The time had come for Miss Layton to leave S----, as she had only taken
the school for the summer term, and there was a male teacher engaged
for the winter. Poor Ella was greatly distressed at the thought of
losing her friend. "O Miss Layton," said she, "what shall I do when you
are gone? I will have nobody to help me to be good, and nobody to love
me."
"Yes, Ella, your aunt loves you very much indeed; she told me so
herself."
"Did she?" exclaimed Ella, looking up in astonishment, "I thought she
didn't like me at all. She never kisses me, nor tells me she loves
me, like mamma used to do, and she's always scolding me and telling
me what a troublesome child I am. Are you _sure_ she loves me, Miss
Layton?"
"Yes, Ellie, _quite_ sure, and you must try to believe it and to love
her in return. She means it all for your good when she scolds you, and
you must try to bear it patiently."
"O Miss Layton," sobbed Ella, "how _can_ I ever be good when you are
gone?"
"And why should you not, Ellie, just as well as when I am here?"
"Because you're patient and kind, and you seem pleased, and praise me
when I do right."
"Ah Ella, don't you remember the other day you told me you thought you
had been trying to please God all these weeks that you have been so
good, and I told you then that I was afraid you were only trying to
please me? And now, my dear child, do you not see that I was right?
A desire to please your friends, Ella, is a good motive, but it is
not the best. You must learn to do right because it _is_ right, and
pleasing in the sight of God. It is easy to deceive our friends and
ourselves, but we cannot deceive God. He looks at the motives--at the
feelings and desires of the heart, while we can see only the outward
conduct. Dear Ella, I wish I could see you a child of God, striving to
please him in all your ways."
"I do mean to try to be good when you're gone, Miss Layton; but I know
I can't."
"Not if you try in your own strength, Ella; but you must ask help of
God. Ask him to give you a new heart, my child--a heart that will hate
sin, because it is so displeasing to him--a heart loving holiness, and
earnestly desiring to please and glorify God. And if you ask these
things with your whole heart, and in the name and for the sake of Jesus
Christ, God will hear and grant your petitions, for he says, 'Ask and
ye shall receive; seek and ye shall find; knock and it shall be opened
unto you.' And he tells us that he is more willing to give his Holy
Spirit to them that ask him, than parents are to give good gifts unto
their children.
"You try to please _me_, Ella, because you love me; but, O my child,
how much more ought you to love your Saviour! I have shown you a
little kindness, but what is that compared with what Jesus has done
for you? Think how he left that beautiful heaven, and came down to our
little world, and suffered, and bled, and died, that he might save you
and me. O Ella, how can we help loving him with all our hearts, and
striving to please him every moment of our lives! 'Herein is love; not
that we loved God, but that he loved us, and gave his Son to be the
propitiation for our sins.'"
In a few weeks, Mr. Crane, the new teacher, came, and school commenced
again. Mr. Crane proved to be very much such a teacher as Mr. Burton,
though perhaps not quite so severe. Unfortunately, Ella was not at
all disposed to like him, nor indeed anybody who took Miss Layton's
place; and he seemed to take a dislike to her from the first. Sallie
Barnes, too, went to school again, and seeming to dislike Ella more
than ever, was continually trying to get her into trouble. There would
have been constant quarrelling between them, had not Mary Young acted
as peace-maker, and done her best to keep them apart. Mary tried to
take Miss Layton's place to Ella, and did all she could to encourage
her to industry and attention; and she often talked to her of the
love of Christ, trying to lead her to the Saviour, and telling her
of the happiness she had found in his service. Still it was a very
uncomfortable winter to Ella. She did not become quite as careless
and indolent as she had formerly been, nor indulge her temper quite so
much, yet she was bad enough to be often in disgrace, both at home and
at school.
The winter seemed very long, but spring did come at last, and Ella
was busy in her little garden, and again she planted flowers on her
mother's grave, and went every day to water them and see how they grew.
One evening, when on her way there, as usual, she met Mary Young; and
they walked on together.
"Come, Mary," said Ella, when they had reached the churchyard gate,
"come in with me, and see how pretty my mother's grave looks; the
flowers are all growing so nicely, and the rose-bush has some buds on
it already."
They went in; but when they reached the grave, what a scene of
desolation met their view! Some one had been there before them, and
pulled up all the flowers by the roots, trampled them in the dust, and
even cut off the rose-bush close to the ground. Ella stood a moment
struck speechless with astonishment and dismay, then bursting into
tears, she exclaimed, passionately:
"It was that wicked Sallie Barnes! I _know_ it was! What a mean, bad,
wicked girl she is! I hate her, so I do; and I hope somebody will go
and tear up all _her_ flowers, and spoil all her garden, for I _know_
she did this!"
"O Ellie, Ellie! how can you say so?" said Mary. "I am very sorry for
you, very sorry indeed; but I did not think you would have been so
wicked, as to say that you hate anybody."
"Well, I don't care, I ain't half so bad as she is. I wouldn't have
touched her flowers, and I'd rather she had spoilt all my garden, or
killed my pet kitten, or done anything than this."
"But you don't know that it was Sallie who did it."
"Yes, I _do_. Nobody else would want to spoil anything of mine. Just
see! every _one_ of my pretty flowers pulled up, and my poor rose-bush
cut down too. Oh! I can never forgive her!"
"O Ellie, _dear_ Ellie, don't say that!" said Mary, putting her arms
round her. "Have you forgotten that Jesus said, 'If ye forgive not men
their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses?'
Dear Ellie, think how much more you have done to provoke God, than
Sallie has ever done to vex and displease you, and how he has never
ceased to bless you; and remember the Bible says, 'Whosoever hateth
his brother, is a murderer,' and in another place, 'If he love not
his brother, whom he hath seen, how can he love God, whom he hath not
seen?' O Ellie, it frightens me to hear you talk so. Just think how
_wicked_ it is to say you hate anybody and will never forgive them.
What if God should say he would never forgive you?"
"O Mary, I am sorry I said such a wicked thing, but I was angry and
didn't think how very bad it was. Won't you ask God to forgive me and
help me to like Sallie?"
"I will, Ellie, but you must ask him yourself."
"O Mary, I feel as if I was too wicked to pray; sometimes I am almost
afraid to say my prayers. I wish I was as good as you."
"Don't say that, Ellie, I'm not at all good; if you could see all the
sinful thoughts and feelings that come into my heart, you would not
call me good. I should often be quite in despair, but then I remember
that 'Christ is the end of the law for righteousness to every one that
believeth,' and I beg God to wash away my sins in his blood, and
clothe me in the robe of his righteousness. O Ellie dear, there is no
love so sweet, so satisfying, as the love of Jesus. You are always
wanting some one to love you, why will you refuse the love of him, who
laid down his life for you? 'Greater love hath no man than this, that a
man lay down his life for his friend.'"
"I am sure I would like to be a Christian, Mary, if I only knew how."
"There is nothing to hinder you, Ellie, if you really wish it. Jesus
stands ready and waiting to save you, and you have nothing to do but
come to him; come _now_, just as you are, without waiting to grow any
better. 'O taste and see that the Lord is good: blessed is the man that
trusteth in him.'"
"How do you mean, Mary? how can I go to Jesus?"
"By praying to him, Ellie; praying with your heart. If you will do so,
there is no danger that you will perish, for he never yet cast out any
who came to him in the right way."
Ella sighed deeply; and sat for some time looking very thoughtful.
Presently she got up from the tomb-stone, where they had been sitting,
and began picking up the broken flowers, and putting them into her
basket.
"I shall just throw these away, and plant some more," said she. "I
guess it's not too late for them to grow. I hope Sallie will not pull
them up again; but if she does, I hope I shall not get so angry again
as to say that I hate her."
Ella knelt down, as usual, that night to say her prayers before getting
into bed, but when she came to the petition, "Forgive us our debts, as
we forgive our debtors," she stopped, for the text that Mary had quoted
came freshly into her mind, and she felt in her heart that she had not
forgiven Sallie. "Then I can't say that," said she to herself, "for it
would just be asking God not to forgive me. What shall I do? I can't
say my prayers, and I'm afraid to go to bed without saying them. Mother
told me never to do that, and besides I'm afraid I might die before
morning."
She sat down to think about it. She tried to feel that she forgave
Sallie, but she could not; the more she thought about it, the more she
seemed to dislike her. Many little things had occurred, during the last
few months, to cause this dislike. Sallie had been continually annoying
her in every possible way, and she felt not the least doubt that it was
she who had destroyed her flowers--the flowers which affection for her
mother had prompted her to plant--and she felt as if the act was an
insult to the memory of that dearly loved mother, and therefore much
harder to forgive than any unkindness done only to herself.
"I wish the Bible didn't say, 'Love your enemies,' for it's so hard to
do it. Sallie is my enemy, and it seems to me I can't like her; she's
so disagreeable, and always doing something to vex me; but then it's
very true, what Mary said--I do a great deal more to displease God,
than Sallie does to vex me. How strange that he is so good to me! But
what shall I do about my prayers? I'll ask God to make me willing to
forgive Sallie; I can do that."
She did so, and then got into bed. Still her conscience was not at
rest. She tossed about for some time, but at length, overcome with
weariness, forgot her troubles in the sound sleep of childhood.
But the same struggle was to be gone through again the next morning,
and so it was every night and every morning for days and weeks, her
anxiety and distress constantly increasing, so that it would sometimes
be long, after she had laid her head upon the pillow, before she could
close her eyes in sleep. But she said nothing of all this to any one,
for Mary Young had left town for a few weeks on a visit to a friend,
and there was no one else whom she dared approach on the subject. At
length one night, after tossing on her bed for hours, unable to bear
her distress any longer, she threw herself upon her knees and earnestly
begged to be enabled to forgive Sallie. This time she prayed with her
whole heart, and she immediately felt that her prayer was answered, and
that she could forgive her enemy. Then she prayed for herself, that
her own sins might be forgiven; that her hard and stony heart might
be taken away, and a heart of flesh given to her--a heart hating sin,
loving God and desiring above all things to serve and please him.
She rose from her knees feeling relieved and calm, and lying down on
her bed, slept soundly till morning. Ella waked with the same feeling
of calmness and peace with which she had fallen asleep, and she found
a pleasure in offering up her petitions, that morning, which she had
never known before. She found it easy now to forgive Sallie and to
pray for her, and very pleasant to pray for herself, and she was also
conscious of such a desire to be kept from sin, and enabled to please
God by her conduct that day, as she had never felt before; but it did
not occur to her then, nor for some weeks afterwards, that her heart
had been changed. She only knew that she felt a longing desire to
become a child of God.
* * * * *
"I have some good news to tell you, Ellie," said Mary Young, as she
came into Miss Clinton's sitting-room one morning, where Ella was
seated busily engaged with some sewing. Mary's face was beaming with
delight, and she looked as if she could scarcely wait for Ella to ask
her what her news might be. But she was not kept waiting long.
"What is it, Mary? do tell me!" exclaimed Ella. "I'm sure it's
something good, because you look so pleased."
"Yes, indeed, it is good news. Miss Layton is coming back."
"Oh! is she?" cried Ella, dropping her work to clap her hands, "Oh, I'm
so glad! I'm _so_ glad!"
"But that isn't all," said Mary. "It's a select school she's to have,
and so she is to stay all the time--summer and winter."
"Oh, how nice! and I hope she'll live with us again."
"What's that you're talking about, Ella?" asked aunt Prudence, who had
just come into the room.
"Oh, such good news, aunt Prudence. Miss Layton is coming back, and she
is going to teach a select school, and so she will stay all the time,
and I was just wishing that she would come and live with us again."
"Well, child, I think you're quite likely to have your wish. I had a
letter from her this morning asking if I would take her to board again,
and I shall write back that I'll be very glad to have her, for she's
very pleasant company, and I don't have half the trouble with you when
she is in the house."
The next week Miss Layton returned to S----, and became once more an
inmate of Miss Clinton's family, and soon afterwards she opened her
school. It was not long before Miss Layton noticed a change in Ella.
She never had any of those violent fits of passion now; she was more
patient and humble, and though she seemed to care less for praise
than formerly, she was more anxious than ever to do right; she read
her Bible more--not now as a task or a duty, but because she _loved_
to read it--and she was more thoughtful and quiet, and listened
attentively, and apparently with pleasure, when any conversation on the
subject of religion was introduced in her hearing.
One evening as they sat together on the porch, Miss Layton said to her,
"Ellie, what is the matter with you? you have grown so thoughtful and
quiet lately. What are you thinking about?"
"I was just looking up at the stars, Miss Layton, and thinking of what
you said to me once about the great love of Jesus Christ in coming down
to our little world to suffer and die for us, and I was wishing--Oh, so
much!--that he would give me a new heart, and teach me to love him as I
ought."
"If you really wished it with all your heart, Ellie, it was a prayer;
and a prayer that God will hear and grant, for he says, 'Ye shall seek
me, and find me when ye shall search for me with all your heart.' But
don't you love the Saviour, Ellie?"
"Oh yes, Miss Layton, I hope I do. I love to read about him, to
think about him, and to pray to him; and Oh, I want to be one of his
children! Oh, I wish I could be a Christian!"
"Dear Ellie, I hope you are one. You love the Saviour, and want to love
him more; you love to pray to him, to think of him, and to read and
hear about him; you love the society of his people, and I have noticed
for some time that you seem to be trying to do right that you may
please God. By your fruits we are to know you, and judging by them, I
hope that with you, Ellie, 'old things have passed away and all things
have become new.'"
"O Miss Layton, do you think it can be that I am a Christian? my heart
is so hard and full of sin. But Oh, I am _sure I do_ love Jesus, and I
wish more than anything else that God would make me good!"
And now perhaps you, my reader, are thinking that all Ella's troubles
are over; that everything will now go on smoothly, and she will have
no more struggles with pride, indolence, or ill-temper. Alas! you are
sadly mistaken.
The Christian's struggles are not over as soon as he turns his face
Zionward; nay they are but scarcely commenced. He has but buckled on
his armour for the fight, but girded up his loins that he may run the
race; for the Christian life is compared, in the Scriptures, to a
race--to a warfare, and we are exhorted to so run that we may obtain,
to fight the good fight of faith, to lay hold on eternal life; and we
are told that "we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against
principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of
this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places."
Yes, the Christian's life must be one of continued warfare against sin
and Satan; for as long as he remains in this fallen world, so long
will his corrupt nature, the body of sin and death, cleave to him. Yet
he need not despair, for is he not told, "My grace is sufficient for
thee"--"As thy day so shall thy strength be"--"The Lord is faithful,
who will not suffer you to be tempted above that ye are able, but will
with the temptation also make a way to escape"--"Nay, in all these
things we are more than conquerors through him that loved us?" We are
not left to fight alone. Jesus Christ is the Captain of our salvation.
Many a hard fought battle with her temper had Ella, and many bitter
tears of repentance did she shed when no eye but God's could see her;
but though at times she was almost in despair, she still struggled
on, crying to God for help, and soon those about her could see that
she daily became more patient and gentle, more meek and humble, more
Christ-like, more full of love to Jesus. But aunt Prudence would not
see that it was religion that had changed Ella so much. She said it was
partly because Miss Layton was there to keep her in order, and partly
because Ella was outgrowing her faults; that she was getting old enough
to feel ashamed to indulge her temper. She forgot that her own temper
was quite as bad, as when she was a little girl.