fine that even the black smoke would not rest upon it, there bloomed the
roses of Early Death. Hot-house flowers!
The Chain Gang
It is far, far down in the southland, and I am back again, thanks be, in
the land of wind and snow, where life lives. But that was in the days
when I was a wretched thing, that crept and crawled, and shrunk when the
wind blew, and feared the snow. So they sent me away down there to the
world of the sun, where the wind and the snow are afraid. And the sun
was kind to me, and the soft air that does not move lay around me like
folds of down, and the poor creeping life in me winked in the light and
stared out at the wide caressing air; stared away to the north, to the
land of wind and rain, where my heart was,--my heart that would be at
home.
Yes, there, in the tender south, my heart was bitter and bowed, for the
love of the singing wind and the frost whose edge was death,--bitter and
bowed for the strength to bear that was gone, and the strength to love
that abode. Day after day I climbed the hills with my face to the north
and home. And there, on those southern heights, where the air was resin
and balm, there smote on my ears the sound that all the wind of the
north can never sing down again, the sound I shall hear till I stand at
the door of the last silence.
Cling--clang--cling--From the Georgian hills it sounds; and the snow and
the storm cannot drown it,--the far-off, terrible music of the Chain
Gang.
I met it there on the road, face to face, with all the light of the sun
upon it. Do you know what it is? Do you know that every day men run in
long procession, upon the road they build for others' safe and easy
going, bound to a chain? And that other men, with guns upon their
shoulders, ride beside them--with orders to kill if the living links
break? There it stretched before me, a serpent of human bodies, bound to
the iron and wrapped in the merciless folds of justified cruelty.
Clank--clink--clank--There was an order given. The living chain divided;
groups fell to work upon the road; and then I saw and heard a miracle.
Have you ever, out of a drowsy, lazy conviction that all knowledges, all
arts, all dreams, are only patient sums of many toils of many millions
dead and living, suddenly started into an uncanny consciousness that
knowledges and arts and dreams are things more real than any living
being ever was, which suddenly reveal themselves, unasked and unawaited,
in the most obscure corners of soul-life, flashing out in prismatic
glory to dazzle and shock all your security of thought, toppling it with
vague questions of what is reality, that you cannot silence? When you
hear that an untaught child is able, he knows not how, to do the works
of the magicians of mathematics, has it never seemed to you that
suddenly all books were swept away, and there before you stood a superb,
sphinx-like creation, Mathematics itself, posing problems to men whose
eyes are cast down, and all at once, out of whim, incorporating itself
in that wide-eyed, mysterious child? Have you ever felt that all the
works of the masters were swept aside in the burst of a singing voice,
unconscious that it sings, and that Music itself, a master-presence, has
entered the throat and sung?
No, you have never felt it? But you have never heard the Chain Gang
sing!
Their faces were black and brutal and hopeless; their brows were low,
their jaws were heavy, their eyes were hard; three hundred years of the
scorn that brands had burned its scar upon the face and form of
Ignorance,--Ignorance that had sought dully, stupidly, blindly, and been
answered with that pitiless brand. But wide beyond the limits of high
man and his little scorn, the great, sweet old Music-Soul, the chords of
the World, smote through the black man's fibre in the days of the making
of men; and it sings, it sings, with its ever-thrumming strings, through
all the voices of the Chain Gang. And never one so low that it does not
fill with the humming vibrancy that quivers and bursts out singing
things always new and new and new.
I heard it that day.
The leader struck his pick into the earth, and for a moment whistled
like some wild, free, living flute in the forest. Then his voice floated
out, like a low booming wind, crying an instant, and fell; there was the
measure of a grave in the fall of it. Another voice rose up, and lifted
the dead note aloft, like a mourner raising his beloved with a kiss. It
drifted away to the hills and the sun. Then many voices rolled forward,
like a great plunging wave, in a chorus never heard before, perhaps
never again; for each man sung his own song as it came, yet all blent.
The words were few, simple, filled with a great plaint; the wail of the
sea was in it; and no man knew what his brother would sing, yet added
his own without thought, as the rhythm swept on, and no voice knew what
note its fellow voice would sing, yet they fell in one another as the
billow falls in the trough or rolls to the crest, one upon the other,
one within the other, over, under, all in the great wave; and now one
led and others followed, then it dropped back and another swelled
upward, and every voice was soloist and chorister, and never one seemed
conscious of itself, but only to sing out the great song.
And always, as the voices rose and sank, the axes swung and fell. And
the lean white face of the man with the gun looked on with a stolid,
paralyzed smile.
Oh, that wild, sombre melody, that long, appealing plaint, with its hope
laid beyond death,--that melody that was made only there, just now,
before me, and passing away before me! If I could only seize it, hold
it, stop it from passing! that all the world might hear the song of the
Chain Gang! might know that here, in these red Georgian hills, convicts,
black, brutal convicts, are making the music that is of no man's
compelling, that floods like the tide and ebbs away like the tide, and
will not be held--and is gone, far away and forever, out into the abyss
where the voices of the centuries have drifted and are lost!
Something about Jesus, and a Lamp in the darkness--a gulfing darkness.
Oh, in the mass of sunshine must they still cry for light? All around
the sweep and the glory of shimmering ether, sun, sun, a world of sun,
and these still calling for light! Sun for the road, sun for the stones,
sun for the red clay--and no light for this dark living clay? Only heat
that burns and blaze that blinds, but does not lift the darkness!
"And lead me to that Lamp----"
The pathetic prayer for light went trembling away out into the luminous
gulf of day, and the axes swung and fell; and the grim dry face of the
man with the gun looked on with its frozen smile. "So long as they sing,
they work," said the smile, still and ironical.
"A friend to them that's got no friend"--Man of Sorrows, lifted up upon
Golgotha, in the day when the forces of the Law and the might of Social
Order set you there, in the moment of your pain and desperate accusation
against Heaven, when that piercing "Eloi, Eloi, lama sabachthani?" went
up to a deaf sky, did you presage this desolate appeal coming to you out
of the unlived depths of nineteen hundred years?
Hopeless hope, that cries to the dead! Futile pleading that the cup may
pass, while still the lips drink! For, as of old, Order and the Law, in
shining helmets and gleaming spears, ringed round the felon of Golgotha,
so stand they still in that lean, merciless figure, with its shouldered
gun and passive smile. And the moan that died within the Place of Skulls
is born again in this great dark cry rising up against the sun.
If but the living might hear it, not the dead! For these are dead who
walk about with vengeance and despite within their hearts, and scorn for
things dark and lowly, in the odor of self-righteousness, with
self-vaunting wisdom in their souls, and pride of race, and iron-shod
order, and the preservation of Things that Are; walking stones are
these, that cannot hear. But the living are those who seek to know, who
wot not of things lowly or things high, but only of things wonderful;
and who turn sorrowfully from Things that Are, hoping for Things that
May Be. If these should hear the Chain Gang chorus, seize it, make all
the living hear it, see it!
If, from among themselves, one man might find "the Lamp," lift it up!
Paint for all the world these Georgian hills, these red, sunburned
roads, these toiling figures with their rhythmic axes, these brutal,
unillumined faces, dull, groping, depth-covered,--and then unloose that
song upon their ears, till they feel the smitten, quivering hearts of
the Sons of Music beating against their own; and under and over and
around it, the chain that the dead have forged clinking between the
heart-beats!
Clang--cling--clang--ng--It is sundown. They are running over the red
road now. The voices are silent; only the chain clinks.
The Heart of Angiolillo
Some women are born to love stories as the sparks fly upward. You see it
every time they glance at you, and you feel it every time they lay a
finger on your sleeve. There was a party the other night, and a
four-year old baby who couldn't sleep for the noise crept down into the
parlor half frightened to death and transfixed with wonderment at the
crude performances of an obtuse visitor who was shouting out the woes of
Othello. One kindly little woman took the baby in her arms and said:
"What would they do to you, if you made all that noise."--"Whip me,"
whispered the child, her round black eyes half admiration and half
terror, and altogether coquettish, as she hid and peered round the
woman's neck. And every man in the room forthwith fell in love with her,
and wanted to smother his face in the bewitching rings of dark hair that
crowned the dainty head, and carry her about on his shoulders, or get
down on his hands and knees to play horse for her, or let her walk on
his neck, or obliterate his dignity in any other way she might prefer.
The boys tolerated their fathers with a superior "huh!" Fourteen or
fifteen years from now they will be playing the humble cousin of the
horse before the same little ringed-haired lady, and having sported Nick
Bottom's ears to no purpose, half a dozen or so will go off and hang
themselves, or turn monk, or become "bold, bad men," and revenge
themselves on the sex. But her conquests will go on, and when those
gracious rings are white as snow the children of those boys will follow
in their grandfathers' and fathers' steps and dangle after her, and make
drawings on their fly leaves of that sweet kiss-cup of a mouth of hers,
and call her their elder sister, and other devotional names. And the
other girls of her generation, who were not born with that marvelous
entangling grace in every line and look, will dread her and spite her,
and feel mean satisfaction when some poor fool does swallow laudanum on
her account. Smiles of glacial virtue will creep over their faces like
slippery sunshine, when one by one her devotees come trailing off to
them to say that such a woman could never fill a man's heart nor become
the ornament of his hearthstone; the quiet virtues that wear, are all
their desire; of course they have just been studying her character and
that of the foolish men who dance her attendance, but even those are not
doing it with any serious motives. And the neglected girls will serve
him with home-made cake and wine which he will presently convert into
agony in that pearl shell ear of hers. And all the while the baby will
have done nothing but be what she was born to be through none of her own
choosing, which is her lot and portion; and that is another thing the
gods will have to explain when the day comes that they go on trial
before men; which is the real day of judgment.
But this isn't the baby's story, which has yet to be made, but the story
of one who somehow received a wrong portion. Some inadvertent little
angel in the destiny shop took down her name when the heroine of a
romance was called for, and put her where she shouldn't have been, and
then ran off to play no doubt, not stopping to look twice. For even the
most insouciant angel that looked twice would have seen that Effie was
no woman to play the game of hearts, and there's only one thing more
undiscerning than an angel, and that is a social reformer. Effie ran up
against both.
They say she had blood in her girlhood, that it shone red and steady
through that thin, pure skin of hers; but when I saw her, with her
nursing baby in her arms, down in the smutching grime of London, there
was only a fluctuant blush, a sort of pink ghost of blood, hovering back
and forth on her face. And that was for shame of the poverty of her neat
bare room. Not that she had ever known riches. She was the daughter of
Scotch peasants, and had gone out to service when she was still a child;
her chest was hollowed in and her back bowed with that unnatural labor.
There was no gloss on the pale sandy hair, no wilding tendrils clinging
round the straight smooth forehead, no light of coquetry or grace in the
glimmering blue eyes, no beauty in her at all, unless it lay in the
fine, hard sculptured line of her nose and mouth and chin when she
turned her head sideways. You could read in that line that having spoken
a word to her heart, she would not forget it nor unsay it; and if it
took her down into Gethsemane, she would never cry out though by all
forsaken.
And that was where it had taken her then. Some ready condemner of all
that has been tried for less than a thousand years, will say it was
because she had the just reward of those who, holding that love is its
own sanction and that it cannot be anything but degraded by seeking
permissions from social authorities, live their love lives without the
consent of Church and State. But you and I know that the same dark
garden has awaited the woman whose love has been blessed by both, and
that many such a life lamp has flickered out in a night as profound as
poverty and utter loneliness could make it. So if it was justice to
Effie, what is it to that other woman? In truth, justice had nothing to
do with it; she loved the wrong man, that was all; and married or
unmarried, it would have been the same, for a formula doesn't make a
man, nor the lack of it unmake him. The fellow was superior in
intellect. It is honesty only which can wring so much from those who
knew them both, for as to any other thing she sat as high over him as
the stars are. Not that he was an actively bad man; just one of those
weak, uncertain, tumbling about characters, having sense enough to know
it is a fine thing to stand alone, and vanity enough to want the name
without the game, and cowardice enough to creep around anything stronger
than itself, and hang there, and spread itself about, and say, "Lo, how
straight am I!" And if the stronger thing happens to be a father or a
brother or some such tolerant piece of friendly, self-sufficient energy,
he amuses himself awhile, and finally gives the creeper a shake and
says, "Here, now, go hang on somebody else if you can't stand alone",
and the world says he should have done it before. But if it happens to
be a mother or a sister or a wife or a sweetheart, she encourages him to
think he is a wonderful person, that all she does is really his own
merit, and she is proud and glad to serve him. If after a while she
doesn't exactly believe it any more, she says and does the same; and the
world says she is a fool,--which she is. But if, in some sudden spurt of
masculine self-assertiveness, she decides to fling him off, the world
says she is an unwomanly woman,--which again she is; so much the better.
Effie's creeper dabbled in literature. He wanted to be a translator and
several other things. His appearance was mild and gentlemanly, even
super-modest. He always spoke respectfully of Effie, and as if
momentously impressed with a sense of duty towards her. They had started
out to realize the free life together, and the glory of the new ideal
had beckoned them forward. So no doubt he believed, for a pretender
always deceives himself worse than anybody else. But still, at that
particular period, he used to droop his head wearily and admit that he
had made a great mistake. It was nobody's fault but his own, but of
course--Effie and he were hardly fitted for each other. She could not
well enter into his hopes and ambitions, never having had the
opportunity to develop when she was younger. He had hoped to stimulate
her in that direction, but he feared it was too late. So he said in a
delicate and gentlemanly way, as he went from one house to the other,
and was invited to dinner and supper and made himself believe he was
looking for work. Effie, meanwhile, was taking home boys' caps to make,
and worrying along incredibly on bread and tea, and walking the streets
with the baby in her arms when she had no caps to make.
Of course when a man drinks other people's teas a great many times, and
sits in their houses, and borrows odd shillings now and then, and
assumes the gentleman, he is ultimately brought to the necessity of
asking some one to tea with him; so one spring night the creeper
approached Effie rather dubiously with the statement that he had asked
two or three acquaintances to come in the next evening, and he supposed
she would need to prepare tea. The girl was just fainting from
starvation then, and she asked him wearily where he thought she was to
get it. He cast about a while in his pusillanimous way for things that
_she_ might do, and finally proposed that she pawn the baby's
dress,--the white dress she had made from one of her own girlhood
dresses, and the only thing it had to wear when she took it out for air.
That was the limit, even for Effie. She said she would take anything of
her own if she had it, but not the baby's; and she turned her face to
the wall and clung to the child.
When the tea-time came next day she went out with the baby and walked up
and down the surging London streets looking in the windows and crushing
back tears. What the creeper did with his guests she never knew, for she
did not return till long after dusk, when she was too weary to wander
any more, and she found no one there but himself and a dark stranger,
who spoke little and with an Italian accent, but who measured her with
serious, intense eyes. He listened to the creeper, but he looked at her;
she was quite fagged out and more bloodless than ever as she sat
motionless on the edge of the bed. When he went away he lifted his hat
to her with the grace of an old time courtier, and begged her pardon if
he had intruded. Some days after that he came in again, and brought a
toy for the baby, and asked her if he might carry the child out a little
for her; it looked sickly shut up there, but he knew it must be heavy
for her to carry. The creeper suddenly discovered that he could carry
the baby.
All this happened in the days when a pious queen sat on the throne of
Spain. With eyes turned upward in much holiness, she failed to see the
things done in her prisons, or hear the groans that rose up from the
"zero" chamber in the fortress of Montjuich, though all Europe heard,
and even in America the echo rang. While she told her beads her minister
gave the order to "torture the Anarchists"; and scarred with red-hot
irons, maimed and deformed and maddened with the nameless horrors that
the good devise to correct the bad, even unto this day the evidences of
that infamous order live. But two men do not live,--the one who gave the
order, and the one who revenged it.
It happened one night, in April, that Effie and the creeper and their
sometime visitor met all three in one of those long low smothering
London halls where many movements have originated, which in their
developed proportions have taken possession of the House of Commons, and
even stirred the dust in the House of Lords. There was a crowd of
excited people talking all degrees of sense and nonsense in every
language of the continent. Letters smuggled from the prison had been
received; new tales of torture were passing from mouth to mouth; fresh
propositions to arouse a general protest from civilization were bubbling
up with the anger of every indignant man and woman. Drifting to the
buzzing knots Effie heard some one translating: it was the letter of the
tortured Noguès, who a month later was shot beneath the fortress wall.
The words smote her ears like something hot and stinging:
"You know I am one of the three accusers (the other two are Ascheri and
Molas) who figure in the trial. I could not bear the atrocious tortures
of so many days. On my arrest I spent eight days without food or drink,
obliged to walk continually to and fro or be flogged; and as if that
did not suffice, I was made to trot as though I were a horse trained
at the riding school, until worn with fatigue I fell to the ground.
Then the hangmen burnt my lips with red-hot irons, and when I declared
myself the author of the attempt they replied, 'You do not tell the
truth. We know that the author is another one, but we want to know
your accomplices. Besides you still retain six bombs, and along with
little Oller you deposited two bombs in the Rue Fivaller. Who are your
accomplices?'
"In spite of my desire to make an end of it I could not answer anything.
Whom should I accuse since all are innocent? Finally six comrades were
placed before me, whom I had to accuse, and of whom I beg pardon. Thus
the declarations and the accusations that I made.... I cannot finish;
the hangmen are coming.
--Noguès."
Sick with horror Effie would have gone away, but her feet were like
lead. She heard the next letter, the pathetic prayer of Sebastian
Sunyer, indistinctly; the tortures had already seared her ears, but the
crying for help seemed to go up over her head like great sobs; she felt
herself washed round, sinking, in the desperate pain of it. The piteous
reiteration, "Listen you with your honest hearts," "you with your pure
souls," "good and right-minded people," "good and right-feeling people,"
wailed through her like the wild pleading of a child who, shrieking
under the whip "Dear papa, good, sweet papa, please don't whip me,
please, please," seeks terror-wrung flattery to escape the lash. The
last cry, "Aid us in our helplessness; think of our misery," made her
quiver like a reed. She walked away and sat down in a corner alone; what
could she do, what could any one do? Miserable creature that she was
herself, her own misery seemed so worthless beside that prison cry. And
she thought on, "Why does he want to live at all, why does any one want
to live, why do I want to live myself?"
After a while the creeper and his friend came to her, and the latter sat
down beside her, undemonstrative as usual. At the next buzz in the room
they two were left alone. She looked at him once as she said, "What do
you think the people will do about it?"
He glanced at the crowd with a thin smile: "Do? Talk."
In a little time he said quietly: "It does you no good here. I will take
you home and come back for David afterward." She had no idea of
contradicting him; so they went out together. At the threshold of her
room he said firmly, "I will come in for a few minutes; I have to speak
to you."
She struck a light, put the baby on the bed, and looked at him
questioningly. He had sat down with his back against the wall, and with
rigidly folded arms stared straight ahead of him. Seeing that he did not
speak, she said softly, falling into her native dialect, as all Scotch
women do when they feel most: "I canna get thae poor creetyer's cries
oot o' ma head. It's no human."
"No," he said shortly, and then with a sudden look at her, "Effie, what
do you think love is?"
She answered him with surprised eyes and said nothing. He went on: "You
love the child, don't you? You do for it, you serve it. That shows you
love it. But do you think it's love that makes David act as he does to
you? If he loved you, would he let you work as you work? Would he live
off you? Wouldn't he wear the flesh off his fingers instead of yours? He
doesn't love you. He isn't worth you. He isn't a bad man, but he isn't
worth you. And you make him less worth. You ruin him, you ruin yourself,
you kill the child. I can't see it any more. I come here, and I see you
weaker every time, whiter, thinner. And I know if you keep on you'll
die. I can't see it. I want you to leave him; let me work for you. I
don't make much, but enough to let you rest. At least till you are well.
I would wait till you left him of yourself, but I can't wait when I see
you dying like this. I don't want anything of you, except to serve you,
to serve the child because it's yours. Come away, to-night. You can have
my room; I'll go somewhere else. To-morrow I'll find you a better place.
You needn't see him any more. I'll tell him myself. He won't do
anything, don't be afraid. Come." And he stood up.
Effie had sat astonished and dumb. Now she looked up at the dark tense
eyes above her, and said quietly, "I dinna understand."
A sharp contraction went across the strong bent face: "No? You don't
understand what you are doing with yourself? You don't understand that I
love you, and I can't see it? I don't ask you to love me; I ask you to
let me serve you. Only a little, only so much as to give you health
again; is that too much? You don't know what you are to me. Others love
beauty, but I--I see in you the eternal sacrifice; your thin fingers
that always work, your face--when I look at it, it's just a white
shadow; you are the child of the people, that dies without crying. Oh,
let me give myself for you. And leave this man, who doesn't care for
you, doesn't know you, thinks you beneath him, uses you. I don't want
you to be his slave any more."
Effie clasped her hands and looked at them; then she looked at the
sleeping baby, smoothed the quilt, and said quietly: "I didna take him
the day to leave him the morra. It's no my fault if ye're daft aboot
me."
The dark face sharpened as one sees the agony in a dying man, but his
voice was very gentle, speaking always in his blurred English: "No,
there is no fault in you at all. Did I accuse you?"
The girl walked to the window and looked out. Some way it was a relief
from the burning eyes which seemed to fill the room, no matter that she
did not look at them. And staring off into the twinkling London night,
she heard again the terrible sobs of Sebastian Sunyer's letter rising
up and drowning her with its misery. Without turning around she said,
low and hard, "I wonder ye can thenk aboot thae things, an' yon deils
burnin' men alive."
The man drew his hand across his forehead. "Would you like to hear that
they,--one,--the worst of them, was dead?"
"I thenk the worl' wadna be muckle the waur o't," she answered, still
looking away from him. He came up and laid his hand on her shoulder.
"Will you kiss me once? I'll never ask again." She shook him off: "I
dinna feel for't." "Good-bye then. I'll go back for David." And he
returned to the hall and got the creeper and told him very honestly what
had taken place; and the creeper, to his credit be it said, respected
him for it, and talked a great deal about being better in future to the
girl. The two men parted at the foot of the stairs, and the last words
that echoed through the hallway were: "No, I am going away. But you will
hear of me some day."
Now, what went on in his heart that night no one knows; nor what
indecision still kept him lingering fitfully about Effie's street a few
days more; nor when the indecision finally ceased; for no one spoke to
him after that, except as casual acquaintances meet, and in a week he
was gone. But what he did the whole world knows; for even the Queen of
Spain came out of her prayers to hear how her torturing prime minister
had been shot at Santa Agueda, by a stern-faced man, who, when the
widow, grief-mad, spit in his face, quietly wiped his cheek, saying,
"Madam, I have no quarrel with women." A few weeks later they garrotted
him, and he said one word before he died,--one only, "Germinal."
Over there in the long low London hall the gabbling was hushed, and some
one murmured how he had sat silent in the corner that night when all
were talking. The creeper passed round a book containing the history of
the tortures, watching it jealously all the while, for said he,
"Angiolillo gave it to me himself; he had it in his own hands."
Effie lay beside the baby in her room, and hid her face in the
pillow to keep out the stare of the burning eyes that were
dead; and over and over again she repeated, "Was it my fault,
was it my fault?" The hot summer air lay still and smothering,
and the immense murmur of the city came muffled like thunder
below the horizon. Her heart seemed beating against the walls
of a padded room. And gradually, without losing consciousness,
she slipped into the world of illusion; around her grew the
stifling atmosphere of the torture-chamber of Montjuich, and the
choked cries of men in agony. She was sure that if she looked up
she should see the demoniac face of Portas, the torturer. She
tried to cry, "Mercy, mercy," but her dry lips clave. She had
a whirling sensation, and the illusion changed; now there was
the clank of soldiers' arms, a moment of insufferable stillness
as the garrotte shaped itself out of the shadows in her eyes,
then loud and clear, breaking the sullen quiet like the sharp
ringing of a storm-bringing wind, "Germinal." She sprang up: the
long vibration of the bell of St. Pancras was waving through
the room; but to her it was the prolongation of the word,
"Germ-inal-l-l--germinal-l-l--" Then suddenly she threw out her
arms in the darkness, and whispered hoarsely, "Ay, I'll kiss ye
the noo."
An hour later she was back at the old question, "Was it my fault?"
Poor girl, it is all over now, and all the same to the grass that roots
in her bone, whether it was her fault or not. For the end that the man
who had loved her foresaw, came, though it was slow in the coming. Let
the creeper get credit for all that he did. He stiffened up in a year or
so, and went to Paris and got some work; and there the worn little
creature went to him, and wrote to her old friends that she was better
off at last. But it was too late for that thin shell of a body that had
starved so much; at the first trial she broke and died. And so she
sleeps and is forgotten. And the careless boy-angel who mixed all these
destinies up so unobservantly has never yet whispered her name in the
ear of the widowed Lady Canovas del Castillo.
Nor will the birds that fly thither carry it now; for _it was not
"Effie."_
The Reward of an Apostate
I have sinned: and I am rewarded according to my sin, which was great.
There is no forgiveness for me; let no man think there is forgiveness
for sin: the gods cannot forgive.
This was my sin, and this is my punishment, that I forsook my god to
follow a stranger--only a while, a very brief, brief while--and when I
would have returned there was no more returning. I cannot worship any
more,--that is my punishment; I cannot worship any more.
Oh, that my god will none of me? That is an old sorrow! My god was
Beauty, and I am all unbeautiful, and ever was. There is no grace in
these harsh limbs of mine, nor was at any time. I, to whom the glory of
a lit eye was as the shining of stars in a deep well, have only dull and
faded eyes, and always had; the chiseled lip and chin whereover runs the
radiance of life in bubbling gleams, the cup of living wine was never
mine to taste or kiss. I am earth-colored, and for my own ugliness sit
in the shadow, that the sunlight may not see me, nor the beloved of my
god. But, once, in my hidden corner, behind the curtain of shadows, I
blinked at the glory of the world, and had such joy of it as only the
ugly know, sitting silent and worshiping, forgetting themselves and
forgotten. Here in my brain it glowed, the shimmering of the dying sun
upon the shore, the long gold line between the sand and sea, where the
sliding foam caught fire and burned to death. Here in my brain it shone,
the white moon on the wrinkling river, running away, a dancing ghost
line in the illimitable night. Here in my brain rose the mountain
curves, the great still world of stone, summit upon summit sweeping
skyward, lonely and conquering. Here in my brain, my little brain,
behind this tiny ugly wall of bone stretched over with its dirty yellow
skin, glittered the far high blue desert with its sand of stars, as I
have watched it, nights and nights, alone, hid in the shadows of the
prairie grass. Here rolled and swelled the seas of corn, and blossoming
fields of nodding bloom; and flower-flies on their hovering wings went
flickering up and down. And the quick spring of lithe-limbed things went
scattering dew across the sun; and singing streams went shining down the
rocks, spreading bright veils upon the crags.
Here in my brain, my silent unrevealing brain, were the eyes I loved,
the lips I dared not kiss, the sculptured heads and tendriled hair. They
were here always in my wonder-house, my house of Beauty, the temple of
my god. I shut the door on common life and worshiped here. And no
bright, living, flying thing, in whose body Beauty dwells as guest, can
guess the ecstatic joy of a brown, silent creature, a toad-thing,
squatting on the shadowed ground, self-blotted, motionless, thrilling
with the presence of All-Beauty, though it has no part therein.
But the gods are many. And once a strange god came to me. Sharp upon the
shadowy ground he stood, and beckoned me with knotted fingers. There was
no beauty in his lean figure and sunken cheeks; but up and down the
muscles ran like snakes beneath his skin, and his dark eyes had somber
fires in them. And as I looked at him, I felt the leap of prisoned
forces in myself, in the earth, in the air, in the sun; all throbbed
with the pulse of the wild god's heart. Beauty vanished from my
wonder-house; and where his images had been I heard the clang and roar
of machinery, the forging of links that stretched to the sun, chains for
the tides, chains for the winds; and curious lights went shining through
thick walls as through air, and down through the shell of the world
itself, to the great furnaces within. Into those seething depths, the
god's eyes peered, smiling and triumphing; then with an up-glance at the
sky and a waste-glance at me, he strode off.
This is my great sin, for which there is no pardon: I followed him, the
rude god Energy; followed him, and in that abandoned moment swore to be
quit of Beauty, which had given me nothing, and to be worshiper of him
to whom I was akin, ugly but sinuous, resolute, daring, defiant, maker
and breaker of things, remoulder of the world. I followed him, I would
have run abreast with him; I loved him, not with that still ecstasy of
flooding joy wherewith my own god filled me of old, but with impetuous,
eager fires, that burned and beat through all the blood-threads of me.
"I love you, love me back," I cried, and would have flung myself upon
his neck. Then he turned on me with a ruthless blow, and fled away over
the world, leaving me crippled, stricken, powerless, a fierce pain
driving through my veins--gusts of pain!--And I crept back into my old
cavern, stumbling, blind and deaf, only for the haunting vision of my
shame and the rushing sound of fevered blood.
The pain is gone. I see again; I care no more for the taunt and blow of
that fierce god who was never mine. But in my wonder-house it is all
still and bare; no image lingers on the blank mirrors any more. No
singing bell floats in the echoless dome. Forms rise and pass; but
neither mountain curve nor sand nor sea, nor shivering river, nor the
faces of the flowers, nor flowering faces of my god's beloved, touch
aught within me now. Not one poor thrill of vague delight for me, who
felt the glory of the stars within my finger tips. It slips past me like
water. Brown without and clay within! No wonder now behind the ugly
wall; an empty temple! I cannot worship, I cannot love, I cannot care.
All my life-service is unweighed against that faithless hour of my
forswearing.
It is just; it is the Law; I am forsworn, and the gods have given me the
Reward of An Apostate.
At the End of the Alley
It is a long narrow pocket opening on a little street which runs like a
tortuous seam up and down the city, over there. It was at the end of the
summer; and in summer, in the evening, the mouth of the pocket is hard
to find, because of the people, in it and about, who sit across the
passage, gasping at the dirty winds that come loafing down the street
like crafty beggars seeking a hole to sleep in--like mean beggars,
bereft of the spirit of free windhood. Down in the pocket itself the air
is quite dead; one feels oneself enveloped in a scum-covered pool of it,
and at every breath long filaments of invisible roots, swamp-roots, tear
and tangle in your floundering lungs.
I had to go to the very end, to the bottom of the pocket. There, in the
deepest of these alley-holes, lives the woman to whom I am indebted for
the whiteness of this waist I wear. How she does it, I don't know;
poverty works miracles like that, just as the black marsh mud gives out
lilies.
At the very last door I knocked, and presently a man's voice, weak and
suffocated, called from a window above. I explained.--"There's a chair
there; sit down. She'll be home soon." And the voice was caught in a
cough.
This, then, was the consumptive husband she had told me of! I looked up
at the square hole dimly outlined in the darkness, whence the cough
issued, and suddenly felt a horrible pressure at my heart and a curious
sense of entanglement, as if all the invisible webs of disease had
momentarily acquired a conscious sense of prey within their clutch, and
tightened on it like an octopus. The haunting terror of the unknown, the
dim horror of an inimic Presence, recoil before the merciless creeping
and floating of an enemy one cannot grasp or fight, repulsive turning
from a Thing that has reached behind while you have been seeking to face
it, that is there awaiting you with the frightful ironic laughter of the
Silence--all this swept round and through me as I stared up through the
night.
Up there on the bed he was lying, he who had been meshed in the fatal
web for three long years--and was struggling still! In the darkness I
felt his breath draw.
The sharp barking of a dog came as a relief. I turned to the broken
chair, and sat down to wait. The alley was hemmed in by a high wall, and
from the farther side of it there towered up four magnificent old trees,
whose great crowns sent down a whispering legend of vanished forests and
the limitless sweep of clean air that had washed through them, long ago,
and that would never come again. How long, how long since those far days
of purity, before the plague spot of Man had crept upon them! How strong
those proud old giants were that had not yet been strangled! How
beautiful they were! How mean and ugly were the misshapen things that
sat in the doorways of the foul dens that they had made, chattering,
chattering, as ages ago the apes had chattered in the forest! What
curious beasts they were, with their paws and heads sticking out of the
coverings they had twisted round their bodies--chattering, chattering
always, and always moving about, unable to understand the still strong
growths of silence.
So a half hour passed.
At last I saw a parting in the group of bodies across the entrance of
the pocket, and a familiar weary figure carrying a basket, coming down
the brickway. She stopped half way where a widening of the alley
furnished the common drying place, and a number of clothes lines crossed
and recrossed each other, casting a net of shadows on the pavement;
after a glance at the sky, which had clouded over, she sighed heavily
and again advanced. In the sickly light of the alley lamp the rounded
shoulders seemed to droop like an old crone's. Yet the woman was still
young. That she might not be startled, I called "Good evening."
The answer was spoken in that tone of forced cheerfulness which the
wretched always give to their employers; but she sank upon the step with
the habitual "My, but I'm glad to sit down," of one who seldom sits.
"Tired out, I suppose. The day has been so hot."
"Yes, and I've got to go to work and iron again till eleven o'clock, and
it's awful hot in that kitchen. I don't mind the washing so much in
summer; I wash out here. But it's hot ironing. Are you in a hurry?"
I said no, and sat on. "How much rent do you pay?" I asked.
"Seven dollars."
"Three rooms?"
"Yes."
"One over the other?"
"Yes. It's an awful rent, and he won't fix anything. The door is half
off its hinges, and the paper is a sight."
"Have you lived here long?"
"Over three years. We moved here before he got sick.
I don't keep nothing right now, but it used to be nice. It's so quiet
back here away from the street; you don't hear no noise. That fence
ought to be whitewashed. I used to keep it white, and everything clean.
And it was so nice to sit out here in summer under them trees. You could
just think you were in the park."
A curious wonder went through me. Somewhere back in me a voice was
saying, "To him that hath shall be given, and from him that hath not, it
shall be taken away even that which he hath." This horrible pool had
been "nice" to her! Again I felt the abyss seizing me with its
tentacles, and high overhead in the tree-crowns I seemed to hear a
spectral mockery of laughter.
"Yes," I forced myself to say, "they are splendid trees. I wonder they
have lived so long."
"'Tis funny, aint it? That's a great big yard in there; the man that
used to own it was a gardener, and there's a lot of the curiousest
flowers there yet. But he's dead now, and the folks that's got it don't
keep up nothing. They're waiting to sell it, I suppose."
Above, over our heads, the racking cough sounded again. "Aint it
terrible?" she murmured. "Day and night, day and night; he don't get no
rest, and neither do I. It's no wonder some people commits suicide."
"Does he ever speak of it?" I asked. Her voice dropped to a
semi-whisper. "Not now so much, since the church people's got hold of
him. He used to; I think he'd a done it if it hadn't been for them. But
they've been kind o' talkin' to him lately, and tellin' him it wouldn't
be right,--on account of the insurance, you know."
My heart gave a wild bound of revolt, and I shut my teeth fast. O man,
man, what have you made of yourself! More stupid than all the beasts of
the earth, for a dole of the things you make to be robbed of,
living,--to be robbed of and poisoned with--you consent to the death
that eats with a million mouths, eats inexorably. You submit to
unnamable torture in the holy name of--Insurance! And in the name of
Insurance this miserable woman keeps alive the bones of a man!
I took my bundle and went. And all the way I felt myself tearing through
the tendrils of death that hung and swayed from the noisome wall, and
caught at things as they passed. And all the way there pressed upon me
pictures of the skeleton and the woman, clothed in firm flesh, young and
joyous, and thrilling with the love of the well and strong. Ah, if some
one had said to her then, "Some day you will slave to keep him alive
through fruitless agonies, that for your last reward you may take the
price of his pain"!
II.--ALONE
I was wrong. I thought she wanted the insurance money, but I
misunderstood her. I found it out one wild October day more than a year
later, when for the second time I sought the end of the alley.
The sufferer had "suffered out"; the gaunt and wasted shell of the man
lay no more by the window in the upper story. The woman was free. "Rest
at last," I thought, "for both of them."
But it was not as I thought.
I expected ease to come into the woman's drawn face, and relaxation to
her stooping figure. But something else came upon both, something quite
unwonted and inexplicable; a wandering look in the eyes, a stupid drop
to the mouth, an uncertainty in her walk, as of one who is half minded
to go back and look for something. There was, too, an irritating
irregularity in the performance of her work, which began to be annoying.
At last, on that October day, this new unreliability reached the limit
of provocation. I was leaving the city; I needed my laundry, needed it
at once; and here it was four o'clock in the afternoon, the train due at
night, and packing impossible till the wash came. It was five days
overdue.
The wind was howling furiously, the rain driving in sheets, but there
was no alternative; I must get to the "End of the Alley" and back,
somehow.
The gray, rain-drenched atmosphere was still grayer in the
alley,--still, still grayer at the end. And what with the gray of it and
the rain of it, I could scarcely see the thing that sat facing me when I
opened the door,--a sort of human blur, hunched in a rocking-chair, its
head sunken on its breast.
In response to my startled exclamation, the face was lifted vacantly for
a second, and then dropped again. But I had seen: drunk, dead drunk!
And this woman had never drunk.
I looked around the wretched room. By the window, where the gray light
trailed in, stood a table covered with unwashed dishes; some late flies
were crawling in the gutters of slop, besotted derelicts of insects,
stupidly staggering up and down the cracked china. On the stove stood a
number of flat-irons, but there was no fire. A mass of unironed clothes
lay on an old couch and over the backs of two unoccupied chairs. On the
wall above the couch, hung the portrait of the dead man.
I walked to the slumping figure in the rocker, and with ill-contained
brutality demanded: "So this is why you did not bring my clothes! Where
are they?"
I heard my own voice cutting like the edge of a knife, and felt
half-ashamed when that weak, shaking thing lifted up its foolish face,
and stared at me with watery, uncomprehending eyes.
"My clothes," I reiterated; "are they here or upstairs?"
"Guess-s-so," stammered the uncertain voice, "g-guess so."
"Nothing for it but to find them myself," I muttered, beginning the
search through the pile on the couch. Nothing of mine there, so I needs
must climb to the Golgotha on the second floor, from which the Cross had
disappeared, but which still bore traces of its victim's long
crucifixion,--a pair of old bed-slippers still by the window, a
sleeping-cap on the wall. Some cannot but leave so the things that have
touched their dead.
One by one I found the "rough-dry" garments, here, there, in the
hallway, in the garret, hanging or crumpled up among dozens of others.
And all the while I hunted, the rain beat and the wind blew, and a low
third sound kept mingling with them, rising from the lower floor. My
heart smote me when I heard it, for I knew it was the woman sobbing. The
self-righteous Pharisee within me gave an impatient sneer: "Alcohol
tears!" But something else clutched at my throat, and I found myself
glancing at the dead man's shoes.
When I went downstairs, I avoided the rocking-chair, tied up my bundle,
counted out the money, laid it on the table, and then turning round
said, deliberately and harshly: "There is your money; don't buy whisky
with it, Mrs. Bossert."
Crying had a little sobered her. She looked up, still with less light in
her face than in an intelligent dog's, but with some dim
self-consciousness. It was as a face that had appeared behind deforming
bubbles of water. She half lifted her hand, let it fall, and stammered,
"No, I won't, I won't. It don't do nobody no good."
The senseless desire to preach seized hold of me. "Mrs. Bossert," I
cried out, "aren't you ashamed of yourself? A woman like you, who went
through so much, and so long, and so bravely! And now, when you could
get along all right, to act like this!"
The soggy mouth dropped open, the glazy eyes stared at me, fixedly and
foolishly, then shifted to the portrait on the wall; and with a mawkish
simper, as of some old drab playing sixteen, she slobbered out, nodding
to the portrait: "All--for the love--o' him."
It was so utterly ludicrous that I laughed. Then a cold rage took me:
"Look here," I said (and again I heard my own voice, grim and quiet,
cutting the air like a whip), "if you believe, as I have heard you say,
that your husband can look down on you from anywhere, remember you
couldn't do a thing to hurt him worse than you're doing now. 'Love'
indeed!"
The lash went home. The stricken figure huddled closer; the voice came
out like a dumb thing's moan: "Oh--I'm all alone."
Then suddenly I understood. I had taken it for mockery, and profanation,
that leering look at the shadow on the wall, that driveling stammer,
"All--for the love--o' him." And it had been a solemn thing! No lover's
word spoken in the morning of youth with the untried day before it,
under the seductive witchery of answering breath and kisses, rushing
blood and throbbing bodies; but the word of a woman bent with service,
seamed with labor, haggard with watching; the word of a woman who, at
the washtub, had kept her sufferer by the work of her hands, and watched
him between the snatches of her sleep. The immemorial passion of a
common heart, that _is_ not much, that _had_ not much, and has lost
all. Years were in it. For years she had had her burden to carry; and
she had carried it to the edge of the grave. There it had fallen from
her, and her arms were empty. Nothing to do any more. Alone.
She sat up suddenly with a momentary flare of light in her face.--"As
long as I had him," she said, "I could do. I thought I'd be glad when he
was gone, a many and many a time. But I'd rather he was up there yet....
I did everything. I didn't put him away mean. There was a hundred and
twenty-five dollars insurance. I spent it all on him. He was covered
with flowers."
The flare died down, and she fell together like a collapsing bag. I saw
the gray vacancy moving inward toward the last spark of intelligence in
her eyes, as an ashing coal whitens inward toward the last dull red
point of fire. Then this heap of rags shuddered with an inhuman whine,
"A-l-o-n-e."
In the crowding shadows I felt the desolation pressing me like a vise.
Behind that sunken heap in the chair gathered a midnight specter; for a
moment I caught a flash from its royal, malignant eyes, the Monarch of
human ruins, the murderous Bridegroom of widowed souls, King Alcohol.
"After all, as well that way as another," I muttered; and aloud (but the
whip-cord had gone out of my voice), "The money is on the table."
She did not hear me; the Bridegroom "had given His Beloved Sleep."
I went out softly into the wild rain, and overhead, among the lashing
arms of the leafless trees, and around the alley pocket, the wind was
whining: "A-l-o-n-e."
To Strive and Fail
There was a lonely wind crying around the house, and wailing away
through the twilight, like a child that has been refused and gone off
crying. Every now and then the trees shivered with it, and dropped a few
leaves that splashed against the windows like big, soft tears, and then
fell down on the dark, dying grass, and lay there till the next wind
rose and whirled them away. Rain was gathering. Close by the gray patch
of light within the room a white face bent over a small table, and
dust-dim fingers swept across the strings of a zither. The low, pathetic
opening chords of Albert's "Herbst-Klage" wailed for a moment like the
wind; then a false note sounded, and the player threw her arms across
the table and rested her face upon them. What was the use? She knew how
it ought to be, but she could never do it,--never make the strings
strike true to the song that was sounding within, sounding as the wind
and the rain and the falling leaves sounded it, as long ago the wizard
Albert had heard and conjured it out of the sound-sea, before the little
black notes that carried the message over the world were written. The
weary brain wandered away over the mystery of the notes, and she
whispered dully, "A sign to the eye, and a sound to the ear--and that is
his gift to the world--his will--and he is dead, dead, dead;--he was so
great, and they are so silly, those little black foolish dots--and yet
they are there--and by them his soul sings--"
The numb pain at her heart forced some sharp tears from the closed eyes.
She bent and unbent her fingers hopelessly, two or three times, and then
let them lie out flat and still. It was not their fault, not the
fingers' fault; they could learn to do it, if they only had the chance;
but they could never, never have the chance. They must always do
something else, always a hundred other things first, always save and
spare and patch and contrive; there was never time to do the thing she
longed for most. Only the odd moments, the unexpected freedoms, the
stolen half-hours, in which to live one's highest dream, only the
castaway time for one's soul! And every year the fleeting glory waned,
wavered, sunk away more and more sorrowfully into the gray, soundless
shadows of an unlived life. Once she had heard it so clearly,--long ago,
on the far-off sun-spaced, wind-singing fields of home,--the wild sweet
choruses, the songs no man had ever sung. Still she heard them sometimes
in the twilight, in the night, when she sat alone and work was over;
high and thin and fading, only sound-ghosts, but still with the
incomparable glory of a first revelation, a song no one else has ever
heard, a marvel to be seized and bodied; only,--they faded away into the
nodding sleep that would conquer, and in the light and rush of day were
mournfully silent. And she never captured them, never would; life was
half over now.
With the thought she started up, struck the chords again, a world of
plaint throbbing through the strings; surely the wizard himself would
have been satisfied. But ah, once more the fatal uncertainty of the
fingers.... She bit the left hand savagely, then touched it, softly and
remorsefully, with the other, murmuring: "Poor fingers! Not your
fault." At last she rose and stood at the window, looking out into the
night, and thinking of the ruined gift, the noblest gift, that had been
hers and would die dumb; thinking of the messages that had come to her
up out of the silent dark and sunk back into it, unsounded; of the
voices she would have given to the messages of the masters, and never
would give now; and with a bitter compression of the lips she said:
"Well, I was born to strive and fail."
And suddenly a rush of feeling swept her own life out of sight, and away
out in the deepening night she saw the face of an old, sharp-chinned,
white-haired, dead man; he had been her father once, strong and young,
with chestnut hair and gleaming eyes, and with his own dream of what he
had to do in life. Perhaps he, too, had heard sounds singing in the air,
a new message waiting for deliverance. It was all over now; he had grown
old and thin-faced and white, and had never done anything in the world;
at least nothing for himself, his very own; he had sewn
clothes,--thousands, millions of stitches in his work-weary life--no
doubt there were still in existence scraps and fragments of his
work,--in same old ragbag perhaps--beautiful, fine stitches, into which
the keen eyesight and the deft hand had passed, still showing the
artist-craftsman. But _that_ was not his work; that was the service
society had asked of him and he had rendered; himself, his own soul,
that wherein he was different from other men, the unbought thing that
the soul does for its own outpouring,--that was nowhere. And over there,
among the low mounds of the soldiers' graves, his bed was made, and he
was lying in it, straight and still, with the rain crying softly above
him. He had been so full of the lust of life, so alert, so active! and
nothing of it all!--"Poor father, you failed too," she muttered softly.
And then behind the wraith of the dead man there rose an older picture,
a face she had never seen, dead fifty years before; but it shone through
the other face, and outshone it, luminous with great suffering, much
overcoming, and complete and final failure. It was the face of a woman
not yet middle-aged, smitten with death, with the horror of utter
strangeness in the dying eyes; the face of a woman lost in a strange
city of a strange land, and with her little crying, helpless children
about her, facing the inexorable agony there on the pavement, where she
was sinking down, and only foreign words falling in the dying
ears!--She, too, had striven; how she had striven! Against the abyss of
poverty there in the old world; against the load laid on her by Nature,
Law, Society, the triune God of Terror; against the inertia of another
will. She had bought coppers with blood, and spared and saved and
endured and waited; she had bent the gods to her will; she had sent her
husband to America, the land of freedom and promise; she had followed
him at last, over the great blue bitter water with its lapping mouths
that had devoured one of her little ones upon the way; she had been
driven like a cow in the shambles at the landing stage; she had been
robbed of all but her ticket, and with her little children had hungered
for three days on the overland journey; she had lived it through, and
set foot in the promised land; but somehow the waiting face was not
there, had missed her or she, him,--and lost and alone with Death and
the starving babes, she sank at the foot of the soldiers' monument, and
the black mist came down on the courageous eyes, and the light was
flickering out forever. With a bitter cry the living figure in the room
stretched its hands toward the vision in the night. There was nothing
there, she knew it; nothing in the heavens above nor the earth beneath
to hear the cry,--not so much as a crumbling bone any more,--but she
called brokenly, "Oh, why must she die so, with nothing, nothing, not
one little reward after all that struggle? To fall on the pavement and
die in the hospital at last!"
And shuddering, with covered eyes and heavy breath, she added wearily,
"No wonder that I fail; I come of those who failed; my father, his
mother,--and before her?"
Behind the fading picture, stretched dim, long shadows of silent
generations, with rounded shoulders and bent backs and sullen, conquered
faces. And they had all, most likely, dreamed of some wonderful thing
they had to do in the world, and all had died and left it undone. And
their work had been washed away, as if writ in water, and no one knew
their dreams. And of the fruit of their toil other men had eaten, for
that was the will of the triune god; but of themselves was left no
trace, no sound, no word, in the world's glory; no carving upon stone,
no indomitable ghost shining from a written sign, no song singing out of
black foolish spots on paper,--nothing. They were as though they had not
been. And as they all had died, she too would die, slave of the triple
Terror, sacrificing the highest to the meanest, that somewhere in some
lighted ball-room or gas-bright theater, some piece of vacant flesh
might wear one more jewel in her painted hair.
"My soul," she said bitterly, "my soul for their diamonds!" It was time
to sleep, for to-morrow--WORK.
The Sorrows of the Body
I have never wanted anything more than the wild creatures have,--a broad
waft of clean air, a day to lie on the grass at times, with nothing to
do but slip the blades through my fingers, and look as long as I pleased
at the whole blue arch, and the screens of green and white between;
leave for a month to float and float along the salt crests and among the
foam, or roll with my naked skin over a clean long stretch of sunshiny
sand; food that I liked, straight from the cool ground, and time to
taste its sweetness, and time to rest after tasting; sleep when it came,
and stillness, that the sleep might leave me when it would, not
sooner--Air, room, light rest, nakedness when I would not be clothed,
and when I would be clothed, garments that did not fetter; freedom to
touch my mother earth, to be with her in storm and shine, as the wild
things are,--this is what I wanted,--this, and free contact with my
fellows;--not to love, and lie and be ashamed, but to love and say I
love, and be glad of it; to feel the currents of ten thousand years of
passion flooding me, body to body, as the wild things meet. I have asked
no more.
But I have not received. Over me there sits that pitiless tyrant, the
Soul; and I am nothing. It has driven me to the city, where the air is
fever and fire, and said, "Breathe this;--I would learn; I cannot learn
in the empty fields; temples are here,--stay." And when my poor,
stifled lungs have panted till it seemed my chest must burst, the Soul
has said, "I will allow you, then, an hour or two; we will ride, and I
will take my book and read meanwhile."
And when my eyes have cried out with tears of pain for the brief vision
of freedom drifting by, only for leave to look at the great green and
blue an hour, after the long, dull-red horror of walls, the Soul has
said, "I cannot waste the time altogether; I must know! Read." And when
my ears have plead for the singing of the crickets and the music of the
night, the Soul has answered, "No: gongs and whistles and shrieks are
unpleasant if you listen; but school yourself to hearken to the
spiritual voice, and it will not matter."
When I have beat against my narrow confines of brick and mortar, brick
and mortar, the Soul has said, "Miserable slave! Why are you not as I,
who in one moment fly to the utterest universe? It matters not where you
are, _I_ am free."
When I would have slept, so that the lids fell heavily and I could not
lift them, the Soul has struck me with a lash, crying, "Awake! Drink
some stimulant for those shrinking nerves of yours! There is no time to
sleep till the work is done." And the cursed poison worked upon me, till
_Its_ will was done.
When I would have dallied over my food, the Soul has ordered, "Hurry,
hurry! Do I have time to waste on this disgusting scene? Fill yourself
and be gone!"
When I have envied the very dog, rubbing its bare back along the ground
in the sunlight, the Soul has exclaimed, "Would you degrade me so far as
to put yourself on a level with beasts?" And my bands were drawn
tighter.
When I have looked upon my kind, and longed to embrace them, hungered
wildly for the press of arms and lips, the Soul has commanded sternly,
"Cease, vile creature of fleshly lusts! Eternal reproach! Will you
forever shame me with your beastliness?"
And I have always yielded: mute, joyless, fettered, I have trod the
world of the Soul's choosing, and served and been unrewarded. Now I am
broken before my time; bloodless, sleepless, breathless,--half-blind,
racked at every joint, trembling with every leaf. "Perhaps I have been
too hard," said the Soul; "you shall have a rest." The boon has come too
late. The roses are beneath my feet now, but the perfume does not reach
me; the willows trail across my cheek and the great arch is overhead,
but my eyes are too weary to lift to it; the wind is upon my face, but I
cannot bare my throat to its caress; vaguely I hear the singing of the
Night through the long watches when sleep does not come, but the
answering vibration thrills no more. Hands touch mine--I longed for them
so once--but I am as a corpse. I remember that I wanted all these
things, but now the power to want is crushed from me, and only the
memory of my denial throbs on, with its never-dying pain. And still I
think, if I were left alone long enough--but already I hear the Tyrant
up there plotting to slay me.--"Yes," it keeps saying, "it is about
time! I will not be chained to a rotting carcass. If my days are to pass
in perpetual idleness I may as well be annihilated. I will make the
wretch do me one more service.--You have clamored to be naked in the
water. Go now, and lie in it forever."
Yes: that is what It is saying, and I--the sea stretches down there----
The Triumph of Youth
The afternoon blazed and glittered along the motionless tree-tops and
down into the yellow dust of the road. Under the shadows of the trees,
among the powdered grass and bushes, sat a woman and a man. The man was
young and handsome in a way, with a lean eager face and burning eyes, a
forehead in the old poetic mould crowned by loose dark waves of hair;
his chin was long, his lips parted devouringly and his glances seemed to
eat his companion's face. It was not a pretty face, not even ordinarily
good looking,--sallow, not young, only youngish; but there was a
peculiar mobility about it, that made one notice it. She waved her hand
slowly from East to West, indicating the horizon, and said dreamingly:
"How wide it is, how far it is! One can get one's breath. In the city I
always feel that the walls are squeezing my chest." After a little
silence she asked without looking at him: "What are you thinking of,
Bernard?"
"You," he murmured.
She glanced at him under her lids musingly, stretched out her hand and
touched his eyelids with her finger-tips, and turned aside with a
curious fleeting smile. He caught at her hand, but failing to touch it
as she drew it away, bit his lip and forcedly looked off at the sky and
the landscape: "Yes," he said in a strained voice, "it is beautiful,
after the city. I wish we could stay in it."
The woman sighed: "That's what I have been wishing for the last fifteen
years."
He bent towards her eagerly: "Do you think--" he stopped and stammered,
"You know we have been planning, a few of us, to club together and get a
little farm somewhere near--would you--do you think--would you be one of
us?"
She laughed, a little low, sad laugh: "I wouldn't be any good, you know.
I couldn't do the work that ought to be done. I would come fast enough
and I would try. But I'm a little too old, Bernard. The rest are young
enough to make mistakes and live to make them good; but when I would
have my lesson learned, my strength would be gone. It's half gone now."
"No, it isn't," burst out the youth. "You're worth half a dozen of those
young ones. Old, old--one would think you were seventy. And you're not
old; you will never be old."
She looked up where a crow was wheeling in the air. "If," she said
slowly, following its motions with her eyes, "you once plant your feet
on my face, and you will, you impish bird--my Bernard will sing a
different song."
"No, Bernard won't," retorted the youth. "Bernard knows his own mind,
even if he is 'only a boy.' I don't love you for your face, you--"
She interrupted him with a shrug and a bitter sneer. "Evidently! Who
would?"
A look of mingled pain and annoyance overspread his features. "How you
twist my words. You are beautiful to me; and you know what I meant."
"Well," she said, throwing herself backward against a tree-trunk and
stretching out her feet on the grass, ripples of amusement wavering
through the cloudy expression, "tell me what do you love in me."
He was silent, biting his lower lip.
"I'll tell you then," she said. "It's my energy, the life in me. That is
youth, and my youth has overlived its time. I've had a long lease, but
it's going to expire soon. So long as you don't see it, so long as my
life seems fuller than yours--well--; but when the failure of life
becomes visible, while your own is still in its growth, you will turn
away. When my feet won't spring any more, yours will still be dancing.
And you will want dancing feet with you."
"I will not," he answered shortly. "I've seen plenty of other women; I
saw all the crowd coming up this morning and there wasn't a woman there
to compare with you. I don't say I'll never love others, but now I
don't; if I see another woman like you--But I never could love one of
those young girls."
"Sh--sh," she said glancing down the road where a whirl of dust was
making towards them, in the center of which moved a band of bright young
figures, "there they come now. Don't they look beautiful?" There were
four young girls in front, their faces radiant with sun and air, and
daisy wreaths in their gleaming hair; they had their arms around each
other's waists and sang as they walked, with neither more accord nor
discord than the birds about them. The voices were delicious in their
youth and joy; one heard that they were singing not to produce a musical
effect, but from the mere wish to sing. Behind them came a troop of
young fellows, coats off, heads bare, racing all over the roadside,
jostling each other and purposely provoking scrambles. The tallest one
had a nimbus of bright curls crowning a glowing face, dimpled and
sparkling as a child's. The girls glanced shyly at him under their
lashes as he danced about now in front and now behind them, occasionally
tossing them a flower, but mostly hustling his comrades about. Behind
these came older people with three or four very little children riding
on their backs.
As the group came abreast of our couple they stopped to exchange a few
words, then went on. When they had passed out of hearing the woman sat
with a sphinx-like stare in her eyes, looking steadily at the spot where
the bright head had nodded to her as it passed.
"Like a wildflower on a stalk," she murmured softly, narrowing her eyes
as if to fix the vision, "like a tall tiger-lily."
Her companion's face darkened perceptibly. "What do you mean? What do
you see?" he asked.
"The vision of Youth and Beauty," she answered in the tone of a
sleep-walker, "and the glory and triumph of it,--the immortality of
it--its splendid indifference to its ruined temples, and all its humble
worshipers. Do you know," turning suddenly to him with a sharp change in
face and voice, "what I would be wicked enough to do, if I could?"
He smiled tolerantly: "You, wicked? Dear one, you couldn't be wicked."
"Oh, but I could! If there were any way to fix Davy's head forever, just
as he passed us now,--forever, so that all the world might keep it and
see it for all time, I would cut it off with this hand! Yes, I would."
Her eyes glittered mercilessly.
He shook his head smiling: "You wouldn't kill a bug, let alone Davy."
"I tell you I would. Do you remember when Nathaniel died? I felt bad
enough, but do you know the week before when he was so very sick, I
went out one day to a beautiful glen we used to visit together. They had
been improving it! they had improved it so much that the water is all
dying out of the creek; the little boats that used to float like pond
lilies lie all helpless in the mud, and hardly a ribbon of water goes
over the fall, and the old giant trees are withering. Oh, it hurt me so
to think the glory of a thousand years was vanishing before my eyes and
I couldn't hold it. And suddenly the question came into my head: 'If you
had the power would you save Nathaniel's life or bring back the water to
the glen?' And I didn't hesitate a minute. I said, 'Let Nathaniel die
and all my best loved ones and I myself, but bring back the glory of the
glen!"
"When I think," she went on turning away and becoming dreamy again, "of
all the beauty that is gone that I can never see, that is lost
forever--the beauty that had to alter and die,--it stifles me with the
pain of it. Why must it all die?"
He looked at her wonderingly. "It seems to me," he said slowly, "that
beauty worship is almost a disease with you. I wouldn't like to care so
much for mere outsides."
"We never long for the thing we are rich in," she answered in a dry,
changed voice. Nevertheless his face lighted, it was pleasant to be rich
in the thing she worshiped. He had gradually drawn near her feet and now
suddenly bent forward and kissed them passionately. "Don't," she cried
sharply, "it's too much like self-abasement. And besides--"
His face was white and quivering, his voice choked. "Well--what
besides--"
"The time will come when you will wish you had reserved that kiss for
some other foot. Some one to whom it will all be new, who will shudder
with the joy of it, who will meet you half way, who will believe all
that you say, and say like things in fullness of heart. And I perhaps
will see you, and know that in your heart you are sorry you gave
something to me that you would have ungiven if you could."
He buried his face in his hands. "You do not love me at all," he said.
"You do not believe me."
A curious softness came into the answer: "Oh, yes, dear, I believe you.
Years ago I believed myself when I said the same sort of thing. But I
told you I am getting old. I can not unmake what the years have made,
nor bring back what they have stolen. I love you _for your face_", the
words had a sting in them, "and for your soul too. And I am glad to be
loved by you. But, do you know what I am thinking?"
He did not answer.
"I am thinking that as I sit here, beloved by you and others who are
young and beautiful--it is no lie--in a--well, in a triumph I have not
sought, but which I am human enough to be glad of, envied no doubt by
those young girls,--I am thinking how the remorseless feet of Youth will
tramp on me soon, and carry you away. And"--very slowly--"in my day of
pain, you will not be near, nor the others. I shall be alone; age and
pain are unlovely."
"You won't let me come near you," he said wildly. "I would do anything
for you. I always want to do things for you to spare you, and you never
let me. When you are in pain you will push me away."
A fairly exultant glitter flashed in her face. "Yes," she said, "I know
my secret. That is how I have stayed young so long. See," she said,
stretching out her arms, "other women at my age are past the love of
men. Their affections have gone to children. And I have broken the law
of nature and prolonged the love of youth because--I have been strong
and stood alone. But there is an end. Things change, seasons change,
you, I, all change; what's the use of saying 'Never--forever,
forever--never,' like the old clock on the stairs? It's a big lie."
"I won't talk any more," he said, "but when the time comes you will
see."
She nodded: "Yes, I will see."
"Do you think all people alike?"
"As like as ants. People are vessels which life fills and breaks, as it
does trees and bees and other sorts of vessels. They play when they are
little, and then they love and then they have children and then they
die. Ants do the same."
"To be sure. But I don't deceive myself as to the scope of it."
The crowd were returning now, and by tacit consent they arose and joined
the group. Down the road they jumped a fence into a field and had to
cross a little stream. "Where is our bridge?" called the boys. "We made
a bridge. Some one has stolen our bridge."
"Oh, come on," cried Davy, "let's jump it." Three ran and sprang; they
landed laughing and taunting the rest. Bernard sought out his beloved.
"Shall I help you over?" he asked.
"No," she said shortly, "help the girls," and brushing past him she
jumped, falling a little short and muddying a foot, but scrambling up
unaided. The rest debated seeking an advantageous point. At last they
found a big stone in the middle, and pulling off his shoes, Bernard
waded in the creek, helping the girls across. The smallest one,
large-eyed and timid, clung to his arm and let him almost carry her
over.
"He does it real natural," observed Davy, who was whisking about in the
daisy field like some flashing butterfly.
They gathered daisies and laughed and sang and chattered till the sun
went low. Then they gathered under a big tree and spread their lunch on
the ground. And after they had eaten, the conversation lay between the
sallow-faced woman and one of the older men, a clever conversation
filled with quaint observations and curious sidelights. The boys sat all
about the woman questioning her eagerly, but behind in the shadow of the
drooping branches sat the girls, silent, unobtrusive, holding each
other's hands. Now and then the talker cast a furtive glance from
Bernard's rather withdrawn face to the faces in the shadow, and the
enigmatic smile hovered and flitted over her lips.
* * * * *
Three years later on the anniversary of that summer day the woman sat at
an upstairs window in the house on the little farm that was a reality
now, the little co-operative farm where ten free men and women labored
and loved. She had come with the others and done her best, but the cost
of it, hard labor and merciless pain, was stamped on the face that
looked from the window. She was watching Bernard's figure as it came
swinging through the orchard. Presently he came in and up the stairs.
His feet went past her door, then turned back irresolutely, and a low
knock followed. Her eyebrows bent together almost sternly as she
answered, "Come in."
He entered with a smile: "Can I do anything for you this morning?"
"No," she said quietly, "you know I like my own cranky ways. I--I'd
rather do things myself." He nodded: "I know. I always get the same
answer. Shall you go to the picnic? You surely will keep our
foundation-day picnic?"
"Perhaps--later. And perhaps not." There was a curious tone of
repression in the words.
"Well," he answered good-naturedly, "if you won't let me do anything for
you, I'll have to find some one who will. Is Bella ready to go?"
"This half hour. Bella. Here is Bernard." And Bella came in. Bella, the
timid girl with the brilliant complexion and gazelle soft eyes, Bella
radiant in her youth and feminine daintiness, more lovely than she had
been three years before.
She gave Bernard a lunch basket to carry and a shawl and a workbag and a
sun umbrella, and when they went out she clung to his arm besides. She
stopped near one of their own rose bushes and told him to choose a bud
for her, and she put it coquettishly in her dark hair. The woman watched
them till they disappeared down the lane; he had never once looked back.
Then her mouth settled in a quiet sneer and she murmured: "How long is
'forever'? Three years." After a while she rose and crossed to an old
mirror that hung on the opposite wall. Staring at the reflection it gave
back, she whispered drearily: "You are ugly, you are eaten with pain! Do
you still expect the due of youth and beauty? Did you not know it all
long ago?" Then something flashed in the image, something as if the
features had caught fire and burned. "I will not," she said hoarsely,
her fingers clenching. "I will not surrender. Was it he I loved? It was
his youth, his beauty, his life. And younger youth shall love me still,
stronger life. I will not, I will not die alive." She turned away and
ran down into the yard and out into the fields. She would not go on the
common highway where all went, she would find a hard way through woods
and over hills, and she would come there before them and sit and wait
for them where the ways met. Bareheaded, ill-dressed and careless she
ran along, finding a fierce pleasure in trampling and breaking the brush
that impeded her. There was the road at last, and right ahead of her an
old, old man hobbling along with bent back and eyes upon the ground.
Just before him was a bad hole in the road; he stopped, irresolute, and
looked around like a crippled insect stretching its antenna to find a
way for its mangled feet. She called cheerily, "Let me help you." He
looked up with dim blue eyes helplessly seeking. She led him slowly
around the dangerous place, and then they sat down together on the
little covered wooden bridge beyond.
"Ah!" murmured the old man, shaking his head, "it is good to be young."
And there was the ghost of admiration in his watery eyes, as he looked
at her tall straight figure.
"Yes," she answered sadly, looking away down the road where she saw
Bella's white dress fluttering, "it is good to be young."
The lovers passed without noticing them, absorbed in each other.
Presently the old man hobbled away. "It will come to that too," she
muttered looking after him. "The husks of life!"
The Old Shoemaker
He had lived a long time there, in the house at the end of the alley,
and no one had ever known that he was a great man. He was lean and
palsied and had a crooked back; his beard was grey and ragged and his
eyebrows came too far forward; there were seams and flaps in the empty,
yellow old skin, and he gasped horribly when he breathed, taking hold of
the lintel of the door to steady himself when he stepped out on the
broken bricks of the alley. He lived with a frightful old woman who
scrubbed the floors of the rag-shop, and drank beer, and growled at the
children who poked fun at her. He had lived with her eighteen years, she
said, stroking the furry little kitten that curled up in her neck as if
she had been beautiful.
Eighteen years they had been drinking and quarreling together--and
suffering. She had seen the flesh sucking away from the bones, and the
skin falling in upon them, and the long, lean fingers growing more lean
and trembling, as they crooked round his shoemaking tools.
It was very strange she had not grown thin; the beer had bloated her,
and rolls of weak, shaking flesh lapped over the ridges of her uncouth
figure. Her pale, lack-lustre blue eyes wandered aimlessly about as she
talked: No--he had never told her, not even in their quarrels, not even
when they were drunken together, of the great Visitor who had come up
the little alley, yesterday, walking so stately over the sun-beaten
bricks, taking no note of the others, and coming in at the door without
asking. She had not expected such an one; how could she? But the Old
Shoemaker had shown no surprise at the Mighty One. He smiled and set
down the teacup he was holding, and entered into communion with the
Stranger. He noticed no others, but continued to smile; and the infinite
dignity of the Unknown fell upon him, and covered the wasted old limbs
and the hard, wizened face, so that all we who entered, bowed, and went
out, and did not speak.
But we understood, for the Mighty One gave understanding without words.
We had been in the presence of Freedom! We had stood at the foot of
Tabor, and seen this worn, old, world-soiled soul lose all its dross and
commonplace, and pass upward smiling, to the Transfiguration. In the
hands of the Mighty One the crust had crumbled, and dropped away in
impalpable powder. Souls should be mixed of it no more. Only that which
passed upward, the fine white playing flame, the heart of the long,
life-long watches of patience, should rekindle there in the perennial
ascension of the great Soul of Man.
Where the White Rose Died
It was late at night, a raw, rough-shouldering night, that shoved men in
corners as having no business in the street, and the few people in the
northbound car drew themselves into themselves, radiating hedgehog
quills of feeling at their neighbors. Presently there came in a curious
figure, clothed in the drapery of its country's honor, the blue flannel
flapping very much about its legs. I looked at its feet first, because
they were so very small and girlish, and because the owner of them
adjusted the flapping pants with the coquetry of a maiden switching her
skirts. Then I glanced at the hands: they also were small and womanish,
and constantly in motion. At last, the face, expecting a fresh young
boy's, not long away from some country village. It was the sunk, seamed
face of a man of forty-five, seared, and with iron-gray eyebrows, but
lit by twinkling young eyes, that gleamed at everything good-humoredly.
The sailor's pancake with its official lettering was pushed rakishly
down and forward, and looking at hat and wearer, one instinctively
turned milliner and decorated the "shape" with aigrette and bows,--they
would nod so accordant with the flirting head. Presently the restless
hands went up and gave the hat another tilt, went down and straightened
the "divided skirt," folded themselves an instant while the little feet
began tattooing the car floor, and the scintillant eyes looked general
invitation all round the car. No perceptible shrinkage of quills,
however, so the eyes wandered over to their image in the plate glass,
and directly the hat got another coquettish dip, and the skirts another
flirt and settle.
The conductor came in: some one to talk to at last! "Will you let me off
at Ninth and Race?"
The dim chill of a smile shivered over the other faces in the car. Ninth
and Race! Who ever heard a defender of his country's glory ask a
conductor on a street car in Philadelphia for any other point than Ninth
and Race!
The conductor nodded appreciatively. "Just come to the city, I suppose,"
he said interlocutively.
The sailor plucked off his hat, exhibiting his label with child-like
vanity: "S. S. Alabama. Here for three days just. Been over in New
York."
"Like it?" remarked the conductor, prolonging his stay inside the car.
The hat went on again, proudly. "Sixteen years in the service. Yes, sir.
_Six_-teen years. The service is all right. The service is good enough
for me. Live there. Expect to die there. Sixteen years. You won't forget
to let me off at Ninth and Race."
"No. Going to see Chinatown?"
"Sure. Chinatown's all right. Seen it in Hong Kong. Want to see it in
Philadelphia."
O cradle of my country's freedom! These are your defenders,--these to
whom your chief delight is your stews and your brothels, your fantans
and your opium dens, your sinks of filth and your cesspools of slime!
Let them only be as they were "at Hong Kong"--or worse--and "the
service" asks no more. He will live in it and die in it, and it's good
enough for him. Oh, not your old-time patriotic legends, nor the halls
of the great Rebel Birth, nor the solemn, silent Bell that once
proclaimed liberty throughout the land, nor the piteous relics of your
dead wise men, nor any dream of your bright, pure young days when yet
you were "a fair greene country towne," swims up in the vision of "the
service" when he sets his foot within your borders, filling him with
devotion to Our Lady Liberty, and drawing him to New World pilgrim
shrines. Not these, oh no, not these. But your leper spot, your Old
World plague-house, your breeding-ground of pest-begotten human vermin!
So there is Chinatown, and electric glare enough upon it, and rat-holes
enough within it, "the service" is good enough for him,--he will shoot
to order in your defense till he dies!
Rat-tat-tat went the little feet upon the floor, and the pancake got
another rakish pull. Presently the active figure squared sharply about
and faced the door. The car had stopped, and a drunken man was
staggering in. The sailor caught him good-humoredly in his arms, swung
him about, and seated him beside himself with a comforting "Now you're
all right, sir; sit right here, my friend."
The drunkard had a sodden, stupid face and bleary eyes from which the
alcohol was oozing. In his shaking hand he held a bunch of delicate
half-opened roses, hothouse roses, cream and pink; the odor of them
drifted faintly through the car like a whiff of summer. Something like a
sigh of relaxation exhaled from the hedge-hogs, and a dozen
commiserating eyes were fastened on the ill-fated flowers,--so fragile,
so sweet, so inoffensive, so wantonly sacrificed. The hot, unsteady,
clutching hand had already burned the stems, and the pale, helpless
faces of the roses drooped heavily.
The drunkard, full of beery effervescence, cast a bubbling look over the
car, and spying a young lady opposite, suddenly stood up and offered
the bouquet to her. She stared resolutely through him, seeing and
hearing nothing, not even the piteous child-blossoms, with their
pleading, downbent heads, and with a confused muttering of "No offense,
no offense, you know," the man sank back again. As he did so the
uncertain fingers released one stem, and a cream-white bloom went
fluttering down, like a butterfly with broken wings. There it lay,
jolting back and forth on the dirty floor, and no one dared to pick it
up.
Presently the drunkard sopped over comfortably on the sailor's shoulder,
who, with a generally directed wink of bonhomie, settled him easily,
bestowing a sympathetic pat upon the bloated cheek. The conductor
disturbed the situation by asking for his fare. The drunkard stupidly
rubbed his eyes and offered his flowers in place of the nickel. Again
they were refused; and after a fluctuant search in his pockets between
intervals of nodding, the dirty, over-fingered bit of metal was
produced, accepted--and still the dying blossoms shivered in the
torturer's hands.
He was drowsing off again, when, by some sudden turn of the obstructed
machinery in his skull, his lids opened and he struggled up; the image
of myself must have swum suddenly across the momentarily acting
eye-nerve, and with gurgling deference, at the immanent risk of losing
his equilibrium once more, he proffered the bouquet to me, grabbing the
heads and presenting them stem-end towards. A smothered snuffle went
round the car.
I wanted them, Oh, how I wanted them! My heart beat suffocatingly with
the sense of baffled pity and rage and cowardice. Who was he, that
drunken sot, with his smirching, wabbling hand, that I should fear to
take the roses from him? Why must I grind my teeth and sit there
helpless, while those beautiful things were crushed and blasted and torn
in living fragments? I could take them home, I could give them drink,
they would lift up their heads, they would open wide, for days they
would make the room sweet, and the pale, soft glory of their inimitable
petals would shine like a luminous promise across the winter. Nobody
wanted them, nobody cared; this sodden beast in the flare-up of his
consciousness wished to be quit of them. _Why_ might I not take them?
Something sharp bit and burned my eyelids as I glanced at the one on the
floor. The conductor had stepped on it and crushed it open; and there
lay the marvelous creamy leaves, curled at their edges like kiss-seeking
lips, each with its glory greater than Solomon's, all fouled and ruined
in the human reek.
And I dared not save the others! Miserable coward!
I forced my hands tighter in my pockets and turned my head away towards
the outside night and the backward slipping street. Between me and it, a
dim reflection wavered, the image of the thing that stood there before
me; and somewhere, like a far-off, dulled bell, I heard the words, "And
God created man in his own image, in the image of God created He him."
The sailor, no doubt with the kindly intention of relieving me from
annoyance, and not averse to play with anything, made pretence of
seizing the roses. Then the drunkard, in an abandon of generosity, began
tearing off the blossoms by the heads, scrutinizing, and casting each
away as unfit for the exalted service of his "friend," till the latter
reaching out managed to get hold of a white one with a stem. He trimmed
its sheltering green carefully, brought out a long black pin, stuck it
through the stalk, and fastened the pale shining head against his dark
blue blouse. All hedgehoggery smiled. We had thrust the roses through
with our forbidding quills,--what matter that a barbarian nail
crucified this last one? The drunkard slept again, limply holding his
scattering bunch of headless stems and torn foliage. Pink and cream the
petals strewed the floor. Where was the loving hand that had nursed them
to bloom in this hard, unwonted weather; loved and nursed and--_sold_
them?
"Ninth and Race," sang out the conductor. The sailor sprang up with a
merry grin, bowed gaily to everyone, twinkled his fingers in the air
with a blithe "Ta ta; I'm off for Chinatown," as he slid through the
door, and was away in a trice, tripping down to the pestiferous sink
that was awaiting him somewhere. And on his breast he wore the pallid
flower that had offered its stainless beauty to me, that I had
loved,--and had not loved enough to save. The rest were dead; but that
one--somewhere down there in a den where even the gas-choked lights were
leering like prostitutes' eyes, down there in that trough of swill and
swine, that pure, still thing had yet to die.
_An Important Human Document_
PRISON MEMOIRS
OF
AN ANARCHIST
By
ALEXANDER BERKMAN
An earnest portrayal of the revolutionary psychology of the author, as
manifested by his _Attentat_ during the great labor struggle of
Homestead, in 1892.
The whole truth about prisons has never before been told as this book
tells it. The MEMOIRS deal frankly and intimately with prison life in
its various phases.
$1.25, BY MAIL $1.40
MOTHER EARTH PUBLISHING ASSOCIATION
74 WEST 119TH STREET
NEW YORK
ANARCHISM
_=And Other Essays=_
By EMMA GOLDMAN
Including a biographic SKETCH of the author's interesting career, a
splendid PORTRAIT, and twelve of her most important lectures, some of
which have been suppressed by the police authorities of various cities.
This book expresses the most advanced ideas on social
questions--economics, politics, education and sex.
_Second Revised Edition_
Emma Goldman--the notorious, insistent, rebellious, enigmatical Emma
Goldman--has published her first book, "Anarchism and Other Essays." In
it she records "the mental and soul struggles of twenty-one years," and
recites all the articles of that strange and subversive creed in behalf
of which she has suffered imprisonment, contumely and every kind of
persecution. The book is a vivid revelation of a unique personality. It
appears at a time when Anarchistic ideas are undoubtedly is the
ascendant throughout the world.--_Current Literature._
Emma Goldman's book on "Anarchism and Other Essays" ought to
be read by all so-called respectable women, and adopted as a
test-book by women's clubs throughout the country.... For courage,
persistency, self-effacement, self-sacrifice in the pursuit of
her object, she has hitherto been unsurpassed among the world's
women.... Repudiating as she does practically every tenet of what
the modern State holds good, she stands for some of the noblest
traits in human nature.--_Life._
Every thoughtful person ought to read this volume of papers by the
foremost American Anarchist. In whatever way the book may modify or
strengthen the opinion already held by its readers, there is no doubt
that a careful reading of it will tend to bring about greater social
sympathy. It will help the public to understand a group of
serious-minded and morally strenuous individuals, and also to feel the
spirit that underlies the most radical tendencies of the great labor
movement of our day.--Hutchins Hapgood in _The Bookman._
Price $1.00 By Mail $1.10
_ORDER THROUGH YOUR BOOK DEALER OR SEND TO_
Mother Earth Publishing Association
74 WEST 119th STREET, NEW YORK
The Modern Drama
_Its Social and Revolutionary Significance_
By
EMMA GOLDMAN
This volume contains a critical analysis of the Modern Drama, in its
relation to the social and revolutionary tendencies of the age. It
embraces fifty plays of twenty-four of the foremost dramatists of six
different countries, dealing with them not from the technical point of
view, but from the standpoint of their universal and dynamic appeal to
the human race.
CONTENTS
PREFACE
THE SCANDINAVIAN DRAMA: Ibsen, Strindberg, Björnson
THE GERMAN DRAMA: Hauptmann, Sudermann, Wedekind
THE ENGLISH DRAMA: Shaw, Pinero, Galsworthy, Kennedy, Sowerby
THE IRISH DRAMA: Yeats, Lady Gregory, Robinson
THE RUSSIAN DRAMA: Tolstoy, Tchekhov, Gorki, Tchirikov, Andreyev
INDEX
Price $1.00 net. By mail $1.15
Mother Earth Publishing Association
74 West 119th Street
NEW YORK
WORKS BY PETER KROPOTKIN
The Great French Revolution, 1789-1793 . . $2.00
Mutual Aid . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 2.00
Memoirs of a Revolutionist . . . . . . . . 2.00
Russian Literature . . . . . . . . . . . . 2.00
Conquest of Bread . . . . . . . . . . . . 1.00
Fields, Factories and Workshops (cloth) . .75
Modern Science and Anarchism (new enlarged
edition) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .50
The Terror in Russia . . . . . . . . . . . .15
The State: Its Historic Rôle . . . . . . . .10
Anarchism: Its Philosophy and Ideal . . . .05
Anarchist Communism . . . . . . . . . . . .05
The Place of Anarchism in Social Evolution .05
The Commune of Paris . . . . . . . . . . . .05
The Wage System . . . . . . . . . . . . . .05
Expropriation . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .05
Law and Authority . . . . . . . . . . . . .05
War . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .05
An Appeal to the Young . . . . . . . . . . .05
The First Five Books, 10 Cents Postage Extra
The Complete Set, $9.00
MOTHER EARTH SERIES
Free Speech for Radicals
Theodore Schroeder .25
Psychology of Political Violence
Emma Goldman .10
Anarchism: What It Really Stands For
Emma Goldman .10
Syndicalism: The Modern Menace to Capitalism
Emma Goldman .05
Marriage and Love Emma Goldman .10
Patriotism Emma Goldman .05
Victims of Morality and the Failure of Christianity
Emma Goldman .10
Anarchy Versus Socialism Emma Goldman .10
Anarchism and Malthus C. L. James .05
The Modern School Francisco Ferrer .05
A Talk About Anarchist Communism Between
Two Workers Enrico Malatesta .05
Syndicalism E. C. Ford and Wm. Z. Foster .10
MISCELLANEOUS
The Life, Trial and Death of Francisco Ferrer
William Archer $1.50
Anarchism--An able and impartial exposition
of Anarchism Paul Eltzbacher 1.50
What Is Property?--A brilliant arraignment
of property and the State
Pierre Proudhon 2.00
The Ego and His Own Max Stirner .75
The Life of Albert Parsons 1.50
Speeches of the Chicago Anarchists Cloth, .75
Paper cover, .30
God and the State Michael Bakunin .25
Francisco Ferrer: His Life, Work and
Martyrdom .15
The Origin and Ideals of the Modern School
Francisco Ferrer .75
News From Nowhere William Morris .50
Useful Work Versus Useless Toil
William Morris .05
Monopoly William Morris .05
Evolution and Revolution Elisée Reclus .05
The Bomb--A novel vividly portraying the
Chicago Haymarket Events of 1887
Frank Harris .75
The Ballad of Reading Gaol Oscar Wilde .10
The Soul of Man Under Socialism
Oscar Wilde .10
On the Duty of Civil Disobedience
H. D. Thoreau .15
By
Price Mail
Liberty and the Great Libertarians
Compiled by C. T. Sprading 1.50 1.60
The Science of Society
Stephen Pearl Andrews 1.50 1.65
England's Ideal Edward Carpenter 1.00 1.10
Love's Coming of Age Edward Carpenter 1.00 1.10
Syndicalism and the Co-Operative
Commonwealth
E. Pataud and E. Pouget (cloth) 1.00 1.10
Paper, .75 .80
My Life in Prison Donald Lowrie 1.25 1.40
Free Political Institutions L. Spooner .50 .55
Message of Anarchy Jethro Brown .25 .27
On Liberty of the Press James Mill .15 .17
Political Socialism B. E. Nillson .10 .12
Land and Liberty W. C. Owen .10 .12
The Social Evil Dr. J. H. Greer .10 .12
A Vindication of Natural Society (cloth)
Edmund Burke .50
Non-Governmental Society Edward Carpenter .15
Concentration of Capital W. Tcherkesoff .05
The Pyramid of Tyranny
F. Domela Nieuwenhuis .05
Anarchy Enrico Malatesta .05
The Basis of Trades Unionism Emile Pouget .05
FREE SPEECH SERIES
Obscene Literature and Compulsory Law
(_Sold only to libraries and persons
known to belong to the learned
professions._)
Theodore Schroeder $5.00
Free Press Anthology Theodore Schroeder 2.00
Due Process of Law Theodore Schroeder .25
Freedom of the Press and Obscene
Literature
Theodore Schroeder .25
In Defense of Free Speech
Theodore Schroeder .10
Liberal Opponents and Conservative
Friends of Unabridged Freedom of
Speech
Theodore Schroeder .10
Paternal Legislation Theodore Schroeder .05
Our Vanishing Liberty of the Press
Theodore Schroeder .05
Law-Breaking by the Police Alden Freeman .05
The Fight for Free Speech Alden Freeman .05
THE ONLY ANARCHIST MONTHLY
IN AMERICA
MOTHER
EARTH
A revolutionary literary magazine devoted to Anarchist thought in
sociology, economics, education, and life.
Articles by leading Anarchists and radical thinkers.--International
Notes giving a summary of the revolutionary activities in various
countries.--Reviews of modern books and the drama.
TEN CENTS A COPY
ONE DOLLAR A YEAR
EMMA GOLDMAN _Publisher_
ALEXANDER BERKMAN _Editor_
74 West 119th Street
NEW YORK
Bound Volumes 1906-1914, Two Dollars Per Volume