1
'No, I can't say I remember any pasquinades, not to repeat; but I
know what happened once when they tried to stop them.
'There had been so many one time that the Government put a guard all
round about Pasquino to watch and see who did it, but for a long time
they saw no one.
'One night, at last, a clownish countryman came by with a bundle of
hay on his back, drivelling and half silly. "Let me sit here a bit
to rest; I'm so weary with carrying this load I can't go any farther;
but I won't do any harm."
'The guards laughed at the poor idiot's simplicity in fancying they
could expect such as he to be the author of the witty, pungent sort
of wares they were on the search for, and said with contemptuous pity,
"Yes, yes; you may sit there!" And the stupid old countryman sat down
at the foot of the statue.
'"Heaven reward you for your kindness!" he said, when he got up after
half-an-hour's rest.
'"Don't mention it; go in peace!" returned the guards, and the man
passed out of sight.
'Next morning, high over head of Pasquino floated a gay paper balloon.
'"The balloon! the balloon!" screamed the street urchins.
'"The balloon! the balloon!" shouted a number of men, assembled by
preconcerted arrangement, though seemingly passers-by attracted by
the noise.
'The clumsy clodhopper of overnight was an adroit fellow disguised,
and he had attached the string of the balloon to the statue.
'To seize the string, pull down the balloon, and burst it was quick
work; but out of it floated three hundred and sixty-six stinging
pasquinades, which were eagerly gathered up.'
2
'Many a time a simple exterior is a useful weapon; but when a man
who is really simple pretends to be clever he is soon found out. For
another time there had been a pasquinade which so vexed the Government
that the Pope declared whoever would acknowledge himself the author
of it should have his life spared and five hundred scudi reward.
'One day a simple-looking rustic came to the Vatican, and said he
was come to own himself the author of the pasquinade. As such he was
shown in to the Pope.
'"So you are the author of this pasquinade, are you, good man?"
'"Yes, Your Holiness, I wrote it," answered the fellow.
'"You are quite sure you wrote it?"
'"Oh, yes, Your Holiness, quite sure."
'"Take him and give him the five hundred scudi," said the Pope.
'An acute Monsignore, who felt convinced the man could not be the
author of the clever satire, could not refrain from interposing
officially when he found the Pope really seemed to be taken in.
'"They have their orders," said the Pope, who was no less discerning
than he.
'A chamberlain took the man into a room where five hundred scudi lay
counted on the table, and at the same time put on a pair of handcuffs.
'"Halloa now! What is this? It was announced that the man who owned
himself the author of the Pasquinade should have his life free and
five hundred scudi."
'"All right; no one is going to touch your life, and there are
the five hundred scudi. But you couldn't imagine that the man who
wrote that satire would be allowed to go free about Rome. That was
self-evident--there was no need to say it."
'"Oh, but I never wrote a word of it, upon my honour," exclaimed
the countryman.
'"I thought not," said the Pope, who had come in to amuse himself
with the fellow's confusion. "Now go, and another time don't pretend
to any worse sins than your own."'
[The 'Pasquino' statue was not only the receptacle of the invectives of
the vulgar, it often served also to mark the triumphs of the great. The
first time it was put to this use was in 1571, on occasion of the
triumph of M. A. Colonna, when the parts wanting were restored, and it
was clad in shining armour. On various occasions, as a new pope went
in procession from the Vatican to perform the ceremony called 'taking
possession' of St. John Lateran, it was similarly risanato del suo
stroppio ordinario (healed of the usual lameness of its members), and
made to bear a sword, a balance, a cornucopia, and other emblematical
devices, which are given at great length by Cancellieri.
The opinions of Winkelman, and others, concerning the great artistic
merits both of this statue and that called 'Marforio,' do not belong
to our present aspect of it. Sprenger, 'Roma nuova,' says that besides
these two there was another statue which used to take part in this
satirical converse, namely, that of the Water-seller, with his barrel
(commemorative of a well-known, though humble character), opposite
the Church of S. Marcello, in the Corso, which the present rulers,
ignorant of Roman traditions, removed. The Romans, however, clamoured
against its destruction, and it is now replaced round the corner,
up the Via Lata.]