"It's all right," she said presently. "After all, if there is anything
wrong with the child, I'd rather Hugh didn't think it came from him."
She had now another fear. It made her very tender to Brodrick when,
coming to him in the drawing-room after their guests had departed, she
found him communing earnestly with Gertrude. A look passed between them
as she entered.
"Well, what are you two putting your heads together about?" she said.
Gertrude's head drew back as if a charge had been brought against it.
"Well," said Brodrick, "it was about the child. Something must be done.
You can't go on like this."
She seated herself. Her very silence implied that she was all attention.
"It's bad for him and it's bad for you."
"What's bad for him?"
"The way you've given yourself up to him. There's no moderation about
your methods."
"If there had been," said she, "he wouldn't be alive now."
"Yes, yes, I know that. But he's all right now. He doesn't want that
perpetual attention. It's ruining him. He thinks he's only got to scream
loud enough for anything and he gets it. Every time he screams you rush
to him. It's preposterous."
Jane listened.
"The fact is," said Brodrick, bracing himself, "you have him too much
with you."
"I _must_ have him with me."
"You mustn't," said Brodrick, with his forced gentleness.
"You think I'm bad for him?"
He did not answer.
"Gertrude--do _you_ think I'm bad for him?"
Gertrude smiled. She did not answer any more than Brodrick.
"Miss Collett agrees with me," said Brodrick.
"She always does. What do I do to him?"
"You excite him."
"Do I, Gertrude?"
Gertrude's face seemed to be imploring Brodrick to be pitiful, and not
to rub it in.
"Do I?"
"The child," said Gertrude evasively, "is very sensitive."
"And you create," Brodrick said, "an atmosphere----"
"A what?"
"An atmosphere of perpetual agitation--of emotion----"
"You mean my child is fond of me."
"Much too fond of you. It's playing the devil with him."
"Poor mite--at _his_ age! Well--what do you propose?"
"I propose that he should be with somebody who hasn't that effect, who
can keep him quiet. Miss Collett very kindly offered----"
"Dear Gertrude, you can't. You've got your hands full."
"Not so full that they can't hold a little more." Gertrude said it with
extreme sweetness.
"Can they hold Hughy?"
"They've held Jacky," said Brodrick, "for the last year. _He_ never
gives any trouble."
"He never feels it. Poor Baby has got nerves----"
"Well, my dear girl, isn't it all the more reason why he should be with
somebody who hasn't got 'em?"
"Poor Gertrude, she'll have more nerves than any of us if she has to
look after the house, and the accounts, and Jacky, and Hughy, and
_you_----"
"She doesn't look after me," said Brodrick stiffly, and left the room.
Jane turned to Gertrude.
"Was that your idea, or his?"
"How can any idea be mine," said Gertrude, "if I always agree with Mr.
Brodrick? As a matter of fact it was the Doctor's."
"Yes. It was very like him."
"He spoke to Mr. Brodrick yesterday. And I am glad he did."
"Why are you glad?"
"Because it was taken out of my hands. I don't want you to think that I
interfere, that I put myself forward, that I suggested this arrangement
about the children. If it's to be, you must understand distinctly that I
and my ideas and my wishes have nothing to do with it. If I offered
myself it was because I was compelled. Mr. Brodrick was at his wits'
end."
("Poor dear, _I_ drove him there," said Jane.)
"It's put me in a very difficult position. I have to appear to be taking
everything on myself, to be thrusting myself in everywhere, whereas the
truth is I can only keep on" (she closed her eyes, as one dizzied with
the perilous path she trod) "by ignoring myself, putting myself
altogether on one side."
"Do you hate it?" Jane said softly.
"No. It's the only way. But sometimes one is foolish--one looks for a
little recognition and reward----"
Jane put her hands on the other woman's shoulders and gazed into her
face.
"We do recognize you," she said, "even if we don't reward you. How can
we, when you've done so much?"
"My reward would be--not to be misunderstood."
"Do I misunderstand you? Does _he_?"
"Mr. Brodrick? Never."
"I, then?"
"You? I think you thought I wanted to come between you and the
children."
"I never thought you wanted to come between me and anything."
Her hands that held her dropped.
"But you're right, Gertrude. I'm a brute and you're an angel."
She turned from her and left her there.