In olden times--in the times of the Bible--men believed that animals
sometimes used human language, and that beasts were wiser than their
masters. I'm not now going to question that belief, but still I don't
think that nowadays one-half of us would take the word of a horse on any
important subject. You must remember, however, that it took an ass to
know an angel at first sight in Balaam's time. Balaam never suspected
that there was an angel in his path until that ass told him! In those
days, on a little matter like that, the word of any beast seemed to be
taken as good evidence.
But let a mule jam his rider's foot against a wall, nowadays, and then
lie down under him, and there is not one man in ten who would associate
that fact in his mind with the presence of an angel. I suppose, however,
there wasn't as much known about mules then as there is now; and most
asses were of a more pious turn of mind.
I don't suppose there is one intelligent man in this city who believes
that story, and yet he is not a good Christian if he questions it.
Show me a locality where actual belief--where old time orthodoxy--is
looked upon as a requisite of good citizenship and standing in society,
and you will show me a place where intellectual development and rapid
progress have died or gone to sleep!
The most ignorant and backward parts of this great country, the
localities where Congress is asking for better and more secular schools
to be established as a means of safety to the state, are situated in the
very States where orthodoxy holds absolute sway. In those states a
man is looked upon as a very dangerous character if he questions the
accuracy of that story about those three hot-house plants, Shadrach,
Meshach, and Abednego. Yes, the people of that pious region would be
afraid of a man who was wicked enough to laugh at that yarn; and yet do
you believe there is a man in this city who could make you believe it?
And you don't look dangerous either; and I don't think that I do.
It seems that when they used to run ashore for big scare-stories, they
just poked up the fire and went into the blastfurnace business--here and
hereafter. But--seeing that a furnace--a real one--heated seven times
hotter than it takes to melt iron, did not injure those three tropical
innocents--did not even singe their eye-brows--it does look a little as
if we should stand a pretty fair show with the spiritual fuel they now
promise us hereafter. Still I must say I don't believe I should like the
climate.
Speaking of Bible arguments, I must tell you of a new one I heard
recently. A gentleman acquaintance of mine asked a colored woman, who
had applied to him for money to help build a colored people's church,
whether she thought God was black or white. She replied that the Bible
implied that he was black--that it said, "And His wool shall be whiter
than snow;" and that _white men don't have wool!_