THE CORRECT FORMS OF VISITING CARDS, INVITATIONS, ETC.
VISITING CARDS
=Gentlemen's Cards.=--Plain, cream white, thin cardboard, no ornaments,
no fancy writing. Use simple engraved script, printed in black. Size of
card, 3 × 1½ inches.
+----------------------------------------+
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| _+Mr. Edward Hale Davies,+ |
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| 2010 Wheeler Avenue._ |
+----------------------------------------+
Use sparingly titles or "handles" to your name, such as Hon., General,
Colonel, Dr. Army titles ought not really to be used when the bearer
has not seen real service. If he is, or has been, in the regular army,
he should have his visiting card read as follows:
+--------------------------------------------+
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| _+Col. Hugh Dalrymple, U. S. A.,+ |
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| Calumet Club._ |
+--------------------------------------------+
A physician had better use for his "private," not "professional," card
the following form:
+--------------------------------------------+
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| _+George D. Smith, M. D.,+ |
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| 1703 Michigan Boulevard._ |
+--------------------------------------------+
It is better form still to omit lettering occupations altogether. The
abbreviation Rev. is allowable in front of a clergyman's name, even if
followed by the letters D.D.
Do not forget, if you are neither an officer, nor a clergyman, nor a
medical practitioner, to prefix your name by Mr. Should you, however,
desire to write your name on a card to "send up" to the person you are
calling on, omit the Mr.
Cards are "due"--that is, must be delivered in person--to the host
and hostess--one for each, after having enjoyed their hospitality at
some formal function, dinner, ball, musicale, etc. If prevented from
calling, a note must accompany the cards and be sent by messenger. Such
cards are also "due" after a first invitation which you have been
obliged to decline. These formal calls must be made within a week after
the event.
Cards may be sent "by mail" in acknowledgment of an invitation to a
church wedding; or, with the mention "congratulations" written by hand
to one whose engagement is announced, or who is the father of a newly
born baby. Cards of condolence, with the written words "with deepest
sympathy," may be mailed (but, better, left in person) in cases of
sorrow or bereavement.
Men rarely exchange cards, nowadays. However, a visitor in your
city may be welcomed at his hotel by the cards of acquaintances
that may have been half forgotten. Then, if he cares to renew the
erstwhile intercourse, he calls or returns the cards. After formal
"stag-parties," if a guest is not an intimate friend, it would be good
form for him to leave a card at his entertainer's club or residence.
In large cities this is done quite generally, as people there are
more formal in their social ways. It is well, at all times, for one
to remember that "courtesy in little things is a sure sign of good
breeding."
=Ladies' Cards.=--As to color, printing, etc., the rules relating to
gentlemen's visiting cards are to be followed. The size of a lady's
card is fixed just now by custom at about 3⅛ × 2¼ inches.
If the lady is the oldest married woman in the oldest branch of the
family she may omit any Christian name on her card; thus:
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| _+Mrs. Stewart,+ |
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| 25 Astor Place_. |
+------------------------------------------+
In any other case her card must contain her husband's full name, thus:
+--------------------------------------+
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|_+Mrs. James Gold Stewart,+ |
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| 25 Astor Place._ |
+--------------------------------------+
During the first year of married life--i. e., during the period when
husband and wife, just returned from their honeymoon trip, are calling
together upon their friends and society acquaintances, they will use
the following card; the day, in the left corner, indicating when they
will be at home to their friends:
+--------------------------------------+
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| _+Mr. and Mrs. James Gold Stewart,+ |
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| _Mondays. 25 Astor Place._ |
+--------------------------------------+
Otherwise, it is usual when the wife returns formal calls, and does so
alone, for her to leave with her own card two of her husband's, one
each for the lady and gentleman of the house she is visiting. If there
are young ladies, in the house, who are already "out"--i. e., received
in society, she will add one more of her own cards.
Young ladies are not supposed to use cards, at least until they are out
of their teens. When they are "out," their names are added on their
mother's card.
After the young lady has been "in society" at least two seasons she may
have her personal visiting cards, but without address. In that case the
elder or eldest daughter of the family uses the family name without
Christian name.
+--------------------------------------+
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| _+Mrs. James Gold Stewart,+ |
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| The Misses Stewart |
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| 25 Astor Place_. |
+--------------------------------------+
+--------------------------------------+
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| _Miss Stewart._ |
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+--------------------------------------+
The younger daughters prefix their Christian name to the family name.
The day of the week when the lady is "at home" to her friends in the
afternoon is inserted in the left-hand corner of the card. Sometimes
the lady prefers to limit these receptions to certain days, then the
card reads:
+--------------------------------------------+
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|_+Mrs. James Gold Stewart,+ |
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| First and Third |
| Fridays in January, 25 Astor Place. |
| February and March._ |
+--------------------------------------------+
=Mourning Visiting Cards=, with a black border of varied breadth,
according to nearness of relationship, are very properly used, sizes
and styles being otherwise identical. However, it is in bad taste to
inscribe a reception day on a mourning card, as one is supposed to
decline all calls except from intimate friends. In fact, mourning cards
are mostly used to return thanks "by mail" to people sending condolence
cards.
=Cards of Introduction.=--Ordinary visiting cards are used for that
purpose, with the addition of some such words written at the bottom:
_Introducing Archibald Monroe, Esq._
Such cards must be enclosed in an envelope addressed to the person to
whom the introduction is made, but left open when delivered to the
person one wants to introduce.
INVITATION CARDS
=Cards for Social Functions.=--These are specially engraved for the
occasion, a good size being about 4 × 2½ inches; cream white Bristol
board, absolutely plain engraving. On the left-hand corner the object
of the invitation is stated: _Music_, for a musicale; _Dancing_, for a
dancing party, etc.
+---------------------------------------+
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| _+Mrs. James Gold Stewart,+ |
| At Home, |
| Tuesday Evening, February Second. |
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| Music. 25 Astor Place._ |
+---------------------------------------+
If the function is given in honor of some distinguished guest, the
invitation is generally worded as follows:
+--------------------------------------+
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| _+Mr. and Mrs. James Gold Stewart+ |
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| request the pleasure of |
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| .............................'s |
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| company on Tuesday evening, |
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| February Second, at nine o'clock. |
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| +Lord Willoughby d'Eresby+, |
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| British Ambassador to Washington. |
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| R. S. V. P. 25 Astor Place._ |
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+--------------------------------------+
The name of the guest is written with pen on the dotted line. The
letters R. S. V. P. stand for the French words, "Repondez, s'il vous
plait," meaning in English: "Answer, if you please."
Of course, a reply is to be returned at once.
Here is the most usually employed form for an invitation to dinner.
The name and date are to be filled by hand. In that way one engraved
plate is enough for all dinner parties. Another card, worded the same,
with "luncheon" inserted in place of "dinner," and the hour changed to
"half-past one," is the "correct thing" for invitations to a luncheon.
+--------------------------------------+
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| _+Mr. and Mrs. James Gold Stewart+ |
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| request the pleasure of |
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| ...........................'s |
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| company at dinner on ............. |
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| ..................at seven o'clock. |
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| R. S. V. P. 25 Astor Place._ |
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+--------------------------------------+
For such an important function as a "ball"--i. e., a dancing party on
a particularly elaborate scale--double sheets of thick, medium size,
cream white note, are generally used; the hour must not be earlier than
9:30, and on the lower left corner the words "Dancing at Eleven" are
to be inserted. Sometimes the hostess adds: "Fancy dress de rigueur";
meaning that all the guests are expected to appear in fancy costumes.
=Wedding Cards.=--Ought to be issued by the bride's family at least two
weeks before the wedding takes place.
If it is to be a church wedding the following invitation on a double
sheet of note paper is correct:
+----------------------------------------+
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| _+Mr. and Mrs. Edward Hall+ |
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| request your presence |
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| at the marriage of their daughter |
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| +Eleanor Augusta+ |
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| to |
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| +Mr. George Gordon Lewis+ |
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| Saturday morning, June first |
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| at twelve o'clock |
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| St. Margaret Church._ |
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+----------------------------------------+
A more formal invitation to a wedding reception is engraved thus and
printed on a double sheet note of paper.
+--------------------------------------------+
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|_+Mr. and Mrs. James Allen Stanton+ |
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| have the honour of announcing |
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| the marriage of their daughter, |
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| +Marietta Bland Davidson,+ |
| to |
| +Mr. Edward Taylor White,+ |
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| on Thursday, January third |
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| nineteen hundred and one. |
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| +Church of the Incarnation,+ |
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| Buffalo, New York. |
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| +At Home+ |
| after February fifteenth, |
| Omaha, Nebraska._ |
+--------------------------------------------+
In the same envelope a select number of friends should receive the
following additional invitation on a card:
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| _+Reception+ |
| from half-past twelve |
| until three o'clock. |
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| 1001 Pine Avenue._ |
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+--------------------------------------------+
Should it be expected that the general public might crowd the church to
the point of inconvenience, a small, neat, engraved card may be added
to the two others, worded as follows:
+--------------------------------------------+
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| _Please present this card at |
| St. Margaret Church, |
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| Saturday, June first, |
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| at twelve o'clock._ |
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+--------------------------------------------+
For a silver or golden wedding an invitation on note paper will be
correct if worded as follows, and engraved without any flourishes:
+--------------------------------------------+
| +-----------+ |
| _1871. |Monogram. | 1896. |
| +-----------+ |
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| +Mr. and Mrs. Henry Winthrop Dale+, |
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| at home |
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| Tuesday, June twelfth, |
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| from four until six, |
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| and from nine until eleven o'clock. |
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| 3051 Elm Street._ |
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+--------------------------------------------+
WEDDING ANNIVERSARIES
The first anniversary is called the cotton wedding.
The second, the paper wedding.
The third, the leather wedding.
The fifth, the wooden wedding.
The seventh, the woolen wedding.
The tenth, the tin wedding.
The twelfth, the silk and fine linen wedding.
The thirteenth, the pearl wedding.
The fifteenth, the crystal wedding.
The twentieth, the china wedding.
The twenty-fifth, the silver wedding.
The fiftieth, the golden wedding.
The seventy-fifth, the diamond wedding.
LEAVE-TAKING
It is customary, although not quite as generally done as formerly, to
leave or mail visiting cards to all one's mere acquaintances (friends
being notified by visit or letter), when about to either change one's
habitual residence or undertake a journey of some duration. Ordinary
visiting cards are used with the letters P. P. C. written on the
left-hand corner. These are the initials of the French phrase, "Pour
prendre congé," meaning "To take leave." The custom is commendable. A
separate card ought to be sent for each grown-up member of the family.
NOTIFICATION OF BIRTHS AND FUNERALS
Sometimes, to announce to acquaintances the arrival of a little
stranger, a tiny card is engraved with the baby's name and the date of
his birth, thus:
+---------------------------------------------------+
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| _Harold Jay Stewart, |
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| May first. 25 Astor Place._ |
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+---------------------------------------------------+
Or a notification by the parents may be sent, engraved on note paper.
The proper thing, in either case, is to return cards with the word
"congratulations" written on the left-hand corner.
Invitations to funerals are engraved on heavily black-bordered note
paper, and may be worded as follows, although there are no strict rules
in the matter:
+--------------------------------------------+
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| _You are respectfully invited |
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| to attend the funeral of |
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| Mr. Edward Deene Harrison, |
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| to take place from his late residence, |
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| 2013 Michigan boulevard, |
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| Monday, June eighteenth, |
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| at three o'clock. |
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| -------- |
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| Service at Grace Episcopal church. |
| Burial at Roseland cemetery._ |
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+--------------------------------------------+
Roman Catholics generally add, at the bottom, R. I. P. (Latin:
"Requiescat in pace"), meaning, "May he rest in peace."