When the Duke arrived by motor, tea had just been brought out on the
terrace at the eastern side of the house. His glance travelled rapidly
over the group. Miss Bush was not present.
His impatience had been growing and growing ever since the Thursday
night when his resolution had been taken, and now he almost felt like a
boy in his great disappointment at noting Katherine's absence.
How was he going to talk to the Colvins and Tom Hawthorne and old
Gwendoline! However, he did manage to be almost his usual self, though
Lady Garribardine was quite aware that his nerves were strung to a high
tension.
She got through tea as quickly as possible, and then walked him off to
see a new set of herbaceous borders.
The very second that they were alone, Mordryn began to talk openly to
her. He had determined to have no further cross purposes of any kind.
"Do you guess, Seraphim, what has brought me here to-day?" he asked.
"I have some shrewd idea--you have decided to appreciate reality and
discard appearance, as my Katherine Bush would say."
"That is it. Have I your sympathy, dear friend?"
"My warmest sympathy, Mordryn; your happiness means a very great deal to
me. I have had some horrible moments in those past years, of remorse for
my part in your sorrows--but if you secure this girl, I can feel that
you will be amply compensated."
"I am deeply in love, Seraphim, and you, I know, will not laugh at me,
or think it absurd."
She gave him a frank smile full of affection.
"Indeed, no--and what is more important, the girl will not laugh either.
She is full of passion, Mordryn--have you ever watched her little
nostrils quiver? You will have no colourless time with her! She is
not of the type of poor Läo Delemar, Gerard's friend, or Julia
Scarrisbrooke! The fierce red blood rushes through her veins!--But she
is too entirely self-controlled to let even me see what her real
feelings are, though I shrewdly suspect she is in love with you--You,
the man, Mordryn--and not, strange to say, the Dukedom at all!"
His Grace thrilled with delight--as why not, indeed! Of all beautiful
and maligned things, he knew real passion was the rarest!
"If it had been the Dukedom, she could have tantalized me into
committing any madness--weeks ago--but she has done nothing of the sort.
She has simply _understood_, that is the wonderful part."
"She is an amazing creature, a wonderful character, old
friend--perfectly honest and intensely proud. Not with the pride which
sticks its chin in the air, but that which carries the head high; there
is all the difference in the world between the two. Upstarts nearly
always have their chins in the air, but are unacquainted with the other
attitude. She will make the most perfect Duchess your house has ever
known--And think of your children!"
The Duke drew in his breath sharply, a new joy permeated him at her
words--"Just think of your children! Why, my dream of the six sturdy
boys may yet come true!"
"Seraphim--really!"
Her ladyship chuckled happily. "Now we must use common sense; there must
not be a flaw in the whole affair. If she agrees to marry you, I will
begin to arrange the situation at once. I will bring her out more and
present her to people--and we will not announce the engagement for a few
weeks. No one will dare to question who she is, or where she came from
if I choose to do that. Some of them may even suggest that she is the
result of some past indiscretion of one of the family that I have
adopted. They may think what they like! She is so absolutely honest, she
would tell anyone the truth herself without a care--but I think I shall
advise her to be silent, and let people make up what they please. No one
can dispute her perfect refinement or suitability to take any position
in the world."
"Seraphim, you are an angel."
"No, I am not--I am merely a capable craftsman. I like to do everything
I undertake well. Your Duchess shall start unhandicapped."
"How deep is my gratitude, dear friend!"
"Tut, tut!"
But her dark eyes beamed mistily. "When I see you safely off--with the
knot tied, on your way to Valfreyne for the honeymoon--I shall feel
content."
"Where is she?"
"I told her to go and rest under the chestnuts this afternoon. She
looked as pale as a ghost."
"May I find her there, then, now?"
"Yes--be off! And bless you!"
They wrung hands, and the Duke strode away looking, as Her Ladyship
admitted, with a fond half-sigh, still the hero of any woman's dream.
His years sat so lightly upon him.
But he searched under the chestnuts and beyond, and Katherine was
nowhere to be seen. A rug was folded beneath one great trunk--she had
evidently been there, and had now wandered on and perhaps was not far
off.
He continued his search for some time without success, and when he
reached the edge of the near woods, with their beautiful paths, some of
which ran down to a bit of ornamental water just big enough to be called
a lake, he stopped, puzzled as to which one to follow. His heart was
beating as it had not beat for years. He decided to go straight to the
water's edge to a Chinese tea-house which was there, and when he came at
length in sight of this, he perceived the flutter of a grey linen skirt
disappearing round the corner of it--On the verandah which overhung the
water, there were great white water lilies growing in masses just
beneath, while two stately swans swam about in the distance; the sun was
sinking, it was past six o'clock; and the lights were very lovely and
all was serene and still.
His footfalls did not sound on the soft turf, and Katherine did not know
of his approach until he actually stood before her on the broad verandah
step.
She was leaning against the balustrade gazing out over the lake, and she
turned and caught sight of him.
He came forward with outstretched hands, his face aglow.
"So I have found you at last!" he cried, gladly. "What made you hide
away here all alone?"
Katherine controlled herself sternly. She shook hands calmly, saying it
was cool by the water and a pleasant place to be.
"Solitude is good sometimes."
She had felt too restless to stay beneath the trees--even her will could
not keep her disturbed thoughts from speculation as to what the day
might bring. And now the Duke was here beside her, and the situation
must be faced.
He came close and leaned upon the quaint wooden rails trying to look
down into her averted face, while he whispered:
"I had rather enjoy a _solitude à deux_."
He saw that she was pale and that her manner was restrained. Did she
possibly misunderstand the purpose of his coming?
"Look," and she pointed over to the swans--"they perhaps agree with
you--they swim lazily about together, dignified and composed, far from
turmoil and agitating currents. One envies the birds and beasts and
fishes--sometimes," and she sighed.
"You must not sigh--look at me, Katherine. I want to see your eyes."
But she disobeyed him and turned the broad lids down. He leaned closer
still, and this caused a wave of emotion to sweep over her, producing
the same feeling which she had once thought only Lord Algy in all the
world could evoke in her--so that the Duke saw those little nostrils
quiver, which his friend Seraphim had spoken to him about, and the sight
gave him great joy.
"Look at me, Katherine!" and now his voice was full of command.
Then she slowly raised her gray-green eyes and he saw that they were
troubled, in spite of the passion that lay in their depths.
"Why do you come here and speak to me like this?" and in her voice
there was reproach. "We said farewell at Valfreyne--that was the end--I
understood--Why do you come again to trouble me now?"
"Because I could not keep away--because I love you, darling child."
She drew back, shivering with the pain of the struggle which was
developing in her soul.
"Hush, you must not say that to me, I ask you not to, please."
But since coldness and repulsion were not what he read in her glance,
her words did not discourage him.
"I was very foolish at Valfreyne, Katherine, ever to have said farewell,
but now I have come here to Blissington to tell you that I love you
passionately, my darling, and your dear sympathy and understanding saw
into my mind, and grasped the prejudices therein. But now the blindness
has fallen from my eyes--I adore you, my Beloved One--Katherine, I want
you to be my wife."
His voice had never been more beautiful. His splendid presence had never
appeared more impressive, nor the fascination of the man more supreme.
And he was there, a suppliant before her asking her to be his wife!
For a few seconds her brain reeled. The summit of her ambition was
reached--and not ambition alone, but what now seemed to matter more, the
realisation of true love. Both were there for her to take and to enjoy.
The fateful moment had come. She was face to face with the great problem
of her life. How could she relinquish all this glory, just to keep faith
with her ideal of right?
She looked up into his proud face and saw it transfigured with worship,
and she gave a little cry--No, she could never deceive him, he was far
too fine for that. Whatever came, between them there should be only
truth. But even so, a flood of passionate emotion burst all bonds, the
whole deep currents of her nature were stirred, and must find vent
before the final renunciation.
"Ah!" she cried, and let herself be clasped in his embrace, then, "I
love you, I love you!" she went on wildly.--"Kiss me--hold me, let me
feel what it is like to be there next your heart--what it would
mean--what it _could_ mean, if it might only be.--Oh! you do not know
what it costs really to say good-bye--Do you remember once when I told
you that I knew one side of love and asked you if there was not
something beyond? Well, I know now that there is--you have taught me to
feel it--It is the soul's victory--I love you with everything in me,
with my body and my spirit and my life!"
But she could articulate no further, for the Duke, intoxicated with
emotion, strained her to his heart, bruising her lips with kisses which
seemed to transport them both to paradise.
Here was no timid lover! But one with a nature as fiercely passionate as
her own!
"Ah, God, how divine!" and he sighed when at last after long, blissful
seconds his lips left hers. "Katherine, how dare you talk such folly to
me of bidding me good-bye! You shall never leave me again, you are
absolutely mine."
"Hush!" and she put her hand over his mouth tenderly, while she drew
herself out of his arms. "As far as love goes I am indeed all yours, the
mightiness of this passion has swept away all other thoughts, but now
you will have to listen to me--and you must not speak until the
end.--See, let us sit here for the story is long."
Just to humour her he allowed her to draw him to the seat, and with eyes
devouring her with fond impatience, he waited for her to begin.
"Promise that you will not interrupt me until I have finished, no matter
what you may feel or think."
He gave his word quite gaily and took and held her hand.
Katherine controlled her every nerve now and told the story in a deep,
quiet voice--with no dramatic gestures, drawing a graphic picture of her
home and of the office at Liv and Dev's and the effect upon her of the
voices of the gentlemen who came to borrow money. And then she told of
the coming of Lord Algy and of their acquaintance, and then she paused
for a second and glanced at Mordryn's face. It had grown a little
strained, but he grasped more tightly her hand.
"Now you must listen very carefully and try to understand. I suppose I
must have been in love with him in a passionate kind of way, he was so
very handsome and gay and full of charm--Well, I decided to go away with
him for three days--I decided deliberately, not so much from love as
because I wanted to understand life, and to know the nature of men, and
the point of view of an aristocrat."
The Duke's face became ashen white and his hand turned icy cold, but he
did not speak. So with a little break in her voice, Katherine went on:
"--Well, we went to Paris on the Saturday and came back on the Monday
night; by that time I knew all the passionate side of love; he aroused
all those instincts in me which I once told you about--but he never
touched my soul--that slept until you came.--I never meant to stay with
him or remain his mistress; it was for experience, and that was all--and
we parted at Charing Cross Station, and he went to Wales to his family
to shoot, and I went home. I wrote to him and told him that I would not
see him again. Then I made up my mind that I would leave Livingstone &
Devereux's, and begin my next rise in the world. Oh! you do not know how
ignorant I was then! But I never lost sight of the goal I meant to win,
to win by knowing how to fill the position desired. I had vast dreams
even in those early days. I was fortunate to obtain the situation of
Lady Garribardine's secretary, and on leaving the house after being
engaged, I met Lord Algy by chance in the park. He was very much upset
and unhappy at my determination never to see him again--and he asked me
to marry him. I refused, of course, because I knew even then that he
only attracted one side of me, and also I was not educated enough at
that time to have been able to carry off the position with success. I
explained everything to him, and made him promise to try and be a fine
soldier--he was being sent to Egypt for his extravagance, and so we
parted, and I have never spoken to him since. My goal now was definitely
fixed; I meant to educate myself to be able to take the highest position
to be obtained in England some day. I used to long for Algy sometimes,
but only every now and then, when some scent or sound brought him back
to me; that is why I said such love is unbalanced and animal--the memory
of it is always aroused by something of the senses. Then, after I went
to Lady Garribardine, Mr. Strobridge came upon the scene, and his great
cultivation inspired me, and presently we became friends. I deliberately
encouraged his friendship so as to polish my own brain. I knew he was
in love with me, so this may have been wrong, but since he was weak
enough to allow himself to feel in that way for me knowing he was
married, he must pay the price in pain, not I. He has always been a
loyal friend after the beginning, when he lost his head one night and
made a great scene. My determination never wavered; it was in every way
to improve myself, always to be perfectly true and finally to obtain the
height of my ambition. Things went on in this way for a year and a half,
Lady Garribardine always helping me and encouraging my education until
we became deep and intimate friends. But the goal never seemed to come
in view until I went to the House of Lords that day and saw you and
heard you speak. In a lightning flash the object of all my striving
seemed revealed to me, and I began to lay my plans, but with some
unusual excitement, because something in you had aroused an emotion in
my heart, the meaning of which I could not then determine. That night I
went to the theatre with my sister and there saw in the stalls Lord
Algy, returned from Egypt, I suppose, on leave. The sight of him moved
me, I felt cold and sick, but I realised once for all that my feeling
for him had been only physical, and was passing away.
"I had arranged with Mr. Strobridge to have the dinner, and to let me
meet you, not as the secretary, because I knew that your unconscious
prejudice would be insurmountable then. And I thought that if you liked
me that night, afterwards the prejudice might not be so deep when you
did know my real position.--You will remember what followed, but the
second part of the story begins with the afternoon you came into the
schoolroom. Until then I had never had a backward thought or regret or
worry about Lord Algy. I was only glad to have had the experience, that
was all. But after I had told you of my life and parentage, you bent
down and kissed my hand. And from that moment doubts began to trouble
me. You had started the awakening of my soul. And as love grew and grew,
so the blackness of the shadow increased. I knew that if I deceived you
I should only draw unhappiness and never respect myself. Where love is
there can be no deceit--and so at last even before I went to Valfreyne I
put all thoughts of you from me. Although each day you seemed to grow
more dear--until I knew that you meant everything to me and were my wild
and passionate desire--I saw that my position in life held you back, and
I was almost glad that it should be so--because I knew that if you
should really love me, and conquer your prejudice against my class, it
would come to this, that I must tell you the truth and that it would
part us forever. And I have tried to prevent you from telling me of your
love, I have tried to restrain my own for you, but now I am left
defenceless--I love you, but I realise that what I did in the past the
world could never forgive, and so I must pay the price of my own action,
and say an eternal farewell."
Her voice died away in a sob, and she did not then look at the Duke's
face; his hand had grown nerveless in its clasp and she drew hers away
from him, and rose slowly to her feet. The awful moment was over, the
story was done--she had been true to herself and had lost her love--and
now she must have courage to behave with dignity and go back to the
house.
But she must just look at him once more, her dearly loved one! He sat
there in an attitude of utter dejection, his face buried in his
hands.--For long aching moments Katherine watched him, but she did not
speak and life and hope and purpose died out of her, drowned in
overwhelming grief.
Then after this horrible silence the blood seemed to creep back to the
Duke's heart, and reaction set in. He began gradually to think. His
level judgment, his faculty for analyzing things, reasserted themselves,
and enabled him to view the whole subject in right perspective, and a
re-awakening to happiness slowly filled him.
He looked up to Katherine at last as she stood there leaning against a
pillar of the balustrade, and he read no humiliation or shame or
contrition in her great eyes, but only a deep sorrow and tenderness and
love.
And suddenly he realised the splendour of her courage, the glorious
force of character which had enabled her to jeopardize--nay, indeed,
relinquish, love and high estate and ambition, rather than be false to
herself.
_For she need not have told him anything of her story._ That fact was
the great proof of her truth. He had asked no questions about her past.
She had made no dramatic virtue of necessity, she had done this thing
that she might not soil her own soul with deceit.
Of what matter was a paltry venial sin! If sin it were, the shame of
which lay wholly in a too rigid convention--of what matter to him were
three days in the past, long before they had met! That she was
altogether his now in body and soul he had no faintest doubt. Was
there any man living such a fool or puritan that he would renounce
life's joy for such a foolish thing! The very qualities of courage and
justice which her action in telling him had shown, would wipe out any
sin and give him ample guaranties for future security and peace. Such
a woman was worth all the world! And ridiculous puny conventions were
of no account. Did he dream of looking upon Seraphim as degraded
because she had been his love long ago, and not his wife? Of course
not! Then why should he feel scorn for Katherine who had not even
betrayed a husband, but had been free? Scorn was for such women as
Julia Scarrisbrooke--creatures who simulated passion for one man after
another, merely as a game--people who held love cheaply and who knew
not even the glimmerings of obligation to their own souls.
Away with all shams of the world! None of them should influence him! He
had found a spirit strong and free and honest. Reality had won forever,
and appearance had vanished away.
So he rose and came to her again and once more took her into his arms,
and bending kissed her white forehead as if in blessing.
"Oh! my Beloved--And you deemed that this would part us, this long-past
ugly thing! Foolish one!--You do not know how much I love you! Far
beyond any of the earthly things. Darling, I honour your brave courage.
I worship your truth. You shall come to me and be my adored wife, and
the mistress of my home. Katherine, heart of me, whisper that all
sorrows are over, and let us enter heaven together and forget all else."
But Katherine, overwrought with emotion, lay there against his breast,
limp and white. She was beyond speech, only her spirit cried out in
thankfulness to God for having given her the strength to tell the truth.
Joys kills not--and soon under her lover's fond caresses, warm life
rushed back to her. And thus in the evening glory of sunset they found
content.
For the one sublime thing in this sad, mad world is LOVE.