Recalled to their senses by the interruption, both Milrookit and his
lawyer saw that their interests and characters were too intimately
linked in the consequences of the discovery to allow them to incur the
hazards of a public disclosure. Pitwinnoch was the first who recovered
his presence of mind, and, with great cleverness, he suddenly turned
round, and addressed himself to the Leddy:--
‘Though we have had a few words, Mr. Milrookit is quite sensible that
he has not a shadow of reason to withhold the estate from the heir of
entail. He will give it up the moment that it is demanded.’
‘Then I demand it this moment,’ exclaimed the Leddy; ‘and out of this
house, that was my ain, I’ll no depart till Jamie Walkinshaw, the
righteous male-heir, comes to tak possession. It was a most jewdical
habit and repute like action o’ you, Walky Milrookit, to reset and keep
this fine property on a point of law; and I canna see how ye’ll clear
your character o’ the coom ye hae brought on’t by sic a diminishment
of the grounds of the case between an heir-male and an heir-female.’
Milrookit, seeing his wife coming into the room, and eager to get the
business closed as happily as possible, requested Pitwinnoch to follow
him into another apartment; to which they immediately retired, leaving
the ladies together.
‘Beenie,’ said the Leddy, with the most ineffable self-satisfied
equanimity, ‘I hope ye’ll prepare yoursel to hear wi’ composity the
sore affliction that I’m ordain’t to gie you. Eh, Beenie! honesty’s a
braw thing; and I’ll no say that your gudeman, my ain oe, hasna been a
deevil that should get his dues--what they are, the laws and lawyers
as weel as me ken are little short o’ the halter. But, for a’ that,
our ain kith and kin, Beenie--we maun jook and let the jawp gae bye.
So I counsel you to pack up your ends and your awls, and flit your
camp wi’ a’ the speed ye dow; for there’s no saying what a rampageous
soldier-officer, whose trade is to shoot folk, may say or do, when
Jamie Walkinshaw comes to ken the battle that I hae fought wi’ sic
triumphing.’
Mrs. Milrookit, who was totally uninformed either of the circumstances
of her situation, or of what had taken place, scarcely felt more
amazement than terror at this speech, and in perceiving that her
grandmother was acquainted with the business which had brought her
husband and Pitwinnoch to such high words, that their voices were heard
before the carriage reached the door.
‘What has happened?’ was the anxious exclamation of her alarm.
‘Only a discovery that has been made among the Faculty o’ Advocates,
that a dochter’s no a male-heir. So you being but the heir-female of
George, the third son, by course o’ nature the property goes back
to the son of Charles the eldest son--he being, in the words of the
act, an heir-male, and your husband, Walkinshaw Milrookit, being an
heir-general of Margaret, the daughter, is, in a sense o’ law, no heir
at all, which is the reason that your cousin Jamie comes in for the
estate, and that you and Milrookit must take up your bed, and walk to
some other dwelling-place; for here, at Kittlestonheugh, ye hae no
continued city, Beenie, my dear, and I’m very sorry for you. It’s wi’
a very heavy heart, and an e’e o’ pity, that I’m obligated not to be
beautiful on the mountains, but to tell you thir sore news.’
‘Then I’m to understand,’ replied Robina, with a degree of composure
that surprised the Leddy, ‘it has been discovered that my uncle
Charles’ family were not entirely disinherited, but that James succeeds
to the estate? It is only to be regretted that this was not known
sooner, before we took up our residence here.’
‘It’s an auld saying, Beenie, and a true saying, as I know from my own
experience, that the law is a tether o’ length and durability; so ye
need be nane surprised, considering the short time bygane since your
father’s death, that the panel was na brought to judgement sooner.
Indeed, if it had na been by my instrumentality, and the implementing
o’ the case that I gied to Pitwinnoch, there’s no saying how long it
would hae been pending afore the Lords.’
While the Leddy was thus delivering what she called her dark sentence
o’ legality, Pitwinnoch and Milrookit returned into the room, and the
former said to the Leddy,--
‘I’m happy to inform you, Madam, that Mr. Milrookit acts in the
handsomest manner. He is quite satisfied that his cousin, Mr.
Walkinshaw, is the true heir of entail, and is prepared to resign the
estate at once.’
‘Did na I prove to you, Mr. Pitwinnoch, that wi’ baith his feet he had
na ae leg in law to stand on; but ye misdootit my judgement,’ replied
the Leddy, exultingly.
‘But,’ continued the lawyer, ‘in consideration of this most honourable
acquiescence at once on his part, I have undertaken that ye’ll repay
the thousand pounds which, you must be sensible, was a most ridiculous
sum for six weeks’ bed and board in your house.’
‘Truly, and ye’re no far wrang, Mr. Pitwinnoch. It was a vera
ridiculous soom; for, if I had stood out, I might hae got twa thousand,
if no mair. But I canna understand how it is possible you can think
I’ll part wi’ my lawful won money for naething.--What’s the gieing up
o’ the estate to the male heir to me? I’ll get neither plack nor bawbee
by’t, unless it please Jamie to gie me a bit present, by way o’ a fee,
for counselling you how to set about the precognition that’s gotten him
his right.--Na, na, no ae farthing will I faik.’
‘Then, Madam, I shall feel it my duty to advise Mr. Milrookit to revive
the question, and take the matter into Court upon a ground of error,’
said the lawyer.
‘Tak it, tak it, pleasure yoursel in that way; ye can do naething
mair cordial to me;--but I think ye ought to know, and Milrookit to
understand, baith by bed, board, and washing, and heirs-male, what it
is to try the law wi’ me.’
The lawyer and his client exchanged looks: the Leddy, however,
continued her address,--
‘Howsever, Mr. Pitwinnoch, sure am I there was no mistake in the
business; for ye’ll bear in mind that ye made me an offer of twa
hundred, the whilk I refused, and then ye brought me my justly due.
That settles the point o’ law,--tak my word for ’t.’
‘I am afraid,’ said Pitwinnoch to his rueful client, ‘that there is no
chance’--
‘’Deed no, Mr. Pitwinnoch,’ replied the Leddy; ‘neither pursuer nor
respondent has ony chance wi’ me in that plea; so just shake your lugs
and lie down again. A’ your barking would prove afore the Lords but
as water spilt on the ground; for the money is in an heritable bond,
and the whilk bond is in my hands; that’s the strong ground o’ the
case,--touch it whan ye may.’
Pitwinnoch could with difficulty keep his gravity, and poor Milrookit,
finding he had so overreached himself, said,--
‘Well, but when you make your will, I trust and hope you will then
consider how simply I gave you the money.’
‘Mak my will!--that’s a delicate hint to an aged woman. I’ll no forget
that,--and as to your simplicity in paying the justly due for bed,
board, and washing,--was na every pound got as if it had been a tooth
out o’ your head, howkit out by course and force o’ law?’
‘In truth, Leddy,’ said Pitwinnoch, ‘we are all friends here, and it’s
just as well to speak freely. I advised Mr. Milrookit to pay you the
money, rather than hazard any question that might possibly attract
attention to the provisions of the entail; but now since the whole has
been brought to an issue, you must be sensible that he suffers enough
in losing the estate, and that you ought to give him back the money.’
The Leddy sat for several minutes silent, evidently cogitating
an answer, at the end of which she raised her eyes, and said to
Pitwinnoch,--
‘I can see as far through a millstane as ye can do through a fir
deal, and maybe I may tak it in my head to raise a plea wi’ you in an
action of damages, for plotting and libelling in the way that it’s
vera visible ye hae done, jointly and severally, in a plea of the
crown; and aiblins I’ll no tak less than a thousand pounds;--so, Mr.
Pitwinnoch, keep your neck out o’ the woody o’ a law-plea wi’ me, if
ye can; for, in the way of business, I hae done wi’ you; and, as soon
as Mr. Whitteret comes hame, I’ll see whether I ought not to instruct
in a case against you for the art and part conspiracy of the thousand
pounds.’
Milrookit himself was obliged to laugh at the look of consternation
with which this thunderclap broke over the lawyer, who, unable to
withstand the absurdity of the threat, and yet alarmed for the
consequences to his reputation, which such an attempt would entail,
hastily retired.