STEVENTON, Tuesday (January 8, 1799).
MY DEAR CASSANDRA,--You must read your letters over _five_ times in
future before you send them, and then, perhaps, you may find them as
entertaining as I do. I laughed at several parts of the one which I am
now answering.
Charles is not come yet, but he must come this morning, or he shall
never know what I will do to him. The ball at Kempshott is this evening,
and I have got him an invitation, though I have not been so considerate
as to get him a partner. But the cases are different between him and
Eliza Bailey, for he is not in a dying way, and may therefore be equal
to getting a partner for himself. I believe I told you that Monday was
to be the ball night, for which, and for all other errors into which I
may ever have led you, I humbly ask your pardon.
Elizabeth is very cruel about my writing music, and, as a punishment for
her, I should insist upon always writing out all hers for her in future,
if I were not punishing myself at the same time.
I am tolerably glad to hear that Edward's income is so good a one,--as
glad as I can be at anybody's being rich except you and me,--and I am
thoroughly rejoiced to hear of his present to you.
I am not to wear my white satin cap to-night, after all; I am to wear a
mamalone cap instead, which Charles Fowle sent to Mary, and which she
lends me. It is all the fashion now; worn at the opera, and by Lady
Mildmays at Hackwood balls. I hate describing such things, and I dare
say you will be able to guess what it is like. I have got over the
dreadful epocha of mantua-making much better than I expected. My gown is
made very much like my blue one, which you always told me sat very well,
with only these variations: the sleeves are short, the wrap fuller, the
apron comes over it, and a band of the same completes the whole.
I assure you that I dread the idea of going to Brighton as much as you
do, but I am not without hopes that something may happen to prevent it.
F---- has lost his election at B----, and perhaps they may not be able
to see company for some time. They talk of going to Bath, too, in the
spring, and perhaps they may be overturned in their way down, and all
laid up for the summer.
_Wednesday._--I have had a cold and weakness in one of my eyes for some
days, which makes writing neither very pleasant nor very profitable, and
which will probably prevent my finishing this letter myself. My mother
has undertaken to do it for me, and I shall leave the Kempshott ball for
her.
You express so little anxiety about my being murdered under Ash Park
Copse by Mrs. Hulbert's servant, that I have a great mind not to tell
you whether I was or not, and shall only say that I did not return home
that night or the next, as Martha kindly made room for me in her bed,
which was the shut-up one in the new nursery. Nurse and the child slept
upon the floor, and there we all were in some confusion and great
comfort. The bed did exceedingly well for us, both to lie awake in and
talk till two o'clock, and to sleep in the rest of the night. I love
Martha better than ever, and I mean to go and see her, if I can, when
she gets home. We all dined at the Harwoods' on Thursday, and the party
broke up the next morning.
This complaint in my eye has been a sad bore to me, for I have not been
able to read or work in any comfort since Friday; but one advantage
will be derived from it, for I shall be such a proficient in music by
the time I have got rid of my cold, that I shall be perfectly qualified
in that science at least to take Mr. Roope's office at Eastwell next
summer; and I am sure of Elizabeth's recommendation, be it only on
Harriet's account. Of my talent in drawing I have given specimens in my
letters to you, and I have nothing to do but to invent a few hard names
for the stars.
Mary grows rather more reasonable about her child's beauty, and says
that she does not think him really handsome; but I suspect her
moderation to be something like that of W---- W----'s mamma. Perhaps
Mary has told you that they are going to enter more into dinner-parties;
the Biggs and Mr. Holder dine there to-morrow, and I am to meet them. I
shall sleep there. Catherine has the honor of giving her name to a set,
which will be composed of two Withers, two Heathcotes, a Blackford, and
no Bigg except herself. She congratulated me last night on Frank's
promotion, as if she really felt the joy she talked of.
My sweet little George! I am delighted to hear that he has such an
inventive genius as to face-making. I admired his yellow wafer very
much, and hope he will choose the wafer for your next letter. I wore my
green shoes last night, and took my white fan with me; I am very glad he
never threw it into the river.
Mrs. Knight giving up the Godmersham estate to Edward was no such
prodigious act of generosity after all, it seems, for she has reserved
herself an income out of it still; this ought to be known, that her
conduct may not be overrated. I rather think Edward shows the most
magnanimity of the two, in accepting her resignation with such
incumbrances.
The more I write, the better my eye gets; so I shall at least keep on
till it is quite well, before I give up my pen to my mother.
Mrs. Bramston's little movable apartment was tolerably filled last night
by herself, Mrs. H. Blackstone, her two daughters, and me. I do not like
the Miss Blackstones; indeed, I was always determined not to like them,
so there is the less merit in it. Mrs. Bramston was very civil, kind,
and noisy. I spent a very pleasant evening, chiefly among the Manydown
party. There was the same kind of supper as last year, and the same want
of chairs. There were more dancers than the room could conveniently
hold, which is enough to constitute a good ball at any time.
I do not think I was very much in request. People were rather apt not to
ask me till they could not help it; one's consequence, you know, varies
so much at times without any particular reason. There was one gentleman,
an officer of the Cheshire, a very good-looking young man, who, I was
told, wanted very much to be introduced to me; but as he did not want
it quite enough to take much trouble in effecting it, we never could
bring it about.
I danced with Mr. John Wood again, twice with a Mr. South, a lad from
Winchester, who, I suppose, is as far from being related to the bishop
of that diocese as it is possible to be, with G. Lefroy, and J. Harwood,
who, I think, takes to me rather more than he used to do. One of my
gayest actions was sitting down two dances in preference to having Lord
Bolton's eldest son for my partner, who danced too ill to be endured.
The Miss Charterises were there, and played the parts of the Miss Edens
with great spirit. Charles never came. Naughty Charles! I suppose he
could not get superseded in time.
Miss Debary has replaced your two sheets of drawing-paper with two of
superior size and quality; so I do not grudge her having taken them at
all now. Mr. Ludlow and Miss Pugh of Andover are lately married, and so
is Mrs. Skeete of Basingstoke, and Mr. French, chemist, of Reading.
I do not wonder at your wanting to read "First Impressions" again, so
seldom as you have gone through it, and that so long ago. I am much
obliged to you for meaning to leave my old petticoat behind you. I have
long secretly wished it might be done, but had not courage to make the
request.
Pray mention the name of Maria Montresor's lover when you write next. My
mother wants to know it, and I have not courage to look back into your
letters to find it out.
I shall not be able to send this till to-morrow, and you will be
disappointed on Friday; I am very sorry for it, but I cannot help it.
The partnership between Jeffereys, Toomer, and Legge is dissolved; the
two latter are melted away into nothing, and it is to be hoped that
Jeffereys will soon break, for the sake of a few heroines whose money he
may have. I wish you joy of your birthday twenty times over.
I shall be able to send this to the post to-day, which exalts me to the
utmost pinnacle of human felicity, and makes me bask in the sunshine of
prosperity or gives me any other sensation of pleasure in studied
language which you may prefer. Do not be angry with me for not filling
my sheet, and believe me yours affectionately,