"Cricket was a far superior game to golf or tennis," said Lord KNUTSFORD
to the members of the Victoria Park Cricket Association; and he went on
to tell a story of the first introduction of cricket to Tonga, one of
the Pacific Islands. Everybody took up the game so heartily that State
affairs were allowed to slide altogether, and at last the King of TONGA
had to lay down rules as to the times when the game might be indulged
in. "Even then the Prime Minister was with difficulty prevented from
bowling during forbidden hours." For Tonga read Westminster--where a
good deal of _tongue_--ah!--goes on--and we get a result something like
this:--
"After the usual luncheon interval, the Leader of the Opposition and the
ex-Umpire-General faced the delivery of the First Commissioner of Stumps
and the Scorin' Secretary. The punishment inflicted by the former on the
bowling led to a Cabinet crisis, ending in the Secretary of State
resigning his office and the leather to the Lord High Wicket-keep. The
result of this change was soon apparent, for the Leader of the
Opposition was clean bowled by a quotation from _Hansard_, and his place
was taken by a prominent member from below the Opposition Gangway.
"As the score still mounted, the Ministry decided to apply the Closure
to the game, an effort which was resisted by the whole force of the
Opposition, armed with pads and wickets. During the all-night innings
which ensued the Prime Minister retired hurt, and the Ministry were
finally driven into the Pavilion, where they expressed a decided
intention, in consequence of the underhand bowling of their opponents,
of at once appealing to the country. The Committee of Lords' has placed
its veto on these disorderly proceedings, and 'Down with the Lords' is
likely to be the Ministerial rallying-cry during the forthcoming
Election."
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A LITERARY DISCOVERY.--It has been hitherto thought that only two "G. O.
M.'s" existed, the one, _par excellence_, being _The_ G. O. M., and the
other, the Right Hon. G. O. MORGAN. But there _is_ a third, and he is
GE-O M(EREDITH). No more at present.
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TITLE FOR A TEMPERANCE TALE.--Under
the Red Nose!
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