I seize a few moments to acknowledge your letter. This is a period of
waiting, of silence. Nothing seems alive. All oracles are silent. But
the great clock of the Universe still goes on, unheeding. On Sunday I
engaged in Meditation and received some benefit. I wished I could see
you to speak of it. Yet these things are too high for words, and when
we approach the subjects we are not able to give expression to our
thoughts. We do not live up to our highest soul possibilities. All that
prevents our reaching up to the high thoughts of the far past is our
own weakness, and not the work of any other. How petty seem the cares
of this earth when we indulge in deep reflection; they are then seen
for what they are, and later on they are obliterated. It is true that
the road to the gods is dark and difficult, and, as you say, we get
nothing from them at first call; we have to call often. But we can on
the way stop to look ahead, for no matter how sombre or howsoever weak
ourselves, the Spectator sees it all and beckons to us, and whispers,
"Be of good courage, for I have prepared a place for you where you will
be with me forever." He is the Great Self; He is ourselves.
The Leaders of the world are always trying to aid us. May we pass the
clouds and see them ever. All our obstructions are of our own making.
All our power is the storage of the past. That store we all must have;
who in this life feels it near is he who has in this life directed his
thoughts to the proper channel. That others do not feel it is because
they have lived but blindly. That you do not feel it and see it more is
because you have not yet directed all your mental energies to it. This
great root of Karmic energy can be drawn upon by directing the fire
of our minds in that direction. Towards Love of course is the right
way; the Love of the Divine and of all beings. If we feel that after
all we are not yet "Great Souls" who participate in the totality of
those "Souls who wait upon the gods," it need not cast us down: we are
waiting our hour in hope. Let us wait patiently, in the silence which
follows all effort, knowing that thus Nature works, for in her periods
of obscuration she does naught where that obscuration lies, while
doubtless she and we too are then at work on other spheres.
That described by you is not the soul; it is only a partial experience.
Did you know the Soul, then could you yourself reply to all those
questions, for all knowledge is there. In the soul is every creature
and every thought alike. That sinking down of your thoughts to the
center is practice. It can be done and we cannot explain it; we can
only say "do it." Still do not hunger to do these things. The first
step in _becoming_ is Resignation. Resignation is the sure, true, and
royal road. Our subtle motives, ever changing, elude us when we seek
it. You are near to it; it needs a great care. But while the body may
be requiring time to feel its full results, we can instantly change the
attitude of the mind. After Resignation, follow (in their own order)
Satisfaction, Contentment, Knowledge. Anxiety to do these things is
an obscurant and deterrent. So try to acquire patient Resignation.
The lesson intended by the Karma of your present life is _the higher
patience_. I can tell you nothing on this head; it is a matter for self
and practice. Throw away every wish to get the power, and seek only for
understanding of thyself. Insist on carelessness. Assert to yourself
that it is not of the slightest consequence what you were yesterday,
but in every moment strive for that moment; the results will follow of
themselves.
The Past! What is it? Nothing. Gone! Dismiss it. You are the past of
yourself. Therefore it concerns you not as such. It only concerns you
as you now are. In you, as now you exist, lies _all_ the past. So
follow the Hindu maxim: "Regret nothing; never be sorry; and cut all
doubts with the sword of spiritual knowledge." Regret is productive
only of error. I care not what I _was_, or what any one _was_. I only
look for what I am each moment. For as each moment is and at once is
not, it must follow that if we think of the past we forget the present,
and while we forget, the moments fly by us, making more past. Then
regret nothing, not even the greatest follies of your life, for they
are gone, and you are to work in the present which is both past and
future at once. So then, with that absolute knowledge that all your
limitations are due to Karma, past or in this life, and with a firm
reliance ever now upon Karma as the only judge, who will be good or
bad as you make it yourself, you can stand anything that may happen
and feel serene despite the occasional despondencies which all feel,
but which the light of Truth always dispels. This verse always settles
everything:
"In him who knows that all spiritual beings are the same in kind with
the Supreme Being, what room can there be for delusion and what room
for sorrow when he reflects upon the unity of spirit?"
In all these inner experiences there are tides as well as in the ocean.
We rise and fall. Anon the gods descend, and then they return to
heaven. Do not _think_ of getting them to descend, but strive to raise
_yourself_ higher on the road down which they periodically return,
and thus get nearer to them, so that you shall in fact receive their
influences sooner than before.
Adios. May you ever feel the surge of the vast deeps that lie beyond
the heart's small ebb. Perhaps our comrades are coming nearer. Who
knows? But even if not, then we will wait; the sun must burst some day
from the clouds. This will keep us strong while, in the company of the
Dweller of the Threshold, we have perforce to stare and sham awhile.