CARDINAL MANNING, apparently having been invited by its author to
express an opinion upon Mr. WM. O'BRIEN'S "_When we were Boys_,"
writes:--"When I got to the end, I forgot the book, and would only
think of Ireland--its manifest sufferings, and its inextricable
sorrows." His Eminence then continues:--"I hope to see the day break,
and I hope you will see the noontide, when the people of Ireland will
be readmitted, so far as is possible, to the possession of their own
soil, and shall be admitted, so far as is possible, to the making and
administration of their own local laws, while they shall still share
in the legislation which governs and consolidates the Empire. Then
_Ken_ and _Mabel_ shall be no more parted."
No doubt this excellent critique will be followed by the publication
of letters somewhat similar to the following:--
DEAR MR. APPLES,--I promised to write to you after I had used
your Soap. When I had finished washing my hands, I forgot
everything but gallant little Wales. I hope to see the
morning, and trust you will see the evening, of that time when
the bold sun of freedom will shine over a land true to itself,
as far as possible, and rejoicing in the name of the country
without stain. Then will we all say, "Good afternoon,"
followed by the customary inquiry. Believe me,
Always yours very faithfully, W. E. GL-DST-NE.
Should this mode of criticism be extended, the benefit to those who
have to review without knowing what to say will be obvious.
* * * * *
A New Heading of an Old Epitaph.
"A remarkable coincidence has attended the drawings of two of
the principal Club Derby Sweepstakes. As we stated yesterday,
the Garrick Club Sweepstakes, of the value of L300, has fallen
to Mr. HENRY IRVING. We now learn that Mr. TOOLE benefits to
the extent of L75 out of the Sweepstakes of the Devonshire
Club."--_Daily News._
LOVELY in Life, they were Both There when the Sweepstakes were
Divided.
* * * * *
[Illustration: A SEVERE SENTENCE.
_She._ "YES, DEAR, I'M AFRAID COOK WANTS JUDGMENT." _He._ "_JUDGMENT!_
SHE WANTS _EXECUTION!_"]
* * * * *
"THREE FISHERS."
THREE fishers went fishing North-east and North-west
(Like the trio from Kingsley familiarly known).
Each thought himself, doubtless, the bravest and best,
And held the good "swims" should be mainly his own.
There was JOHNNY the Briton, and FRANCOIS the Frank,
And JONATHAN also, the artful young Yank,
An expert at "bouncing" and "boning."
And FRANCOIS the Frank, who went fishing for cod,
Nicked lobsters as well, and he stuck to them too;
He declared they were all the same thing, which seemed odd,
The result being anger and hullaballoo,
And rows about Bounties, and shines about Bait;
For ructions all round are as certain as fate,
When parties go "bouncing" and "boning."
And JONATHAN, well, _he_ went fishing for seals,
And he wanted the fishing grounds all to himself.
When the Russ had done ditto, the Yank had raised squeals
(How consistency's floored in the struggle for pelf!)
And JONATHAN took a most high-handed course;
For greediness mostly falls back on brute force,
When parties go "bouncing" and "boning."
And JOHNNY the Briton, a sturdy old salt,
Had been a sea-grabber himself in his time;
Some held that monopoly still was his fault,
Others swore that his modesty verged upon crime,
Nor is it quite easy to say which was true,
For so much depends on a man's point of view,
When parties go "bouncing" and "boning."
But when JOHNNY the Briton caught sight of the Frank
Making tracks with a lobster--the whoppingest one--
And when he perceived the impertinent Yank
With the seal--such a spanker!--skedaddling like fun,
He stood and he shouted, "Stop thief! Hi! Hold hard!"
For language does not always "go by the card,"
When parties go "bouncing" and "boning."
"Now then, you sea-grabbers," he bellowed, "Belay!
I suppose you imagine I'm out of it quite.
But you're not going to have it just all your own way.
Fair dues! my dear boys. After all, right is right!
Big Behring is no _mare clausum_, young Yank,
And cold Newfoundland is not _yours_, my fine Frank,
In spite of your 'bouncing' and 'boning.'"
Well, he of the Lobster and he of the Seal
Have rights of their own, which old JOHN won't deny.
But _he_ has some too, and _Punch_ hopes they will feel
That they should not grab his, and had better not try.
Some _modus vivendi_ no doubt can be found,
To make the Three Fishers quite friendly all round,
And good-bye to all "bouncing" and "boning!"
* * * * *