My angel--or ought I not rather to say my imp of evil?--you have,
without meaning it, grieved me sorely. I would say wounded were we not
one soul. And yet it is possible to wound oneself.
How plain it is that you have never realized the force of the word
_indissoluble_ as applied to the contract binding man and woman! I
have no wish to controvert what has been laid down by philosophers or
legislators--they are quite capable of doing this for themselves--but,
dear one, in making marriage irrevocable and imposing on it a relentless
formula, which admits of no exceptions, they have rendered each union
a thing as distinct as one individual is from another. Each has its
own inner laws which differ from those of others. The laws regulating
married life in the country, for instance, cannot be the same as those
regulating a household in town, where frequent distractions give variety
to life. Or conversely, married life in Paris, where existence is one
perpetual whirl, must demand different treatment from the more peaceful
home in the provinces.
But if place alters the conditions of marriage, much more does
character. The wife of a man born to be a leader need only resign
herself to his guidance; whereas the wife of a fool, conscious of
superior power, is bound to take the reins in her own hand if she would
avert calamity.
You speak of vice; and it is possible that, after all, reason and
reflection produce a result not dissimilar from what we call by that
name. For what does a woman mean by it but perversion of feeling through
calculation? Passion is vicious when it reasons, admirable only when it
springs from the heart and spends itself in sublime impulses that set
at naught all selfish considerations. Sooner or later, dear one, you too
will say, "Yes! dissimulation is the necessary armor of a woman, if by
dissimulation be meant courage to bear in silence, prudence to foresee
the future."
Every married woman learns to her cost the existence of certain social
laws, which, in many respects, conflict with the laws of nature.
Marrying at our age, it would be possible to have a dozen children. What
is this but another name for a dozen crimes, a dozen misfortunes? It
would be handing over to poverty and despair twelve innocent darlings;
whereas two children would mean the happiness of both, a double
blessing, two lives capable of developing in harmony with the customs
and laws of our time. The natural law and the code are in hostility,
and we are the battle ground. Would you give the name of vice to the
prudence of the wife who guards her family from destruction through its
own acts? One calculation or a thousand, what matter, if the decision no
longer rests with the heart?
And of this terrible calculation you will be guilty some day, my noble
Baronne de Macumer, when you are the proud and happy wife of the man who
adores you; or rather, being a man of sense, he will spare you by making
it himself. (You see, dear dreamer, that I have studied the code in its
bearings on conjugal relations.) And when at last that day comes, you
will understand that we are answerable only to God and to ourselves for
the means we employ to keep happiness alight in the heart of our homes.
Far better is the calculation which succeeds in this than the reckless
passion which introduces trouble, heart-burnings, and dissension.
I have reflected painfully on the duties of a wife and mother of a
family. Yes, sweet one, it is only by a sublime hypocrisy that we can
attain the noblest ideal of a perfect woman. You tax me with insincerity
because I dole out to Louis, from day to day, the measure of his
intimacy with me; but is it not too close an intimacy which provokes
rupture? My aim is to give him, in the very interest of his happiness,
many occupations, which will all serve as distractions to his love; and
this is not the reasoning of passion. If affection be inexhaustible,
it is not so with love: the task, therefore, of a woman--truly no light
one--is to spread it out thriftily over a lifetime.
At the risk of exciting your disgust, I must tell you that I persist in
the principles I have adopted, and hold myself both heroic and generous
in so doing. Virtue, my pet, is an abstract idea, varying in
its manifestations with the surroundings. Virtue in Provence, in
Constantinople, in London, and in Paris bears very different fruit, but
is none the less virtue. Each human life is a substance compacted of
widely dissimilar elements, though, viewed from a certain height, the
general effect is the same.
If I wished to make Louis unhappy and to bring about a separation, all
I need do is to leave the helm in his hands. I have not had your good
fortune in meeting with a man of the highest distinction, but I may
perhaps have the satisfaction of helping him on the road to it. Five
years hence let us meet in Paris and see! I believe we shall succeed
in mystifying you. You will tell me then that I was quite mistaken, and
that M. de l'Estorade is a man of great natural gifts.
As for this brave love, of which I know only what you tell me, these
tremors and night watches by starlight on the balcony, this idolatrous
worship, this deification of woman--I knew it was not for me. You can
enlarge the borders of your brilliant life as you please; mine is hemmed
in to the boundaries of La Crampade.
And you reproach me for the jealous care which alone can nurse this
modest and fragile shoot into a wealth of lasting and mysterious
happiness! I believed myself to have found out how to adapt the charm of
a mistress to the position of a wife, and you have almost made me blush
for my device. Who shall say which of us is right, which is wrong?
Perhaps we are both right and both wrong. Perhaps this is the heavy
price which society exacts for our furbelows, our titles, and our
children.
I too have my red camellias, but they bloom on my lips in smiles for my
double charge--the father and the son--whose slave and mistress I am.
But, my dear, your last letters made me feel what I have lost! You have
taught me all a woman sacrifices in marrying. One single glance did
I take at those beautiful wild plateaus where you range at your sweet
will, and I will not tell you the tears that fell as I read. But regret
is not remorse, though it may be first cousin to it.
You say, "Marriage has made you a philosopher!" Alas! bitterly did I
feel how far this was from the truth, as I wept to think of you swept
away on love's torrent. But my father has made me read one of the
profoundest thinkers of these parts, the man on whom the mantle of
Boussuet has fallen, one of those hard-headed theorists whose words
force conviction. While you were reading _Corinne_, I conned Bonald; and
here is the whole secret of my philosophy. He revealed to me the Family
in its strength and holiness. According to Bonald, your father was right
in his homily.
Farewell, my dear fancy, my friend, my wild other self.