day in question, before the servants, packed a few necessaries in a bag,
took with me the little money I possessed, and bade farewell for ever to
the rectory. I walked with good spirits to a town some thirty miles from
home; and was set down the next morning in this great city of London. As
I walked from the coach-office to the hotel, I could not help exulting
in the pleasant change that had befallen me; beholding, meanwhile, with
innocent delight, the traffic of the streets, and depicting, in all the
colours of fancy, the reception that awaited me from John. But alas!
when I inquired for Mr. Fanshawe, the porter assured me there was no
such gentleman among the guests. By what channel our secret had leaked
out, or what pressure had been brought to bear on the too facile John, I
could never fathom. Enough that my family had triumphed; that I found
myself alone in London, tender in years, smarting under the most
sensible mortification, and by every sentiment of pride and self-respect
debarred for ever from my father's house.
I rose under the blow, and found lodgings in the neighbourhood of Euston
Road, where, for the first time in my life, I tasted the joys of
independence. Three days afterwards, an advertisement in _The Times_
directed me to the office of a solicitor whom I knew to be in my
father's confidence. There I was given the promise of a very moderate
allowance, and a distinct intimation that I must never look to be
received at home. I could not but resent so cruel a desertion, and I
told the lawyer it was a meeting I desired as little as themselves. He
smiled at my courageous spirit, paid me the first quarter of my income,
and gave me the remainder of my personal effects, which had been sent to
me, under his care, in a couple of rather ponderous boxes. With these I
returned in triumph to my lodgings, more content with my position than I
should have thought possible a week before, and fully determined to make
the best of the future.
All went well for several months; and, indeed, it was my own fault alone
that ended this pleasant and secluded episode of life. I have, I must
confess, the fatal trick of spoiling my inferiors. My landlady, to whom
I had as usual been overkind, impertinently called me in fault for some
particular too small to mention; and I, annoyed that I had allowed her
the freedom upon which she thus presumed, ordered her to leave my
presence. She stood a moment dumb, and then, recalling her
self-possession, "Your bill," said she, "shall be ready this evening,
and to-morrow, madam, you shall leave my house. See," she added, "that
you are able to pay what you owe me; for If I do not receive the
uttermost farthing, no box of yours shall pass my threshold."
I was confounded at her audacity, but, as a whole quarter's income was
due to me, not otherwise affected by the threat. That afternoon, as I
left the solicitor's door, carrying in one hand, and done up in a paper
parcel, the whole amount of my fortune, there befell me one of those
decisive incidents that sometimes shape a life. The lawyer's office was
situated in a street that opened at the upper end upon the Strand and
was closed at the lower, at the time of which I speak, by a row of iron
railings looking on the Thames. Down this street, then, I beheld my
stepmother advancing to meet me, and doubtless bound to the very house
I had just left. She was attended by a maid whose face was new to me;
but her own was too clearly printed on my memory; and the sight of it,
even from a distance, filled me with generous indignation. Flight was
impossible. There was nothing left but to retreat against the railing,
and with my back turned to the street, pretend to be admiring the barges
on the river or the chimneys of transpontine London.
I was still so standing, and had not yet fully mastered the turbulence
of my emotions, when a voice at my elbow addressed me with a trivial
question. It was the maid whom my stepmother, with characteristic
hardness, had left to await her on the street, while she transacted her
business with the family solicitor. The girl did not know who I was; the
opportunity was too golden to be lost; and I was soon hearing the latest
news of my father's rectory and parish. It did not surprise me to find
that she detested her employers; and yet the terms in which she spoke of
them were hard to bear, hard to let pass unchallenged. I heard them,
however, without dissent, for my self-command is wonderful; and we might
have parted as we met, had she not proceeded, in an evil hour, to
criticise the rector's missing daughter, and with the most shocking
perversions to narrate the story of her flight. My nature is so
essentially generous that I can never pause to reason. I flung up my
hand sharply, by way, as well as I remember, of indignant protest; and,
in the act, the packet slipped from my fingers, glanced between the
railings, and fell and sunk in the river. I stood a moment petrified,
and then, struck by the drollery of the incident, gave way to peals of
laughter. I was still laughing when my stepmother reappeared, and the
maid, who doubtless considered me insane, ran off to join her; nor had I
yet recovered my gravity when I presented myself before the lawyer to
solicit a fresh advance. His answer made me serious enough, for it was a
flat refusal; and it was not until I had besought him even with tears,
that he consented to lend me ten pounds from his own pocket. "I am a
poor man," said he, "and you must look for nothing further at my hands."
The landlady met me at the door. "Here, madam," said she, with a curtsey
insolently low, "here is my bill. Would it inconvenience you to settle
it at once?"
"You shall be paid, madam," said I, "in the morning, in the proper
course." And I took the paper with a very high air, but inwardly
quaking.
I had no sooner looked at it than I perceived myself to be lost. I had
been short of money and had allowed my debt to mount; and it had now
reached the sum, which I shall never forget, of twelve pounds thirteen
and fourpence halfpenny. All evening I sat by the fire considering my
situation. I could not pay the bill; my landlady would not suffer me to
remove my boxes; and without either baggage or money, how was I to find
another lodging? For three months, unless I could invent some remedy, I
was condemned to be without a roof and without a penny. It can surprise
no one that I decided on immediate flight; but even here I was
confronted by a difficulty, for I had no sooner packed my boxes than I
found I was not strong enough to move, far less to carry them.
In this strait I did not hesitate a moment, but throwing on a shawl and
bonnet, and covering my face with a thick veil, I betook myself to that
great bazaar of dangerous and smiling chances, the pavement of the city.
It was already late at night, and the weather being wet and windy, there
were few abroad besides policemen. These, on my present mission, I had
wit enough to know for enemies; and wherever I perceived their moving
lanterns, I made haste to turn aside and choose another thoroughfare. A
few miserable women still walked the pavement; here and there were young
fellows returning drunk, or ruffians of the lowest class lurking in the
mouths of alleys; but of any one to whom I might appeal in my distress,
I began almost to despair.
At last, at the corner of a street, I ran into the arms of one who was
evidently a gentleman, and who, in all his appointments, from his furred
greatcoat to the fine cigar which he was smoking, comfortably breathed
of wealth. Much as my face has changed from its original beauty, I still
retain (or so I tell myself) some traces of the youthful lightness of my
figure. Even veiled as I then was, I could perceive the gentleman was
struck by my appearance; and this emboldened me for my adventure.
"Sir," said I, with a quickly beating heart, "sir, are you one in whom a
lady can confide?"
"Why, my dear," said he, removing his cigar, "that depends on
circumstances. If you will raise your veil--"
"Sir," I interrupted, "let there be no mistake. I ask you, as a
gentleman, to serve me, but I offer no reward."
"That is frank," said he; "but hardly tempting. And what, may I inquire,
is the nature of the service?"
But I knew well enough it was not my interest to tell him on so short an
interview. "If you will accompany me," said I, "to a house not far from
here, you can see for yourself."
He looked at me awhile with hesitating eyes; and then, tossing away his
cigar, which was not yet a quarter smoked, "Here goes!" said he, and
with perfect politeness offered me his arm. I was wise enough to take
it; to prolong our walk as far as possible, by more than one excursion
from the shortest line; and to beguile the way with that sort of
conversation which should prove to him indubitably from what station in
society I sprang. By the time we reached the door of my lodging, I felt
sure I had confirmed his interest, and might venture, before I turned
the pass-key, to beseech him to moderate his voice and to tread softly.
He promised to obey me; and I admitted him into the passage, and thence
into my sitting-room, which was fortunately next the door.
"And now," said he, when with trembling fingers I had lighted a candle,
"what is the meaning of all this?"
"I wish you," said I, speaking with great difficulty, "to help me out
with these boxes--and I wish nobody to know."
He took up the candle. "And I wish to see your face," said he.
I turned back my veil without a word, and looked at him with every
appearance of resolve that I could summon up. For some time he gazed
into my face, still holding up the candle. "Well," said he at last, "and
where do you wish them taken?"
I knew that I had gained my point; and it was with a tremor in my voice
that I replied. "I had thought we might carry them between us to the
corner of Euston Road," said I, "where, even at this late hour, we may
still find a cab."
"Very good," was his reply; and he immediately hoisted the heavier of my
trunks upon his shoulder, and taking one handle of the second, signed to
me to help him at the other end. In this order we made good our retreat
from the house, and without the least adventure, drew pretty near to the
corner of Euston Road. Before a house, where there was a light still
burning, my companion paused. "Let us here," said he, "set down our
boxes, while we go forward to the end of the street in quest of a cab.
By doing so, we can still keep an eye upon their safety; and we avoid
the very extraordinary figure we should otherwise present--a young man,
a young lady, and a mass of baggage, standing castaway at midnight on
the streets of London." So it was done, and the event proved him to be
wise; for long before there was any word of a cab, a policeman appeared
upon the scene, turned upon us the full glare of his lantern, and hung
suspiciously behind us in a doorway.
"There seem to be no cabs about, policeman," said my champion, with
affected cheerfulness. But the constable's answer was ungracious; and as
for the offer of a cigar, with which this rebuff was most unwisely
followed up, he refused it point-blank, and without the least civility.
The young gentleman looked at me with a warning grimace, and there we
continued to stand, on the edge of the pavement, in the beating rain,
and with the policeman still silently watching our movements from the
doorway.
At last, and after a delay that seemed interminable, a four-wheeler
appeared lumbering along in the mud, and was instantly hailed by my
companion. "Just pull up here, will you?" he cried. "We have some
baggage up the street."
And now came the hitch of our adventure; for when the policeman, still
closely following us, beheld my two boxes lying in the rain, he arose
from mere suspicion to a kind of certitude of something evil. The light
in the house had been extinguished; the whole frontage of the street was
dark; there was nothing to explain the presence of these unguarded
trunks; and no two innocent people were ever, I believe, detected in
such questionable circumstances.
"Where have these things come from?" asked the policeman, flashing his
light full into my champion's face.
"Why, from that house of course," replied the young gentleman, hastily
shouldering a trunk.
The policeman whistled and turned to look at the dark windows; he then
took a step towards the door, as though to knock, a course which had
infallibly proved our ruin; but seeing us already hurrying down the
street under our double burthen, thought better or worse of it, and
followed in our wake.
"For God's sake," whispered my companion, "tell me where to drive to."
"Anywhere," I replied, with anguish. "I have no idea. Anywhere you
like."
Thus it fell that, when the boxes had been stowed and I had already
entered the cab, my deliverer called out in clear tones the address of
the house in which we are now seated. The policeman, I could see, was
staggered. This neighbourhood, so retired, so aristocratic, was far from
what he had expected. For all that, he took the number of the cab, and
spoke for a few seconds and with a decided manner, in the cabman's ear.
"What can he have said?" I gasped, as soon as the cab had rolled away.
"I can very well imagine," replied my champion; "and I can assure you
that you are now condemned to go where I have said; for, should we
attempt to change our destination by the way, the jarvey will drive us
straight to a police-office. Let me compliment you on your nerves," he
added. "I have had, I believe, the most horrible fright of my
existence."
But my nerves, which he so much misjudged, were in so strange a disarray
that speech was now become impossible; and we made the drive
thenceforward in unbroken silence. When we arrived before the door of
our destination, the young gentleman alighted, opened it with a pass-key
like one who was at home, bade the driver carry the trunks into the
hall, and dismissed him with a handsome fee. He then led me into this
dining-room, looking nearly as you behold it, but with certain marks of
bachelor occupancy, and hastened to pour out a glass of wine, which he
insisted on my drinking. As soon as I could find my voice, "In God's
name," I cried, "where am I?"
He told me I was in his house, where I was very welcome, and had no more
urgent business than to rest myself and recover my spirits. As he spoke
he offered me another glass of wine, of which, indeed, I stood in great
want, for I was faint, and inclined to be hysterical. Then he sat down
beside the fire, lit another cigar, and for some time observed me
curiously in silence.
"And now," said he, "that you have somewhat restored yourself, will you
be kind enough to tell me in what sort of crime I have become a partner?
Are you murderer, smuggler, thief, or only the harmless and domestic
moonlight flitter?"
I had been already shocked by his lighting a cigar without permission,
for I had not forgotten the one he threw away on our first meeting; and
now, at these explicit insults, I resolved at once to reconquer his
esteem. The judgment of the world I have consistently despised, but I
had already begun to set a certain value on the good opinion of my
entertainer. Beginning with a note of pathos, but soon brightening into
my habitual vivacity and humour, I rapidly narrated the circumstances of
my birth, my flight, and subsequent misfortunes. He heard me to an end
in silence, gravely smoking. "Miss Fanshawe," said he, when I had done,
"you are a very comical and most enchanting creature; and I can see
nothing for it but that I should return to-morrow morning and satisfy
your landlady's demands."
"You strangely misinterpret my confidence," was my reply; "and if you
had at all appreciated my character, you would understand that I can
take no money at your hands."
"Your landlady will doubtless not be so particular," he returned; "nor
do I at all despair of persuading even your unconquerable self. I desire
you to examine me with critical indulgence. My name is Henry Luxmore,
Lord Southwark's second son. I possess nine thousand a year, the house
in which we are now sitting and seven others in the best neighbourhoods
in town. I do not believe I am repulsive to the eye, and as for my
character, you have seen me under trial. I think you simply the most
original of created things; I need not tell you what you know very well,
that you are ravishingly pretty; and I have nothing more to add, except
that foolish as it may appear, I am already head over heels in love with
you."
"Sir," said I, "I am prepared to be misjudged; but while I continue to
accept your hospitality, that fact alone should be enough to protect me
from insult."
"Pardon me," said he: "I offer you marriage." And leaning back in his
chair he replaced his cigar between his lips.
I own I was confounded by an offer, not only so unprepared, but couched
in terms so singular. But he knew very well how to obtain his purposes,
for he was not only handsome in person, but his very coolness had a
charm; and to make a long story short, a fortnight later I became the
wife of the Honourable Henry Luxmore.
For nearly twenty years I now led a life of almost perfect quiet. My
Henry had his weaknesses; I was twice driven to flee from his roof, but
not for long; for though he was easily over-excited, his nature was
placable below the surface, and, with all his faults, I loved him
tenderly. At last he was taken from me; and such is the power of
self-deception, and so strange are the whims of the dying, he actually
assured me, with his latest breath, that he forgave the violence of my
temper!
There was but one pledge of the marriage, my daughter Clara. She had,
indeed, inherited a shadow of her father's failing; but in all things
else, unless my partial eyes deceived me, she derived her qualities from
me, and might be called my moral image. On my side, whatever else I may
have done amiss, as a mother I was above reproach. Here, then, was
surely every promise for the future; here, at last, was a relation in
which I might hope to taste repose. But it was not to be. You will
hardly credit me when I inform you that she ran away from home; yet such
was the case. Some whim about oppressed nationalities--Ireland, Poland,
and the like--has turned her brain; and if you should anywhere encounter
a young lady (I must say of remarkable attractions) answering to the
name of Luxmore, Lake, or Fonblanque (for I am told she uses these
indifferently, as well as many others), tell her, from me, that I
forgive her cruelty, and though I will never more behold her face, I am
at any time prepared to make her a liberal allowance.
On the death of Mr. Luxmore I sought oblivion in the details of
business. I believe I have mentioned that seven mansions, besides this,
formed part of Mr. Luxmore's property: I have found them seven white
elephants. The greed of tenants, the dishonesty of solicitors, and the
incapacity that sits upon the bench, have combined together to make
these houses the burthen of my life. I had no sooner, indeed, begun to
look into these matters for myself, than I discovered so many injustices
and met with so much studied incivility, that I was plunged into a long
series of lawsuits, some of which are pending to this day. You must have
heard my name already; I am the Mrs. Luxmore of the Law Reports: a
strange destiny, indeed, for one born with an almost cowardly desire for
peace! But I am of the stamp of those who, when they have once begun a
task, will rather die than leave their duty unfulfilled. I have met with
every obstacle: insolence and ingratitude from my own lawyers; in my
adversaries, that fault of obstinacy which is to me perhaps the most
distasteful in the calendar; from the bench, civility indeed--always, I
must allow, civility--but never a spark of independence, never that
knowledge of the law and love of justice which we have a right to look
for in a judge, the most august of human officers. And still, against
all these odds, I have undissuadably persevered.
It was after the loss of one of my innumerable cases (a subject on which
I will not dwell) that it occurred to me to make a melancholy pilgrimage
to my various houses. Four were at that time tenantless and closed, like
pillars of salt, commemorating the corruption of the age and the decline
of private virtue. Three were occupied by persons who had wearied me by
every conceivable unjust demand and legal subterfuge--persons whom, at
that very hour, I was moving heaven and earth to turn into the streets.
This was perhaps the sadder spectacle of the two; and my heart grew hot
within me to behold them occupying, in my very teeth, and with an
insolent ostentation, these handsome structures which were as much mine
as the flesh upon my body.
One more house remained for me to visit, that in which we now are. I had
let it (for at that period I lodged in a hotel, the life that I have
always preferred) to a Colonel Geraldine, a gentleman attached to Prince
Florizel of Bohemia, whom you must certainly have heard of; and I had
supposed, from the character and position of my tenant, that here, at
least, I was safe against annoyance. What was my surprise to find this
house also shuttered and apparently deserted! I will not deny that I was
offended; I conceived that a house, like a yacht, was better to be kept
in commission; and I promised myself to bring the matter before my
solicitor the following morning. Meanwhile the sight recalled my fancy
naturally to the past; and, yielding to the tender influence of
sentiment, I sat down opposite the door upon the garden parapet. It was
August and a sultry afternoon, but that spot is sheltered, as you may
observe by daylight, under the branches of a spreading chestnut; the
square, too, was deserted; there was a sound of distant music in the
air; and all combined to plunge me into that most agreeable of states,
which is neither happiness nor sorrow, but shares the poignancy of both.
From this I was recalled by the arrival of a large van, very handsomely
appointed, drawn by valuable horses, mounted by several men of an
appearance more than decent, and bearing on its panels, instead of a
trader's name, a coat of arms too modest to be deciphered from where I
sat. It drew up before my house, the door of which was immediately
opened by one of the men. His companions--I counted seven of them in
all--proceeded, with disciplined activity, to take from the van and
carry into the house a variety of hampers, bottle-baskets, and boxes,
such as are designed for plate and napery. The windows of the
dining-room were thrown widely open, as though to air it; and I saw some
of those within laying the table for a meal. Plainly, I concluded, my
tenant was about to return; and while still determined to submit to no
aggression on my rights, I was gratified by the number and discipline of
his attendants, and the quiet profusion that appeared to reign in his
establishment. I was still so thinking when, to my extreme surprise, the
windows and shutters of the dining-room were once more closed; the men
began to reappear from the interior and resume their stations on the
van; the last closed the door behind his exit; the van drove away; and
the house was once more left to itself, looking blindly on the square
with shuttered windows, as though the whole affair had been a vision.
It was no vision, however; for, as I rose to my feet and thus brought my
eyes a little nearer to the level of the fanlight over the door, I saw
that, though the day had still some hours to run, the hall lamps had
been lighted and left burning. Plainly, then, guests were expected, and
were not expected before night. For whom, I asked myself with
indignation, were such secret preparations likely to be made? Although
no prude, I am a woman of decided views upon morality; if my house, to
which my husband had brought me, was to serve in the character of a
_petite maison_, I saw myself forced, however unwillingly, into a new
course of litigation; and, determined to return and know the worst, I
hastened to my hotel for dinner.
I was at my post by ten. The night was clear and quiet; the moon rode
very high and put the lamps to shame; and the shadow below the chestnut
was black as ink. Here, then, I ensconced myself on the low parapet,
with my back against the railings, face to face with the moonlit front
of my old home, and ruminating gently on the past. Time fled; eleven
struck on all the city clocks; and presently after I was aware of the
approach of a gentleman of stately and agreeable demeanour. He was
smoking as he walked; his light paletot, which was open, did not conceal
his evening clothes; and he bore himself with a serious grace that
immediately awakened my attention. Before the door of this house he took
a pass-key from his pocket, quietly admitted himself, and disappeared
into the lamp-lit hall.