"BILL," said BOBO, one winter twilight, by the smoking-room fire, after
her fourteenth cigarette, "I want you to run away with me."
"Rot," answered BILL.
"Yes, I do. I've ordered the carriage for half-past ten this evening. We
shall catch the mail to Euston."
"You won't catch this male," said BILL. "No, BOBO, you're very good
fun--in your own house, but I don't want you in mine. You are distinctly
BOBO, but that's all. It isn't enough to live upon. It won't pay rent
and taxes."
"You're a cur."
"No, I'm trying to be a gentleman. Besides, what's the matter with
COKALEEK? Hasn't he millions, and a charming house in the heart of the
collieries?"
"He's all that's delightful, only I happen to hate him. Directly I leave
off chaffing him I begin to think of arsenic, and, brilliant as I am, I
can't coruscate all day. It's very mean of you not to want to elope."
"I daresay; but I'm the only rational being in the book, and I want to
sustain my character."
CHAPTER THE LAST.
BOBO stayed, and BILL went in the carriage that had been ordered for the
elopement; and then there happened an incident so rare in the realms of
fiction that it has stamped my novel at once and for ever as the work of
an original mind.
COKALEEK, the noble, unappreciated husband, got himself killed in the
hunting-field. He went out with BOBO one morning, and she came home, a
little earlier than usual, without him, and smoked cigarettes by the
fire, while he stayed out in the dusk and just meekly rolled over a
hedge, with his horse uppermost. He wasn't like GUY LIVINGSTONE; he
wasn't a bit like dozens of heroes of French novels, who have died the
same kind of death. He was just as absolutely COKALEEK as his wife was
BOBO.
And did BILL marry BOBO, or BOBO BILL?
Not she! Another woman might have done it--but not BOBO. She knew too
well what the intelligent reader expected of her; so she jilted BILL, in
a thoroughly cold-blooded and BOBO-ish manner, and got herself married
to an Austrian Prince at half-an-hour's notice, by special licence from
the A. of C.
* * * * *
[Illustration: FOLLOWING THE EXAMPLE OF MR. GLADSTONE AND MR. GOSCHEN,
MR. PUNCH VISITS EDINBURGH.]
* * * * *
LE PREUX CHEVALIER ENCORE!--After a little dinner at FRASCATI'S, which
is still "going strong," we paid a visit to the Renovated and Enlarged
Royal Music Hall, Holborn, and were soon convinced that the best things
Mr. ALBERT CHEVALIER has yet done are the coster songs, not to be
surpassed, including the "_Little Nipper_," in which is just the one
touch of Nature that makes the whole audience sympathetically
costermongerish. "_My Old Dutch_" was good, but lacking in dramatic
power, and the latest one "_The Lullaby_," sung by a coster to his
"biby" in the cradle, wouldn't be worth much if it weren't for Mr.
CHEVALIER'S reputation as a genuine comedian. It is good, but not equal
to the "_Little Nipper_." "Full to-night," I observed to Lord ARTHUR
SWANBOROUGH, who is Generalissimo of the forces "in front" of the house.
"Yes," replies his Lordship, casually, "it's like this every night.
Highly respectable everywhere. Only got to have in a preacher, we'd
supply the choristers, and you'd think it was a service--or something
like it."
* * *
BY OUR OWN PHILOSOPHER.--Woe to him of whom all men speak well! And woe
to that seaside or inland country place for which no one has anything
but praise. It soon becomes the fashion; its natural beauties vanish;
the artificial comes in. Nature abhors a vacuum; so does the builder.
Yet Nature creates vacuums and refills them; so does the builder. Nature
is all things to all men; but the builder has his price. Man, being a
landed proprietor and a sportsman, preserves; but he also destroys, and
the more he preserves so much the more does he destroy. Nature gives
birth and destroys. Self-preservation is Nature's first law, and game
preservation is the sporting landlord's first law.
* * *
PAIN IN PROSPECT.--Says AUGUSTUS DRURIOLANUS (_Advertiscus_), "_A Life
of Pleasure_ will last until it is crowded out by the Christmas
pantomime." Epigramatically, our DRURIOLANUS might have said, "_A Life
of Pleasure_ will last till the first appearance of PAYNE."
* * *
"TAKE MY BEN'SON!"--"_Don't! Don't!_" a moral antidotal story as a
sequel to "_Dodo_."
* * *
A VERY BAD "SCUTTLE POLICY."--The Coal Strike.
* * * * *
[Illustration: Allan à Daly, Robin Hood's Chief Forester.]
A DALY DREAM.
If it be true that "a thing of beauty is a joy for ever," then _The
Foresters_ at Daly's Theatre ought to have a good run, instead of being
limited to a certain number of representations. Rarely has a scene of
more fairy-like beauty been placed on the stage than _Maid Marian's_
dream in Sherwood Forest. The peculiar light in which the fairies appear
gives a marvellous elfinesque effect to the woodland surroundings. Sir
ARTHUR SULLIVAN'S music, too, may be reckoned as among some of his
happiest efforts, and the gay Savoyard (who has only one rival, and he
is at the Savoy) is fortunate in such principals as the _First Fairy_,
Miss GASTON MURRAY, and Miss HASWELL as _Titania_. The Fairy Chorus and
the Forester Chorus are remarkably efficient. Mr. LLOYD DAUBIGNY as
_Young Scarlet_ the Outlaw, is bright both as tenor and actor. Mr.
BOURCHIER is an easy-going representative of the EARL OF HUNTINGDON,
with just enough suggestion of "divilment" in his face to account for
his so readily and naturally taking to robbery as a profession.
As _Maid Marian_, Miss ADA REHAN is at once dignified yet playful, and
as Tennysonianly captivating in her boy's clothes (there were ready-made
tailors to hand in the days of ISAAC of York), which is of course "_a
suit of male_," as she is when, as _Rosalind_, she delights us in her
doublet and hose. Fortunate is Tailor-_Maid Marian_ to obtain a
situation in the country where so many "followers are allowed"! _Little
John_, _Will Scarlet_, _Old Much_ who does little, but that little well,
with many others, make up the aforesaid "followers," who are of course
very fond of chasing every little dear they see among the greenwood
trees. Miss CATHERINE LEWIS as _Kate_, with a song, one of Sir ARTHUR'S
extra good ones, about a Bee (is it in the key of "B," for Sir ARTHUR
dearly loves a merrie jest?), obtained a hearty encore on the first
night. Not only her singing of the bee song is good, but her
stage-buzzyness is excellent.
Mr. HANN'S ('ARRY thinks there's a "lady scene-painter 'ere, and her
name is HANN") and Mr. RYAN'S scenery is first-rate; and if the business
of the fighting were more realistic, if the three Friars were a trifle
less pantomimic, and the three grotesquely-got-up beggars (worthy of
CALLOT'S pencil) would aim at being less actively funny, with one or two
other "ifs," including _Friar Tuck's_ general make-up which might be
vastly improved, and if the last Act were shortened, and the Abbot and
the Sheriff and the Justiciary were compressed into one, or
abolished,--any of which alterations may have been effected by now,
seeing the piece was produced just a week ago,--then the attractions of
_Maid Marian_ and the fairy scene and the music are of themselves
sufficient to draw all lovers of the poetic musical drama to Daly's for
some weeks to come, unless Mr. DALY clips the run with the scissors of
managerial fate,
"For be it understood
It would have lived much longer if it could,"
and so banishes his own outlaws from the elegant and commodious theatre
in Leicester Square.
[Illustration: The Villain of the Piece.]
* * *
NEW NOVEL.--"_The Mackerel of the Dean_," by the author of
"_The Soul of the Bishop_."
* * * * *
Transcriber Notes:
Passages in italics were indicated by _underscores_.
Small caps were replaced with ALL CAPS.
Throughout the document, the oe ligature was replaced with "oe".
Throughout the dialogues, there were words used to mimic accents of
the speakers. Those words were retained as-is.
Errors in punctuations and inconsistent hyphenation were not corrected
unless otherwise noted.
On page 178, "cubbing" was replaced with "clubbing".