"Down stairs with him," sed they both, and down I went, pooty lively for
an old man.
Just as I got to the bottom I lit on a man's head. It was Deekin PERKINS
comein' to "bust my gizzard."
"Hevings and airth," sed the Deekin as he tumbled over in the entry way.
I jumped behind a door, emejutly, and as the farmers proceeded to polish
off the Deekin, I was willin' to forgive both of 'em, as the Deekin
groaned and yelled.
Yes siree! it was soothin' fun for me, to see them farmers welt the
Deekin.
Steelin' up stairs agin, I was brushin' off my clothes, when in walks
EBENEZER.
"Sawtel," said he, ceasin' me by the cote coller and shakin' me, "Ile
larn you to rite about steelin' sugar; take that--and that," at which he
let fly his bute, and down stairs I went agin--Eben urgin' me on with
his bute.--
Suffice to say, the whole village called on me that day, and I was
kicked down stairs 32 times by the watch.--Hosswhipt by 17
wimmen--besides bein' stuck full of needles by a lot more.
I got so used to bein' kicked down stairs, that evry time a man come in
the door, I would place my back towards him and sing out:
"Kick away, my friend, I'm in the Editorial biziness to-day--to-morrow I
go hents--there's rather too much exsitement runnin' a noosepaper, and I
shall resine this evenin."
When I got home that nite, I looked like an angel carryin' a palm-leaf
fan in his hand, and clothed in purple and fine linen. My body was
purpler than a huckleberry pie, and my linen was torn into pieces finer
than a postage-stamp.
"Sarved you rite, you old fool," said Mrs. GREEN, as she stood rubbin'
camfire onto me. "In ritin' noosepaper articles, editors orter name
their man. A shoe which hain't bilt for anybody in particular, will get
onto evrybody in general's foot. When it does, the bilder had better get
ready for numerous bootin's, from that self-same shoe."
Between you and I, PUNCHINELLO, MARIAH is about 1/2 rite. Too-rally
ewers.