"I stood talking to the man for some time, and at last I asked what was
the matter with his face.
"'I've the toothache,' he said ruefully, 'and that's why I was singing;
I'm told that it's a capital remedy.'
"'I'll see if I can't find a better one,' said I, taking up this little
book, which I always carry with me." And Shin Shira held out for my
inspection a tiny volume bound in yellow leather, with golden clasps,
which was attached to his girdle by a long golden chain.
"This," he explained, "is a very remarkable book, and has been in our
family for many hundreds of years. It contains directions what to do in
any difficulty whatsoever, with the aid of the fairy power, which, as I
have told you, I inherit from my fairy ancestor.
"The only difficulty is that, as I am partly a mortal, _sometimes_
(owing perhaps to my fairy great-great-great-grandmother being in a bad
temper at the moment) the fairy spell refuses to work, and then I am
left in the lurch.
"This time, however, it worked splendidly, for I had only to turn to the
word 'Toothache' to discover that the fairy remedy was to 'rub the
_other_ side of the face with a stinging nettle, and the pain and
swelling would instantly disappear.'
"Fortunately there were plenty of nettles to be found in a neglected
corner of the garden, and I quickly applied the remedy, which worked, as
the saying is, 'like magic,' for the Grand Panjandrum's Chief Cook's
face resumed its normal size at once, and the pain vanished immediately.
"It is needless to say that he was very grateful, and we were walking
back to the Palace, where he had just promised to regale me with some of
the choicest viands in his larder, when we met, coming towards us, a
most doleful-looking individual, clothed in black and wearing a most
woebegone visage.
"'It's the Court Physician,' said the Cook; 'I wonder why he is looking
so melancholy. May I venture to ask, sir,' he inquired respectfully,
'the occasion of your sorrow?'
"'I am to be executed to-morrow by the Grand Panjandrum's order,' said
the Court Physician dolefully, wiping a tear of self-pity from his eye.
"The Chief Cook shrugged his shoulders. 'H'm!' said he, 'if _that's_ the
case, and His Supreme Importance has ordered your execution, nobody can
possibly prevent it, and there is nothing left but to grin and bear it.'
"'No,' said the Court Physician indignantly. 'I may have to bear it, but
I shall _not_ grin. I absolutely refuse! They can't do more than kill
me, and I _won't_ grin, so there!'
"The Chief Cook looked horrified. 'It's one of the laws of the land,' he
said, 'that whenever one suffers anything at the hands of the Grand
Panjandrum, one must grin and bear it; it's a most terrible offence not
to do so.'
"'I don't care,' said the Court Physician recklessly, 'I shan't grin,
and there's an end of it.'
"'Why are you sentenced to death?' I asked.
"'His Supreme Importance, the Grand Panjandrum, has had the toothache
for three days, and I have been unable to subdue it without drawing the
tooth, which His Supreme Importance refuses to permit me to do, and in a
fit of temper yesterday he said that if he were not better to-day I
should be executed to-morrow--and it's worse.'
"The Chief Cook looked at me delightedly.
"'If _that's_ all,' he said, 'this gentleman, whose name I am
unfortunately unacquainted with, has a remedy which will soon get you
out of your trouble, and I shouldn't wonder if, after all, His Supreme
Importance's toothache were the means of raising us all to honour and
distinction;' and he proceeded to tell the Court Physician how I had
been successful in ridding _him_ of the toothache.
"The Court Physician was greatly interested, and after I had read to him
the directions in the book, he suggested that he should take me to the
Palace at once and into the presence of the Grand Panjandrum.
"'For no doubt the operation must be performed by yourself, since you
alone possess the fairy power,' said he. And so we made the best of our
way to the beautiful building which I could see in the distance.
"I wish I could describe to you the magnificence of that marvellous
place. The jewelled windows and golden staircase; the wonderful velvety
carpets and silken hangings; the hundreds of silent servants dressed in
the beautiful royal livery of the Grand Panjandrum, who flitted about
executing immediately the slightest wish echoed in that wonderful place.
"But it is sufficient to say that, after a lot of ceremony, I was at
last ushered into the presence of the Grand Panjandrum himself.
"It is forbidden to anyone, under the most awful penalties, to describe
His Supreme Importance's appearance, so I cannot tell you what he was
like; but I found him suffering the most excruciating agony with the
toothache, and with his face even more swollen than the Chief Cook's had
been.
"At a sign from the Court Physician I quickly prepared my nettle leaves,
which we had thought to gather on our way to the palace, and began to
rub them gently on the Grand Panjandrum's cheek, on the opposite side of
his face to that which was swollen.
"To my horror and amazement, they had no effect whatever, except
immediately to raise a terrible rash upon His Supreme Importance's
cheek, and to cause him such pain that he called out angrily that it
was worse than the toothache itself.
"I hurriedly and anxiously consulted my little book to see if by any
mischance I had failed in carrying out any of the directions; but no,
there it was in black and white--'rub the _other_ side with a stinging
nettle.'
"I showed it to the Court Physician, and he said--
"'Try the "other" side, then: you've rubbed one side, try the other.'
"So in fear and trembling I begged His Supreme Importance's permission
to apply the remedy to his other cheek, and after some demur he agreed,
but making it a condition that if it failed to act I was to be
immediately beheaded.
"You may imagine with what anxiety I awaited the result of my
experiment, and how carefully I rubbed the nettles on.
"It was all in vain: the rash spread under the nettles and the swelling
grew greater than ever--evidently my fairy power refused to work--and
the Grand Panjandrum was in a fearful rage.
"'Fetch the Executioner!' he cried, in terrible tones. 'I will see this
impostor executed before my eyes!' And twenty slaves flew to obey his
command.
"'Grin!' whispered the Court Physician behind his hand, 'grin and bear
it; it's the only thing to be done.'
[Illustration: "The Executioner in his agitation dropped his axe."]
"I gave him a wrathful glance, and was about to speak, when at a sign
from the Grand Panjandrum, two powerful slaves sprang forward and bound
and gagged me.
"There was a sound of approaching footsteps, and from another entrance
the Executioner appeared, followed by some slaves carrying the block.
"I thought my last moment had arrived, but just then, to my intense
delight, I felt a curious sensation, which told me that I was about to
disappear.
"My feet went first (this is not always the case), and then my legs, and
I could see the amazement with which the Grand Panjandrum and all the
assembled company were regarding the, to them, extraordinary phenomenon.
"The Executioner in his agitation dropped his axe, and stood
open-mouthed regarding what was left of me; and, although I was rather
anxious lest they should make an attempt to chop off my head before it
finally disappeared, I managed despite my gag to 'grin' in the Grand
Panjandrum's face, and an instant later I found myself here."
Shin Shira, having finished his story, drew his little fan from his
sleeve and sat fanning himself with great composure, while he regarded
my doubtless astonished face with considerable amusement.
"I--I'll put that story down at once, if you don't mind," I stammered,
hurrying to my desk and getting out some papers.
The drawer stuck, and it was some seconds before I could get it open,
and when I turned round again, to my great dismay, Shin Shira had almost
disappeared.
The little yellow shoes were still there and part of a stocking, but
even as I watched them they too disappeared, the long pointed toes of
the shoes waggling a kind of farewell--or so I thought--and my strange
little visitor had vanished.