but owing to a hurly burly of business I have not been able to do so
till now, late in the evening, after returning from a walk during
which, in the charming summer-night's air, with moonlight and the
rustling of poplar-leaves, I have brushed off the dust of the day's
documents. On Saturday, in the afternoon, I went with Rochow and Lynar
to Rüdesheim, hired a boat there, rowed out on the Rhine, and swam in
the moonlight, nothing but nose and eyes over the tepid water, as far
as the Mouse Tower near Bingen, where the wicked bishop met his death.
There is something strangely dreamlike in thus lying in the water on a
quiet, warm night, carried gently along by the tide, seeing only the
sky with moon and stars, and, alongside, the wooded hill-tops and the
castle battlements in the moonlight, hearing nothing but the gentle
purling of one's own motion. I should like to swim thus every evening.
Then I drank some very nice wine, and sat for a long time smoking,
with Lynar, on the balcony, the Rhine beneath us. My little Testament
and the starry firmament caused our conversation to turn on Christian
topics, and I hammered for a long time at the Rousseau-like chastity
of his soul, with no other effect than to cause him to remain silent.
He was ill-treated while a child by nurses and private tutors, without
having really learned to know his parents, and by reason of a similar
bringing-up he has retained from his youthful days opinions similar to
my own, but has always been more satisfied with them than I ever was.
Next morning we went by steamer to Coblentz, breakfasted there for an
hour, and returned by the same route to Frankfort, where we arrived in
the evening. I really undertook the expedition with the object of
visiting old Metternich at Johannisberg; he had invited me, but the
Rhine pleased me so much that I preferred to take a pleasure ride to
Coblentz, and postponed the call. You and I saw him that time on our
trip directly after the Alps, and in bad weather; on this summer
morning, and after the dusty tedium of Frankfort, he again rose high
in my esteem. I promise myself much relish from spending a few days
with you at Rüdesheim, the place is so quiet and country-like, good
people and low-priced, and then we shall hire a little rowboat, ride
leisurely down, climb the Niederwald, and this and that castle, and
return by the steamer. One can leave here early in the morning, remain
for eight hours at Rüdesheim, Bingen, Rheinstein, etc., and be here
again at night. My appointment at this place does not appear to be
certain, and Hans is going to Coblentz as Lord-Lieutenant; will live
there in a stately palace, with the finest view in all Prussia. By
leaving here early, one reaches Coblentz by half past ten, and is back
in the evening; that is easier than from Reinfeld to Reddentin, and a
prettier road. You see we are not forsaken here; but who would have
thought, when we went to the wedding in Kiekow, that both of us should
be removed from our innocent Pomeranian solitude and hurled to the
summits of life, speaking in worldly fashion, to political outposts on
the Rhine? The ways of the Lord are passing strange. May He likewise
take our souls out of their darkness and lift them to the bright
summits of His grace. _That_ position would be more secure. But He has
certainly taken us visibly into His hand, and will not let me fall,
even though I sometimes make myself a heavy weight. The interview with
Lynar the other day has truly enabled me to cast a grateful (but not
pharisaical) glance over the distance which lies between me and my
previous unbelief; may it increase continually, until it has attained
the proper measure. * * * I am already beginning to look about here
for a house, preferably outside of the city, with a garden; there my
darling will have to play a very stiff, self-contained part, see much
tedious society, give dinners and balls, and assume terribly
aristocratic airs. What do you say to having dancing at your house
until far into the night? Probably it cannot be avoided, my beloved
heart--that is part of the "service." I can see mother's blue eyes
grow big with wonder at the thought. I am going to bed, to read
Corinthians i., 3, and pray God to preserve you all to me, and grant
you a quiet night and health and peace. Dearest love to your parents.
Your most faithful
v.B.
Frankfort, April 4, '52.
_Dear Mother_,--I wished to write you today at length, but I do not
know how far I shall progress in it after having given myself up for
so long to enjoyment of Sunday leisure, by taking a long, loitering
walk in the woods, that hardly an hour remains before the closing of
the mail. I found such pretty, solitary paths, quite narrow, between
the greening hazel and thorn-bushes, where only the thrush and the
glede-kite were heard, and quite far off the bell of the church to
which I was playing truant, that I could not find my way home again.
Johanna is somewhat exhausted, in connection with her condition, or I
should have had her in the woods, too, and perhaps we should still be
there. * * * She has presented me with an exquisite anchor watch, of
which I was much in need, because I always wore her small one. In the
Vincke matter I cannot, with you, sufficiently praise God's mercy that
no misfortune has occurred from any side. I believe that for me it was
inwardly very salutary to have felt myself so near unto death, and
prepared myself for it; I know that you do not share my conception of
such matters, but I have never felt so firm in believing trust, and so
resigned to God's will, as I did in the moment when the matter was in
progress. We can discuss it orally some time; now I only want to tell
you how it happened. I had repeatedly been disgusted by V.'s rudeness
to the government and ourselves, and was prepared resolutely to oppose
him at the next opportunity that offered. He accused me of want of
diplomatic discretion, and said that hitherto the "burning cigar" was
my only known achievement. He alluded to an occurrence at the Palace
of the Diet, of which I had previously told him confidentially, at his
particular request, as of something quite unimportant, but comical. I
then retorted from the platform that his remark overstepped not only
the bounds of diplomatic but also of ordinary discretion, which one
had a right to demand from every man of education. Next day he
challenged me, through Herr von Sauken-Julienfelde, for four
pistol-shots; I accepted it after Oscar Arnim's proposal, that we
should fight with swords, had been declined by Sauken. Vincke wished
to defer the matter for forty-eight hours, which I granted. On the
25th, at 8 A.M., we rode to Tegel; to a charming spot in the woods by
the seashore; it was beautiful weather, and the birds sang so gayly in
the sunshine that, as soon as we entered the wood, all sad thoughts
left me; only the thought of Johanna I had to drive from me by force,
so as not to be affected by it. With me as witnesses were Arnim and
Eberhard Stolberg, and my brother as very dejected spectator. With V.
were Sauken, and Major Vincke of the First Chamber, as well as a
Bodelschwingh (nephew of the Minister and of Vincke), as impartial
witness. The latter declared before the matter began that the
challenge seemed to him to be, under the circumstances, too stringent,
and proposed that it should be modified to one shot apiece. Sauken, in
V.'s name, was agreeable to this, and had word brought to me that the
whole thing should be called off if I declared I was sorry for my
remark. As I could not truthfully do this, we took our positions,
fired at Bodelschwingh's command, and both missed. God forgive the
grave sin that I did not at once recognize His mercy, but I cannot
deny it: when I looked through the smoke and saw my adversary standing
erect, a feeling of disappointment prevented me from participating in
the general rejoicing, which caused Bodelschwingh to shed tears; the
modification of the challenge annoyed me, and I would gladly have
continued the combat. But, as I was not the insulted party, I could
say nothing; it was over, and all shook hands. We rode home and I ate
with my sister alone. All the world was dissatisfied with the outcome,
but the Lord must know what He still intends to make of V. In cool
blood, I am certainly very grateful that it happened so. What probably
contributed much to it was the fact that a couple of very good
pistols, which were originally intended to be used, were so loaded
that for the moment they were quite useless, and we had to take those
intended for the seconds, with which it was difficult to hit. An
official disturbance has interrupted me, and now I must close--time is
up. Only I still want to say that I had consulted beforehand, about
the duel, with old Stolberg, General Gerlach, Minister Uhden and Hans;
they were all of opinion that it must be; Büchsel, too, saw no
alternative, although he admonished me to desist. I spent an hour in
prayer, with him and Stolberg, the evening before. I never doubted
that I should have to appear, but I did doubt whether I should shoot
at V. I did it without anger, and missed. Now farewell, my dearly
beloved mother. Give love to father and every one from
Your faithful son, v.B.
Vienna, June 14, '52.
_My Beloved Heart_,--At this hour I ought to sit down and write
a long report to his Majesty concerning a lengthy and fruitless
negotiation which I had today with Count Buol, and concerning an
audience with the Archduchess Empress-Dowager. But I have just taken
a promenade on the high ramparts all round the inner city, and from
them seen a charming sunset behind the Leopoldsberg, and now I am much
more inclined to think of you than of business. I stood for a long
time on the red Thor Tower, which commands a view of the Jägerzeil
and of our old-time domicile, the Lamb, with the café before it; at
the Archduchess' I was in a room which opens on the homelike little
garden into which we once secretly and thoughtlessly found our way;
yesterday I heard _Lucia_--Italian, very good; all this so stirs
my longing for you that I am quite sad and incapable. For it is terrible
to be thus alone in the world, when one is no longer accustomed to it; I
am in quite a Lynaric mood. Nothing but calls, and coming to know
strangers, with whom I am always having the same talk. Every one knows
that I have not yet been here very long, but whether I was ever here
before; that is the great question which I have answered two hundred
times in these days, and happy that that topic still remains. For folk
bent on pleasure this may be a very pretty place, for it offers whatever
is capable of affording outward diversion to people. But I am longing
for Frankfort as if it were Kniephof, and do not wish to come here by
any means. F. must lie just where the sun went down, over the
Mannhartsberg yonder; and, while it was sinking here, it still continued
shining with you for over half an hour. It is terribly far. How
different it was with you here my heart, and with Salzburg and Meran in
prospect; I have grown terribly old since then. * * * It is very cruel
that we must spend such a long period of our brief life apart; that time
is lost, then, and cannot be brought back. God alone knows why He allows
others to remain together who are quite at their ease when apart; like
an aged friend of mine, who travelled with me as far as Dresden had to
sit in the same compartment with his wife all the time, and could not
smoke; and we must always correspond at a great distance. We shall make
up for it all, and love each other a great deal more when we are again
together; if only we keep well! Then I shall not murmur. Today I had the
great pleasure of receiving, _via_ Berlin, your letter of last Thursday;
that is the second one since I left Frankfort; surely none is lost? I
was very happy and thankful that all of you are well. * * * As soon as I
find myself once more on the old, tiresome Thuringian railroad I shall
be out of myself, and still more so when I catch a glimpse of our light
from Bockenheim; I must travel about nine hundred miles thither, not
including two hundred and fifty miles from Pesth back to this place. How
gladly I shall undertake them, once I am seated in the train! I shall
probably abandon my trip by way of Munich; from this place to M. is a
post-trip of fifty hours; by water still longer; and I shall have to
render a verbal report in Berlin, anyway. About politics I can,
fortunately, write nothing; for, even if the English courier who takes
this to Berlin is a safeguard against our post-office, the Taxis
scoundrels will, nevertheless, get hold of it.
Be sure to write me detailed information as to your personal
condition. Greet mother, our relations, if they are still there,
Leontine, the children, Stolberg, Wentzel, and all the rest. Farewell
my angel. God preserve you.
Your most faithful v.B.
Ofen, June 23, '52.
_My Darling_,--I have just left the steamer, and do not know how
better to utilize the moment at my disposal until Hildebrand follows
with my things than by sending you a love-token from this far-easterly
but pretty spot. The Emperor has graciously assigned me quarters in
his palace, and I am sitting here in a large vaulted chamber at the
open window, into which the evening bells of Pesth are pealing. The
view outward is charming. The castle stands high; immediately below me
the Danube, spanned by the suspension-bridge; behind it Pesth, which
would remind you of Dantzig, and farther away the endless plain
extending far beyond Pesth, disappearing in the bluish-red dusk of
evening. To the left of Pesth I look up the Danube, far, very far,
away; to my left, _i.e._, on the right-hand shore, it is fringed first
by the city of Ofen, behind it hills like the Berici near Venetia blue
and bluer, then bluish-red in the evening sky, which glows behind. In
the midst of both cities is the large sheet of water as at Linz,
intersected by the suspension-bridge and a wooded island. It is really
splendid; only you, my angel, are lacking for me to enjoy this
prospect _with you_; then it would be _quite_ nice. Then, too, the
road hither, at least from Gran to Pesth, would have pleased you.
Imagine Odenwald and Taunus moved close together, the waters of the
Danube filling the interval; and occasionally, particularly near
Wisserad, a little Dürrenstein-Agstein. The shady side of the trip was
the sunny side; it burned as if they wanted tokay to grow on the
steamer, and the crowd of travelers was large; but, just imagine, not
one Englishman; it must be that they have not yet discovered Hungary.
For the rest, there were queer fellows enough, dirty and washed, of
all Oriental and Occidental nations. * * * By this time I am becoming
impatient as to Hildebrand's whereabouts; I am lying in the window,
half musing in the moonlight, half waiting for him as for a mistress,
for I long for a clean shirt. * * * If you were here for only a
moment, and could contemplate now the dull, silvery Danube, the dark
hills on a pale-red background, and the lights which are shining up
from Pesth below, Vienna would lose much in your estimation compared
to Buda-Pescht, as the Hungarian calls it. You see I am not only a
lover, but also an enthusiast, for nature. Now I shall soothe my
excited blood with a cup of tea, after Hildebrand has actually put in
an appearance, and shall then go to bed and dream of you, my love.
Last night I had only four hours of sleep, and the court here is
terribly matutinal; the young gentleman himself rises as early as five
o 'clock, so that I should be a bad courtier if I were to sleep much
longer. Therefore I bid you good-night from afar, with a side-glance
at a gigantic teapot and an enticing plate of cold jellied cuts,
tongue, as I see, among the rest. Where did I get that song that
occurs to me continually today--"_Over the blue mountain, over the
white sea-foam, come, thou beloved one, come to thy lonely home_"? I
don't know who must have sung that to me, some time in _auld lang
syne_. May God's angels keep you today as hitherto.
Your most faithful v.B.
The 24th.
After having slept very well, although on a wedge-shaped pillow, I bid
you good-morning, my heart. The whole panorama before me is bathed in
such a bright, burning sun that I cannot look out at all without being
blinded. Until I begin my calls I am sitting here breakfasting and
smoking all alone in a very spacious apartment--four rooms, all
thickly vaulted, two something like our dining-room in size, thick
walls as at Schönhausen, gigantic nut-wood closets, blue silk
furnishings, a profusion of large spots on the floor, an ell in size,
which a more excited fancy than mine might take for blood, but which I
decidedly declare to be ink; an unconscionably awkward scribe must
have lodged here, or another Luther repeatedly hurled big inkstands
at his opponents. * * * Exceedingly strange figures, brown, with broad
hats and wide trousers, are floating about on long wooden rafts in the
Danube below. I regret I am not an artist; I should like to let you
see these wild faces, mustached, long-haired with excited black eyes,
and the ragged, picturesque drapery which hangs about them, as they
appeared to me all day yesterday. * * * Farewell, my heart. God bless
you and our present and future children.
Your most faithful v.B.
Evening.
I have not yet found an opportunity to send this. Again the lights are
shining up from Pesth, lightning appears on the horizon in the
direction of the Theiss, and there is starlight above us. I have been
in uniform most of the day, handed my credentials to the young ruler
of this country at a solemn audience, and received a very pleasing
impression of him--twenty-year-old vivacity, coupled with studied
composure. He _can_ be very winning, I have seen that; whether he
always will, I do not know, and he need not, for that matter. At any
rate, he is for this country exactly what it needs, and more than that
for the peace of its neighbors, if God does not give him a
peace-loving heart. After dinner all the court went on an excursion
into the mountains, to a romantic spot called the Pretty Shepherdess,
who has long been dead, King Matthias Corvinus having loved her many
hundred years ago. Thence the view is over woody hills, like those on
the Neckar banks to Ofen, its castle, and the plain. A popular
festival had brought thousands up to it, and the Emperor, who mingled
with them, was surrounded with noisy cheers; Czardas danced, waltzed,
sang, played, climbed into the trees, and crowded the court-yard. On a
grassy slope was a supper-table of about twenty persons, sitting along
one side only, leaving the other free for a view of wood, hill, city,
and country, high beeches over us, with Hungarians climbing among the
branches; behind us a densely crowded and crowding mass of people near
by, and, beyond, alternate horn-music and singing, wild gipsy
melodies. Illumination, moonlight, and evening glow, interspersed with
torches through the wood; the whole might have been served, unaltered,
as a great scenic effect in a romantic opera. Beside me sat the
whitebearded Archbishop of Gran, primate of Hungary, in a black silk
talar, with a red cape; on the other side a very amiable and elegant
general of cavalry, Prince Liechtenstein. You see, the painting was
rich in contrasts. Then we rode home by moonlight, escorted by
torches; and while I smoke my evening cigar I am writing to my
darling, and leaving the documents until tomorrow. * * * I have
listened today to the story of how this castle was stormed by the
insurgents three years ago, when the brave General Hentzi and the
entire garrison were cut down after a wonderfully heroic defence. The
black spots on my floor are in part burns, and where I am now writing
to you the shells then danced about, and the combat finally raged on
top of smoking _débris_. It was only put in order again a few weeks
ago, against the Emperor's arrival. Now it is very quiet and cozy up
here; I hear only the ticking of a clock and distant rolling of wheels
from below. For the second time from this place I bid you good-night
in the distance. May angels watch over you--a grenadier with a
bear-skin cap does that for me here; I see his bayonet two arm-lengths
away from me, projecting six inches above the windowsill, and
reflecting my light. He is standing on the terrace over the Danube,
and is, perhaps, thinking of his Nan, too.
Tomsjönäs, August 16, '57.
_My Dearest,_--I make use again of the Sunday quiet to give you a sign
of life, though I do not know what day there will be a chance to send
it out of this wilderness to the mail. I rode about seventy miles
without break, through the desolate forest, in order to reach here,
and before me lie more than a hundred miles more before one gets to
provinces of arable land. Not a city, not a village, far and wide;
only single settlers in wide huts, with a little barley and potatoes,
who find rods of land to till, here and there between dead trees,
pieces of rock, and bushes. Picture to yourself about five hundred
square miles of such desolate country as that around Viartlum, high
heather, alternating with short grass and bog, and with birches,
junipers pines, beeches, oaks, alders, here impenetrably thick, there
thin and barren of foliage, the whole strewn with innumerable stones
of all sizes up to that of a house, smelling of wild rosemary and
rosin, at intervals wonderfully shaped lakes surrounded by woods and
hills of the heath, then you have the land of Smaa, where I am just
now. Really, the land of my dreams, inaccessible to despatches,
colleagues, and Reitzenstein, but unfortunately, to you as well. I
should like ever so much to have a hunting-castle on one of these
quiet lakes and inhabit it for some months with all the dear ones whom
I think of now as assembled in Reinfeld. In winter, to be sure, it
would not be endurable here, especially in the mud that all the rain
would make. Yesterday we turned out at about five, hunted, in burning
heat, up-hill and down, through bush and fen, until eleven, and found
absolutely nothing; walking in bogs and impenetrable juniper thickets,
on large stones and timbers, is very fatiguing. Then we slept in a
hay-shed until two o'clock, drank lots of milk, and hunted again until
sunset, bringing down twenty-five grouse and two mountain-hens. I shot
four of the former; Engel, to his great delight, one of the latter.
Then we dined in the hunting-lodge, a remarkable wooden building on a
peninsula in the lake. My sleeping-room and its three chairs, two
tables, and bedstead are of no other color than that of the natural
pine-boards, like the whole house, whose walls are made of these. A
sofa does not exist; bed very hard; but after such hardships as ours
one does not need to be rocked to sleep. From my window I see a
blooming hill rise from the heath, on it birches rocking in the wind,
and between them I see, in the lake mirror, pine-woods on the other
side. Near the house a camp has been put up for hunters, drivers,
servants, and peasants, then the barricade of wagons, a little city of
dogs, eighteen or twenty huts on both sides of a lane which they form;
from each a throng looks out tired from yesterday's hunt. * * *
Petersburg, April 4, '59.
_My Dear Heart_,--Now that the rush of today noon is past, I sit down
in the evening to write you a few more lines in peace. When I closed
my letter today I did it with the intention of writing to you next a
birthday letter, and thought I had plenty of time for it; it is only
the 23d of March here. I have thought it over, and find that a letter
must go out today exactly to reach Frankfort on the 11th; it is hard
to get used to the seven days' interval which the post needs. So I
hurry my congratulations. May God grant you His rich blessing in soul
and body, for all your love and truth, and give you resignation and
contentment in regard to the various new conditions of life, contrary
to your inclinations, which you will meet here. We cannot get rid of
the sixtieth degree of latitude, and we have not chosen our own lot.
Many live happily here, although the ice is still solid as rock, and
more snow fell in the night, and there are no garden and no Taunus
here.