_BIRTHS, DEATHS, AND MARRIAGES._
Missing Bride.--Wedding Reception.--Proxy
Marriage.--Servants' Weddings.--Love for Wives.--Killing
a Husband.--Wifely Affection.--Chinese Babies.--Securing
a Funeral.
In China a bride usually rides in a richly embroidered red
sedan-chair, decorated with flowers, and hired for the occasion. Not
long ago in Canton city a man hired a chair to carry his bride to his
homestead in the suburbs. The distance was great, and the hour late.
When the four chair-coolies and the lantern-bearers arrived at their
destination, the chair containing the bride was deposited outside the
doorway to wait the auspicious hour selected for opening the door to
admit the bride, and the coolies adjourned to an opium-den; and as
they had travelled a long way and were tired, they soon fell asleep.
How long they dozed they knew not; but on awakening, they returned,
and found the bridal chair outside the doorway. They came to the not
unnatural conclusion that the bride had already entered the household,
and that the chair was left there for them to take back to the city.
Since they had all received their pay in advance, they did not stop to
make further inquiries, but hurried home with the chair, put it in a
loft, and, rolling themselves up in their beds, slept the sleep of the
just. In the meantime the bridegroom heard the bridal party arrive,
but had to wait the stroke of the auspicious hour before welcoming the
bride. At last the candles were lit, incense-sticks were lighted, the
new rice and viands for entertaining the bride were served, the
parents-in-law put on their best suits, and so did the bridegroom, and
with much pomp and ceremony the door was thrown wide open; but as far
as the lantern's light would reach, lo! there was not a trace of the
bridal chair, or bride, nor a single soul to be seen. Great was their
consternation, and it became greater still as they concluded that
bandits must have kidnapped the bride, and would hold her for ransom.
The district officer was aroused, the case was reported to the village
justice of the peace, and search parties were sent out in every
direction. The bridegroom, though distracted, had sense enough to rush
to the city and make inquiries of the chair-bearers. The coolies were
dumbfounded, and explained what they had done. Together they climbed
to the loft, opened the door of the chair, and found the
demure-looking bride, long imprisoned and half-starved, but still
appearing to her best advantage in her beautiful bridal gown. The
bride appeared to have known that she was being carried backwards and
forwards; but could not protest, because it is the custom for brides
not to open their lips till the marriage ceremony is performed. Hence
all the trouble.
[Illustration: WEDDING PROCESSION.
_Lent by Scotch Presbyterian Mission._]
This little story, taken almost verbatim from a Chinese newspaper,
shows how far a bride's silence is carried. During all the days of
reception after the wedding she is supposed to stand up to receive
each incoming guest, who may make what remarks he pleases, even of the
most personal nature, but never a word may she say; whilst attendant
maids pull back her skirts to show how small her feet are, etc.
At one wedding I saw the poor bride grow so painfully crimson under
the comments of a very young man, that I took for granted he must be
some rude younger brother, and without thinking said so, and found I
had done quite the right thing; for the youth--who was no relation at
all--incontinently fled, feeling he had over-stepped the bounds of
propriety. Besides not speaking, the bride is supposed not to eat. At
the only wedding-feast I have attended--I have been to several
receptions--the unfortunate bride and bridegroom had to kneel and
touch the ground with their foreheads so often, that even if well
nourished one wondered how they could live through it. The bride had
to serve all the ladies with wine, the bridegroom to go round the
men's tables and do likewise. When the size of the bride's feet is
further considered, and the weight of the jewellery in her hair, one
wonders a little in what frame of mind the poor bride ultimately
approaches her groom. It must certainly be in an absolutely exhausted
condition of body.
An amusing matrimonial incident may be worth repeating here. A young
fellow was to be married on a certain lucky date; but his business
having taken him away just before the event, he found it impossible to
get back in time. He wrote to his parents, begging them to get the
ceremony postponed. To this suggestion many objections were raised by
relatives and friends and invited guests, and a strong despatch was
forthwith prepared, peremptorily commanding his attendance on the
original date. Again the bridegroom pleaded business, and said that he
really could not come, whereupon the incensed father straightway took
his departure for regions unknown, leaving the mother to do as she
liked in the matter. The latter was a woman of original ideas, and,
finding herself thus left alone, resolved, for the honour of the
family, to resort to strategy. Giving out that the bridegroom had
actually returned, but would not be visible until the day of the
marriage, she cleverly dressed in male attire a buxom daughter, who is
said to have been at all times very like her brother, and made her act
the part of happy man throughout the ceremonial. When the latter was
finished and the deception was disclosed or discovered, the hymeneal
party is said to have broken up in fits of laughter, and in praise of
the mother whose genius had evolved so satisfactory a method of
overcoming a serious domestic difficulty. The proxy marriage will, it
is said, hold good, and, _nolens volens_, the son is now regarded by
his family and friends as a married man.
When one of our many cooks once wanted a wife, he discussed the matter
in very businesslike style with my husband. "I can get a wife in
Szechuan for ten dollars," he said. "But, then, I can know nothing
about her family and habits, as I could if I took a wife from
Hupeh"--his own province. "It is true there I should have to pay more.
But here all the women drink wine and smoke, and many of them smoke
opium. And you never can know the truth beforehand. Now, if I find
after marriage that the woman I have chosen smokes opium, there will
be my ten dollars gone, and nothing to show for them. I shall wait
till I can go home to my own province. Aren't you going that way soon,
master? Promise you will take me when you do." However, after all
these wise sayings, he was over-persuaded by the account he heard of
some woman, married her, and was, I think, very fortunate in her, but
that the poor creature died of some painful internal disease two years
afterwards.
Our water-coolie made such a fuss over his wedding, gave such a feast,
invited so many guests, and borrowed so much money to defray expenses,
that I do not see how it is possible in all the course of his life for
him to get out of debt again; for though he had made an elaborate
calculation that each wedding guest would give a present worth more
than his share of the feast would cost, and that he himself would thus
really make money by it, he found himself disappointed. It is curious
as, perhaps, indicating the mortality among the women of China that
all our servants, with the exception of one who has left our service,
have lost their wives at least once during the twelve years I have
been in China; and not one of the wives can have been over forty.
The men seemed proud of their wives, and good to them according to
their ideas; but it certainly was extraordinary how little they seemed
to feel their loss when they died. Yet I suppose they care sometimes.
Whenever we visit in Chinese houses, my husband generally tries to
rejoin me when he can, knowing that my knowledge of Chinese cannot
carry me very far, and that consequently my intercourse with the
ladies of the house is apt to become rather fatiguing to both parties
after a time. On one occasion I was surprised to see him come in so
very soon, and with two young men. One of the young fellows said to me
in a good-humoured way, "We want him to enjoy himself, and we notice
he is never so happy as when he is with you. Oh, yes! we have husbands
like that too." One of the governors of Chungking was said, indeed, to
be so fond of his wife as to order naval reviews on the river for her
amusement. He built a specially pretty pavilion in the highest part of
the city for her to have dinner parties there, and possibly it may
have been partly grief over her loss--she died of the fright caused by
a very great fire that all but burnt their official residence--that
made him afterwards go out of his mind for a time. Another Chinese
official, ordered to take up high office in Tibet, was so determined
his wife should accompany him, that, as the Tibetans will not allow
Chinese women to pass a barrier a few miles beyond Tachienlu for fear
of the Chinese settling down and overrunning the country, he had her
dressed as a man and carried in a sedan-chair, which she never got out
of. So it seems some Chinese husbands value their wives beyond the
price they pay for them. But with our servants that last seemed to be
all they thought of. And yet I still hear the soft caressing tones in
which our head servant's wife used always to address him. She was a
very plain woman, but so quiet, and made so little demands for
herself, wanting always apparently only to be serviceable, that as her
husband rose in social position and wealth it always touched me to
see the way in which this honest, homely creature would look round on
the fine ladies she was brought in contact with, and who at first
tried to put her down, but were always in the end won over by her
perfectly unassuming manners.
Another woman's husband was a man of violent temper, who insisted upon
her working very hard; and the result was continual bickering between
the couple, which frequently led to the interchange of blows and bad
language. The wife appealed on several occasions to her mother's
people for protection; but after trying to comfort her, they always
sent her back to her husband. About a month after the marriage the
husband ordered his wife one day to go and cut firewood on the hills;
but not having been accustomed to carry burdens, she declined to go,
and received in consequence a severe beating. A little later she was
again beaten and abused by her husband for not washing his clothes
clean enough. About the same time she made use of a sum of 400 cash
(not quite a shilling) belonging to her husband; and when he
discovered the fact, he gave her a sound thrashing with a stick, and
vowed that he would repeat the treatment on the following day if she
did not produce the money. A month passed, during which continued
squabbling occurred between the man and his wife, the latter having
frequently to go without food, and being threatened with a divorce for
her bad behaviour. At last the woman, exasperated by the treatment she
was receiving and dreading the disgrace of a divorce, determined to
make away with her husband. A year before, while still unmarried, she
had accompanied an old woman in the village on a herb-gathering
expedition on the hills, and remembered her companion pointing out to
her a poisonous plant, which, if eaten, cut asunder the intestines and
caused sudden death. Having gone on several occasions to gather
firewood, she kept careful watch for this particular plant, and
succeeded in collecting a handful, which she hid away until she could
find a favourable moment for making use of it. At last she found her
opportunity one day when her father-in-law, her husband's brothers,
and her sister-in-law all happened to be from home, and only she and
her husband were left in charge of the house. Shortly after noon she
began to prepare the evening meal, and poured over the vegetables the
infusion obtained by boiling the poisonous plant. She handed his
supper to her husband, left their portion for the remainder of the
family, and then went out on the excuse of having to make some
purchases. The father and his three sons returned shortly afterwards;
and being hungry after their day's work, they all partook heartily of
the poisoned food. Symptoms of poisoning very soon followed, and the
whole family was found by a neighbour lying on the floor in a state of
great agony. Two of them were saved by means of emetics; but the
father, the woman's husband, and a brother of the latter all died the
same night. The woman was found, and handed over to the authorities,
who, after a protracted trial, in which she declared her innocence,
found her guilty of the murder. She was condemned to death by the
lingering process on two different counts, and would, as the law
provides, receive some additional slashes of the knife at the time of
the execution. All the poisonous herbs in the district were ordered to
be removed, so as to prevent the repetition of such a crime in future.
When a parricide occurred in ancient times, the authorities used to
order that the whole city, where such a hideous crime had been
committed, should be razed to the ground; and on the Yangtse the
traveller sees the ancient site of the city of Chungchow on an island
without now a house upon it, because of such a crime, the city having
by order been moved to the river-bank, where it now stands among its
groves of waving bamboos.
[Illustration: NEW KWEICHOW, BUILT BY ORDER.
_By Mrs. Archibald Little._]
The following story tells again of wifely affection, and incidentally
throws a little light upon Chinese clairvoyance, a subject which seems
to attract more attention in England than in China now.
A Nanking lady was sad, very sad. Her husband had left her for
business far away, and had sent home only a few letters. Many times
did she send word by his friends requesting him to return, but he did
not come. At last, in despair, she called in a fortune-teller, who was
supposed to be endowed with supernatural knowledge of everything past,
present, and future. After consulting his books, the fortune-teller's
face assumed a thoughtful and anxious expression. In trembling accents
he addressed the sad wife thus: "O lady, your husband has changed his
sphere of business many, many times. Ill-luck has pursued him
everywhere. Money he has now none; but, what is worse, he is lying
dangerously ill in a lonely inn, hundreds of miles from here." The
wretched lady was heartbroken, and began to weep copiously. The
fortune-teller comforted her, and rapidly turning over the leaves of
his mystic book, he joyously exclaimed, "Saved!" Then he explained
that a certain lucky star was obscured by a dark cloud; and that if it
could be made to shine again, her husband would rise from his bed of
sickness, and make a great deal of money. About two shillings was the
sum charged for working the miracle of dispelling the dark cloud.
While the fortune-teller was on his knees, earnestly praying his god
to deliver the absent husband from the clutches of the evil one, who
was obscuring the lucky star, the door was abruptly pushed open, and
there, standing on the threshold with a bag over his shoulder, full of
shoes of silver and gold bars, was the long-absent husband. The wife
gave a cry of joy and rushed forward. The confused fortune-teller,
terribly frightened, hurriedly sought an exit by the back door, but
slipped, fell, sprained his ankle, and broke his head. The husband did
not wish to mar the joy of his return by any harsh measures, and let
off the now thoroughly wretched fortune-teller with a reprimand.
Births, marriages, and deaths follow each other in all our newspapers.
I will not say more about births than that the Chinese are all born
with a round black mark about the size of a penny at the base of the
spine. It disappears generally before they reach eight years old.
As to deaths, all the money that is left from weddings may be said to
be spent upon funerals, which are the grand moment of a Chinaman's
life. Then Taoist priests are called in to officiate; for whilst every
one belongs to the three religions in China, each religion especially
takes certain parts of life for its care. The best sites are reserved
for graves; the best wood is used for coffins; the merriest music to
our ears is that heard at funerals. But of all funerals of which I
have heard, I think this one is the most amusing. A woman about fifty
years old, fearing that her son, a worthless spendthrift, would not
accord her a grand funeral after her death, hit upon the plan of
enjoying one before that event. She fixed a day, notified her friends
and relations to come dressed in mourning, hired many priests and
monks and all the paraphernalia usual at funerals, including a
splendid coffin and a green baize sedan-chair. Amidst much weeping and
praying she was carried all about the city in the sedan-chair,
followed by the coffin and surrounded by mourners. Can any one living,
ever before or since, have been so perfectly happy? For, as a rule,
attaining the highest earthly bliss, we fear its loss or diminution;
but this woman had nothing to fear. She had had her funeral.