country, it is now high time that you should give the country their
revenge. Since your withdrawing from this place, the fair sex are run
into great extravagancies. Their petticoats, which began to heave and
swell before you left us, are now blown up into a most enormous concave,
and rise every day more and more: In short, Sir, since our women know
themselves to be out of the eye of the SPECTATOR, they will be kept
within no compass. You praised them a little too soon for the modesty of
their head-dresses; for, as the humour of a sick person is often driven
out of one limb into another, their superfluity of ornaments, instead of
being entirely banished, seems only fallen from their heads upon their
lower parts. What they have lost in height they make up in breadth, and,
contrary to all rules of architecture, widen the foundations at the same
time that they shorten the superstructure.
'I find several speculative persons are of opinion that our sex has of
late years been very saucy, and that the hoop-petticoat is made use of
to keep us at a distance. It is most certain that a woman's honour
cannot be better entrenched than after this manner, in circle within
circle, amidst such a variety of out-works and lines of circumvallation,
A female who is thus invested in whalebone is sufficiently secured
against the approaches of an ill-bred fellow, who might as well think of
Sir _George Etherege_'s way of making love in a tub, as in the
midst of so many hoops.
'Among these various conjectures, there are men of superstitious
tempers, who look upon the hoop-petticoat as a kind of prodigy. Some
will have it that it portends the downfal of the _French_ King, and
observe that the farthingale appeared in _England_ a little before
the ruin of the _Spanish_ monarchy. Others are of opinion that it
fortels battle and bloodshed, and believe it of the same prognostication
as the tail of a blazing star.
'Should this fashion get among the ordinary people, our publick ways
would be so crowded that we should want street-room. Several
congregations of the best fashion find themselves already very much
straitened, and if the mode increase I wish it may not drive many
ordinary women into meetings and conventicles. Should our sex at the
same time take it into their heads to wear trunk-breeches (as who knows
what their indignation at this female treatment may drive them to) a man
and his wife would fill a whole pew.
'You know, Sir, it is recorded of _Alexander the Great_, that in
his _Indian_ expedition he buried several suits of armour, which,
by his direction, were made much too big for any of his soldiers, in
order to give posterity an extraordinary idea of him, and make them
believe he had commanded an army of giants. I am persuaded that if one
of the present petticoats happens to be hung up in any repository of
curiosities, it will lead into the same error the generations that lie
some removes from us, unless we can believe our posterity will think so
disrespectfully of their great-grandmothers, that they made themselves
monstrous to appear amiable.
'When I survey this new-fashioned _Rotunda_ in all its parts, I
cannot but think of the old philosopher, who, after having entered into
an _AEgyptian_ temple, and looked about for the idol of the place,
at length discovered a little black monkey enshrined in the midst of it,
upon which he could not forbear crying out, (to the great scandal of the
worshippers) What a magnificent palace is here for such a ridiculous
inhabitant!
'Though you have taken a resolution, in one of your papers, to avoid
descending to particularities of dress, I believe you will not think it
below you on so extraordinary an occasion, to unhoop the fair sex, and
cure this fashionable tympany that is got among them. I am apt to think
the petticoat will shrink of its own accord at your first coming to
town; at least a touch of your pen will make it contract itself, like
the sensitive plant, and by that means oblige several who are either
terrified or astonished at this portentous novelty, and among the rest,
'Your humble servant, &c.'
C.
No. 128. FRIDAY, JULY 27.
_Concordia discors._
LUCAN. 1. I. v. 98.
Harmonious discord.
Women in their nature are much more gay and joyous than men; whether it
be that their blood is more refined, their fibres more delicate, and
their animal spirits more light and volatile; or whether, as some have
imagined, there may not be a kind of sex in the very soul, I shall not
pretend to determine. As vivacity is the gift of women, gravity is that
of men. They should each of them therefore keep a watch upon the
particular bias which nature has fixed in their mind, that it may not
_draw_ too much, and lead them out of the paths of reason. This
will certainly happen, if the one in every word and action affects the
character of being rigid and severe, and the other of being brisk and
airy. Men should beware of being captivated by a kind of savage
philosophy, women by a thoughtless gallantry. Where these precautions
are not observed, the man often degenerates into a Cynick, the woman
into a coquette; the man grows sullen and morose, the woman impertinent
and fantastical.
By what I have said, we may conclude, men and women were made as
counterparts to one another, that the pains and anxieties of the husband
might be relieved by the sprightliness and good-humour of the wife. When
these are rightly tempered, care and chearfulness go hand in hand; and
the family, like a ship that is duly trimmed, wants neither sail nor
ballast.
Natural historians observe, (for whilst I am in the country I must fetch
my allusions from thence) That only the male birds have voices; that
their songs begin a little before breeding-time, and end a little after;
that whilst the hen is covering her eggs the male generally takes his
stand upon a neighbouring bough within her hearing; and by that means
amuses and diverts her with his songs during the whole time of her
sitting.
This contract among birds lasts no longer than till a brood of young
ones arises from it; so that in the feathered kind, the cares and
fatigues of the married state, if I may so call it, lie principally upon
the female. On the contrary, as in our species the man and woman are
joined together for life, and the main burden rests upon the former,
nature has given all the little arts of soothing and blandishment to the
female, that she may chear and animate her companion in a constant and
assiduous application to the making a provision for his family, and the
educating of their common children. This however is not to be taken so
strictly, as if the same duties were not often reciprocal, and incumbent
on both parties; but only to set forth what seems to have been the
general intention of nature, in the different inclinations and
endowments which are bestowed on the different sexes.
But whatever was the reason that man and woman were made with this
variety of temper, if we observe the conduct of the fair sex, we find
that they choose rather to associate themselves with a person who
resembles them in that light and volatile humour which is natural to
them, than to such as are qualified to moderate and counterbalance it.
It has been an old complaint, that the coxcomb carries it with them
before the man of sense. When we see a fellow loud and talkative, full
of insipid life and laughter, we may venture to pronounce him a female
favourite: Noise and flutter are such accomplishments as they cannot
withstand. To be short, the passion of an ordinary woman for a man is
nothing else but self-love diverted upon another object: She would have
the lover a woman in every thing but the sex. I do not know a finer
piece of satire on this part of womankind, than those lines of Mr.
_Dryden_.
_Our thoughtless sex is caught by outward form,
And empty noise, and loves itself in man._
This is a source of infinite calamities to the sex, as it frequently
joins them to men, who in their own thoughts are as fine creatures as
themselves; or, if they chance to be good-humoured, serve only to
dissipate their fortunes, inflame their follies, and aggravate their
indiscretions.
The same female levity is no less fatal to them after marriage than
before: It represents to their imaginations the faithful prudent husband
as an honest, tractable, and domestick animal; and turns their thoughts
upon the fine gay gentleman that laughs, sings, and dresses so much more
agreeably.
As this irregular vivacity of temper leads astray the hearts of ordinary
women in the choice of their lovers and the treatment of their husbands,
it operates with the same pernicious influence towards their children,
who are taught to accomplish themselves in all those sublime perfections
that appear captivating in the eye of their mother. She admires in her
son what she loved in her gallant; and by that means contributes all she
can to perpetuate herself in a worthless progeny.
The younger _Faustina_ was a lively instance of this sort of women.
Notwithstanding she was married to _Marcus Aurelius_, one of the
greatest, wisest, and best of the _Roman_ emperors, she thought a
common gladiator much the prettier gentleman; and had taken such care to
accomplish her son _Commodus_ according to her own notions of a
fine man, that when he ascended the throne of his father, he became the
most foolish and abandoned tyrant that was Jo ever placed at the head of
the _Roman empire_, signalizing himself in nothing but the fighting
of prizes, and knocking out men's brains. As he had no taste of true
glory, we see him in several medals and statues which are still extant
of him, equipped like an _Hercules_ with a club and a lion's skin.
I have been led into this speculation by the characters I have heard of
a country gentleman and his lady, who do not live many miles from Sir
ROGER. The wife is an old coquette, that is always hankering after the
diversions of the town; the husband a morose rustick, that frowns and
frets at the name of it. The wife is over-run with affectation, the
husband sunk into brutality. The lady cannot bear the noise of the larks
and nightingales, hates your tedious summer days, and is sick at the
sight of shady woods and purling streams; the husband wonders how any
one can be pleased with the fooleries of plays and operas, and rails
from morning to night at essenced fops and tawdry courtiers. The
children are educated in these different notions of their parents. The
sons follow the father about his grounds, while the daughters read
volumes of love-letters and romances to their mother. By this means it
comes to pass, that the girls look upon their father as a clown, and the
boys think their mother no better than she should be.
How different are the lives of _Aristus_ and _Aspasia_? the
innocent vivacity of the one is tempered and composed by the chearful
gravity of the other. The wife grows wise by the discourses of the
husband, and the husband good-humoured by the conversations of the wife.
_Aristus_ would not be so amiable were it not for his
_Aspasia_, nor _Aspasia_ so much esteemed were it not for her
_Aristus_. Their virtues are blended in their children, and diffuse
through the whole family a perpetual spirit of benevolence, complacency,
and satisfaction. C.
No. 129. SATURDAY, JULY 28.
_Vertentem sese frustra sectabere canthum,
Cum rota posterior curras & in axe secundo._
PERS. Sat. v. ver. 71.
Thou, like the hindmost chariot-wheels, art curst
Still to be near, but ne'er to be the first.
DRYDEN.
Great masters in painting never care for drawing people in the fashion;
as very well knowing that the head-dress, or periwig, that now prevails,
and gives a grace to their portraitures at present, will make a very odd
figure, and perhaps look monstrous in the eyes of posterity. For this
reason they often represent an illustrious person in a _Roman_
habit, or in some other dress that never varies. I could wish, for the
sake of my country friends, that there was such a kind of _everlasting
drapery_ to be made use of by all who live at a certain distance from
the town, and that they would agree upon such fashions as should never
be liable to changes and innovations. For want of this _standing
dress_, a man who takes a journey into the country is as much
surprised, as one who walks in a gallery of old family pictures; and
finds as great a variety of garbs and habits in the persons he converses
with. Did they keep to one constant dress they would sometimes be in the
fashion, which they never are as matters are managed at present. If
instead of running after the mode, they would continue fixed in one
certain habit, the mode would some time or other overtake them, as a
clock that stands still is sure to point right once in twelve hours: In
this case therefore I would advise them, as a gentleman did his friend
who was hunting about the whole town after a rambling fellow, if you
follow him you will never find him, but if you plant yourself at the
corner of any one street, I'll engage it will not be long before you see
him.
I have already touched upon this subject in a speculation which shows
how cruelly the country are led astray in following the town; and
equipped in a ridiculous habit, when they fancy themselves in the height
of the mode. Since that speculation I have received a letter (which I
there hinted at) from a gentleman who is now in the western circuit.
'Mr. SPECTATOR,
'Being a lawyer of the _Middle-Temple_, a _Cornishman_ by
birth, I generally ride the western circuit for my health, and as I am
not interrupted with clients, have leisure to make many observations
that escape the notice of my fellow-travellers.
'One of the most fashionable women I met with in all the circuit was my
landlady at _Stains_, where I chanced to be on a holiday. Her
commode was not half a foot high, and her petticoat within some yards of
a modish circumference. In the same place I observed a young fellow with
a tolerable periwig, had it not been covered with a hat that was shaped
in the _Ramilie_ cock. As I proceeded in my journey I observed the
petticoat grew scantier and scantier, and about threescore miles from
_London_ was so very unfashionable, that a woman might walk in it
without any manner of inconvenience.
'Not far from _Salisbury_ I took notice of a justice of peace's
lady, who was at least ten years behindhand in her dress, but at the
same time as fine as hands could make her. She was flounced and
furbelowed from head to foot; every ribbon was wrinkled, and every part
of her garments in curl, so that she looked like one of those animals
which in the country we call a _Friezland_ hen.
'Not many miles beyond this place I was informed, that one of the last
year's little muffs had by some means or other straggled into those
parts, and that all the women of fashion were cutting their old muffs in
two, or retrenching them according to the little model which was got
among them. I cannot believe the report they have there, that it was
sent down franked by a parliament-man in a little packet; but probably
by next winter this fashion will be at the height in the country, when
it is quite out at _London_. The greatest beau at our next
county-sessions was dressed in a most monstrous flaxen periwig, that was
made in King _William_'s reign. The wearer of it goes, it seems, in
his own hair, when he is at home, and lets his wig lie in buckle for a
whole half year, that he may put it on upon occasion to meet the judges
in it.
'I must not here omit an adventure which happened to us in a country
church upon the frontiers of _Cornwall_. As we were in the midst of
the service, a lady who is the chief woman of the place, and had passed
the winter at _London_ with her husband, entered the congregation
in a little head-dress, and a hooped petticoat. The people, who were
wonderfully startled at such a sight, all of them rose up. Some stared
at the prodigious bottom and some at the little top of this strange
dress. In the mean time the lady of the manor filled the area of the
church, and walked up to her pew with an unspeakable satisfaction,
amidst the whispers, conjectures, and astonishments of the whole
congregation.
'Upon our way from hence we saw a young fellow riding towards us full
gallop, with a bob-wig and a black silken bag tied to it. He stopt short
at the coach, to ask us how far the judges were behind us. His stay was
so very short, that we had only time to observe his new silk waistcoat,
which was unbuttoned in several places to let us see that he had a clean
shirt on, which was ruffled down to his middle.
'From this place, during our progress through the most western parts of
the kingdom, we fancied ourselves in in King _Charles_ II.'s reign,
the people having made very little variations in their dress since that
time. The smartest of the country squires appear still in the
_Monmouth_ cock, and when they go a wooing (whether they have any
post in the militia or not) they generally put on a red coat. We were
indeed, very much surprised at the place we lay at last night, to meet
with a gentleman that had accoutred himself in a night-cap wig, a coat
with long pockets and slit sleeves, and a pair of shoes with high
scollop tops; but we soon found by his conversation that he was a person
who laughed at the ignorance and rusticity of the country people, and
was resolved to live and die in the mode.
'_Sir_, If you think this account of my travels may be of any
advantage to the public, I will next year trouble you with such
occurrences as I shall meet with in other parts of _England_. For I
am informed there are greater curiosities in the northern circuit than
in the western; and that a fashion makes its progress much slower into
_Cumberland_ than into _Cornwall_. I have heard in particular,
that the Steenkirk arrived but two months ago at _Newcastle_, and
that there are several commodes in those parts which are worth taking a
journey thither to see.' C.
No. 130. MONDAY, JULY 30.
_Semperque recentes
Convectare juvat praedas, et vivere rapto._
VIRG. AEn. vii. ver. 748.
Hunting their sport, and plund'ring was their trade.
DRYDEN.
As I was yesterday riding out in the fields with my friend Sir ROGER, we
saw at a little distance from us a troop of gipsies. Upon the first
discovery of them, my friend was in some doubt whether he should not
exert the _Justice of the Peace_ upon such a band of lawless
vagrants; but not having his clerk with him, who is a necessary
counsellor on these occasions, and fearing that his poultry might fare
the worse for it, he let the thought drop: But at the same time gave me
a particular account of the mischiefs they do in the country, in
stealing people's goods and spoiling their servants. If a stray piece of
linen hangs upon an hedge, says Sir ROGER, they are sure to have it; if
the hog loses his way in the fields, it is ten to one but he becomes
their prey; our geese cannot live in peace for them; if a man prosecutes
them with severity, his henroost is sure to pay for it: They generally
straggle into these parts about this time of the year; and set the heads
of our servant-maids so agog for husbands, that we do not expect to have
any business done as it should be whilst they are in the country. I have
an honest dairymaid who crosses their hands with a piece of silver every
summer, and never fails being promised the handsomest young fellow in
the parish for her pains. Your friend the butler has been fool enough to
be seduced by them; and though he is sure to lose a knife, a fork, or a
spoon every time his fortune is told him, generally shuts himself up in
the pantry with an old gipsy for above half an hour once in a
twelvemonth. Sweethearts are the things they live upon, which they
bestow very plentifully upon all those that apply themselves to them.
You see now and then some handsome young jades among them: The sluts
have very often white teeth and black eyes.
Sir ROGER observing that I listened with great attention to his account
of a people who were so entirely new to me, told me, that if I would
they should tell us our fortunes. As I was very well pleased with the
Knight's proposal, we rid up and communicated our hands to them. A
_Cassandra_ of the crew, after having examined my lines very
diligently, told me, that I loved a pretty maid in a corner, that I was
a good woman's man, with some other particulars which I do not think
proper to relate. My friend Sir ROGER alighted from his horse, and
exposing his palm to two or three that stood by him, they crumpled it
into all shapes, and diligently scanned every wrinkle that could be made
in it; when one of them, who was older and more sunburnt than the rest,
told him, that he had a widow in his line of life: Upon which the Knight
cried, Go, go, you are an idle baggage; and at the same time smiled upon
me. The gipsy finding he was not displeased in his heart, told him,
after a farther inquiry into his hand, that his true-love was constant,
and that she should dream of him to-night: My old friend cried pish, and
bid her go on. The gipsy told him that he was a bachelor, but would not
be so long; and that he was dearer to somebody than he thought: The
Knight still repeated she was an idle baggage, and bid her go on. Ah,
master, says the gipsy, that roguish leer of yours makes a pretty
woman's heart ache; you have not that simper about the mouth for
nothing--The uncouth gibberish with which all this was uttered, like the
darkness of an oracle, made us the more attentive to it. To be short,
the Knight left the money with her that he had crossed her hand with,
and got up again on his horse.
As we were riding away, Sir ROGER told me, that he knew several sensible
people who believed these gipsies now and then foretold very strange
things; and for half an hour together appeared more jocund than
ordinary. In the height of his good-humour, meeting a common beggar upon
the road who was no conjurer, as he went to relieve him he found his
pocket was picked; that being a kind of palmistry at which this race of
vermin are very dexterous.
I might here entertain my reader with historical remarks on this idle
profligate people, who infest all the countries of _Europe_, and
live in the midst of governments in a kind of commonwealth by
themselves. But instead of entering into observations of this nature, I
shall fill the remaining part of my paper with a story which is still
fresh in _Holland_, and was printed in one of our monthly accounts
about twenty years ago. 'As the _Trekschuyt_ or hackney-boat, which
carries passengers from _Leyden_ to _Amsterdam_, was putting
off, a boy running along the side of the canal desired to be taken in;
which the master of the boat refused, because the lad had not quite
money enough to pay the usual fare. An eminent merchant being pleased
with the looks of the boy, and secretly touched with compassion towards
him, paid the money for him, and ordered him to be taken on board. Upon
talking with him afterwards, he found that he could speak readily in
three or four languages, and learned upon further examination that he
had been stolen away when he was a child by a gipsy, and had rambled
ever since with a gang of those strollers up and down several parts of
_Europe_. It happened that the merchant, whose heart seems to have
inclined towards the boy by a secret kind of instinct, had himself lost
a child some years before. The parents, after a long search for him,
gave him for drowned in one of the canals with which that country
abounds; and the mother was so afflicted at the loss of a fine boy, who
was her only son, that she died for grief of it. Upon laying together
all particulars, and examining the several moles and marks by which the
mother used to describe the child when he was first missing, the boy
proved to be the son of the merchant whose heart had so unaccountably
melted at the sight of him. The lad was very well pleased to find a
father who was so rich, and likely to leave him a good estate; the
father on the other hand was not a little delighted to see a son return
to him, whom he had given for lost, with such a strength of
constitution, sharpness of understanding, and skill in languages.' Here
the printed story leaves off; but if I may give credit to reports, our
linguist having received such extraordinary rudiments towards a good
education, was afterwards trained up in every thing that becomes a
gentleman; wearing off by little and little all the vicious habits and
practices that he had been used to in the course of his peregrinations:
Nay, it is said, that he has since been employed in foreign courts upon
national business, with great reputation to himself and honour to those
who sent him, and that he has visited several countries as a public
minister, in which he formerly wandered as a gipsy. C.
No. 131. TUESDAY, JULY 31.
_Ipsae rursum concedite sylvae._
VIRG. Ecl. x. ver. 63.
Once more, ye woods, adieu.