Niver try to mak a fooil ov onybody this month; ther's fooils enuff
i'th world already. It's oft struck me what a varry slight difference
ther is between a wise man and a fooil; one aims at summat an' hits
it--tother aims at summat an' misses it; an' aw have known th' time
when th' chap 'at's missed has been worth a dozen sich like as him
'at's hit. But th' world generally sets 'em daan to be wise men 'at
happen to be lucky men, an' get hold o' lots o' brass. An' ha monny
brains a chap has, if he can't spooart a pair o' kid gloves an' a
daycent hat, he mun niver hope for owt better nor to tak his place
amang th' fooils. Aw've monny a time thowt when aw've heared fowk
settin a chap daan as a fooil;--talk prattley--may be if he wor
weighed up he's a better man nor yo this minit; yo connot tell all 'at
he may have had to struggle wi'--
Circumstances alter cases,
Th' same as nooases alter faces.
An' it's as weel to exercise a bit ov charity towards them 'at's set
daan to be fooils. "Young fowk think old fowk fooils, an' old fowk's
sure young uns is." An aw believe th' old fowk are oft varry near th'
mark,--for th' experience of a life time is little moor nor livin to
know what fooils we've been; an' if iver aw meet wi' a chap 'at can't
remember iver makkin a fooil ov hissen, aw shall expect to hear tell
on' him bein ta'en to th' blue slates directly. Poor Richard says,
"Experience is a dear schooil, but fooils will leearn i' noa other;"
an' who is ther 'at hasn't had to leearn i' that schooil? Its a hard
maister, an' we're apt to think, when we're under him, 'at he's war
wi' us nor onybody else; but when we've getten th' lessen off by heart
we find th' advantage on it. But ov all th' fooils it has been my
luck to meet wi,' them chaps 'at knows all are th' biggest. There's
some fowk think they're born wi' all th' wit i'th world, an' noabody
can taich 'em owt; whativer yo tell' em, they've allus "known that
long enuff sin'," or else they've "just been think in soa." Aw once
knew one o' that Sooart--one 'at had allus been thinkin soa. One day
some mates o' mine an' me thowt we cud like a marlock wi' him, an soa
we gooas up to him an says, "A'a Jooanas! whativer does ta think?"
"Nay," he says, "whativer will yo say? What's up?" "Why," aw says,
"Jim Hyn's dunkey's swallow'd th' grinelstooan." "Well, if aw hadn't
just been thinkin soa," says Jooanas. "Well, but tha thowt wrang, owd
boy, this time," aw says, "for it hasn't." "Why," he said, "aw hardly
thowt it had." Soa he had us at booath ends. They say it taks a wise
man to mak a fooil, but aw think ther's enuff withaat makkin ony moor,
an aw niver knew a fooil i' my life at didn't think ivery body else a
little bit war cracked nor hissen.