A general, though superficial acquaintance with such subjects as
well-educated men and women talk about in mixed society is absolutely
necessary. A practised eye will easily distinguish the silence of modest
attention from the mute weariness of ignorance. The most inveterate talker,
if he be not quite a fool, desires to be listened to as well as heard; and
a "yes" or a "no" may be placed and accented so as to show intelligence, or
betray stupidity. Grace in action and deportment is so essential, that it
may almost be said to make all that is beautiful in beauty. We do not mean
that a lady should, in dancing, walking, or sitting, display attitudes
worthy of a painter's model. In walking we, however, recommend something
between the listless saunter of a she-dandy, and the bustling gait of a
notable body, who perhaps saves three minutes out of four-and-twenty hours,
by doing every thing throughout the day with a jerk and a toss.--Dancing,
unless it be done quietly and gracefully, without the fatal results of a
shining face, and red neck and arms, it is far better to forbear
altogether, it being a very superfluous quality in a gentlewoman; whereas
_to please_ by all honest means is her proper calling and occupation. A
high degree of _positive_ grace is very rare, especially in northern
climates, where the form is degraded and spoiled by ligatures and by cold;
but every woman may attain to _negative_ grace, by avoiding awkward and
unmeaning habits. The incessant twirling of a reticule, the assiduous
pulling of the fingers of a glove, opening and shutting a book, swinging a
bell-rope, &c. betray either impatience and weariness of the conversation,
disrespect of the speakers, or a want of ease and self-possession by no
means inseparably connected with modesty and humility; those persons who
are most awkward and shy among their superiors in rank or information being
generally most over-bearing and peremptory with their equals or inferiors.
We are almost ashamed, in the nineteenth century, to say any thing
concerning personal neatness; but cannot forbear hinting, that clean gloves
and neat shoes aid the captivating powers of a lady much more certainly
than pearl ear-rings or gold chains--that clean muslin is more bewitching
than dirty _blond lace_--and that a pocket-handkerchief should be like a
basilisk, a thing heard of, but never seen; we mean in the capacity in
which our cold-catching, rheum-exciting climate calls it into action.
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