Mr. Thompson. That is my name." He handed over a bit of pasteboard,
inscribed;
MR. J.F. MITCHELL
"On Vesey Street now, just south of Barclay Street Ferry. I'll jot
down the number--you want to come round and look me up. Sorry I can't
ask you to use my house for headquarters. Wife's away to Bar Harbor
for the summer, and I'm camping out in a hotel. Tell you what,
though--you put up at my caravanserai--the Cornucopia--good house,
treat you well. I'll be busy a day or so catching up after my trip
up-state, but after that I'll show you around. But perhaps you've been
here before?"
"Not I," said Steve. "My first trip. Haven't been out of Montana since
I was a kid. I'm sure glad to meet a friend so soon."
"Lots of Montana people here," said Mitchell cheerily. "We'll look
'em up. Probably find some of your old friends. People here from
everywhere. Say--Judge Harney got into a bad mix-up, didn't he? That
young Charley Clark is a devil. I've met him up here." With this he
launched into a discussion of Butte, with inquiries as to various
figures of local prominence, from which Steve was fain to escape by
turning the talk on his final good luck, the sale of his mine and his
rosy prospects. For Mitchell had "crammed up" on Butte industriously.
Steve lacked his facilities, his sole source of information being
certain long-past campfire tales of Neighbor Jones.
"Made it at last, did you? Glad to hear it. Can't keep a good man
down, as the whale said to Jonah," said Mitchell heartily. "'But
with all thy getting, get understanding,'" he quoted with unctuous
benevolence. "The city is full of traps for the unwary. You can't be
too careful, young man. Don't be drawn into gambling, or drinking, or
fast company, or you'll be robbed before you know it. Watch out for
pickpockets, and, above all, be chary of making acquaintance with
strangers. They're sly down here, my boy--devilish sly. Have you any
friends in town? If you have, get them to go around with you till you
learn the ropes."
"Don't know a soul but you," said Steve truthfully. "But I have a
letter here to the people who are putting the sale through. Do you
know these people?"
"Atwood, Strange & Atwood," Mitchell read. "A good, reliable firm.
I don't know them, but I know of 'em. They will advise you just as I
do."
"But," objected Steve, "I want to see a good time. That's what I come
for. For instance, I want to see the races. And naturally, I want to
put up a few dollars to make it interesting."
"Bad business--bad business," admonished the elder man wisely. "I
don't object to a quiet game of cards myself, among friends, and for
modest stakes. But I can't afford to do anything to hurt my business
reputation. Let a man of small means, like myself, play the ponies, or
affect shady company, and what happens? All the banks know it at once,
and shut down on loans instanter. They keep tab on all business men
religiously."
"What's your line?" said Steve, impressed.
"Mainly buying on commission for Mexican and South American
trade--though I handle a good many orders for country dealers, too,"
replied Mitchell. "My specialty is agricultural implements, barbed
wire, machinery and iron stuff generally, for the export trade.
There's things about it would surprise you. Why, such things, farm
machinery more especially, retail in Buenos Ayres at from 40 to 60 per
cent, of what they do here, after paying freight charges and a snug
commission to me."
"How can they do it?" asked Steve, interested.
Mitchell plunged into an explanation of the workings of the tariff and
its effect on home prices. He had it at his fingers' end. Under his
skillful hands the dry subject became really interesting, embellished
with a wealth of illustration and anecdote. He was still deep in
his exposition, when, beyond Scranton, a hand was laid on his arm. A
dapper, little, dark man, with twinkling, black eyes and pointed black
beard, stood in the aisle.
"Well, Mitchell!" he said, with an affectionate pat. "Still riding
your hobby?"
The fat man jumped up, beaming. "Loring! by all that's holy! Let me
make you acquainted with my friend. Mr. Thompson--Mr. Loring. Mr.
Loring is one of our rising young artists."
"The rising young artist," said Loring with a flash of white teeth,
"is trying to get up a whist game, to pass away the time. Will you
gentlemen assist?" He turned aside in a paroxysm of coughing.
"Certainly, certainly--that is, if Mr. Thompson plays.----That's a bad
cough you've got there, Loring."
"Yes--caught cold fishing," said the artist. "Will you join us, Mr.
Thompson?"
"Glad to," said that worthy. "Only my game is bumble-puppy. You can
hardly call it whist. Who's the fourth?"
"Yet to be found," laughed Loring. After a few rebuffs they picked up
a drummer, and adjourned to the smoker, buying a deck from the train
boy. The little dark man and Steve played against the other two, a
suitcase on their knees serving as a table. They played a rubber.
Steve verified his statements as to his style of play.
"Well, that's enough--nearly in," said Loring, as they drew near their
destination.
"Yes, indeed. I must go back to my car. We've had a pleasant game,"
said the fourth man, taking his leave.
"Have a smoke--you'll find these A 1," said the artist. "Say,
Mitchell, I've learned a new trick to illustrate the old saying that
the hand is quicker than the eye." Sticking a cigar in the corner of
his mouth, he ran over the cards swiftly, took out the two red jacks,
and held them up, one in each hand, backs toward himself, faces to
Mitchell and Steve.
"Now," he said, "you can put these two jacks in the deck wherever you
wish, shuffle them all you please, let me give them just one riffle,
and you'll find them both together." He put his handkerchief to his
lips and turned away to cough, laying the two jacks face downward on
the table.
With a nudge to Steve, Mitchell threw the jack of hearts under
Loring's seat, where it lay, face up, substituting therefor the five
of clubs from the top of the deck.
Loring held the cards up again. "There are the two jacks, gentlemen:
the two inseparable jacks. Put them in for yourselves, and watch
me--_close_!"
Steve took the five of clubs and put it in the middle. Mitchell put
in the jack of diamonds. Both shuffled. Loring cut the pack into
two equal parts, using only the extreme tip ends of his fingers, and
shoved them together in the same fashion. Balancing the deck on the
open palm of his left hand, he turned the cards carefully with his
right thumb and forefinger, keeping up a running fire of comment.
"Now watch me! This trick won't work with any other cards but the
jacks. The reason is easy to see. Where you find one knave there's
always another close by. 'Birds of a feather flock together,' you
know. Ah! here we are!" He turned over the knave of diamonds, and laid
the deck down. "Now," he said to Mitchell, "what'll you bet the next
card isn't the knave of hearts?" Here he was again attacked by that
excruciating cough.
As he turned away Mitchell slyly turned up the corner of the next
card, winking at Steve. It was the five of clubs. Evidently Loring had
done the trick right, except for the substituted card.
"I'll bet you five hundred dollars!" said Mitchell jubilantly. He
drew out a billbook and shook a handful of notes at the artist. "A
thousand, if you like!"
"Nobody wants to rob you, Mitchell," laughed Loring. "Put up your
money. I don't need it. I'll do the trick, of course." Steve was
laughing immoderately.
"Rob me! Go ahead! You're welcome!" said Mitchell, riotously radiant.
He waved the bills before Loring's eyes. "Money talks! Yah! You
haven't the nerve to bet on it," he taunted, his knee touching Steve's
under the table.
Loring's black eyes snapped maliciously. "Oh, well, you insist on it,"
he said. "I've warned you now, remember! No rebate on this. How much?"
He pulled out a fat rubber-banded roll and began stripping bills from
the outside.
"A thousand--all you want!" shouted Mitchell, in high glee. "Getting
on, Thompson?"
Steve, still laughing, shook his head. "I'll be stakeholder," he said
in a choking voice.
The black-eyed man shot a malevolent glance at him as they put up the
money in his hands. For he had a supernumerary jack of hearts, neatly
palmed, to turn up if Steve "bit." This quickly disappeared, however,
or rather did not appear at all. With an expectant smile the artist
turned up from the top of the deck the five of clubs. He looked at it
in stupefied amazement, which, if not real, was well invented.
Mitchell roared and pounded the suitcase. "Oh, _Loring_!" he gasped,
drying his eyes. "You _will_ teach an old dog new tricks, will you?
My stars, but you're easy!" Retook the cash from the grinning
stakeholder, counted out Loring's half and pushed it over to that much
discomfited gentleman. "I don't want to rob you!" he quoted mockingly.
"But if I had time I'd have kept you on the anxious seat a while.
There's your jack of hearts, under your feet!"
"Why, you fat, old swindler! You white-headed outrage--you--you Foxy
Grandpa!" cried Loring in blushing chagrin--not wholly dissembled,
either. "I ought to make you eat it. Come, have a drink." He led the
way, the others following with gibe and jeer.
"Why didn't you bet with him, Thompson?" demanded Mitchell, still
shaking with Homeric laughter. "Say, I should have kept his money, by
good rights. 'Twould have been the joke of the season!"
Steve raised his glass. "I would," he replied innocently, "but I knew
you'd give it back, anyhow, so what's the use--among friends? If it
had been a stranger, now, I'd 'a' hopped on the band-wagon too quick.
I like a little easy money as well as anybody. Well, here's to our
next meeting!"
"Hello!" said Mitchell. "Here's the tunnel and Hoboken. Let's go back
to our belongings. Now, Thompson, business first and pleasure after,
you know. You take the Barclay Street boat. If I don't get time to see
you before noon to-morrow you run up to the office and see me. It's
only a block from the Cornucopia. I've got to go the other way, and
so does Loring--at least his studio's uptown. I say, Loring, tell Mr.
Thompson what's doing at the theatres. That's in your line."
Loring named several plays, recommending one as particularly good.
In the waiting-room they parted with warm handshakings and great
good-will.
"Do you suppose he's wise?" said Loring, on the ferry.
Mitchell guffawed. "That bumpkin? Not he. The poor, dumb idiot took it
all as a practical joke among friends. Naturally, just as he said, he
thought I'd give you your money back. Glad you had presence of mind
enough to go on through with the five-spot. It's fine business to be
able to think on your feet, especially for us moon-minions. Good
thing it turned out the way it did. He's got perfect confidence in me
now--he's seen me tried, and _knows_ I'm straight. We'll get more out
of him in the long run." He explained Steve's mining expectations at
length.
"I don't like it much," said Loring. "It's a bad sign. My experience
is that it's hard to overreach a man that isn't on the hog himself.
When they're eager to annex something dishonestly you get 'em every
time. Maybe you'll lose him. Why didn't you stay with him? He may not
go to the Cornucopia at all."
"Oh, yes, he will!" said Mitchell confidently. "I am going to play him
for all he's worth, and I want him to feel sure I'm O.K. It might make
him suspicious if I kept at his coat tails. Plenty of time. I won't
even look him up to-morrow. Rig the old joint as my office, and wait
there till he hunts me up. Let him make all the advances, d'ye see?
Teach him bridge, on the square, at night. Let him win a little--just
enough to keep him satisfied with himself--_you_'ll see. Wait till he
draws his wad, and we'll throw the gaff in him to the queen's taste.
If he won't nibble at one hook try another. But, I say, Billy,
you'll have to furnish the scads for bait, in case he don't? rise to
something easy. I know you're flush from that Manning job."
* * * * *
Meantime, with unspoiled and sparkling eye, the inlander saw, broad
sweeping before him, mist-bordered, dream-vast, dim-seen beneath the
lowering sky, the magic city whose pulsings send and call a nation's
life-blood.
The salt tang of the sea was in his nostrils; greetings, many-keyed,
hoarse-whistled by plying craft, were in his ears; creamy-foamed wakes
of turbulent keels, swift-sent or laboring, boiled their swirling
splendor against the black water. Mysterious, couchant, straining, the
bulwarked city rode the waves; a mighty ship, her funnels the great
buildings beyond, where sullen streamers of smoke trailed motionless
and darkling; the indescribable, multitudinous hum of the city's
blended voices for purring of monster engines, deep in her hold; bold
and high, her restless prow swung seaward in majestic curve, impatient
to beat to open main.
This simple young man actually found impressiveness, glamour, even
beauty, in this eye-filling canvas; the crowding of crashing lights
and interwoven shadows, massed, innumerable, bewildering; the turmoil
of confused and broken line, sprawled with tremendous carelessness for
a giant's delight.
Plainer proof of his utter unsophistication could not be. For it is
traditional with, all "correct" and well-informed folk that New York
is hopelessly ugly. It gives one such a superior air to disprize with
easy scorn this greatest of the Gateways of the World.
Chapter IV
"_A good plot, good friends, and full of expectation:
an excellent plot, very good friends_."
Steve went, not to a theatre, but to bed. In the morning, after a
few inquiries, he sauntered round to get his bearings. He made these
explorations afoot, opining that, at first, the use of street cars or
the "L" would tend to confuse his orientation. He contented himself
with locating 25 Broad Street, without presenting his letter.
Incidentally, he left most of his cash in a safe-deposit drawer.
"For," he mused, "the touching attachment of my open-handed,
prepossessing friend may not always ad-here to the lofty plane
recognized by business ethics. He may, at any time, abandon the
refined and artistic methods of high finance for primitive, crude and
direct means unworthy of his talents. The safe side of a safe is the
inside of a safe."
So back by the water-front, where he spent a pleasant and interesting
forenoon. At one o'clock there were still no signs of Mitchell. So
Steve, Mahomet-like, sought his office.
The _mise-en-scene_ was admirable. A well-littered desk, two 'phones,
code-book, directory, typewriter, file-books, a busy bookkeeper, a
fair stenographer--no detail was omitted. Mitchell, pacing the floor,
paused in his dictation to give him a cheerful greeting.
"Hello, Thompson--up already? Just sit down till I'm through here,
will you? Most done. How'd you like to walk around the docks? That
ought to interest you. All right--thought it would. I've got some
business at No. 4. Make yourself at home. There's the papers--Ready,
Miss Stanley?" Clearing his throat, he put a hand under his coat-tails
and resumed dictation:
"'Melquiades Sandoval y Hijos, Montevidio. Gentlemen: Your order
shipped to-day by steamer Escobar as per your esteemed favor of the
5th. Invoices inclosed. In the item of mowing machines, was unable
to fill order with Nonpareil as desired. Have taken liberty of
substituting fifty Micas, the Mica being the same in every respect
except the name plate. In fact, the two firms, with others, have a
"gentleman's agreement" sharing patents, keeping up separate plants
only to preserve the appearance of competition. (Confound it--excuse
me, Miss Stanley--there's my hobby again. Shouldn't have said that,
but let it go.) Trusting you will find this satisfactory in every
particular, and hoping to be favored by your future orders, I am,
etc.'--Got that? Next!
"'Brown, Small & VanRiper, Hartford, Ct. Gentlemen: Inclosed find my
check for $27,000, to be used in the matter we discussed the other
day. Kindly send papers to my lawyers, Reed, Reed, Perkins & Reed.
"'Am sorry I cannot more largely avail myself of the privilege so
kindly extended me. At the present, however, my capital is tied up in
various enterprises, and I am really crowding myself to raise this.
Thanking you for past favors, etc.'--Here's the last. 'Mr. Joseph
Yates, Rehobeth Beach, Delaware. Dear old Joe: Sorry to hear of your
undeserved bad luck. While not exactly a financial Napoleon these
days, I am able to accommodate you, and glad to do so. Have not
forgotten the time you helped me out of a mighty tight place. Draw on
me for $10,000 through the Marine. Take your time for repayment. If
this is not enough, let me know. Kind regards to the wife--and take
care of yourself, old man. In haste, your old friend----'
"Pound those off, Miss Stanley. Jim"--this to the silently industrious
bookkeeper--"how much have we got at the Marine?"
After swift search in a little black book the bookkeeper looked
up--"Seven thousand six hundred-twenty, sir," he replied respectfully.
"I'll give you enough to make out ten thousand to honor old Joe's
draft," ruminated Mitchell, twirling the safe-knobs deftly. "You take
it round and deposit it. On your way back jack Stevens up about those
plows. Tell him if he don't get 'em round on time he loses one big
customer--and that's me." Counting out the required amount, he stuffed
the slight remainder in his pocket, slammed shut the safe, signed his
letters briskly, and took up his hat. "Come on, Thompson, we'll be
off."
"Now then," he resumed, in the elevator, "I've got to go down to slip
No. 4, to see about some stuff I'm shipping to Mexico. Walk or ride?
It's only a little ways."
"Let's walk, then," said Steve. "You can tell me about the boats as we
go. That's what takes my eye. What's that big one coming in?"
"Rotterdammer. The one behind her is a coaster--Menacho, Puig & Co.
Look up stream--there's a big Cunarder just swinging out. Hello,
there's the Rosenthal and Montoya stuff now!"
A string of heavily-laden drays moved slowly down the rock-paved
street. "Lights out! Protect yourself!" thought Steve. "I feel a
presentiment that there'll be a heavy transportation bill on that
stuff and that my friend won't have enough cash to settle it. Perhaps
he will accept a temporary accommodation from me. Thompson, he pays
the freight--_nit_!"
This unworthy suspicion proved unfounded. As they watched the rumbling
wagons they were joined by one of businesslike appearance and swift
step.
"Going down, Mitchell? That's your Argentine freights, I suppose? At
least, I recognize your foreman."
Mitchell introduced him: Mr. Archibald, of the Bowring and Archibald
line, in the coastwise and southern trade.
"Just going down to your place, Archie. We _were_ going to walk, but
if you're in a hurry----"
"Not at all. Have a cigar?" said the pseudo-Archibald urbanely.
"You can show my young friend over the boats, if you will," said
Mitchell. "Rank inlander, Thompson. Rather look at a boat than eat.
Been talking boat, boat, boat to me ever since we left the office."
"Happy to do so," said the merchant-mariner. "You'd better take a
little trip with us, Mr. Thompson--say a run down to Havana. Any
friend of Mr. Mitchell's----"
A young man came tearing across the street at a great rate.
"Mitchell!" he shouted. "Mitchell! Look here!" He thrust a telegram
into Mitchell's hand. "Just reached me by A.D.T. from the Carlton. Let
me have some money, will you? About three thousand. Just got time to
catch the next Pennsylvania train and make connections at Baltimore."
Mitchell spread out the yellow slip and read it aloud. "H'm! 'Ponce de
Leon St Augustine Florida John E Bickford The Carlton New York--Come
at once Father worse Doctor orders to Egypt Jennie.' Why sure, my boy.
Here's what cash I got, and I'll give you a check. Too bad, too bad!
By George, I hope your dad pulls through. What! Blame it, I mean
dammit, I've come off without my checkbook. Got yours, Archie?"
Archie patted his pockets. "No, I haven't. Left it in the office. Got
a couple of hundred cash you're welcome to, though."
The young man looked nervously at his watch. Mitchell turned
hesitatingly toward Thompson. But the Westerner did not wait for an
appeal to his generosity. He volunteered, eager to oblige a man of
such large affairs as his substantial friend.
"I'll write you a check. You can just run in to the nearest bank with
me and indorse it, Mr. Mitchell. Sorry I haven't the cash with me."
Thus Steve, his clumsy innocence eluding the toils with all the grace
of an agile hippopotamus.
The grafters glanced at each other. But Mitchell was equal to the
emergency.
"No need to bother you, Mr. Thompson, thanks, all the same," he said
suavely. "Archibald, just give me what you've got and I'll run over to
Jersey City with John. Traffic Manager of the Pennsylvania is a friend
of mine. If he's in his office I'll get it of him. Otherwise, I'll
start John on, and wire balance to him at St. Augustine when I get
back. Wait a minute, John. Got plenty of time to catch the boat. Look
here, Archie--you're not busy, are you?"
"I'm always busy," said the shipowner gayly, "but no more so to-day
than any other day. Why?"
"Oh, well, you can get off. I promised Thompson, here, to do him
the honors, and now I've got to help John out. Oh, you two are not
acquainted, are you? Ex_cuse_ me! Mr. Archibald, Mr. Bickford--Mr.
Thompson, Mr. Bickford. Mr. Bickford's father was a dear old friend of
mine. Once very wealthy, too, but has had reverses. Bless me, how I do
ramble on! Old age, sir, old age! Osler was half right. Now, Archie,
'phone up to your office that you're unavoidably detained and all the
rest of it, like a good fellow, and take my place as cicerone.
Never mind your dinky little boats--take him up and show him the big
fellows--the ocean greyhounds."
"But," objected Archibald, "I've got to go down to the office to get
some money. You've broke me, you shanghaier."
"So I have, so I have!" He peeled off a hundred-dollar-bill, ignoring
Steve's protest. "That enough? I'll fix John up, some way. You're at
Mr. Thompson's orders. Mind, his money isn't any good. I pay for both
of you. Wish it was more, but you see how I'm hooked up. You'll have a
better time with a young fellow like Archie than you would with an
old fogy like me, anyhow. Here, we'll be left!" He made for the ferry
slips with the anxious Bickford.
Thus did the wily Mr. Mitchell justify his headship. In these profuse
strains of unpremeditated art, apparently the merest of rambling
commonplace, he had plainly conveyed to his henchmen that, though
foiled by the countryman's straightforward single-mindedness, they
were not to adopt a policy of scuttle, but persevere in the paths of
manifest destiny to benevolent assimilation; at the same time
adroitly extricating his embarrassed lieutenant from a very present
predicament. Because "Archibald" felt a certain reluctance about
accompanying Steve to Pier Number 4 in the capacity of owner, for the
sufficiently obvious reason that he might be summarily kicked off.
Such a contretemps might give cause for conjecture even in one so
green as his companion, reflected Archie.
He saluted with easy grace. "Orders, captain? Happy to oblige. My
friend's friend is my friend."
Steve saw the big steamships. Thence, at his artless suggestion, they
went to Brooklyn Bridge. Followed rides on the Subway and Elevated,
a viewing of skyscrapers and such innocent and exhilarating delights.
Noting Archibald's well-groomed and natty appearance, Steve naively
asked his advice in matters sartorial, purchasing much raiment and
leaving an order with a fashionable tailor. But, after an _amazing_
dinner at an uptown house of call, Archibald took the reins into his
own guidance, and led him forth to quite other distractions--in the
agricultural quarter of the city, where that popular and ever-blooming
cereal, wild oats, is sown by night and by day.
Behind them the plausible Mr. Mitchell and his old friend's son held
high commune.
"Why, the lantern-jawed, bug-eyed, rubber-necked, double-jointed,
knock-kneed, splay-foot, hair-lipped, putty-brained country Jake!
Did you see him sidestep that?" demanded the aggrieved Bickford,
forgetting, in his pique, his stricken father. "What you want to do
to him is to sandbag him, give him knockout drops, stab him under the
fifth rib! He's too elusive--the devil-sent----" He was proceeding to
further particulars when Mitchell checked him.
"I want you to bear in mind that this is no strong-arm gang, and I'm
neither dip nor climber." His emphasis was withering. "My credit is
involved in this affair now, and I'm going through with it. If he'd
had the dough with him he'd handed it out just like he did the check.
He floundered out through pure, unadulterated innocence. I'll land him
yet. Next time I won't leave the shirt to his back. I tried him with
covetousness. I've tried him with distress. Now I'll tempt him with a
business opportunity--one that he'll have to have cash for. Keep your
eye on your uncle. He'll see you through."
The next day being Sunday, Mitchell took the cowboy to the Speedway,
and back through Central Park, in an auto, frankly hired.
"I can hardly afford to set up one," he confided. "And anyway, I
haven't much leisure. Of course, when a good fellow like you comes
along I can take a day off, once in a way. But generally my nose is
down to the grindstone."
On their way home he pointed out a fine building, ornamented with
a "To Let" sign in the window. "There's a place I used to own,
Thompson," he said. "Belongs to a friend of mine, young Post. One
of the best families--but, poor fellow, he's in trouble now." He
dismissed the subject with a benevolent sigh. "Would you like to go in
and look at it? The caretaker will show it to you. He'll think you're
a prospective buyer. You needn't tell him so, but then again you
needn't tell him any different. There's no harm and it's well worth
seeing."
Thompson, nothing loth, agreed. It was a fine house, as Mitchell had
guessed.
"Gracious!" said Steve, when the inspection was over. "What's such a
house worth?"
"I sold it for forty thousand. It's worth more now."
Steve gazed at him wide-eyed. "My! I shouldn't have thought it worth
that much." (It was, in fact, worth a great deal more.)
"It's the ground that makes it cost so," explained Mitchell. "That's
why the value has increased. The house itself is not worth as much
as when I had it, but land values are coming up by leaps and bounds.
Young man, the ground valuation alone of the six square miles
adjoining Central Park is more than the value of all real estate
in the great commonwealth of Missouri. And it is going higher every
year."
"I don't understand it," said Steve, much impressed.
"Do you understand the philosophy of an artesian well? Yes? Then you
understand this. Every farm cleared, every acre planted, every
mine developed, every baby born, enhances the value of _all_ city
property--and New York's got the biggest standpipe. The back country
soaks up the rain and it is delivered conveniently at our doors
through, underground channels, between the unleaking walls that
confine its flow; our price on the surplus you have to sell and _our_
price on the necessities you buy. Every city taps this flow, be the
pipe large or small; and as I said before, New York has the biggest
gusher.
"We've got the money. So you may do the work and we allow you to get
enough to sustain life, and just as little more as possible. Sell at
our price, buy at our price--we've got you coming and going. You can't
get away.
"You're poor, you take what you can get to pay your debts. That keeps
down prices on what you sell. You've got families, you've got to play.
Yes, yes, quite right, the rules are not _entirely_ fair; we'll revise
them to-morrow, maybe, some time. Let _you_ do it? Tut, tut, no, no!
Why, you object to 'em! That won't do at all. Let the rules be revised
by their friends and beneficiaries, to-morrow, next day, by and by;
busy to-day, stockholders' meeting, dividend declared, good-by! You're
virtually _peons_. Fourth of July, elections and war-times you're
the sovereign people, Tommy this and Tommy-rot; but for all practical
purposes you're _peons_.
"We're rich, we can afford a scratch-my-back-and-I'll-scratch-yours
tariff that keeps our prices up arbitrarily, that takes fifty dollars
out of your pockets to put in ours for every dollar it puts into the
national treasury."
"If the tariff was repealed," said Steve diffidently, "if we
raised money for the National Government, just as we do for county
government----"
"Hush-sh!" said Mitchell, shocked. "That's High Treason--that's
Unconstitutional! Some one will hear you! Then there's another.
_You_ sell at a sacrifice to pay your debts. If we get in debt that's
exactly what we won't do. A poor man goes broke, but a rich man goes
bankrupt. Ever think of that?
"That baby I spoke of will grow up, produce corn, cotton, cattle or
copper, maybe--but the net result of his life will be to enrich the
rich. If, by any means--industry, opportunity, invention, speculation,
dishonesty, chance or inheritance--he gets on top, then the workers
will be working for him by the same law. The fact remains that every
dollar's worth of betterment in the country increases the value of
city property one dollar, without effort to the owner. A city is an
artesian well. Take it from me, Thompson, a man of your ability ought
to make connections and get your little tin pail under."
Chapter V
"_A man so various that he seemed to be
Not one, but all mankind's epitome._"
Thompson sat in his room alone, meditating on Mitchell, statesman and
Political Economist. On the table lay his letter of introduction and
his bad "Souvenir" dollar.
"The meeting will please come to order!" he said, rapping the table
smartly. "The Gentleman from Montana has the floor."
"I move you, Mr. Chairman," said the Gentleman from Montana, "that the
letter of introduction be laid upon the table, and that this House do
now go into Committee of putting the other fellows in the Hole."
No objection being heard, this was done. Steve stared at the tabled
letter with a puzzled frown.
"Gentlemen, the Chair awaits your pleasure," he announced, at last.
"Have you any suggestions to make?"
The Gentleman from Montana again obtained recognition.
"Mr. Speaker, I see here present an ex-member, my _alter ego_, Mr.
Reuben Rubber-Neck, who once parted with six months' wages on another
man's game. Mr. Rubber-Neck is a graduate of the celebrated and
expensive school of Experience, of which it is written that a large
and influential class will learn of no other. As an ex-Member, he is
entitled to the privilege of the floor. I, for one, would like to have
his counsels at this juncture."
Thus appealed to, Mr. Rubber-Neck got stumblingly to his feet with a
gawky and timid demeanor.
"Mr. Chairman, it is not a theory but a hell of a condition that
confronts us," he said, uncertainly. "I think that we should use the
letter so providentially er--um--provided to make friends with the
mammon of righteousness. Two heads are proverbially better than one,
if one _is_ an Expert. It behooves us, for the sake of the near and
dear kinsmen, the Mark brothers, that we should so bear ourselves
toward our generous hosts as to make them feel that they have
entertained a devil unawares. Avenge now the innumerable wrongs of me
and my likes. Before deciding on our line of action, however, I should
like to hear from a learned gentleman in our midst, whose brain is
ever fertile in expedients. I refer to the only one of us who has been
through college--in at the front door and out the back. I call on the
representative of the class of Naughty-naughty!"
He sat down amid vociferous cries of "Hear! Hear!"
The Bookman arose gracefully. "While I thank the gentleman who has
preceded me for his encomiums," he said, with deprecatory modesty,
"yet I can lay no claim for scholastic honors, owing to an unfortunate
difference of opinion with the Faculty in the scorching question of
turning state's evidence concerning the ebullition of class feeling,
in which I was implicated by a black eye or so. I fought the good
fight, I kept the faith, but I did not finish my course. But to return
to our sheep.
"In every crisis, I have always found precedent for action in the
words of the immortal Swan of Avon. What does Will say? He says:
'_Put money in thy purse_!'
"Follows naturally the advice of the melancholy Dane, bearing directly
on the case in hand:
'_Let it work.
'For 'tis the sport to see the engineer
Hoist with his own petard._'
"Again,
'_Look on this picture, then on that!
The counterfeit_.'
"Where is that counterfeit, anyhow?" He took from his pocket a good
silver dollar, compared it thoughtfully with the bad one on the table,
and continued.
"What else? Why, this:
'_Art thou not horribly afeared?... Could the world pick thee three
such enemies again as that fiend Douglas, that spirit Percy, and that
devil Glendower?'_
"Having thus pointed out the danger, he plainly indicates the remedy:
'_Where shall I find one that will steal well? O! for a fine thief of
the age of two-or-three and twenty! I am heinously unprovided_.'
"Gentlemen, in my opinion we need three things. First, the services
of a skillful and discreet silversmith. Second, a pair of eye-glasses
fitted with a powerful microscopic lens, able to distinguish good
from evil. Third, a confederate who can steal well, such as we can
doubtless find in or about Broad Street. By these simple and feasible
means we shall be enabled to whip-saw our redoubtable opponents or, to
use the local term, 'give 'em the double-cross.'"
He sat down amid boisterous applause.
"The Watch-dog of the Treasury!" said Steve icily. The Watch-dog stood
apologetically, twisting nervous fingers together. "It strikes me, Mr.
Speaker," he stammered, "that my eminent colleague might aptly have
quoted from the same high authority two maxims in praise of prudence.
'Discretion is the better part of valor,' he says, and also,
'_He who fights and runs away
Will live to fight another day._'
"It appears to me the part of prudence----"
Here he was howled down by disapproving groans.
"The Chair will take great pleasure in recognizing the Gentleman from
New Mexico," suggested Steve, with a gracious nod.
Wildcat Thompson, cowboy, sprang to his feet; lithe, active, eager.
Swiftness, alertness, poise, certainty were in every line of his
splendid body. His was the assured, resourceful bearing of the man of
action, whose hands have kept his head, contrasting sharply with the
Miner's heavy and tentative slowness, the awkward self-consciousness
of the Easy One, the Objector's furtive and apprehensive manner, or
the Near-Collegian's languid affectation of dilettantism.
"Be a sport!" He threw out a hand, his confident voice ringing with
decision. "We are seven!--(or at least we will be when we pick up
a financier at Atwood's). Get together! Let us adopt our learned
brother's ingenious device. Should fraud fail, we can always fall back
on----
'_the simple plan
That each should take who hath the power.
And he should keep that can_.'
"As alternative, or, I should say, as reserve, I offer--this!" A
swift gleam of silver and steel: he laid a cocked .45 beside the other
exhibits.
"The sword of Brennus! Woe to the vanquished!" murmured the
School-man, when the cheering had abated. "Mr. Chairman, the amendment
is accepted."
The entire meeting then lit a cigarette.
The Chair arose, using the six-shooter as gavel. "Gentlemen, have you
anything more to offer? If not will you hear the question? Is it the
sense of this meeting that united we fall upon this infamous coalition
with the jaw bone of an ass and get their money; dishonestly if we
can, and if not, then by main strength and awkwardness? Those in favor
of the motion will please rise. I am unanimous, and it is so ordered.
This resolution will be spread all over the minutes, right off. The
Chair will appoint as committee to get a move on, Mr. Stephen Thompson
of Montana; the earnest Shakespearian student, Mr. Thompson-Stephen;
Mr. Wildcat Thompson of New Mexico; and myself. Having no further
use for a sucker or a quitter, the other two gentlemen may go to the
devil, and I hereby stand adjourned."
So saying, he gathered up his resources and departed.
At a later hour Steve presented himself in a body to the senior
Atwood, with his letter from the Judge as credentials.
"Bless my soul!" ejaculated that person, when he had read a few
lines. His eyes dropped to the signature. "Oh--the Judge!" he said,
enlightened, and read on, chuckling.
He wheeled his chair around. "Well, Mr. Thompson, what is it--fine or
bail?" he queried.
"I want to borrow a man," Steve began mildly. Here he was interrupted.
The ante-room door opened. One entered--no, floated in--faultlessly
arrayed, with an air at once languid and gloomy.
"Wyatt!" said Atwood, cordially. "Man! You're good for sore eyes! What
fair wind blows you here?"
Wyatt sank into a chair. "Doldwums. Nothing at all," he
said listlessly. "Mewest chawnce, I assuah you. Fawct is, I
was--er--howwidly boahed, y' know. It's no good. All of it!" He
spread out his immaculate pink palm in a comprehensive gesture. "All
wot!--Dinnahs and dawnces and bwidge, the hawse-show--and--ah--all
the west of it.--Vahnity fawr, y' know. If you have whatevah you want
diwectly, of cow'se you cawnt want anything you daunt have, y' know.
Doocid unpleasant. I find myself like the boy that wanted to leah'n
to shivah and shake, y' know. Needin' the excitement of what this
fellah--ah--at Washington, y' know--_Woosevelt_!--of what Woosevelt
calls the stwenuous life. Saht in the club thinkin' it ovah, and
decided to sally fowth to seek adventuah----"
"Adventure! You?" Atwood threw back his head and roared.
"--adventuah. In a hansom," returned the new-comer placidly. "So the
dwivah ahsked me 'Whah to?' y' know. I was feelin' nawsty enough, so I
told him 'To pwugatowy!--like that! He was--ah--a vewy litewal-minded
puhson." There was a faint flicker of amusement in his gray eyes.
"He--ah--bwought me to the Stock Exchange. Aftah I got out, y' know, I
wemembahed that you--ah--did something heah. So I thought I'd just wun
ovah and see you." He relapsed into moody silence.
"You've come to the right shop, I do believe," said Atwood. "Mr.
Thompson, let me make you acquainted with my old friend Wyatt."
"Chawmed, I'm suah!" muttered Wyatt, adjusting his monocle.
"You have probably heard of him," pursued Atwood. "He appears
regularly in the Sunday Supplements as a Horrible Example--Anson
Walworth Wyatt, nephew to his uncle. But for all he seems such a
silly, supercilious ass, he's a good old chap at heart, a 'weal' lion
in an ass-skin. Mr. Thompson, have I permission to share this letter
with my friend?"
"Why not?" said Steve.
"This is a Western man's business letter," explained Atwood. The
clubman listened with a well-bred stony stare.
"Aw!" he said. "How _vewy_ extwaohdinawy!"
"Now, old fellow, Mr. Thompson was just about to negotiate the loan
of a man from me when you came. Here we have the adventure seeking
the man, and the man seeking the adventure. It sounds promising. Of
course, I shall expect a commission both ways. Now give us your plans
and specifications, Mr. Thompson."
"I want to borrow a young man, as I said before, of good
appearance"--with a glance at Wyatt's sumptuous apparel--"and some
little brains"--another and a sharper glance, "One who will obey
orders if he breaks owners, who will stand without being tied, and
who doesn't especially care whether school keeps or not. I would
particularly request that he leave his money, his memory, acquired
good habits, if any, and his conscience, in your safe-keeping till he
is returned."
"That sounds like the makings of a pretty adventure, Wyatt," said
Atwood, delighted, "Are you for loan, old chap?"
Wyatt laid his affectation aside. "That depends on the interest, the
security, and length of the term. It certainly appears, from your very
flattering description, that you were searching for me, Mr. Thompson."
His eyes were dancing.
"Interest from the word Go. The security's all right, too, if you take
a gun," said Steve reassuringly. "You _might_ get a long term, but
it can be avoided with luck and good management. I think the parties
concerned will hardly make a complaint."
"You are not contemplating anything illegal, I trust?" Atwood was
enjoying himself to the full.
"I don't know. Really hadn't given it much attention," returned the
Committee, simply. "But now you mention it, I think probably I am."
"Will you allow my accomplice and myself to use your private room for
executive session?" asked Wyatt.
* * * * *
"But why don't you have them arrested?"
"Arrested? O no!" cried Steve, in pained surprise. "That wouldn't
be fair. That isn't done! Besides, don't you see, that wouldn't hurt
their feelings like this?"
"I see," said Wyatt. "I'm your man. And I say, old chap, before I
go back to my Cholly-talk again, advise me. Would I look any more
idiotic, do you think, if I should suck my cane? I don't want to
disappoint any one."
"I would not," said Steve. "You're too good to be true, without that."
"Wouldn't you naturally suppose," sighed Wyatt, "that people would
know that no man could be as big a fool as I am, unless he did it on
purpose? But they don't. They swallow it, hook, bob and sinker!"
Chapter VI
"_If the bowl had been stronger
My tale had been longer_."
Steve entered Mitchell's office with the painful uprightness and
precise carriage of one who has lunched not wisely but rather too
well. His speech, too, was of ponderous brevity. The man of affairs
chided him with fatherly kindness.
"This won't do, my boy--this won't do. I like you, Thompson. I'm
sorry--I'm pained to see this. Don't go in for this sort of thing, or
your good fortune will prove a curse in disguise."
Steve hung his head, muttering something incoherent about not being
used to wine and that he'd soon get over it.
"Oh, young men _will_ be young men, I suppose," sighed Mitchell
tolerantly. "Tell you what. Archibald's going for a spin over to
East New York. I'll just 'phone him to drop by on his way and take us
along. Fresh air'll do you good."
Steve assented, and fell to poring over the immense wall map of New
York with preternatural gravity.
But Mitchell's benevolent plan was doomed to be frustrated. Hardly had
Archibald arrived and the employees been dismissed, when the sordid,
busy, money-making city intruded in the person of Loring.
There were merry greetings all around. The artist was much pleased to
renew his acquaintance with Thompson, to whom he had taken a fancy.
Loring, it seemed, was an old friend of Archibald's and was promptly
invited to make one of the party.
"Oh, I can't," demurred Loring. "And I hate to spoil sport, but I've
got a good thing which must be put through to-night or not at all. I
ran in to get Mitchell to handle it for me. I've got the opportunity,
but not the wherewithal." He made the candid admission with a
delightful smile.
"I fear that you are leaning on a mighty nearly broken reed," said
Mitchell. "I'm all tied up in money matters this week. But spit it
out, anyhow. I've got six or seven thousand loose. If it's more than
that perhaps Archie can swing it--if it's a safe proposition."
"Safe as United States bonds, and good for thirty per cent, profit.
Come back, Thompson!" Steve was making for the door, with apologies.
"You're not in the way a bit. Sit down, man! Your six thousand won't
be a starter, Joe. I've got some four thousand myself, in red,
red gold. All I have in the world--wish it was more." His blithe
insouciance was irresistibly charming.
"Get down to business, old fellow," said Archibald. "What's the lay?"
"This is all confidential, between gentlemen, you understand?" All
nodded. "You know young Post is in hiding? Well, I've been in touch
with him all along. He's tired of skulking and wants me to sell that
house his mother left him, strictly on the Q.T. He's got a chance to
slip away on a private yacht to-night. Said I could have all I could
get over thirty thousand. It's worth fifty, at least. I know where
I could get forty-five, but I dare not approach those people now,
because they are unfriendly to Post and would make him trouble. Once
he is safely away----" He waved his hand.
"That ought to be a good thing," said Archibald thoughtfully. "It
rents for six thousand a year, and values going up. I've a good mind
to go into it for a permanent investment. Let's see--he'd want spot
cash, wouldn't he?"
"Naturally. Cash on the nail. He could hardly afford to be identified,
you know."
"Can't raise that much to-day," said the shipowner. "Maybe, by
borrowing from my partner, I could get enough to pool with you and
Mitchell. What's your proposition? About cutting profits, I mean."
"I think I should have ten per cent. net, besides the proportionate
earning of my four thousand--for giving you fellows the first chance.
There's plenty would jump at it."
"That's fair enough," said Archibald. "Mr. Thompson, you will excuse
us? Our trip will only be postponed. I'll have to fly around to rustle
ready money. I'll see Bowring first."
"Hold on," said Mitchell. "Why don't you let my friend in on this?
He's got the scads, and he's a good fellow."
"Oh, he would have to go and see the place," objected Archibald, his
eye evidently on the main chance.
"No, he won't. We looked it over yesterday. I showed it to him because
I used to live there. Don't be selfish, Archie. There's plenty of
chances for you to make money. Get your pail, Thompson!"
"We-ll," said Archibald grudgingly. "So long as it's not sure that
Bowring can spare me the money, let him take over a third if he wants
to."
"Sure I do," grinned the prospective buyer, highly elated, "and much
obliged to you, too, Mr. Archibald.
"That's all right," said that person gruffly. "Now then, Loring, come
out of it! Time's flying. Where? When? How? Never saw an artist yet that
could think on straight lines," he grumbled.
"All of you get your money, meet at Mitchell's rooms. I'll let Post
know and join you there later. We'll wait till dark, get a tried and
acquitted notary of my acquaintance, slip around to Post's lair after
dark and do the deed. I'll stand a ripping dinner for the bunch out
of my ten per cent. Put deed on record to-morrow morning. That'll give
him start enough. Is that all clear?"
"Clear as a bell. I'm off!" said Archibald.
"Archie's a good sort, but he does hate to let a dollar get by him."
The artist laughed indulgently. "I say, Thompson, did you see how he
stuck on letting you have a whack at it?"
"Where do you bank?" inquired Mitchell. Steve told him where his money
was deposited. Mitchell shook his head. "I was hoping we would go the
same way, but I go uptown."
Ten minutes after they left the industrious bookkeeper returned
with navvies and draymen, and removed the office furniture to parts
unknown.
* * * * *
When the four financiers got together in Mitchell's room Steve
proposed to continue his lessons in the fascinating game of bridge.
He drank freely and his game was the apotheosis of bumble-puppy.
Archibald, his partner, was much irritated by his stupidity.
A bellboy came to the door. A gentleman in the parlor would like to
see Mr. Thompson.
Mr. Thompson looked at the card. "Mr. A.W. Wyatt," he announced
sneeringly. "You can tell Mr. A.W. Wyatt, if he wants to see me, he
can just naturally mosey himself up here."
"Not _the_ A.W. Wyatt--Anson Walworth Wyatt?" asked Loring. "I know
him--I mean, I know him by sight."
"I believe it is," said Steve with surly indifference. "If you know
him, you know an overbearing jabberwock. He's head devil of the push
that bought the Copperbottom and I don't like his style even a little
bit. He seems to think I'm the dirt under his feet. I'll show him.
I know what he wants, and that's the other fourth of my mine." He
thumped the table viciously. "He'll pay for all he gets from _me_,
I'll tell you that."
Mr. Wyatt was ushered in; irreproachable, flawless, exquisite. ("It's
him!" breathed Loring.) He remained standing, hat in hand, fitted
his glass with vacuous care and surveyed the room with deliberately
insolent scrutiny. Thompson kept his seat, fairly prickling with
antagonism. The others rose with exemplary good breeding.
"Aw!" said the newcomer, after an eloquent pause.
"Mistah--er--Townsend, cawn I have a few moments of quite pwivate
convehsation with you?"
"No, you cawnt!" retorted Thompson truculently. "Sit down, boys. Sit
down, I say! These gentlemen are my friends. Anything you got to say?
If there is, say it. And my name's _Thompson_, if you please."
"Aw!--what an _extwemely_ wemahkable ahttitude!" Wyatt fixed
his monocle on the offending miner with bland and exasperating
condescension. "Weally, you quite intewest me, y' know! I appwoach
you, quite civilly, y' know, with an offah decidedly to youah
ahdvahntage, Mistah--ah--Tomlinson, and you tweat it----"
"_Thompson_!! By Heavens, you say Tomlinson again and I'll pound your
face into shape!" roared the misnamed one, jumping up. Mitchell and
Loring vainly tried to quiet him.
"Weally, I shall be obwiged to wefeh you to my lawyehs----" Wyatt
began.
"Refer _me_--you animated outrage--you libel! Turn me loose, you
fellows! _I_ don't want to see _you_ or your durn lawyers! I know
what _you_ want, well enough. You want to bamboozle me into selling my
interest in the Copper-bottom for less than it's worth. Here's my last
word to you--Mr.--ah--White! If you want my fourth at forty thousand,
to-day, all right. It's worth more--it's paid from the grass-roots
down. But that'll make me the round six figures, and that's enough.
_I_ can make money--_I_ know _my_ little way about," he boasted, with
insufferable complacency.
"Nobody left me _my_ pile! Put up or shut up!"
"Mr. Wyatt," said Mitchell, "pardon me, but may I suggest that you
call at a more favorable time?" He made, behind Thompson's back, the
motion significant of an emptied glass.
"Aw! I see--I _see_! Thawnks awfully for the hint. Good-evening,
gentlemen--and--ah--Mistah Tomkins!"
Thompson broke away, shaking his fist in Wyatt's face. "Say that again
and I'll brain you--pawdon me, I should say, I'll smash your head in.
Thompson's my name--T-h-o-m-p-s-o-n, _T h o m p s o n_! And you trade
with me, now or never!"
"You see, gentlemen?" Wyatt appealed. "Mistah--ah--Tawmson, I offahed
you twenty-five thousand on my own wesponsibility, as a--ah--business
pwoposition. My--ah--associawates in this undehtaking aw all fwiends,
quite congenwial, y' know, and I felt suah they would sanction that. I
do not cyah to go futheh lengths without--ah--a confewence with them,
as I believe that pwice quite ahmple, y' know. But if I could awwange
fo' an option----"
"You pay me twenty thousand, cash, in this room, at eight o'clock
to-night, and I'll give you an option for one week at forty thousand,"
persisted the morose miner. "After that, the price goes up."
"Fifty pehcentum down on an option! This is uttehly unpwecedented, y'
know. I must wemonstwate, weally!"
"It's all the option you'll get from me, you jackanapes." He snapped
contemptuous fingers under Wyatt's nose.
Wyatt buttoned his coat with dignity. "Weally, this pahsses all
bounds!" he ejaculated. "Gentlemen, I accept this--ah--puhson's offeh.
I cannot enduah such an associwate. You ah all witnesses. May I ahsk
you-ah names, and may I wequest youah pwesence to-night, both to
ensuah the--ar--fulfillment of the vehbal contwact which you have
heahd, and to pwevent the wepetition of this scandalous scene?" He
opened the door. "Aw wevoah, gentlemen!" By this time he was in the
elevator. From this coign of vantage he sent a Parthian shaft.
"Till eight o'clock, Mistah--ah--Tomkinson!"
The three held the raging Thompson with some mutual dishevelment. They
soothed him with flattery, stayed him with flagons, for he yearned for
blood with a great yearning.
"Listen to your friends, boy," urged Mitchell. "Take his money, and
don't do anything you'll be sorry for. Make out your papers and pay no
attention to what he says. Come, brace up! It'll be time for dinner
in a jiffy. Promise us not to drink any more, and not to make any
trouble, or we'll 'phone him not to come."
Steve allowed himself to be pacified at last, but he regarded his
mitigators with a malignant eye.
"Here's what I owe you on bridge, Mitchell--twenty-three dollars," he
said sullenly. "Archibald can settle with Loring. _I_ don't want no
dinner--I'm going to sleep."
"Oh, come on now, that's a good fellow," purred Mitchell, picking
up the two bills and the coins. "Say, old man--you haven't turned
counterfeiter, have you?" he said good-naturedly. "This one's N.G."
Steve took it clumsily. "It's no such thing," he blurted. "Good as
gold. Take it or leave it. I don't care."
"Oh, very well," said Mitchell, humoring him. Then he reflected. The
indications were that their projected _coup_ might fail if Steve's
surly humor kept up. Why not improve the shining hour? The coin was
obviously bad.
"I'll take it before it gets you into trouble," he insinuated.
Steve lurched to his feet, thrusting an undecorative face over the
table. "You think' it's bad?" he queried darkly. "You think I'm a
fool?" He flung a packet of bills on the table. "Cover that, if you
dare," he said. "There's the money for the Post place--ten thousand
dollars. It says that's a good dollar. Put up or shut up!"
"You'll lose your money!" warned Mitchell. "Then you'll say I took
advantage of you."
"_I_ know what _you_ think," said Steve shrewdly. "_You_ think
I'm drunk, but I'm not. _I_ know a good thing when I see it. Don't
you--don't you lose no sleep about _me_. I'm--I'm all right, you bet!
Now what'll you do or take water?" he fleered.
Surreptitiously Loring had tried the coin with his penknife during
this controversy. The metal was quite soft--the knife left a great
scar, which he flashed at Mitchell.
"Well--if you insist," said Mitchell reluctantly. He counted out ten
one-thousand-dollar bills. "Who'll be the judge?"
"Anybody. Archie. I've got you skinned a mile anyway."
"I am sorry, Mr. Thompson," said Archibald, "but this dollar seems to
be pewter, or something of that general description. Aw, give him back
his money, Mitchell--he's drinking.
"I won't!" said Mitchell stubbornly. "He forced me into it. He
wouldn't have given it back to me if I'd lost."
"Sure I wouldn't," assented Steve. "I'm no boy. _I_ play for keeps,
me. Don't be so fast, _if_ you please. This money ain't won yet. Cut
into that dollar! I was from Missouri before ever I saw Montana."
"Cut it, Loring," said Mitchell. "Show him!"
Loring scratched it with the penknife point. "You see? soft as
cheese--rotten," he said. And then the knife struck something hard.
A chill crept over him. Stupefied, he scraped the base metal back,
revealing a portion of _an irrefutably good dollar._
The dismayed rascals looked up. In Thompson's hand a large,
businesslike gun wavered portentously from one head to the other.
"Go on!" he admonished. His tone was not particularly pleasant. "Peel
her off! Yah! You puling infants! You cheap, trading-stamp crooks!"
He raked off the money. "Be tran-tranquil! You doddering idiots, I'd
shoot your heads off for two bits I Try to rob a countryman, will you?
Why, gentle shepherds all, I've been on to such curves as yours ever
since Hec was a pup! You and your scout Loring and your Bickford
and your Post!" he scoffed. "Don't open your heads. Bah! Here, you
skunks!" He threw an ostentatiously bad dollar on the table. "Take
that, and break even if you can. That patronizing half-baked tailor's
dummy that called me out of my name will be back bimeby, with his
pockets full. I'd like to see him taken down a peg, but I dassent
spoil the sale of my mine. Tell him I'm in bed, full, but'll be out in
an hour or so. He'll come again to buy me out. Hates me like poison,
he does. If you can get him to bite, go it! But I doubt if you'll find
even that saphead as rank as you three wise guys. Anyway, I don't want
to see him while I feel this way. My head aches, and I suppose there's
some sort of law against shooting the likes of him--or you. I'm
leavin' for another hotel, right now. Don't you fellows bother me
if you value your hides. If you can skin, that puppy, why, sic 'em,
Towse! and the devil take the hindmost! Oh, you Smart Alecks!"
He backed out with a traditional wiggle of his fingers.
It is to be regretted that the stringent regulations of the postal
authorities will not permit us any report of the heart-to-heart talk
that followed his departure, other than the baldest summary. It was
marked by earnestness, sincerity, even by some petulance, interspersed
with frank and spirited repartee. Mutual recrimination resulted.
Subdued and chastened, Mr. Mitchell was reduced to the ranks; Loring,
by virtue of his own and Mitchell's vote, replacing him. Archibald's
preference was for a third person still--namely, himself--and he
acquiesced with ill grace.
They had but little over ten thousand dollars remaining for the return
match; and this, as Loring pointed out with just indignation, would
only put them even. They knew that Wyatt would have at least twice
that much with him. So they scurried forth and made such good use of
the scant time left them, by borrowing, by squeezing both Bickford and
the hard-working bookkeeper, and by resource to certain nest-eggs
laid by for case of extreme urgency (known among themselves as "fix
money"), they scraped together some six thousand more. The "ripping"
dinner went untasted. They were hardened, but human.
All ravages of carking care were smoothed away, and they were disposed
in luxuriant and contented ease when Wyatt came.
"Aw, gentlemen, I am punctual, you see!" he announced gayly. "It
is weally vewy kind of you to be so obliging--I'm suah. Is
the--ah--mining puhson in?"
Mr. Loring, speaking for the trio, affably regretted that their young
friend was not, in fact, at his best during Mr. Wyatt's previous call.
They had remonstrated with him for his injurious conduct. At present
he was sleeping off the effects of his slight exhilaration: they
thought it would not be at all judicious to disturb him: they felt
sure that, on awakening, he would prove amenable to reason. Meanwhile,
the night was young; if Mr. Wyatt cared to join them in a friendly
rubber they would be delighted.
"Chawmed, I'm suah!" said Wyatt. "I do not desiah any contwovewsy with
that vewy wuffianly puhson while he is--ah--wuffled. So I shall wait
and shall be happy to join you."
The score was close; it was only through ingenious manipulation by
their opponents that Wyatt and his partner were forced to win a small
sum.
"Weally, gentlemen," drawled Wyatt, looking at his watch, "I shall be
fowced to leave you. I have an engagement at eleven, and I weally feah
ouah Mr. Townshend will be, as I might say, _hors de combat_ foh
the night. I have to thawnk you fow a vewy agweeable evening,
nevahtheless."
He was carelessly sweeping the money into his pocket when Mitchell,
his partner, checked him.
"I beg your pardon, but is that not a bad dollar?" he said.
"Oh, no mattah--no consequence at all, I assuah you," said Wyatt
liberally. He would have pocketed the piece, but Loring, who had paid
it, gave him another, and flung the slighted coin over to Mitchell.
"If you're so set on this dollar being bad," he said angrily, "I'll
bet you what you dare it's not bad."
"Done with you for twenty!" Mitchell covered it promptly.
Loring drew out a handful of bills. "Here you are. Any one else want
any of this?" he inquired captiously.
Archibald shook his head and laughed. Wyatt screwed his monocle into
his eye, regarded both sides of the coin attentively, and laid it
down.
"Quite bad, I assuah you," he said. "I should pwonounce it about the
wohst specimen extahnt."
"Maybe you'd like to bet on it?" said Loring, flaunting the big bills.
Wyatt was evidently nettled. "Weally, you aw wong--I assuah you," he
said stiffly.
"If you aw--pawdon me--quite able to lose that money
without--ah--inconvenience I am weady to covah it, at least, as fah as
what I have with me goes."
"Done!" said Loring. This was not so bad, after all.
"How much?... Aw! Seventeen thousand. Exactly. The bet is made,
gentlemen. I--ah--propose that we wing the bell foh the pwopwietah
and, shahl we say, the clahk, to act as judge and stakeholdeh."
"That will be satisfactory," said Loring. "Allow me, in turn, to make
a suggestion, Mr. Wyatt. Put the money in your billbook, hand it to
the stakeholder, and let him give it, unopened, to the winner. Of
course, you will first take out your other money. There is no need for
them to know that more than a trivial sum is at stake. We do not want
to court unpleasant notoriety."
"Quite twue! An excellent suggestion," said Wyatt gravely. He
proceeded to put it in effect.
The summoned dignitaries arrived, the situation was explained, and
Wyatt, handing the money to the proprietor and the questionable dollar
to the clerk, requested judgment.
The clerk looked at the coin, rubbed it, rang it. It gave out a dull
and leaden sound.
"Bad, beyond a doubt," he said.
"Try it with your knife," said Loring confidently.
The clerk complied. By mischance he bore on too hard. The knife went
through to the table.
A sound of mirth swept to them. With horror frozen on their faces,
the three rascals were aware of Thompson, leaning in the
doorway--unmistakably sober, given up to reprehensible levity, holding
out a bright tin pail with an expectant air.
Let us give even the devil his due. For Mitchell laughed.
THE END