CHAPTER II_In a Mysterious Way

THE COMING OF THE LASSIE

On that same evening Alva and Ingram, the main subject of Mrs. Ray's and

Mrs. Wiley's discourse, sat in the dining-room of the O'Neil House,

waiting for train time. They had the dining-room to themselves, except

for occasional vague and interjectional appearances of Mary Cody in the

door, to see "if they wanted anything." Ingram had been eating,--he was

late, always late,--and Alva sat watching him in the absent-minded way

in which she was apt to contemplate the doings of other people, while

she talked to him with the earnest interest which she always gave to

talking,--when she talked at all. The contrast between her dreamy eyes

and the intentness of her tone was as great as the contrast between the

first impression wrought by a glance at her colorless face and simple

dress, and the second, when, with a start, the onlooker realized that

here was some one well worth looking at, well worth studying, and well

worth meditating later. Perhaps she was not beautiful--I am not quite

sure as to that--but she was surely lovely, with the loveliness which a

certain sort of life brings to some faces.

Ingram, on the other side of the table, was just the ordinary

good-looking, professional man of thirty to thirty-five. Tall, straight,

slightly tanned, as would be natural for a civil engineer who had spent

September in the open; especially well-groomed for a man sixty miles

from what he called civilization, fine to see in his knickerbockers and

laced shoes, genial, jolly, and appreciative to the limit, apparently.

The contrast between the two was very great, and was felt by more than

Mrs. Ray, for there had been many who had watched them during the week

of Alva's stay. "He's a awful nice man," Mrs. O'Neil had said to Mrs.

Ray, "but I don't see how she ever came to fancy him. They seem happy

together, but it's such a funny way to be happy together."

This had been the original form of the statement which Mrs. Ray had

later repeated to Mrs. Wiley.

It was true that they seemed very far apart, but were nevertheless

apparently happy together. The week had been a pleasant week to both.

Not, perhaps, as the town supposed, but pleasant anyway.

"I'm selfish enough to wish that it wasn't at an end to-night," Ingram

said, as he took his piece of blackberry pie from Mary Cody; "you're a

godsend in this place, Alva."

"But you'll like Lassie," his companion replied; "she's a charming

little girl,--and I love her so. I always have loved the child, and just

now it seemed to me as if it would do both her and me good to be

together. Life for me is so wonderful--I don't like to be selfish with

these days. My thoughts are too happy to keep to myself. I want some one

to share my joy."

Ingram looked at her quizzically. "And I won't do at all?" he asked.

"You,--oh, you're away all day. And then, besides, you're still so

material, so awfully material. You can't deny it, Ronald, you're

frightfully material--practical--commonplace. Of the world so very

worldly."

He laughed lightly. "Just because I don't agree with you about the dam,"

he said; "there, that's it, you know. Why, my dear girl, suppose all

America had been reserved for its beauty, set aside for the perpetual

preservation of the buffaloes and the scenery,--where would you and I be

now?"

She looked away from him in her curious, contemplative way. "If you

knew," she said, after a minute, "how silly and petty and trivial such

arguments sound to thinking people, you'd positively blush with shame to

use them. It's like arguing with a baby to try to talk Heaven's reason

with the ordinary man; he just sees his own little, narrow, earthly

standpoint. I wonder whether it's worth while to ever try to be serious

with you. You know very well that the most of your brethren would be

willing to wreck the Yellowstone from end to end, if they could make

their own private and personal fortunes building railways through it."

Ingram laughed again. "Where would the country be without railroads?" he

asked.

She withdrew the meaning in her gaze out of the infinite beyond, where

it seemed to float easily, and centred it on him.

"Just to think," she said, with deep meaning, "that ten years ago I

might have married you, and had to face your system of logic for life!"

"Is it as bad as that?"

"It might have been. We might have made it so before we knew better.

That's the rub in marriage. Every one does it before he or she has

settled his or her own views. I wasn't much of an idealist ten years

ago, and you were not much of anything. But if I could have married any

one then, I should have married you."

A shadow fell upon his face. He turned his chair a little from the

table. "If I was not the right one, I wish that you had married some

other man then,--I wish it with all my heart. You would have been so

much happier. You're not happy now--you know that. It would have been so

much better for you if you had married."

She smiled and shook her head. "Oh, no. It is much better as it is.

Infinitely better. It's like coming up against a great granite wall to

try and talk to you, Ronald, because you simply cannot understand what I

mean when I say words, but nevertheless, believe me, I'm on my knees day

and night, figuratively speaking, thanking God that I didn't marry then.

I wasn't meant to marry then. I've been needed single."

He took out his cigarette case. "What were you meant for, then, do you

think?" he queried; "nothing except as a convenience for others?"

"I was meant to learn, and then later, perhaps, to teach."

"To learn?" He looked his question with a quick intensity. "To teach?--"

the question deepened sharply.

She smiled. "Yes. To learn so that I could teach. I feel some days that

I was born to teach, and of course no one may hope to teach until he has

learned first."

He shrugged his shoulders and laughed a little. She smiled again. "You

great, granite wall, you don't understand a bit, do you? Never mind,

light your cigarette, and then tell me what time it is. We must not

forget Lassie, you know."

He looked at his watch. "Ten minutes yet."

"Dear child, how tired she'll be. Never mind, she'll have a good rest

during the next ten days."

"Will she stay ten days? She'll be here as long as you will then, won't

she?"

"Yes; I'm going when she does."

"You think that the house will be done by that time?"

"I know that it will be done. It must be done."

He took his cigarette up in his fingers, turned it about a little, and

then looked suddenly straight at her. "Alva, tell me the mystery, tell

me the story, please. What is the house for?"

She looked at him and was silent.

"Why won't you tell me?"

Still silence. Still she looked at him.

"You'll tell her when she comes. Why not me?"

She spoke then: "She'll be able to understand, perhaps. You couldn't."

Ingram compressed his lips. "And am I so awfully dense?" he asked, half

hurt.

"Not so dense, but, as yet, too ignorant. Or else it is that I am still

too little myself to be able to rise above some human sentiments. And

there is one point where endurance of the world's opinion is such

refinement of torture, that only the very strongest and greatest can go

willingly forward to meet and suffer the inevitable. The inevitable is

close to me these days; it is approaching closer hourly, and there is no

possible way for me to make you or the world understand how I feel in

regard to it all. And I shrink from facing the kind of thing that I

shall soon have to face any sooner than is absolutely necessary. And so

I won't tell you."

She stopped. Although her voice was firm, her eyes had again become far

away in their expression, and she seemed almost to have forgotten him

even while making this explanation for his sake. He was watching her

with deepest interest, and the curiosity in his eyes burned more

brightly than ever.

"But if it is all as terrible as you make out," he said, "how can you

make that young girl understand what you suppose to be so far beyond

me?"

"Because I can teach her."

"How?"

"She'll be with me night and day for ten days. We'll have a good deal of

time together. And then, too, she is a woman. Women learn some lessons

easily. Easier far than men."

"Is it right to teach her such a lesson as this?"

"Why do you ask that, when you do not know what my lesson will be? How

can you dare fancy that it could possibly be wrong?"

Ingram paused for a minute, a little staggered. Then he said, bluntly:

"The world is made up of reasonable men and women, and it seems to me

best that all men and women should be reasonable. What isn't reasonable

is wrong. Forgive me, Alva, but you don't sound reasonable."

"You think that I am not reasonable? Therefore I must be wrong. That's

your logic?"

He hesitated. "Perhaps I think you wrong. I must confess that to me you

often seem so."

She thought a minute, considering his standpoint.

"Ronald," she said then, "'reasonable' is a term that is given its

meaning by those in power, isn't that so? 'Reasonable' is what best

serves the ends of those who generally seek to serve no ends except

their own. It's true that I don't at all care what a few selfish and

near-sighted individuals think of me. I have thrown in my lot with the

unreasonable majority, the poor, the suffering, and those yet to be born

who are being robbed of their birthright. To leave my mystery and go

back to our familiar difference, there's the dam to illustrate my exact

meaning. The 'reasonable' use of the river out there is to build a dam,

and so make a few more millionaires and give employment for a few years

to a few thousands of Italians. The 'unreasonable' use to make of the

river is to preserve it intact for tired, weary souls to flee to through

all the future, so that their bodies may breathe God and life into their

being again, and go forth strong. You know you don't agree with me as to

that view of that case, so how can I expect you to disagree with the

general opinion that the 'reasonable' thing for me to do personally is

to take my life and get all the pleasure that I can from it? The

'unreasonable' view, the one I hold myself, is that I have elected to

take it and give--not get--all the pleasure that I can with it. Of

course you don't understand that unreasonableness, and so you don't

agree with me; but I can tell you one thing, Ronald," she leaned forward

and suddenly threw intense meaning into her words, "and that is this. My

story--my mystery as you call it so often--is at once a very old mystery

and a very new one. I have suffered, and I am to suffer, most terribly.

The happiness to which I am looking forward is going to be an ordeal

for which all that I have undergone until now will be none too much

preparation. But in the hour of my keenest agony I shall be happier and

more hopeful than you will ever be able to realize in your life. Unless

you change completely. Take my word for that."

She rose as she spoke, and he rose, too, looking towards her with eyes

that plainly subscribed to Mrs. Ray's opinion as expressed in the simple

vernacular.

"Oh, no, I can't understand, and I don't believe," he said: "but I am

able to meet trains, anyhow."

A large cape lay on an empty chair near by, and she took it up now.

"But I'm going alone," she said, as she slipped into it.

"What nonsense. Of course I am not going to let you go alone."

She looked at him, buttoning the woolen cross-straps upon the cape as

she did so; then she threw one corner back over her forearm and laid

that hand on his, speaking decidedly.

"I'm going alone to meet her. You know what I asked you to promise when

I came here a week ago, and you know that you gave me your word that

you'd never interfere with me. Lassie is almost a stranger to you, and

after you have learned to know her as a young lady there will come years

for you two to talk together, but for me this meeting is something that

I don't want to share. Don't say any more."

"But what will she think," he queried, "when she and you return

together, and here sits a cavalier who didn't trouble himself to

accompany one lady through the dark night to meet another's train?"

"She will think nothing, because she will not see the cavalier. When we

come in, we shall go straight up-stairs."

Ingram more than smiled now. "Forgive me, Alva, but you and I are such

old, such near, such dear friends, that I can say to you frankly, as I

do say to you frankly over and over again, I don't understand you."

She laughed at that, and turned towards the door.

"I know--I know. I'm very queer, most awfully queer, in the eyes of

every one. But I can tell you, as I tell them, that the worst of it is

only for a little while. Just a few brief weeks and I shall be again, in

most ways, a normal woman. A woman just like all the rest again," her

back was towards him now, "in most thing--in most things."

"Never! You never have been like other women,--you've always been

different from other women; you always will be."

"Have I? Shall I? Well, perhaps it's so. I'm rather glad of it. Most

women are stupid, I think. Poor things!" she sighed.

He followed her as she moved towards the door, half-vexed,

half-laughing:

"And men, Alva, and men. Are they all stupid in your eyes?"

She had her hand on the knob, and her great cape was gathered about her

in heavy folds.

"Oh, Ronald," she said, looking into his look, "if you had any idea how

fearfully stupid they seem to me. Often and often in the last three

years. Even yourself. And ten years ago, when we were eighteen and

twenty-five, I thought you so interesting, too."

He burst out laughing at that,--it wasn't in him to take her seriously

enough to really mind her "ways" long.

"But what are we to do, when we are such mere ordinary creatures? And

you know, my dear, that if the transcendentals like to muse on bridges

by moonlight, some well-educated, commonplace individuals must build

them the bridges first."

"Ah, there you go again. Yes, that's true. One should never forget that,

of course. Particularly when talking with a man who uses a man's logic."

Then she opened the door, passed quickly into the hall, and let it close

after her.

A lantern was resting on the floor outside, as if in waiting, and she

picked it up and went at once into the night--a dark night through which

the station lights and signals, red and yellow, sparkled brightly.

It was a brisk October air that filled that outer world, and the

superabundant vitality of God's country came glinting, storming, down,

up, and across earth, sky, and ether in between.

"This glorious night!" she thought prayerfully. "If one might only

realize just all it means to be existing right now." She held the

lantern behind her, and saw her shadow spread forth into space and fade

away beyond. "The train isn't in the block yet," she thought, glancing

at the signal; "that means minutes long to wait." Quickly she ran down

the cinder-path beside the tracks, and entered the little station where

a crowd of men lounged.

"Is the train on time to-night?" she asked one.

He shook his head. "Half an hour late," he said; "wreck on the road.

Wheel off a car of thrashing-machines at Kent's."

"A whole half hour?"

"Well, I heard Joey Beall say they was making it up," said the man; "the

station agent's gone home to supper, or you could ask him."

"Thank you very much," Alva said, and turned and went out.

The night appeared even fairer than before. Her eyes roamed widely. She

thought for a minute of going back to the hotel and bidding Ingram come

out with her, but then her own mood cried for relief from the labor of

his companionship. We do not give our spirits credit for what they learn

through adapting themselves to uncongenial companionship. Alva felt hers

craved a rest. "I'll go out on the bridge and wait there," she told

herself; "that will be the right thing,--to stand above the gorge and

say my evening prayers."

So, stepping carefully over the switch impedimenta, she walked on,

following the embankment that led out to the Long Bridge.

It is very long--that Long Bridge--and very high as well. I believe that

the first bridge, the wooden one, was close to a world's wonder in its

days. Even now the skilfully combined network of iron, steel, joist and

cable seems a species of marvel, as it springs across the great cleft

that the glacier sawed through several million layers of Devonian

stratum several million years ago. I forget how many tons of metal went

into its structure, but so intricate and delicately poised is the whole,

that while trains roar forth upon its length and find no danger, yet

does it echo quick and responsive to the light step of a lithe treading

woman or even of the littlest child. On this night Alva, wrapped close

in her cape, fared fearlessly out into the black beyond. The high braces

and beams creaked all along its vanishing length, and she smiled at the

sound. "I wonder if sometime, years from now, I shall return and walk

out here again, and find the bridge crying me a welcome!" she thought;

"I wonder!" A narrow, boarded way led to the right of the rails, and she

was soon directly over the gorge. It was far too dark to see the ribbon

of river hundreds and hundreds of feet below, or the steep

picture-crevasse that encased the water's way. Beyond and below, to the

left, she could have seen the windows of Ledgeville, had she turned that

way, but she did not do so. It was the gorge that always claimed her,

whether by day or by night, and now she leaned upon the steel guard and

stared below. "I can see it plainly, even in the dark," she murmured to

herself. "I can see every rock and eddy down there, the great curve of

whirlpool, and the place where the water slides so smoothly off and then

goes mad and foams below. It is all distinct to me. I remember the day

that I first saw it, years ago, when--right here, where I stand

to-night--he came to me for the first time, and we knew one another

directly. And I shall see it just so plainly in the years to come, when

it will never enter into my daily life any more, and yet will be the

background of all my living."

She stood there for a long time, wrapped in the depth of her own

thoughts. The shadows below seemed to shift and drift in their

variations of intensity, and her eyes found rest in their profundity.

"It's like drawing water out of a well when one is very thirsty," she

said, at last, straightening herself and sighing; "it's

unexplainable, but oh, it's so good,--the lesson of darkness and water

and trees and sky. How grateful I am to be able to spell out a little in

that primer!"

Then she clasped her hands and said a prayer, and as she finished the

signal flashed the train's entrance within the block. That meant only

two minutes until its arrival, and so she turned herself back at once.

The crowd at the station had perceptibly increased and began now to

surge forth upon the platform. Mrs. Dunstall was there and Pinkie, and

Joey Beall and Mrs. Wiley, and Clay Wright Benton, and old Sammy Adams,

and Lucia Cosby.

"Been out on the Bridge, I suppose?" Mrs. Dunstall said pleasantly to

Alva.

"Yes; it's lovely to-night," the latter replied.

Every one smiled. They all felt that any one who would go out on the

bridge on a pitch black night must be mildly insane, but they looked

upon Alva as mildly insane anyhow. Mrs. Ray had many beside Ingram to

uphold her opinion.

"It's her that bought the old Whittacker house and is putting a bath-tub

in it," Joey Beall whispered to a man who was waiting to leave by the

last train out.

[Illustration: "IT'S HER THAT BOUGHT THE OLD WHITTACKER HOUSE."]

"I know it," said the man; he was one of those men who never let Joey or

anybody else feel that he had any advantage of him, in even the

slightest way.

Just then the train charged madly in beside them.

Lassie, out on the Pullman's rear platform, preparatory to climbing down

the steep steps the instant that it should be allowable, saw a

well-known figure wrapped in a dark cloak, and gave a little cry of

joy--

"Alva! Here I am--all safe."

Then she was enwrapped in the same dark cloak herself, for the space of

one warm, all-embracing hug, her friend repeating over and over, "I'm so

happy to have you--so happy to have you." And then they moved away

through the little group of bystanders, and started up the cinder-path

towards the hotel.

"I'm so happy to have you!" Alva exclaimed again, when they were alone.

She did not even seem to know that she had said so before.

"It was so good of you to ask me! How did you come to think of it? And

oh, Alva, what are you doing here, in this lonely place?"

"It will take me all your visit to properly answer those questions,

dear; but I'll tell you this much at once. I asked you because I wanted

to have you with me, and because I thought that you and I could help one

another a great deal right now. And I am here, dear, because I am the

happiest woman that the world has ever seen, and because the greatest

happiness that the world has ever known is to be here in a few weeks."

Lassie stopped short, astonished.

Alva went on, laughing gaily: "Yes, it is so! Come on,--or you will

stumble without my lantern to guide you. I'm going to tell you all about

everything when we get alone in our room, but now, little girl, hurry,

hurry. Don't stop behind."

So Lassie swallowed her astonishment for the time being, and followed.

The hotel stood on the crest of the hill above the station and the

railway's path curved by it. They were there in a minute, and in another

minute alone up-stairs in their room--or rather, rooms--for there were

two bedrooms, opening one into the other.

"Why, how pretty you have made them," the young girl cried; "pictures,

and a real live tea-table. And a work-stand! How cosy and dear! It's

just as if you meant to live here always."

Her face glowed, as she absorbed the surprising charm of her new abode.

One does not need to be very old or to have travelled very extensively

to recognize some comforts as pleasingly surprising in the country.

Alva was hanging up her cloak, and now she came and began to undo the

traveller's with a loving touch.

"Why, in one way I do mean to live here always, dear. I never am

anywhere that I do not--in a certain sense--live there ever after.

People and places never fade out of my life. Wherever I have once been

is forever near and dear to me, so dear that I can't bear to remember

anybody or anything there as ugly. The difference between a pretty room

and an ugly one is only a little money and a few minutes, after all, and

I'm beginning to learn to apply the same rule to people. It only takes a

little to find something interesting about each. We'll be so happy here,

Lassie; how we will talk and sew and drink tea in these two tiny rooms!

I've been just feasting on the thought of it every minute since you

wrote that you could come."

Lassie hugged her again. "I can't tell you how overjoyed I was to think

of coming and having a whole fortnight of you to myself. Every one

thought it was droll, my running off like this when I ought to be deep

in preparations for my début, but mamma said that the rest and change

would do me good. And I was so glad!"

Alva had gone to hang up the second cloak and now she turned, smiling

her usual quiet sweet smile as she did so.

"It's a great thing for me to have you, dear; I haven't been lonely, but

my life has been so happy here that I have felt selfish over keeping so

much rare, sweet, unutterable joy all to myself,--I wanted to share it."

She seated herself on the side of the bed, and held out her hand in

invitation, and Lassie accepted the invitation and went and perched

beside her.

"Tell me all about it," she said, nestling childishly close; "how long

have you been here anyway?"

"A week to-day."

"Only a week! Why, you wrote me a week ago."

"No, dear, six days ago."

"But you spoke as if you had been here ever so long then."

"Did I? It seemed to me that I had been here a long time, I suppose.

Time doesn't go with me as regularly as it should, I believe. Some years

are days, and the first day here was a year."

"And why are you here, Alva?"

"Oh, that's a long story."

"But tell it me, can't you?"

"Wait till to-morrow, dearest; wait until to-morrow, until you see my

house."

"Your house!"

"I've bought a house here,--a dear little old Colonial dwelling hidden

behind a high evergreen wall."

"A house here--in Ledge?"

"No, dear, not in Ledge--in Ledgeville. Across the bridge--"

"But when--"

"A week ago--the day I came."

"But why--"

Alva leaned her face down against the bright brown head.

"I wanted a home of my own, Lassie."

"But I thought that you couldn't leave your father and mother?"

"I can't, dear."

"Are they coming here to live?"

"No, dear."

"But I don't understand--"

"But you will to-morrow; I'll tell you everything to-morrow; I'd tell

you to-night, only that I promised myself that we would go to a certain

dear spot, and sit there alone in the woods while I told you."

"Why in the woods?"

"Ah, Lassie, because I love the woods; I've gotten so fond of woods, you

don't know how fond; trees and grass have come to be such friends to me;

I'll tell you about it all later. It's all part of the story."

"But why did you come here, Alva,--here of all places, where you don't

know any one. For you don't know any one here, do you?"

"I know a man named Ronald Ingram here; he is the chief of the

engineering party that is surveying for the dam."

"Is he an old friend?"

"Oh, yes, from my childhood."

Lassie turned quickly, her eyes shining:

"Alva, are you going to marry him?"

Her face was so bright and eager that something veiled the eyes of the