LADY ESTELLE'S STORY.
Looking at Lady Estelle, Earle saw that her face had grown very pale,
and her hands trembled. It was so strange for him, on this beautiful,
sunlit morning, to find himself seated by this pale, high-bred lady. The
sun shone through the thick, green branches, and the light fell in
slanting rays on the greensward; the birds sang gaily in the trees--the
sweet, pitiless birds, who sing whether we are in sorrow or joy; the
wild-flowers raised their beautiful heads, so fair and delicate, so
fragile and sweet; there was no distress in nature.
"Dear Lady Hereford," he said, "spare yourself. You do not like to tell
me this story--why do it?"
"I must," she said. "Never mind the pain for me; the pain has been
greater in bearing it for twenty years than it is now in the telling of
it. Looking at me, Earle Moray, can you imagine what I was twenty years
ago?"
"Yes," he said, gently, "I can imagine it. Time does not dim and line a
face like yours. I can see you now as you were then."
"The lightest heart--ah, me! the happiest girl--there was not one so
happy! Proud, because every one told me how much I had to be proud of. I
was beautiful, and the Duke of Downsbury's only daughter. What people
call high prizes in this world ought to have been mine. Listen to what I
have won. At eighteen I made my _debut_ in the great world, and before I
had even time to look round me, I had a number of lovers and admirers,
thanks to the prestige of my father's name. I had more offers during the
first season than falls to the lot of most young ladies. There was not
one among the crowd of admirers for whom I cared; none interested me,
none touched me. Young as I was, I longed for something that I did not
find. I had great ideas of the happiness and sanctity of love. In this
new world I heard but little of it. People talked of diamonds,
opera-boxes, country-houses, pin-money, settlements; but I heard little
of love. I had firmly resolved in my own mind that when I married it
should be for love alone. I had everything else--rank, title, wealth,
position. I wanted love. One great man after another--great according to
the world's estimation--laid title and wealth before me, the Duke of
Downsbury's heiress. I had flattery, homage, compliments, praise, but
not what I thought to be love. In discussing different offers my mother
would say: 'This one belongs to the oldest family in England;' of
another, 'He has the fairest estates in the country;' of another, 'He is
a great favorite at court;' of another, 'He can give his wife jewels fit
for an empress;' but she never urged as a recommendation that any one
loved me. As a rule, one values least that which one has, and longs most
for that which one has not. I was born and reared in the very heart of
luxury--I knew nothing else--so that I valued splendor and magnificence,
luxury and wealth far less than I valued love; and while wiser heads
than mine were occupied in discussing which would be the most advisable
suitor for me, I was occupied in looking for some one who would love me.
Is it natural, Earle Moray, that one should long to be loved?"
He looked at the pale, sad face.
"Just as natural, Lady Hereford, as that the thirsty flowers should long
for dew," he replied.
"So I think. I made a terrible mistake. I wrecked my whole life; yet I
think that if I had to live over again I should look first for love.
"One evening there was a ball at the palace, and I went with the
duchess, my mother. On our way she began to talk to me about a certain
Lord Alverton, whose proposal of marriage had delighted her.
"'I should certainly advise you, my dear child,' she said, 'to accept
him. He will be at the palace this evening, and I shall be pleased to
hear that you have accepted him.'
"'But I do not love him, mamma,' I said.
"She looked surprised.
"'Never be vehement, Estelle,' she said, in a tone of reproof; 'it is
not lady-like. And, my dear child, remember, rank has its penalty. In
ours we do not marry for love.'
"She meant it all kindly. She loved me then, and loves me now, better
than half the mothers in this world love their children. She spoke as
she herself had been taught; but I was resolved never to learn the same
lesson. I would marry for love, and nothing else. I entered the palace
gates, resolved to dismiss his lordship, and to wait until some one
loved me.
"As I was promenading with one of my partners, my eyes fell suddenly
upon one of the handsomest men I had ever seen--a face that irresistibly
drew my attention, it was so handsome, high-bred and debonair. I looked
at him again and again in wonder. I watched him as he spoke to different
people. I saw that he left everyone whom he addressed laughing. I
wondered who he could be. A royal duchess spoke to him, and seemed to
enjoy his conversation; so that he must be 'one of us,' I thought to
myself. Suddenly I asked my companion, 'Who is the gentleman to whom the
Duchess of K---- is talking?'
"He laughed a little, low laugh.
"'That is Captain Ulric Studleigh,' he replied, 'the handsomest, the
most popular, and the most good-for-nothing man in London.'
"'Good-for-nothing,' I repeated; 'how is that? What do you mean?'
"'Perhaps I should apologize for the expression,' said my companion,
'but really I know of none other so suitable. He is a Studleigh, and you
know the character of the race.'
"'Indeed I do not,' was my earnest reply.
"'The Studleighs are all faithless and debonair,' he continued: 'they
have made more love and broken more hearts than any other race even of
twice their number.'
"'But every one seems to like Captain Studleigh. See how people listen
to him, talk to him, laugh at him.'
"'I tell you, Lady Hereford, that he is really the most popular man in
London.'
"'But how can he be popular,' I persisted, 'if he is what you say?'
"'Faithless and debonair,' he repeated. 'But I do not know that the
world will like him any the less for that. He has a handsome face. Look
at his smile; it is like a gleam of sunshine. And, to tell you the
truth, Lady Hereford, I know of no one else who can talk as he does.'
"Then my partner left me, and I became engrossed in watching Captain
Studleigh. Surely no one could be more popular; no one passed him
without a word or a jest. I watched him as he bent over the white hands
of fair ladies, and I was mad enough to feel something like jealousy
when he seemed to like one. Then, by some accident, I can never
remember how it happened, our eyes met. I saw him start, and I hoped he
admired me.
"Ah, dear Heaven! what a foolish child I was! Then he went away
hurriedly, and in a few minutes afterward he was bowing before me, while
some one introduced him to me. The extreme bitterness of the pain has
long since left me, and I can remember that when he asked me to dance
with him, and my hand touched his arm, it was as though the happiness of
my life had suddenly grown complete. Thinking of myself as I was then,
tears of pity fill my eyes.
"It was a long dance, and when it ended Captain Studleigh did not seem
more anxious to part from me than I was to part from him. The spell was
beginning to work on me as it worked on others. His bright, laughing
eyes, handsome face, rich, clear voice, the inexhaustible fund of wit
and mirth, the tender, chivalrous deference that he knew so well how to
pay, delighted me. He asked me if I should like to see a famous picture
that had been recently sent to the palace. I said 'Yes,' glad of any
pretext for being longer with him. I do not know how time passed. I was
happier than I had ever been in my life before. Suddenly Captain
Studleigh asked me, with a smile, where was my mother, the duchess. I
told him she had been invited to join the royal circle, and was there
now, I believed.
"'Fortune is kind to me to-night,' he said, with a smile.
"Simply enough I asked him why he should call my mother's preoccupation
fortunate to him.
"He laughed outright.
"'My dear Lady Hereford,' he said, 'if her grace were at hand, do you
suppose I should be allowed this delightful half hour here with you?'
"'Why not?' I asked, wonderingly.
"'Because I am what is called a detrimental. I am a poor younger son,
whose presumption, as the dowagers say, is frightful. Have I any right,
possessing under ten thousand a year and no title, to monopolize, even
for five minutes, the smiles of Lady Estelle Hereford?'
"I knew that he was speaking satirically, but it struck me, at the same
time, that his views and mine would upon many points agree.
"'What nonsense about being a poor younger son,' I said. 'What
difference does it make?'
"He laughed again.
"'That is the most sensible question I ever heard, Lady Hereford, and as
a younger son I thank you for it. It makes a wonderful difference in the
opinion of most people.'
"'It makes none in mine,' I said, decidedly; and then I saw him look
steadfastly at me. I never even gave a thought to the significance of my
words. Suddenly I remembered the conversation I had had about him. I
looked up into his face.
"'Captain Studleigh,' I asked, 'why do people call you faithless and
debonair?'
"'Do they?' he asked. 'I do not think that such a bad character, Lady
Estelle.'
"'Is it true that all the Studleighs are faithless?' I repeated.
"'I wish I dared say, try one of them, Lady Estelle. That may be the
tradition of the family, but it would be cruel to judge every member by
it. After all, it is something to be debonair, so I must be content.'
"Looking at him and listening to him, I did not believe one word of it.
There was a charm about him that no words of mine could possibly
describe--a charm that I believe, even now, belongs to no one else on
earth. I soon found that what he said was perfectly true. As I returned
to the ball-room I saw my mother looking for us. Her eyes did not fall
with a very pleased expression on Captain Studleigh. She came up to us
and made some little observation to him; the tone of it was barely
civil, and he was quick enough to notice it. He gave me one laughing
glance, as though he would say, 'You see, I told you I was a
detrimental,' then he bowed and went away.
"'My dear Estelle,' she said, 'have you been long with Captain
Studleigh?'
"I told her how long, and she looked displeased.
"'Who introduced you to him?'" she asked.
"Ah! how ashamed I was. I could not remember; I had never even noticed.
She turned to me.
"'It was a mistake,' she said, gently. 'He is a handsome man, but the
Studleighs are all alike. I should not wish you to fall into the habit
of wasting your time with him.'
"'Wasting my time.' I repeated that phrase over and over again. The only
gleam of happiness I had found in this great world was looked coldly
upon by my mother, and called 'wasting my time.'
"I went home with my head and heart full of him, longing only for the
hour to come when I should meet him again. Looking back, I pity myself,
Earle Moray--I pity myself!"