The instant we saw the diligence momma declared that if she had to sit
anywhere but in the middle of it she would remain in Chiavenna until
next day. Mrs. Portheris was of the same mind. She said that even the
_intérieur_ would be dangerous enough going down hill, but if the
Senator would sit there too she would try not to be nervous. The _coupé_
was terrifying--one saw everything the poor dear horses did--and as to
the _banquette_ she could imagine herself flying out of it, if we so
much as went over a stone. As a party we were strangers to the
diligence; we had all the curiosity and hesitation about it, as Dicky
remarked, of the animals when Noah introduced them to the Ark. I asked
Dicky to describe the diligence for the purpose of this volume, thinking
that it might, here and there, have a reader who had never seen one, and
he said that, as soon as he had made up his mind whether it was most
like a triumphal chariot in a circus procession or a boudoir car in an
ambulance, he would; but then his eyes wandered to Isabel, who was
pinker than ever in the mountain air, and his reasoning faculties left
him. A small German with a very red nose, most incoherent in his
apparel--he might have been a Baron or again a hair-dresser--already
occupied one of the seats in the _intérieur_, so after our elders had
been safely deposited beside him the _banquette_ and the _coupé_ were
left, as Mrs. Portheris said, to the adventurous young people. Dicky and
I had conspired, for the sustained effect on Mrs. Portheris, to sit in
the _banquette_, while Isabel was to suffer Mr. Mafferton in the
_coupé_--an arrangement which her mother viewed with entire complacency.
"After all," said Mrs. Portheris to momma, "we're not in Hyde Park--and
young people will be young people." We had not counted, however, with
the Senator, who suddenly realised, as Dicky was handing me up, that it
was his business, in the capacity of Doge, to interfere. It is to his
credit that he found it embarrassing, on account of his natural, almost
paternal, dislike to make things unpleasant for Dicky. He assumed a
sternly impenetrable expression, thought about it for a moment, and then
approached Mr. Mafferton.
"I'd be obliged to you," he said, "if you could arrange, without putting
yourself out any, to change places with young Dod, there, as far as St.
Moritz. I have my reasons--but not necessarily for publication. See?"
Mr. Mafferton's eye glistened with appreciation of the confidence
reposed in him. "I shall be most happy," he said, "if Dod doesn't mind."
But Dicky, with indecent haste, was already in the _coupé_. "Don't
mention it, Mafferton," he said out of the window. "I'm delighted--at
least--whatever the Senator says has got to be done, of course," and he
made an attempt to look hurt that would not have imposed upon anybody
but a self-constituted Doge with a guilty conscience. I took my
bereavement in stony calm, with possibly just a suggestion about my
eyebrows and under-lip that some day, on the far free shores of Lake
Michigan, a downtrodden daughter would re-assert herself; poppa
re-entered an _intérieur_ darkened by a thunder-cloud on the brow of his
Aunt Caroline; and we started.
It was some time before Mr. Mafferton interfered in the least with the
Engadine. He seemed wrapped in a cloud of vain imaginings, sprung,
obviously, from poppa's ill-considered request. I understood his
emotions and carefully respected his silence. I was unwilling to be
instructed about the Engadine either botanically or geologically--it was
more agreeable not to know the names of the lovely little foreign
flowers, and quite pleasant enough that every turn in the road showed us
a white mountain or a purple one without having to understand what it
was made of. Besides, I particularly did not wish to precipitate
anything, and there are moments when a mere remark about the weather
will do it. I had been suffering a good deal from my conscience since
Mrs. Portheris had told me that poppa had written to Arthur--I didn't
mind him enduring unnumbered pangs of hope deferred, but it was quite
another thing that he should undergo the unnecessary martyrdom of
imagining that he had been superseded by Dicky Dod. On reflection, I
thought it would be safer to start Mr. Mafferton on the usual lines, and
I nerved myself to ask him whether he could tell me anything about the
prehistoric appearance of these lovely mountains.
"I am glad," he responded absently, "that you admire my favourite Alps."
Nothing more. I tried to prick him to the consideration of the scenery
by asking him which were his favourite Alps, but this also came to
nothing. Having acknowledged his approval of the Alps, he seemed willing
to let them go unadorned by either fact or fancy. I offered him
sandwiches, but he seemed to prefer his moustache. Presently he roused
himself.
"I'm afraid you must think me very uninteresting, Miss Wick," he said.
"Dear me, no," I replied. "On the contrary, I think you are a lovely
type."
"Type of an Englishman?" Mr. Mafferton was not displeased.
"Type of some Englishmen. You would not care to represent the--ah,
commercial classes?"
"If I had been born in that station," replied Mr. Mafferton modestly, "I
should be very glad to represent them. But I should _not_ care to be a
Labour candidate."
"It wouldn't be very appropriate, would it?" I suggested. "But do you
ever mean to run for anything, really?"
"Certainly not," Mr. Mafferton replied, with slight resentment. "In our
family we never run. But, of course, I will succeed my uncle in the
Upper House."
"Dear me!" I exclaimed. "So you will! I should think it would be simply
lovely to be born a legislator. In our country it is attained by such
painful degrees." It flashed upon me in a moment why Mr. Mafferton was
so industrious in collecting general information. He was storing it up
against the day when he would be able to make speeches, which nobody
could interrupt, in the House of Lords.
The conversation flagged again, and I was driven to comment upon the
appearance of the little German down in the _intérieur_. It was quite
remarkable, apart from the bloom on his nose, his pale-blue eyes
wandered so irresponsibly in their sockets, and his scanty, flaxen beard
made such an unsuccessful effort to disguise the amiability of his chin.
He wore a braided cotton coat to keep cool, and a woollen comforter to
keep warm, and from time to time he smilingly invited the attention of
the other three to vast green maps of the country, which I could see him
apologising for spreading over Mrs. Portheris's capacious lap. It was
interesting to watch his joyous sense of being in foreign society, and
his determination to be agreeable even if he had to talk all the time.
Now and then a sentence bubbled up over the noise of the wheels, as when
he had the happiness to discover the nationalities of his
fellow-travellers.
"Ach, is it so? From England, from America also, and I from Markadorf
am! Four peoples, to see zis so beautiful Switzerland from everyveres in
one carriage we are come!" He smiled at them one after another in the
innocent joy of this wonderful fact, and it made me quite unhappy to see
how unresponsive they had grown.
"In America I haf one uncle got----"
"No, I don't know him," said the Senator, who was extremely tired of
being expected to keep up with society in Castle Garden.
"But before I vas born going, mein uncle I myself haf never seen! To
Chicago mit nossings he went, und now letters ve are always getting it
is goot saying."
"Made money, has he?" poppa inquired, with indifference.
"Mit some small flours of large manufacture selling. Dose small
flours--ze name forgotten I haf--ze breads making, ze cakes making, ze
mädschen----"
"Baking powder!" divined momma.
"Bakings--powder! In America it is moch eat. So mine uncle Blittens----"
"Josef Blittens?" exclaimed poppa.
"Blittens und Josef also! The name of mine uncle to you is known! He is
so rich, mit carriage, piano, large family--he is now famous also, hein?
My goot uncle!"
"He's been my foreman for fifteen years," said poppa, "and I don't care
where he came from; he's as good an American now as there is in the
Union. I am pleased to make the acquaintance of any member of his
family. There's nothing in the way of refreshments to be got till we
next change horses, but as soon as that happens, sir, I hope you will
take something."
After that we began to rattle down the other side of the Julier and I
lost the thread of the conversation, but I saw that Herr Blittens'
determination to practise English was completely swamped in the
Senator's desire to persuade him of the advantages of emigration.
"I never see a foreigner in his native land," said Mr. Mafferton,
regarding this one with disapproval, "without thinking what a pity it is
that any portion of the earth, so desirable for instance as this is,
should belong to him." Which led me to suggest that when he entered
political life in _his_ native land Mr. Mafferton should aim at the
Cabinet, he was obviously so well qualified to sustain British
traditions.
My companion's mind seemed to be so completely diverted by this prospect
that I breathed again. He could be depended upon I knew, never to think
seriously of me when there was an opportunity of thinking seriously of
himself, and in that certainty I relaxed my efforts to make it quite
impossible that anything should happen. I forgot the contingencies of
the situation in finding whiter glaciers and deeper gorges, and looking
for the Bergamesque sheep and their shepherds which Baedeker assured us
were to be seen pasturing on the slopes and heights of the Julier
wearing long curling locks, mantles of brown wool, and peaked Calabrian
hats. We grew quite frivolous over this phenomenon, which did not
appear, and it was only after some time that we observed the Baedeker to
be of 1877, and decided that the home of truth was not in old editions.
It seemed to me afterwards that Mr. Mafferton had been waiting for his
opportunity; he certainly took advantage of a very insufficient one.
"It's exactly," said I, talking of the compartments of the diligence,
"as if Isabel and Dicky had the first floor front, momma and poppa the
dining room, and you and I the second floor back."
It was one of those things that one lives to repent if one survives them
five seconds; but my remorse was immediately swallowed up in
consequences. I do not propose to go into the details of Mr. Mafferton's
second attempt upon my insignificant hand--to be precise, I wear fives
and a quarter--but he began by saying that he thought we could do better
than that, meaning the second floor back, and he mentioned Park Lane. He
also said that ever since Dicky, doubtless before his affections had
become involved, had told him that there was a possibility of my
changing my mind--I was nearly false to Dicky at this point--he had been
giving the matter his best consideration, and he had finally decided
that it was only fair that I should have an opportunity of doing so.
These were not his exact words, but I can be quite sure of my
impression. We were trotting past the lake at Maloja when this came upon
me, and when I reflected that I owed it about equally to poppa and to
Dicky Dod I felt that I could have personally chastised them--could have
slapped them--both. What I longed to do with Mr. Mafferton was to hurl
him, figuratively speaking, down an abyss, but that would have been to
send him into Mrs. Portheris's beckoning arms next morning, and I had
little faith in any floral hat and pink bun once its mamma's commands
were laid upon it. I thought of my cradle companion--not tenderly, I
confess--and told Mr. Mafferton that I didn't know what I had done to
deserve such an honour a second time, and asked him if he had properly
considered the effect on Isabel. I added that I fancied Dicky was
generalising about American girls changing their minds, but I would try
and see if I had changed mine and would let him know in six days, at
Harwich. Any decision made on this side of the Channel might so easily
be upset. And this I did knowing quite well that Dicky and Isabel and I
were all to elope from Boulogne, Dicky and Isabel for frivolity and I
for propriety; for this had been arranged. In writing a description of
our English tour I do not wish to exculpate myself in any particular.
We arrived late at St. Moritz, and the little German, on a very
fraternal footing, was still talking as the party descended from the
_intérieur_. He spoke of the butterflies the day before in Pontresina,
and he laughed with delight as he recounted.
"Vorty maybe der vas, vifty der vas, mit der diligence vlying along; und
der brittiest of all I catch; he _vill_ come at my nose"