same individual who sufficed for my entertainment during a little
journey from home to G----, the other day. As papa, in his stately way,
you know, committed me to the care of the conductor, saying that 'Miss
----'s friends would receive her at G----,' I observed (luckily, my
fastidious father _did not_) the broad stare with which a great bearded
creature, at a little distance from us, turned round in his seat and
surveyed us. When I withdrew from the window, from which I had looked to
receive--to say good-bye, again, to papa"--
I would have given--I think I would have given--my Lundy-Lane sword, to
have occasioned the momentary quiver in that musical voice, and the
love-light in that half-averted eye! After a scarce perceptible pause,
the lovely narrator proceeded:
"There was that huge moon-struck face--["_sun-struck_, perhaps?" I
queried, receiving a slight fan-pass for my pains]--such a contrast to
papa's! staring straight at me, still. I busied myself with a book
behind my veil, and presently knew, without looking, that the
_gentleman_ had gradually returned to his former position. Now came my
turn to scrutinize, though the 'game was scarcely worth the powder.'"
"Spoken like the true daughter of a gentleman-sportsman!" I exclaimed,
and this time was rewarded with an irradiating smile.
"Well, such a rolling about of that alderman-like figure, such a
buttoning and unbuttoning! But this was all nothing to his steam-engine
industry in the use of the 'weed.' I turned sick as I observed part of
the shawl of a lady sitting before the creature hanging over near him.
After a while, he sallied forth, at one of the stopping-places, and soon
returned with--(expressive hue!)--_an immense green apple_! It seemed
for a time likely to prove the apple of discord, judging from the hungry
glances cast at it by a long, lank, thinly-clad old man across the car.
But now came the 'tug of war.' It scarce required my woman's wit to
divine the motive that had prompted the tasteful selection of the
alderman's lunch. A glove was pompously drawn off, and--behold! a great
_pate_ of a ring on the smallest, I cannot truthfully say
_little_-finger, set with a huge red cornelian, that looked for all the
world like a cranberry-jam in a setting of puff-paste! As the big apple
slowly diminished under the greedy eyes of the venerable spectator of
this rich Tantalus-feast, my heart melted with pity."
A well-affected look of surprise on the part of her auditor, here
claimed the attention of the fair speaker.
"Don't alarm yourself, Colonel! 'Pity 'tis, 'tis true,' my compassion
was excited _only_ towards the poor finger that, stout as it looked,
must soon be worn to the bone, if often compelled to do duty at the
speed with which it was worked that day. Imagine the poor thing stuck
straight out with that heavy stone _pate_ upon it, while the proprietor
plied his hand from his mouth to the car-window _behind_ him, with the
industrious regularity of a steam ferry-boat, professedly laden with
little bits of apple-skin, but really intended--oh, most flattering
tribute to my discriminating powers!--_to captivate my fancy, through my
eye_!"
When my amusement had somewhat subsided, I said to my fair friend:
"I suppose the doughty alderman finished his repast, like Jack the
Giant-killer, by eating up the famishing old man who had the insolence
to watch him while breakfasting?"
"I am happy to be able to say," replied she, "that the long, lean, lanky
representative of our fallen race, not only escaped being thoroughly
masticated and thrown by little handfuls out of the car-window, but when
Jack the Giant-killer, and almost every one else had gone out of the
car, was presented by a lady with two nice large sandwiches that she
happened not to need."
"And that benevolent lady was"----
A movement among the dancers here crowded several acquaintances into
such close contact with us that we could not avoid overhearing their
conversation.
"Do you know that large man, wearing so much beard, Mr. Jerome?"
"Know him? certainly I do, Miss Blakeman. That's C----, Col. C----, the
rich New York grocer. He is one of the city aldermen--they talk of him
for the legislature--quite a character, I assure you."
"He evidently thinks so himself," rejoined one of the group; "just
notice him in that polka! I heard him telling a lady, a moment ago, that
he had not missed a single set, and wouldn't for anything."
"They say," pursued a lady, "that he is paying his addresses to that
pretty little Miss S----, who was so much admired here, last winter; she
is an orphan, I think, and quite an heiress."
A perceptible shiver ran through the clinging arm that still graced my
own, and as I moved away with my sweet charge, she murmured, in the
musical tongue of the Beautiful Land, as she ever calls Italy, "the
gentle dove for the vulture's mate!"
* * * * *
Will that do for this time, boys? Or do you require that, in imitation
of the little Grecian Hunch-back, a _moral_ shall be appended to each of
his narratives, by your
UNCLE HAL.
P. S.--In accordance with my promise, there follow the admirable
directions and remarks of the elegant and obliging friend referred to
in my previous letter. He will, I trust, permit me thus to tender him,
renewedly, my very grateful acknowledgment of his flattering politeness,
and to express my sense of the important addition made by his kindness
to my unpretending epistles.
* * * * *
"MY DEAR COL. LUNETTES:
"I regard myself as highly complimented that so distinguished a
representative of the _ancien regime_, as yourself, one so entirely
_comme il faut_, as all admit, in matters of taste, should esteem my
opinion, even in regard to minor points of etiquette, as worth his
attention.
"I need scarcely add, dear sir, an assurance of my conviction of the
honor you do me by affording me a place in your remembrance, and that I
make no doubt your profound knowledge of the world, united with your
unusual opportunities for extensive observation--long _un habitue de
belle societe_, in various countries, as you have been--will afford a
rich treat, as well as much instruction, to those who may be favored
with the perusal of your proposed _Letters_. That he may have the honor
to be thus fortunate, is the hope of, dear sir,
"Your very respectful
"And obedient servant,
"---- ----
"BELGRAVIA, _Tuesday Morn.,
"May 6th, '56_."
GENTLEMEN'S DRESS.--The subject now to be treated of, may be divided
into several classes:--_morning, promenade_ or _visiting_, and _evening_
or _ball_ dress; which again may be subdivided into others, such as
_riding-dress_, dress suitable for _bachelors' dinner-parties_, or
_opera_ (when unaccompanied by ladies). Besides these again, we have
dresses suitable for _fishing_, _shooting_, and _yachting_ purposes,
which, however, scarcely call for, or admit of, the display of much
taste, inasmuch as the occupations for which such costumes are designed
partake rather of the nature of healthy exercise than of that quiet and
gentlemanly repose necessary to give full effect to the graces of the
more elaborate "_toilette_." Military, Naval, and Court dresses may also
be considered out of the scope of the remarks in this letter, because
their being made scrupulously in accordance with rigid _Regulation
Rules_, leaves no room for taste, but substitutes the _dicta_ of
official routine.
To commence our exemplifications with a _Wedding-Suit_, which, from the
wearer's approximate connection with the ladies deserves the "_pas_"--it
may be remarked that the time of day in which the ceremony is solemnized
should determine the character of the costume, that is to say, whether
it should be morning or evening. In either case, however, general usage
allows (not to say demands), a more marked style than is generally worn
in morning or evening usual wear. Should the wedding take place in the
_evening_, a very elegant costume is, a dark claret dress-coat, white
ribbed-silk, or _moire antique_, waistcoat, white silk neckcloth, black
trowsers, silk stockings, and shoes. The lining of the sleeves, also, of
white silk, coming to the extreme edge of the cuff, imparts a singularly
light and elegant appearance to the hand and glove. An equally elegant
_Morning Wedding-Dress_ might consist of a rich, deep-brown frock-coat;
waistcoat of black cashmere, with a small violet-colored palm-leaf
figure; neck-tie of silk, combining colors of black and cherry, or brown
and deep blue; trowsers of delicate drab, or stone-color; gloves
primrose, or slate-colored kid.
The usual _Evening-Dress_ is so imperiously insisted on, that it might
be almost classed in the category of _uniforms_, being almost invariably
composed of _black_ coat, vest, and trowsers. Two items, however, in
this costume, admit of disquisition amongst "men who dress," viz., the
_vest_ and the _tie_--both of which may be either white or black,
without any infraction of the laws of _bienseance_. This, therefore,
must be settled by the taste of the wearer, who should remember that
black, having the effect of apparently diminishing a man's size, and
white that of increasing it, it would, therefore, be judicious for a
person of unusual size to tone down his extra bulk by favoring black in
both these garments, while he who is below the average standard could,
if not actually increase his height or size, at least create the
impression of more generous proportions. I, however, must confess a
decided partiality for a _white neck-tie_, at least; because, although
subject to the disadvantage of being _de rigueur_ amongst waiters and
other members of the Yellow Plush Family, it is, nevertheless, always
considered unexceptionable, at any season, or hour, in any rank,
profession, or capacity.
A _Morning Call_ should be made in a _frock-coat_, or at least one in
which this style predominates. It must, however, be constantly borne in
mind that it is quite impossible to furnish even general rules on any
one of these points that shall prove immutable, since not only each
successive year, but every varying season produces decided changes in
the standard established by Taste and Fashion.
_Bachelors' Dinner-parties_ are pleasant, social _reunions_, at which
gentlemen enjoy themselves with more _abandon_ than would, perhaps, be
considered consistent with the quiet and more retired respect due to the
presence of the "_beau sexe_;" and, as a natural consequence, admit of a
more _neglige_ style of costume. Still, however, a certain regard must
be had to the requirements of good society; and as many of these
parties, when they break up, adjourn to the opera, or theatre, where
they are pretty sure to meet ladies of their acquaintance, a costume
half-way between morning and evening is, by tacit agreement, prescribed;
for instance:--a coat of some dark color (generally termed
"_medley-colored_"), cut rounded over the hips; black cap; inner vest,
buttoning rather high in the breast; dark-grey trowsers, and black silk
neckerchief, or ribbed silk scarf.
Instead of giving sketches of particular costumes, it would, perhaps, be
better and tend more to develop the importance of dress, if a few
remarks were made on the general rules which should guide one in
selections for his own wear.
The _four staple colors for men's wear, are black, blue, brown, and
olive_. Other colors, such as drab, grey, mixed, etc., being so far as
the principal garments go, what are termed "fancy colors," should be
very cautiously used.
As was remarked above, _black has the effect of diminishing size_, but
it has another more important effect, which is to test, in the severest
way, the wearer's claims to a _distinguished appearance_. It is a very
high compliment to any man to tell him that black becomes him, and it is
probably owing to this property that black is chosen, _par excellence_,
for _evening_ or _ball dress_. Men, therefore, of average or ordinary
pretensions to stylish contour, should bear this in mind, and, when such
color is not indispensable, should be careful how far they depend on
their own intrinsic dignity.
_Blue_, of almost any shade, becomes a light complexion, besides being
an admirable set-off to black velvet, which can, in almost all cases, be
judiciously used in the collar, in which case, a _lighter shade of
blue_ (also becoming such a complexion) can be worn without _killing_
(as it is technically termed), the darker shade of the coat--the velvet
harmonizing both.
_Brown_ being what is termed a _warm_ color, is eminently adapted for
fall and winter wear--_olive_ and _dark green_, for summer.
When Beau Brummel was asked what constituted a well-dressed man, he
replied, "_Good linen--plenty of it, and country washing_." This,
perhaps, is rather _too_ primitive. The almost equally short opinion of
the French critic is decidedly more comprehensive--"_un homme bien
coiffe, et bien chausse, peut se presenter partout_." Under any
circumstances, however, it may be laid down as immutable, that the
_extremities_ are most important parts, when considered as objects for
dress, and that _a well appointed hat, faultlessly-fitting gloves, and
immaculate boots_, are three essentials to a well-dressed man, without
which the otherwise best constituted dress will appear unfinished.
Besides the necessity for the greatest care required in the selection of
colors, with regard to their harmonizing with each other, and their
general adaptation to the complexion or contour of the wearer, there is
another matter of the first importance, and this is, the _cut_. Of
course, everything should be sacrificed to _perfect ease_, as any
garment which pinches, or incommodes the wearer, will strongly militate
against the easy deportment of even the most graceful, and tend to give
a contracted and constrained appearance. _Every garment, therefore,
should leave the wearer perfectly free and uncontrolled in every
motion_; and, having set out with this proviso, the _artiste_ may
proceed to invest his work with all the minute and seemingly immaterial
graces and touches, which, although scarcely to be remarked, still
impart _an air_ or _character_, which is unmistakable, and is expressed
in the French word _chique_.
_Wadding_, or _stuffing_, should be avoided as much as possible. A
little may be judiciously used to round off the more salient points of
an angular figure, but when it is used for the purpose of creating an
egregiously false impression of superior form, it is simply _snobbish_.
Some one has called hypocrisy "the homage which vice pays to virtue."
_Wadding is the homage which snobbishness pays to symmetry!_
A well-dressed man will never be the first to set a new fashion; he will
allow others to hazard the innovation, and decline the questionable
honor of being the first to advertise a _novelty_. Two lines of Pope (I
believe), admirably illustrate the middle course:--
_"Be not the first by whom the new is tried,
Nor yet the last by whom 'tis set aside."_
Besides which he will find it far easier to become a _critic_ than an
_author_; and as there is sure to be a vast number of men who "greatly
daring" dress, he will merely be at the trouble of discriminating which
is worthy of selection or rejection; he will thus verify the old saw,
that "fools make feasts and wise men eat thereof," and avoid, by means
of his own knowledge of _the becoming_, the solecisms which are pretty
certain to occur in a number of experiments.
TRINCULO.
LETTER III.
MANNER.
MY DEAR NEPHEWS:
In the order of sequence adopted at the commencement of our
correspondence, the subject of _manner_ comes next in succession.
It was the shrewd aphorism of one of the most profound observers of
human nature that "_Manner is something to all, and everything to
some_."
As indicative of character, which it undoubtedly is, to a certain
extent, it is well worthy the attention of all youthful aspirants to the
honors of the world. And though, like every other attribute, it should
bear indubitable murks of individuality, care and attention, before
habit has rendered change and improvement difficult, will enable every
man to acquire that propriety and polish, in this respect, the
advantages of which through life can scarcely be overrated.
It has been somewhat paradoxically said, that the fashionable manner of
the present day is _no manner at all_! which means simply--that the
manners of the best bred people are those that are least obtruded upon
the notice of others,--those most _quiet, natural, and unassuming_.
There is, however, a possibility of carrying this modish manner to such
an extreme as to make it the very height of affectation. If Talleyrand's
favorite axiom admits of some qualification, and _language_ is not
_always_ used to "conceal our ideas," then should _manner_, which is the
natural adjunct that lends additional expressiveness to words, be in a
degree modified by circumstances--be _individualized_.
Every approach to a rude, noisy, boisterous, manner, is reprehensible,
for the obvious reason that it interferes with the comfort, and,
consequently, with the rights of others; but this is at a wide remove
from the ultra-modishness that requires the total suppression of every
manifestation of natural emotion, and apparently, aims to convert beings
influenced by the motives, feelings, and principles that constitute
humanity, into mere moving automata!
In this, as in too many similar matters, Americans are prone to excess.
Because _scenes_ are considered bad _ton_, in good society abroad, and
because the warm-hearted hospitality of olden time sometimes took shape
a little more impressingly and noisily than kindness required, some of
our fashionable imitators of European models move through the world like
resuscitated ghosts, and violate every law of good feeling in an
endeavor to sustain at home a character for modish _nonchalance_! Now,
take it as a rule through life, my young friends, that _all servile
imitation degenerates into caricature_, and let your adoption and
illustration of every part of your system of life be modified by
circumstances, and regulated by good sense and manly independence.
I need scarcely tell you that true politeness is not so much a thing of
forms and ceremonies, as of right feelings and nicety of perception. The
Golden Rule habitually illustrated in word and action, would produce the
most unexceptionable good breeding--politeness so cosmopolitan that it
would be a passport to "good society" everywhere.
One of the most polished and celebrated of American authors has given us
as fine and laconic a definition of politeness as I remember to have met
with--"Self-respect, and a delicate regard for the rights and feelings
of others."
The good breeding of a true gentleman is not an appendage put off and on
at the dictate of caprice, or interest, it is essentially _a part of
himself_--a constituent of his being, as much as his sense of honesty or
honor, and its requirements are no more forgotten or violated than those
of any other essential attribute of manhood. You will all remember Sir
Philip Sidney's immortal action in presenting the cup of water to the
dying soldier. This was a spontaneous result of the habitual
self-possession and self-restraint that form the basis of all true good
breeding. It is one of the most perfect exhibitions on record of the
_moral sublime_; but it was, also, only a legitimate result of the
_instinctive politeness of a Christian gentleman_!
Manner, then, may be regarded as the expression of inherent qualities,
and though it must, necessarily, and should properly, to some extent,
at least, vary with the variations of character, it may readily be
rendered a more correct and effective exponent of existing
characteristics of mind and heart, by judicious and attentive training.
While true good breeding must, from its very nature be, as I have said,
in all persons and under every modification of circumstance
substantially the same, the proper mode of exemplifying it, must, with
equal propriety, be modified by the exercise of practical good sense and
discrimination. Thus, the laws of convention,--which, as I have before
remarked, is but another name for the rules of politeness, established
and adhered to by well-bred people, for mutual convenience--though in
some respects as immutable as those of the Medes and Persians, will
always be adapted, by persons of good sense, to the mutations of
circumstance and the inviolable requisitions of that "higher law," whose
vital principle is "_kindness kindly expressed_!" Having now established
general principles, let us turn to the consideration of practical
details.
There is, perhaps, no better test of good manners afforded by the
intercourse of ordinary life, than that of conduct towards superiors in
age or station, ("Young America" seems loth to admit that he has any
superiors, but we will venture to assume these premises). The
general-in-chief of the Revolutionary Army of America is well known to
have always observed the most punctilious respect towards his _mother_,
in his personal intercourse with her, as well as in every other
relation of life. My word for it, he never spoke of her as the "old
woman;" nor could one of the youthful members of his military family
have alluded, in his hearing, to a parent as the "governor," or the "old
governor," without exciting the disapproving surprise of Washington and
his co-patriots. And yet our young republic has known no more high-bred
and polished men than those of that day,--the stately and elegant
Hancock, even when broken by time and disease, a graceful and
punctilious observer of all the ceremonious courtesies of life; the
courtly Carroll, whose benignant urbanity was the very impersonation of
a long line of old English gentlemen; and the imposing stateliness of
the commander-in-chief, ever observant of the most minute details of
propriety, whether in the familiar intercourse of daily life, or while
conducting the most momentous affairs of his country. But to return from
this unpremeditated digression. Never let youthful levity, or the
example of others, betray you into forgetfulness of the claims of your
parents or elders, to a certain deference. Depend upon it, the
preservation of a just self-respect demands this.
Your historical studies will have furnished you with evidence of the
respect habitually rendered to superiors by those nations of antiquity
most celebrated for advancement in civilization; and you will not have
failed, also, to remark that nothing more surely heralded the decay of
ancient empires than degeneracy in this regard.
Next to the reverence ever due to parents, may be ranked that which
should be rendered to virtuous age, irrespective of station or other
outward attributes. I should deem this instinctive with all right-minded
young persons, did I not so often, in the street, at church, in social
life, in public places generally, observe the manner in which elderly
persons are, apparently, wholly overlooked.