_Johnny_.--Yes, you may offer your arm to your pretty cousin in the
country whenever you think she would like it, except when Mr.
PUNCHINELLO is present. If that gallant gentleman is at hand, escort
duty may, with perfect propriety, be left to him.
_Charles_ inquires whether his handwriting is good enough to qualify him
for membership in a base ball club. We think he is all right on that
score.
_Glaucus._--We have never heard that Newport is a good place for
gathering sea-shells, but we presume you can shell out there if you
wish.
_Chapeau_.--Hats will be worn on the head this season. It is not
considered stylish to hang them on the ear, eyebrow, or coat collar.
_Cit._--The correct dimensions of a Saratoga pocket-book have not been
definitely decided. As to sending it, it is doubtful whether the
rail-road companies would receive it as baggage. Perhaps you could
charter a canal boat.
_Aspirant_.--We cannot tell you the price of "bored" in Washington "for
a few weeks." No doubt you could get liberally bored at a reasonable
rate.
_Sorosis_--It was very wrong for your husband to mention the muddy
coffee. However, we advise you to attempt a settlement of such troubles
without creating a public scandal.
_Butcher Boy_.--You cannot succeed as a writer of "lite comidy" if you
continue to weave such tragic spells. "The Lean Larder" would not be an
attractive title for your play.
_C. Drincarty_ submits the following problem: If one swallow don't make
a summer, how many claret punches can a man take before fall? Will some
of our ingenious readers offer a suitable solution?
_Culturist_.--The potato has been grafted with great success on the
cucumber tree in some of the Western States. The stock should be heated
by a slow fire until the sap starts. The grafts should be boiled in a
preparation known to science as vanilla cream.
_Truth_.--Your information is not authentic. LOUIS NAPOLEON never played
marbles in Central Park, nor took his little Nap in the vestibule of
WOOD'S Museum.
_Fanny_ inquires whether "ballot girls" are wanted in New York. Wyoming
is a better field for them than this city.
_Maine Chance_ has been paying his _devoirs_ with great impartiality to
two young ladies. One of them has red hair and a Roman nose, but the
paternal income is very handsome. The other is witty and pretty, but can
bring no rocks, except possibly "Rock the cradle." Recently he called on
the golden girl, and a menial rudely repulsed him from the door. This
hurt his feelings. He then went to the dwelling of the Fair, when a big
dog attacked him "on purpose," and lacerated his trousers. He wants to
know whether he has any remedy in the courts. His best way is the way
home.
_Rifleman_.--You are right; the rival guns--the Dreyse and the
Chassepot--are also rifle-guns. Both of them are provided with needles,
as you suppose, but, so far as there is any chance of their being put to
the test under present circumstances, in Europe, it rather appears that
both of them will prove Needless.
_Piscator_.--No; the weak-fish is not so called on account of any
supposed feebleness attributable to it. If you take a round of the
markets one of these roaring hot days, your senses will tell you that
the weakfish is sometimes very strong.
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