CHAWTON, Tuesday (July 29, 1817).
MY DEAREST FANNY,--I have just read your letter for the third time, and
thank you most sincerely for every kind expression to myself, and still
more warmly for your praises of her who I believe was better known to
you than to any human being besides myself. Nothing of the sort could
have been more gratifying to me than the manner in which you write of
her; and if the dear angel is conscious of what passes here, and is not
above all earthly feelings, she may perhaps receive pleasure in being so
mourned. Had she been the survivor, I can fancy her speaking of you in
almost the same terms. There are certainly many points of strong
resemblance in your characters; in your intimate acquaintance with each
other, and your mutual strong affection, you were counterparts.
Thursday was not so dreadful a day to me as you imagined. There was so
much necessary to be done that there was no time for additional misery.
Everything was conducted with the greatest tranquillity, and but that I
was determined I would see the last, and therefore was upon the listen,
I should not have known when they left the house. I watched the little
mournful procession the length of the street; and when it turned from my
sight, and I had lost her forever, even then I was not overpowered, nor
so much agitated as I am now in writing of it. Never was human being
more sincerely mourned by those who attended her remains than was this
dear creature. May the sorrow with which she is parted with on earth be
a prognostic of the joy with which she is hailed in heaven!
I continue very tolerably well,--much better than any one could have
supposed possible, because I certainly have had considerable fatigue of
body as well as anguish of mind for months back; but I really am well,
and I hope I am properly grateful to the Almighty for having been so
supported. Your grandmamma, too, is much better than when I came home.
I did not think your dear papa appeared unwell, and I understand that he
seemed much more comfortable after his return from Winchester than he
had done before. I need not tell you that he was a great comfort to me;
indeed, I can never say enough of the kindness I have received from him
and from every other friend.
I get out of doors a good deal, and am able to employ myself. Of course
those employments suit me best which leave me most at leisure to think
of her I have lost, and I do think of her in every variety of
circumstance,--in our happy hours of confidential intercourse, in the
cheerful family party which she so ornamented, in her sick-room, on her
death-bed, and as (I hope) an inhabitant of heaven. Oh, if I may one day
be reunited to her there! I know the time must come when my mind will be
less engrossed by her idea, but I do not like to think of it. If I think
of her less as on earth, God grant that I may never cease to reflect on
her as inhabiting heaven, and never cease my humble endeavors (when it
shall please God) to join her there.
In looking at a few of the precious papers which are now my property I
have found some memorandums, amongst which she desires that one of her
gold chains may be given to her god-daughter Louisa, and a lock of her
hair be set for you. You can need no assurance, my dearest Fanny, that
every request of your beloved aunt will be sacred with me. Be so good as
to say whether you prefer a brooch or ring. God bless you, my dearest
Fanny.
Believe me, most affectionately yours,
CASS. ELIZTH. AUSTEN.
Miss KNIGHT,
Godmersham Park, Canterbury.