farcical than in many a so-called "legitimate" comedy. None of the
circumstances are purely fortuitous; none unnecessary. Humor and caprice
tend steadily to complicate the action, and by natural interaction
prepare the way for the denouement. The misunderstandings are the more
piquant because of their manifest irony and their ephemeral character.
Indeed, if any fault is to be found with the play, it is that Goldsmith
did not let it resolve itself without the assistance of Sir Charles
Marlow.
One peculiarity not yet mentioned is illustrative of Goldsmith's method.
A system of mutual borrowing characterizes his works. The same thought,
in the same or nearly the same language, occurs in half a dozen. 'The
Enquiry' lends a phrase to 'The Citizen,' who passes it on to the
'Vicar,' who, thinking it too good to keep, hands it over to the
'Good-natured Man,' whence it is borrowed by 'She Stoops to Conquer,'
and turned to look like new,--like a large family of sisters with a
small wardrobe in common. This habit does not indicate poverty of
invention in Goldsmith, but associative imagination and artistic
conservatism.
Goldsmith was the only Irish story-writer and poet of his century. Four
Irishmen adorned the prose of the period: Goldsmith is as eminent in the
natural style as Swift in the satiric, or Steele in the polished, or
Burke in the grand. In comedy the Irish led; but Steele, Macklin,
Murphy, Kelly, do not compare with Farquhar, Sheridan, and Goldsmith.
The worst work of these is good, and their best is the best of the
century.
Turning to Goldsmith the man, what the "draggle-tail Muses" paid him we
find him spending on dress and rooms and jovial magnificence, on
relatives or countrymen or the unknown poor, with such freedom that he
is never relieved of the necessity of drudgery. Still, sensitive,
good-natured, improvident, Irish,--and a genius,--Goldsmith lived as
happy a life as his disposition would allow. He had the companionship of
congenial friends, the love of men like Johnson and Reynolds, the final
assurance that his art was appreciated by the public. To be sure, he was
never out of debt, but that was his own fault; he was never out of
credit either. "Was there ever poet so trusted?" exclaimed Johnson,
after this poet had got beyond reach of his creditors. His difficulties
however affected him as they affect most Irishmen,--only by cataclysms.
He was serene or wretched, but generally the former: he packed _noctes
coenaeque deum_ by the dozen into his life. "There is no man," said
Reynolds, "whose company is more liked." But maybe that was because his
naivete, his brogue, his absent-mindedness, and his blunders (real or
apparent) made him a ready butt for ridicule, not at the hands of
Reynolds or Johnson, but of Beauclerk and the rest. For though his humor
was sly, and his wit inimitable, Goldsmith's conversation was queer. It
seemed to go by contraries. If permitted, he would ramble along in his
hesitating, inconsequential fashion, on any subject under heaven--"too
eager," thought Johnson, "to get on without knowing how he should get
off." But if ignored, he would sit silent and apart,--sulking, thought
Boswell. In fact, both the Dictator and laird of Auchinleck were of a
mind that he tried too much to shine in conversation, for which he had
no temper. But "Goldy's" _bons-mots_--such as the "Forsitan et nostrum
nomen miscebitur _istis_" to Johnson, as they passed under the heads on
Temple Bar,--make it evident that Garrick, with his
"Here lies Poet Goldsmith, for shortness called Noll,
Who wrote like an angel, but talked like poor Poll,"
and most of the members of the Literary Club, did not understand their
Irishman. A timidity born of rough experience may have occasionally
oppressed, a sensitiveness to ridicule or indifference may have confused
him, a desire for approbation may frequently have led him to speak when
silence had been golden; but that his conversation was "foolish" is the
judgment of Philistines who make conversation an industry, not an
amusement or an art.
Boswell himself recounts more witty sayings than incomprehensible. And
the "incomprehensible" are so only to Boswells and Hawkinses, who can
hardly be expected to appreciate a humor, the vein of which is a mockery
of their own solemn stupidity. Probably Goldsmith did say unconsidered
things; he liked to think aloud in company, to "rattle on" for
diversion. Keenly alive to the riches of language, he was the more
likely to feel the embarrassment of impromptu selection; and while he
was too much of a genius to keep count of every pearl, he was too
considerate of his fellows to cast pearls only. But most of his fellows
(Reynolds excepted) appreciated neither his drollery nor his
unselfishness,--had not been educated up to the type of Irishman that
with an artistic love of fun, is ever ready to promote the gayety of
nations by sacrificing itself in the interest of laughter. For none but
an artist can, without cracking a smile, offer up his wit on the altar
of his humor.
Prior describes Goldsmith as something under the middle size, sturdy,
active, apparently capable of endurance; pale, forehead and upper lip
rather projecting, face round, pitted with small-pox, and marked with
strong lines of thinking. But Reynolds's painting idealizes and
therefore best expresses the man, his twofold nature: on the one hand,
self-depreciatory, generous, and improvident; on the other, aspiring,
hungry for approval, laborious. Just such a man as would gild poverty
with a smile, decline patronage and force his last sixpence on a
street-singer, pile Pelion on Ossa for his publishers and turn out
cameos for art.
[Signature: Charles Mills Gayley]
THE VICAR'S FAMILY BECOME AMBITIOUS
From 'The Vicar of Wakefield'
I now began to find that all my long and painful lectures upon
temperance, simplicity, and contentment were entirely disregarded. The
distinctions lately paid us by our betters awakened that pride which I
had laid asleep, but not removed. Our windows again, as formerly, were
filled with washes for the neck and face. The sun was dreaded as an
enemy to the skin without doors, and the fire as a spoiler of the
complexion within. My wife observed that rising too early would hurt her
daughters' eyes, that working after dinner would redden their noses,
and she convinced me that the hands never looked so white as when they
did nothing. Instead therefore of finishing George's shirts, we now had
them new-modeling their old gauzes, or flourishing upon catgut. The poor
Miss Flamboroughs, their former gay companions, were cast off as mean
acquaintance, and the whole conversation ran upon high life and
high-lived company, with pictures, taste, Shakespeare, and the musical
glasses.
But we could have borne all this, had not a fortune-telling gypsy come
to raise us into perfect sublimity. The tawny sibyl no sooner appeared
than my girls came running to me for a shilling apiece, to cross her
hand with silver. To say the truth, I was tired of being always wise,
and could not help gratifying their request, because I loved to see them
happy. I gave each of them a shilling, though for the honor of the
family it must be observed that they never went without money
themselves, as my wife always generously let them have a guinea each to
keep in their pockets, but with strict injunctions never to change it.
After they had been closeted up with the fortune-teller for some time, I
knew by their looks, upon their returning, that they had been promised
something great. "Well, my girls, how have you sped? Tell me, Livy, has
the fortune-teller given thee a penny-worth?" "I protest, papa," says
the girl, "I believe she deals with somebody that is not right, for she
positively declared that I am to be married to a squire in less than a
twelvemonth!" "Well now, Sophy, my child," said I, "and what sort of a
husband are you to have?" "Sir," replied she, "I am to have a lord soon
after my sister has married the squire." "How," cried I, "is that all
you are to have for your two shillings? Only a lord and a squire for two
shillings! You fools, I could have promised you a prince and a nabob for
half the money!"
This curiosity of theirs, however, was attended with very serious
effects: we now began to think ourselves designed by the stars to
something exalted, and already anticipated our future grandeur.
* * * * *
It has been a thousand times observed, and I must observe it once more,
that the hours we pass with happy prospects in view are more pleasing
than those crowned with fruition. In the first case we cook the dish to
our own appetite; in the latter, nature cooks it for us. It is
impossible to repeat the train of agreeable reveries we called up for
our entertainment. We looked upon our fortunes as once more rising; and
as the whole parish asserted that the Squire was in love with my
daughter, she was actually so with him, for they persuaded her into the
passion. In this agreeable interval my wife had the most lucky dreams in
the world, which she took care to tell us every morning with great
solemnity and exactness. It was one night a coffin and cross-bones, the
sign of an approaching wedding; at another time she imagined her
daughter's pockets filled with farthings, a certain sign of their being
shortly stuffed with gold. The girls themselves had their omens. They
felt strange kisses on their lips; they saw rings in the candle; purses
bounced from the fire, and true-love knots lurked in the bottom of every
teacup.
Towards the end of the week we received a card from the town ladies, in
which, with their compliments, they hoped to see all our family at
church the Sunday following. All Saturday morning I could perceive, in
consequence of this, my wife and daughters in close conference together,
and now and then glancing at me with looks that betrayed a latent plot.
To be sincere, I had strong suspicions that some absurd proposal was
preparing for appearing with splendor the next day. In the evening they
began their operations in a very regular manner, and my wife undertook
to conduct the siege. After tea, when I seemed in spirits, she began
thus: "I fancy, Charles my dear, we shall have a great deal of good
company at our church to-morrow." "Perhaps we may, my dear," returned I;
"though you need be under no uneasiness about that; you shall have a
sermon whether there be or not." "That is what I expect," returned she;
"but I think, my dear, we ought to appear there as decently as possible,
for who knows what may happen?" "Your precautions," replied I, "are
highly commendable. A decent behavior and appearance in church is what
charms me. We should be devout and humble, cheerful and serene." "Yes,"
cried she, "I know that; but I mean we should go there in as proper a
manner as possible; not altogether like the scrubs about us." "You are
quite right, my dear," returned I; "and I was going to make the very
same proposal. The proper manner of going is to go there as early as
possible, to have time for meditation before the service begins." "Phoo,
Charles!" interrupted she; "all that is very true, but not what I would
be at. I mean we should go there genteelly. You know the church is two
miles off, and I protest I don't like to see my daughters trudging up to
their pew all blowzed and red with walking, and looking for all the
world as if they had been winners at a smock-race. Now, my dear, my
proposal is this: there are our two plow-horses, the colt that has been
in our family these nine years, and his companion Blackberry that has
scarcely done an earthly thing this month past. They are both grown fat
and lazy. Why should not they do something as well as we? And let me
tell you, when Moses has trimmed them a little they will cut a very
tolerable figure."
To this proposal I objected that walking would be twenty times more
genteel than such a paltry conveyance, as Blackberry was wall-eyed and
the colt wanted a tail; that they had never been broke to the rein, but
had a hundred vicious tricks; and that we had but one saddle and pillion
in the whole house. All these objections however were overruled; so that
I was obliged to comply. The next morning I perceived them not a little
busy in collecting such materials as might be necessary for the
expedition, but as I found it would be a business of time, I walked on
to the church before, and they promised speedily to follow. I waited
near an hour in the reading-desk for their arrival, but not finding them
come as I expected, I was obliged to begin, and went through the
service, not without some uneasiness at finding them absent. This was
increased when all was finished, and no appearance of the family. I
therefore walked back by the horse-way, which was five miles round,
though the foot-way was but two, and when I got about half-way home,
perceived the procession marching slowly forward towards the church; my
son, my wife, and the two little ones exalted upon one horse, and my two
daughters upon the other. I demanded the cause of their delay; but I
soon found by their looks they had met with a thousand misfortunes on
the road. The horses had at first refused to move from the door, till
Mr. Burchell was kind enough to beat them forward for about two hundred
yards with his cudgel. Next, the straps of my wife's pillion broke down,
and they were obliged to stop to repair them before they could proceed.
After that, one of the horses took it into his head to stand still, and
neither blows nor entreaties could prevail with him to proceed. They
were just recovering from this dismal situation when I found them; but
perceiving everything safe, I own their present mortification did not
much displease me, as it would give me many opportunities of future
triumph, and teach my daughters more humility.
Michaelmas Eve happening on the next day, we were invited to burn nuts
and play tricks at neighbor Flamborough's. Our late mortifications had
humbled us a little, or it is probable we might have rejected such an
invitation with contempt; however, we suffered ourselves to be happy.
Our honest neighbor's goose and dumplings were fine, and the lamb's
wool, even in the opinion of my wife, who was a connoisseur, was
excellent. It is true his manner of telling stories was not quite so
well; they were very long and very dull, and all about himself, and we
had laughed at them ten times before; however, we were kind enough to
laugh at them once more.
Mr. Burchell, who was of the party, was always fond of seeing some
innocent amusement going forward, and set the boys and girls to
blindman's buff. My wife too was persuaded to join in the diversion, and
it gave me pleasure to think she was not yet too old. In the mean time
my neighbor and I looked on, laughed at every feat, and praised our own
dexterity when we were young. Hot cockles succeeded next, questions and
commands followed that, and last of all they sat down to hunt the
slipper. As every person may not be acquainted with this primeval
pastime, it may be necessary to observe that the company at this play
planted themselves in a ring upon the ground, all except one, who stands
in the middle, whose business it is to catch a shoe which the company
shove about under their hams from one to another, something like a
weaver's shuttle. As it is impossible in this case for the lady who is
up to face all the company at once, the great beauty of the play lies in
hitting her a thump with the heel of the shoe on that side least capable
of making a defense. It was in this manner that my eldest daughter was
hemmed in and thumped about, all blowzed in spirits, and bawling for
fair play with a voice that might deafen a ballad-singer, when,
confusion on confusion! who should enter the room but our two great
acquaintances from town, Lady Blarney and Miss Carolina Wilhelmina
Amelia Skeggs! Description would but beggar, therefore it is unnecessary
to describe this new mortification. Death! To be seen by ladies of such
high breeding in such vulgar attitudes! Nothing better could ensue from
such a vulgar play of Mr. Flamborough's proposing. We seemed stuck to
the ground for some time, as if actually petrified with amazement.
The two ladies had been at our house to see us, and finding us from
home, came after us hither, as they were uneasy to know what accident
could have kept us from church the day before. Olivia undertook to be
our prolocutor, and delivered the whole in the summary way, only saying,
"We were thrown from our horses." At which account the ladies were
greatly concerned; but being told the family received no hurt, they were
extremely glad; but being informed that we were almost killed by the
fright, they were vastly sorry; but hearing that we had a very good
night, they were extremely glad again. Nothing could exceed their
complaisance to my daughters; their professions the last evening were
warm, but now they were ardent. They protested a desire of having a more
lasting acquaintance; Lady Blarney was particularly attached to Olivia;
Miss Carolina Wilhelmina Amelia Skeggs (I love to give the whole name)
took a greater fancy to her sister. They supported the conversation
between themselves, while my daughters sat silent, admiring their
exalted breeding. But as every reader, however beggarly himself, is fond
of high-lived dialogues, with anecdotes of lords, ladies, and Knights of
the Garter, I must beg leave to give him the concluding part of the
present conversation.
"All that I know of the matter," cried Miss Skeggs, "is this: that it
may be true, or it may not be true; but this I can assure your ladyship,
that the whole route was in amaze; his lordship turned all manner of
colors, my lady fell into a swoon, but Sir Tomkyn, drawing his sword,
swore he was hers to the last drop of his blood."
"Well," replied our peeress, "this I can say: that the duchess
never told me a syllable of the matter; and I believe her Grace
would keep nothing a secret from me. This you may depend upon as
fact: that the next morning my lord duke cried out three times to
his _valet-de-chambre_, 'Jernigan, Jernigan, Jernigan, bring me
my garters!'"
But previously I should have mentioned the very impolite behavior of Mr.
Burchell, who during this discourse sat with his face turned to the
fire, and at the conclusion of every sentence would cry out
"_Fudge!_"--an expression which displeased us all, and in some measure
damped the rising spirit of the conversation.
"Besides, my dear Skeggs," continued our peeress, "there is nothing of
this in the copy of verses that Doctor Burdock made upon the occasion."
_Fudge!_
"I am surprised at that," cried Miss Skeggs; "for he seldom leaves
anything out, as he writes only for his own amusement. But can your
Ladyship favor me with a sight of them?" _Fudge!_
"My dear creature," replied our peeress, "do you think I carry such
things about me? Though they are very fine, to be sure, and I think
myself something of a judge; at least I know what pleases myself.
Indeed, I was ever an admirer of all Doctor Burdock's little pieces; for
except what he does, and our dear countess at Hanover Square, there's
nothing comes out but the most lowest stuff in nature; not a bit of high
life among them." _Fudge!_
"Your Ladyship should except," says t'other, "your own things in the
Lady's Magazine. I hope you'll say there's nothing low-lived there? But
I suppose we are to have no more from that quarter?" _Fudge!_
"Why, my dear," says the lady, "you know my reader and companion has
left me to be married to Captain Roach, and as my poor eyes won't suffer
me to write myself, I have been for some time looking out for another. A
proper person is no easy matter to find, and to be sure, thirty pounds a
year is a small stipend for a well-bred girl of character, that can
read, write, and behave in company; as for the chits about town, there
is no bearing them about one." _Fudge!_
"That I know," cried Miss Skeggs, "by experience. For of the three
companions I had this last half-year, one of them refused to do plain
work an hour in the day, another thought twenty-five guineas a year too
small a salary, and I was obliged to send away the third because I
suspected an intrigue with the chaplain. Virtue, my dear Lady Blarney,
virtue is worth any price; but where is that to be found?" _Fudge!_
My wife had been for a long time all attention to this discourse, but
was particularly struck with the latter part of it. Thirty pounds and
twenty-five guineas a year made fifty-six pounds five shillings, English
money, all which was in a manner going a-begging, and might easily be
secured in the family. She for a moment studied my looks for
approbation; and to own a truth, I was of opinion that two such places
would fit our two daughters exactly. Besides, if the Squire had any real
affection for my eldest daughter, this would be the way to make her
every way qualified for her fortune. My wife therefore was resolved that
we should not be deprived of such advantages for want of assurance, and
undertook to harangue for the family. "I hope," cried she, "your
ladyships will pardon my present presumption. It is true, we have no
right to pretend to such favors; but yet it is natural for me to wish
putting my children forward in the world. And I will be bold to say my
two girls have had a pretty good education and capacity; at least, the
country can't show better. They can read, write, and cast accounts; they
understand their needle, broad-stitch, cross-and-change, and all manner
of plain work; they can pink, point, and frill, and know something of
music; they can do up small-clothes, work upon catgut; my eldest can cut
paper, and my youngest has a very pretty manner of telling fortunes upon
the cards." _Fudge!_
When she had delivered this pretty piece of eloquence, the two ladies
looked at each other a few moments in silence, with an air of doubt and
importance. At last Miss Carolina Wilhelmina Amelia Skeggs condescended
to observe that the young ladies, from the opinion she could form of
them from so slight an acquaintance, seemed very fit for such
employments. "But a thing of this kind, madam," cried she, addressing my
spouse, "requires a thorough examination into characters, and a more
perfect knowledge of each other. Not, madam," continued she, "that I in
the least suspect the young ladies' virtue, prudence, and discretion;
but there is a form in these things, madam, there is a form."
My wife approved her suspicions very much, observing that she was very
apt to be suspicious herself; but referred her to all the neighbors for
a character; but this our peeress declined as unnecessary, alleging that
her cousin Thornhill's recommendation would be sufficient, and upon this
we rested our petition.
* * * * *
When we returned home, the night was dedicated to schemes of future
conquest. Deborah exerted much sagacity in conjecturing which of the two
girls was likely to have the best place, and most opportunities of
seeing good company. The only obstacle to our preferment was in
obtaining the Squire's recommendation; but he had already shown us too
many instances of his friendship to doubt of it now. Even in bed my wife
kept up the usual theme: "Well, faith, my dear Charles, between
ourselves, I think we have made an excellent day's work of it." "Pretty
well," cried I, not knowing what to say. "What, only pretty well!"
returned she; "I think it is very well. Suppose the girls should come to
make acquaintances of taste in town! This I am assured of, that London
is the only place in the world for all manner of husbands. Besides, my
dear, stranger things happen every day; and as ladies of quality are so
taken with my daughters, what will not men of quality be! _Entre nous_,
I protest I like my Lady Blarney vastly; so very obliging. However, Miss
Carolina Wilhelmina Amelia Skeggs has my warm heart. But yet when they
came to talk of places in town, you saw at once how I nailed them. Tell
me, my dear, don't you think I did for my children there?" "Ay,"
returned I, not knowing well what to think of the matter; "Heaven grant
that they may be both the better for it this day three months!" This was
one of those observations I usually made to impress my wife with an
opinion of my sagacity; for if the girls succeeded, then it was a pious
wish fulfilled; but if anything unfortunate ensued, then it might be
looked upon as a prophecy.
NEW MISFORTUNES: BUT OFFENSES ARE EASILY PARDONED WHERE THERE IS LOVE AT
BOTTOM
From 'The Vicar of Wakefield'