I Send The Corticelli to Turin--Helen is Initiated Into The Mysteries of
Love I Go to Lyons--My Arrival at Turin
One of the ladies, Madame Saxe, was intended by nature to win the
devotion of a man of feeling; and if she had not had a jealous officer in
her train who never let her go out of his sight, and seemed to threaten
anyone who aspired to please, she would probably have had plenty of
admirers. This officer was fond of piquet, but the lady was always
obliged to sit close beside him, which she seemed to do with pleasure.
In the afternoon I played with him, and continued doing so for five or
six days. After that I could stand it no longer, as when he had won ten
or twelve louis he invariably rose and left me to myself. His name was
d'Entragues; he was a fine-looking man, though somewhat thin, and had a
good share of wit and knowledge of the world.
We had not played together for two days, when one afternoon he asked if I
would like to take my revenge.
"No, I think not," said I, "for we don't play on the same principle. I
play for amusement's sake and you play to win money."
"What do you mean? Your words are offensive."
"I didn't mean them to be offensive, but as a matter of fact, each time
we have played you have risen after a quarter of an hour."
"You ought to be obliged to me, as otherwise you would have lost
heavily."
"Possibly; but I don't think so."
"I can prove it to you:"
"I accept the offer, but the first to leave the table must forfeit fifty
Louis."
"I agree; but money down."
"I never play on credit."
I ordered a waiter to bring cards, and I went to fetch four or five rolls
of a hundred Louis each. We began playing for five Louis the game, each
player putting down the fifty Louis wagered.
We began to play at three, and at nine o'clock d'Entragues said we might
take some supper.
"I am not hungry," I replied, "but you can go if you want me to put the
hundred Louis in my pocket."
He laughed at this and went on playing, but this lacy fair scowled at me,
though I did not care in the least for that. All the guests went to
supper, and returned to keep us company till midnight, but at that hour
we found ourselves alone. D'Entragues saw what kind of man he had got
hold of and said never a word, while I only opened my lips to score; we
played with the utmost coolness.
At six o'clock the ladies and gentlemen who were taking the waters began
to assemble. We were applauded for our determination, in spite of our
grim look. The Louis were on the table; I had lost a hundred, and yet the
game was going in my favour.
At nine the fair Madame Saxe put in an appearance, and shortly after
Madame d'Urfe came in with M. de Schaumburg. Both ladies advised us to
take a cup of chocolate. D'Entragues was the first to consent, and
thinking that I was almost done he said,--
"Let us agree that the first man who asks for food, who absents himself
for more than a quarter of an hour, or who falls asleep in his chair,
loses the bet."
"I will take you at your word," I replied, "and I adhere to all your
conditions."
The chocolate came, we took it, and proceeded with our play. At noon we
were summoned to dinner, but we both replied that we were not hungry. At
four o'clock we allowed ourselves to be persuaded into taking some soup.
When supper-time came and we were still playing, people began to think
that the affair was getting serious, and Madame Saxe urged us to divide
the wager. D'Entragues, who had won a hundred louis, would have gladly
consented, but I would not give in, and M. de Schaumburg pronounced me
within my rights. My adversary might have abandoned the stake and still
found himself with a balance to the good, but avarice rather than pride
prevented his doing so. I felt the loss myself, but what I cared chiefly
about was the point of honour. I still looked fresh, while he resembled a
disinterred corpse. As Madame Saxe urged me strongly to give way, I
answered that I felt deeply grieved at not being able to satisfy such a
charming woman, but that there was a question of honour in the case; and
I was determined not to yield to my antagonist if I sat there till I fell
dead to the ground.
I had two objects in speaking thus: I wanted to frighten him and to make
him jealous of me. I felt certain that a man in a passion of jealousy
would be quite confused, and I hoped his play would suffer accordingly,
and that I should not have the mortification of losing a hundred louis to
his superior play, though I won the fifty louis of the wager.
The fair Madame Saxe gave me a glance of contempt and left us, but Madame
d'Urfe, who believed I was infallible, avenged me by saying to
d'Entragues, in a tone of the profoundest conviction,--
"O Lord! I pity you, sir."
The company did not return after supper, and we were left alone to our
play. We played on all the night, and I observed my antagonist's face as
closely as the cards. He began to lose his composure, and made mistakes,
his cards got mixed up, and his scoring was wild. I was hardly less done
up than he; I felt myself growing weaker, and I hoped to see him fall to
the ground every moment, as I began to be afraid of being beaten in spite
of the superior strength of my constitution. I had won back my money by
day-break, and I cavilled with him for being away for more than a quarter
of an hour. This quarrel about nothing irritated him, and roused me up;
the difference of our natures produced these different results, and my
stratagem succeeded because it was impromptu, and could not have been
foreseen. In the same way in war, sudden stratagems succeed.
At nine o'clock Madame Saxe came in, her lover was losing.
"Now, sir," she said to me, "you may fairly yield."
"Madam," said I, "in hope of pleasing you, I will gladly divide the
stakes and rise from the table."
The tone of exaggerated gallantry with which I pronounced these words,
put d'Entragues into a rage, and he answered sharply that he would not
desist till one of us was dead.
With a glance at the lady which was meant to be lovelorn, but which must
have been extremely languid in my exhausted state, I said,--
"You see, Madam, that I am not the more obstinate of the two."
A dish of soup was served to us, but d'Entragues, who was in the last
stage of exhaustion, had no sooner swallowed the soup than he fell from
his chair in a dead faint. He was soon taken up, and after I had given
six louis to the marker who had been watching for forty-eight hours, I
pocketed the gold, and went to the apothecary's where I took a mild
emetic. Afterwards I went to bed and slept for a few hours, and at three
o'clock I made an excellent dinner.
D'Entragues remained in his room till the next day. I expected a quarrel,
but the night brings counsel, and I made a mistake. As soon as he saw me
he ran up to me and embraced me, saying,--
"I made a silly bet, but you have given me a lesson which will last me
all my days, and I am much obliged to you for it."
"I am delighted to hear it, provided that your health has not suffered."
"No, I am quite well, but we will play no more together."
"Well, I hope we shan't play against each other any more."
In the course of eight or ten days I took Madame d'Urfe and the pretended
Lascaris to Bale. We put up at the inn of the famous Imhoff, who swindled
us, but, all the same, the "Three Kings" is the best inn in the town. I
think I have noted that noon at Bale is at eleven o'clock--an absurdity
due to some historic event, which I had explained to me but have
forgotten. The inhabitants are said to be subject to a kind of madness,
of which they are cured by taking the waters of Sulzbach; but they 'get
it again as soon as they return.
We should have stayed at Bale some time, if it had not been for an
incident which made me hasten our departure. It was as follows:
My necessities had obliged me to forgive the Corticelli to a certain
extent, and when I came home early I spent the night with her; but when I
came home late, as often happened, I slept in my own room. The little
hussy, in the latter case, slept also alone in a room next to her
mother's, through whose chamber one had to pass to get to the daughter's.
One night I came in at one o'clock, and not feeling inclined to sleep, I
took a candle and went in search of my charmer. I was rather surprised to
find Signora Laura's door half open, and just as I was going in the old
woman came forward and took me by the arm, begging me not to go into her
daughter's room.
"Why?" said I.
"She has been very poorly all the evening, and she is in need of sleep."
"Very good; then I will sleep too."
So saying I pushed the mother to one side, and entering the girl's room I
found her in bed with someone who was hiding under the sheets.
I 'gazed at the picture for a moment and then began to laugh, and sitting
down on the bed begged to enquire the name of the happy individual whom I
should have the pleasure of throwing out of the window. On a chair I saw
the coat, trousers, hat, and cane of the gentleman; but as I had my two
trusty pistols about me I knew I had nothing to fear; however, I did not
want to make a noise.
With tears in her eyes, and trembling all over, the girl took my hand and
begged me to forgive her.
"It's a young lord," said she, "and I don't even know his name."
"Oh, he is a young lord, is he? and you don't know his name, you little
hussy, don't you? Well, he will tell me himself."
So saying, I took a pistol and vigorously stripped the sheets off the
cuckoo who had got into my nest. I saw the face of a young man whom I did
not know, his head covered with a nightcap, but the rest perfectly naked,
as indeed was my mistress. He turned his back to me to get his shirt
which he had thrown on the floor, but seizing him by the arm I held him
firmly, with my pistol to his forehead.
"Kindly tell me your name, fair sir."
"I am Count B----, canon of Bale."
"And do you think you have been performing an ecclesiastical function
here?"
"No sir, no, and I hope you will forgive me and the lady too, for I am
the only guilty party."
"I am not asking you whether she is guilty or not."
"Sir, the countess is perfectly innocent."
I felt in a good temper, and far from being angry I was strongly inclined
to laugh. I found the picture before me an attractive one; it was amusing
and voluptuous. The sight of the two nudities on the bed was a truly
lascivious one, and I remained contemplating it in silence for a quarter
of an hour, occupied in resisting a strong temptation to take off my
clothes and lie beside them. The only thing which prevented my yielding
to it was the fear that I might find the canon to be a fool, incapable of
playing the part with dignity. As for the Corticelli, she soon passed
from tears to laughter, and would have done it well, but if, as I feared,
the canon was a blockhead, I should have been degrading myself.
I felt certain that neither of them had guessed my thoughts, so I rose
and told the canon to put on his clothes.
"No one must hear anything more of this," said I, "but you and I will go
to a distance of two hundred paces and burn a little powder."
"No, no, sir," cried my gentleman, "you may take me where you like, and
kill me if you please, but I was not meant for a fighting man."
"Really?"
"Yes, sir, and I only became a priest to escape the fatal duty of
duelling."
"Then you are a coward, and will not object to a good thrashing?"
"Anything you like, but it would be cruelty, for my love blinded me. I
only came here a quarter of an hour ago, and the countess and her
governess were both asleep."
"You are a liar."
"I had only just taken off my shirt when you came, and I have never seen
this angel before."
"And that's gospel truth," said the Corticelli.
"Are you aware that you are a couple of impudent scoundrels? And as for
you, master canon, you deserve to be roasted like St. Laurence."
In the meanwhile the wretched ecclesiastic had huddled on his clothes.
"Follow me, sir," said I, in a tone which froze the marrow of his bones;
and I accordingly took him to my room.
"What will you do," said I, "if I forgive you and let you go without
putting you to shame?"
"I will leave in an hour and a half, and you shall never see me here
again; but even if we meet in the future, you will find me always ready
to do you a service."
"Very good. Begone, and in the future take more precautions in your
amorous adventures."
After this I went to bed, well pleased with what I had seen and what I
had done, for I now had complete power over the Corticelli.
In the morning I called on her as soon as I got up, and told her to pack
up her things, forbidding her to leave her room till she got into the
carriage.
"I shall say I am ill."
"Just as you please, but nobody will take any notice of you."
I did not wait for her to make any further objections, but proceeded to
tell the tale of what had passed to Madame d'Urfe, slightly embroidering
the narrative. She laughed heartily, and enquired of the oracle what must
be done with the Lascaris after her evident pollution by the evil genius
disguised as a priest. The oracle replied that we must set out the next
day for Besancon, whence she would go to Lyons and await me there, while
I would take the countess to Geneva, and thus send her back to her native
country.
The worthy visionary was enchanted with this arrangement, and saw in it
another proof of the benevolence of Selenis, who would thus give her an
opportunity of seeing young Aranda once more. It was agreed that I was to
rejoin her in the spring of the following year, to perform the great
operation which was to make her be born a man. She had not the slightest
doubts as to the reasonableness of this performance.
All was ready, and the next day we started; Madame d'Urfe and I in the
travelling carriage, and the Corticelli, her mother, and the servants in
another conveyance.
When we got to Besancon Madame d'Urfe left me, and on the next day I
journeyed towards Geneva with the mother and daughter.
On the way I not only did not speak to my companions, I did not so much
as look at them. I made them have their meals with a servant from the
Franche Comte, whom I had taken on M. de Schaumburg's recommendation.
I went to my banker, and asked him to get me a good coachman, who would
take two ladies of my acquaintance to Turin.
When I got back to the inn I wrote to the Chevalier Raiberti, sending him
a bill of exchange. I warned him that in three or four days after the
receipt of my letter he would be accosted by a Bolognese dancer and her
mother, bearing a letter of commendation. I begged him to see that they
lodged in a respectable house, and to pay for them on my behalf. I also
said that I should be much obliged if he would contrive that she should
dance, even for nothing, at the carnival, and I begged him to warn her
that, if I heard any tales about her when I came to Turin, our relations
would be at an end.
The following day a clerk of M. Tronchin's brought a coachman for me to
see. The man said he was ready to start as soon as he had had his dinner.
I confirmed the agreement he had made with the banker, I summoned the two
Corticellis, and said to the coachman,
"These are the persons you are to drive, and they will pay you when they
reach Turin in safety with their luggage. You are to take four days and a
half for the journey, as is stipulated in the agreement, of which they
have one copy and you another." An hour after he called to put the
luggage in.
The Corticelli burst into tears, but I was not so cruel as to send her
away without any consolation. Her bad conduct had been severely enough
punished already. I made her dine with me, and as I gave her the letter
for M. Raiberti, and twenty-five Louis for the journey, I told her what I
had written to the gentleman, who would take good care of them. She asked
me for a trunk containing three dresses and a superb mantle which Madame
d'Urfe had given her before she became mad, but I said that we would talk
of that at Turin. She dared not mention the casket, but continued
weeping; however, she did not move me to pity. I left her much better off
than when I first knew her; she had good clothes, good linen, jewels, and
an exceedingly pretty watch I had given her; altogether a good deal more
than she deserved.
As she was going I escorted her to the carriage, less for politeness'
sake than to commend her once more to the coachman. When she was fairly
gone I felt as if a load had been taken off my back, and I went to look
up my worthy syndic, whom the reader will not have forgotten. I had not
written to him since I was in Florence, and I anticipated the pleasure of
seeing his surprise, which was extreme. But after gazing at me for a
moment he threw his arms round my neck, kissed me several times, and said
he had not expected the pleasure of seeing me.
"How are our sweethearts getting on?"
"Excellently. They are always talking about you and regretting your
absence; they will go wild with joy when they know you are here."
"You must tell them directly, then."
"I will go and warn them that we shall all sup together this evening. By
the way, M. de Voltaire has given up his house at Delices to M. de
Villars, and has gone to live at Ferney."
"That makes no difference to me, as I was not thinking of calling on him
this time. I shall be here for two or three weeks, and I mean to devote
my time to you."
"You are too good."
"Will you give me writing materials before you go out? I will write a few
letters while you are away."
He put me in possession of his desk, and I wrote to my late housekeeper,
Madame Lebel, telling her that I was going to spend three weeks at
Geneva, and that if I were sure of seeing her I would gladly pay a visit
to Lausanne. Unfortunately, I also wrote to the bad Genoese poet, Ascanio
Pogomas, or Giaccomo Passano, whom I had met at Leghorn. I told him to go
to Turin and to wait for me there. At the same time I wrote to M. F----,
to whom I had commended him, asking him to give the poet twelve Louis for
the journey.
My evil genius made me think of this man, who was an imposing-looking
fellow, and had all the air of a magician, to introduce him to Madame
d'Urfe as a great adept. You will see, dear reader, in the course of a
year whether I had reason to repent of this fatal inspiration.
As the syndic and I were on our way to our young friend's house I saw an
elegant English carriage for sale, and I exchanged it for mine, giving
the owner a hundred Louis as well. While the bargain was going on the
uncle of the young theologian who argued so well, and to whom I had given
such pleasant lessons in physiology, came up to me, embraced me, and
asked me to dine with him the next day.
Before we got to the house the syndic informed me that we should find
another extremely pretty but uninitiated girl present.
"All the better," said I, "I shall know how to regulate my conduct, and
perhaps I may succeed in initiating her."
In my pocket I had placed a casket containing a dozen exquisite rings. I
had long been aware that such trifling presents are often very
serviceable.
The moment of meeting those charming girls once more was one of the
happiest I have ever enjoyed. In their greeting I read delight and love
of pleasure. Their love was without envy or jealousy, or any ideas which
would have injured their self-esteem. They felt worthy of my regard, as
they had lavished their favours on me without any degrading feelings, and
drawn by the same emotion that had drawn me.
The presence of the neophyte obliged us to greet each other with what is
called decency, and she allowed me to kiss her without raising her eyes,
but blushing violently.
After the usual commonplaces had passed and we had indulged in some
double meanings which made us laugh and her look thoughtful, I told her
she was pretty as a little love, and that I felt sure that her mind, as
beautiful as its casket, could harbour no prejudices.
"I have all the prejudices which honour and religion suggest," she
modestly replied.
I saw that this was a case requiring very delicate treatment. There was
no question of carrying the citadel by sudden assault. But, as usual, I
fell in love with her.
The syndic having pronounced my name, she said,--
"Ah! then, you, sir, are the person who discussed some very singular
questions with my cousin, the pastor's niece. I am delighted to make your
acquaintance."
"I am equally pleased to make yours, but I hope the pastor's niece said
nothing against me."
"Not at all; she has a very high opinion of you."
"I am going to dine with her to-morrow, and I shall take care to thank
her."
"To-morrow! I should like to be there, for I enjoy philosophical
discussions though I never dare to put a word in."
The syndic praised her discretion and wisdom in such a manner that I was
convinced he was in love with her, and that he had either seduced her or
was trying to do so. Her name was Helen. I asked the young ladies if
Helen was their sister. The eldest replied, with a sly smile, that she
was a sister, but as yet she had no brother; and with this explanation
she ran up to Helen and kissed her. Then the syndic and I vied with each
other in paying her compliments, telling her that we hoped to be her
brothers. She blushed, but gave no answer to our gallantries. I then drew
forth my casket, and seeing that all the girls were enchanted with the
rings, I told them to choose which ones they liked best. The charming
Helen imitated their example, and repaid me with a modest kiss. Soon
after she left us, and we were once more free, as in old times.
The syndic had good cause to shew for his love of Helen. She was not
merely pleasing, she was made to inspire a violent passion. However, the
three friends had no hope of making her join in their pleasures, for they
said that she had invincible feelings of modesty where men were
concerned.
We supped merrily, and after supper we began our sports again, the syndic
remaining as usual a mere looker-on, and well pleased with his part. I
treated each of the three nymphs to two courses, deceiving them whenever
I was forced by nature to do so. At midnight we broke up, and the worthy
syndic escorted me to the door of my lodging.
The day following I went to the pastor's and found a numerous party
assembled, amongst others M. d'Harcourt and M. de Ximenes, who told me
that M. de Voltaire knew that I was at Geneva and hoped to see me. I
replied by a profound bow. Mdlle. Hedvig, the pastor's niece,
complimented me, but I was still better pleased to see her cousin Helen.
The theologian of twenty-two was fair and pleasant to the eyes, but she
had not that 'je ne sais quoi', that shade of bitter-sweet, which adds
zest to hope as well as pleasure. However, the evident friendship between
Hedvig and Helen gave me good hopes of success with the latter.
We had an excellent dinner, and while it lasted the conversation was
restricted to ordinary topics; but at dessert the pastor begged M. de
Ximenes to ask his niece some questions. Knowing his worldwide
reputation, I expected him to put her some problem in geometry, but he
only asked whether a lie could be justified on the principle of a mental
reservation.
Hedvig replied that there are cases in which a lie is necessary, but that
the principle of a mental reservation is always a cheat.
"Then how could Christ have said that the time in which the world was to
come to an end was unknown to Him?"
"He was speaking the truth; it was not known to Him."
"Then he was not God?"
"That is a false deduction, for since God may do all things, He may
certainly be ignorant of an event in futurity."
I thought the way in which she brought in the word "futurity" almost
sublime. Hedvig was loudly applauded, and her uncle went all round the
table to kiss her. I had a very natural objection on the tip of my
tongue, which she might have found difficult to answer, but I wanted to
get into her good graces and I kept my own counsel.
M. d'Harcourt was urged to ask her some questions, but he replied in the
words of Horace, 'Nulla mihi religio est'. Then Hedvig turned to me and
asked me to put her some hard question, "something difficult, which you
don't know yourself."
"I shall be delighted. Do you grant that a god possesses in a supreme
degree the qualities of man?"
"Yes, excepting man's weaknesses."
"Do you class the generative power as a weakness?"
"No."
"Will you tell me, then, of what nature would have been the offspring of
a union between a god and a mortal woman?"
Hedvig looked as red as fire.
The pastor and the other guests looked at each other, while I gazed
fixedly at the young theologian, who was reflecting. M. d'Harcourt said
that we should have to send for Voltaire to settle a question so
difficult, but as Hedvig had collected her thoughts and seemed ready to
speak everybody was silent.
"It would be absurd," said she, "to suppose that a deity could perform
such an action without its having any results. At the end of nine months
a woman would be delivered a male child, which would be three parts man
and one part god."
At these words all the guests applauded, M. de Ximenes expressed his
admiration of the way the question had been solved, adding,--
"Naturally, if the son of the woman married, his children would be
seven-eighths men and one-eighth gods."
"Yes," said I, "unless he married a goddess, which would have made the
proportion different."
"Tell me exactly," said Hedvig, "what proportion of divinity there would
be in a child of the sixteenth generation."
"Give me a pencil and I will soon tell you," said M. de Ximenes.
"There is no need to calculate it," said I; "the child would have some
small share of the wit which you enjoy."
Everybody applauded this gallant speech, which did not by any means
offend the lady to whom it was addressed.
This pretty blonde was chiefly desirable for the charms of her intellect.
We rose from the table and made a circle round her, but she told us with
much grace not to pay her any more compliments.
I took Helen aside, and told her to get her cousin to choose a ring from
my casket, which I gave her, and she seemed glad to execute the
commission. A quarter of an hour afterwards Hedvig came to shew me her
hand adorned with the ring she had chosen. I kissed it rapturously, and
she must have guessed from the warmth of my kisses with what feelings she
had inspired me.
In the evening Helen told the syndic and the three girls all about the
morning's discussion without leaving out the smallest detail. She told
the story with ease and grace, and I had no occasion to prompt her. We
begged her to stay to supper, but she whispered something to the three
friends, and they agreed that it was impossible; but she said that she
might spend a couple of days with them in their country house on the
lake, if they would ask her mother.
At the syndic's request the girls called on the mother the next day, and
the day after that they went off with Helen. The same evening we went and
supped with them, but we could not sleep there. The syndic was to take me
to a house at a short distance off, where we should be very comfortable.
This being the case there was no hurry, and the eldest girl said that the
syndic and I could leave whenever we liked, but that they were going to
bed. So saying she took Helen to her room, while the two others slept in
another room. Soon after the syndic went into the room where Helen was,
and I visited the two others.
I had scarcely been with my two sweethearts for an hour when the syndic
interrupted my erotic exploits by begging me to go.
"What have you done with Helen?" I asked.
"Nothing; she's a simpleton, and an intractable one. She hid under the
sheets and would not look at my performance with her friend."
"You ought to go to her direct."
"I have done so, but she repulsed me again and again. I have given it up,
and shall not try it again, unless you will tame her for me."
"How is it to be done?"
"Come to dinner to-morrow. I shall be away at Geneva. I shall be back by
supper-time. I wish we could give her too much to drink!"
"That would be a pity. Let me see what I can do."
I accordingly went to dine with them by myself the next day, and they
entertained me in all the force of the word. After dinner we went for a
walk, and the three friends understanding my aims left me alone with the
intractable girl, who resisted my caresses in a manner which almost made
me give up the hope of taming her.
"The syndic," said I, "is in love with you, and last night . . .
"Last night," she said, "he amused himself with his old friend. I am for
everyone's following their own tastes, but I expect to be allowed to
follow mine."
"If I could gain your heart I should be happy."
"Why don't you invite the pastor and my cousin to dine with you? I could
come too, for the pastor makes much of everyone who loves his niece."
"I am glad to hear that. Has she a lover?"
"No."
"I can scarcely believe it. She is young, pretty, agreeable, and very
clever."
"You don't understand Genevan ways. It is because she is so clever that
no young man falls in love with her. Those who might be attracted by her
personal charms hold themselves aloof on account of her intellectual
capacities, as they would have to sit in silence before her."
"Are the young Genevans so ignorant, then?"
"As a rule they are. Some of them have received excellent educations, but
in a general way they are full of prejudice. Nobody wishes to be
considered a fool or a blockhead, but clever women are not appreciated;
and if a girl is witty or well educated she endeavors to hide her lights,
at least if she desires to be married."
"Ah! now I see why you did not open your lips during our discussion."
"No, I know I have nothing to hide. This was not the motive which made me
keep silence, but the pleasure of listening. I admired my cousin, who was
not afraid to display her learning on a subject which any other girl
would have affected to know nothing about."
"Yes, affected, though she might very probably know as much as her
grandmother."
"That's a matter of morals, or rather of prejudices."
"Your reasoning is admirable, and I am already longing for the party you
so cleverly suggested:"
"You will have the pleasure of being with my cousin."
"I do her justice. Hedvig is certainly a very interesting and agreeable
girl, but believe me it is your presence that will constitute my chief
enjoyment."
"And how if I do not believe you?"
"You would wrong me and give me pain, for I love you dearly."
"In spite of that you have deceived me. I am sure that you have given
marks of your affection to those three young ladies. For my part I pity
them."
"Why?"
"Because neither of them can flatter herself that you love her, and her
alone."
"And do you think that your delicacy of feeling makes you happier than
they are?"
"Yes, I think so though of course, I have no experience in the matter.
Tell me truly, do you think I am right?"
"Yes, I do."
"I am delighted to hear it; but you must confess that to associate me
with them in your attentions would not be giving me the greatest possible
proof of your love."
"Yes, I do confess it, and I beg your pardon. But tell me how I should
set to work to ask the pastor to dinner."
"There will be no difficulty. Just call on him and ask him to come, and
if you wish me to be of the party beg him to ask my mother and myself."
"Why your mother?"
"Because he has been in love with her these twenty years, and loves her
still."
"And where shall I give this dinner?"
"Is not M. Tronchin your banker?"
"Yes."
"He has a nice pleasure house on the lake; ask him to lend it you for the
day; he will be delighted to do so. But don't tell the syndic or his
three friends anything about it; they can hear of it afterwards."
"But do you think your learned cousin will be glad to be in my company?"
"More than glad, you may be sure."
"Very good, everything will be arranged by tomorrow. The day after, you
will be returning to Geneva, and the party will take place two or three
days later."
The syndic came back in due course, and we had a very pleasant evening.
After supper the ladies went to bed as before, and I went with the eldest
girl while the syndic visited the two younger ones. I knew that it would
be of no use to try to do anything with Helen, so I contented myself with
a few kisses, after which I wished them good night and passed on to the
next room. I found them in a deep sleep, and the syndic seemed visibly
bored. He did not look more cheerful when I told him that I had had no
success with Helen.
"I see," said he, "that I shall waste my time with the little fool. I
think I shall give her up."
"I think that's the best thing you could do," I replied, "for a man who
languishes after a woman who is either devoid of feeling or full of
caprice, makes himself her dupe. Bliss should be neither too easy nor too
hard to be won."
The next day we returned to Geneva, and M. Tronchin seemed delighted to
oblige me. The pastor accepted my invitation, and said I was sure to be
charmed with Helen's mother. It was easy to see that the worthy man
cherished a tenderness for her, and if she responded at all it would be
all the better for my purposes.
I was thinking of supping with the charming Helen and her three friends
at the house on the lake, but an express summoned me to Lausanne. Madame
Lebel, my old housekeeper, invited me to sup with her and her husband.
She wrote that she had made her husband promise to take her to Lausanne
as soon as she got my letter, and she added she was sure that I would
resign everything to give her the pleasure of seeing me. She notified the
hour at which she would be at her mother's house.
Madame Lebel was one of the ten or twelve women for whom in my happy
youth I cherished the greatest affection. She had all the qualities to
make a man a good wife, if it had been my fate to experience such
felicity. But perhaps I did well not to tie myself down with irrevocable
bonds, though now my independence is another name for slavery. But if I
had married a woman of tact, who would have ruled me unawares to myself,
I should have taken care of my fortune and have had children, instead of
being lonely and penniless in my old age.
But I must indulge no longer in digressions on the past which cannot be
recalled, and since my recollections make me happy I should be foolish to
cherish idle regrets.
I calculated that if I started directly I should get to Lausanne an hour
before Madame Lebel, and I did not hesitate to give her this proof of my
regard. I must here warn my readers, that, though I loved this woman
well, I was then occupied with another passion, and no voluptuous thought
mingled with my desire of seeing her. My esteem for her was enough to
hold my passions in check, but I esteemed Lebel too, and nothing would
have induced me to disturb the happiness of this married pair.
I wrote in haste to the syndic, telling him that an important and sudden
call obliged me to start for Lausanne, but that I should have the
pleasure of supping with him and his three friends at Geneva on the
following day.
I knocked at Madame Dubois's door at five o'clock, almost dying with
hunger. Her surprise was extreme, for she did not know that her daughter
was going to meet me at her house. Without more ado I gave her two louis
to get us a good supper.
At seven o'clock, Madame Lebel, her husband, and a child of eighteen
months, whom I easily recognized as my own, arrived. Our meeting was a
happy one indeed; we spent ten hours at table, and mirth and joy
prevailed. At day-break she started for Soleure, where Lebel had
business. M. de Chavigni had desired to be remembered most affectionately
to me. Lebel assured me that the ambassador was extremely kind to his
wife, and he thanked me heartily for having given such a woman up to him.
I could easily see that he was a happy husband, and that his wife was as
happy as he.
My dear housekeeper talked to me about my son. She said that nobody
suspected the truth, but that neither she nor Lebel (who had faithfully
kept his promise, and had not consummated the marriage for the two months
agreed upon) had any doubts.
"The secret," said Lebel to me, "will never be known, and your son will
be my sole heir, or will share my property with my children if I ever
have any, which I doubt."
"My dear," said his wife, "there is somebody who has very strong
suspicions on the subject, and these suspicions will gain strength as the
child grows older; but we have nothing to fear on that score, as she is
well paid to keep the secret."
"And who is this person?" said I.
"Madame----. She has not forgotten the past, and often speaks of you."
"Will you kindly remember me to her?"
"I shall be delighted to do so, and I am sure the message will give her
great pleasure."
Lebel shewed me my ring, and I shewed him his, and gave him a superb
watch for my son.
"You must give it him," I said, "when you think he is old enough."
We shall hear of the young gentleman in twenty-one years at
Fontainebleau.
I passed three hours in telling them of all the adventures I had during
the twenty-seven months since we had seen one another. As to their
history, it was soon told; it had all the calm which belongs to
happiness.
Madame Lebel was as pretty as ever, and I could see no change in her, but
I was no longer the same man. She thought me less lively than of old, and
she was right. The Renaud had blasted me, and the pretended Lascaris had
given me a great deal of trouble and anxiety.
We embraced each other tenderly, and the wedded pair returned to Soleure
and I to Geneva; but feeling that I wanted rest I wrote to the syndic
that I was not well and could not come till the next day, and after I had
done so I went to bed.
The next day, the eve of my dinner party, I ordered a repast in which no
expense was to be spared. I did not forget to tell the landlord to get me
the best wines, the choicest liqueurs, ices, and all the materials for a
bowl of punch. I told him that we should be six in number, for I foresaw
that M. Tronchin would dine with us. I was right; I found him at his
pretty house ready to receive us, and I had not much trouble in inducing
him to stay. In the evening I thought it as well to tell the syndic and
his three friends about it in Helen's presence, while she, feigning
ignorance, said that her mother had told her they were going somewhere or
other to dinner.
"I am delighted to hear it," said I; "it must be at M. Tronchin's."
My dinner would have satisfied the most exacting gourmet, but Hedvig was
its real charm. She treated difficult theological questions with so much
grace, and rationalised so skilfully, that though one might not be
convinced it was impossible to help being attracted. I have never seen
any theologian who could treat the most difficult points with so much
facility, eloquence, and real dignity, and at dinner she completed her
conquest of myself. M. Tronchin, who had never heard her speak before,
thanked me a hundred times for having procured him this pleasure, and
being obliged to leave us by the call of business he asked us to meet
again in two days' time.
I was much interested during the dessert by the evident tenderness of the
pastor for Helen's mother. His amorous eloquence grew in strength as he
irrigated his throat with champagne, Greek wine, and eastern liqueurs.
The lady seemed pleased, and was a match for him as far as drinking was
concerned, while the two girls and myself only drank with sobriety.
However, the mixture of wines, and above all the punch, had done their
work, and my charmers were slightly elevated. Their spirits were
delightful, but rather pronounced.
I took this favourable opportunity to ask the two aged lovers if I might
take the young ladies for a walk in the garden by the lake, and they told
us enthusiastically to go and enjoy ourselves. We went out arm in arm,
and in a few minutes we were out of sight of everyone.
"Do you know," said I to Hedvig, "that you have made a conquest of M.
Tronchin?"
"Have I? The worthy banker asked me some very silly questions."
"You must not expect everyone to be able to contend with you."
"I can't help telling you that your question pleased me best of all. A
bigoted theologian at the end of the table seemed scandalized at the
question and still more at the answer."
"And why?"
"He says I ought to have told you that a deity could not impregnate a
woman. He said that he would explain the reason to me if I were a man,
but being a woman and a maid he could not with propriety expound such
mysteries. I wish you would tell me what the fool meant."
"I should be very glad, but you must allow me to speak plainly, and I
shall have to take for granted that you are acquainted with the physical
conformation of a man."
"Yes, speak as plainly as you like, for there is nobody to hear what we
say; but I must confess that I am only acquainted with the peculiarities
of the male by theory and reading. I have no practical knowledge. I have
seen statues, but I have never seen or examined a real live man. Have
you, Helen?"
"I have never wished to do so."
"Why not? It is good to know everything."
"Well, Hedvig, your theologian meant to say that a god was not capable of
this."
"What is that?"
"Give me your hand."
"I can feel it, and have thought it would be something like that; without
this provision of nature man would not be able to fecundate his mate. And
how could the foolish theologian maintain that this was an imperfection?"
"Because it is the result of desire, Hedvig, and it would not have taken
place in me if I had not been charmed with you, and if I had not
conceived the most seducing ideas of the beauties that I cannot see from
the view of the beauties I can see. Tell me frankly whether feeling that
did not give you an agreeable sensation."
"It did, and just in the place where your hand is now. Don't you feel a
pleasant tickling there, Helen, after what the gentleman has been saying
to us?"
"Yes, I feel it, but I often do, without anything to excite me."
"And then," said I, "nature makes you appease it . . . thus?"
"Not at all."
"Oh, yes!" said Hedvig. "Even when we are asleep our hands seek that spot
as if by instinct, and if it were not for that solace I think we should
get terribly ill."
As this philosophical discourse, conducted by the young theologian in
quite a professional manner, proceeded, we reached a beautiful basin of
water, with a flight of marble steps for bathers. Although the air was
cool our heads were hot, and I conceived the idea of telling them that it
would do them good to bathe their feet, and that if they would allow me I
would take off their shoes and stockings.
"I should like to so much," said Hedvig.
"And I too," said Helen.
"Then sit down, ladies, on the first step."
They proceeded to sit down and I began to take off their shoes, praising
the beauty of their legs, and pretending for the present not to want to
go farther than the knee. When they got into the water they were obliged
to pick up their clothes, and I encouraged them to do so.
"Well, well," said Hedvig, "men have thighs too."
Helen, who would have been ashamed to be beaten by her cousin, was not
backward in shewing her legs.
"That will do, charming maids," said I, "you might catch cold if you
stayed longer in the water."
They walked up backwards, still holding up their clothes for fear of
wetting them, and it was then my duty to wipe them dry with all the
handkerchiefs I had. This pleasant task left me at freedom to touch and
see, and the reader will imagine that I did my best in that direction.
The fair theologian told me I wanted to know too much, but Helen let me
do what I liked with such a tender and affectionate expression that it
was as much as I could do to keep within bounds. At last, when I had
drawn on their shoes and stockings, I told them that I was delighted to
have seen the hidden charms of the two prettiest girls in Geneva.
"What effect had it on you?" asked Hedvig.
"I daren't tell you to look, but feel, both of you."
"Do you bathe, too."
"It's out of the question, a man's undressing takes so much trouble."
"But we have still two hours before us, in which we need not fear any
interruption."
This reply gave me a foretaste of the bliss I had to gain, but I did not
wish to expose myself to an illness by going into the water in my present
state. I noticed a summer-house at a little distance, and feeling sure
that M. Tronchin had left the door open, I took the two girls on my arm
and led them there without giving them any hint of my intentions. The
summer-house was scented with vases of pot-pourri and adorned with
engravings; but, best of all, there was a large couch which seemed made
for repose and pleasure. I sat down on it between my two sweethearts, and
as I caressed them I told them I was going to shew them something they
had never seen before, and without more ado I displayed to their gaze the
principal agent in the preservation of the human race. They got up to
admire it, and taking a hand of each one I procured them some enjoyment,
but in the middle of their labours an abundant flow of liquid threw them
into the greatest astonishment.
"That," said I, "is the Word which makes men."
"It's beautiful!" cried Helen, laughing at the term "word."
"I have a word too," said Hedvig, "and I will shew it to you if you will
wait a minute."
"Come, Hedvig, and I will save you the trouble of making it yourself, and
will do it better."
"I daresay, but I have never done it with a man."
"No more have I," said Helen.
Placing them in front of me I gave them another ecstacy. We then sat
down, and while I felt all their charms I let them touch me as much as
they liked till I watered their hands a second time.
We made ourselves decent once more, and spent half an hour in kisses and
caresses, and I then told them that they had made me happy only in part,
but that I hoped they would make my bliss complete by presenting me with
their maidenheads. I shewed them the little safety-bags invented by the
English in the interests of the fair sex. They admired them greatly when
I explained their use, and the fair theologian remarked to her cousin
that she would think it over. We were now close friends, and soon
promised to be something more; and we walked back and found the pastor
and Helen's mother strolling by the side of the lake.
When I got back to Geneva I went to spend the evening with the three
friends, but I took good care not to tell the syndic anything about my
victory with Helen. It would only have served to renew his hopes, and he
would have had this trouble for nothing. Even I would have done no good
without the young theologian; but as Helen admired her she did not like
to appear her inferior by refusing to imitate her freedom.
I did not see Helen that evening, but I saw her the next day at her
mother's house, for I was in mere politeness bound to thank the old lady
for the honour she had done me. She gave me a most friendly reception,
and introduced me to two very pretty girls who were boarding with her.
They might have interested me if I had been stopping long in Geneva, but
as if was Helen claimed all my attraction.
"To-morrow," said the charming girl, "I shall be able to get a word with
you at Madame Tronchin's dinner, and I expect Hedvig will have hit on
some way for you to satisfy your desires."
The banker gave us an excellent dinner. He proudly told me that no
inn-keeper could give such a good dinner as a rich gentleman who has a
good cook, a good cellar, good silver plate, and china of the best
quality. We were twenty of us at table, and the feast was given chiefly
in honour of the learned theologian and myself, as a rich foreigner who
spent money freely. M. de Ximenes, who had just arrived from Ferney was
there, and told me that M. de Voltaire was expecting me, but I had
foolishly determined not to go.
Hedvig shone in solving the questions put to her by the company. M. de
Ximenes begged her to justify as best she could our first mother, who had
deceived her husband by giving him the fatal apple to eat.
"Eve," she said, "did not deceive her husband, she only cajoled him into
eating it in the hope of giving him one more perfection. Besides Eve had
not been forbidden to eat the fruit by God, but only by Adam, and in all
probability her woman's sense prevented her regarding the prohibition as
serious."
At this reply, which I found full of sense and wit, two scholars from
Geneva and even Hedvig's uncle began to murmur and shake their heads.
Madame Tronchin said gravely that Eve had received the prohibition from
God himself, but the girl only answered by a humble "I beg your pardon,
madam." At this she turned to the pastor with a frightened manner, and
said,--
"What do you say to this?"
"Madam, my niece is not infallible."
"Excuse me, dear uncle, I am as infallible as Holy Writ when I speak
according to it."
"Bring a Bible, and let me see."
"Hedvig, my dear Hedvig, you are right after all. Here it is. The
prohibition was given before woman was made."
Everybody applauded, but Hedvig remained quite calm; it was only the two
scholars and Madame Tronchin who still seemed disturbed. Another lady
then asked her if it was allowable to believe the history of the apple to
be symbolical. She replied,--
"I do not think so, because it could only be a symbol of sexual union,
and it is clear that such did not take place between Adam and Eve in the
Garden of Eden."
"The learned differ on this point."
"All the worse for them, madam, the Scripture is plain enough. In the
first verse of the fourth chapter it is written, that Adam knew his wife
after they had been driven from the Garden, and that in consequence she
conceived Cain."
"Yes, but the verse does not say that Adam did not know her before and
consequently he might have done so."
"I cannot admit the inference, as in that case she would have conceived;
for it would be absurd to suppose that two creatures who had just left
God's hands, and were consequently as nearly perfect as is possible,
could perform the act of generation without its having any result."
This reply gained everyone's applause, and compliments to Hedvig made the
round of the table.
Mr. Tronchin asked her if the doctrine of the immortality of the soul
could be gathered from the Old Testament alone.
"The Old Testament," she replied, "does not teach this doctrine; but,
nevertheless, human reason teaches it, as the soul is a substance, and
the destruction of any substance is an unthinkable proposition."
"Then I will ask you," said the banker, "if the existence of the soul is
established in the Bible."
"Where there is smoke there is always fire."
"Tell me, then, if matter can think."
"I cannot answer that question, for it is beyond my knowledge. I can only
say that as I believe God to be all powerful, I cannot deny Him the power
to make matter capable of thought."
"But what is your own opinion?"
"I believe that I have a soul endowed with thinking capacities, but I do
not know whether I shall remember that I had the honour of dining with
you to-day after I die."
"Then you think that the soul and the memory may be separable; but in
that case you would not be a theologian."
"One may be a theologian and a philosopher, for philosophy never
contradicts any truth, and besides, to say 'I do not know' is not the
same as 'I am sure'."
Three parts of the guests burst into cries of admiration, and the fair
philosopher enjoyed seeing me laugh for pleasure at the applause. The
pastor wept for joy, and whispered something to Helen's mother. All at
once he turned to me, saying,--
"Ask my niece some question."
"Yes," said Hedvig, "but it must be something quite new."
"That is a hard task," I replied, "for how am I to know that what I ask
is new to you? However, tell me if one must stop at the first principle
of a thing one wants to understand."
"Certainly, and the reason is that in God there is no first principle,
and He is therefore incomprehensible."
"God be praised! that is how I would have you answer. Can God have any
self-consciousness?"
"There my learning is baffled. I know not what to reply. You should not
ask me so hard a thing as that."
"But you wished for something new. I thought the newest thing would be to
see you at a loss."
"That's prettily said. Be kind enough to reply for me, gentlemen, and
teach me what to say."
Everybody tried to answer, but nothing was said worthy of record. Hedvig
at last said,--
"My opinion is that since God knows all, He knows of His own existence,
but you must not ask me how He knows it."
"That's well said," I answered; and nobody could throw any further light
on the matter.
All the company looked on me as a polite Atheist, so superficial is the
judgment of society, but it did not matter to me whether they thought me
an Atheist or not.
M. de Ximenes asked Hedvig if matter had been created.
"I cannot recognize the word 'created,'" she replied. "Ask me whether
matter was formed, and I shall reply in the affirmative. The word
'created' cannot have existence, for the existence of anything must be
prior to the word which explains it."
"Then what meaning do you assign to the word 'created'?"
"Made out of nothing. You see the absurdity, for nothing must have first
existed. I am glad to see you laugh. Do you think that nothingness could
be created?"
"You are right."
"Not at all, not at all," said one of the guests, superciliously.
"Kindly tell me who was your teacher?" said M. de Ximenes.
"My uncle there."
"Not at all, my dear niece. I certainly never taught you what you have
been telling us to-day. But my niece, gentlemen, reads and reflects over
what she has read, perhaps with rather too much freedom, but I love her
all the same, because she always ends by acknowledging that she knows
nothing."
A lady who had not opened her lips hitherto asked Hedvig for a definition
of spirit.
"Your question is a purely philosophical one, and I must answer that I do
not know enough of spirit or matter to be able to give a satisfactory
definition."
"But since you acknowledge the existence of Deity and must therefore have
an abstract idea of spirit, you must have some notions on the subject,
and should be able to tell me how it acts on matter."
"No solid foundation can be built on abstract ideas. Hobbes calls such
ideas mere fantasms. One may have them, but if one begins to reason on
them, one is landed in contradiction. I know that God sees me, but I
should labour in vain if I endeavoured to prove it by reasoning, for
reason tells us no one can see anything without organs of sight; and God
being a pure spirit, and therefore without organs, it is scientifically
impossible that He can see us any more than we can see Him. But Moses and
several others have seen Him, and I believe it so, without attempting to
reason on it."
"You are quite right," said I, "for you would be confronted by blank
impossibility. But if you take to reading Hobbes you are in danger of
becoming an Atheist."
"I am not afraid of that. I cannot conceive the possibility of Atheism."
After dinner everybody crowded round this truly astonishing girl, so that
I had no opportunity of whispering my love. However, I went apart with
Helen, who told me that the pastor and his niece were going to sup with
her mother the following day.
"Hedvig," she added, "will stay the night and sleep with me as she always
does when she comes to supper with her uncle. It remains to be seen if
you are willing to hide in a place I will shew you at eleven o'clock
tomorrow, in order to sleep with us. Call on my mother at that hour
to-morrow, and I will find an opportunity of shewing you where it is. You
will be safe though not comfortable, and if you grow weary you can
console yourself by thinking that you are in our minds."
"Shall I have to stay there long?"
"Four hours at the most. At seven o'clock the street door is shut, and
only opened to anyone who rings."
"If I happen to cough while I am in hiding might I be heard?"
"Yes, that might happen."
"There's a great hazard. All the rest is of no consequence; but no
matter, I will risk all for the sake of so great happiness."
In the morning I paid the mother a visit, and as Helen was escorting me
out she shewed me a door between the two stairs.
"At seven o'clock," said she, "the door will be open, and when you are in
put on the bolt. Take care that no one sees you as you are entering the
house."
At a quarter to seven I was already a prisoner. I found a seat in my
cell, otherwise I should neither have been able to lie down or to stand
up. It was a regular hole, and I knew by my sense of smell that hams and
cheeses were usually kept there; but it contained none at present, for I
fell all round to see how the land lay. As I was cautiously stepping
round I felt my foot encounter some resistance, and putting down my hand
I recognized the feel of linen. It was a napkin containing two plates, a
nice roast fowl, bread, and a second napkin. Searching again I came
across a bottle and a glass. I was grateful to my charmers for having
thought of my stomach, but as I had purposely made a late and heavy meal
I determined to defer the consumption of my cold collation till a later
hour.
At nine o'clock I began, and as I had neither a knife nor a corkscrew I
was obliged to break the neck of the bottle with a brick which I was
fortunately able to detach from the mouldering floor. The wine was
delicious old Neuchatel, and the fowl was stuffed with truffles, and I
felt convinced that my two nymphs must have some rudimentary ideas on the
subject of stimulants. I should have passed the time pleasantly enough if
it had not been for the occasional visits of a rat, who nearly made me
sick with his disgusting odour. I remembered that I had been annoyed in
the same way at Cologne under somewhat similar circumstances.
At last ten o'clock struck, and I heard the pastor's voice as he came
downstairs talking; he warned the girls not to play any tricks together,
and to go to sleep quietly. That brought back to my memory M. Rose
leaving Madame Orio's house at Venice twenty-two years before; and
reflecting on my character I found myself much changed, though not more
reasonable; but if I was not so sensible to the charms of the sex, the
two beauties who were awaiting me were much superior to Madame Orio's
nieces.
In my long and profligate career in which I have turned the heads of some
hundreds of ladies, I have become familiar with all the methods of
seduction; but my guiding principle has been never to direct my attack
against novices or those whose prejudices were likely to prove an
obstacle except in the presence of another woman. I soon found out that
timidity makes a girl averse to being seduced, while in company with
another girl she is easily conquered; the weakness of the one brings on
the fall of the other. Fathers and mothers are of the contrary opinion,
but they are in the wrong. They will not trust their daughter to take a
walk or go to a ball with a young man, but if she has another girl with
her there is no difficulty made. I repeat, they are in the wrong; if the
young man has the requisite skill their daughter is a lost woman. A
feeling of false shame hinders them from making an absolute and
determined resistance, and the first step once taken the rest comes
inevitably and quickly. The girl grants some small favour, and
immediately makes her friend grant a much greater one to hide her own
blushes; and if the seducer is clever at his trade the young innocent
will soon have gone too far to be able to draw back. Besides the more
innocence a girl has, the less she knows of the methods of seduction.
Before she has had time to think, pleasure attracts her, curiosity draws
her a little farther, and opportunity does the rest.
For example, I might possibly have been able to seduce Hedvig without
Helen, but I am certain I should never have succeeded with Helen if she
had not seen her cousin take liberties with me which she no doubt thought
contrary to the feelings of modesty which a respectable young woman ought
to have.
Though I do not repent of my amorous exploits, I am far from wishing that
my example should serve for the perversion of the fair sex, who have so
many claims on my homage. I desire that what I say may be a warning to
fathers and mothers, and secure me a place in their esteem at any rate.
Soon after the pastor had gone I heard three light knocks on my prison
door. I opened it, and my hand was folded in a palm as soft as satin. All
my being was moved. It was Helen's hand, and that happy moment had
already repaid me for my long waiting.
"Follow me on tiptoe," she whispered, as soon as she had shut the door;
but in my impatience I clasped her in my arms, and made her feel the
effect which her mere presence had produced on me, while at the same time
I assured myself of her docility. "There," she said, "now come upstairs
softly after me."
I followed her as best I could in the darkness, and she took me along a
gallery into a dark room, and then into a lighted one which contained
Hedvig almost in a state of nudity. She came to me with open arms as soon
as she saw me, and, embracing me ardently, expressed her gratitude for my
long and dreary imprisonment.
"Divine Hedvig," I answered, "if I had not loved you madly I would not
have stayed a quarter of an hour in that dismal cell, but I am ready to
spend four hours there every day till I leave Geneva for your sake. But
we must not lose any time; let us go to bed."
"Do you two go to bed," said Helen; "I will sleep on the sofa."
"No, no," cried Hedvig, "don't think of it; our fate must be exactly
equal."
"Yes, darling Helen," said I, embracing her; "I love you both with equal
ardour, and these ceremonies are only wasting the time in which I ought
to be assuring you of my passion. Imitate my proceedings. I am going to
undress, and then I shall lie in the middle of the bed. Come and lie
beside me, and I'll shew you how I love you. If all is safe I will remain
with you till you send me away, but whatever you do do not put out the
light."
In the twinkling of an eye, discussing the theory of shame the while with
the theological Hedvig, I presented myself to their gaze in the costume
of Adam. Hedvig blushed and parted with the last shred of her modesty,
citing the opinion of St. Clement Alexandrinus that the seat of shame is
in the shirt. I praised the charming perfection of her shape, in the hope
of encouraging Helen, who was slowly undressing herself; but an
accusation of mock modesty from her cousin had more effect than all my
praises. At last this Venus stood before me in a state of nature,
covering her most secret parts with her hand, and hiding one breast with
the other, and appearing woefully ashamed of what she could not conceal.
Her modest confusion, this strife between departing modesty and rising
passion, enchanted me.
Hedvig was taller than Helen; her skin was whiter, and her breasts double
the size of Helen's; but in Helen there was more animation, her shape was
more gently moulded, and her breast might have been the model for the
Venus de Medicis.
She got bolder by degrees, and we spent some moments in admiring each
other, and then we went to bed. Nature spoke out loudly, and all we
wanted was to satisfy its demands. With much coolness I made a woman of
Hedvig, and when all was over she kissed me and said that the pain was
nothing in comparison with the pleasure.
The turn of Helen (who was six years younger than Hedvig) now came, but
the finest fleece that I have ever seen was not won without difficulty.
She was jealous of her cousin's success, and held it open with her two
hands; and though she had to submit to great pain before being initiated
into the amorous mysteries, her sighs were sighs of happiness, as she
responded to my ardent efforts. Her great charms and the vivacity of her
movements shortened the sacrifice, and when I left the sanctuary my two
sweethearts saw that I needed repose.
The alter was purified of the blood of the victims, and we all washed,
delighted to serve one another.
Life returned to me under their curious fingers, and the sight filled
them with joy. I told them that I wished to enjoy them every night till I
left Geneva, but they told me sadly that this was impossible.
"In five or six days time, perhaps, the opportunity may recur again, but
that will be all."
"Ask us to sup at your inn to-morrow," said Hedvig; "and maybe, chance
will favour the commission of a sweet felony."
I followed this advice.
I overwhelmed them with happiness for several hours, passing five or six
times from one to the other before I was exhausted. In the intervals,
seeing them to be docile and desirous, I made them execute Aretin's most
complicated postures, which amused them beyond words. We kissed whatever
took our fancy, and just as Hedvig applied her lips to the mouth of the
pistol, it went off and the discharge inundated her face and her bosom.
She was delighted, and watched the process to the end with all the
curiosity of a doctor. The night seemed short, though we had not lost a
moment's time, and at daybreak we had to part. I left them in bed and I
was fortunate enough to get away without being observed.
I slept till noon, and then having made my toilette I went to call on the
pastor, to whom I praised Hedvig to the skies. This was the best way to
get him to come to supper at Balances the next day.
"We shall be in the town," said I, "and can remain together as long as we
please, but do not forget to bring the amiable widow and her charming
daughter."
He promised he would bring them both.
In the evening I went to see the syndic and his three friends, who
naturally found me rather insensible to their charms. I excused myself by
saying that I had a bad headache. I told them that I had asked the young
theologian to supper, and invited the girls and the syndic to come too;
but, as I had foreseen, the latter would not hear of their going as it
would give rise to gossip.
I took care that the most exquisite wines should form an important
feature of my supper. The pastor and the widow were both sturdy drinkers,
and I did my best to please them. When I saw that they were pretty mellow
and were going over their old recollections, I made a sign to the girls,
and they immediately went out as if to go to a retiring-room. Under
pretext of shewing them the way I went out too, and took them into a room
telling them to wait for me.
I went back to the supper-room, and finding the old friends taken up with
each other and scarcely conscious of my presence, I gave them some punch,
and told them that I would keep the young ladies company; they were
looking at some pictures, I explained. I lost no time, and shewed them
some extremely interesting sights. These stolen sweets have a wonderful
charm. When we were to some extent satisfied, we went back, and I plied
the punch-ladle more and more freely. Helen praised the pictures to her
mother, and asked her to come and look at them.
"I don't care to," she replied.
"Well," said Helen, "let us go and see them again."
I thought this stratagem admissible, and going out with my two
sweethearts I worked wonders. Hedvig philosophised over pleasure, and
told me she would never have known it if I had not chanced to meet her
uncle. Helen did not speak; she was more voluptuous than her cousin, and
swelled out like a dove, and came to life only to expire a moment
afterwards. I wondered at her astonishing fecundity; while I was engaged
in one operation she passed from death to life fourteen times. It is true
that it was the sixth time with me, so I made my progress rather slower
to enjoy the pleasure she took in it.
Before we parted I agreed to call on Helen's mother every day to
ascertain the night I could spend with them before I left Geneva. We
broke up our party at two o'clock in the morning.
Three or four days after, Helen told me briefly that Hedvig was to sleep
with her that night, and that she would leave the door open at the same
time as before.
"I will be there."
"And I will be there to shut you up, but you cannot have a light as the
servant might see it."
I was exact to the time, and when ten o'clock struck they came to fetch
me in high glee.
"I forgot to tell you," said Helen, "that you would find a fowl there."
I felt hungry, and made short work of it, and then we gave ourselves up
to happiness.
I had to set out on my travels in two days. I had received a couple of
letters from M. Raiberti. In the first he told me that he had followed my
instructions as to the Corticelli, and in the second that she would
probably he paid for dancing at the carnival as first 'figurante'. I had
nothing to keep me at Geneva, and Madame d'Urfe, according to our
agreement, would be waiting for me at Lyons. I was therefore obliged to
go there. Thus the night that I was to pass with my two charmers would be
my last.
My lessons had taken effect, and I found they had become past mistresses
in the art of pleasure. But now and again joy gave place to sadness.
"We shall be wretched, sweetheart," said Hedvig, "and if you like we will
come with you."
"I promise to come and see you before two years have expired," said I;
and in fact they had not so long to wait.
We fell asleep at midnight, and waking at four renewed our sweet battles
till six o'clock. Half an hour after I left them, worn out with my
exertions, and I remained in bed all day. In the evening I went to see
the syndic and his young friends. I found Helen there, and she was
cunning enough to feign not to be more vexed at my departure than the
others, and to further the deception she allowed the syndic to kiss her.
I followed suit, and begged her to bid farewell for me to her learned
cousin and to excuse my taking leave of her in person.
The next day I set out in the early morning, and on the following day I
reached Lyons. Madame d'Urfe was not there, she had gone to an estate of
hers at Bresse. I found a letter in which she said that she would be
delighted to see me, and I waited on her without losing any time.
She greeted me with her ordinary cordiality, and I told her that I was
going to Turin to meet Frederic Gualdo, the head of the Fraternity of the
Rosy Cross, and I revealed to her by the oracle that he would come with
me to Marseilles, and that there he would complete her happiness. After
having received this oracle she would not go to Paris before she saw us.
The oracle also bade her wait for me at Lyons with young d'Aranda; who
begged me to take him with me to Turin. It may be imagined that I
succeeded in putting him off.
Madame d'Urfe had to wait a fortnight to get me fifty thousand francs
which I might require on my journey. In the course of this fortnight I
made the acquaintance of Madame Pernon, and spent a good deal of money
with her husband, a rich mercer, in refurnishing my wardrobe. Madame
Pernon was handsome and intelligent. She had a Milanese lover, named
Bono, who did business for a Swiss banker named Sacco. It was through
Madame Peron that Bono got Madame d'Urfe the fifty thousand francs I
required. She also gave me the three dresses which she had promised to
the Countess of Lascaris, but which that lady had never seen.
One of these dresses was furred, and was exquisitely beautiful. I left
Lyons equipped like a prince, and journeyed towards Turin, where I was to
meet the famous Gualdo, who was none other than Ascanio Pogomas, whom I
had summoned from Berne. I thought it would be easy to make the fellow
play the part I had destined for him, but I was cruelly deceived as the
reader will see.
I could not resist stopping at Chamberi to see my fair nun, whom I found
looking beautiful and contented. She was grieving, however, after the
young boarder, who had been taken from the convent and married.
I got to Turin at the beginning of December, and at Rivoli I found the
Corticelli, who had been warned by the Chevalier de Raiberti of my
arrival. She gave me a letter from this worthy gentleman, giving the
address of the house he had taken for me as I did not want to put up at
an inn. I immediately went to take possession of my new lodging.