THE attention of statisticians has lately been directed to a question
of no little interest. To put it as shortly as possible, the point is
to discover the number and size of the mayonnaises of lobster consumed
in the course of one evening in the district bounded on the east by
Berkeley Square, and extending westward as far as Earl's Court. It is
well-known that no lobster ever walked backwards. Taking this as the
basis of our calculations and assuming that [Greek: pi]^{n_1} is
equal to the digestive apparatus of six hundred dowagers, we reach
the surprising total of 932,146-1/8 lobsters. No allowance is made for
dressing or returned empties.
* * * * *
"A Poet" writes to us as follows:--"I have long been puzzled by
the difficulty attending the proper construction of rhymed verse in
English. Some words possess many rhymes, others only a few, others
again none. Yet I find that the temptation to end a line with a
non-rhyme-possessing word like 'month' is almost irresistible, and
frequently gives rise to the most painful results. In the course of my
emotional ballad entitled, '_The Bard's Daughter_,' I was compelled on
an average to kill half-a-dozen German bands every day, and to throw
ten jam-pots at my butler for unseasonable interruptions. Can any of
your readers help me?"
* * * * *
A flight of ducks was observed to settle on the Serpentine yesterday
at four o'clock exactly. They had been moving in a westerly direction.
The Park-keepers explain this curious incident by the well-known
affection of these birds for water, combined with an occasional
impulse to aerial navigation, but the explanation appears to us
inadequate.
* * * * *
In Vienna the other day, a Cabman was observed to claim more than his
fare from an elderly lady, whom he afterwards abused violently in the
choicest Austrian for refusing to comply with his demands. After all,
the nature of Cabmen all over the world varies very little. Elderly
Ladies too, are much the same.
* * * * *
Mr. STANLEY continues to attend dances, dinners and receptions at
the usual hours. He has lately expressed himself in strong terms with
regard to the action of a friendly Power on the continent of Africa.
Mr. STANLEY appears to think very lightly of the Foreign Office
pigeon-holes, in which his treaties have been stored in the meantime.
* * * * *
[Illustration: A DOUBTFUL COMPLIMENT.
_Sympathetic Spinster._ "AND IS YOUR OTHER BOY AT ALL LIKE THIS ONE?"
_Proud Mother._ "OH, NO; QUITE A CONTRAST TO HIM!"
_Sympathetic Spinster._ "HOW NICE!"]
* * * * *