GETA. Just so.
PHOR. And that the old man is in a rage?
GETA. Extremely so.
PHOR. The whole business, Phormio, rests on yourself alone; you
yourself have hashed it up;[46] it must all be swallowed by yourself,
{so} set about it.
GETA. I entreat you----
PHOR. (_to himself._) If he inquires.
GETA. In you is {all} our hope.
PHOR. (_to himself._) Look at this, now:-- What if he sends her back?
GETA. It was you that urged us.
PHOR. (_to himself._) I think that will do.
GETA. Do help us.
PHOR. (_with alacrity._) Let the old gentleman come; all my plans are
now ready prepared in my mind.
GETA. What will you do?
PHOR. What would you have me? But that Phanium may continue {with
him}, and that I may clear Antipho from this charge, and turn upon
myself[47] all the wrath of the old gentleman?
GETA. O brave and kind man! But, Phormio, I often dread lest this
courage may end in the stocks at last.[48]
PHOR. Oh, by no means; I’ve made trial, and have already pondered on
the paths for my feet. How many men before to-day do you suppose I
have beaten, even to death, strangers as well as citizens: the better
I understand it, the oftener I try it. Just tell me, look you, did you
ever hear of an action of damages being brought against me?
GETA. How {is} that?
PHOR. Because the net is never spread for the hawk or the kite, that
do us the mischief; it is spread for those that do us none: because in
the last there is profit, while with the others it is labor lost. For
persons, out of whom any thing can be got, there’s risk from others;
they know that I’ve got nothing. You will say: “They will take
you,[49] when sentenced, into their house;” they have no wish to
maintain a devouring fellow; and, in my opinion, they are wise, if for
an injury they are unwilling to return the highest benefits.
GETA. It’s impossible that sufficient thanks can be returned you by
him for your kindness.
PHOR. Why no; no person can return thanks sufficient to his patron[50]
for his kindness. For you to take your place {at table} at free
cost,[51] anointed and just washed at the bath, with your mind at
ease, whereas he is devoured with the care and expense: while every
thing is being done to give you delight, he is being vexed at heart;
you are laughing away, first to drink,[52] take the higher place;
a banquet full of doubts[53] is placed before you--
GETA. What is the meaning of that expression?
PHOR. When you are in doubt which in especial to partake of. When you
enter upon a consideration how delicious these things are, and how
costly they are, the person who provides them, must you not account
him a very God-- neither more nor less?
GETA. The old man is coming; take care what you are about; the first
onset is the fiercest; if you stand that, then, afterward, you may
play just as you please. (_They retire to a distance._)
SCENE II.
_Enter, at a distance, DEMIPHO, HEGIO, CRATINUS, and CRITO,
following him._
DEM. Well now-- did you ever hear of an injury being done to any
person in a more affronting manner than this has to me? Assist me,
I do beg of you.
GETA (_apart._) He’s in a passion.
PHOR. (_apart._) Do you mind your cue; I’ll rouse him just now.
(_Stepping forward and crying aloud._) Oh immortal Gods! does Demipho
deny that Phanium here is related to him?
GETA. He does deny it.
DEM. (_to his friends._) I believe it is the very man I was speaking
about. Follow me. (_They all come forward._)
PHOR. (_to GETA._) And that he knows who her father was?
GETA. He does deny it.
PHOR. And that he knows who Stilpho was?
GETA. He does deny it.
PHOR. Because the poor thing was left destitute, her father is
disowned; she herself is slighted: see what avarice does.
GETA (_in a loud voice._) If you are going to accuse my master of
avarice, you shall hear what you won’t like.
DEM. Oh, the impudence {of the fellow}! Does he come on purpose to
accuse me?
PHOR. For really, I have no reason why I should be offended at the
young man, if he did not know him; since that person, when growing
aged {and} poor, and supporting himself by his labor, generally
confined himself to the country; there he had a piece of land from my
father to cultivate; full oft, in the mean time, did the old man tell
me that this kinsman of his neglected him: but what a man? The very
best I {ever} saw in {all} my life.
GETA (_in a loud voice._) Look to yourself as well as to him, how you
speak.
PHOR. (_with affected indignation._) Away, to utter perdition, {with
you}. For if I had not formed such an opinion of him, I should never
have incurred such enmity with your family on her account, whom he now
slights in such an ungenerous manner.
GETA (_aloud._) What, do you persist in speaking abusively of my
master in his absence, you most abominable fellow?
PHOR. Why, it’s {just} what he deserves.
GETA (_aloud._) Say you so, you jail-bird?
DEM. (_calling aloud._) Geta!
GETA (_aloud._) A plunderer of people’s property-- a perverter of the
laws!
DEM. (_calling aloud._) Geta!
PHOR. (_apart, in a low voice._) Answer him.
GETA. Who is it? (_Looking round._) Oh!----
DEM. Hold your peace.
GETA. He has never left off uttering abuse against you behind your
back, unworthy of you, and {just} befitting himself.
DEM. Well now, have done. (_Addressing PHORMIO._) Young man, in the
first place, with your good leave, I ask you this, if you may possibly
be pleased to give me an answer: explain to me who this friend of
yours was, that you speak of, and how he said that he was related to
me.
PHOR. (_sneeringly._) You are fishing it out, just as if you didn’t
know.
DEM. I, know?
PHOR. Yes.
DEM. I say I do not; you, who affirm it, recall it to my recollection.
PHOR. Come now, didn’t you know your own cousin-german?
DEM. You torture me to death; tell me his name.
PHOR. His name?
DEM. Of course. (_PHORMIO hesitates._) Why are you silent now?
PHOR. (_aside._) Heavens, I’m undone; I’ve forgot the name.
DEM. Well, what do you say?
PHOR. (_aside, to GETA._) Geta, if you recollect the {name} I told you
a short time since, prompt me. (_Aloud, to DEMIPHO._) Well then,
I sha’n’t tell you; as if you didn’t know, you come to pump me.
DEM. I, come to pump you, indeed?
GETA. (_whispering to PHORMIO._) Stilpho.
PHOR. But, after all, what matters that to me? It is Stilpho.
DEM. Whom did you say?
PHOR. Stilpho, I tell you; you knew him.
DEM. I neither know him, nor had I ever any relation of that name.
PHOR. Say you so? Are you not ashamed of this? But if he had left you
ten talents----
DEM. May the Gods confound you!
PHOR. You’d have been the first, from memory, to trace your line of
kindred, even as far back as from grandfather and great-grandfather.
DEM. Very likely what you say. In that case, when I had undertaken it,
I should have shown how she was related to me; do you do the same:
tell me, how is she related to me?
GETA. Well done, my {master}, that’s right! (_Threateningly to
PHORMIO._) Hark you, take you care.
PHOR. I’ve already made the matter quite plain where I ought, before
the judges; besides, if it was untrue, why didn’t your son disprove
it?
DEM. Do you talk about my son to me? Of whose folly there is no
speaking in the language it deserves.
PHOR. Then do you, who are so wise, go to the magistrates, that for
you they may give a second decision in the same cause, since you reign
alone[54] {here}, and are the only man allowed to get a second trial
in the same cause.
DEM. Although wrong has been done me, still, however, rather than
engage in litigation, or listen to you, just as though she had been my
relation, {as} the law orders one to find her a portion, rid me of
her, {and} take five minæ.
PHOR. (_laughing._) Ha, ha, ha! a pleasant individual!
DEM. Well! am I asking any thing unfair? Or am I not to obtain even
this, which is my right at common law?
PHOR. Pray, really is it so, that when you have abused her like a
courtesan, the law orders you to pay her hire and pack her off? Or {is
it} the fact, that in order that a citizen may bring no disgrace upon
herself through poverty, she has been ordered to be given to her
nearest relative, to pass her life with him alone? {A thing} which you
mean to prevent.
DEM. Yes, to her nearest relative, indeed; but why to us, or on what
ground?
PHOR. Well, well, a thing tried, they say, you can’t try over {again}.
DEM. Not try it? On the contrary, I shall not desist until I have gone
through with it.
PHOR. You are trifling.
DEM. Only let me alone {for that}.
PHOR. In short, Demipho, I have nothing to do with you; your son has
been cast, {and} not you; for your time of life for marrying has now
gone by.
DEM. Consider that it is he that says to you all I now say, or else
assuredly, together with this wife {of his}, I’ll be forbidding him
the house.
GETA (_aside._) He’s in a passion.
PHOR. You’ll be acting more considerately.
DEM. Are you so resolved, you unlucky fellow, to do me all the
mischief you can?
PHOR. (_aside, to GETA._) He’s afraid of us, although he’s so careful
to conceal it.
GETA (_aside, to PHORMIO._) Your beginning has turned out well.
PHOR. But if, on the contrary, you endure what must be endured, you’ll
be doing what’s worthy of you, so that we may be on friendly terms.
DEM. (_indignantly._) What, I seek your friendship, or have any wish
to see or hear you?
PHOR. If you can agree with her, you will have some one to cheer up
your old age; {just} consider your time of life.
DEM. Let her cheer up yourself; keep her to yourself.
PHOR. Really, do moderate your passion.
DEM. Mark what I say. There have been words enough already; if you
don’t make haste to fetch away the woman, I shall turn her out: I have
said it, Phormio.
PHOR. If you use her in any other manner than is befitting a free-born
woman, I shall be bringing a swinging action against you: I have said
it, Demipho. (_To GETA._) Hark you, if there should be any occasion
for me, I shall be at home.
GETA (_apart._) I understand you. (_Exit PHORMIO._
SCENE III.
_DEMIPHO, HEGIO, CRATINUS, CRITO, and GETA._
DEM. What care and anxiety my son does bring upon me, by entangling
himself and me in this same marriage! And he doesn’t {so much as} come
into my sight, that at least I might know what he says about this
matter, or what his sentiments are. (_To GETA._) Be off, go see
whether he has returned home or not by this.
GETA. I will. (_Goes into the house._)
DEM. (_to the ASSISTANTS._) You see how the case stands. What am I to
do? Tell {me}, Hegio.
HEG. What, I? I think Cratinus {ought}, if it seems good to you.
DEM. Tell {me}, Cratinus.
CRAT. What, do you wish me to speak? I should like you to do what is
most for your advantage; it is my opinion, that what this son of yours
has done in your absence, in law and justice ought to be annulled; and
that you’ll obtain redress. That’s my opinion.
DEM. Say now, Hegio.
HEG. I believe that he has spoken with due deliberation; but it is the
fact, “as many men, so many minds;”[55] every one his own way. It
doesn’t appear to me that what has been done by law can be revoked;
and it is wrong to attempt it.
DEM. Speak, Crito.
CRIT. I am of opinion that we must deliberate further;[56] it is a
matter of importance.
HEG. Do you want any thing further with us?
DEM. You have done very well. (_Exeunt ASSISTANTS._) I am much more at
a loss[57] than before.
_Re-enter GETA, from the house._
GETA. They say that he has not come back.
DEM. I must wait for my brother. The advice that he gives me about
this matter, I shall follow. I’ll go make inquiry at the harbor, when
he is to come back. (_Exit._
GETA. And I’ll go look for Antipho, that he may learn what has passed
here. But look, I see him coming this way, just in the very nick of
time.
SCENE IV.
_Enter ANTIPHO, at a distance._
ANT. (_to himself._) Indeed, Antipho, in many ways you are to be
blamed for these feelings; to have thus run away, and intrusted your
existence to the protection of other people. Did you suppose that
others would give more attention to your interests than your own self?
For, however other matters stood, certainly you should have thought of
her whom you have now at home, that she might not suffer any harm in
consequence of her confiding in you, whose hopes and resources, poor
thing, are all now centred in yourself alone.
GETA (_coming forward._) Why really, master, we have for some time
been censuring you here in your absence, for having {thus} gone away.
ANT. You are the very person I was looking for.
GETA. But still, we were not a bit the more remiss on that account.
ANT. Tell me, I beg of you, in what posture are my interests and
fortunes. Has my father any suspicion?
GETA. Not any at present.
ANT. Is there still any hope?
GETA. I don’t know.
ANT. Alas!
GETA. But Phædria has not neglected to use his endeavors in your
behalf.
ANT. He did nothing new.
GETA. Then Phormio, too, in this matter, just as in every thing else,
showed himself a man of energy.
ANT. What did he do?
GETA. With his words he silenced the old man, who was very angry.
ANT. Well done, Phormio!
GETA. I, too, {did} all I could.
ANT. My {dear} Geta, I love you all.
GETA. The commencement is just in this position, as I tell you:
matters, at present, are going on smoothly, and your father intends to
wait for your uncle till he arrives.
ANT. Why him?
GETA. He said he was wishful to act by his advice, in all that relates
to this business.
ANT. How greatly now, Geta, I do dread my uncle’s safe arrival! For,
according to his single sentence, from what I hear, I am to live or
die.
GETA. Here comes Phædria.
ANT. Where is he, pray?
GETA. See, he’s coming from his place of exercise.[58]
SCENE V.
_Enter from DORIO’S house, DORIO, followed by PHÆDRIA._
PHÆD. Prithee, hear me, Dorio.
DOR. I’ll not hear you.
PHÆD. Only a moment.
DOR. Let me alone.
PHÆD. Do hear what I have to say.
DOR. Why really I am tired of hearing the same thing a thousand times
over.
PHÆD. But now, I have something to tell you that you’ll hear with
pleasure.
DOR. Speak {then}; I’m listening.
PHÆD. Can I not prevail on you to wait for only three days? Whither
are you going now?
DOR. I was wondering if you had any thing new to offer.
ANT. (_apart, to GETA._) I’m afraid for this Procurer, lest----
GETA (_apart, to ANTIPHO._) Something may befall his own safety.[59]
PHÆD. You don’t believe me?
DOR. You guess right.
PHÆD. But if I pledge my word.
DOR. Nonsense!
PHÆD. You will have reason to say that this kindness was well laid out
by you on interest.
DOR. Stuff!
PHÆD. Believe me, you will be glad you did so; upon my faith, it is
the truth.
DOR. {Mere} dreams!
PHÆD. Do but try; the time is not long.
DOR. The same story over again.
PHÆD. You {will be} my kinsman, my father, my friend; you----
DOR. Now, do prate on.
PHÆD. For you to be of a disposition so harsh and inexorable, that
neither by pity nor by entreaties can you be softened!
DOR. For you to be of a disposition so unreasonable and so
unconscionable, Phædria, that you can be talking me over with fine
words,[60] and be for amusing yourself with what’s my property for
nothing!
ANT. (_apart, to GETA._) I am sorry for him.
PHÆD. (_aside._) Alas! I feel it to be too true.
GETA (_apart, to ANTIPHO._) How well each keeps up to his character!
PHÆD. (_to himself._) And would that this misfortune had not befallen
me at a time when Antipho was occupied with other cares as well.
ANT. (_coming forward._) Ah Phædria, why, what is the matter?
PHÆD. O most fortunate Antipho!
ANT. What, I?
PHÆD. To have in your possession the object of your love, and have no
occasion to encounter such a nuisance as this.
ANT. What I, in my possession? Why yes, as the saying is, I’ve got a
wolf by the ears;[61] for I neither know how to get rid of her, nor
yet how to keep her.
DOR. That’s just my case with regard to him (_pointing to PHÆDRIA_).
ANT. (_to DORIO._) Aye, aye, don’t you show too little of the
Procurer. (_To PHÆDRIA._) What has he been doing?
PHÆD. What, he? Acting the part of a most inhuman fellow; been and
sold my Pamphila.
GETA. What! Sold her?
ANT. Sold her, say you?
PHÆD. Sold her.
DOR. (_ironically._) What a shocking crime-- a wench bought with one’s
own money!
PHÆD. I can not prevail upon him to wait for me the next three days,
and {so far} break off the bargain with the person, while I get the
money from my friends, which has been promised {me}; if I don’t give
it him then, let him not wait a single hour longer.
DOR. Very good.
ANT. It’s not a long time that he asks, Dorio; do let him prevail upon
you; he’ll pay you two-fold for having acted to him thus obligingly.
DOR. {Mere} words!
ANT. Will you allow Pamphila to be carried away from this place? {And}
then, besides, can you possibly allow their love to be severed
asunder?
DOR. Neither I nor you {cause that}.
GETA. May all the Gods grant you what you are deserving of!
DOR. I have borne with you for several months quite against my
inclination; promising {and} whimpering, and {yet} bringing nothing;
now, on the other hand, I have found one to pay, and not be sniveling;
give place to your betters.
ANT. I’ faith, there surely was a day named, if I remember right, for
you to pay him.
PHÆD. {It} is the fact.
DOR. Do I deny it?
ANT. Is that {day} past, then?
DOR. No; but this one has come before it.
ANT. Are you not ashamed of your perfidy?
DOR. Not at all, so long as it is for my interest.
GETA. Dunghill!
PHÆD. Dorio, is it right, pray, for you to act thus?
DOR. It is my way; if I suit you, make use of me.
ANT. Do you try to trifle with him (_pointing to PHÆDRIA_) in this
manner?
DOR. Why really, on the contrary, Antipho, it’s he trifling with me,
for he knew me to be a person of this sort; I supposed him to be quite
a different man; he has deceived me; I’m not a bit different to him
from what I was {before}. But however that may be, I’ll yet do this;
the captain has said, that to-morrow morning he will pay me the money;
if you bring it me before that, Phædria, I’ll follow my rule, that he
is the first served who is the first to pay. Farewell! (_Goes into his
house._)
SCENE VI.
_PHÆDRIA, ANTIPHO, and GETA._
PHÆD. What am I to do? Wretch that I am! where am I now in this
emergency to raise the money for him, {I}, who am worse than nothing?
If it had been possible for these three days to be obtained of him, it
was promised me {by then}.
ANT. Geta, shall we suffer him to continue thus wretched, when he so
lately assisted me in the kind way you were mentioning? On the
contrary, why not, as there’s need of it, try to do him a kindness in
return?
GETA. For my part, I’m sure it is {but} fair.
ANT. Come then, you are the only man able to serve him.
GETA. What can I do?
ANT. Procure the money.
GETA. I wish I could; but where {it is to come} from-- tell me that.
ANT. My father has come home.
GETA. I know; but what of that?
ANT. Oh, a word to the wise[62] is quite enough.
GETA. Is that it, then?
ANT. Just so.
GETA. Upon my faith, you really do give me fine advice; out upon you!
Ought I not to be heartily glad, if I meet with no mishap through your
marriage, but what, in addition to that, you must now bid me, for his
sake, to be seeking risk upon risk?
ANT. ’Tis true what he says.
PHÆD. What! am I a stranger to you, Geta?
GETA. I don’t consider {you so}. But is it so trifling a matter that
the old gentleman is now vexed with us all, that we must provoke him
still more, and leave no room for entreaty?
PHÆD. Is another man to take her away from before my eyes to some
unknown spot? Alas! speak to me then, Antipho, and look upon me while
you have the opportunity, and while I’m present.
ANT. Why so, or what are you going to do? Pray, tell me.
PHÆD. To whatever part of the world she is borne away, I’m determined
to follow her or to perish.
GETA. May the Gods prosper your design! Cautiously’s {the word},
however.
ANT. (_to GETA._) Do see if you can give him any assistance at all.
GETA. Any at all-- how?
ANT. Pray, do try, that he mayn’t be doing something that we may
afterward be more or less sorry for, Geta.
GETA. I’m considering. (_He pauses._) He’s all safe, so far as I can
guess: but still, I’m afraid of mischief.
ANT. Don’t be afraid: together with you, we’ll share good {and} bad.
GETA. (_to PHÆDRIA._) How much money do you want? Tell me.
PHÆD. Only thirty minæ.
GETA. Thirty? Heyday! she’s monstrous dear, Phædria.
PHÆD. Indeed, she’s very cheap.
GETA. Well, well, I’ll get them for you.
PHÆD. Oh the dear man! (_They both fall to hugging GETA._)
GETA. Take yourselves off. (_Shakes them off._)
PHÆD. There’s need for them directly.
GETA. You shall have them directly; but I must have Phormio for my
assistant in this business.
ANT. He’s quite ready; right boldly lay on him any load you like,
he’ll bear it: he, in especial, is a friend to his friend.
GETA. Let’s go to him at once then.
ANT. Will you have any occasion for my assistance?
GETA. None; but be off home, and comfort that poor thing, who I am
sure is now in-doors almost dead with fear. Do you linger?
ANT. There’s nothing I could do with so much pleasure. (_Goes into the
house of DEMIPHO._)
PHÆD. What way will you manage this?
GETA. I’ll tell you on the road; first thing, betake yourself off.
(_Exeunt_
ACT THE THIRD.
SCENE I.
_Enter DEMIPHO and CHREMES._
DEM. Well, have you brought your daughter with you, Chremes, for whom
you went to Lemnos?
CHREM. No.
DEM. Why not?
CHREM. When her mother found that I staid here longer than usual, and
at the same time the age of the girl did not suit with my delays, they
told me that she, with all her family, set out in search of me.
DEM. Pray, then, why did you stay there so long, when you had heard of
this?
CHREM. Why, faith, a malady detained me.
DEM. From what cause? Or what {was it}?
CHREM. Do you ask me? Old age itself is a malady. However, I heard
that they had arrived safe, from the captain who brought them.
DEM. Have you heard, Chremes, what has happened to my son in my
absence?
CHREM. ’Tis that, in fact, that has embarrassed me in my plans. For if
I offer my daughter in marriage to any person that’s a stranger, it
must all be told how and by whom I had her. You I knew to be fully as
faithful to me as I am to myself; if a stranger shall think fit to be
connected with me by marriage, he will hold his tongue, just as long
as good terms exist between us: but if he takes a dislike to me, he’ll
be knowing more than it’s proper he should know. I am afraid, too,
lest my wife should, by some means, come to know of it; if that is the
case, it {only} remains for me to shake myself[63] and leave the
house; for I’m the only one I can rely on at home.[64]
DEM. I know it is so, and that circumstance is a cause of anxiety to
me; and I shall never cease trying, until I’ve made good what I
promised you.
SCENE II.
_Enter GETA, on the other side of the stage, not seeing DEMIPHO or
CHREMES._
GETA. (_to himself._) I never saw a more cunning fellow than this
Phormio. I came to the fellow to tell him that money was needed, and
by what means it might be procured. Hardly had I said one half, when
he understood me; he was quite delighted; complimented me; asked where
the old man was; gave thanks to the Gods that an opportunity was
afforded him for showing himself no less a friend to Phædria than to
Antipho: I bade the fellow wait for me at the Forum; whither I would
bring the old gentleman. But see, here’s the very man (_catching sight
of the Old Man_). Who is the further one? Heyday, Phædria’s father has
got back! still, brute beast that I am, what was I afraid of? Is it
because two are presented instead of one for me to dupe? I deem it
preferable to enjoy a two-fold hope. I’ll try for it from him from
whom I first intended: if he gives it me, well and good; if I can make
nothing of him, then I’ll attack this new-comer.
SCENE III.
_Enter ANTIPHO from the house, behind at a distance._
ANT. (_to himself._) I’m expecting every moment that Geta will be
here. But I see my uncle standing close by, with my father. Ah me! how
much I fear what influence his return may have upon my father!
GETA. (_to himself._) I’ll accost them. (_Goes up to them._) O welcome
to you, our {neighbor} Chremes.
CHREM. Save you, Geta.
GETA. I’m delighted to see you safe returned.
CHREM. I believe you.
GETA. How go matters?
CHREM. Many changes here upon my arrival, as usually the case.
GETA. True; have you heard what has happened to Antipho?
CHREM. All.
GETA. (_to DEMIPHO._) What, have you told him? Disgraceful conduct,
Chremes, thus to be imposed on.
DEM. It was about that I was talking to him just now.
GETA. But really, on carefully reflecting upon this matter I think I
have found a remedy.
DEM. What {is} the remedy?
GETA. When I left you, by accident Phormio met me.
CHREM. Who {is} Phormio?
GETA. He who {patronized} her.
CHREM. I understand.
GETA. It seemed to me that I might first sound him; I took the fellow
aside: “Phormio,” said I, “why don’t we try to settle these matters
between us rather with a good grace than with a bad one? {My} master’s
a generous {man}, and one who hates litigation; but really, upon my
faith, all his friends were just now advising him with one voice to
turn her instantly out of doors.”
ANT. (_apart._) What is he about? Or where is this to end at last?
GETA (_continuing the supposed conversation._) “He’ll have to give
satisfaction at law, you say, if he turns her out? That has been
already inquired into: aye, aye, you’ll have enough to do, if you
engage with him; he is so eloquent. But suppose he’s beaten; still,
however, it’s not his life, but his money that’s at stake.” After I
found that the fellow was influenced by these words, I said: “We are
now by ourselves here; come now, what should you like to be given you,
money down, to drop this suit with my master, so that she may betake
herself off, {and} you annoy us no more?”
ANT. (_apart._) Are the Gods quite on good terms with him?[65]
GETA (_continuing the conversation._) “For I’m quite sure, if you were
to mention any thing that’s fair and reasonable, as he is a reasonable
man, you’ll not have to bandy three words with him.”
DEM. Who ordered you to say so?
CHREM. Nay, he could not have more happily contrived to bring about
what we want.
ANT. (_apart._) Undone!
CHREM. Go on with your story.
GETA. At first the fellow raved.
DEM. Say, what did he ask?
GETA. What? A great deal too much.
CHREM. How much? Tell me.
GETA. Suppose he were to give a great talent.
DEM. Aye, faith, perdition {to him rather}; has he no shame?
GETA. Just what I said to him: “Pray,” {said I}, “suppose he was
portioning an only daughter of his own. It has been of little benefit
that he hasn’t one of his own, when another has been found to be
demanding a fortune.” To be brief, and to pass over his impertinences,
this at last was his final answer: “I,” said he, “from the very first,
have been desirous to marry the daughter of my friend, as was fit I
should; for I was aware of the ill results of this, a poor wife being
married into a rich family, and becoming a slave. But, as I am now
conversing with you unreservedly, I was in want of {a wife} to bring
me a little money with which to pay off my debts; and even yet, if
Demipho is willing to give as much as I am to receive with her to whom
I am engaged, there is no one whom I should better like for a wife.”
ANT. (_apart._) Whether to say he’s doing this through folly or
mischief, through stupidity or design, I’m in doubt.
DEM. What if he’s in debt to the amount of his life?[66]
GETA. His land is mortgaged,-- for ten minæ he said.
DEM. Well, well, let him take her then; I’ll give it.
GETA. He has a house besides, {mortgaged} for another ten.
DEM. Huy, huy! that’s too much.
CHREM. Don’t be crying out; you may have those ten of me.
GETA. A lady’s maid must be brought for his wife; and then too,
a little more is wanted for some furniture, {and} some is wanted for
the wedding expenses. “Well then,” said he, “for these items, put down
ten more.”
DEM. Then let him at once bring six hundred actions[67] against me;
I shall give nothing at all; is this dirty fellow to be laughing at me
as well?
CHREM. Pray do be quiet; I’ll give it: do you only bring your son to
marry the woman we want him {to have}.
ANT. (_apart._) Ah me! Geta, you have ruined me by your treachery.
CHREM. ’Tis on my account she’s turned off; it’s right that I should
bear the loss.
GETA. “Take care and let me know,” said he, “as soon as possible, if
they are going to let me have her, that I may get rid of the other, so
that I mayn’t be in doubt; for the others have agreed to pay me down
the portion directly.”
CHREM. Let him have her at once; let him give notice to them that he
breaks off the match {with the other, and} let him marry this woman.
DEM. Yes, {and} little joy to him of the bargain!
CHREM. Luckily, too, I’ve now brought {home} some money with me, the
rents which my wife’s farms at Lemnos produce. I’ll take it out of
that, {and} tell my wife that you had occasion for it. (_They go into
the house of CHREMES._)
SCENE IV.
_ANTIPHO and GETA._
ANT. (_coming forward._) Geta.
GETA. Well.
ANT. What have you been doing?
GETA. Diddling the old fellows out of their money.
ANT. Is that quite the thing?
GETA. I’ faith, I don’t know: it’s just what I was told {to do}.
ANT. How now, whip-scoundrel, do you give me an answer to what I don’t
ask you? (_Kicks him._)
GETA. What was it then that you did ask?
ANT. What was it I did ask? Through your agency, matters have most
undoubtedly come to the pass that I may go hang myself. May then all
the Gods, Goddesses, Deities above {and} below, with every evil
confound you! Look now, if you wish any thing to succeed, intrust it
to him who may bring you from smooth water on to a rock. What was
there less advantageous than to touch upon this sore, or to name my
wife? Hopes have been excited in my father that she may possibly be
got rid of. Pray now, tell me, suppose Phormio receives the portion,
she must be taken home {by him} as his wife: what’s to become of me?
GETA. But he’s not going to marry her.
ANT. I know that. But (_ironically_) when they demand the money back,
of course, for our sake, he’ll prefer going to prison.
GETA. There is nothing, Antipho, but what it may be made worse by
being badly told: you leave out what is good, {and} you mention the
bad. Now then, hear the other side: if he receives the money, she must
be taken as his wife, you say; I grant you; still, some time at least
will be allowed for preparing for the nuptials, for inviting, {and}
for sacrificing. In the mean time, {Phædria’s} friends will advance
what they have promised; out of that he will repay it.
ANT. On what grounds? Or what will he say?
GETA. Do you ask the question? “How many circumstances, since then,
have befallen me as prodigies? A strange black dog[68] entered the
house; a snake came down from the tiles through the sky-light;[69]
a hen crowed;[70] the soothsayer forbade it; the diviner[71] warned me
not: besides, before winter there is no sufficient reason for me to
commence upon any new undertaking.” This will be the case.
ANT. I only wish it may be the case.
GETA. It shall be the case; trust me for that. Your father’s coming
out; go tell Phædria that the money is found.
SCENE V.
_Enter DEMIPHO and CHREMES, from the house of the latter, the former
with a purse of money._
DEM. Do be quiet, I tell you; I’ll take care he shall not be playing
any tricks {upon us}. I’ll not rashly part with this without having my
witnesses; I’ll have it stated to whom I pay it, {and} for what
purpose I pay it.
GETA. (_apart._) How cautious he is, when there’s no need for it!
CHREM. Why yes, you had need do so, and with all haste, while the fit
is upon him; for if this other woman shall prove more pressing,
perhaps he may throw us over.
GETA. You’ve hit upon the very thing.
DEM. Lead me to him then.
GETA. I won’t delay.
CHREM. (_to DEMIPHO._) When you’ve done so, go over to my wife, that
she may call upon her before she goes away. She must tell her that we
are going to give her in marriage to Phormio, that she may not be
angry with us; and that he is a fitter match for her, as knowing more
of her; that we have in no way departed from our duty; that as much
has been given for a portion as he asked for.
DEM. What the plague does that matter to you?
CHREM. A great deal, Demipho. It is not enough for you to do your
duty, if common report does not approve of it; I wish {all} this to be
done with her own sanction as well, that she mayn’t be saying that she
has been turned out of doors.
DEM. I can do {all} that myself.
CHREM. It will come better from one woman to another.
DEM. I’ll ask her. (_Goes into the house of CHREMES; and exit GETA._)
CHREM. (_to himself._) I’m thinking where I can find them now.[72]
SCENE VI.
_Enter SOPHRONA from the house of DEMIPHO, at a distance._
SOPH. (_to herself._) What am I to do? What friend, in my distress,
shall I find, to whom to disclose these plans; and where shall I look
for relief? For I’m afraid that my mistress, in consequence of my
advice, may undeservingly sustain some injury, so extremely ill do I
hear that the young man’s father takes what has happened.
CHREM. (_apart, to himself._) But what old woman’s this, that has come
out of my brother’s house, half dead with fright?
SOPH. (_to herself, continuing._) It was distress that compelled me to
this step, though I knew that the match was not likely to hold good;
my object was, that in the mean time life might be supported.
CHREM. (_apart, to himself._) Upon my faith, surely, unless my
recollection deceives me, or my sight’s not very good, I espy my
daughter’s nurse.[73]
SOPH. (_to herself._) And we are not able to find----
CHREM. (_apart._) What must I do?
SOPH. (_to herself._) Her father.
CHREM. (_to himself, apart._) Shall I accost her, or shall I wait to
learn more distinctly what it is she’s saying?
SOPH. (_to herself._) If now I could find him, there’s nothing that I
should be in fear of.
CHREM. (_apart, to himself, aloud._) ’Tis the very woman. I’ll address
her.
SOPH. (_turning round._) Who’s that speaking here?
CHREM. (_coming forward._) Sophrona.
SOPH. Mentioning my name, too?
CHREM. Look round at me.
SOPH. (_seeing him._) Ye Gods, I do beseech you, isn’t this Stilpho?
CHREM. No.
SOPH. Do you deny it?
CHREM. (_in a low voice._) Step a little this way from that door,
Sophrona, if you please (_pointing_). Don’t you, henceforth, be
calling me by that name.
SOPH. Why? Pray, are you not the person you always used to say you
were?
CHREM. Hush! (_pointing to his own house._)
SOPH. Why are you afraid about that door?
CHREM. (_in a low voice._) I have got a shrew of a wife shut up there.
For by that name I formerly falsely called myself, in order that you
might not chance indiscreetly to blab it out of doors, and then my
wife, by some means or other, might come to know of it.
SOPH. I’ faith, that’s the very reason why we, wretched creatures,
have never been able to find you out here.
CHREM. Well, but tell me, what business have you with that family from
whose house you were coming out? Where are the ladies?[74]
SOPH. Ah, wretched me!
CHREM. Hah! What’s the matter? Are they still alive?
SOPH. Your daughter is alive. Her poor mother died of grief.
CHREM. An unfortunate thing!
SOPH. As for me, being a lone old woman, in want, {and} unknown,
I contrived, as well as I could, to get the young woman married to the
young man who is master of this house (_pointing_).
CHREM. What! to Antipho?
SOPH. The very same, I say.
CHREM. What? {Has} he {got} two wives?
SOPH. Dear no, prithee, he has only got this one.
CHREM. What about the other one that’s called his relative?
SOPH. Why, this is she.
CHREM. What is it you say?
SOPH. It was done on purpose, in order that her lover might be enabled
to marry her without a portion.
CHREM. Ye Gods, by our trust in you! How often do those things come
about through accident, which you couldn’t dare to hope for? On my
return, I have found my daughter matched with the very person I
wished, and just as I wanted; a thing that we were both using our
endeavors, with the greatest earnestness, to bring about. Without any
very great management on our part, by her own management, she has by
herself brought this about.
SOPH. Now consider what’s to be done. The young man’s father has
returned, and they say that he bears this with feelings highly
offended.
CHREM. There’s no danger {of that}. But, by Gods and men, do take care
that no one comes to know that she’s my daughter.
SOPH. No one shall know {it} from me.
CHREM. Follow me; in-doors we’ll hear the rest. (_He goes into
DEMIPHO’S house, followed by SOPHRONA._)
ACT THE FOURTH.
SCENE I.
_Enter DEMIPHO and GETA._
DEM. ’Tis caused by our own fault, that it is advantageous to be
dishonest; while we wish ourselves to be styled very honest and
generous. “So run away as {not to run} beyond the house,”[75] as the
saying is. Was it not enough to receive an injury from him, but money
must be voluntarily offered him as well, that he may have something on
which to subsist while he plans some other {piece} of roguery?
GETA. Most clearly so.
DEM. They now get rewarded for it, who confound right with wrong.
GETA. Most undoubtedly.
DEM. How very foolishly, in fact, we have managed the affair with him!
GETA. If by these means we can only manage for him to marry her.
DEM. Is that, then, a matter of doubt?
GETA. I’ faith, judging from what the fellow is, I don’t know whether
he mightn’t change his mind.
DEM. How! change it indeed?
GETA. I don’t know: but “if perhaps,” I say.
DEM. I’ll do as my brother advised me, bring hither his wife, to talk
with her. Do you, Geta, go before; tell her that Nausistrata is about
to visit her. (_DEMIPHO goes into the house of CHREMES._)
SCENE II.
_GETA, alone._
GETA. The money’s been got for Phædria; it’s all hushed about the
lawsuit; due care has been taken that she’s not to leave for the
present. What next, then? What’s to be done? You are still sticking in
the mud. You are paying by borrowing;[76] the evil that was at hand,
has been put off for a day. The toils are increasing upon you, if you
don’t look out. Now I’ll away home, and tell Phanium not to be afraid
of Nausistrata, or his talking.[77] (_Goes into the house of
DEMIPHO._)
SCENE III.
_Enter DEMIPHO and NAUSISTRATA, from the house of CHREMES._
DEM. Come now, Nausistrata, after your usual way, manage to keep her
in good-humor with us, {and} make her do of her own accord what must
be done.
NAUS. I will.
DEM. You are now seconding me with your endeavors, just as you
assisted me with your money[78] before.
NAUS. I wish to do so; and yet, i’ faith, through the fault of my
husband, I am less able than I ought to be.
DEM. Why so?
NAUS. Because, i’ faith, he takes such indifferent care of the
property that was so industriously acquired by my father; for from
those farms he used regularly to receive two talents of silver
{yearly}; there’s an instance, how superior one man is to another.
DEM. Two {talents}, pray?
NAUS. {Aye}, and when things were much worse, two talents even.
DEM. Whew!
NAUS. What! does this seem surprising?
DEM. Of course it does.
NAUS. I wish I had been born a man; I’d have shown----
DEM. That I’m quite sure of.
NAUS. In what way----
DEM. Forbear, pray, that you may be able {to do battle} with her; lest
she, {being} a young woman, may be more than a match for you.
NAUS. I’ll do as you bid me; but I see my husband coming out of your
house.
SCENE IV.
_Enter CHREMES, hastily, from DEMIPHO’S house._
CHREM. Ha! Demipho, has the money been paid him yet?
DEM. I took care immediately.
CHREM. I wish it hadn’t been paid him. (_On seeing NAUSISTRATA,
aside._) Halloo, I espy my wife; I had almost said more than I ought.
DEM. Why do you wish I hadn’t, Chremes?
CHREM. It’s all right.
DEM. What {say} you? Have you been letting her know why we are going
to bring her? (_pointing to NAUSISTRATA._)
CHREM. I’ve arranged it.
DEM. Pray, what does she say?
CHREM. She can’t be got to leave.
DEM. Why can’t she?
CHREM. Because they are fond of one another.
DEM. What’s that to us?
CHREM. (_apart, to DEMIPHO._) A great deal; besides that, I’ve found
out that she is related to us.
DEM. (_apart._) What! You are mad, {surely}.
CHREM. (_apart._) So you will find; I don’t speak at random; I’ve
recovered my recollection.
DEM. (_apart._) Are you quite in your senses?
CHREM. (_apart._) Nay, prithee, do take care not to injure your
kinswoman.
DEM. (_apart._) She is not.
CHREM. (_apart._) Don’t deny it; her father went by another name; that
was the cause of your mistake.
DEM. (_apart._) Did she not know who was her father?
CHREM. (_apart._) She did.
DEM. (_apart._) Why did she call him by another {name}?
CHREM. (_apart, frowning._) Will you never yield to me, nor understand
{what I mean}?
DEM. (_apart._) If you don’t tell me of any thing----
CHREM. (_impatiently._) Do you persist?
NAUS. I wonder what {all} this can be.
DEM. For my part, upon my faith, I don’t know.
CHREM. (_whispering to him._) Would you like to know? Then, so may
Jupiter preserve me, not a person is there more nearly related to her
than are you and I.
DEM. (_starting._) Ye Gods, by our trust in you! let’s away to her;
I wish for all of us, one way or other, to be sure about this
(_going_).
CHREM. (_stopping him._) Ah!
DEM. What’s the matter?
CHREM. That you should put so little confidence in me!
DEM. Do you wish me to believe you? Do you wish me to consider this as
quite certain? Very well, be it so. Well, what’s to be done with our
friend’s[79] daughter?
CHREM. She’ll do well enough.
DEM. Are we to drop her, then?
CHREM. Why not?
DEM. The other one to stop?
CHREM. Just so.
DEM. You may go then, Nausistrata.
NAUS. I’ faith, I think it better for all that she should remain here
as it is, than as you {first} intended; for she seemed to me a very
genteel person when I saw her. (_Goes into her house._)
SCENE V.
_DEMIPHO and CHREMES._
DEM. What is the meaning of all this?
CHREM. (_looking at the door of his house._) Has she shut the door
yet?
DEM. Now {she has}.
CHREM. O Jupiter! the Gods do befriend us; I have found that it is my
daughter married to your son.
DEM. Ha! How can that possibly be?
CHREM. This spot is not exactly suited for me to tell it {you}.
DEM. Well then, step in-doors.
CHREM. Hark you, I don’t wish our sons even to come to know of this.
(_They go into DEMIPHO’S house._)
SCENE VI.
_Enter ANTIPHO._
ANT. I’m glad that, however my own affairs go, my brother has
succeeded in his wishes. How wise it is to cherish desires of that
nature in the mind, that when things run counter, you may easily find
a cure {for them}! He has both got the money, {and} released himself
from care; I, by no method, can extricate myself from these troubles;
on the contrary, if the matter is concealed, {I am} in dread-- but if
disclosed, in disgrace. Neither should I now go home, were not a hope
{still} presented me of retaining her. But where, I wonder, can I find
Geta, that I may ask him what opportunity he would recommend me to
take for meeting my father?
SCENE VII.
_Enter PHORMIO, at a distance._
PHOR. (_to himself._) I received the money; handed it over to the
Procurer; brought away the woman, that Phædria might have her as his
own-- for she has {now} become free. Now there is one thing still
remaining for me to manage,-- to get a respite from the old gentlemen
for carousing; for I’ll enjoy myself the {next} few days.
ANT. But {here’s} Phormio. (_Going up to him._) What have you to say?
PHOR. About what?
ANT. Why-- what’s Phædria going to do now? In what way does he say
that he intends to take his fill of love?
PHOR. In his turn, he’s going to act your part.
ANT. What {part}?
PHOR. To run away from his father; he begs that you in your return
will act on his behalf-- to plead his cause for him. For he’s going to
carouse at my house. I shall tell the old man that I’m going to
Sunium, to the fair, to purchase the female servant that Geta
mentioned a while since, so that, when they don’t see me here, they
mayn’t suppose that I’m squandering their money. But there is a noise
at the door of your house.
ANT. See who’s coming out.
PHOR. It’s Geta.
SCENE VIII.
_Enter GETA, at a distance, hastily, from the house of DEMIPHO._
GETA. (_to himself._) O fortune! O good luck![80] with blessings how
great, how suddenly hast thou loaded this day with thy favors to my
master Antipho!--
ANT. (_apart to PHORMIO._) I wonder what it is he means.
GETA. (_continuing._) And relieved us, his friends, from alarm; but
I’m now delaying, in not throwing my cloak[81] over my shoulder
(_throws it over his shoulder_), and making haste to find him, that he
may know what has happened.
ANT. (_apart to PHORMIO._) Do you understand what he’s talking about?
PHOR. (_apart to ANTIPHO._) Do you?
ANT. (_apart to PHORMIO._) Not at all.
PHOR. (_apart to ANTIPHO._) And I just as much.
GETA. (_to himself._) I’ll be off hence to the Procurer’s; they are
there just now. (_Runs along._)
ANT. (_calling out._) Halloo! Geta!
GETA. (_still running._) There’s for you. Is it any thing new or
wonderful to be called back, directly you’ve started?
ANT. Geta!
GETA. Do you persist? Troth, you shall not on this occasion get the
better of me by your annoyance.
ANT. (_running after him._) Won’t you stop?
GETA. You’ll be getting a beating.
ANT. Assuredly that will befall yourself just now unless you stop, you
whip-knave.
GETA. This must be some one pretty familiar, threatening me with a
beating. (_Turns round._) But is it the person I’m in search of or
not? ’Tis the very man! Up to him at once.
ANT. What’s the matter?
GETA. O being most blessed of all men living! For without question,
Antipho, you are the only favorite of the Gods.
ANT. So I could wish; but I should like to be told why I’m to believe
it is so.
GETA. Is it enough if I plunge you into a sea of joy?
ANT. You are worrying me to death.
PHOR. Nay but do have done with your promises, and tell us what you
bring.
GETA. (_looking round._) Oh, are you here too, Phormio?
PHOR. I am: but {why} do you delay?
GETA. Listen, then. When we just now paid you the money at the Forum,
we went straight to Chremes; in the mean time, my master sent me to
your wife.
ANT. What for?
GETA. I’ll omit telling you {that}, as it is nothing to the present
purpose, Antipho. Just as I was going to the woman’s apartments, the
boy Mida came running up to me, and caught me behind by my cloak,
{and} pulled me back; I turned about, {and} inquired for what reason
he stopped me; he said that it was forbidden for any one to go in to
his mistress. “Sophrona has just now,” said he, “introduced here
Chremes, the old gentleman’s brother,” and {he said} that he was then
in the room with them: when I heard this, on tip-toe I stole softly
along; I came there, stood, held my breath, I applied my ear, {and} so
began to listen, catching the conversation every word in this fashion
(_shows them_).
ANT. Well done, Geta.
GETA. Here I overheard a very pretty piece of business; so much so
that I had nearly cried out for joy.
ANT. What {was it}?
GETA. (_laughing._) What do you think?
ANT. I don’t know.
GETA. Why, something most marvelous. Your uncle has been discovered to
be the father of your wife, Phanium.
ANT. (_starting._) Ha! what’s that you say?
GETA. He formerly cohabited secretly with her mother at Lemnos.
PHOR. A dream: how could she be ignorant about her own father?
GETA. Be sure, Phormio, that there is some reason: but do you suppose
that, outside of the door, I was able to understand every thing that
passed between them within?
ANT. On my faith, I too have heard the same story.
GETA. Aye, and I’ll give you still further reason for believing it:
your uncle in the mean time came out from there; not long after he
returned again, with your father; each said that he gave you
permission to retain her; in fine, I’ve been sent to find you, and
bring you to them.
ANT. Why then carry me off[82] {at once};-- why do you delay?
GETA. I’ll do so.
ANT. O my {dear} Phormio, farewell!
PHOR. Farewell, Antipho. (_ANTIPHO and GETA go into DEMIPHO’S house._)
SCENE IX.
_PHORMIO, alone._
PHOR. So may the Gods bless me, this has turned out luckily. I’m glad
{of it}, that such good fortune has thus suddenly befallen them.
I have now an excellent opportunity for diddling the old men, and
ridding Phædria of {all} anxiety about the money, so that he mayn’t be
under the necessity of applying to any of his companions. For this
same money, as it has been given him, shall be given {for good},
whether they like it or not: how to force them to this, I’ve found out
the very way. I must now assume a new air and countenance. But I’ll
betake myself off to this next alley; from that spot I’ll present
myself to them, when they come out of doors. I sha’n’t go to the fair,
where I pretended I was going. (_He retires into the alley._)
ACT THE FIFTH.
SCENE I.
_Enter DEMIPHO and CHREMES, from DEMIPHO’S house._
DEM. I do give and return hearty thanks to the Gods, and with reason,
brother, inasmuch as these matters have turned out for us so
fortunately. We must now meet with Phormio as soon as possible, before
he squanders our thirty minæ, so that we may get them from him.
_Enter PHORMIO, coming forward, and speaking aloud, as though not
seeing them._
PHOR. I’ll go see if Demipho’s at home; that as to what[83]--
DEM. (_accosting him._) Why, Phormio, we were coming to you.
PHOR. Perhaps about the very same affair. (_DEMIPHO nods assent._) I’
faith, I thought so. What were you coming to my house for? Ridiculous;
are you afraid that I sha’n’t do what I have once undertaken? Hark
you, whatever is my poverty, still, of this one thing I have taken due
care, not to forfeit my word.
CHREM. (_to DEMIPHO._) Is she not genteel-looking,[84] just as I told
you?
DEM. Very much so.
PHOR. And this is what I’m come to tell you, Demipho, that I’m quite
ready; whenever you please, give me my wife. For I postponed all my
{other} business, as was fit I should, when I understood that you were
so very desirous to have it so.
DEM. (_pointing to CHREMES._) But he has dissuaded me from giving her
to you. “For what,” says he, “will be the talk among people if you do
this? Formerly, when she might have been handsomely {disposed of},
then she wasn’t given; now it’s a disgrace for her to be turned out of
doors, a repudiated woman;” pretty nearly, {in fact}, all the reasons
which you yourself, some little time since, were urging to me.
PHOR. Upon my faith, you are treating me in a very insulting manner.
DEM. How so?
PHOR. Do you ask me? Because I shall not be able to marry the other
person {I mentioned}; for with what face shall I return to her whom
I’ve slighted?
CHREM. Then besides, I see that Antipho is unwilling to part with her.
(_Aside, prompting DEMIPHO._) Say so.
DEM. Then besides, I see that my son is very unwilling to part with
the damsel. But have the goodness to step over to the Forum, and order
this money to be transferred to my account,[85] Phormio.
PHOR. What, when I’ve paid it over to the persons to whom I was
indebted?
DEM. What’s to be done, then?
PHOR. If you will let me have her for a wife, as you promised, I’ll
take her; but if you prefer that she should stay with you, the portion
must stay with me, Demipho. For it isn’t fair that I should be misled
for you, as it was for your own sakes that I broke off with the other
woman, who was to have brought me a portion just as large.
DEM. Away with you to utter perdition, with this swaggering, you
vagabond. What, then, do you fancy we don’t know you, or your doings?
PHOR. You are provoking me.
DEM. Would you have married her, if she had been given to you?
PHOR. Try the experiment.
DEM. That my son might cohabit with her at your house, that was your
design.
PHOR. Pray, what is that you say?
DEM. Then do you give me my money?
PHOR. Nay, but do you give me my wife?
DEM. Come before a magistrate. (_Going to seize hold of him._)
PHOR. Why, really, if you persist in being troublesome----
DEM. What will you do?
PHOR. What, I? You fancy, perhaps, just now, that I am the protector
of the portionless; for the well portioned,[86] I’m in the habit {of
being so} as well.
CHREM. What’s that to us?
PHOR. (_with a careless air._) Nothing at all. I know a certain lady
here (_pointing at CHREMES’S house_) whose husband had----
CHREM. (_starting._) Ha!
DEM. What’s the matter?
PHOR. Another {wife} at Lemnos--
CHREM. (_aside._) I’m ruined!
PHOR. By whom he had a daughter; and her he is secretly bringing up.
CHREM. (_aside._) I’m {dead and} buried!
PHOR. This I shall assuredly now inform her of. (_Walks toward the
house._)
CHREM. (_running and catching hold of him._) I beg of you, don’t do
so.
PHOR. (_with a careless air._) Oh, were you the person?
DEM. What a jest he’s making {of us}.
CHREM. (_to PHORMIO._) We’ll let you off.
PHOR. Nonsense.
CHREM. What would you have? We’ll forgive you the money you’ve got.
PHOR. I hear you. Why the plague, then, do you {two} trifle with me in
this way, you silly men, with your childish speeches-- “I won’t, {and}
I will; I will, {and} I won’t,” over again: “keep it, give it me back;
what has been said, is unsaid; what had been just a bargain, is {now}
no bargain.”
CHREM. (_aside, to DEMIPHO._) In what manner, or from whom has he come
to know of this?
DEM. (_aside._) I don’t know; but that I’ve told it to no one, I know
for certain.
CHREM. (_aside._) So may the Gods bless me, ’tis as good as a miracle.
PHOR. (_aside, to himself._) I’ve graveled them.
DEM. (_apart, to CHREMES._) Well now, is he to be carrying off[87]
from us such a sum of money as this, and so palpably to impose upon
us? By heavens, I’d sooner die. Manage to show yourself of resolute
and ready wit. You see that this slip of yours has got abroad, and
that you can not now possibly conceal it from your wife; it is then
more conducive to our quiet, Chremes, ourselves to disclose what she
will be hearing from others; {and} then, in our own fashion, we shall
be able to take vengeance upon this dirty fellow.
PHOR. (_aside, to himself._) Good lack-a-day, {now’s} the
sticking-point, if I don’t look out for myself. They are making toward
me with a gladiatorial air.
CHREM. (_apart, to DEMIPHO._) But I doubt whether it’s possible for
her to be appeased.
DEM. (_apart, to CHREMES._) Be of good courage; I’ll effect a
reconciliation between you; remembering this, Chremes, that she is
dead[88] and gone by whom you had this girl.
PHOR. (_in a loud voice._) Is this the way you are going to deal with
me? Very cleverly {done}. Come on with you. By heavens, Demipho, you
have provoked me, not to his advantage (_pointing at CHREMES_). How
say you? (_addressing CHREMES_). When you’ve been doing abroad just as
you pleased, and have had no regard for this excellent lady {here},
but on the contrary, have been injuring her in an unheard-of manner,
would you be coming to me with prayers to wash away your offenses? On
telling her of this, I’ll make her so incensed with you, that you
sha’n’t quench her, though you should melt away into tears.
DEM. (_aside._) A plague may {all} the Gods and Goddesses send upon
him. That any fellow should be possessed of so much impudence! Does
not this villain deserve to be transported hence to some desolate land
at the public charge?
CHREM. (_aside._) I am brought to such a pass, that I really don’t
know what to do in it.
DEM. I know; let’s go into court.
PHOR. Into court? Here {in preference} (_pointing to CHREMES’S
house_), if it suits you in any way. (_Moves toward the house._)
DEM. (_to CHREMES._) Follow him, and hold him back, till I call out
the servants.
CHREM. (_trying to seize PHORMIO._) But I can’t by myself; run {and
help me}.
PHOR. (_to DEMIPHO, who seizes hold of him._) There’s one action of
damages against you.
CHREM. Sue him at law, then.
PHOR. {And} another with you, Chremes.
DEM. Lay hold of him. (_They both drag him._)
PHOR. Is it thus you do? Why then I must exert my voice: Nausistrata,
come out (_calling aloud_).
CHREM. (_to DEMIPHO._) Stop his mouth.
DEM. See how strong the rascal is.
PHOR. (_calling aloud._) Nausistrata, I say.
CHREM. Will you not hold your tongue?
PHOR. Hold my tongue?
DEM. (_to CHREMES, as they drag him along._) If he won’t follow, plant
your fists in his stomach.
PHOR. Or e’en gouge out an eye. The time’s coming when I shall have a
full revenge on you.
SCENE II.
_Enter NAUSISTRATA, in haste, from the house._
NAUS. Who calls my name?
CHREM. (_in alarm._) Ha!
NAUS. My husband, pray what means this disturbance?
PHOR. (_to CHREMES._) Oh, oh, why are you mute now?
NAUS. Who is this man? Won’t you answer me?
PHOR. What, he to answer you? who, upon my faith, doesn’t know where
he is.
CHREM. (_to NAUSISTRATA._) Take care how you believe that fellow in
any thing.
PHOR. (_to NAUSISTRATA._) Go, touch him; if he isn’t in a cold sweat
all over, why then kill me.
CHREM. ’Tis nothing at all.
NAUS. What is it, then, that this person is talking about?
PHOR. You shall know directly; listen {now}.
CHREM. Are you resolved to believe him?
NAUS. Pray, how can I believe him, when he has told me nothing?
PHOR. The poor creature is distracted from fright.
NAUS. It isn’t for nothing, i’ faith, that you are in such a fright.
CHREM. What, I in a fright?
PHOR. (_to CHREMES._) All right, of course: since you are not in a
fright at all, and this is nothing at all that I’m going to tell, do
you relate it.
DEM. Villain, is he to relate it at your request?
PHOR. (_to DEMIPHO._) Come now, you’ve managed nicely for your
brother.
NAUS. My husband, will you not tell me?
CHREM. But--
NAUS. But what?
CHREM. There’s no need to tell you.
PHOR. {Not} for you, indeed; but there’s need for her to know it. At
Lemnos--
CHREM. (_starting._) Ha! what are you doing?
DEM. (_to PHORMIO._) Won’t you hold your tongue?
PHOR. (_to NAUSISTRATA._) Unknown to you----
CHREM. Ah me!
PHOR. He married another----
NAUS. My {dear} sir, may the Gods forbid it!
PHOR. Such is the fact.
NAUS. Wretch that I am, I’m undone!
PHOR. And had a daughter by her, too, while you never dreamed of it.
CHREM. What are we to do?
NAUS. O immortal Gods! --a disgraceful and a wicked misdeed!
DEM. (_aside, to CHREMES._) It’s all up {with} you.
PHOR. Was ever any thing now more ungenerously done? Your men, who,
when they come to their wives, then become incapacitated from old age.
NAUS. Demipho, I appeal to you; for with that man it is irksome for me
to speak. Were these those frequent journeys and long visits at
Lemnos? Was this the lowness of prices that reduced our rents?
DEM. Nausistrata, I don’t deny that in this matter he has been
deserving of censure; but still, it may be pardoned.
PHOR. (_apart._) He is talking to the dead.
DEM. For he did this neither through neglect or aversion to yourself.
About fifteen years since, in a drunken fit, he had an intrigue with
this poor woman, of whom this girl was born, nor did he ever touch her
afterward. She is dead and gone: the {only} difficulty that remained
in this matter. Wherefore, I do beg of you, that, as in other things,
you’ll bear this with patience.
NAUS. Why {should I} with patience? I could wish, afflicted as I am,
that there were an end now of this matter. But how can I hope? Am I to
suppose that, at his age, he will not offend in future? Was he not an
old man then, if old age makes people behave themselves decently? Are
my looks and my age more attractive now, Demipho? What do you advance
to me, to make me expect or hope that this will not happen any more?
PHOR. (_in a loud voice._) Those who have[89] a mind to come to the
funeral of Chremes, why now’s their time. ’Tis thus I retaliate: come
now, let him challenge Phormio who pleases: I’ll have him
victimized[90] with just a like mischance. Why then, let him return
again into her good graces. I have now had revenge enough. She has got
something for her as long as she lives, to be forever ringing into his
ears.
NAUS. But it was because I deserved this, I suppose; why should I now,
Demipho, make mention of each particular, how I have conducted myself
toward him?
DEM. I know it all, as well as yourself.
NAUS. Does it appear, then, that I deserved this treatment?
DEM. Far from it: but since, by reproaching, it can not now be undone,
forgive him: he entreats you-- he begs your pardon-- owns his fault--
makes an apology. What would you have more?
PHOR. (_aside._) But really, before she grants pardon to him, I must
take care of myself and Phædria. (_To NAUSISTRATA._) Hark you,
Nausistrata, before you answer him without thinking, listen {to me}.
NAUS. What’s the matter?
PHOR. I got out of him thirty minæ by a stratagem. I give them to your
son; he paid them to a Procurer for his mistress.
CHREM. Ha! what is it you say?
PHOR. (_sneeringly._) Does it seem to you so very improper for your
son, a young man, to keep one mistress, {while} you {have} two wives?
Are you ashamed of nothing? With what face will you censure him?
Answer me that.
DEM. He shall do as you wish.
NAUS. Nay, that you may now know my determination. I neither forgive
nor promise any thing, nor give any answer, before I see my son: to
his decision I leave every thing. What he bids me, I shall do.
DEM. You are a wise woman, Nausistrata.
NAUS. Does that satisfy you, Chremes?
CHREM. Yes, indeed, I come off well, and fully to my satisfaction;
indeed, beyond my expectation.
NAUS. (_to PHORMIO._) Do you tell me, what is your name?
PHOR. What, mine? Phormio; a well-wisher to your family, upon my
honor, and to your {son} Phaedria in particular.
NAUS. Then, Phormio, on my word, henceforward I’ll both do and say for
you all I can, and whatever you may desire.
PHOR. You speak obligingly.
NAUS. I’ faith, it is as you deserve.
PHOR. First, then, will you do this, Nausistrata, at once, to please
me, and to make your husband’s eyes ache {with vexation}?
NAUS. With all my heart.
PHOR. Invite me to dinner.
NAUS. Assuredly indeed, I do invite you.
DEM. Let us now away in-doors.
CHREM. By all means; but where is Phaedria, our arbitrator?
PHOR. I’ll have him here just now. (_To the AUDIENCE._) Fare you well,
and grant us your applause.[91]
ADDITIONAL SCENE.
(_Which is generally considered to be spurious._)
_Enter PHÆDRIA and PHORMIO, from opposite sides of the stage._
PHÆD. Assuredly there is a God, who both hears and sees what we do.
And I do not consider that to be true which is commonly said: “Fortune
frames and fashions the affairs of mankind, just as she pleases.”
PHOR. (_aside._) Heyday! what means this? I’ve met with Socrates, not
Phædria, so far as I see. Why hesitate to go up and address him?
(_Accosting him._) How now, Phædria, whence have you acquired this new
wisdom, and derived such great delight, as you show by your
countenance?
PHÆD. O welcome, {my} friend; O most delightful Phormio, welcome!
There’s not a person in all the world I could more wish just now to
meet than yourself.
PHOR. Pray, tell me what is the matter.
PHÆD. Aye, faith, I have to beg of you, that you will listen to it. My
Pamphila is a citizen of Attica, and of noble birth, and rich.
PHOR. What is it you tell me? Are you dreaming, pray?
PHÆD. Upon my faith, I’m saying what’s true.
PHOR. Yes, and this, too, is a true saying: “You’ll have no great
difficulty in believing that to be true, which you greatly wish {to be
so}.”
PHÆD. Nay, but do listen, I beg of you, to all the wonderful things I
have to tell you of. It was while thinking of this to myself, that I
just now burst forth into those expressions which you heard-- that we,
and what relates to us, are ruled by the sanction of the Gods, {and}
not by blind chance.
PHOR. I’ve been for some time in a state of suspense.
PHÆD. Do you know Phanocrates?
PHOR. As well as {I do} yourself.
PHÆD. The rich man?
PHOR. I understand.
PHÆD. He is the father of Pamphila. Not to detain you, these were the
circumstances: Calchas was his servant, a worthless, wicked fellow.
Intending to run away from the house, he carried off this girl, whom
her father was bringing up in the country, {then} five years old, and,
secretly taking her with him to Eubæa, sold her to Lycus, a merchant.
This person, a long time after, sold her, when now grown up, to Dorio.
She, however, knew that she was the daughter of parents of rank,
inasmuch as she recollected herself being attended {and} trained up by
female servants: the name of her parents she didn’t recollect.
PHOR. How, then, were they discovered?
PHÆD. Stay; I was coming to that. This runaway was caught yesterday,
and sent back to Phanocrates: he related the wonderful circumstances I
have mentioned about the girl, and how she was sold to Lycus, and
afterward to Dorio. Phanocrates sent immediately, and claimed his
daughter; but when he learned that she had been sold, he came running
to me.
PHOR. O, how extremely fortunate!
PHÆD. Phanocrates has no objection to my marrying her; nor has my
father, I imagine.
PHOR. Trust me for that; I’ll have all this matter managed for you;
Phormio has so arranged it, that you shall not be a suppliant to your
father, but his judge.
PHÆD. You are joking.
PHOR. So it is, I tell you. Do you only {give me} the thirty minæ
which Dorio--
PHÆD. You put me well in mind; I understand you; you may have them;
for he must give them back, as the law forbids a free woman to be
sold; and, on my faith, I do rejoice that an opportunity is afforded
me of rewarding you, and taking a hearty vengeance upon him; a monster
of a fellow! he has feelings more hardened than iron.
PHOR. Now, Phædria, I return you thanks; I’ll make you a return upon
occasion, if ever I have the opportunity. You impose a heavy task upon
me, to be contending with you in good offices, as I can not in wealth;
and in affection and zeal, I must repay you what I owe. To be
surpassed in deserving well, is a disgrace to a man of principle.
PHÆD. Services badly bestowed, I take to be disservices. But I do not
know any person more grateful and more mindful {of a service} than
yourself. What is it you were just now mentioning about my father?
PHOR. There are many particulars, which at present I have not the
opportunity to relate. Let’s go in-doors, for Nausistrata has invited
me to dinner, and I’m afraid we may keep them waiting.
PHÆD. Very well; follow me. (_To the AUDIENCE._) Fare you well, and
grant us your applause.
FOOTNOTES
[Footnote 1: From δημὸς, “the people,” and φῶς “light”.]
[Footnote 2: See the Dramatis Personæ of the Andria.]
[Footnote 3: See the Dramatis Personæ of the Eunuchus.]
[Footnote 4: See the Dramatis Personæ of the Eunuchus.]
[Footnote 5: From φορμὸς, “an osier basket.”]
[Footnote 6: See the Dramatis Personæ of the Adelphi.]
[Footnote 7: See the Dramatis Personæ of the Andria.]
[Footnote 8: See the Dramatis Personæ of the Adelphi.]
[Footnote 9: From κρατὸς, “strength.”]
[Footnote 10: See the Dramatis Personæ of the Andria.]
[Footnote 11: From Doris, his country, a part of Caria.]
[Footnote 12: From ναῦς, “a ship,” and στρατὸς, “an army.”]
[Footnote 13: See the Dramatis Personæ of the Eunuchus.]
[Footnote 14: _The Roman Games_)--The “ludi Romani,” or “Roman
Games,” were first established by Ancus Marcius, and were
celebrated in the month of September.]
[Footnote 15: _Four times_)--The numerals signifying “four,”
Donatus takes to mean that this was the fourth Play composed by
Terence; it is, however, more generally supposed that the meaning
is, that it was acted four times in one year.]
[Footnote 16: _Being Consuls_)--M. Valerius Messala and C. Fannius
Strabo were Consuls in the year from the Building of the City 591,
and B.C. 162.]
[Footnote 17: _Since the old Poet_)--Ver. 1. He alludes to his old
enemy, Luscus Lavinius, who is mentioned in all his Prologues,
except those to the Hecyra.]
[Footnote 18: _While one implored_)--Ver. 8. “Et eam plorare,
orare ut subveniat sibi.” This is probably in allusion to some
absurd passage in one of the Plays of Lavinius. It is generally
supposed to mean, that the stag implores the young man; but as the
youth is mad, the absurdity, of the passage is heightened if we
suppose that he implores the stag, and, in the moment of its own
danger, entreats it to come to his own assistance; as certainly
the Latin will admit of that interpretation. --Ovid has a somewhat
similar passage in the Pontic Epistles, B. ii. Ep. ii. l. 39: “The
hind that, in its terror, is flying from the savage dogs,
hesitates not to trust itself to the neighboring house.”]
[Footnote 19: _Epidicazomenos_)--Ver. 25. A Play of Apollodorus,
so called from that Greek word, signifying “one who demands
justice from another,” in allusion to Phormio, who is the
complainant in the suit, which is the foundation of the plot.]
[Footnote 20: _Was driven from the place_)--Ver. 32. Alluding,
probably, to the disturbances which took place at the first
representation of the Hecyra, and which are mentioned in the
Prologues to that Play.]
[Footnote 21: _Davus_)--Davus is a protatic character, only
introduced for the purpose of opening the story.]
[Footnote 22: _Out of his allowance_)--Ver. 43. Donatus tells us
that the slaves received four “modii,” or measures of corn, each
month, which was called their “demensum.”]
[Footnote 23: _Will be struck_)--Ver. 48. “Ferietur.” “To strike”
a person for a present was said when it was extorted from him
reluctantly. So in the Trinummuns of Plautus, l. 247, “Ibi illa
pendentem ferit.” “Then does she strike while he is wavering.”]
[Footnote 24: _For another present_)--Ver. 48. Presents were
usually made to persons on their birthday, on the day of their
marriage, and on the birth of their children.]
[Footnote 25: _Initiate him_)--Ver. 49. It is not known what
initiation is here referred to. Madame Dacier thinks it was an
initiation into the great mysteries of Ceres, which was commonly
performed while children were yet very young; others suggest that
it means the period of weaning the child, and initiating it into
the use of another kind of diet. Donatus says, that Varro speaks
of children being initiated into the mysteries of the Deities
Edulia, Potica, and Cuba, the Divinities of Eating, Drinking, and
Sleeping.]
[Footnote 26: _Ready counted out_)--Ver. 53. “Lectum,” literally
“picked out” or “chosen”-- the coins being of full weight.]
[Footnote 27: _Have been angry with me_)--Ver. 74. He alludes to
the common belief that each person had a Genius or Guardian Deity;
and that when misfortune overtook him, he had been abandoned by
his Genius.]
[Footnote 28: _Kick against the spur_)--Ver. 78. “To kick against
the pricks,” or “in spite of the spur,” was a common Greek
proverb. The expression occurs in the New Testament, Acts ix. 5.
“It is hard for thee to kick against the pricks.”]
[Footnote 29: _To make your market_)--Ver. 79. This is a
metaphorical expression taken from traffic, in which merchants
suit themselves to the times, and fix a price on their
commodities, according to the course of the market.]
[Footnote 30: _To the school_)--Ver. 86. It was the custom for the
“lenones,” or “procurers,” to send their female slaves to
music-schools, in order to learn accomplishments. So in the
Prologue to the Rudens of Plautus: “This Procurer brought the
maiden to Cyrene hither. A certain Athenian youth, a citizen of
this city, beheld her us she was going home from the
music-school.”]
[Footnote 31: _Young man in tears_)--Ver. 92. In the Play of
Apollodorus, it was the barber himself that gave the account how
he had just returned from cutting off the young woman’s hair,
which was one of the usual ceremonies in mourning among the
Greeks. Donatus remarks, that Terence altered this circumstance
that he might not shock a Roman audience by a reference to manners
so different from their own.]
[Footnote 32: _Take out a summons_)--Ver. 127. “Dica” was the writ
or summons with which an action at law was commenced.]
[Footnote 33: _Usher to the Music-girl_)--Ver. 144. This is said
satirically of Phaedria, who was in the habit of escorting the
girl to the music-school. It was the duty of the “pædagogi,” or
“tutors,” to lead the children to school, who were placed under
their care. See the speech of Lydus, the pædagogus of Pistoclerus,
in the Bacchides of Plautus, Act iii. Sc. 3, where, enlarging upon
his duties, he mentions this among them.]
[Footnote 34: _Sever from me this connection_)--Ver. 161. By
forcing him to divorce her.]
[Footnote 35: _Neither right_)--Ver. 176. No right to get rid of
her in consequence of the judgment which, at the suit of Phormio,
has been pronounced against him; nor yet, right to keep her,
because of his father insisting upon turning her out of doors.]
[Footnote 36: _Be washing a brickbat_)--Ver. 187. “Laterem
lavare,” “to wash a brick,” or “tile,” was a proverb signifying
labor in vain, probably because (if the brick was previously
baked) it was impossible to wash away the red color of it.
According to some, the saying alluded to the act of washing a
brick which had been only dried in the sun, in which case the
party so doing both washed away the brick and soiled his own
fingers.]
[Footnote 37: _Here in reserve_)--Ver. 230. “Succenturiatus.” The
“succenturiati” were, properly, men intrusted to fill up vacancies
in the centuries or companies, when thinned by battle.]
[Footnote 38: _Let alone “authority”_)--Ver. 232. “Ac mitto
imperium.” Cicero has quoted this passage in his Epistles to
Atticus, B. ii. Ep. 19.]
[Footnote 39: _When affairs are the most prosperous_)--Ver. 241.
Cicero quotes this passage in the Third Book of his Tusculan
Questions, and the maxim here inculcated was a favorite one with
the Stoic philosophers.]
[Footnote 40: _Any giving evidence_)--Ver. 293. Slaves were
neither allowed to plead for themselves, nor to give evidence. See
the Curculio of Plautus, l. 621, and the Notes to the Andria.]
[Footnote 41: _Given her a portion_)--Ver. 297. By this remark,
Donatus observes that Terence artfully prepares us for the
imposition of Phormio, who extorts money from the old gentleman on
this very ground.]
[Footnote 42: _While you were living_)--Ver. 302. There was a law
at Athens which enacted that persons who lent money to young men
in the lifetime of their parents should have no power to recover
it. In line 303 of the Pseudolus, Plautus alludes to the
Quinavicenarian or Lætorian Law, at Rome, which forbade credit to
be given to persons under the age of twenty-five years, and
deprived the creditor of all right to recover his money or goods.]
[Footnote 43: _The woman’s next friend_)--Ver. 307. The “patronus”
was the person who undertook to conduct a lawsuit for another.]
[Footnote 44: _Salute the household Gods_)--Ver. 311. It was the
custom for those returning from a voyage or journey, to give
thanks to their household Gods for having protected them in their
absence. Thus, in the Amphitryon of Plautus, Jupiter, while
personating Amphitryon, pretends, in l. 983, that he is going to
offer sacrifice for his safe return.]
[Footnote 45: _And so you say_)--Ver. 315. Donatus tells the
following story with reference to this passage: “This Play being
once rehearsed before Terence and some of his most intimate
acquaintances, Ambivius, who acted the part of Phormio, came in
drunk, which threw the author into a violent passion; but Ambivius
had scarcely repeated a few lines, stammering and scratching his
head, before Terence became pacified, declaring that when he was
writing these very lines, he had exactly such a Parasite as
Ambivius then represented, in his thoughts.”]
[Footnote 46: _Have hashed it up_)--Ver. 318. He is thought to
allude here, figuratively, to the composition of a dish called
“moretum,” (in praise of which Virgil wrote a poem) which was
composed of garlic, onions, cheese, eggs, and other ingredients,
beaten up in a mortar. The allusion to eating is appropriately
used in an address to a Parasite.]
[Footnote 47: _Turn upon myself_)--Ver. 323. Donatus observes that
in this Scene Terence exhibits the lower order of Parasites, who
ingratiated themselves by sharping and roguery, as in the Eunuchus
he describes Parasites of a higher rank, and of a newer species,
who obtained their ends by flattery.]
[Footnote 48: _In the stocks at last_)--Ver. 325. “In nervum
crumpat denique.” There are several interpretations suggested for
these words. Some think they allude to the drawing of a bow till
it breaks; but they are more generally thought to imply
termination in corporal punishment. “Nervus” is supposed to have
been the name of a kind of stocks used in torturing slaves, and so
called from being formed, in part at least, of the sinews of
animals.]
[Footnote 49: _They will take you_)--Ver. 334. At Rome, insolvent
debtors became the slaves of their creditors till their debts were
paid.]
[Footnote 50: _To his patron_)--Ver. 338. “Regi.” The Parasites
were in the habit of calling their patron “Rex,” their “King.”]
[Footnote 51: _At free cost_)--Ver. 339. “Asymbolum.” Without
having paid his “symbola,” or “club,” for the entertainment.
Donatus informs us that the whole of this passage is borrowed from
one of Ennius, which is still preserved.]
[Footnote 52: _First to drink_)--Ver. 342. To be the first to
drink, and to take the higher place on the couch when eating, was
the privilege of the most honored guests, who usually bathed, and
were then anointed before the repast.]
[Footnote 53: _Banquet full of doubts_)--Ver. 342. “Coena dubia.”
Horace, who borrows many of his phrases from Terence, uses the
same expression.]
[Footnote 54: _Since you reign alone_)--Ver. 605. This is a remark
well put into the mouth of an Athenian, as the public were very
jealous of any person becoming paramount to the laws, and to
prevent it, were frequently guilty of the most odious oppression.]
[Footnote 55: _So many minds_)--Ver. 454. “Quot homines, tot
sententiæ.” This is a famous adage. One similar to the succeeding
one is found in the Second Eclogue of Virgil, l. 65: “Trahit sua
quemque voluptas,” exactly equivalent to our saying, “Every man to
his taste.”]
[Footnote 56: _Must deliberate further_)--Ver. 457. “Amplius
deliberandum.” This is probably a satirical allusion to the
judicial system of procrastination, which, by the Romans, was
called “ampliatio.” When the judges could not come to a
satisfactory conclusion about a cause, they signified it by the
letters N. L. (for “non liquet,” “it is not clear”), and put off
the suit for a rehearing.]
[Footnote 57: _Much more at a loss_)--Ver. 459. See the Poenulus
of Plautus, where advocates or assistants are introduced among the
Dramatic Personæ. Colman has the following remarks on this quaint
passage: “I believe there is no Scene in Comedy more highly
seasoned with the {ridiculous} than this before us. The idea is
truly comic, and it is worked up with all that simplicity and
chastity so peculiar to the manner of Terence. An ordinary writer
would have indulged himself in twenty little conceits on this
occasion; but the dry gravity of Terence infinitely surpasses, as
true humor, all the drolleries which, perhaps, even those great
masters of Comedy, Plautus or Molière, might have been tempted to
throw out. It is the highest art of a Dramatic Author, on some
occasions, to leave a good deal to the Actor; and it has been
remarked by Heinsius and others, that Terence was particularly
attentive to this circumstance.”]
[Footnote 58: _From his place of exercise_)--Ver. 484. “Palæstra.”
He alludes to the Procurer’s house under this name.]
[Footnote 59: _Befall his own safety_)--Ver. 490. Overhearing
Phædria earnest and determined, and the Procurer obstinate and
inflexible, Antipho and Geta join in apprehending that the
brutality of the latter may provoke Phædria to some act of
violence.]
[Footnote 60: _With fine words_)--Ver. 499. “Phaleratis dictis.”
“Phaleræ” were, properly, the silver ornaments with which horses
were decked out, and being only for show, and not for use, gave
rise to this saying. “Ductes” was an obscene word, and not likely
to be used by any but such characters as Dorio.]
[Footnote 61: _A wolf by the ears_)--Ver. 505. A proverbial
expression which, according to Suetonius, was frequently in the
mouth of Tiberius Cæsar.]
[Footnote 62: _A word to the wise_)--Ver. 540. “Dictum sapienti
sat est.” The same proverb is found in the Persa of Plautus,
l. 736.]
[Footnote 63: _To shake myself_)--Ver. 585. “Me excutiam.” In
reference to the custom of the Greeks, and the Eastern nations, of
shaking their clothes at the door of any house which they were
going to leave.]
[Footnote 64: _Rely on at home_)--Ver. 586. “Nam ego meorum solus
sum meus.” He means that he is the only person in his house
friendly to himself, inasmuch as his wife, from her wealth, has
supreme power over the domestics, in whom he himself can place no
trust.]
[Footnote 65: _Good terms with him_)--Ver. 635. Meaning, “Is he in
his senses or not?”]
[Footnote 66: _Amount of his life_)--Ver. 660. “Quid si animam
debet?” Erasmus tells us that this was a proverb among the Greeks
applied to those who ran so deeply in debt, that their persons,
and consequently, in one sense, their very existence, came into
the power of their creditors.]
[Footnote 67: _Six hundred actions_)--Ver. 667. “Sescentos;”
literally, “six hundred.” The Romans used this term as we do the
words “ten thousand,” to signify a large, but indefinite number.]
[Footnote 68: _A strange black dog_)--Ver. 705. This omen, Plautus
calls, in the Casina, l. 937, “canina scæva.”]
[Footnote 69: _Through the sky-light_)--Ver. 706. So in the
Amphitryon of Plautus, l. 1108, two great snakes come down through
the “impluvium,” or “sky-light.” On the subject of the
“impluvium,” see the Notes to the Miles Gloriosus of Plautus,
l. 159.]
[Footnote 70: _A hen crowed_)--Ver. 707. Donatus tells us that it
was a saying, that in the house where a hen crowed, the wife had
the upper hand.]
[Footnote 71: _The soothsayer-- the diviner_)--Ver. 708. According
to some accounts there was this difference between the “hariolus”
and the “aruspex,” that the former foretold human events, the
latter those relating to the Deities. Donatus has remarked on
these passages, that Terence seems to sneer at the superstitions
referred to.]
[Footnote 72: _Can find them now_)--Ver. 726. His Lemnian wife and
daughter. Colman remarks: “This is intended as a transition to the
next Scene; but I think it would have been better if it had
followed without this kind of introduction. The Scene itself is
admirable, and is, in many places, both affecting and comic, and
the discovery of the real character of Phanium is made at a very
proper time.”]
[Footnote 73: _My daughter’s nurse_)--Ver. 735. Among the
ancients, it was the custom for nurses who had brought up children
to remain with them in after-life.]
[Footnote 74: _Where are the ladies?_)--Ver. 748. “Ubi illæ?”
literally, “Where are these women?”]
[Footnote 75: _Run beyond the house_)--Ver. 767. “Fugias ne præter
casam.” This passage has given much trouble to the Commentators;
but it is pretty clear that the explanation of Donatus is the
correct one: “Don’t abandon your own home,” that being the safest
place. Stallbaum agrees with Gronovius in thinking that it was
first applied as a piece of advice to runaway slaves, as being
likely to become worse off by the change; probably much in the
same spirit as we say, “Out of the frying-pan into the fire.”]
[Footnote 76: _Paying by borrowing_)--Ver. 779. “Versura solvere,”
was “to pay a debt by borrowing money,” and consequently to be no
better off than before. Geta having, by the money he has procured,
freed Phædria from all danger of losing his mistress, but at the
same time having brought Antipho into still greater danger of
losing his wife.]
[Footnote 77: _Or his talking_)--Ver. 782. “Ejus” here alludes,
not to Nausistrata but to Phormio. Madame Dacier suggests that it
should be “hujus.”]
[Footnote 78: _With your money_)--Ver. 785. Colman observes:
“Alluding to the money borrowed of her to pay Phormio; and as
Donatus observes in another place, it is admirably contrived, in
order to bring about a humorous catastrophe that Chremes should
make use of his wife’s money on this occasion.”]
[Footnote 79: _Our friend’s_)--Ver. 811. Chremes himself is so
called, to deceive Nausistrata.]
[Footnote 80: _O good luck_)--Ver. 840. “Fors fortuna,” “good
fortune;” while “fortuna” merely means “chance.”]
[Footnote 81: _Throwing my cloak_)--Ver. 843. When expedition was
required, it was usual to throw the ends of the “pallium,” or
“cloak,” over the shoulders.]
[Footnote 82: _Carry me off_)--Ver. 881. Madame Dacier says that
Antipho is so rejoiced here at Geta’s news, that he jumps upon his
shoulders, and is carried off in triumph, which was a sort of
stage-trick, and was very diverting to the Audience. On this,
Colman observes: “I believe Madame Dacier has not the least
foundation for this extraordinary piece of information; and I must
confess, that I have too high an opinion, both of the Roman
audience and actors, to believe it to be true.”]
[Footnote 83: _That as to what_)--Ver. 898. Lemaire suggests that
he is about to say: “that as to what was agreed upon between us,
I may take home this young woman, and make her my wife.”]
[Footnote 84: _Is she not genteel-looking_)--Ver. 904. Patrick has
the following note here: “One can not conceive any thing more
happy or just than these words of Chremes. Demipho’s thoughts are
wholly taken up how to recover the money, and Phormio is equally
solicitous to retain it; but Chremes, who had just left his
daughter, is regardless of their discourse, and fresh from the
impressions which she had made on him, longs to know if his
brother’s sentiments of her were equally favorable, and naturally
puts this paternal question to him.”]
[Footnote 85: _Transferred to my account_)--Ver. 921. “Rescribere
argentum,” or “nummos,” meant “to transfer,” or “set down money to
the account of another person in one’s banker’s books.” A passage
in the Asinaria of Plautus, l. 445, seems to have the same
meaning.]
[Footnote 86: _For the well portioned_)--Ver. 939. Though Colman
thinks otherwise, it is pretty clear that he alludes to
Nausistrata in these words.]
[Footnote 87: _To be carrying off_)--Ver. 954. Patrick has the
following note here: “The different characters of the two brothers
are admirably preserved throughout this Scene. Chremes stands
greatly in awe of his wife, and will submit to any thing rather
than the story should come to her ears; but Demipho can not brook
the thoughts of losing so much money, and encourages his brother
to behave with spirit and resolution, promising to make up matters
between him and his wife.”]
[Footnote 88: _Dead and gone_)--Ver. 965. “E medio excedere,” was
an Euphemism signifying “to die,” which it was deemed of ill omen
to mention.]
[Footnote 89: _Those who have_)--Ver. 1025. He here uses the terms
which it was customary to employ in the celebration of a public
funeral. See also the form of proclaiming an auction, at the end
of the Menæchmi of Plautus.]
[Footnote 90: _Have him victimised_)--Ver. 1027. “Mactatus” was
the term applied to the pouring of wine and frankincense on the
victim about to be sacrificed, on which it was said to be “magis
auctus,” “increased,” or “amplified;” which, in time, became
corrupted into the word “mactatus,” or “mactus.”]
[Footnote 91: _Grant us your applause_)--Ver. 1054. Thus concludes
the last, and certainly not the least meritorious of the Plays of
our Author; indeed, for genuine comic spirit, it may challenge
comparison with the Eunuch, which is in general considered to be
the best.]
* * * * *
* * * *
* * * * *
Errors and Inconsistencies (Noted by transcriber)
The variation between “Augustin” and “Augustine” (St.) is unchanged.
Unless otherwise noted, errors found in the New York (Harper) edition
are also present in the London (Bell/Bohn) edition.
Andria:
CHREM. But how say you----? [extraneous close quote at end]
Footnote 83... She speaks of “liberæ,” “free women,”
[in Harper edn. only, second open quote missing]
Footnote 90... to tie criminals hands and feet together
[no apostrophe after ”criminals”; grammatical intent is
ambiguous]
Eunuch:
Footnote 10... From δόναξ, “a reed.” [δόνὰξ with extra accent]
Footnote 33... these words, commencing with “Sane, quia vero,”
[Harper edn. has “conmencing”]
Self-Tormentor:
CHREM. ...I opened all the casks, all the vessels;[56]
[footnote tag missing in Bell/Bohn;
Harper has extraneous close quote instead]
Adelphi:
Footnotes 14-16 --This Play [page printed without dashes in
footnotes]
DEM. {Æschinus}, if you are a man, he’ll do it.
[final period missing in Harper]
Hecyra:
Footnote 57... contradicts himself?
[Harper edn. has extraneous close quote]