him when he entered the field. He began their education from their
birth; he taught them to wear a girth, a bridle, a saddle; to meet
flags, music; to bear the firing of a pistol at their heads from their
earliest years; and he maintained that no horses were so well broken as
his! At p. 388 she records, "At ten we always went down-stairs to
prayers in the library. Immediately after, if we were alone, appeared
the 'farmer' at the door, lantern in hand. 'David, bring me my coat and
stick,' and off he set with him, summer and winter, to visit his horses,
and see that they were all well fed, and comfortable in their regions
for the night. He kept up this custom all his life!"
* * * * *
Sydney Smith, when at Foston, used to exercise his skill in medicine on
the poor, and often did much good; his daughter gives some instances of
his practice as a farrier.
"On one occasion, wishing to administer a ball to Peter the Cruel,[233]
the groom, by mistake, gave him two boxes of opium pills in his bran
mash, which Peter composedly munched, boxes and all. My father, in
dismay, when he heard what had happened, went to look, as he thought,
for the last time on his beloved Peter; but soon found, to his great
relief, that neither boxes nor pills had produced any visible effects on
him. Another time he found all his pigs intoxicated; and, as he
declared, 'grunting "God save the King" about the stye,' from having
eaten some fermented grains which he had ordered for them. Once he
administered castor-oil to the red cow, in quantities sufficient to have
killed a regiment of Christians; but the red cow laughed alike at his
skill and his oil, and went on her way rejoicing."[234]
* * * * *
Sydney Smith tells a story, or made one, of a clergyman who was rather
absent. "I heard of a clergyman who went jogging along the road till he
came to a turnpike. 'What is to pay?'--'Pay, sir, for what?' asked the
turnpike man.--'Why, for my horse, to be sure.'--'Your horse, sir? what
horse? here is no horse, sir.'--'No horse? God bless me!' said he,
suddenly, looking down between his legs, 'I thought I was on
horseback.'"[235]
JUDGE STORY AND THE NAMES HE GAVE HIS HORSES.
The son and biographer of the eminent American judge, Joseph Story,
relates of him[236]--"To dumb creatures he was kind and considerate, and
indignant at any ill usage of them. His sportive nature showed itself in
the nicknames which, in parody of the American fondness of titles, he
gave to his horses and dogs, as, 'The Right Honourable Mr Mouse,' or
'Colonel Roy.'"
WORDSWORTH ON CRUELTY TO HORSES IN IRELAND.
The Rev. Caesar Otway,[237] in a lecture full of interesting anecdotes,
records:--"I remember an observation made to me by one of the most
gifted of the human race--one of the stars of this generation--the poet
of nature and of feeling--the good and the great Mr Wordsworth. Having
the honour of a conversation with him, after he had made a tour through
Ireland, I, in the course of it, asked what was the thing that most
struck his observation here, as making us differ from the English; and
he, without hesitation, said it was the ill treatment of our horses;
that his soul was often, too often, sick within him at the way in which
he saw these creatures of God abused."
USE OF TAIL.--SHORT-TAILED AND LONG-TAILED HORSES.
In an Irish paper was an advertisement for horses to stand at livery on
the following terms:--"Long-tailed horses at 3s. 6d. per week;
short-tailed horses at 3s. per week." On inquiry into the cause of the
difference, it was answered, that the horses with long tails could brush
the flies off their backs while eating, whereas the short-tailed horses
were obliged to take their heads _from the manger_, and so ate
less.[238]
FOOTNOTES:
[215] "Journal of Horticultural Tour," p. 306.
[216] "Memorials of Angus and the Mearns," by Andrew Jervise (1861), p.
175.
[217] "History of the Life and Times of Edmund Burke," by Thomas
Macknight, vol. i. p. 160.
[218] "Life of Sir Joshua Reynolds," &c., by James Northcote, Esq., R.A.
(2d edition), vol. ii. p. 80.
[219] "Life and Times of Sir Joshua Reynolds," by C. R. Leslie and Tom
Taylor, M.A., vol. ii. p. 219.
[220] "Lives of Hugh Latimer, Bishop of Worcester, and of Bernard
Gilpin," by William Gilpin, M.A. (3d edition), 1780, p. 275.
[221] _Loc. cit._, p. 284.
[222] Mark Lemon, "Jest Book," p. 39.
[223] "The Lives of Robert Haldane of Airthrey, and of his Brother,
James Alexander Haldane," by Alex. Haldane, Esq., of the Inner Temple
(1852), p. 223.
[224] Mark Lemon, "Jest Book," p. 318.
[225] "Memoirs of Thomas Holcroft" (ed. 1852), pp. 40, 41.
[226] "Memoirs of the late Thomas Holcroft," written by himself (ed.
London, 1852), p. 112.
[227] "Lives of the Chief-Justices of England" (Lord Ellenborough), vol.
iii. p. 100.
[228] Vol i. pp. 94-115.
[229] "Physic and Physicians: a Medical Sketch-Book," vol. i. p. 59.
[230] "Memoirs of Frederick Perthes," vol. i. p. 309.
[231] "Lives of the Engineers," vol. ii. p. 185.
[232] "Memoir of the Rev. Sydney Smith," by his daughter, Lady Holland,
vol. i. pp. 172-174.
[233] A horse which he called so.
[234] "Memoir of the Rev. Sydney Smith," by his daughter, Lady Holland,
vol. i. p. 117.
[235] Mrs Marcet, in Lady Holland's Memoirs of her Father, the Rev.
Sydney Smith, vol. i. p. 364.
[236] "Life and Letters of Joseph Story, Associate Justice of the
Supreme Court of the United States, and Dane Professor of Law at Harvard
University," edited by his son, Wm. W. Story, vol. ii. p. 611.
[237] "The Intellectuality of Domestic Animals: a Lecture Delivered
before the Royal Zoological Society of Ireland," p. 25. Dublin, 1847.
[238] Mark Lemon, "Jest Book," p. 263.
ASS AND ZEBRA.
It is strange that one of the most sagacious of animals should have
supplied us with a by-word for "a fool." Coleridge was conscious of this
when, in writing his address to a young ass's foal,[239] he exclaimed--
"I hail thee, brother, spite of the fool's scorn."
How well has he expressed his love for "the languid patience" of its
face.
In warmer climes the ass attains a size and condition not seen here,
though when cared for in this rougher climate, the donkey assumes
somewhat of the size and elegance he has in the East. But who can bear
his voice? Surely Coleridge was very fanciful when, in any condition of
asshood, he could write--
"Yea, and more musically sweet to me
Thy dissonant, harsh bray of joy would be,
Than warbled melodies that soothe to rest
The aching of pale Fashion's vacant breast."
The wild ass, as it roams over the plains of Asia, or is seen in the
Zoological gardens along with the gracefully-shaped and prettily-striped
zebra, must be admired by every one.
COLLINS AND THE OLD DONKEY OF ODELL, COWPER'S MESSENGER AT OLNEY.
In July 1823, William Collins, R.A., visited Turvey, in Bedfordshire.
His son remarks--"Besides the attractions presented to the pencil by the
natural beauties of this neighbourhood, its vicinity to Olney, the
favourite residence of the poet Cowper, gave it, to all lovers of
poetry, a local and peculiar charm. Conspicuous among its inhabitants at
the time when my father visited it was 'old Odell,' frequently mentioned
by Cowper as the favourite messenger who carried his letters and
parcels. The extreme picturesqueness and genuine rustic dignity of the
old man's appearance made him an admirable subject for pictorial study.
Portraits of him, in water-colours and oils, were accordingly made by my
father, who introduced him into three of his pictures. The donkey on
which he had for years ridden to and fro with letters, was as carefully
depicted by the painter as his rider. On visiting 'old Odell' a year or
two afterwards, Mr Collins observed a strange-looking object hanging
against his kitchen wall, and inquired what it was. 'Oh, sir,' replied
the old man, sorrowfully, 'that is the skin of my poor donkey. He died
of old age, and I did not like to part with him altogether, so I had his
skin dried, and hung up there.' Tears came into his eyes as he spoke of
the old companion of all his village pilgrimages. The incident might
have formed a continuation of Sterne's exquisite episode in the
'Sentimental Journey.'"[240]
In his picture of "The Cherry-Seller," painted for Mr Higgins of Turvey
House, old Odell and his donkey are chief figures.
GAINSBOROUGH KEPT AN ASS.
The Rev. William Gilpin, in his "Forest Scenery," refers to the
picturesque beauty of the ass in a landscape Berghem often introduced
it; "and a late excellent landscape-painter (Mr Gainsborough), I have
heard, generally kept this animal by him, that he might have it always
at hand to introduce in various attitudes into his pictures. I have
heard also that a plaster cast of an ass, modelled by him, is sold in
the shops in London."[241]
IRISHMAN ON THE RAMSGATE DONKEYS.
In former times, when excise officers were not so sharp, there was a
good deal of smuggling carried on at Ramsgate. Sir Thomas Dick
Lauder[242] tells an anecdote of an Irishman there, who being asked to
name the hardest wrought creature in existence, replied, "Och! a
Ramsgate donkey, to be sure; for, faith, afthur carrying angels all day,
be the powers he is forced to carry speerits all night."
ASS'S FOAL.
Douglas Jerrold and a company of literary friends were out in the
country. In the course of their walk they stopped to notice the gambols
of an ass's foal. A very sentimental poet present vowed that he should
like to send the little thing as a present to his mother. "Do," replied
Jerrold, "and tie a piece of paper round its neck, bearing this motto,
'When this you see, remember me.'"[243]
ASS.
A judge, joking a young barrister, said--"If you and I were turned into
a horse and an ass, which would you prefer to be?"--"The ass, to be
sure," replied the barrister. "I've heard of an ass being made a judge,
but a horse never."[244]
Ammonianus, the grammarian, had an ass which, as it is said, when he
attended the lectures upon poetry, often neglected his food when laid
before him, though at the same time he was hungry, so much was the ass
taken with the love of poetry.[245]
WARREN HASTINGS AND THE REFRACTORY DONKEY.
The fondness of the first Governor-General of India for horse exercise,
and indeed for the horse itself, was quite oriental, as his biographer
relates.[246] He was a fine rider, and piqued himself on his abilities
in this way.
"Nothing pleased him," continues Mr Gleig, "more than to undertake some
animal which nobody else could control, and to reduce it, as he
invariably did, to a state of perfect docility. The following anecdote,
which I have from my friend Mr Impey, himself an actor in the little
drama, may suffice to show the extent to which this passion was carried.
It happened once upon a time, when Mr Impey was, with some other boys,
on a visit at Daylesford, that Mr Hastings, returning from a ride, saw
his young friends striving in vain to manage an ass which they had found
grazing in the paddock, and which one after another they chose to mount.
The ass, it appears, had no objection to receive the candidates for
equestrian renown successively on his back, but budge a foot he would
not; and there being neither saddle nor bridle, wherewith to restrain
his natural movements, he never failed, so soon as a difference of
opinion arose, to get the better of his rider. Each in his turn, the
boys were repeatedly thrown, till at last Mr Hastings, who watched the
proceedings with great interest, approached.
"Why, boys," said he, "how is it that none of you can ride?"
"Not ride!" cried the little aspirants; "we could ride well enough, if
we had a saddle and a bridle; but he's such an obstinate brute, that we
don't think even you, sir, could sit him bare-backed."
"Let's try," exclaimed the Governor-General.
Whereupon he dismounted, and gave his horse to one of the children to
hold, and mounted the donkey. The beast began to kick up his heels, and
lower his head as heretofore; but this time the trick would not answer.
The Governor-General sat firm, and finally prevailed, whether by fair
means or foul, I am not instructed, in getting the quadruped to move
wheresoever he chose. He himself laughed heartily as he resigned the
conquered thistle-eater to his first friends; and the story when told,
as told it was, with consummate humour, at the dinner-table, afforded
great amusement to a large circle of guests.
NORTHCOTE, THE ROYAL ACADEMICIAN, AN ANGEL AT AN ASS.
Fuseli, the artist, was a most outspoken man. His biographer[247] says
that he never concealed his sentiments with regard to men, even to their
faces.
"Every one knows," writes Mr Knowles, "who is acquainted with art, the
powers which Northcote displays when he paints animals of the brute
creation. When his picture of 'Balaam and the Ass' was exhibited at the
Macklin Gallery, Northcote asked Fuseli's opinion of its merits, who
instantly said, 'My friend, you are an angel at an ass, but an ass at an
angel.'"
SYDNEY SMITH'S ACCOMPLISHED DONKEY, WITH FRANCIS JEFFREY ON HIS BACK.
Lady Holland[248] gives the following picture of her father's pet
donkey:--
"Amongst our rural delights at Heslington was the possession of a young
donkey which had been given up to our tender mercies from the time of
its birth, and in whose education we employed a large portion of our
spare time; and a most accomplished donkey it became under our tuition.
It would walk up-stairs, pick pockets, follow us in our walks like a
huge Newfoundland dog, and at the most distant sight of us in the field,
with ears down and tail erect, it set off in full bray to meet us.
These demonstrations on Bitty's part were met with not less affection on
ours, and Bitty was almost considered a member of the family.
"One day, when my elder brother and myself were training our beloved
Bitty with a pocket-handkerchief for a bridle, and his head crowned with
flowers, to run round our garden, who should arrive in the midst of our
sport but Mr Jeffrey. Finding my father out, he, with his usual kindness
towards young people, immediately joined in our sport, and to our
infinite delight, mounted our donkey. He was proceeding in triumph,
amidst our shouts of laughter, when my father and mother, in company, I
believe, with Mr Horner and Mr Murray, returned from their walk, and
beheld this scene from the garden-door. Though years and years have
passed away since, I still remember the joy-inspiring laughter that
burst from my father at this unexpected sight, as, advancing towards his
old friend, with a face beaming with delight, and with extended hands,
he broke forth in the following impromptu:
'Witty as Horatius Flaccus,
As great a Jacobin as Gracchus;
Short, though not as fat as Bacchus,
Riding on a little jackass.'
"These lines were afterwards repeated by some one to Mr ---- at Holland
House, just before he was introduced for the first time to Mr Jeffrey,
and they caught his fancy to such a degree that he could not get them
out of his head, but kept repeating them in a low voice all the time Mr
Jeffrey was conversing with him.
"I must end Bitty's history, as he has been introduced, by saying that
he followed us to Foston; and after serving us faithfully for thirteen
years, on our leaving Yorkshire, was permitted by our kind friend, Lord
Carlisle, to spend the rest of his days in idleness and plenty, in his
beautiful park, with an unbounded command of thistles."
SYDNEY SMITH ON THE SAGACITY OF THE ASS; A LADY SCARCELY SO WISE AS ONE.
The Rev. Sydney Smith[249] writes to Colonel Fox in October 1836:--
"MY DEAR CHARLES,--If you have ever paid any attention to the habits of
animals, you will know that donkeys are remarkably cunning in opening
gates. The way to stop them is to have two latches instead of one. A
human being has two hands, and lifts up both latches at once; a donkey
has only one nose, and latch _a_ drops, as he quits it to lift up latch
_b_. Bobus and I had the grand luck to see little Aunty engaged
intensely with this problem. She was taking a walk, and was arrested by
a gate with this formidable difficulty: the donkeys were looking on to
await the issue. Aunty lifted up the first latch with the most perfect
success, but found herself opposed by a second; flushed with victory,
she quitted the first latch, and rushed at the second; her success was
equal, till in the meantime the first dropped. She tried this two or
three times, and, to her utter astonishment, with the same results; the
donkeys brayed, and Aunty was walking away in great dejection, till
Bobus and I recalled her with loud laughter, showed her that she had
two hands, and roused her to vindicate her superiority over the donkeys.
I mention this to you to request that you will make no allusion to this
animal, as she is remarkably touchy on this subject, and also that you
will not mention it to Lady Mary!"
* * * * *
Lady Holland relates a practical joke of her father's, which the witty
canon carried out at his rectory of Combe Florey. "Opposite was a
beautiful bank, with a hanging wood of fine old beech and oak, on the
summit of which presented themselves, to our astonished eyes, two
donkeys with deers' antlers fastened on their heads, which ever and anon
they shook, much wondering at their horned honours; whilst the attendant
donkey boy, in Sunday garb, stood grinning and blushing at their side.
'There, Lady ----! you said the only thing this place wanted to make it
perfect was deer; what do you say now? I have, you see, ordered my game
gamekeeper to drive my deer into the most picturesque point of view.
Excuse their long ears, a little peculiarity belonging to parsonic deer.
Their voices, too, are singular; but we do our best for you, and you are
too true a friend of the Church to mention our defects.' All this, of
course, amidst shouts of laughter, whilst his own merry laugh might be
heard above us all, ringing through the valley, and making the very
echoes laugh in chorus."
ASSES' DUTY FREE!
During the debate on Sir Robert Peel's tariff, the admission of asses'
duty free caused much merriment. Lord T., who had just read "Vestiges of
the Natural History of Creation," remarked that the House had, he
supposed, passed the donkey clause out of respect to its
ancestors.--"It is a wise measure," said a popular novelist, "especially
as it affects the importation of food; for, should a scarcity come, we
should otherwise have to fall back on the food of our
forefathers."--"And, pray, what is that?" asked an
archaeologist.--"Thistles," replied Lord T.[250]
THACKERAY AND THE EGYPTIAN DONKEY.
When the English author landed at Alexandria, there were many scenes and
sounds to dispel all romantic notions; among these "a yelling chorus of
donkey boys shrieking, 'Ride, sir!--donkey, sir!--I say, sir!' in
excellent English. The placid sphinxes, brooding o'er the Nile,
disappeared with that wild shriek of the donkey boys. You might be as
well impressed with Wapping as with your first step on Egyptian soil.
"The riding of a donkey is, after all, not a dignified occupation. A man
resists the offer first, somehow as an indignity. How is that poor
little, red-saddled, long-eared creature to carry you? Is there to be
one for you and another for your legs? Natives and Europeans, of all
sizes, passed by, it is true, mounted upon the same contrivance. I
waited until I got into a very private spot, where nobody could see me,
and then ascended--why not say descended at once?--on the poor little
animal. Instead of being crushed at once, as perhaps the writer
expected, it darted forward, quite briskly and cheerfully, at six or
seven miles an hour; requiring no spur or admonitive to haste, except
the shrieking of the little Egyptian _gamin_, who ran along by asinus's
side."[251]
BEST TO LET MULES HAVE THEIR OWN WAY.
Dr John Moore, in crossing the Alps, found they had nothing but the
sagacity of their mules to trust to. "For my own part," he says, "I was
very soon convinced that it was much safer on all dubious occasions to
depend on theirs than on my own. For as often as I was presented with a
choice of difficulties, and the mule and I were of different opinions,
if, becoming more obstinate than he, I insisted on his taking my track,
I never failed to repent it, and often was obliged to return to the
place where the controversy had begun, and follow the path to which he
had pointed at first.
"It is entertaining to observe the prudence of these animals in making
their way down such dangerous rocks. They sometimes put their heads over
the edge of the precipice, and examine with anxious circumspection every
possible way by which they can descend, and at length are sure to fix on
that which, upon the whole, is the best. Having observed this in several
instances, I laid the bridle on the neck of my mule, and allowed him to
take his own way, without presuming to control him in the smallest
degree. This is doubtless the best method, and what I recommend to all
my friends in their journey through life, when they have mules for their
companions."[252]
ZEBRA.--"_Un ane rayee._"
A FRENCHMAN'S "DOUBLE-ENTENDRE."
When, in 1805, Patrick Lattin, an officer of the Irish Brigade, was
residing in Paris, a M. de Montmorency, whose Christian name was Anne,
made his appearance, announcing that he was enabled to return to France,
in consequence of the First Consul having scratched his name on the list
of _emigres_. "_A present donc_," observed Lattin, "_mon cher Anne, tu
es un Zebre--un ane rayee._"[253]
FOOTNOTES:
[239] "The Poems of S. T. Coleridge," pp. 26, 27 (1844).
[240] "Memoirs of the Life of William Collins, R.A.," by his son, W.
Wilkie Collins, vol. i. p. 232.
[241] Edition of Sir T. D. Lauder, Bart., vol. ii. p. 273.
[242] "Gilpin's Forest Scenery," vol. ii. p. 275. Edited by Sir T. D.
Lauder.
[243] Mark Lemon, "Jest Book," p. 129.
[244] Lemon, "Jest Book," p. 307.
[245] Photius, quoted by Southey in his "Common-Place Book," first
series, p. 588.
[246] "Memoirs of the Life of the Right Hon. Warren Hastings, compiled
from original papers," by the Rev. G. R. Gleig, M.A., vol. iii. p. 367.
[247] "The Life and Writings of Henry Fuseli, Esq., M.A., R.A.," the
former written and the latter edited by John Knowles, Esq., F.R.S., vol.
i. p. 364.
[248] "A Memoir of the Rev. Sydney Smith," by his daughter, Lady
Holland, &c., vol. i. p. 152.
[249] "Memoirs and Letters of Rev. Sydney Smith," vol. ii. p. 393.
[250] "A Century of Anecdote from 1760 to 1860," by John Timbs, F.S.A.,
vol. i. p. 252 (1864).
[251] "Notes of a Journey from Cornhill to Grand Cairo," by Mr M. A.
Titmarsh, p. 177 (1846).
[252] "View of Society and Manners in France, Switzerland, and Germany,"
vol. i. pp. 191, 192 (9th edition).
CAMEL.
Truly the Ship of the Desert, and one that by Lewis and Henry Warren has
afforded the subject of many a pleasing picture. The camel has a most
patriarchal look about him.
CAPTAIN WILLIAM PEEL, R.N. REMARKS ON CAMELS.