THE SECRETARY AND THE LADY
The chief visitor to the little house in the cross street two days later
was James Sefton, the agile Secretary, who was in a fine humour with
himself and did not take the trouble to conceal it. Much that conduced
to his satisfaction had occurred, and the affairs that concerned him
most were going well. The telegrams sent by him from the Wilderness to a
trusty agent at an American seaport and forwarded thence by mail to
London and Paris had been answered, and the replies were of a nature
most encouraging. Moreover, the people here in Richmond in whose
fortunes he was interested were conducting themselves in a manner that
he wished. Therefore the Secretary was pleasant.
He was received by Lucia Catherwood in the little parlour where Prescott
had often sat. She was grave and pale, as if she suffered, and there was
no touch of warmth in the greeting that she gave the Secretary. But he
did not appear to notice it, although he inquired after the health of
herself and Miss Grayson, all in the manner of strict formality. She sat
down and waited there, grave and quiet, watching him with calm, bright
eyes.
The Secretary, too, was silent for a few moments, surveying the woman
who sat opposite him, so cool and so composed. He felt once more the
thrill of involuntary admiration that she always aroused in him.
"It is a delicate business on which I come to you, Miss Catherwood," he
said. "I wish to speak of Miss Harley and my suit there; it is not
prospering, as you know. Pardon me for speaking to you of such intimate
feelings. I know that it is not customary, but I have thought that you
might aid me."
"Was it for such a reason that you gave me a pass to Richmond and helped
me to come here?"
"Well, in part, at least; but I can say in my own defense, Miss
Catherwood, that I bore you no ill will. Perhaps, if the first phase of
the affair had never existed, I should have helped you anyhow to come to
Richmond had I known that you wished to do so."
"And how can I help you now?"
The Secretary shrugged his shoulders. He did not wish to say all that
was in his mind. Moreover, he sought to bring her will into subjection
to his. The personal sense that he was coming into contact with a mind
as strong as his own did not wholly please him, yet by a curious
contrariety this very feeling increased his admiration of her.
"I was willing that you should come to Richmond," he said, "for a reason
that I will not mention and which perhaps has passed away. I have had in
my mind--well, to put it plainly, a sort of bargain, a bargain in which
I did not consult you. I thought that you might help me with Helen
Harley, that--well, to speak plainly again, that your attractions might
remove from my path one whom I considered a rival."
A deep flush overspread her face, and then, retreating, left it paler
than ever. Her fingers were pressed tightly into the palms of her hands,
but she said nothing.
"I am frank," continued the Secretary, "but it is best between us.
Finesse would be wasted upon one with your penetrating mind, and I pay
you the highest compliment I know when I discard any attempt to use it.
I find that I have made a great mistake in more respects than one. The
man who I thought stood in my way thought so himself at one time, but he
knows better. Helen Harley is very beautiful and all that is good, but
still there is something lacking. I knew it long ago, but only in the
last few weeks has it had its effect upon me. This man I thought my
rival has turned aside into a new path, and I--well, it seems that fate
intends that he shall be my rival even in his changes--have followed
him."
"What do you mean?" she asked, a sudden fire leaping to her eyes and a
cold dread clutching her heart.
"I mean," he said, "that however beautiful Helen Harley may be, there
are others as beautiful and one perhaps who has something that she
lacks. What is that something? The power to feel passion, to love with a
love that cares for nothing else, and if need be to hate with a hate
that cares for nothing else. She must be a woman with fire in her veins
and lightning in her heart, one who would appear to the man she loves
not only a woman, but as a goddess as well."
"And have you found such a woman?"
She spoke in cold, level tones.
The Secretary looked at her sitting there, her head thrown slightly
back, her eyes closed and the curve of her chin defiant to the uttermost
degree. The wonder that he had not always loved this woman instead of
Helen Harley returned to him. She was a girl and yet she was not; there
was nothing about her immature or imperfect; she was girl and woman,
too. She had spoken to him in the coldest of tones, yet he believed in
the fire beneath the ice. He wished to see what kind of torch would set
the flame. His feeling for her before had been intellectual, now it was
sentimental and passionate.
James Sefton realized that Lucia Catherwood was not merely a woman to be
admired, but one to be loved and desired. She had appealed to him as one
with whom to make a great career; now she appealed to him as a woman
with whom to live. He remembered the story of her carrying the wounded
Prescott off the battlefield in her arms and in the dark, alone and
undaunted, amid all the dead of the Wilderness. She was tall and strong,
but was it so much strength and endurance as love and sacrifice? He was
filled with a sudden fierce and wild jealousy of Prescott, because, when
wounded and stricken down, she had sheltered him within her arms.
His look again followed the curves of her noble face and figure, the
full development of strong years, and a fire of which he had not deemed
himself capable burned in the eyes of the Secretary. The pale shade of
Helen Harley floated away in the mist, but Lucia met his silent gaze
firmly, and again she asked in cold, level tones:
"Have you found such a woman?"
"Yes, I have found her," replied the Secretary. "Perhaps I did not know
it until to-day; perhaps I was not sure, but I have found her. I am a
cold and what one would call a selfish man, but ice breaks up under
summer heat, and I have yielded to the spell of your presence, Lucia."
"Miss Catherwood!"
"Well, Miss Catherwood--no, Lucia it shall be! I swear it shall be
Lucia! I do not care for courtesy now, and you are compelled to hear me
say it. It is a noble name, a beautiful one, and it gives me pleasure to
say it. Lucia! Lucia! Lucia!"
"Go on, then, since I cannot stop you."
"I said that I have found such a woman and I have. Lucia, I love you,
because I cannot help myself, just as you cannot help my calling you
Lucia. And, Lucia, it is a love that worships, too. There is nothing bad
in it. I would put myself at your feet. You shall be a queen to me and
to all the rest of the world, for I have much to offer you besides my
poor self. However the war may end, I shall be rich, very rich, and we
shall have a great career. Let it be here if you will, or in the North,
or in Europe. You have only to say."
There was then a feeling for him not all hate in the soul of Lucia
Catherwood. If he loved her, that was a cloak for many sins, and she
could not doubt that he did, because the man hitherto so calm and the
master of himself was transformed. His words were spoken with all the
fire and heat of a lover, his eyes were alight, and his figure took on a
certain dignity and nobility. Lucia Catherwood, looking at him, said to
herself in unspoken words: "Here is a great man and he loves me." Her
heart was cold, but a ray of tenderness came from it nevertheless.
The Secretary paused and in his agitation leaned his arm upon the
mantel. Again his eyes dwelt upon her noble curves, her sumptuous
figure, and the soul that shone from her eyes. Never before had he felt
so utter a sense of powerlessness. Hitherto to desire a thing was with
him merely the preliminary to getting it. Even when Helen Harley turned
away from him, he believed that by incessant pursuit he could yet win
her. There he took repulses lightly, but here it was the woman alone who
decreed, and whatever she might say no act or power of his could change
it. He stood before her a suppliant.
"You have honoured me, Mr. Sefton, with this declaration of your love,"
she said, and her tones sounded to him as cold and level as ever, "but I
cannot--cannot return it."
"Neither now nor ever? You may change!"
"I cannot change, Mr. Sefton." She spoke a little sadly--out of pity for
him--and shook her head.
"You think that my loyalty is due to Helen Harley, but I do not love
her! I cannot!"
"No, it is not that," she said. "Helen Harley may not love you; I do not
think she does. But I am quite sure of myself. I know that I can never
love you."
"You may not now," he said hotly, "but you can be wooed and you can be
won. I could not expect you to love me at once--I am not so foolish--but
devotion, a long devotion, may change a woman's heart."
"No," she repeated, "I cannot change."
She seemed to be moving away from him. She was intangible and he could
not grasp her. But he raised his head proudly.
"I do not come as a beggar," he said. "I offer something besides
myself."
Her eyes flashed; she, too, showed her pride.
"I stand alone, I am nothing except myself, but my choice in the most
important matter that comes into a woman's life shall be as free as the
air."
She, too, raised her head and met him with an unflinching gaze.
"I also understand," he said moodily. "You love Prescott."
A flush swept over her face, and then retreating left it pale again, but
she was too proud to deny the charge. She would not utter an untruth nor
an evasion even on so delicate a subject. There was an armed truce of
silence between them for a few minutes, till the evil genius of the
Secretary rose and he felt again that desire to subject her will to his
own.
"If you love this young man, are you quite sure that he loves you?" he
asked in quiet tones.
"I will not discuss such a subject," she replied, flushing.
"But I choose to speak of it. You saw him at the President's house two
nights ago making obvious love to some one else--a married woman. Are
you sure that he is worthy?"
She maintained an obstinate silence, but became paler than ever.
"If so, you have a mighty faith," he went on relentlessly. "His face was
close to Mrs. Markham's. Her hair almost touched his cheek."
"I will not listen to you!" she cried.
"But you must. Richmond is ringing with talk about them. If I were a
woman I should wish my lover to come to me with a clean reputation, at
least."
He paused, but she would not speak. Her face was white and her teeth
were set firmly together.
"I wish you would go!" she said at last, with sudden fierceness.
"But I will not. I do not like you the least when you rage like a
lioness."
She sank back, coldness and quiet coming to her as suddenly as her anger
had leaped up.
"You have told me that you cannot love me," he said, "and I have shown
you that the man you love cannot love you. I refuse to go. Awhile since
I felt that I was powerless before you, and that I must abide by your
yea and nay; but I feel so no longer. Love, I take it, is a battle, and
I use a military simile because there is war about us. If a good
general wishes to take a position, and if he fails in the direct
charge--if he is repelled with loss--he does not on that account
retreat; but he resorts to artifice, to stratagem, to the mine, to the
sly and adroit approach."
Her courage did not fail, but she felt a chill when he talked in this
easy and sneering manner. She had liked him--a little--when he disclosed
his love so openly and so boldly, but now no ray of tenderness came from
her heart.
"I can give you more of the news of Richmond," said the Secretary, "and
this concerns you as intimately as the other. Perhaps I should refrain
from telling you, but I am jealous enough in my own cause to tell it
nevertheless. Gossip in Richmond--well, I suppose I must say it--has
touched your name, too. It links you with me."
"Mr. Sefton," she said in the old cold, level tones, "you spoke of my
changing, but I see that you have changed. Five minutes ago I thought
you a gentleman."
"If I am doing anything that seems mean to you I do it for love of you
and the desire to possess you. That should be a sufficient excuse with
any woman. Perhaps you do not realize that your position depends upon
me. You came here because I wrote something on a piece of paper. There
has been a whisper that you were once a spy in this city--think of it;
the name of spy does not sound well. Rumour has touched you but lightly,
yet if I say the word it can envelope and suffocate you."
"You have said that you love me; do men make threats to the women whom
they love?"
"Ah, it is not that," he pleaded. "If a man have a power over a woman he
loves, can you blame him if he use it to get that which he wishes?"
"Real love knows no such uses," she said, and then she rose from her
chair, adding:
"I shall not listen any longer, Mr. Sefton. You remind me of my
position, and it is well, perhaps, that I do not forget it. It may be,
then, that I have not listened to you too long."
"And I," he replied, "if I have spoken roughly I beg your pardon. I
could wish that my words were softer, but my meaning must remain the
same."
He bowed courteously--it was the suave Secretary once more--and then he
left her.
Lucia Catherwood sat, dry-eyed and motionless, for a long time, gazing
at the opposite wall and seeing nothing there. She asked herself now why
she had come back to Richmond. To be with Miss Grayson, her next of kin,
and because she had no other place? That was the reason she had given to
herself and others--but was it the whole reason?
Now she wished that she had never seen Richmond. The first visit had
ended in disaster, and the second in worse. She hated the sight of
Richmond. What right had she among these people who were not hers? She
was a stranger, a foreigner, of another temperament, another cast of
thought.
Her mind flitted over the threats, open and veiled, of the Secretary,
but she had little fear for herself. There she had the power to fight,
and her defiant spirit would rise to meet such a conflict. But this
other! She must sit idle and let it go on. She was surprised at her
sudden power of hatred, which was directed full against a woman in whose
eyes--even in moments of peace--there were lurking green tints.
He had done much for her! Well, she had done as much for him and hence
there was no balance between them. She resolved to cast him out wholly,
to forget him, to make him part of a past that was not only dead but
forgotten. But she knew even as she took this resolution that she feared
the Secretary because she believed it lay within his power to ruin
Prescott.
The door was opened and Miss Grayson came quietly into the room. She was
a cool, soothing little person. Troubles, if they did not die, at least
became more tolerable in her presence. She sat in silence sewing, but
observed Lucia's face and knew that she was suffering much or it would
not show in the countenance of one with so strong a will.
"Has Mr. Sefton been gone long?" she asked after awhile.
"Yes, but not long enough."
Miss Grayson said nothing and Miss Catherwood was the next to interrupt
the silence.
"Charlotte," she said, "I intend to leave Richmond at once."
"Leaving Richmond is not a mere holiday trip now," said Miss Grayson.
"There are formalities, many and difficult."
"But I must go!" exclaimed Miss Catherwood vehemently, all her anger and
grief flashing out--it seemed to her that the gates suddenly opened. "I
tell you I must leave this city! I hate everything in it, Charlotte,
except you! I am sorry that I ever saw it!"
Miss Grayson went on calmly with her sewing.
"I shall not let you go," she said in her quiet, even voice. "I could
have endured life without you had I never had you, but having had you I
cannot. I shall not let you go. You must think of me now, Lucia, and not
of yourself."
Miss Grayson looked up and smiled. The smile of an old maid, not herself
beautiful, can be very beautiful at times.
"See what a burden I am," Miss Catherwood protested. "We nearly starved
once."
Then she blushed--blushed most beautifully, thinking of a certain round
gold piece, still unspent.
"You are no burden at all, but a support. I shall have money enough
until this war ends. The Confederate Government, you know, Lucia, paid
me for the confiscations--not as much as they were worth, but as much as
I could expect--and we have been living on it."
The face of Lucia Catherwood altered. It expressed a singular tenderness
as she looked at Miss Grayson, so soft, so small and so gray.
"Charlotte," she said, "I wish that I were as good as you. You are never
excited, passionate or angry. You always know what you ought to do and
you always do it."
Miss Grayson looked up again and her eyes suddenly sparkled.
"You make a mistake, a great mistake, Lucia," she said. "It is only the
people who do wrong now and then who are really good. Those of us who do
right all the time merely keep in that road because we cannot get out of
it. I think it's a lack of temperament--there's no variety about us. And
oh, Lucia, I tell you honestly, I get so tired of keeping forever in the
straight and narrow path merely because it's easiest for me to walk that
way. I don't mean to be sacrilegious, but I think that all the rejoicing
in Heaven over the hundredth man who has sinned and repented was not
because he had behaved well at last, but because he was so much more
interesting than all the other ninety-nine put together. I wish I had
your temper and impulses, Lucia, that I might flash into anger now and
then and do something rash--something that I should be sorry for later
on, but which in my secret heart I should be glad I had done. Oh, I get
so tired of being just a plain, goody-goody little woman who will always
do the right thing in the most uninteresting way; a woman about whom
there is no delightful uncertainty; a woman on whom you can always
reckon just as you would on the figure 4 or 6 or any other number in
mathematics. I am like such a figure--a fixed quantity, and that is why
I, Charlotte Grayson, am just a plain little old maid."
She had risen in her vehemence, but when she finished she sank back into
her chair and a faint, delicate pink bloomed in her face. Miss Charlotte
Grayson was blushing! Lucia was silent, regarding her. She felt a great
flood of tenderness for this prim, quiet little woman who had, for a
rare and fleeting moment, burst her shell. Miss Grayson had always
accepted so calmly and so quietly the life which seemed to have been
decreed for her that it never before occurred to Lucia to suppose any
tempestuous feelings could rise in that breast; but she was a woman like
herself, and the tie that bound them, already strong, suddenly grew
stronger.
"Charlotte," she said, placing her hand gently upon the old maid's
shoulder, "it seems to me sometimes that God has not been quite fair to
women. He gives us too little defense against our own hearts."
"Best discard them entirely," said Miss Grayson briskly. "Come, Lucia,
you promised to help me with my sewing."