10. When she was at school, she was eminent for her diligence,
teachableness, meekness, and modesty, speaking little, but when she did
speak, it was usually spiritual.
11. She continued in this course of religious duties for some years
together.
12. When she was about fourteen years old, she broke a vein in her
lungs, (as is supposed,) and often spat blood, yet did a little recover.
13. In the beginning of January, she was taken very bad again, in which
sickness she was in great distress of soul. When she was first taken,
she said, "O mother, pray for me, for Satan is so busy that I cannot
pray for myself; I see I am undone without Christ, and a pardon! O, I am
undone to all eternity!"
14. Her mother, knowing how serious she had been formerly, did a little
wonder that she should be in such agonies; and asked her what sin it was
that was so burdensome to her spirit? "O mother," said she, "it is not
any particular sin that sticks so close to my conscience, as the sin of
my nature: without the blood of Christ that will damn me."
15. Her mother asked her what she should pray for, for her? She
answered, "That I may have a saving knowledge of Jesus Christ; and that
I may have an assurance of God's love to my soul." Her mother asked her
why she spoke so little to the minister that came to her? She answered,
"It was her duty with patience and silence to learn of him."
16. One time when she fell into a fit, she cried out, "O I am going; I
am going: but what shall I do to be saved? Lord Jesus, I will lie at thy
feet; and if I perish, it shall be at the fountain of thy mercy."
17. She was much afraid of presumption, and dreaded a mistake in the
matters of her soul, and would be often putting up ejaculations to God,
to deliver her from deceiving herself. To instance in one, "Great and
mighty God," said she, "let my faith be a true faith; that I may not be
a foolish virgin, having a lamp, but no oil."
18. Her father bade her be of good cheer, because she was going to a
better Father; at which she fell into a great agony, and said, "But how
do I know that? I am a poor sinner, who wants assurance; O for
assurance!"
This was her great, earnest, and constant request to all who came to
her, to beg assurance for her; and she would look with so much eagerness
upon them, as if she desired nothing in the world so much as that they
would pity her, and help her with their prayers. Never was a poor
creature more earnest for any thing than she was for assurance and the
light of God's countenance. O the piteous moan that she would make! O
the agony that her soul was in!
19. The Lord's day before that on which she died, a kinsman of hers came
to see her, and asked her whether she knew him? She answered, "Yes, I
know you, and I desire you would learn to know Christ. You are young,
but you know not how soon you may die! and, O, to die without Christ is
a fearful thing! O, redeem time! O, time, time, precious time!" Being
requested by him not to spend herself, she said, "She would fain do all
the good she could while she lived;" upon which account she desired that
a sermon might be preached at her funeral, concerning the preciousness
of time.
20. Some ministers who came to see her earnestly entreated the Lord to
give her some token for good, that she might die in full triumph: notes
of the same nature were sent to several churches.
21. After she had long waited for an answer to their prayers, she said,
"Well, I will venture my soul upon Christ."
22. Considering the pains and agonies that she was in, her patience was
next to a wonder: "Lord," said she, "Lord, give me patience, that I may
not dishonour thee!"
23. On Thursday, after long waiting, great fears, and many prayers, when
all her friends thought she had been past speaking, to the astonishment
of her friends, she broke forth thus, with a very audible voice, and
cheerful countenance: "Lord, thou hast promised that whosoever come unto
thee thou wilt in no wise cast them out: Lord, I come unto thee, and
surely thou wilt in no wise cast me out; O, so precious! O, so glorious
is Jesus! I have thee! Blessed and glorious is Jesus; he is precious, he
is precious! O, the admirable love of God in sending Christ and free
grace to a poor lost creature!"
24. Her soul then seemed ravished with the love of Christ. And while she
was engaged in magnifying of God, her father, brothers, and sisters,
with others of the family, were called, to whom she spake particularly
as her strength would give leave. She gave her Bible as a legacy to one
of her brothers, and desired him to use that well for her sake; and
added, to him and the rest, "O make use of time to get Christ for your
souls: spend no time in running up and down, or in playing: O get Christ
for your souls while you are young! Remember now your Creator before you
come to a sick bed: put not off this great work till then, for then you
will find it hard work indeed: I know by experience the devil will tell
you it is time enough; and you are young, and what need you be in such
haste? you will have time enough when you are old. But remember the
words of a dying sister. If you knew how good Christ is! if you had but
one taste of his sweetness, you had rather go to him a thousand times
than stay in this wicked world. I would not for ten thousand worlds part
with my interest in Christ. O, how happy am I that I am going to
everlasting joys! I would not go back again for twenty thousand worlds;
and will you not strive to get an interest in Christ?"
25. After this, looking upon one of her father's servants, she said,
"What shall I do at the great day, when Christ shall say to me, 'Come,
thou blessed of my Father, inherit the kingdom prepared for thee?' and
shall say to the wicked, 'Go, thou cursed, into the lake that burns for
ever!' What a grief is it for me to think that I should see any of my
friends that I knew upon earth, turned into that lake which burns for
ever! O that word, for ever! Remember that for ever! I speak these words
to you, but they are nothing except God speaks to you too: O pray that
God would give you grace!" And then she prayed, "O Lord, finish thy work
upon their souls: it will be my comfort to see you in glory; but it will
be your everlasting happiness."
26. On Friday, after she had had such lively discoveries of God's love,
she was exceedingly desirous to die, and cried out, "Come, Lord Jesus,
come quickly! Conduct me to thy tabernacle. I am a poor creature without
thee; but, Lord Jesus, my soul longs to be with thee: O when shall it
be? Why not now, blessed Jesus? Come, Lord Jesus, come quickly! But why
do I thus speak? Thy time, my Lord, is the best: O, give me patience."
27. On Saturday she spoke but little, being very drowsy, yet now and
then she dropped these words, "How long, O blessed Jesus? Finish thy
work, holy Jesus: come away, Lord Jesus, come quickly!"
28. On the Lord's day she scarcely spoke any thing. She requested that
notes of thanksgiving might be sent to those who had formerly prayed for
her, that they might help her to praise the Lord for that full assurance
which he had given her of his love; and seemed to be swallowed up with
the thoughts of God's free love to her soul. She often commended her
spirit into the hand of the Lord. The last words she was heard to utter
were these, "Lord, help, Lord Jesus, help! my Lord Jesus, blessed
Jesus!" Thus on the Lord's day, between nine and ten o'clock in the
evening, she sweetly slept in Jesus, and began an everlasting Sabbath,
February 19, 1670.