After the burial of Aunt Charlotte, Lesable thought again of the
million, and, tormented by a rage all the more violent because it must
be kept secret, he hated all the world on account of his deplorable
ill-luck. "Why, having been married two years, have I not had a child?" he
asked himself, and the fear of seeing his household remain sterile made
his heart sink. Then, as an urchin who sees from afar the shining prize
at the end of the goal, and swears to himself to attain it, and exerts
all the vigour and tenacity necessary to reach it, so Lesable took the
desperate resolution to become a parent. So many others had, why might
not he also? Perhaps he had been negligent, careless, ignorant of
something, the consequence of complete indifference. Never having felt a
violent desire for an heir, he had never directed all his energies to
obtaining this result. He determined to concentrate all his efforts; he
would neglect nothing, and he must succeed because he so much desired to.
But when he returned home, he felt ill enough to take to his bed. The
disappointment had been too bitter and he bowed himself to the blow.
This nervous strain brought him to such a state that the physician
judged his condition serious enough to prescribe absolute rest as well as
an interminable course of treatment. They feared brain fever. In eight
days, however, he was about again and resumed his work at the office. But
he dare not yet, he believed, approach the conjugal bed. He hesitated and
trembled as a general who is going to give battle, a battle on which
depends his future. Each evening he awaited the next day, hoping for an
access of virility and energy, a happy moment in which he might accomplish
his desire. He felt his pulse every minute, and if it was too feeble or
too rapid, he took a tonic, ate raw meat, and strengthened himself in
every possible way. As his improvement was not very rapid, Lesable
determined to pass the hot months in the country. He persuaded himself
that the country air would be a sovereign balm for his weakness, and he
assured himself of the accomplishment of the hoped-for success. He said
to his father-in-law, in a confidential tone: "When we are once in the
country my health will improve, and all will go well." That one word
"country" seemed to carry for him a mysterious significance.
They rented a small house in the village of Bezons, and the whole
family took up their residence there. The two men started out on foot
every morning for the station of Colombes, returning in the evening.
Cora, enchanted at living thus on the banks of the peaceful river,
would seat herself on the sward, gather flowers, and bring home great
bunches of delicate, trembling ferns.
Every evening they all three walked along the river as far as the
tollgate of Morue, and, entering, drank a bottle of beer at the Restaurant
des Tilleuls. The river, retarded by the long file of stakes, poured
between them and leaped, bubbled, and foamed for the distance of a hundred
feet. The roaring of the falls made the ground tremble, while a fine mist
of vapour floated in the air, rising from the cascade like a light smoke,
throwing on the surroundings a delightful odour of spray and a savour
of wet earth. As night fell, a great light below and in front indicated
Paris, and Cachelin exclaimed every evening: "What a city, after all!"
From time to time, a train, passing on the iron bridge which crossed
the end of the island, made a rolling as of thunder and suddenly
disappeared, sometimes to the left, sometimes to the right, toward
Paris or toward the sea. They returned home slowly, seating themselves on
the bank, watching the moon rise and pour on the river her soft and yellow
light, which seemed to fuse with the water, and the wrinkles of the
current moved like waves of fire. The toads uttered their short and
metallic cries. The calls of the night birds rang out on the air, and
sometimes a large, mute shadow glided on the river, troubling her calm and
luminous course. It was a band of freebooters who, throwing in suddenly
their net, drew it back without noise into their boat, dragging in its
vast and sombre mesh a shoal of shining and trembling gudgeons, like a
treasure drawn from the bottom of the sea, a living treasure of silver
fish.
Cora, deeply moved, leaned tenderly upon the arm of her husband, whose
design she suspected, although nothing of it had been spoken between
them. It was for them like a new betrothal, a second expectation of the
kiss of love. Sometimes he would bestow a furtive caress behind her ear,
on that charming spot of tender flesh where curls the first hair. She
responded by a pressure of the hand, and they attracted while refusing
each other, incited and held back by a will more energetic, by the phantom
of the million. Cachelin, appeased by the hope which he felt around him,
was happy. He drank deeply and ate much, feeling, born in him at twilight,
the hour of poetry, that foolish tenderness which comes to the dullest
persons in certain aspects of nature: a rain of light through the
branches, a sunset behind the distant hills, with purple reflections on
the water. He declared: "As for me, in the presence of such things I
believe in God. It touches me here," and he indicated the pit of his
stomach. "I feel myself turned upside down. I feel queer. It seems to me
I have been steeped in a bath which makes me want to cry."
As for Lesable, his health rapidly improved. He was seized with sudden
ardours, which he did not understand, and he felt a desire to run like
a young colt, to roll in the grass and neigh with delight.
He thought the favoured time was approaching. It was a true wedding
night. Then they had a new-honeymoon full of caresses and hopes. Later
they perceived that their experiments were fruitless and their confidence
was in vain.
But in the midst of despair Lesable did not lose courage; he continued
to make the most superhuman efforts. His wife, moved by the same desire
and trembling with the same fear, more robust too than he, encouraged him
in his attempts and stimulated his flagging ardour. They returned to Paris
in the early days of October.
Life became hard for them again. Unkind words fell from their lips, and
Cachelin, who scented the situation, harassed them with the coarse and
venomous epigrams of an old trooper.
And one incessant thought pursued them, tortured them, and sharpened
their mutual rancour--that of the unattainable legacy. Cora now carried
a sharp tongue, and lashed her husband. She treated him like a little boy,
a mere brat, a man of no importance. Cachelin at every meal repeated: "If
I were rich, I should have children in plenty; when one is poor it is
necessary to be reasonable." Then turning to his daughter he added: "You
must be like me; but there--" and he looked at his son-in-law
significantly, accompanying the look with a movement of the shoulders full
of contempt.
Lesable made no reply. He felt himself to be a superior man allied to
a family of boors.
At the Ministry they noticed the alteration in his manner, and even the
chief one day asked him: "Are you not ill? You appear to me to be somewhat
changed."
Lesable replied: "Not at all, my dear sir. I am a little tired, perhaps,
having worked very constantly, as you may have seen."
He counted very surely on his promotion at the end of the year, and he
had resumed, in this hope, the laborious life of a model employee. But
among the meagre bonuses that were distributed Lesable's was the smallest
of all, and Cachelin received nothing. Struck to the heart, Lesable sought
the chief, whom, for the first time, he addressed as "Monsieur."
"Of what use is it, Monsieur, to work as I do, if I do not reap any
reward?"
The head of Monsieur Torchebeuf appeared to bristle.
"I have already told you. Monsieur Lesable, that I will admit of no
discussion of this nature between us. I repeat to you again that your
claim is unreasonable, your actual fortune being so great as compared
to the poverty of your colleagues--"
Lesable could not contain himself. "But I have nothing, Monsieur. Our
aunt has left her fortune to the first child which shall be born of our
marriage. We live, my father-in-law and I, on our salaries."
The chief was greatly surprised. "If you have no fortune to-day, you
will be rich, in any case, at some future day. It amounts to the same
thing."
Lesable withdrew, more cast down by his failure than by the uncertainty
of Aunt Charlotte's million.
As Cachelin came to his desk some days later the handsome Maze entered
with a smile on his lips; next Pitolet appeared, his eyes shining; then
Boissel opened the door, and advanced with an excited air, tittering and
exchanging meaning looks with the others. Old Savon continued his copying,
his clay pipe in the corner of his mouth, seated on his high chair, his
feet twisted about the rounds after the fashion of little boys. Nobody
spoke. They seemed to be waiting for something, and Cachelin continued
to register his papers, announcing in a loud voice according to his
custom: "Toulon: Furniture for the officers of the Richelieu. Lorient:
Diving apparatus for the Desaix. Brest: Samples of sails of English
manufacture."
Lesable entered. He came now every morning for information in regard
to the affairs which concerned him, his father-in-law no longer taking the
trouble to send him instructions by the office boy.
While he was looking amongst the papers spread out on the table of the
chief-clerk, Maze watched him from his corner, rubbing his hands, and
Pitolet, who was rolling a cigarette, seemed full of mirth he could not
control. He turned toward the copying-clerk:
"Say now, papa Savon, you have learned many things in your time,
haven't you?"
The old man, knowing they meant to tease him and to speak to him of
his wife, did not reply.
Pitolet began: "You must have discovered the secret of begetting
children, since you have had several."
The old clerk raised his head. "You know, M. Pitolet, that I do like
any joking on this subject. I have had the misfortune to marry an unworthy
woman, and when I became convinced of her faithlessness I separated from
her."
Maze asked in an indifferent tone: "You have had several proofs of her
infidelity, have you not?"