LADY EUREKA;
OR,
THE MYSTERY:
A PROPHECY OF THE FUTURE.
BY THE AUTHOR
OF
"MEPHISTOPHELES IN ENGLAND."
IN THREE VOLUMES.
VOL. II.
LONDON:
LONGMAN, REES, ORME, BROWN, GREEN, & LONGMANS,
PATERNOSTER-ROW.
1840.
CONTENTS
I. A CONVERSATION UPON THE PAST, THE PRESENT, AND THE FUTURE.
II. AUSTRALIAN CIVILISATION.
III. POSTHUMOUS AND HIS MUSEUM.
IV. A CONVERSAZIONE.
V. THE PHILANTHROPIST IN TROUBLE.
VI. CHINA, ITS LAWS, CUSTOMS, AND PEOPLE.
VII. A CHINESE POET.
VIII. THE MONSOON.
IX. GAME LAWS IN INDIA.
X. ILLUSTRATIONS OF THE DANGER OF GOOD INTENTIONS.
XI. ATHENIA.
EUREKA;
A PROPHECY OF THE FUTURE.
CHAPTER I.
A CONVERSATION UPON THE PAST, THE PRESENT, AND THE FUTURE.
"Now, doctor, you know my secret, and the whole of it," said Zabra, at
the conclusion of a long and interesting narrative he had communicated
to Dr. Tourniquet, upon one of his professional visits. "Let not a word
pass from your lips concerning what I have told you, for it would do me
irreparable mischief. Be in your behaviour to me exactly as you have
been. The slightest alteration would create suspicion, and that I am
most anxious to avoid. May I rely upon you?"
"Rely upon me!" cried the surgeon, while his good-natured countenance
was glowing with benevolence. "If you ever catch me saying a word, I'll
allow any body to make a preparation of me before I'm dead. I'd sooner
demonstrate upon my own skeleton, don't you see, than betray your
secret. By all that's good, you're an extraordinary creature--a more
extraordinary creature than ever I met with in the whole course of my
practice. I always thought there was something strange about you, don't
you see--a mystery I could not exactly understand--but now every thing
appears as simple as the first rudiments of medicine."
"You gratify me exceedingly by this assurance," observed the youth, "and
I am delighted by your ready acquiescence with my wishes. How can I best
express my gratitude?"
"Tush, tush--don't talk about that," replied the other kindly. "Knowing
what I do of you, I would do any thing in the world to serve you, don't
you see. Consider me from this time as your father, your brother, or
your friend, and whenever my advice or assistance can be useful, apply
to me, and I will do all in my power to forward your interests."
"You overpower me with your goodness," said his young companion,
returning the cordial pressure of the hand he had received. "Can I ever
repay----"
"Tush, tush, never mind repaying," hastily rejoined the doctor. "I
am well repaid by the pleasure it gives me to assist in your noble
intentions, don't you see. But if I may be allowed to give you a little
advice, I should strongly recommend you not to be so careless of your
life as you have been. You are not formed for fighting, don't you see.
You are not strong enough; but notwithstanding that, to my certain
knowledge you paid off many of the piratical rascals pretty handsomely,
and showed them to what profit you could apply the lessons they had
given you. When I think of you finishing some of the scoundrels so
dexterously as you did, I am filled with wonder. However, it is not
right. You stand no chance in the midst of a set of strong ferocious
men intent upon destroying all who oppose them. Your escape is a
miracle; but you should remember that you cannot be spared."
"Ah, doctor!" replied his patient, with a languid smile, "what made you
join in the conflict? Consider if _you_ had been killed, what would have
become of the wounded."
"True, true," responded Tourniquet; "I never gave that a thought. But I
had no time to think. I saw every one preparing to fight, and I knew we
should all be massacred if we didn't succeed. Although it was a sort of
trade to which I was quite unused, the examples I saw before me made me
valiant, and when I got fairly into the fray, I found myself obliged to
cut away as hard as I could, don't you see. Fortyfolios, too, didn't do
amiss. It's wonderful how the prospect of being cut to pieces, if one
don't fight, _makes_ a fellow fight. The professor went at it as if
he was at one of his old arguments; and I must say this for him, he
convinced his opponents then much more perfectly than he does in his
verbal disputes."
"He is not hurt, I hope?" inquired Zabra earnestly.
"No, but he had a narrow escape," replied the doctor. "A ball grazed
his ear, and a cutlass has scratched his ribs. I should have been sorry
if either had taken the effect intended; for although he is somewhat
dogmatical and intemperate in his manner of arguing, he possesses no
ordinary share of learning, don't you see."
"How are the rest of the wounded getting on?" asked his patient.
"Famously," said the surgeon cheerfully; "I think they are all doing
well. I may add, as well as it is possible for them to do. Two or three
of them have been severely used; on one I shall be obliged to perform
an operation. Climberkin's wounds are beginning to heal; Ardent has
returned to his duty. Many have received but trifling hurts, and Hearty,
Boggle, and Master Porphyry have escaped without a scratch. This is
rather surprising, considering that the old man Hearty--Captain Hearty
we must call him now, I suppose--fine old fellow! hacked his way through
the pirates with a cool, steady, determined courage that nothing could
withstand; and as for Oriel Porphyry, he fought like a hero. I never saw
such a change in any man, don't you see. He looked as if he'd been born
a conqueror, and for the first time in his life had ventured into his
right element. There was such a fire in his eyes, and such a grandeur
in his appearance. It was extraordinary. His very looks seemed to kill;
none could resist him."
"Is he not a noble creature?" said Zabra, his eyes again glowing with
all their accustomed animation.
"Indeed he is," replied Dr. Tourniquet, with emphasis: "I don't wonder
at your enthusiasm, don't you see. I shall begin to look upon him with
a similar admiration myself. I never could have supposed that the mere
appearance of daring valour was so grand and imposing; but there is
something of the cause of this in his tall manly figure, and handsome
countenance, don't you see."
"Hush! there is his footstep," exclaimed the youth earnestly, as he
arranged with his unwounded arm the bed-clothes closely around him.
"This place is too dark for him to see very accurately, which is what
I require. There! be feeling my pulse when he enters."
"How is he now, doctor," inquired Oriel Porphyry, advancing towards
the hammock near which the surgeon stood, seemingly intent upon his
professional duties.
"His pulse is getting more firm," said Dr. Tourniquet, assuming an
air of great seriousness, "and his wound is suppurating healthily. He
cannot be doing better. But you must apply to the patient for further
information, as I am obliged to go my rounds, don't you see." So saying,
the doctor departed.
"Are you better, Zabra?" affectionately asked Master Porphyry, seating
himself by the hammock of his wounded friend.
"Much better, Oriel," replied the youth, as he held out his hand to
clasp that of his patron. The merchant's son felt that the small hand
within his own was dry and hot, and that the flesh had lost much of the
roundness by which it had previously been distinguished.
"Your skin feels feverish," remarked his companion. "But not so much so,
I think, as it was yesterday; and your eyes look more brilliant. I shall
be delighted when you recover, not only because I miss the rich melody
of your voice, and the stirring eloquence of your conversation, but
because I know the confinement and inaction consequent upon this
indisposition can scarcely be endurable to such a nature as yours. But
when you do recover, which I hope will be speedily, I will take care you
shall not again run into such risks. Who could have supposed that you
were planning such an admirable scheme! I had not the slightest idea of
such a thing. Far from it, I thought, and I blame myself exceedingly
for having entertained a suspicion to your prejudice, that you had some
sinister intention in your behaviour to the pirates. It is only an act
of justice on my part to acknowledge that I have thought unworthily of
you, without a cause; but I am too well aware that such an avowal forms
an inadequate reparation, you must therefore allow me to express my
regrets for the injury I have done you, in a manner more in accordance
with my own sense of right. I am indebted to you not only for life and
liberty, but for all that render them in my case more than usually
endurable; for this I can never be sufficiently grateful: and when my
father comes to know, as know he soon shall, how much you assisted in
rescuing his ship from the pirates, and his son from their weapons, I
am quite sure that he will rather seek to increase than diminish the
measure by which I would show the extent of the obligation you have
rendered. But, besides this, I have a natural affection for you, which
has been created by a knowledge of your amiable disposition and noble
character; and I should wish you always to be with me, that I might as
much as possible profit by the example of your good qualities; therefore
you must submit to the necessity of sharing my fortune, and of becoming
in every respect the equal of myself."
"This cannot be, Oriel," said the other mildly. "Allow me still the
same opportunities I have enjoyed of watching over your safety; and if,
through my care and attention you are enabled to return unharmed to
Eureka, and your sentiments in my favour remain the same, and she
shows no disinclination to their indulgence, I will offer no further
opposition."
"This is very strange of you," remarked Oriel Porphyry. "Very strange: I
cannot account for it, except I imagine that there is a sort of pride in
your nature that cannot accommodate itself to any thing in the shape of
favours from another."
"It is not that," replied the youth languidly. "Indeed, it is not
that. Your kindness has made upon me so deep an impression, and your
friendship has become so intimately commingled with all my sympathies,
that now I should find it a difficult matter to exist without them. But
there are causes which I cannot explain, that prevent my accepting your
generous proposals, independently of which there is nothing in what I
have done that deserves such a return. Remember that my duty here is
to endeavour to preserve you from every danger by which you may be
threatened. I have accepted an office, and I am bound to fulfil its
duties. In the part I played to effect your escape out of the power
of those wretches, I only performed what I had engaged myself to do;
and although my efforts to deceive your captors were repugnant to my
feelings, I continued the deception because I saw that there was no way
of effecting your liberation, but by practising deceit. Again, I assure
you, that Eureka will amply reward me (if a reward be necessary) for any
service I may be so fortunate as to be able to render you."
"But why am not I to be allowed to acknowledge the obligation according
to my own sense of your merit?" asked his patron.
"Because it is Eureka's chief pleasure," replied Zabra, with a faltering
voice, "to reward after her own fashion those whom she employs to serve
him to whom she is devoted; and surely you would not wish to deprive
her of a gratification to the enjoyment of which she puts forth, as you
acknowledge, so good a title."
"Well, well, I must reserve my gratitude for her then, I suppose," said
Oriel Porphyry. "But, of course, you will remain with me as you have
hitherto done."
"Till there shall be no longer any occasion for my stay," responded
the other. "While you love Eureka, there will always appear to me to
be a necessity for my remaining with you; but when your love for her
disappears, there will be no longer occasion for my presence."
"Love her I always shall, for I always must; so if your stay with me
depends upon the duration of my affection for her, we are not likely to
separate in this life," observed the young merchant.
"I would I were certain of it," murmured his companion.
"Of nothing ought you to be more assured," replied Oriel. "Were I
entirely to forget the dazzling beauty of her features, there is
an earnestness of purpose in her character which will make itself
remembered at all times. The nobility of her sentiments I honoured, by
endeavouring to become worthy of her greatness, and the confidence with
which I was treated excited in me a desire to act in such a manner as
should give her no cause to withdraw it. In her person there appeared
to me the avatar of all things noble, fond, and beautiful, and I did
it homage with so earnest a devotion that my respect soon became an
idolatry. I had no enjoyment except in her presence; I could find no
excellence from which she was absent. I honoured her above all honour. I
regarded her as the best as well as the dearest of human beings. I was
eloquent in her praise, and devout in her worship; and thus from day
to day passed the joyous time, teeming with happiness, and prodigal of
honours, till there seemed in the eyes of each to be no wealth and no
distinction worthy to be desired, which the other did not possess. Truly
was Eureka all the world to me. An empire was in her love, and all
honourable things were in her gift."
Zabra had listened attentively, but nothing save a brighter glow in his
lustrous eyes expressed the interest he took in the conversation. He did
not attempt to interrupt the speaker, and when the last sentence was
concluded he made no reply.
"Can you add nothing in her praise, Zabra?" asked Oriel Porphyry, after
a pause of a few minutes.
"She requires no praise, Oriel, certainly none from me," replied the
youth. "Your applause is no doubt gratifying to her--for the heart
that truly loves cannot exist but in the estimation of the lover. But
there is an eulogy beyond mere praise, for which the devoted are ever
desirous--the strong and earnest love, whose voice is action, and whose
language is sympathy."
"And that does she possess," rejoined his companion earnestly. "My
sympathies are with her at all times, and at every place, and there is
no act that I perform in which I do not consider the interpretation I
would have it bear in her affections. I am afraid, Zabra, this encounter
with the pirates has stirred up again all those ambitious notions I have
fostered with the design of achieving a renown worthy of her greatness.
Certainly my first efforts in traffic, among such mean scoundrels as
Boor and his brethren, did not give me so exalted an opinion of my
father's profession as he and others possess. But any opportunity like
the one which has thus accidentally fallen in my way will throw my blood
into a ferment, and make my spirit yearn after a fair field in which to
develope its energies, as they now exist. Yes, I feel as if I could only
live in a life of enterprise. Inaction seems to chain me down into a
slavish bondage; but when the weapon is in my grasp, and the motive
within my soul, an atmosphere of freedom breathes around me, and I rise
above the herd into something nearer the superiority to which I aspire."
"From what I saw of you in our late affray, I cannot help acknowledging
your capability for a leader," said the youth. "You looked as if you
were born to conquer. Your bearing was such as would induce thousands to
follow in your footsteps--and your weapon flashed annihilation in your
path."
"Pooh! it was a paltry enemy," replied Oriel disdainfully, "and they
were easily crushed; but let me be at the head of armies; let my
battle-field be a kingdom, and my enemy a tyrant, and then I will show
of what spirit I am made."
"That cannot be, Oriel," added the other. "You must be satisfied with
what you are; and as that condition is sufficiently honourable in the
eyes of Eureka, you ought not to indulge in more ambitious aspirations.
The risk you run in this life of enterprise should also be considered.
Remember that you would hourly be in danger of immediate death, and if
that were to happen where would be your ambition, and where would be
Eureka's happiness? No! it is a subject of congratulation that there are
no armies for you to lead, and no tyrants for you to conquer."
"There I think you are mistaken," cried his companion eagerly. "If I do
not misinterpret the signs of the times, there is a spirit stirring in
Columbia which will soon make itself evident in appearances that will
not a little alarm its weak and despotic ruler. There is a cloud over
the face of the whole country, and it will not be long before it break
out into a mighty storm. Then let them look to themselves. It will come
with a rush that must sweep away every obstacle before it. The whole
of our complicated machinery of misgovernment will be broken up into
fragments so small, that no future tyrant shall be able to patch it
together again--and then will come the day of reckoning for the people.
The task-masters will themselves be brought to task, and have to con the
lessons they have set others. I only wish to live to see that day. I
only wish to put myself forward in the movement--and lead the way that
shall give freedom to my fellow-citizens. I am confident of the result.
No power on earth can resist a mass of men struggling to break the bonds
by which they have been fettered, when the impetus by which they are set
in motion is properly directed; and for their chief I know, I feel I
have all the necessary qualifications. Then I should be in my proper
place. Then would the energies which now render my nature restless and
dissatisfied have ample scope for their developement--and then, Zabra,
my friend and brother, you should behold me performing such actions as
shall more worthily excite your admiration, than the inglorious one of
destroying a few wretched pirates."
"You almost convince me of the desirableness of seeing your visions of
glory realised," remarked Zabra, with increased animation. "I did not
imagine it would be possible; but when I listen to you, I find myself
wishing you to play the noble part for which you are so well fitted: but
then the thought of the dangers to which you will be exposed fills me
with dread. I know that in you Eureka has concentrated all her hopes of
happiness; and when I reflect upon the perils of the sort of life you
are desirous of leading, I fear that it will end in no good to either
her or you. But we will talk of this again at a future time. In what
state have you found the ship and her cargo?"
"The ship is as much changed as it is possible for any vessel to be,"
replied the merchant's son. "I scarcely knew the Albatross again.
Externally she has not suffered, but her interior accommodations
have been completely altered. She has been pierced for thirty guns,
all of which are ready for immediate use--a powder magazine has been
formed out of one of the cabins, which is abundantly stored with
ammunition--weapons of every description are piled up in immense
chests--and provisions for a long voyage have been carefully provided.
The cargo has not been touched. It is evident to me, that that scoundrel
Compass, or Death, or whatever his name was, imagined that I would join
him in his nefarious scheme to entrap my father's vessels; and as he
knew he could not find so good a market for his plunder by any other
plan, he fancied that I could be induced to assist him in its disposal.
Propositions of this nature he made to me; and although every time he
spoke on the subject I felt an inclination to hack him into shreds,
seeing the uselessness of any attempt at resistance, I concealed my
indignation as well as I could, till you communicated to me your plan
for our deliverance. I saw that it could not fail of success, if
ordinary vigilance was used; and my hatred of the miscreants by whom I
was detained led me to play my part in the deception, which was attended
with all the result we anticipated. Your wound is the only drawback to
the delight I feel at our escape."
"Oh, think not of that!" exclaimed the youth warmly: "it will soon be
healed."
"I hope so," responded Oriel. "As for the captain of the gang, I am
only sorry that I had not an opportunity of acknowledging to him my
obligations. But I think I have spoiled his career of piracy, that is
one subject for congratulation. His retreat is destroyed--he has no
vessel--and one half of his men are as well provided for as if the
hangman had done his duty. But he was a bold villain. If what he has
said of himself be true, he was fitted for better things; and from
what I remarked in him, I conclude his narrative was true, at least a
considerable portion of it. It appeared to me as if he only affected the
vulgarity of his associates; for there were times when his conversation
rose into something much superior to his ordinary language. It is
evident that his intention was to put to sea almost immediately, and
commence a new career of plunder and violence--happily we have been
enabled to disappoint him; and I intend, at the first port we touch at,
to add to our crew a sufficient number of able-bodied seamen, as will
not only work the ship effectively during her voyage, but will defend
her with resolution in case she should be attacked. Although I have not
more inclination for a mercantile life than when I first came on board
this vessel, I will not, in any way, unless it be unavoidable, diverge
from the path my father wishes me to pursue, until I return, and then I
shall expect to be allowed to follow my own inclinations, and choose my
own road to distinction."
"It must be so, I suppose," remarked Zabra. "Any opposition on my part
would be fruitless--nay, if it were not for the dangers which you must
encounter in a life of active warfare, I should be among the first to
approve of your ambitious desires--I should love to see you the creator
of your own glory--I should delight in the honours you would achieve--I
should rejoice in your renown--but I must think of her whom I serve,
who, although she would equally admire your greatness, could not avoid
thinking of the perils of the path by which only it can be acquired, and
must live in a state of constant anxiety while you were pursuing your
dangerous career. You do not think sufficiently of her feelings. Why
can you not be satisfied with inheriting the fame and wealth of your
admirable father, and the happiness which must surely be your own as
long as you prove yourself anxious for its possession?"
"Why does the sun shine?--why does the tide ebb and flow?" said Oriel
hastily. "They follow the end for which they were made, and the same
absolute law compels me to make out the purposes for which I was
created. There is nothing so unreasonable as expecting one human being
to become like another whose nature is entirely opposite to his. I have
known inconsiderate persons say to one whose disposition is restless and
dissatisfied, and whose inclinations are violent and ungovernable,
'Look at such a one--he is content with his condition, and goes on his
own quiet way, creating no desire that cannot easily be indulged; why
cannot you be like him?'--as easily might the mountain torrent be made
like the stream of the valley. One flows on its own level course,
meeting with no obstruction, and the other, at every portion of its
path, is forced to dash itself against the unrelenting rocks that oppose
its progress. And how unjust is the manner in which each individual is
regarded! one is praised for continuing its unvarying tranquillity--and
the other is censured for the unceasing turmoil in which it exists.
This is preposterous. No more have such characters made their own
dispositions than the stream made the level land through which it flows,
or the torrent created the rocks over which it leaps. Dam up the gentle
rivulet with huge masses of stone, and see how quickly it will become as
much troubled as its unjustly abused associate of the mountain; and take
the rocks from the path of the torrent, and the quietude with which it
will pursue its course will rival the tranquillity of its over-lauded
brother of the valley. If there is any praise due at all it is to him
who struggles on against all impediments, and shows that his spirit is
not to be put down by the obstacles that retard his progress. Complain
of his being restless and dissatisfied--how can he be any thing else,
when his soul is kept in a constant fret by the worry of continual
opposition? Say that his inclinations are violent and ungovernable--can
it ever be otherwise, when they are daily accumulating in force, because
they are allowed no opportunity for indulgence? Nothing can be more
unjust to a man thus situated than to tell him to endeavour to be like
another, whose situation is as opposite to his as are the poles to one
another; and nothing can be more unwise than to complain of this man,
because his disposition does not resemble that of another, whose way of
life, and habits of thinking, and hopes and passions, are as different
to his as any two sets of things can possibly be made. As for me, I am
what I am--neither better nor worse. Let those who think me worse than
I am keep to themselves their evil thoughts, that the force of ill
opinion does not make me become what they unjustly imagine me to be; but
let those who think me better than I am proclaim to me their flattering
testimonials, that, knowing what excellences they fancy I possess, I
may use every exertion to deem myself worthy of their good opinion,
and at last succeed in obtaining the very qualities for which I was
undeservedly honoured by their too indulgent regard."
"Ah, Oriel!" replied his young companion affectionately, "you know it
would be difficult for any one who knows you well to imagine a quality
of good you have not made your own."
"If I listen to you, I must be content to remain what I am," said Oriel
Porphyry, as he rose to take his leave. "And as such a state of things
does not satisfy me, to prevent myself being spoiled for any better
purpose, I must, for the present, leave you--of course with my best
wishes for your speedy recovery."
"Thank you, Oriel, thank you!" exclaimed Zabra warmly, returning the
affectionate pressure of the hand he at that moment received, and
following, with his eyes overflowing with his friendly feelings, the
retreating form of his kind and generous patron.
CHAP. II.
AUSTRALIAN CIVILISATION.
Time had passed. The vessel had gone gallantly on her voyage, and was
now quietly riding at anchor in the port of Sydney, the magnificent
metropolis of the great empire of Australia. Oriel Porphyry had landed
to transact business with an individual of some note in that part of
the world. Posthumous was an extensive manufacturer, who had amassed an
immense fortune by a mechanical discovery he had purchased, by means of
which one machine was made to do the work of ten; and the funds at his
disposal he employed in forming a museum, which he intended leaving,
at his death, for the benefit of his country. His love of fame was
his ruling passion; and to acquire it he seemed inclined to make any
sacrifice. He accumulated every thing which he considered rare or
curious for his museum; but, as he was no judge of the value of
the collection he was forming, he often purchased things perfectly
worthless, merely because they were recommended to him as objects that
might be regarded with the greatest interest by posterity. To all who
visited him, his pride was to exhibit his collection; and, although none
were more ignorant of its real nature than himself, none could expatiate
so much at length upon its merits. He was a walking catalogue--a talking
index--a living table of contents; and he seemed as if he knew of no
pleasure that did not allow him to display his museum and gossip about
every specimen it contained.
Oriel and Zabra were walking together to the residence of the person
thus described, when the former, doubtful as to whether he was pursuing
the right direction, observing a man leaning against a post near a
crossing at a short distance, went up to him for the purpose of making
inquiries as to the exact locality of the place of which he was in
search. The man was a street sweeper. His broom was beside him; and he
was so intent upon a book he appeared to be studying, that Oriel noticed
its title. It was "Geometry for Beggars."
"Pray can you direct me to Botany Square?" inquired the young merchant.
"Botany Square is an ellipsis," replied the matter-of-fact sweeper; "but
if the transverse, conjugate, and abscissa are known, it is easy to find
the ordinate. To proceed to it from this point requires a right line to
where the next street appears at a right angle with it, whence, going
along any part of its superficies, you will approach where the sides of
three streets form an isosceles triangle; take the one side nearest to
you in its whole extent, which having found, describe the area of a
trapezium, whose diagonal is equal to twice its perpendiculars; and from
the centre continue a right line till you approach a trapezoid whose
sides are parallel; and from this, diverging in such a manner as to
construct a hyperbola, if straight lines be drawn from the centre
through the extremities of its conjugate axis, these will lead direct
to the ellipsis you are desirous of finding."
"Can you direct me to Botany Square?" again asked Oriel Porphyry,
puzzled to think whether the man was mad or did not understand his
question.
"Botany Square is an ellipsis, I tell you again," said the geometrician
rather sharply; "and Euclid himself could not have described to you a
more accurate method of finding it than that you have just heard from
me. Work the problem properly, and the result must be what you require.
All the parts are equal to the whole; the greater includes the less;
and of several equal parts all are alike: and these propositions are
not more true than is the answer I have given to your query; therefore
allow me to hope that you will, in consideration of the accuracy of my
analysis, find the perpendicular of your pocket, subtract from its base
any circle whose circumference is a known quantity, and place it within
the superficies of my hand."
"He's mad!" exclaimed Oriel, walking on.
"He's minus!" cried the beggar, and returned to his geometry.
The two pedestrians continued on their way, wondering not a little at
meeting with the strange character with whom they had just parted, when,
upon entering the next street, they observed a confused mass of people
running to and fro, shouting and making a most discordant uproar.
"Can you tell me the cause of this disturbance?" inquired Oriel
Porphyry, addressing a respectable looking mechanic who was hurrying
past him.
"The cause?" replied the stranger, immediately stopping in his career.
"The cause is always the phenomenon which precedes the effect.
Philosophers have disputed about the most appropriate definition of the
term; but in any system of transcendental ideas there must always be an
antecedency and a subsequency; and although they have been considered
synchronous in their existence, in my opinion the effect is to the cause
what the shadow is to the light--the shadow is not in the light, but is
produced by the operation of the light upon an object; so the effect
is not in the cause, but is produced by the action of the cause upon
an agent. Some metaphysicians conceive that the relation of cause and
effect should be considered as a synthetical judgment _à priori_--a
postulate of pure reason. In my opinion, this idea is open to many
objections; but I will avoid all argument on that point for the present,
and merely go into an analysis of the nature of causation. There are
three indispensable conditions to any philosophical theory of causation.
In the first place, there are two objects--the agent and the patient.
Secondly, there are three changes, which are--that of the agent, reason
of the effect; that of the patient, effect of the action; that which is
produced by the patient on the agent, and the effect of re-action. And,
thirdly, there are four distinct moments, which are--that which leads
to the action, that which commences with it, that of the re-action, and
that which immediately follows the re-action. And----"
"And pray, sir, what has all this to do with the disturbance about
which I inquired?" said the young merchant, as much puzzled with the
mechanic as he was by the beggar.
"You asked for the cause, and I am explaining to you all the phenomena
which a cause may produce," responded the other. "But I regret I cannot
stop to describe to you my original ideas on the subject. If you are
anxious to apply your mind to their investigation, you will find them
in the Philosophical Chimney-sweep's Penny Magazine; and if I can be
of service to you in any other way, you can always command me on the
shortest notice, and on the most reasonable terms." So saying, he placed
a card in Oriel's hand, and was very quickly out of sight. The card
was of a pink colour, was glazed and embossed; and on it was elegantly
engraved, "Leibnitz Kant Chummy, Chimney-sweep and Nightman to the Royal
Family, in all its branches." The two friends found quite as much wonder
as amusement in what they had heard.
"I had been told that these Australians were the most enlightened people
on the earth," remarked Oriel; "but I certainly never expected to be
mystified after this fashion by two individuals belonging to the very
lowest ranks, upon merely asking a simple question."
"Perhaps they are exceptions to the mass," replied Zabra; "and every one
else we meet we shall doubtless find as common-place as we require. Try
this old fish-woman: it will be extraordinary, indeed, if you meet with
either geometry or metaphysics in her."
Oriel approached a female whose sex was scarcely distinguishable, as
she squatted by a basket of fish, in a man's old great coat and hat.
She observed a stranger advancing towards her; and, believing him to
be a customer, she held up one of her fish so as to put all its good
qualities into the best situation for minute inspection.
"Fine and fresh--worthy to make a dinner for a prince!" she exclaimed.
"My good woman, can you tell me the attraction which brings all these
people together?" asked Oriel Porphyry.
In a moment the old hag put down her fish, and, with the seriousness of
a Socrates, replied, "There are three kinds of attraction; which are,
the mathematical, the mathematico-physical, and the physical attraction:
of which of these do you require a definition?"
"Confound the people, they're all alike!" exclaimed the young merchant;
but the old dame, without noticing the exclamation, continued:--
"Suppose A to be a glass of any comfortable liquor with which you may
feel inclined to treat me, and B my mouth, which is at all times very
desirous of a coalition with the same. When A moves towards B, it is
evident that B has the power directly or indirectly of drawing or
attracting A; and when you notice this, and measure the law of the
motion, and discover that A moves as if attracted towards B by some
simple law, you will easily be enabled to ascertain what will take place
if the motion continue. This is mathematical attraction. When it becomes
evident that A not only moves towards B, but that B is an agent in
the motion created, as, to satisfy the thirst or inclination of B,
A is attracted towards it, A always moving where there is thirst
or inclination, but never where neither exist, then this is called
mathematico-physical attraction. And when, by a power existing in B, A
is drawn towards it without any other exciting cause; thus, if nothing
else in the world existed but A and B in a state of rest, and A move
towards B by some influence which is as much a part of its nature as its
thirst or inclination, then would be created what is called physical
attraction. And now, for a trifle, I will give you the most convincing
demonstration of the _modus operandi_ of all these phenomena."
"Perdition seize your A and B, I say!" cried Oriel, as he hastily left
the old woman to her philosophy.
"An exemplification of repulsion!" muttered she, as she again commenced
endeavouring to dispose of her fish.
Oriel and his companion had entered a street of shops, in which they had
no sooner made their appearance than they were surrounded by a crowd
of tradespeople, bawling in their ears the excellence and cheapness of
their commodities, and endeavouring to pull or entice them into their
warehouses, the exteriors of which were covered with immense placards,
proclaiming the ruin of the sellers, and the advantages which in
consequence would accrue to the fortunate buyers.
"Full fifty per cent. under cost price!" cried one.
"A hundred per cent. below the cost, be assured!" shouted another.
"I must be ruined in a week, sir!" proclaimed a third, as if rejoicing
at the near approach of his destruction.
"I _am_ ruined!" screamed a fourth, in a tone of emphatic exultation.
"My family must starve!" exclaimed a fifth, without the slightest
expression of regret.
"My family _are_ starving!" confessed a sixth, as if it was a subject of
the greatest congratulation.
"I have seven children, sir!" whispered a little man, apparently as the
most enticing recommendation of his goods.
"I have a wife and ten!" bawled a companion, in a voice of triumph that
seemed to silence all competition.
"This way, sir!"
"No; this way!"
"The best goods!"
"The very best!"
"Mine are the cheapest!"
"Mine are much cheaper!"
And thus they went on shouting at and pulling the two young men
about, till they were obliged to seek refuge in one of the shops;
but immediately they entered the threshold, the whole body of eager
applicants for custom left the strangers to the care of their more
fortunate fellow-tradesman.
"Really you shopkeepers seem inclined to tear your customers to pieces,"
observed Oriel Porphyry with considerable indignation.
"Merely the effect of competition, sir," coolly replied the chapman,
spreading out his wares for inspection.
"Then it is a competition that must be exceedingly disagreeable to the
purchaser," said the young merchant.
"Can't be helped, sir," added the man in the same careless tone. "When
the supply exceeds the demand, the value of this overproduction must
greatly diminish; and every attempt will be made to produce, at any
loss, an increased consumption. How many pairs of these gloves would you
like to have, sir? You shall have them at a small advance beyond the
cost of their carriage from the place in which they were manufactured."
"But I have no cash about me," acknowledged Oriel, thinking it would be
sufficient to avoid a purchase that was not necessary.
"Not of the slightest consequence, sir. I will gladly give you credit to
any amount," said the obliging tradesman.
"Indeed! why I am a perfect stranger in the country," observed his
unwilling customer with much surprise.
"No matter, sir," added the other; "public credit must be supported;
all business transactions are done upon its responsibility. Ready money
is destructive of all the true interests of trade; for, as capital in
a state overcrowded in population can never be created in a supply
sufficient for the wants of the community, the surest way of preventing
those dangerous revolutions which so often affect the monied interests
of a great commercial nation is to trade entirely with fictitious
capital. This is credit, sir; and we use every means within our power
to create it to an extent sufficient to supply all our wants, and
to support it in all its sufficiency when it is established. The
manufacturer supplies the wholesale dealer; the wholesale dealer
provides the retail tradesman; and the retail tradesman carries on his
business with his customers upon the sure foundation of credit. Not a
coin is seen in the hands of either party from one year's end to the
other; and a man's wealth is known not by the mere exchangeable property
he possesses, but by the extent of the credit he is allowed. Political
economy is a wonderful science, sir; and the ancients were entirely
ignorant of its true principles. Shall I put you up a few dozen of
these stockings? the price, I assure you, does not pay for the raw
material."
"Well, well; as you seem desirous of ruining yourself, I do not see that
I ought to stand in your way; so you may let me have a dozen pairs of
the stockings and of the gloves," said Master Porphyry.
"Thank you, sir," replied the tradesman. "But as for ruin, sir, is it
not done for the public good? Think what a man having a wife and ten
children to support must feel when he knows that he has reduced them and
himself to absolute starvation for the advantage of the community--for
the greatest happiness of the greatest number, sir. Beautiful feeling,
sir; exquisite consolation; a perfect patriotism! He knows that he
becomes a martyr for his country. Think of that, sir! He is conscious of
being made a victim for the general advantage. Think of that, sir! And
while his skin and bones hang together, he feels the sweet solace that
he is allowed to make himself a sacrifice for the wants of those who
never heard of his name. Think of that, sir! Any other article, sir?"
"Not at present. It is wonderful to me how, in such a state of things,
men can be brought to enter into the pursuits of trade," observed his
customer.
"All the effect of competition, sir," answered the man quietly. "Fine
thing competition. We should none of us enjoy the satisfaction of being
ruined, if it was not for competition; and the beautiful principle of it
is, sir, that it makes a man consider that he is greatest honoured who
is soonest ruined; therefore we all run a race--and a very anxious race
it is, I assure you. We undersell each other--we dispose of our goods
at a certain loss--we even give them away--and happy is the man who is
ruined before his rivals. Admirable thing, competition! Where shall I
send them, sir?"
"Send them to Master Porphyry, on board the ship Albatross, now in the
harbour, and I will call and pay you before I depart," replied the young
merchant.
"Don't hurry yourself, sir," said the tradesman. "Don't hurry yourself,
I entreat. Nay, I should be just as well pleased were you to forget it
altogether, for then I shall be a step nearer to the honour I so much
covet--the distinction of being ruined before any other person in the
same line of business in my immediate neighbourhood. I am grateful
to you for your favours. Any thing you may require, sir--the most
extensive order you can give me I shall be happy to supply on the same
advantageous terms. Any thing you like to accept, sir, is at your
disposal. I implore you to have the generosity to assist in my ruin."
Zabra and his companion, at last, with great difficulty, got out of the
shop, and proceeded, unmolested, on their way, till they came to an
opening in the street, where several men seemed to be preaching from
little elevations, each to his own separate congregation, yet frequently
alluding to their coadjutors, in such terms as clearly proved that they
were rivals in the trade they had adopted.
"Come, my children, to me, and I will expound to you the law by which
alone you can be saved from everlasting punishment," exclaimed a fat
faced little old man to his audience. "Fly from the things of this
world--pay your teachers liberally--care not for eating or drinking, or
amusing yourselves with idle pleasures, and you shall live in eternal
happiness!"
"Fire and brimstone! Flame and torment! Prepare for these, my beloved
brethren!" shouted a lank fellow with a most hypocritical physiognomy.
"Ye who are the elect shall enjoy the good things, but scorching and
burning shall be the everlasting portion of those who are not of our
communion."
"Heed not the voices of ungodly men, to whom the evangelical grace has
not descended," cried a stern-visaged preacher. "Our way is a way of
mercy, a way of charity, and a way of peace. But rejoice, oh my hearers!
for the time is not afar off when we will smite the unbelievers from
shoulder to hip, till their name be utterly removed from the land."
"Hear a voice which none can understand, but which is sent to
enlighten the universe," screamed one, whose brilliant eyes and
wild expression of countenance seemed marked by the influence of
insanity--"Hu--ugh--hullabaloo--scrikey-smash--drido--snolk--hi ha
botherum--pickwickicksicceriggidiggy----"
"I tell thee, friend, thy way is the way of perdition, humph," exclaimed
another, with a nasal twang, and a clean sleek appearance. "Verily it is
the way of the bottomless pit. There is no virtue save under a beaver
with a broad brim, humph! and the spirit can only be found in vestments
of a formal cut, and of a drab colour, humph!"
"Leave those heretics, my children, who can only hurry you on the road
of iniquity, and enter the bosom of the true church," shouted a brawny
fellow in the dress of a mendicant. "Here is holy water, and here are
relics that have the power of saving your souls from purgatory."
"Abominations--abominations--the abominations of the scarlet one
of Babylon!" cried one opposite to him with looks of horror and
indignation. "Leave them, and I will sprinkle water upon you, which
will render you a sheep of our fold."
"Sprinkling is of no avail!" shrieked a melancholy fanatic. "Come
and be dipped--come and be dipped into the waters of everlasting
righteousness."
"Oh, Fader Aprahams!--Fader Aprahams!" said a dark visaged old man with
a long beard, as he smote his breast, and turned up his eyes to heaven.
"How long shall these obstacles remain in the way of thy chosen!"
"Down with the Jew!" bawled the rest in hideous chorus--"Down with the
unrelenting Jew! Our religion is one of universal love. Cut the Jew into
a thousand pieces, and cast him to the dogs!"
"Let us leave these miserable brawlers," exclaimed Oriel, hurrying
his companion from the spot. "Truly has my father said that the only
religion is philanthropy, and the only worship of God consists in doing
good to man. Nothing annoys me so much as observing a parcel of noisy
fellows sowing dissension around them on the hypocritical pretence of
teaching the surest means of saving sinners from perdition. Disputes
about religion, entered into by persons professing different forms of
faith, may be compared to the wranglings of a party of men concerning
the excellence of different roads in a country of the geography of which
all are ignorant."