Her first waking thought was not of Lindaberry, but of Massingale. It
seemed as if he were beside her, his restraining touch on her arm,
trouble in his eyes, as on the night before when he had pleaded with her
under the hissing arc-lights and the background of curious creatures of
the dark. Instead, it was Ida Summers, curled on the bed, who was
tickling her arm with a feather, crying:
"Wake up, lazy-bones!"
Dore comprehended, even in her foggy state, that if such a reproach
could come from Ida Summers, it must be very late indeed! She shot a
hasty glance at the tower clock; it was nearing twelve.
"Any broken bones? What happened? You're a nice one! Why didn't you come
back? Don't lecture me any more!" continued Ida, in rapid fire, and
emphasizing her remarks by pinching the toes under the covers. "Poor
Harry Benson! pining away, one eye on the door and one on the clock!
Which reminds me--he's coming for lunch."
Harry Benson had been the youngest and most susceptible of Dore's
abandoned escorts.
"Oh, is that his name?"
"Heartless creature!" continued Ida, rolling her eyes. "Three
automobiles, shover, father a patent-medicine king. I might have
married him, Do, if you hadn't popped up! However, this is my business
day; I forgot. How'm I going to get hold of Zip?"
"So that's the game?" said Dore, laughing for reasons that will appear.
"Be careful how you do it, though; Mr. Benson strikes me as a very
_rapid_ advancer!"
"Yes, Miss Pussy," exclaimed Ida, laughing; "you give very good
advice--in the morning. However, I just must have a fur muff I saw
yesterday, and that's all there is to it! Also, my room's too small for
visitors, so get up and dress, as I'm going to receive him here. What's
Zip's telephone?"
"You'll find it on the pad," said Dore, rising precipitately.
"Good, the bait's planted," said Ida, presently reappearing. "I told Zip
to be most _oxpensive_; Benson's a fierce spender!"
"How do you know?"
"A girl friend of mine," said Ida evasively.
"What's become of that little fellow you annexed at the _Free Press_?"
"Tony Rex? Bothers the life out of me. Got it bad! Sighs and poetry.
Jealous as a Turk! Doesn't want me to pose--wants to shut me up in a
convent. Lord! I don't know how to shake him!"
"I thought him rather insignificant," said Dore, at the dressing-table.
"Nothing of the sort!" said Ida vigorously. "Every one says he's a
coming man--ideas, humor, massive brain, you know, and all that sort of
thing. Only--only, he gets in the way all the time--trip over him.
Well, are you going to give an account of yourself last night? Say, what
a shame it is some squillionaire doesn't endow us! It's such a nuisance
getting your clothes!" As she forgot a question as soon as she asked it,
she was off on a digression. "I say, Dodo, it's a marvel how some girls
do manage! You remember Adele Vickers, who's in light opera?"
"Chorus," corrected Dore.
"Same thing for the Johnnies--only more so! Say, you'll die when you
hear this! I was up in her hotel, calling, a couple of nights ago, just
before dinner, when one of them married T-Willys blows in, with a
how-can-you-resist-me-little-girl look. You know him--Penniston
Schwartz, money-bags in something, death on manicures. Are you
listening?"
"Go on...."
"Del had no dinner in sight, so she winked at me to stick close, and
waited for a bid, one eye on the clock. The old beau--he oils his
mustache and looks at you with buttery eyes--kept telling us we were
breaking up his happy home with our resplendent beauty, and a lot of
fluff that was quite beyond the point, for Del was fidgeting, getting
ready to _assist_, when the hope of the evening says:
"'Awful sorry I can't take you little rosebuds out to dinner,--family,
the dear family, you know,--but call up a waiter and let me order.'
"Order? You should have seen what Del concocted! There wasn't a
dollar-mark got by her! It must have footed twenty plunks, at the least!
'Course she thought he'd pay at the desk--naturally! That was the awful
slip! No sooner had the waiter disappeared than he takes a fifty-dollar
bill from his purse, flips it on the table, and says, with a wink:
"'The change's for the waiter--of course!'
"I thought I'd die choking, watching Adele, staring from the bill to the
clock, aching for him to go, but quiet as a mouse--oh, perfect manner,
crocheting away at a dinky tie until I thought the needles would fly in
pieces! When the family man got up to go, say! you should see her bounce
him out of the door and leap to the telephone, crying:
"'Make that a veal chop and mashed!'"
"Too late?" said Dore, laughing.
"Well, we lost as far as the first entree; but, as Del said, the next
time such a thing occurs, there'll be a wise waiter on the other end of
the line! Where's Snyder?"
"They opened in Atlantic City last week; expect to return Monday."
"They say she's got a big hit! Glad of it!"
"So what's-his-name--your cartoonist--doesn't approve?" said Dore,
smiling.
"He's a perfect pest. Furious at Vaughan Chandler and that crowd.
Lectures me from morning to night--heavens!"
"What's wrong?"
"He's coming around for me at one. He'll be wild if he sees Benson!
Lord! Dodo, what shall I do?"
"Leave word you're out with Josephus!"
"That won't stop him!" said Ida scornfully. "He's liable to go to sleep
on the door-step!"
"Leave him to me, then," said Dodo, with the facility of long practise.
"I'll receive him while you two vamose."
"I say, Do," said Ida, with sudden gratitude, "I owe you a pointer." She
went on tiptoe to the door of Winona's room, listened a moment, and
returning stealthily, held up crossed fingers. "Don't trust her!"
"What do you mean?"
"Trespassing--examine your fences--all I can say!" exclaimed Ida, who
fled laughing, not to be cross-questioned.
Half an hour later there was being played one of those little scenes so
familiar in Salamanderland, the secret of which may bring enlightenment
to several fatuous self-made young men of the world. Mr. Harry Benson, a
young gentleman of great future intelligence, now extremely avid of all
the mysteries of a puzzling strata of the feminine world, was strutting
contentedly in the presence of Miss Ida Summers and Miss Dore Baxter,
the actress, friend of such howling swells as Judge Massingale and
Garret Lindaberry. The two girls, with a perfect sense of values, were
listening with accented indifference to his flow of self-exposition,
which consisted in a narration of how many bottles he had consumed two
nights before, how much money he had won at bridge, what he had paid for
his socks, his cravats and the silk shirts which bore his initials, when
there came a slight deferential scraping at the door, and at a quick
summons, the figure of a diminutive Jewish pedler appeared, doubled
under a pack, bowing convulsively, wreathed in smiles. He had been
christened "Zip," a contraction of some unpronounceable name, and his
motto was: "Zip buys or sells anythings!" He was a general intermediary
for the Salamanders, disposing of every conceivable article when money
had to be raised; and as he enjoyed this confidential intimacy with
lively and pretty girls, he contented himself, good-humoredly, with no
more than two hundred per cent. profit.
"Oh, dear me, Zip," cried Ida instantly. "It's no use--come around some
other day!"
"Brought der shtockings," said Zip, in an untranslatable accent.
"No money--I'm broke to-day! Next week."
"I trust you!" said the pedler, advancing benignly, perfect comedian
that he was, by a hundred such performances.
"No, no!" said Ida firmly. "That's not my way! No bills; cash only!"
Mr. Harry Benson, who had been on the point of indiscreetly offering a
loan, bit his tongue, thoroughly convinced by her manner.
"Oh, now, Mees Sumpers, beezness is beezness--ain't it right? I trust
you!" said Zip, turning to one and the other with a look of the greatest
dejection.
"Next week--next week."
Zip, during this preliminary canter, had slipped his pack to the ground
and was uncovering the tarpaulin.
"Bretty laties must have bretty tings; vot? All silk! Barkain! De most
vonderful lincherie--feren frend shmuggles it through de coostom house.
Sh'h dot's a secret! Look at dot hein?"
"No, no; don't want to see a thing. Don't tempt me!"
"Mees Baxter?"
"Impossible," said Dore, laughing. "Bad month! I'm saving up for
Christmas presents!"
"Vell, it don't cost nottings to look, eh?" said Zip, suddenly bringing
to light a mass of pink and white feminine lingerie. "Eef it don't
embarrass de shentlemans?"
"Come on! Let's have a look at them!" said Harry Benson, gorgeously
excited at the idea of this devilish pastime.
The two girls continued to protest, averting their eyes, while the prop,
alternately eager and hesitating, afraid that too abrupt an offer would
offend their sensibilities, continued to run through the bewildering
array of secret silks and laces. Perhaps he was decided finally by an
encouraging wink from Zip, who thus telegraphed to him that, being his
friend, he advised him to dare. Anyhow, very red and confused, he
blurted out:
"Look here, girls, don't be furious at me! Give me this pleasure, won't
you? I've won an awful lot at bridge lately. Let me make a little
present! By jove, Ida, your birthday's next week. Let me beat all the
crowd to it. Vaughan'll be furious! What a lark! And you, Miss Baxter,
do have a birthday too, won't you?"
She laughed.
"Mine's just passed."
"Passed? Then I come in late. Bully for you! It's a go, isn't it? You're
the right sort! I can't tell you how I appreciate it!"
"I don't think I ought to," said Ida, looking doubtfully at Dore.
"It is unusual, but I think Mr. Benson won't make any mistakes," said
Dore, beaming on him with a smile of confidence.
Benson shook her hand gratefully.
Zip rubbed his hands together in delight, wagging his bearded head.
"Goot, goot! Make de bretty kirls habby, eh? Vat apout it, hein? Trow in
de shtockinks, eh?"
The two girls exclaimed furiously. Benson, laughing and roguish,
defended the pedler from their wrath, protesting he was loaded with
money, crazy to get rid of it, carrying his point in the end. Zip,
recipient of a hundred-dollar bill, departed, grinning and wagging; nor
did Mr. Benson, in the joyous delight of this newly permitted intimacy,
for a moment suspect that the silks and laces which now lay so
provokingly on the table would presently return to the pack of the
histrionic Zip, at forty per cent. off for commission.
For the accuracy of historic customs, another detail must be added. When
silk stockings were purchased, the color chosen was invariably pink, one
pair of that color being in the cooperative possession, always at hand,
to be borrowed hastily and worn for a convincing effect on the last
purchaser.
Ten minutes later Josephus produced a card which Ida, on receiving,
said:
"How stupid, Josephus! That's for Miss Baxter. Come on, Harry. Dodo's
most particular and secretive--we won't embarrass her, will we?" She
opened the door of Winona's room, lingering a moment behind the laughing
prop to whisper: "Tell Tony to telephone this evening. Say I've called
up from a studio--had to finish rush job--awful sorry! Be particular!"
She disappeared, locking the door for security's sake.
The next moment Mr. Tony Rex entered, in evident agitation and
surprise--Ida and Harry Benson slipping down-stairs by the second
stairway as Dore was saying glibly:
"Oh, Mr. Rex, Miss Summers has just telephoned! She wants me to tell
you--"
But she proceeded no further. Mr. Tony Rex was watching her with a
sarcastic smile.
"Come off! Don't hand me any _useless_ fibs, Miss Baxter! Ida's here; I
took the precaution to find out! What's her little game to-day?"
Suddenly, as if struck by an idea, he moved to the window. Below, Ida
Summers was just springing to her seat in the big yellow automobile.
Dore had no time to prevent him; in fact, she had momentarily lost her
wits. One thing had startled her on his arrival--his shoes: patent
leather with yellow tops--not chamois, but close enough to recall the
dreadful wraith of Josh Nebbins.
"So she's chucked me for a stuffed image like Benson?" he said grimly.
"Oh, I know the owner; I asked the chauffeur!"
"What a terrible man!" she thought. Even in that he recalled that other
persistent suitor! Aloud she said hastily, as he took up his hat:
"What are you going to do?"
He affected to misunderstand the question.
"Look here, Miss Baxter," he said abruptly, "I'm dead serious in this!
I'm going to marry that little kid, and it's going to happen soon!
Likewise, I'm a wise one, and I know just the game she's playing--and
the dangers! Some of you can keep your heads--maybe you can and maybe
you can't! She's nothing but a babe--she doesn't know! That's why I'm
going to stop this fooling, P. D. Q.!"
"Look out! You can't drive a girl into things!" said Dore.
"Oh, yes, I can! Watch me!" he said confidently. "Now, I'm going to find
where they're lunching, buy up the table next, and see how jolly a
little party Miss Ida'll have out of it, with me for an audience! Lesson
number one!"
He was off in a rush before she could recover from her laughter. Left at
last alone, she sought to return into herself, to adjust the Dodo of the
day to the surprising self of the night before. It even struck her as
incongruous that, after the depths she had sounded in the silence and
loneliness of the world, she should now be forced to return to the
superficiality of banter and petty intrigue. Lindaberry--she thought of
him as of a great wounded animal lifting up to her a thorn-stricken paw.
He would come for her in a few minutes, according to agreement, and she
half feared the encounter. Would it be disillusionment? Would all that
had so enveloped her with the mystery and charity of human relations now
dissipate thinly in the commonplace day? Had they been swayed simply by
a passing sentimentality, as he himself had feared? She did not know
quite what she hoped. She did not feel the slightest sentimental
inclination. She did not even attempt to dramatize herself as the good
angel. She had only an immense curiosity as to herself, wondering if she
had really discovered something new, if in fact it were possible for the
same Dore, who selfishly, in will-o'-the-wisp fashion, enticed men on to
mock their discomfiture, could open up a flood of womanly strength to
one who came to her in weakness.
To return into the exaltation of the night was impossible. After all,
the day was perhaps more real than the moods of dreams. She looked on
the experience in a comfortable, satisfied way, always incredulous of
her deeper moods, inclined to shun them with a defensive instinct that
life was safer when lived on the surface.
But the night which had awakened so many dormant yearnings had brought
back to her again the famine in her own soul. Lindaberry was yet
confused, Massingale clear and insistent. She had arrived, at last, in
her tortuous feminine logic, to the point where, in her longing, she
was willing to ask herself if there were any excuse for what he had
done. Once she sought to excuse him, she found small difficulty. He had
been very much of a gentleman. She had led him on, tried him beyond what
was right; and, even after the explosion, he had recovered himself,
tried to leave in order to protect her. There had been a moment of
weakness; but she had wished for that--yes, even compelled it. And then,
he cared! Yes, that was the great thought that emerged from the
confusion of the night: he cared! She knew it by the wound she had drawn
across his eyes, by the tone of his voice when he had pleaded with her
at the last. He cared, and he suffered as she suffered, fought as she
fought, to remain away! But he was married--he belonged to another
woman!
Marriage was to her an uncomprehended world, an _impasse_: a man
disappeared into it as into a monastery. When she had thought of
marriage, it was always as the end of life, irrevocable, and she
admitted it only when some one came so strong and bewildering that
nothing else mattered. She never had thought of it as an experiment, nor
as something that could be rejected if found lacking. That man and
woman, if unsuited, could still be yoked together before the world,
living each a separate life in private, was yet outside of her analysis
of human experience. There was the world of pleasure, and that world of
duty--marriage.
Curiously enough, Lindaberry's story of his own deception, and the
marriage of his brother--the glimpse he had given her behind the scenes
of Mrs. Jock--had started new questionings. Who could blame such a
husband for what he did? From which thought she proceeded to Massingale.
He did not love his wife--of that she was sure. What was the
arrangement, then? Perhaps he too concealed his cares, suffering in
silence. Even the figures of the two men disappeared before this new
obsession. She sought to create before herself the image of a wife--of
his wife; for at Tenafly's she had not, in her agitation, even turned to
look. Sometimes, with a feeling of guilt, she perceived a weak creature,
gentle and shrinking, all tears, before whom, at the thought of
inflicting pain, she retreated instinctively. At others, she saw a woman
in the imagined guise of Mrs. Jock, vulture-like, scornful, icy,
narrowed by worldly cravings, a pretty brute. Then she had a feeling as
if she were flinging herself between the two, husband and wife,
shielding the man from the woman.
"I must see her!" she said to herself passionately. She thought of
Estelle Monks. She would find some way where, unknown, she would be able
to look upon the face of Mrs. Massingale. And, not realizing all the
wilderness that was yawning before her, she repeated: "Oh, yes! I must
see her. I shan't have a moment's peace until I do!"
As if any peace were in store for her--no matter what she found!
When Lindaberry came to take her for lunch at a quiet country inn
somewhere up the Hudson, she went to him without reserve, surprised at
the strength of the impulses of tenderness, solicitude and protection
that awoke within her. She had not yet named to herself the danger of
the first overt step back to Massingale; perhaps, though, she
intuitively felt the set of the tide about her, and turned to this
better side of her nature. If what she might soon do lay beyond the
permitted, at least this man, this saving of a soul, should be to her
credit. Her religion was, indeed, of the simplest. If God would not
approve of her yielding to the yearning to see Massingale again,--or
what followed,--at least he would notice all the good she would pour
into the life of Lindaberry. It was a sort of bargain which she secretly
planned to offer: Lindaberry should buy her forgiveness! She felt
glorified by this thought, finding in herself depths of gentle strength
and maternal comforting which amazed her.
"Are we still dreaming, Dodo?" he said to her suddenly, when they were
free of the city's clamor.
She smiled appreciatively.
"It's not a dream; it's real!" she said energetically.
"You've taken up a pretty big contract, young lady!"
"And you?"
He thought a moment.
"And I. Five years ago it would have been like a kitten toying with a
ball. Now it's a question of the will--and the body! That's what we've
got to find out. The body's a curious thing, Dodo, and it has curious
ways of going back on you all at once, without as much as saying 'by
your leave.' There was a chap in at Doctor Lampson's this morning--chap
I knew in college, strong as a Hercules, a body just glowing with
strength. He'll be dead within the year--galloping consumption!"
"You went to a doctor?"
"The finest. Wanted to get down to facts, Dodo; find out what's going on
inside."
"What did he say?" she asked breathlessly.
"He said it could be done!" said Lindaberry in a matter-of-fact way. "We
talked over ways. But first, I thought I'd give you another chance."
"What do you mean?"
"Last night, out there--stars and all that--wasn't a fair start! How do
you feel now with a practical old sun winking down at you?" he asked,
with a quizzical smile that did not conceal the intensity of his
suspended waiting.
"Oh, Mr. Lindaberry!" she said impulsively. "Do it for your own self! Be
strong!"
"No," he said quietly; "I won't do it for myself. I'll make the fight
for you--to please you, Dodo! You've got hold of me as no one ever has.
And then you're not afraid, bless your childish eyes! Well, am I to do
it for you?"
She was quiet a moment, thrown out of all her mental calculations by the
swift electric appeal to her emotional self that came with his blunt
declaration. Men had loved her sooner or later, mildly or with
infatuation; but she had never before felt so deeply what she and a
divine hazard could mean in one life. Her eyes filled with sudden
tears.
"Do it for me!" she said gently, and the next moment her heart smote her
as if she had been guilty of a second lie.
"Now is a good date--rather close to Thanksgiving," he said, in his
chuckling Anglo-Saxon way. Then he laid one hand on her arm and said
solemnly: "Wrecks oughtn't to get sentimental. I won't! But remember
this, Dodo: you're the first breath of real life that's come to me.
You've got hold of me--strong! I'm going to win out for you--and I'm
going--" He halted as abruptly as he had begun. "Now, that's all till I
get straightened out. If I don't, forget it!"
"But you will!" she exclaimed, forgetting all her resolves to enlighten
him on the subject of her affections.
"There'll be some bad bumps," he said grimly. "I've got into this night
habit pretty deep--insomnia, and then anything to eat up the night.
Lampson's got some new system to try out on me. Later, perhaps, I'll
beat it for the woods; but just at present, a few weeks, I guess you can
do me more good than anything else!"
"Can I?" she said gratefully.
"Yes. Time for lunch now. Are you starved?" he said evasively. "I'll
talk over things and ways later."
As they came back, he went into detail about the fight ahead. Much that
he said was technical, and she did not comprehend all. Only that his
body had been fed too long on the consuming alcohol to be too suddenly
deprived.
"Which means," he added, with a smile, "that you mustn't get discouraged
if I break over the traces once or twice."
"Send for me!"
"Perhaps," he said doubtfully. "If I do, you need never be afraid, Dodo,
no matter how much others are. I would always do what you ask!"
"I could never be afraid of you!" she answered truthfully.
The impulse that brought her closer to him was so strong that, though
she said to herself that there was nothing of the sentimental in it, it
seemed to her that it might be something nobler, more unselfish, more
satisfying than that which she had conceived of as love between woman
and man. She even went so far as to wish to herself that it might have
been different, that she could have given him all without a lie, that
she could have gone bravely, casting the die, into life with Lindaberry.
If only she had not known Massingale! To give, to be loved, was one
thing, if she had not known the blinding intoxication of being taken, of
loving!
Three days later, after a half confidence to Estelle Monks, she went
with her to a society bazaar where Mrs. Massingale was in charge of a
booth. It was in one of the ballrooms of a new hotel, more overlaid with
gilt and ornaments than the rest, specially and artfully advertised as
quite the most expensive in the city. As a consequence, the rooms were
packed with a struggling gazing crowd, swirling about the counters
where the social patronesses looked on with the disdain of lap-dogs of
high degree.
"This one--lady in baby pink, sharp face," said Estelle Monks.
In that brief terrifying instant, before she was able to raise her eyes,
Dodo was shaken from head to foot. Never before had so much penetrating
despair crowded upon her in such a fraction of time!
She was at a counter of fragrant hand-bags, staring up into the face of
a bored, hostile, sharp-eyed woman, struggling for youth and
attention--a brown little wanderer from nowhere confronting a great
lady.
"What can I sell you?" said Mrs. Massingale with an instantaneous social
smile.
She found herself answering, breathlessly:
"No--nothing!"
The smile faded. The lady turned indifferently. It was close, she had
been on her feet almost two hours, she was pardonably annoyed at this
staring girl--and she showed it.
Suddenly, her face lit up, the surface smile on duty again. A group of
men advanced effusively, taking her hand delicately, like a fragile
ornament. She turned, and perceiving Dodo leaning vacantly, said:
"Excuse me!"
Without too much insistence she extended her fingers and moved her from
the path of possible purchasers.
Dodo went, hurt, crushed and revolting. There had been nothing which the
other had not had a right to do, yet in those seconds she had
experienced the deepest humiliation a woman can receive from another,
the disdain of caste.
She had come penitent and full of compassion. She went in a dangerous
mood; this woman, perfectly correct, perfectly emotionless, perfectly
cold and brilliant, might be Mrs. Massingale; she could never be his
wife!
"No, that is not a marriage!" she said indignantly to herself.
The thing she dreaded, and hoped for, had come to pass. She forgave him,
and she understood!
Yet she hesitated day after day, until ten had passed in a whirl,
alternately resolved, alternately recoiling. She had no defined
morality. She was one of a thousand young girls of to-day, adrift,
neither good nor bad, quite unmoral--the good and the bad equally
responsive and the ultimate victory waiting on the first great influence
from without, which would master her. She had no home; she was alone, a
social mongrel. She could only hurt herself. What her parents had left
her was only a heritage of lawlessness. Yet she hesitated, frightened by
some fear conjured up from an unconscious self, like thin remembered
notes of village bells, across the tumult of worldly clamors. At last,
when she could see before her no other face, when the sound of his voice
was mingled with every sound that came to her ear, when nothing else
diverted her a moment from the insistent drumming ache of the present,
she yielded. She went in the afternoon, just before four, to the court
in Jefferson Market where she knew he was, pushing her way through the
miserable, the venal, the vermin of all nations, clustered and ill
smelling.
He saw her instantly as she came into the aisle.