as through a mist. A
confused, steady sound of chopping echoed through the woods. I heard
mysterious words, dimly saw figures moving about the fires. Everything
looked unpromising,--dismal. Chilled to the heart, I turned back to my
only comfort, the splendid fire Tempe had built. My breakfast was
exactly as supper had been, and was brought by the cook, a detailed
soldier, who looked as if he ought to have been at the front. He
apologized for the scanty rations, promising some beef for dinner.
Soon Dr. Beatty, accompanied by two assistant-surgeons, appeared to
escort me to the tents. I went gladly, for I was anxious to begin my
work. What I saw during that hour of inspection convinced me, not only
that my services were needed, but that my work must be begun and
carried on under almost insurmountable difficulties and disadvantages.
I found no comforts, no hospital stores, insufficient nourishment, a
scarcity of blankets and comforts, even of pillows. Of the small
number of the latter few had cases; all were soiled. The sick men had
spit over them and the bedclothes, which could not be changed because
there were no more. As I have said, there were no comforts. The
patients looked as if they did not expect any, and seemed sullen and
discontented. The tents were not new, nor were they all good. They
seemed to me without number. Passing in and out among them, I felt
bewildered and doubtful whether I should ever learn to know one from
another, or to find my patients. Part of the camp was set apart for
convalescents. Here were dozens of Irishmen. They were so maimed and
shattered that every one should have been entitled to a discharge, but
the poor fellows had no homes to go to, and were quite unable to
provide for themselves. There were the remnants of companies,
regiments, and brigades, many of them Louisianians, and from other
States outside the Confederate lines. Had there been any fighting to
do, they would still have "taken a hand," maimed as they were. The
monotony of hospital camp-life made them restless; the rules they
found irksome, and constantly evaded; they growled, complained, were
always "in hot water," and almost unmanageable.
The first time I passed among them they eyed me askance, seeming, I
feared, to resent the presence of a woman. But I made it my daily
custom to visit their part of the camp, standing by their camp-fires
to listen to their "yarns," or to relate some of my own experiences,
trying to make their hardships seem less, listening to their
complaints, meaning in earnest to speak to Dr. Beatty regarding
palpable wrongs. This I did not fail to do, and whenever the doctor's
sense of justice was aroused, he promptly acted on the right side. I
do not wish to convey to my readers the idea that there were men
always sullen and disagreeable. Far from it, they were a jolly set of
men when in a good humor, and, like all Irishmen, full of wit and
humor. After I became known to them their gentle, courteous treatment
of me never varied. They were very fond of playing cards, but whenever
I appeared upon one of the avenues, every card would disappear. Not
one ever failed to salute me, often adding a "God bless you, ma'am,
may the heavens be your bed," etc. Disliking to interfere with their
only amusement, I let them know that I did not dislike to see them
playing cards. At this they were very pleased, saying, "Sure, it's no
harrum; it's not gambling we are; divil a cint have we to win or
lose." One day I stopped to look on a moment at a game of euchre. One
of the players had lost an arm (close to the shoulder). Said he,
"Sure, ma'am, it's bating the b'ys intirely, I am." I did not
understand, so he explained, with a comic leer at the others,--"Sure,
haven't I always the '_lone hand_' on thim?" At once I recalled a
similar remark made by an Irish soldier lying in the hospital at
Newnan, who had just lost one of his legs; when I condoled with him,
he looked up brightly, and, pointing at his remaining foot, explained,
"Niver mind, this feller _will go it alone and make it_."
Among the surgeons in camp was one who had highly offended these
convalescents by retiring to his cabin, _pulling the latch-string
inside_ and remaining deaf to all calls and appeals from outside.
Mutterings of discontent were heard for a while, but at last as there
was no further mention of the matter, I believed it was ended.
About this time the actions of the convalescents began to appear
mysterious: they remained in their tents or absented themselves, as I
supposed, upon foraging expeditions. Frequently, I found them working
upon cow-horns, making ornaments as I thought (at this business
Confederate soldiers were very expert). One day I caught sight of a
large pile of horns and bones just brought in, but still thought
nothing of it. Shortly, however, a small deputation from the
convalescent camp appeared at the door of my cabin just as I was
eating my dinner: all saluted; the spokesman then explained that the
"b'ys" were prepared to give the obnoxious surgeon a "siranade" that
same night. They had been working for weeks to produce the instruments
of torture which were then all ready. "We don't mane to scare _ye_,
ma'am, and if it'll be displazin' to ye, sure we'll give it up." I
told them that I did not want to know about it, and was sorry they had
told me, but I would not be frightened at any noise I might hear in
the night. "All right, ma'am," said the spokesman, winking at the
others to show that he comprehended. The party then withdrew. About
midnight such a startling racket suddenly broke the stillness that in
spite of my previous knowledge, I was frightened. Horns of all grades
of sound, from deep and hoarse to shrill, tin cups and pans clashed
together or beaten with bones, yells, whistling, and in short every
conceivable and inconceivable noise.
After the first blast, utter stillness; the startled officers,
meanwhile, listening to discover the source of the unearthly noise,
then, as if Bedlam had broken loose, the concert began once more. It
was concentrated around the cabin of the surgeon so disliked. As the
quarters of the officers were somewhat removed from the hospital
proper, and very near my own, I got the full benefit of the noise. I
cannot now say why the racket was not put a stop to. Perhaps because
the serenaders numbered over one hundred and the surgeons despaired of
restoring order. At all events, during the whole night we were allowed
to sink into slumber, to be aroused again and again by the same
hideous burst of sound. I only remember that the next day the horns,
etc., were collected and carried away from camp, while the offenders
were refused permission to leave their quarters for a while.
In the sick camp there lay over two hundred sick and wounded men,
faithfully attended and prescribed for by the physicians, but lacking
every comfort. Dr. Beatty was worried about the sick, but under the
circumstances what could he do? Soon after occurred the terrible
battle of Franklin, when our tents were again filled with wounded men.
These men were unlike any I have ever nursed. Their shattered forms
sufficiently attested courage and devotion to duty, but the enthusiasm
and pride which had hitherto seemed to me so grand and noble when
lighting up the tortured faces of wounded soldiers, appearing like a
reflection of great glory, I now missed. It seemed as if they were yet
revengeful and unsatisfied; their countenances not yet relaxed from
the tension of the fierce struggle, their eyes yet gleaming with the
fires of battle. The tales they told made me shudder: Of men, maddened
by the horrible butchery going on around them, mounting the horrible
barricade (trampling out in many instances the little sparks of life
which might have been rekindled), only to add their own bodies to the
horrid pile, and to be trampled in their turn by comrades who sought
to avenge them; of soldiers on both sides, grappling hand to hand,
tearing open each other's wound, drenched with each other's blood,
_dying_ locked in a fierce embrace. It turns me sick even now when I
remember the terrible things I then heard, the awful wounds I then
saw. During the whole period of my service, I never had a harder task
than when striving to pour oil upon these troubled waters, to soothe
and reconcile these men who talked incessantly of "sacrifice" and
useless butchery. This was particularly the case with General
Clebourne's men, who so loved their gallant leader that, at his death,
revenge had almost replaced patriotism in their hearts.
I do not consider myself competent, nor do I wish to criticise the
generals who led our armies and who, since the war, have, with few
exceptions, labored assiduously to throw the blame of failure upon
each other. I have read their books with feelings of intense sorrow
and regret,--looking for a reproduction of the glories of the
past,--finding whole pages of recrimination and full of "all
uncharitableness." For my own part, I retain an unchanged,
unchangeable respect and reverence for all alike, _believing each to
have been a pure and honest patriot, who, try as he might, could not
surmount the difficulties which each one in turn encountered_.
A brave, _vindictive_ foe, whose superiority in numbers, in arms, and
equipment, and, more than all, _rations_, they could maintain
indefinitely. And to oppose them, an utterly inadequate force, whose
bravery and unparalleled endurance held out to the end, although
hunger gnawed at their vitals, disease and death daily decimated their
ranks, intense anxiety for dear ones exposed to dangers, privations,
all the horrors which everywhere attended the presence of the
invaders, torturing them every hour.
While yielding to none in my appreciation of the gallant General Hood,
there is one page in his book which always arouses my indignation and
which I can never reconcile with what I know of the history of the
Army of Tennessee, from the time General Hood took command to the
surrender. Truly, they were far from being like "dumb driven cattle,"
for _every man_ was "_a hero_ in the strife." It seems to me that the
memory of the battle of Franklin alone should have returned to General
Hood to "give him pause" before he gave to the public the page
referred to:
(_Extract._)
"My failure on the 20th and the 22d to bring about a general
pitched battle arose from the unfortunate policy pursued from
Dalton to Atlanta, and which had wrought 'such' demoralization amid
rank and file as to render the men unreliable in battle. I cannot
give a more forcible, though homely, exemplification of the morale
of the troops at that period than _by comparing the Army to a team_
which has been allowed to balk at every hill, one portion will make
strenuous efforts to advance, whilst the other will refuse to move,
and thus paralyze the exertions of the first. Moreover, it will
work faultlessly one day and stall the next. No reliance can be
placed upon it at any stated time. Thus it was with the army when
ordered into a general engagement, one corps struggled nobly,
whilst the neighboring corps frustrated its efforts by simple
inactivity; and whilst the entire Army might fight desperately one
day, it would fail in action the following day. Stewart's gallant
attack on the 20th was neutralized by Hardee's inertness on the
right; and the failure in the battle of the 22d is to be attributed
also to the effect of the 'timid defensive' policy of this officer,
who, although a brave and gallant soldier, neglected to obey
orders, and swung away, totally independent of the main body of the
Army."
Time softens and alleviates all troubles, and this was no exception.
But the winter was a very gloomy one: my heart was constantly
oppressed by witnessing suffering I could not relieve, needs which
could not be met. The efforts of the foragers, combined with my own
purchases from country wagons (although Dr. Beatty was liberal in his
orders, and I spent every cent I could get), were utterly
insufficient, although the officers of this camp-hospital were
self-denying, and all luxuries were reserved for the sick. I hit upon
an expedient to vary the rations a little, which found favor with the
whole camp. The beef was simply atrocious. I had it cut into slices,
let it lie in salt with a sprinkling of vinegar for a day, then hung
the pieces up the chimneys until it was smoked. I first tried it in my
own cabin, found it an improvement, and so had a quantity prepared for
the hungry wounded. And so these dark days sped on, bringing, in due
time,
THE LAST CONFEDERATE CHRISTMAS.
I will here subjoin an article originally written for the _Southern
Bivouac_, which will give my readers an idea of how the Christmas-tide
was spent.
For some time previous I had been revolving in my mind various plans
for the celebration of Christmas by making some addition to the diet
of the sick and wounded soldiers then under my charge. But, plan as I
would, the stubborn facts in the case rose up to confront me, and I
failed to see just how to accomplish my wishes. We were then located
at Lauderdale Springs, Mississippi. I, with my servant, Tempe,
occupied one room of a small, double house, built of rough-hewn logs,
and raised a few feet from the ground; a sort of hall, open at both
ends, separated my room from one on the opposite side occupied by Dr.
---- and his wife. All around, as far as one could see, amid the white
snow and with lofty pine-trees towering above them, extended the
hospital-tents, and in these lay the sick, the wounded, the dying.
Hospital-supplies were scarce, our rations of the plainest articles,
which, during the first years of the war, were considered absolute
necessaries, had become priceless luxuries. Eggs, butter, chickens
came in such small quantities that they must be reserved for the very
sick. The cheerfulness, self-denial, and fellow-feeling shown by those
who were even partly convalescent, seemed to me to be scarcely less
admirable than the bravery which had distinguished them on the
battle-field. But this is a digression: let me hasten to relate how I
was helped to a decision as to Christmas "goodies." One morning, going
early to visit some wounded soldiers who had come in during the night,
I found in one tent a newcomer, lying in one of the bunks, his head
and face bandaged and bloody. By his side sat his comrade,--wounded
also, but less severely,--trying to soften for the other some
corn-bread, which he was soaking and beating with a stick in a tin cup
of cold water. He explained that the soldier with the bandaged head
had been shot in the mouth, and could take only soft food. I said,
"Don't give him that. I will bring him some mush and milk, or some
chicken soup." He set down the cup, looked at me with queer, half-shut
eyes, then remarked, "Yer ga-assin' now, ain't ye?"
Having finally convinced him that I was not, I retired for a moment to
send the nurse for some food. When it came, and while I was slowly
putting spoonfuls of broth into the poor, shattered mouth of his
friend, he stood looking on complacently, though with his lip
quivering. I said to him, "Now, what would _you_ like?" After a
moment's hesitation he replied, "Well, lady, I've been sort of
hankerin' after a sweet-potato pone, but I s'pose ye couldn't noways
get that?" "There," thought I, "that's just what I will get and give
them all for Christmas dinner."
Hastening to interview the surgeon in charge, I easily obtained
permission to go on the next day among the farmers to collect
materials for my feast. An ambulance was placed at my disposal.
My foraging expedition was tolerably successful, and I returned next
evening with a quantity of sweet potatoes, several dozen eggs, and
some country butter. Driving directly to the door of my cabin, I had
my treasures securely placed within; for, although holding my
soldier-friends in high estimation, I agreed with the driver of the
ambulance,--"Them 'taturs has to be taken in out of the cold." My
neighbor's wife, Mrs. Dr. ----, entered heartily into my plans for the
morrow, promising her assistance. My night-round of visits to the sick
having been completed, I was soon seated by my own fireside, watching
the operation of making and baking a corn hoecake, which, with some
smoked beef of my own preparation and a cup of corn-coffee, made my
supper on this Christmas eve. It was so bitterly cold that I did not
undress; but, wrapping a blanket around me, lay down on my bunk. Tempe
also rolled herself up, and lay down before the fire. In order to
explain what followed, I must here say that the boards of my floor
were only laid, not fastened, as nails were not to be had. I was
awakened from "the first sweet sleep of night" by an unearthly yell
from Tempe, who sprang unceremoniously upon my bunk, grasping me
tightly, and crying, "O Lord, Miss ----, yearthquate dun cum!" Sitting
up, I was horrified to see the boards of the floor rising and falling
with a terrible noise. A moment later I realized the situation. A
party of hogs had organized a raid, having for its object my precious
potatoes. A sure-enough "yearthquate" would have been less appalling
to me, as I have always been mortally afraid of hogs. Just then one of
the invaders managed to knock aside a board and get his head in full
view. I shivered with terror, but Tempe now grasped the state of the
case, and, being "to the manner born," leaped forward to execute dire
vengeance on the unfortunate hog. Seizing a burning stick from the
fire, she rushed upon the intruder, who had gotten wedged so that
advance or retreat was alike impossible. Her angry cries, and the
piercing squeals of the hog, roused all in the vicinity. Help soon
came, our enemies were routed, quiet was restored. My pones were a
great success. All who were allowed by their surgeons partook of them.
I had two immense pans full brought to my cabin, where those who were
able brought their plates and cups, receiving a generous quantity of
the pone and a cup of sweet milk.
But these struggles and hardships were nothing in comparison to what
was now to befall us. The constant fighting and daily-increasing
number of wounded at the front required the presence of experienced
surgeons. After the battle of Franklin some of ours were sent up. In
one or two instances those who replaced them were young and
inexperienced. They were permitted to attend the convalescents and
light cases. One morning, I was aroused very early by a nurse who
begged me to go to one of the convalescents who had been calling for
me all night.
Arrived at the tent, which at that hour was rather dark, I lifted the
flap to enter, but was arrested by a piteous cry from the patient, who
lay facing the entrance. "For God's sake keep out that light," said
he, "it hurts my eyes." The nurse said, "It's masles he has, ma'am."
So I concluded the pained eyes were not unusual.
Approaching the bunk, and taking the patient's hand, I found he had a
raging fever. But when I placed my hand upon his forehead, and felt
the dreadful pustules thickly covering it, my heart almost ceased to
beat. An unreasoning terror overpowered me; my impulse was to flee
at once from that infected tent. But I must not give any alarm, so
I simply said to the nurse, "I will go to Dr. Beatty for some
medicine; let no one enter this tent until I come back." Dr. Beatty
was not yet out of his cabin, but receiving my urgent message, soon
appeared. I said, "Doctor, in tent No.---- there is a very sick man;
can we look at the books and learn what diagnosis his surgeon has
made?" We went to the office, found the patient's name and number:
diagnosis,--_Measles_. I then said, "Dr. Beatty, it is not measles,
but, I fear, smallpox." At once, the doctor strode off, followed
closely by myself. As before, the tent was dark. "Lift those flaps
high," said the surgeon. It was done, and there lay before us a
veritable case of smallpox.
Dr. Beatty's entire calmness and self-possession quite restored my
own. Said he, "I must have time to consult my surgeons, to determine
what is to be done. Meanwhile, retire to your cabin. You will hear
from me when matters are arranged."
The next few hours were for me fraught with fearful anxiety and
uncertainty,--yes, _uncertainty_,--for (to my shame, let it be
recorded) I actually debated in my own mind whether or not to desert
these unfortunate boys of mine, who could not themselves escape the
threatened danger.
God helping me, I was able to resist this terrible temptation. I had,
I reasoned, been already exposed as much as was possible, having
attended the sick man for days before. Having dedicated myself to the
Holy Cause, for better or worse, I could not desert it even when put
to this trying test. So, when Dr. Beatty came to say that in a few
hours quarantine would be established and rigidly enforced, offering
me transportation that I might at once go on with the large party who
were leaving, I simply announced my determination to remain, but asked
that Tempe might be sent to her owners in Alabama, as I dared not risk
keeping her.
The poor fellow who had been first seized died that night, and
afterward many unfortunates were buried beneath the snow-laden pines.
Some of the nurses fell sick; from morning until night, after, far
into the night, my presence was required in those fever-haunted tents.
When not on duty, the loneliness of my cabin was almost insupportable.
Sometimes I longed to flee away from the dismal monotony. Often I sat
upon my doorstep almost ready to scream loudly enough to drown the sad
music of the pines. Since the war I have seen a little poem by John
Esten Cooke, which always reminds me of the time when the band in the
pines brought such sadness to my own heart:
"THE BAND IN THE PINES.
"Oh, band in the pine-wood cease!
Cease with your splendid call;
The living are brave and noble,
But the dead were bravest of all!
"They throng to the martial summons,
To the loud, triumphant strain;
And the dear bright eyes of long-dead friends
Come to the heart again.
"They come with the ringing bugle
And the deep drum's mellow roar,
Till the soul is faint with longing
For the hands we clasp no more!
"Oh, band in the pine-wood cease
Or the heart will melt in tears,
For the gallant eyes and the smiling lips
And the voices of old years!"
When, at last, we were released from durance vile, the Confederate
army had retreated. Of course, the hospitals must follow it. By this
time my health was completely broken down. The rigors of the winter,
the incessant toil, the hard rations had done their work well. I was
no longer fit to nurse the sick. In February I left the camp,
intending to go for a while wherever help was needed, relying upon a
change to recuperate my exhausted energies.
But from that time there was so much irregularity as far as hospital
organization was concerned that one scarcely knew how best to serve
the sick. Besides, the presence of a lady had become embarrassing to
the surgeons in charge of hospitals, who, while receiving orders one
day which were likely to be countermanded the next, often having to
send their stores, nurses, etc., to one place while they awaited
orders in another, could find no time to provide quarters and
sustenance for a lady. As an illustration of this state of things, I
will here give an extract from a letter addressed to me after the war
by Dr. McAllister, of the "Buckner Hospital."
"I was ordered late in November to Gainesville, Alabama; before
reaching that place, my orders were changed to Macon; in February to
Auburn, Alabama; thence to the woods to organize a tent hospital. No
sick were sent there, and I had nothing to do but to build. Put up
eighty large tents, built octagon homes, with rounded tops, and
flag-poles on the top of each. Everything looked gloomy, but I kept on
as if I expected to remain there always. Just as I had everything
completed, received orders to move to Charlotte, North Carolina. When
I got to Columbus, Georgia, was ordered to send on my stores with my
negroes and women-servants, in charge of a faithful man, while I and
my detailed men were to remain in the city during its investment, and
as long as the struggle lasted, but at last to save myself, and join
my stores in Macon, Georgia. Remained during the fight, while the city
fell, and all my detailed men were captured; rode out of the city by
the light of the burning buildings, and my road was lighted for twelve
or fifteen miles by the burning city; borrowed horses about twelve at
night, caught the last retreating train, put my servants Noel and Sam
on it; rode on with my true friend Dr. Tates. Found the servants at
Genoa Station, a distance of thirty-five miles, next morning at
sunrise, thence to Macon; next night found my wife on the same crowded
box-car; left her with Mrs. Yates, Mrs. Calan, and another lady from
Columbus. Some of my stores had been sent to Atlanta, and some had
been sent to Macon; then the railroad was cut between Macon and
Atlanta; I had either to remain at Macon and be captured, or take the
only road that was clear to Fort Valley, which I did, leaving my wife
and Mrs. Yates at Dr. Green's. Yates, myself, Sam, and Noel took to
the woods, and there remained about ten days, living as best we could.
Then there was a flag of truce, and we came into Fort Valley.
Thousands of Yankee cavalry were there in camps; all the railroads cut
so we could not leave. One night we stole from the Yankees two good
mules, borrowed a wagon, and took our wives across the country until
we could strike one end of the Atlanta road, of which the Yankees had
not got possession; went on into the city of Atlanta, where I met Dr.
Stout, who told me the game was up, that my stores were some of them
at Congress Station, some hundred miles away on the Augusta road, and
for me to go on there and surrender to the first Yankee who commanded
me to do so. Great heaven! what a shock to me! I would rather have
died than to have heard it. I went down the road and found my stores,
but did not have the honor of surrendering to the Yankees. A mob,
constituted of women, children, and renegade Confederate soldiers, and
with some negroes, charged my encampment and took everything except my
wife, and trunks, and Mrs. Yates, and her trunks, which we saved by
putting them into a wagon and driving for our lives out of the back
alley of the town. At last we came to Atlanta, where we parted with
Dr. and Mrs. Yates. My wife and I travelled to Marion in an old wagon,
leaving the poor negroes scattered about in the woods. I only had time
to tell them to go where they came from, to their former owners. After
a tedious journey, having to beg my bread, I arrived at home (Marion,
Alabama) about the first of May, 1865."
The same irregularities existed everywhere; my state of health forbade
me to follow these erratic movements: indeed, I was utterly broken
down and therefore made my way, not without great difficulty and many
detentions, to Alabama, where my little boy had preceded me. Even
then, we never dreamed of surrender, nor did the sad news reach us
until many days after it had taken place. We were utterly incredulous,
we could not, would not believe it. Meanwhile, the state of things
described in one of the articles contained in another part of this
book, designed for children (Sally's ride) culminated in the
long-dreaded _Raid_.
Why the raiders had recrossed the river, returning to Selma, and
leaving undisturbed (alas! only for a time) the elegant
plantation-homes which lay all along their route, remained a mystery.
It was certain that a detachment of them had been seen and reported by
our own scouts, who at that time were in the saddle day and night
"watching their motions;" the negroes also declared, "Dey was dare,
_suah_, 'case we dun _seed_ 'em." All able-bodied men had long ago
gone to the front. The "home-guard," who were doing their best to keep
watch and ward over helpless women and children, were only boys, full
of ardor and courage, but too young to join the army, or men who from
age or disability were also ineligible. These knew every inch of
ground, every hiding-place for many miles. At every plantation they
were expected and welcome, whenever they could find an opportunity to
dash in, dismount, report the state of matters outside, and hastily
swallow the "snack" always kept ready and set before them without loss
of time, quite as a matter of course.
The news brought by these scouts, far from quieting apprehension,
tended to increase and deepen it. The old man who, time out of mind,
had managed the little ferry fifteen miles away, had been shot for
refusing to ferry over some Federal soldiers. The bright light so
anxiously watched one dark night proved to have been a fire, which had
consumed the dwelling, gin-house, stables, etc., of a widowed cousin.
Her cows had been slaughtered, her horses stolen, her garden and
"truck-patch" ploughed all over in the search for hidden silver. Other
and even more hideous tales (alas! too true) appalled the hearts and
tried the courage of the women, who yet must never give up _trying_ to
protect the interests confided to them, must _seem_ to hold the reins
of power when really they were at the mercy of the negroes, who (to
their credit be it spoken) behaved under these trying circumstances
extremely well, in some cases showing the most affectionate solicitude
and sympathy. They could not, however, in all cases be trusted to
withstand the bribes sure to be offered for information as to
hiding-places of valuables. So, little by little, silver and jewelry
were made up into small packages to be disposed of secretly.
For several days _all_ were on the _qui vive_. The fearful suspense,
dread, and anguish of that time will never be forgotten by those who
shared those anxious vigils; from earliest light until nightfall,
restless feet traversed the house and yard, anxious eyes watched every
possible approach,--the road, the woods, the plantation. At night, not
one of the "white folks" thought of undressing; the very last of a bag
of real coffee, which had been treasured like gold, was now brought
out. During the day, the usual sweet-potato coffee was served. In the
cool April nights, a cheerful fire always blazed in the open fireplace
of the parlor, by it was set a pot of very strong coffee, upon which
the ladies relied to keep them awake. One at a time would doze in her
chair or upon the sofa, while the others kept watch, walking from
window to window, listening at the fast-locked door, starting at every
sound. Occasionally the dogs would bark furiously: "There they are!"
cried everybody, and rising to their feet, with bated breath and
wildly-beating hearts, they would listen until convinced that their
four-footed friends had given a false alarm. Those of the
women-servants who had no husbands begged every night to sleep "in de
house." They were terrified. Their mattresses strewed the floors, and
it really seemed as if they were a kind of protection, although they
always fell asleep and snored so loudly as to drive the ladies, who
wanted to listen for outside sounds, to the verge of distraction. Some
one would occasionally interrupt the noise by administering to each in
turn a good shake or insisting upon a change of position, but at best
the lull was temporary. Soon one of the sleepers would give a
suppressed snort, to be immediately joined by one after another, until
the unearthly chorus once more swelled to rack the quivering nerves of
the listeners.
Sometimes a peculiar tapping announced the presence outside of the
master of the house. Creeping softly to the window of an empty room,
the wife would receive assurances of present safety. She would then
hand out valuable packages of silver or jewelry to be hidden far in
the woods in places unknown to any but the owner, who marked the way
to the buried treasure by "blazing" certain trees. Many valuables were
hidden in this way and recovered after the war. The feeble condition
of Colonel ---- added tenfold to the anxiety of his family, for,
although he persisted in doing his duty, it was certain that continual
exposure and fatigue might at any time prove fatal. Insidious disease
was even then gnawing at his vitals; but, Spartan-like, he folded
above the dreadful agony the robe of manly courage and dignity, which
hid it from even those who knew him best. Amid all the darkness and
sorrow his pleasant smile cheered, his commanding presence inspired
respect and confidence. From the windows of his soul shone the steady
light of the patriotism that hopeth all things, believeth all things,
endureth all things. It was not God's will that he should go forth to
battle, but with a kindly heart and generous hand he helped the
soldiers to do their duty by caring for their "loved ones at home."
Meanwhile the noble wife proved a helpmate indeed. A true type of
Southern women. Not a duty was neglected. She looked well to the ways
of her household and the well-being of the negroes committed to her
care. The spinning and weaving of cloth for the almost naked soldiers
in the field went on; the quarters were visited, the sick were cared
for. The calm, steady voice read to the old, precious promises, or
instructed the young negroes as to the way of truth. So day after day
passed, the same anxious dread chilling all hearts, added fear always
recurring as the darkness came with its terrible possibilities.
April had come, bringing a greater profusion of flowers, painting the
face of nature with lovelier hues. No one knew why the neighborhood
had thus far escaped being "raided." One evening the scouts (not one
alone, but several) reported, "Not a Yankee on this side the river.
Gone off on a raid miles on the other side." Colonel ---- came in
later confirming the report. He was persuaded to remain for one night's
rest, and immediately retired to his room. About dusk two men in the
disguise (it is _now_ believed) of Confederate soldiers--ragged, worn,
_barefooted_, and hungry--came stealing in, apparently fearful of being
discovered and taken prisoners. No one suspected them. They were warmly
welcomed. A supper of broiled ham, milk, eggs, corn-muffins, and real
coffee was set before them. They were afterwards shown to a comfortable
cabin in the yard,--"the boys' room,"--provided with every comfort, a
servant to wait on them, and left to repose. These also having assured
the ladies that "the Yanks" had gone off on a raid on the other side,
it was deemed safe to take advantage of such an opportunity to go
regularly to bed and rest, in preparation for whatever might befall
afterwards. By ten o'clock everybody was sound asleep. About midnight
one of the ladies, hearing a slight noise, arose and looked out the
window. Old Whitey was walking about the yard, nibbling the grass.
Knowing he was never allowed in the yard, she simply supposed that one
of the servants had left open the quarter-gate. Not another sound save
the mule's step broke the stillness of the night. Strange to say, the
dogs were nowhere to be seen, nor did they bark at the mule. Wondering
a little at this circumstance, the lady was about to lie down again,
when simultaneously every door of the house was assailed with the butts
of guns with a terrific noise. At the same time many hoarse voices
yelled, "Open these doors, d---- y--! Open up, here, or we'll burn the
house over your heads!" Everybody at once realized the situation. In
that fearful moment strength and courage seemed to come as from above.
The servants, sleeping upon the floor, began to scream, but were
instantly silenced. The ladies, slipping on dressing-gowns, but never
stopping to put on shoes or stockings, quietly opened the doors.
Instantly the whole house swarmed with Federal soldiers. Their first
act was to capture Colonel ---- and drag him outside the house, giving
him no time to put on any clothes save his pants and night-shirt. The
raiders then proceeded to ransack the house. Every room, every closet,
every trunk, box, drawer, was rifled. Two men went to the sideboard,
quietly gathering up the few silver spoons, forks, ladles, etc., not
hidden, wrapped them up and put them in their pockets. Others stripped
off the pillow-and bolster-cases, stuffing them with clothing,
pictures, etc., tied them together, and placed them ready to be slung
over the backs of their horses. Bayonets wore thrust through portraits;
the sofas, beds, and lounges were pierced in search of concealed
valuables; bureau-drawers were emptied, then pitched out of the doors
or windows; the panels of locked _armoires_ were broken or kicked to
pieces to get at the contents; even the linen sheets were dragged off
the beds and thrust into already full sacks and bags. Meanwhile,
bonfires had been kindled in the yard. By the light the swarming demons
carried on their destructive work outside. Around the pans of delicious
milk in the dairy men reached over each others' heads to fill their tin
cups. Buttermilk, clabber, fresh butter, disappeared in an instant. In
the basement the officers were feasting on ham, etc. The smoke-house
was left bare. Sugar, meal, flour, rice, were emptied into the yard,
and stamped or shuffled into the dust. Axes or the butts of guns were
employed to literally smash everything. Ham, shoulder-meat, etc., were
tossed into wagons. Cows were driven off, and, oh, the beautiful
horses, the _pride_ and pets of their owners, were _led_, snorting and
frightened, into the road, where the saddles of the cavalry-horses were
put upon their shivering backs preparatory to being mounted and ridden
away by their new masters.
With perfect calmness the ladies watched the havoc and desolation
which was being wrought in their beloved home, among their household
treasures. To one of them had been given, some time previous, a sacred
trust, a watch which before the war had been presented to a minister
by his congregation. When dying in one of the Confederate hospitals he
had given it to Mrs. ----, begging that, if possible, it might be sent
to his wife in Arkansas. This watch had been concealed upon the tester
of a bed, and so far had escaped discovery. But one of the servants
having given information regarding it, suddenly two soldiers dragged
Mrs. ---- into her own room, where they believed it was concealed. She
positively refused to give it up. Throwing off the mattress, the men
held a match to the feather-bed beneath, saying, "_Here_ goes your
d----d old house, then." Had the house been her own she might still
have resisted, but as she was only a guest, and had been sheltered and
most kindly treated, the watch was given up. The ruffians then
insisted upon searching her, and in trying to force a ring from her
finger, bruised and hurt the tender flesh. Even the negro cabins were
searched. In several instances small sums of money which had been
saved up were taken. Many threats to burn up "the whole business" were
made, but, for some unknown reason, not carried into effect. Just at
dawn the raiders mounted their horses and rode away, recrossing the
river to Selma with their prisoners. As they rode through the
"quarters," the negro men joined them on mules, horses, or on foot.
Among the prisoners rode Colonel ---- upon an old, worn-out horse,
without saddle or bridle. By his side, guarding him and mounted upon
the colonel's magnificent riding-horse, fully accoutred, was a negro
man belonging to a neighboring plantation, who had guided the Federals
to "ole ----'s place." Just behind, upon a sorry mule, escorted by a
mixture of negroes and Yankees riding his own fine horses, came
Colonel M----, his head erect, his eyes blazing scornfully, glancing
from side to side, or drawing a sharp, hard breath between his
clinched teeth as he overheard some ribald jest. His house and
gin-house had been burned, his fields laid waste; he had left his
young daughters without protection and without shelter. What the
ladies felt as they saw this sad cavalcade pass out of sight may not
be told. Morning dawned upon a scene of desolation, sickening in the
extreme,--ruin, waste, wreck everywhere. The house emptied of
everything valuable, floors filthy with the prints of muddy feet, the
garden ruined, furniture battered and spoiled. Outside, broken
barrels, boxes, etc., strewed the earth; lard, sugar, flour, meal were
mingled together and with the sandy soil; streams of molasses ran down
from broken casks; guns which had belonged to the family were broken
and splintered and lay where they had been hurled; fences were broken
down. Had there been any stock left, there was nothing to keep them
out of garden or yard. Only old Whitey was left, however, and he
walked gingerly about sniffing at the cumbered ground, looking as
surprised as he was able. The carriage and buggy had been drawn out,
the curtains and cushions cut and _smeared thoroughly with molasses
and lard_. Breakfast-time arrived, but no Ruthy came up from the
quarter; no smoke curled upward from the kitchen-chimney; a more
hopeless, dismal party could not well be imagined than the three women
who walked from room to room among the _débris_, neither noticing or
caring for the losses, only intensely anxious regarding the helpless
prisoner, who was surely suffering, but whom they could not hope to
relieve. As the day wore on, some of the women from the quarters
ventured near, bringing some coarse food which had been cooked in
their own cabins; they would not, however, go inside the house, "Mass
Yankee tole us we gwine ter get kill ef we wait on you all." Towards
evening Mrs. ---- walked down to the "quarter." Not a man was to be
seen. The women were evidently frightened and uncertain as to how far
the power of "Mass Yankee" extended. Their mistress had been a kind
friend, and their habitual obedience and respect for her could not at
once be overcome, but the threats and promises of the Federals had
disturbed and unsettled them. Aunt Sophy was an old servant who had
nursed Mrs. ----'s mother. For years she had been an invalid, kindly
nursed and cared for by her master and mistress, receiving her meals
from the family table, and having always some of the younger servants
detailed to wait on her. Passing by her cottage now, Mrs. ---- was
astonished to see it empty. "Where is Sophy? what has happened to
her?" "Oh, she dun gone to Selma." "That is impossible; why, she has
not walked even as far as the house for months." "Well, she dun gone,
shuah; she make Elsie hitch up ole Whitey in de cart and dribe her
ober. One genplum he gwine gib her a mule for her own sef and forty
acres ob groun'; so she dun gon' ter see 'bout hit." "Did any one else
go?" "Oh, yes, mistis, Uncle Albert and Aunt Alice dey go too, and dey
want we all to go 'long, but I's gwine ter wait untwill sees what Jack
got ter say, 'cause I ain't gwine _nowha_ dragging all dem chillum
along untwill I knows for sartin whar I's gwine ter stop." Sick at
heart, the lady turned away, slowly returning to the desolated house.
Her occupation was gone; order and system could not be restored. There
was nothing before the anxious woman but to watch and wait for news.
On the second day one of the negro men returned, bringing a tale
almost too horrible for belief,--Colonel M----, whose defiant bearing
had incensed his captors more and more, had been shot down for
refusing to obey orders. "Master was well, but looked mighty bad." The
man also brought the first news of the surrender, a rumor which all
refused to believe, although even the possibility filled all breasts
with terrible forebodings. _Could_ it be true? No! a thousand times
no! And yet,--oh, the dread, the anguish of waiting to know.
The bright sunlight, the waving trees, the joyous notes of the
feathered songsters seemed a mockery. Their stricken hearts cried out
to all the beautiful things of nature,--
"How can ye bloom so fresh and fair?
How can ye sing, ye little birds, and I so weary, fu' o' care?"
Towards evening on the third day of suspense the master returned fresh
from the prison, weary, ragged, dirty, and utterly woe-begone, for he
had been set at liberty only to learn that liberty was but an empty
sound. Sadly he confirmed the story of the surrender. The kindly eyes
still strove to cheer, but their happy light was forever quenched. The
firm lip quivered not as he told to the sorrowing women the woful
tale, but the iron had entered his soul and rankled there until its
fatal work was accomplished. Ah, many a noble spirit shrunk appalled
from the "frowning Providence" which then and long afterwards
_utterly_ hid the face of a merciful and loving Father. And yet, as
mother Nature with tender hands and loving care soon effaces all
traces of havoc and desolation, creating new beauties in lovely
profusion to cover even the saddest ruins, so it is wisely ordered
that time shall bring healing to wounded hearts. The women who on that
April evening long ago grieved so bitterly over the news of the
surrender have since known deep sorrow, have wept over many graves.
But, like all the women of the South, they have taken up the burden of
life bravely, and, God helping them, will not falter or fail until He
shall release them.
By and by, the men and boys of the family, from distant Appomattox,
from the Army of Tennessee, came straggling home. All had walked
interminable miles,--all wore equally ragged, dirty, foot-sore, weary,
dejected, despairing. They had done their best and had failed. Their
labor was ended.
All over the land lay the ruins of once happy homes. As men gazed upon
them, and thought of the past and _the future_, the apathy of despair
crept over them; life seemed a burden too heavy to be borne; they
longed to lay it down forever. For a time, men who had faced death
again and again while struggling for _freedom_, could not find courage
to look upon the desolation of the land, or to face the dread future.
Closing their weary eyes, they slept until the clanking of chains
awakened them.
Despotic power wrung the already bleeding, tortured heart of the
South, until crying aloud, she held out to her sons her fettered
hands. And then, fully aroused, hearing the piteous cries, the rattle
of chains, seeing the beloved face, full of woe, conscious of every
bitter, burning tear (which as it fell, seemed to sear their own
hearts), struggling to reach, to succor her, they found _themselves_
bound and powerless to save.
Alas, dear friends, that the pathway which opened so brightly, which
seemed to lead to heights of superlative glory, should have ended
beside the grave of hope. Oh, was it not hard to believe that
"whatever is is right?" To kneel submissively in this valley of
humiliation, and lift our streaming eyes to the heavens, that seemed
of brass, to the Father who, it then appeared, had forgotten to be
merciful. The glory which even then was apparent to the outside world,
could not penetrate the clouds which hung above us.
The land was yet red with blood that had been poured out in vain. From
once happy homes came wails of grief and despair.
Even the embers wore dead upon the hearths around which loved ones
should never more gather.
And since hope is dead, and naught can avail to change the decrees of
Fate, let me close this record of mingled glory and gloom, for hero
must be written,--
OMEGA.