_Good Night_
"Good night! Sleep, and so may ever
Lights half seen across a murky lea,
Child of hope, and courage, and endeavour,
Gleam a voiceless benison on thee!
Youth be bearer
Soon of hardihood;
Life be fairer,
Loyaller to good;
Till the far lamps vanish into light,
Rest in the dreamtime. Good night! Good night!"
The last Saturday of the summer term saw the Manor cock-house at
cricket: almost a foregone conclusion, and therefore not particularly
interesting to outsiders. During the morning Scaife gave his farewell
"brekker"[39] at the Creameries; a banquet of the Olympians to which
John received an invitation. He accepted because Desmond made a point of
his so doing; but he was quite aware that beneath the veneer of the
Demon's genial smile lay implacable hatred and resentment. The breakfast
in itself struck John as ostentatious. Scaife's father sent quails, _a
la Lucullus_, and other delicacies. Throughout the meal the talk was of
the coming war. At that time most of the Conservative papers pooh-poohed
the possibility of an appeal to arms, but Scaife's father, admittedly a
great authority on South African affairs, had told his son a fight was
inevitable. More, he and his friends were already preparing to raise a
regiment of mounted infantry. At breakfast Scaife announced this piece
of news, and added that in the event of hostilities he would join this
regiment, and not try to pass into Sandhurst. And he added that any of
his friends who were present, and over eighteen years of age, were
cordially invited to send in their names, and that he personally would
do all that was possible to secure them billets. The words were hardly
out of his mouth, when Caesar Desmond was on his feet, with an eager--
"Put me down, Demon; put me down first!"
And then Scaife glanced at John, as he answered--
"Right you are, Caesar, and if things go well with us, I fancy that we
shall get our commissions in regular regiments soon enough. The governor
had had a hint to that effect. Let's drink success to 'Scaife's Horse.'"
The toast was drunk with enthusiasm.
During the holidays, John saw nothing of Desmond, although they wrote to
each other once a week. John was reading hard with an eye to a possible
scholarship at Oxford; Desmond was playing cricket with Scaife. Later,
Desmond went to the Scaife moor in Scotland. John noted that his
friend's letters were full of two things only: sport, and the
ever-increasing probability of war. At the end of August John Verney,
the explorer, returning to Verney Boscobel after an absence of nearly
four years, began to write his now famous book on the Far East. Then
John learned from his mother that his uncle had borne all the charges of
his education. When he thanked him, the uncle said warmly--
"You have more than repaid me, my dear boy; not another word, please,
about that. Warde tells me they expect great things of you at Oxford."
Uncle and nephew were alone, after dinner. John had noticed that the
hardships endured in Manchuria and Thibet had left scars upon the
traveller. His hair was white, he looked an old man; one whose
wanderings in wild places must perforce come soon to an end.
"Uncle," said John, "I want to chuck Oxford."
"Eh?"
"I should like to go into the Army."
"Bless my soul!"
The explorer eyed his nephew with wrinkled brow. John gave reasons; we
can guess what they were. The prospect of war had set all ardent souls
afire.
"I must think this over, my boy," the uncle replied presently. "I must
sleep on it. Have you told your mother?"
"No; I counted upon you to persuade her."
"Um. Now tell me about Lord's! Ah! I'm sorry I missed that match."
Next day, his uncle said nothing of what lay next to John's heart, but
the pair rode together over the estate. During that ride it became plain
to the young man that his uncle had no intention of settling down. Once
or twice, in the driest, most matter-of-fact tone, the elder spoke as if
his heir were likely to inherit soon. Finally, John blurted out a
protest--
"But, uncle, you are a strong man. Why do you talk as if--as if----" the
boy couldn't finish the phrase.
"Tut, tut," said the uncle. "I know what I know"; and he fell into
silence.
Not till the evening, after Mrs. Verney had gone to bed, did the man of
many wanderings speak freely.
"John," said he, quietly, "I have a story to tell you. Years ago, your
father and I fell in love with the same girl. She married the better
man." He paused to fill a pipe: John saw that his uncle's fingers
trembled slightly; but his voice was cool, measured, almost monotonous.
"I made my first expedition to Patagonia. When I came back you were just
born; and I asked that I might be your godfather. I went to Africa after
the christening. And six years later your father died. I think he had
the purest and most unselfish love of the poor and helpless that I have
ever known. He wore away his life in the service of the outcast and
forlorn. And before he died, he expressed a wish that you should work as
he did, for others, but not in precisely the same way. He knew, none
better, the limitations imposed upon a parson. He prayed that you might
labour in a field larger than one parish. And I promised him that I
would do what I could when the time came. It has come--to-night. In my
opinion, in Warde's opinion, in your dear mother's opinion, Parliament
is the place for you. You will be sufficiently well off. Take all Oxford
can give you, and then try for the House of Commons. Charles Desmond
will make you one of his Private Secretaries. I have spoken to him. You
have a great career before you."
"But if war breaks out, uncle----"
"War _will_ break out. Don't misunderstand me! If you are wanted out
there, and the thing is going to be very serious, if you are wanted, you
must go; but decidedly you are not wanted yet. And you are an only son;
all your mother has. John, you must think of her, and you will think of
her, I know."
The conviction in his quiet voice communicated itself to his nephew.
There was a pause of nearly a minute; and then John answered, in a voice
curiously like his uncle's--
"All right."
Verney senior held out his hand. "I knew you would say that," he
murmured.
* * * * *
On the 18th of September, when John returned to the Hill, the country
had just learned that the proposals of the Imperial Government to accept
the note of August 19th (provided it were not encumbered by conditions
which would nullify the intention to give substantial representation to
the Uitlanders) had not been accepted. That this meant war, none, least
of all a schoolboy, doubted. Desmond could talk of nothing else. He told
John that his father had promised to let him leave Harrow before the end
of the term, if war were declared. The Demon, so John was informed, had
made already preparations. He was taking out his three polo ponies, and
had hopes of being appointed Galloper to a certain General. Scaife's
Horse was being organized, but in any case would not take the field
before several months had elapsed; the Demon intended to be on the spot
when the first shot was fired.
To all this gunpowder-talk John listened with envious ears and a curious
sinking of the heart. He had looked forward to having Desmond to
himself; and lo! his friend was seven thousand miles away--on the veldt,
not on the Hill.
"You are not keen," said Desmond.
On the day of the Goose Match, Saturday, September 30th, Scaife came
down to Harrow to take leave of his friends. Already, John noted an
extraordinary difference in his manner and appearance. He treated John
to a slightly patronizing smile, called him Jonathan, asked if he could
be of service to him, and posed most successfully as a sort of sucking
Alexander.
That he absorbed Desmond's eyes and mind was indisputable. Everything
outside South Africa, and in particular the Hill and all things thereon,
dwindled into insignificance. Scaife made Desmond a present of the very
best maps obtainable, and nailed them on the wall above the mantelpiece,
pulling down a fine engraving which John had given to Desmond about a
year before. Desmond uttered no protest. The engraving was bundled out
of sight behind a sofa.
And after Scaife's departure, Desmond talked of him continually, and
always with enthusiasm. Warde added a note or two to the chorus.
"This is an opportunity for Scaife," he told John. "He may distinguish
himself very greatly, and the discipline of the camp will transmute the
bad metal into gold. War is an alchemist."
Upon the 11th of October war was declared.
After that, Desmond became as one possessed. He went about saying that
he pitied his father profoundly because he was a civilian and a
non-combatant. Warde wrote to Charles Desmond: "If you mean to send
Harry out, send him at once. He's fretting himself to fiddle-strings,
doing no work, and causing others to do no work also."
Sir William Symons' victory and death followed, and then the mortifying
retreat of General Yule. Upon the 30th day of the month eight hundred
and fifty officers and men were isolated and captured. Who does not
remember the wave of passionate incredulity that swept across the
kingdom when the evil tidings flashed over-seas? But Buller and his
staff were on the _Dunottar Castle_, and all Harrovians believed
devoutly that within a month of landing the Commander-in-Chief would
drive the invaders back and conquer the Transvaal.
Day after day, Desmond importuned his father. The "fun" would be over,
he pointed out, before he got there--and so on. At last word came. A
billet had been obtained. Desmond received a long envelope from the War
Office. He showed it to all his friends, old and young. Duff
junior--Caesar's fag--became so excited that he asked Warde for
permission to enlist as a drummer-boy. The School cheered Caesar at four
Bill.
And then came the parting.
Caesar was to join the Headquarters' Staff as soon as possible. He spent
the last hours with John, but his mind, naturally enough, was
concentrated upon his kit. He chattered endlessly of saddlery,
revolvers, sleeping bags, and Zeiss glasses. John packed his
portmanteau. And on the morrow the friends parted at the station without
a word beyond--
"Good-bye, old Jonathan. Wish you were coming."
"Good-bye, Caesar. Good luck!"
And then the shrill whistle, the inexorable rolling of the wheels, the
bright, eager face leaning far out of the window, the waved
handkerchief, the last words: "So long!" and John's reply, "So long!"
John saw the face fade; the wheels of the vanishing train seemed to have
rolled over his heart; the scream of the engine was the scream of
anguish from himself. He left the station and ran to the Tower. There,
after the first indescribable moments, some kindly spirit touched him.
He became whole. But he had ceased to be a boy. Alone upon the tower he
prayed for his friend, prayed fervently that it might be well with him,
now and for ever--Amen.
When he returned to the Manor, however, peace seemed to forsake him. The
horrible gap, ever-widening, between himself and Desmond might, indeed,
be bridged by prayer, but not by the shouts of boys and the turmoil of a
Public School.
During the rest of the term he worked furiously. Desmond was now on the
high seas, whither John followed him at night and on Sundays. Warde,
guessing, perhaps, what was passing in John's heart, talked much of
Desmond, always hopefully. From Warde, John learned that Charles Desmond
had tried to dissuade his favourite son from becoming a soldier.
"He wanted him to go into Parliament," said Warde.
John nodded.
"It was a disappointment. Yes; a great disappointment. Harry would have
made a debater. Yes; yes; a nimble wit, an engaging manner, and the gift
of the gab. And the father would have had him under his own eye."
"But he wanted to go to South Africa from the beginning."
"You wanted to go," said Warde; "your uncle told me so. It was a greater
thing for you, John, to stand aside."
And then John put a question. "Do you think that Harry ought to have
stood aside too?"
Warde, however, unwilling to commit himself, spoke of Harry's ardour and
patriotism. But at the end he let fall a straw which indicated the true
current of his thoughts--
"Mr. Desmond is very lonely."
John swooped on this.
"Then you think, you _do_ think, that Harry should have stayed behind?"
"Perhaps. One hesitates to accuse the boy of anything more than
thoughtlessness."
"If he wished to serve his country," began John, warmly.
Warde smiled. "Yes, yes," he assented. "Let us believe that, John; but
there has been too much cheap excitement."
Dark days followed. Who will ever forget Stormberg and Magersfontein? A
pall seemed to hang over the kingdom. Ladysmith remained in the grip of
the invader; the Boers were not yet driven out of Natal. Meantime Caesar
had reached Sir Redvers Buller. A letter to his father, describing the
few incidents of the voyage out, and his arrival in South Africa, was
sent on to John and received by him on the 1st of February. "John will
understand," said Caesar, in a postscript, "that I have little time for
writing." But John did not understand. He wrote regularly to Desmond; no
answer came in return.
* * * * *
At the end of the Christmas holidays John returned to Harrow. He was now
Head of his House, and very nearly Head of the School. The weeks went by
slowly. Soon, he and a few others would travel to Oxford for their
examination; there would be the strenuous excitement of competition, and
the final announcement of success or failure. To all this John told
himself that he was lukewarm. Nothing seemed to matter since he had lost
sight of Caesar's face, since the train whirled his friend out of his
life. But he worked hard, so hard that the Head Master bade him beware
of a breakdown.
* * * * *
The hour of triumph came. John had gratified his own and Warde's
ambition; he was a Scholar of Christ Church. And this well-earned
success seemed to draw something in his heart. The congratulations, the
warm hand-clasps, the generous joy of schoolfellows not as fortunate,
restored his moral circulation. A whole holiday was granted in honour of
his success at Oxford. He told himself that now he would take things
easy and enjoy himself. The clouds in South Africa were lifting,
everybody said the glorious end was in sight. And so far Desmond had
escaped wounds and sickness. He had received a commission in
Beauregard's Irregular Horse; in the five days' action about Spion Kop
he behaved with conspicuous gallantry. Scaife, having obtained his
billet of Galloper, was with a General under Lord Methuen.
On the last Monday but one in the term, John was entering the Manor just
before lock-up, when a Sixth Form boy from another house passed him,
running.
"Have you heard about poor Scaife?" he called out.
"No--what?"
"Warde will tell you; he knows." The boy ran on, not wishing to be late.
John ran, too, with his heart thumping against his side. He felt
certain, from the expression upon the boy's face, that Scaife was dead.
And John recalled with intense bitterness and humiliation moments in
past years when he had wished that Scaife would die. Charles Desmond had
told him only three weeks before that his Harry hoped to join the smart
cavalry regiment in which a commission had been promised to Scaife. At
that moment John was sensible of an inordinate desire for anything that
might come between this wish and its fulfilment. And now, Scaife might
be lying dead.
He found Warde in his study staring at a telegram. He looked up as John
entered, and in silence handed him the message.
"_Demon dead. Died gloriously._"
The telegram came from an Harrovian, an old Manorite at the War Office.
John sat down, stunned by the news; Warde regarded him gravely. John met
his glance and could not interpret it. Presently, Warde said nervously--
"Why did the fellow write 'Demon' instead of 'Scaife'? I don't like
that." He looked sharply at John, who did not understand. Then he added,
"I've wired for confirmation. There may be a--mistake."
"What mistake?" said John. Warde's manner confused him, frightened him.
"What mistake, sir?"
Warde, twisting the paper, answered miserably--
"There has been an action, but not in Scaife's part of Africa.
Beauregard's Horse were engaged and suffered severely. And would any one
say 'Demon' in such a serious context?"
"Oh, my God!" said John, pale and trembling. At last he understood. Add
two letters to "Demon" and you have "Desmond." How easily such a mistake
could be made!--"Desmond," ill-written, handed to an old Manorite to
copy and despatch.
"It's Scaife--it's Scaife," John cried.
Warde said nothing, staring at the thin slip of paper as if he were
trying to wrest from it its secret.
"Everybody called him 'Demon,'" said John.
"Still, one ought to be prepared."
For many hideous minutes they sat there, silent, waiting for the second
telegram. Dumbleton brought it in, and lingered, anxiously expectant;
but Warde dismissed him with a gesture. As the door closed, Warde stood
up.
"If our fears are well founded," he said solemnly, "may God give you
strength, John Verney, to bear the blow."
Then he tore open the envelope and read the truth--
"_Henry Desmond killed in action._"
"No," said John, fiercely. "It is Scaife, Scaife!"
Warde shook his head, holding John's hand tight between his sinewy
fingers. John's face appalled him. He had known, he had guessed, the
strength of John's feeling for Desmond, but, he had not known the
strength of John's hatred of Scaife. And Desmond had been taken--and
Scaife left. The irony of it tore the soul.
"Don't speak," commanded Warde.
John closed his lips with instinctive obedience. When he opened them
again his face had softened; the words fell upon the silence with a
heartrending inflection of misery.
"And now I shall never know--I shall never know."
He broke down piteously. Warde let the first passion of grief spend
itself; then he asked John to explain. The good fellow saw that if John
could give his trouble words it would be lightened enormously. He
divined what had been suppressed.
"What is it that you will never know, John?"
At that John spoke, laying bare his heart. He gave details of the
never-ending struggle between Scaife and himself for the soul of his
friend; gave them with a clearness of expression which proved beyond all
else how his thoughts had crystallized in his mind. Warde listened,
holding John's hand, gripping it with sympathy and affection. The
romance of this friendship stirred him profoundly; the romance of the
struggle for good and evil; a struggle of which the issues remained
still in doubt; a romance which Death had cruelly left unfinished--this
had poignant significance for the house-master.
"I shall never know now," John repeated, in conclusion.
"But you have faith in your friend."
"He never wrote to me," said John.
At last it was out, the thorn in his side which had tormented him.
"If he had written," John continued, "if only he had written once. When
we parted it was good-bye--just that, nothing more; but I thought he
would write, and that everything would be cleared up. And now, silence."
* * * * *
The week wore itself away. A few details were forthcoming: enough to
prove that a glorious deed had been done at the cost of a gallant life.
England was thrilled because the hero happened to be the son of a
popular Minister. The name of Desmond rang through the Empire. John
bought every paper and devoured the meagre lines which left so much
between them. It seemed that a certain position had to be taken--a small
hill. For the hundredth time in this campaign too few men were detailed
for the task. The reek of that awful slaughter on Spion Kop was still
strong in men's nostrils. Beauregard and his soldiers halted at the foot
of the hill, halted in the teeth of a storm of bullets. Then the word
was given to attack. But the fire from invisible foes simply
exterminated the leading files. The moment came when those behind
wavered and recoiled. And then Desmond darted forward--alone, cheering
on his fellows. They were all afoot. The men rallied and followed. But
they could not overtake the gallant figure pressing on in front. He
ran--so the Special Correspondent reported--as if he were racing for a
goal. The men staggered after him, aflame with his ardour. They reached
the top, captured the guns, drove down the enemy, and returned to the
highest point to find their leader--shot through the heart, and dead,
and smiling at death. Of all the men who passed through that blizzard of
bullets he was the youngest by two years.
Warde told John that the Head Master would preach upon the last Sunday
evening of the term, with special reference to Harry Desmond. Could John
bear it? John nodded. Since the first breakdown in Warde's study, his
heart seemed to have turned to ice. His religious sense, hitherto strong
and vital, failed him entirely. He abandoned prayer.
* * * * *
Evensong was over in Harrow Chapel. The Head Master, stately in surplice
and scarlet hood, entered the pulpit, and, in his clear, calm tones,
announced his text, taken from the 17th verse of the First Chapter of
the Book of Ruth--
* * * * *
"The Lord do so to me, and more also, if ought but death part thee and
me."
The subject of the sermon was "Friendship:" the heart's blood of a
Public School: Friendship with its delights, its perils, its peculiar
graces and benedictions.
"To-night," concluded the preacher, amid the breathless silence of the
congregation, "this thought of Friendship has for us a special
solemnity. It is consecrated by the memory of one whom we have just
lost. You, who are leaving the school, have been the friends and
contemporaries of Henry Julius Desmond; his features are fresh in your
memories, and will remain fresh as long as you live.
"Tall, eager, a face to remember,
A flush that could change as the day;
A spirit that knew not December,
That brightened the sunshine of May."
"Those lines, as you know, were written of another Harrovian, who died
here on this Hill. Henry Desmond died on another hill, and died so
gloriously that the shadow of our loss, dark as it seemed to us at
first, is already melting in the radiance of his gain. To die young,
clean, ardent; to die swiftly, in perfect health; to die saving others
from death, or worse--disgrace--to die scaling heights; to die and to
carry with you into the fuller, ampler life beyond, untainted hopes and
aspirations, unembittered memories, all the freshness and gladness of
May--is not that cause for joy rather than sorrow? I say--yes. Henry
Desmond is one stage ahead of us upon a journey which we all must take,
and I entreat you to consider that, if we have faith in a future life,
we must believe also that we carry hence not only the record of our
acts, whether good or evil, but the memory of them; and that memory,
undimmed by falsehood or self-deception, will create for us Heaven or
Hell. I do not say--God forbid!--that you should desire death because
you are still young, and, comparatively speaking, unspotted from the
world; but I say I would sooner see any of you struck down in the flower
of his youth than living on to lose, long before death comes, all that
makes life worth the living. Better death, a thousand times, than
gradual decay of mind and spirit; better death than faithlessness,
indifference, and uncleanness. To you who are leaving Harrow, poised for
flight into the great world of which this school is the microcosm, I
commend the memory of Henry Desmond. It stands in our records for all we
venerate and strive for: loyalty, honour, purity, strenuousness,
faithfulness in friendship. When temptation assails you, think of that
gallant boy running swiftly uphill, leaving craven fear behind, and
drawing with him the others who, led by him to the heights, made victory
possible. You cannot all be leaders, but you can follow leaders; only
see to it that they lead you, as Henry Desmond led the men of
Beauregard's Horse, onward and upward."
The preacher ended, and then followed the familiar hymn, always sung
upon the last Sunday evening of the term:--
"Let Thy father-hand be shielding
All who here shall meet no more;
May their seed-time past be yielding
Year by year a richer store;
Those returning,
Make more faithful than before."
The last blessing was pronounced, and with glistening eyes the boys
streamed out of Chapel; some of them for the last time.
* * * * *
Upon the next Tuesday, John travelled down into the New Forest. April
was abroad in Hampshire; the larches already were bright green against
the Scotch firs; the beech buds were bursting; only the oaks retained
their drab winter's-livery.
During the few days preceding Easter Sunday, John rode or walked to
every part of the forest which he had visited in company with his dead
friend. At Beaulieu, standing in the ruins of the Abbey, he could hear
Desmond's delightful laugh as he recited the misadventures of Hordle
John; at Stoneycross he sat upon the bank overlooking the moor, whence
they had seen the fox steal into the woods about Rufus's Stone; at the
Bell tavern at Brook they had lunched; at Hinton Admiral they had
played cricket.
To his mother's and his uncle's silent sympathy John responded but
churlishly. His friend had departed without a word, without a sign; that
ate into John's heart and consumed it. For the first time since he had
been confirmed, he refused to receive the Sacrament. He went to church
as a matter of form; but he dared not approach the altar in his present
rebellious mood.
Again and again he accused himself of having yielded to a craven fear of
offending Desmond by speech too plain. Always he had been so terribly
afraid of losing his friend; and now he had lost him indeed. This
poignancy of grief may be accounted for in part by the previous
long-continued strain of overwork. And it is ever the habit of those who
do much to think that they might have done more.
At the beginning of May, John came back to the Hill, for his last term.
Out of the future rose the "dreaming spires" of Oxford; beyond them,
vague and shadowy, the great Clock-tower of Westminster, keeping watch
and ward over the destinies of our Empire.
In a long letter from Charles Desmond, the Minister had spoken of the
secretaryship to be kept warm for him, of the pleasure and solace the
writer would take in seeing his son's best friend in the place where
that son might have stood.
His best friend? Was that true?
The question tormented John. Because Caesar had been so much to him, he
desired, more passionately than he had desired anything in his life, the
assurance that he had been something--not everything, only something--to
Caesar.
* * * * *
One day, about the middle of the month, John had been playing cricket,
the game of all games which brought Caesar most vividly to his mind.
Then, just before six Bill, he strolled up the Hill and into the Vaughan
Library, where so many relics dear to Harrovians are enshrined. Sitting
in the splendid window which faces distant Hampstead, John told himself
that he must put aside the miseries and perplexities of the past month.
Had he been loyal to his friend's memory? Would not a more ardent faith
have burned away doubt?
John gazed across the familiar fields to the huge city on the horizon.
Soon night would fall, darkness would encompass all things. And then,
out of the mirk, would shine the lamps of London.
Warde's voice put his thoughts to instant flight. Some intuition told
John that something had happened. Warde said quietly--
"A letter has come for you in Harry Desmond's handwriting."
John, unable to speak, stretched out his hand.
"Take it," said Warde, "to some quiet spot where you cannot be
disturbed."
John nodded.
"I have seen how it was with you," Warde continued, with deep emotion,
"and you have had my acute sympathy, the more acute, perhaps, because
long ago a friend went out of my life without a sign." Warde paused.
"Now, unless my whole experience is at fault, you hold in your hand what
you want--and what you deserve."
Warde left the library; John put the letter into his pocket. Where
should he go? One place beckoned him. Upon the tower, looking towards
the Hill, he would read the last letter of his friend.
Within half an hour he was passing through the iron gates. He had not
visited the garden since that forlorn winter's afternoon, when he came
here, alone, after bidding Desmond good-bye. He could recall the
desolation of the scene: bleak Winter dripping tears upon the tomb of
Summer. With what disgust he had perceived the decaying masses of
vegetation, the sodden turf, the soot upon the bare trunks of the trees.
He had rushed away, fancying that he heard Desmond's voice, "There is a
curse on the place."
Now, May had touched what had seemed dead and hideous, and, lo! a
miracle. The hawthorns shone white against the brilliant green of the
laurels; the horse-chestnuts had--to use a fanciful expression of
Caesar's--"lit their lamps." Out of the waving grass glimmered and
sparkled a thousand wild flowers. John heard the glad _Fruehlingslied_ of
bees and birds. Then, opening his lungs, he inhaled the life-renewing
odours of earth renascent; opening his heart he felt a spiritual essence
pervading every fibre of his being. Once more the chilled sap in his
veins flowed generously. It was well with him and well with his friend.
This conviction possessed him, remember, before he opened the letter.
He ascended the tower, and broke the seal.
* * * * *
"I have been meaning to write to you, dear old chap, ever since we
parted; but, somehow, I couldn't bring myself to tackle it in earnest
till to-night. To-morrow, we have a thundering big job ahead of us; the
last job, perhaps, for me. Old Jonathan, you have been the best friend a
man ever had, the only one I love as much as my own brothers--_and even
more_. It was from knowing you that I came to see what good-for-nothing
fools some fellows are. You were always so unselfish and _straight!_ and
you made me feel that I was the contrary, and that you knew it, and that
I should lose your friendship if I didn't improve a bit. So, if we don't
meet again in this jolly old world, it may be a little comfort to you to
remember that what you have done for a very worthless pal was not thrown
away.
"Good night, Jonathan. I'm going to turn in; we shall be astir before
daybreak. Over the veldt the stars are shining. It's so light, that I
can just make out the hill upon which, I hope, our flag will be waving
within a few hours. The sight of this hill brings back our Hill. If I
shut my eyes, I can see it plainly, as we used to see it from the
tower, with the Spire rising out of the heart of the old school. I have
the absurd conviction strong in me that, to-morrow, I shall get up the
hill here faster and easier than the other fellows because you and I
have so often run up our Hill together--God bless it--and you! Good
night."
FOOTNOTES:
[39] Brekker, _i.e._ breakfast.
PRINTED AND BOUND IN ENGLAND BY
WILLIAM CLOWES AND SONS LIMITED, LONDON AND BECCLES