him with Reason, yet in many Respects, he has been altogether as
bountiful to other Creatures of his forming. Some of the Senses of
other Animals are more acute than ours, as we find by daily
Experience. You know this little Bird, _sweet Jug, Jug, Jug_,
'tis a Nightingale. This little Creature, after she has entertained us
with her Songs all the Spring, and bred up her little ones, flies into
a foreign Country, and finds her Way over the Great Sea, without any
of the Instruments and Helps which Men are obliged to make Use of for
that Purpose. Was you as wise as the Nightingale, you might make all
the Sailors happy, and have twenty thousand Pounds for teaching them
the Longitude.
[Illustration]
You would not think _Ralph_ the Raven half so wise and so good as he
is, though you see him here reading his book. Yet when the Prophet
_Elijah_, was obliged to fly from _Ahab_ King of _Israel_, and hide
himself in a Cave, the Ravens, at the Command of God Almighty, fed him
every Day, and preserved his Life.
_And the Word of the Lord came unto _Elijah_, saying, Hide
thyself by the Brook _Cherith_, that is before _Jordan_, and
I have commanded the Ravens to feed thee there. And the Ravens brought
him Bread and Flesh in the Morning, and Bread and Flesh in the
Evening, and he drank of the Brook,_ Kings, B.I.C. 17.
And the pretty Pidgeon when the World was drowned, and he was confined
with _Noah_ in the Ark, was sent forth by him to see whether the
Waters were abated, _And he sent forth a Dove from him, to see if
the Waters were abated from off the Face of the Ground. And the Dove
came in to him in the Evening, and lo, in her Mouth was an Olive Leaf
plucked off: So_ Noah _knew that the Waters were abated from off
the Earth._ Gen. viii. 8. 11.
As these, and other Animals, are so sensible and kind to us, we ought
to be tender and good to them, and not beat them about, and kill them,
and take away their young ones, as many wicked Boys do. Does not the
Horse and the Ass carry you and your burthens; don't the Ox plough
your Ground, the Cow give you Milk, the Sheep cloath your Back, the
Dog watch your House, the Goose find you in Quills to write with, the
Hen bring Eggs for your Custards and Puddings, and the Cock call you
up in the Morning, when you are lazy, and like to hurt yourselves by
laying too long in Bed? If so, how can you be so cruel to them, and
abuse God Almighty's good Creatures? Go, naughty Boy, go; be sorry for
what you have done, and do so no more, that God Almighty may forgive
you. _Amen_, say I, again and again. God will bless you, but not
unless you are merciful and good.
The downfal of the School, was a great Misfortune to Mrs.
_Margery_; for she not only lost all her Books, but was destitute
of a Place to teach in; but Sir William _Dove_, being informed of
this, ordered the House to be built at his own Expence, and 'till that
could be done, Farmer _Grove_ was so kind, as to let her have his
large Hall to teach in.
The House built by Sir _William_, had a Statue erected over the
Door of a Boy sliding on the Ice, and under it were these Lines,
written by Mrs. _Two-Shoes_, and engraved at her Expence.
[Illustration]
On SIN. A SIMILE.
As a poor Urchin on the Ice,
When he has tumbl'd once or twice,
With cautious Step, and trembling goes,
The drop-stile Pendant on his Nose,
And trudges on to seek the Shore,
Resolv'd to trust the Ice no more:
But meeting with a daring Mate,
Who often us'd to slide and scate,
Again is into Danger led,
And falls again, and breaks his head.
So Youth when first they're drawn to sin,
And see the Danger they are in,
Would gladly quit the thorney Way,
And think it is unsafe to stay;
But meeting with their wicked Train,
Return with them to sin again:
With them the Paths of Vice explore;
With them are ruin'd ever more.
CHAP. IV.
_What happened at Farmer Grove's;
and how she gratified him for the Use
of his Room_.
While at Mr. _Grove's_, which was in the Heart of the Village,
she not only taught the Children in the Day Time, but the Farmer's
Servants, and all the Neighbours, to read and write in the Evening;
and it was a constant Practice before they went away, to make them all
go to Prayers, and sing Psalms. By this Means, the People grew
extremely regular, his Servants were always at Home, instead of being
at the Ale-house, and he had more Work done than ever. This gave not
only Mr. _Grove_, but all the Neighbours, an high Opinion of her
good Sense and prudent Behaviour: And she was so much esteemed, that
most of the Differences in the Parish were left to her Decision; and
if a Man and Wife quarrelled (which sometimes happened in that Part of
the Kingdom) both Parties certainly came to her for Advice. Every Body
knows, that _Martha Wilson_ was a passionate scolding Jade, and
that _John_ her husband, was a surly ill-tempered Fellow. These
were one Day brought by the Neighbours for _Margery_ to talk to
them, when they fairly quarrelled before her, and were going to Blows;
but she stepping between them, thus addressed the Husband;
_John_, says she, you are a Man, and ought to have more Sense
than to fly in a Passion, at every Word that is said amiss by your
Wife; and _Martha_, says she, you ought to know your Duty better,
than to say any Thing to aggravate your Husband's Resentment. These
frequent Quarrels, arise from the Indulgence of your violent Passions;
for I know, you both love one another, notwithstanding what has passed
between you. Now, pray tell me _John_, and tell me _Martha_,
when you have had a Quarrel the other Night, are you not both sorry for
it the next Day? They both declared that they were: Why then, says
she, I'll tell you how to prevent this for the future, if you will
both promise to take my Advice. They both promised her. You know, says
she, that a small Spark will set Fire to Tinder, and that Tinder
properly placed will fire a House; an angry Word is with you as that
Spark, for you are both as touchy as Tinder, and very often make your
own House too hot to hold you. To prevent this, therefore, and to live
happily for the future, you must solemnly agree, that if one speaks an
angry Word, the other will not answer, 'till he or she has distinctly
called over all the Letters in the Alphabet, and the other not reply,
'till he has told twenty; by this Means your Passions will be stifled,
and Reason will have Time to take the Rule.
This is the best Recipe that was ever given for a married Couple to
live in Peace: Though _John_ and his Wife frequently attempted to
quarrel afterwards, they never could get their Passions to any
considerable Height, for there was something so droll in thus carrying
on the Dispute, that before they got to the End of the Argument, they
saw the Absurdity of it, laughed, kissed, and were Friends.
Just as Mrs. _Margery_ had settled this Difference between
_John_ and his Wife, the Children (who had been sent out to play,
while that Business was transacting) returned some in Tears, and
others very disconsolate, for the Loss of a little Dormouse they were
very fond of, and which was just dead. Mrs. _Margery_, who had
the Art of moralizing and drawing Instructions from every Accident,
took this Opportunity of reading them a Lecture on the Uncertainty of
Life, and the Necessity of being always prepared for Death. You should
get up in the Morning, says she, and to conduct yourselves, as if that
Day was to be your last, and lie down at Night, as if you never
expected to see this World any more. This may be done, says she,
without abating of your Chearfulness, for you are not to consider
Death as an Evil, but as a Convenience, as an useful Pilot, who is to
convey you to a Place of greater Happiness: Therefore, play my dear
Children, and be merry; but be innocent and good. The good Man sets
Death at Defiance, for his Darts are only dreadful to the Wicked.
After this, she permitted the Children to bury the little Dormouse,
and desired one of them to write his Epitaph, and here it is.
_Epitaph on a_ DORMOUSE, _really
written by a little_ BOY.
I.
In Paper Case,
Hard by this Place,
Dead a poor Dormouse lies;
And soon or late,
Summon'd by Fate,
Each Prince, each Monarch dies.
II.
Ye Sons of Verse,
While I rehearse,
Attend instructive Rhyme;
No Sins had _Dor_,
To answer for,
Repent of yours in Time.
CHAP. V.
_The whole History of the Considering Cap, set forth
at large for the Benefit of all whom it may concern_.
[Illustration]
The great Reputation Mrs. _Margery_ acquired by composing
Differences in Families, and especially, between Man and Wife, induced
her to cultivate that Part of her System of Morality and Economy, in
order to render it more extensively useful. For this Purpose, she
contrived what she called a Charm for the Passions; which was a
considering Cap, almost as large as a Grenadier's, but of three equal
Sides; on the first of which was written, I MAY BE WRONG; on the
second, IT IS FIFTY TO ONE BUT YOU ARE; and on the third, I'LL
CONSIDER OF IT. The other Parts on the out-side, were filled with odd
Characters, as unintelligible as the Writings of the old
_Egyptians_; but within Side there was a Direction for its Use,
of the utmost Consequence; for it strictly enjoined the Possessor to
put on the Cap, whenever he found his Passions begin to grow
turbulent, and not to deliver a Word whilst it was on, but with great
Coolness and Moderation. As this Cap was an universal Cure for
Wrong-headedness, and prevented numberless Disputes and Quarrels, it
greatly hurt the Trade of the poor Lawyers, but was of the utmost
Service to the rest of the Community. They were bought by Husbands and
Wives, who had themselves frequent Occasion for them, and sometimes
lent them to their Children: They were also purchased in large
Quantities by Masters and Servants; by young Folks, who were intent on
Matrimony, by Judges, Jurymen, and even Physicians and Divines; nay,
if we may believe History, the Legislators of the Land did not disdain
the Use of them; and we are told, that when any important Debate
arose, _Cap, was the Word_, and each House looked like a grand
Synod of _Egyptian_ Priests. Nor was this Cap of less Use to
Partners in Trade, for with these, as well as with Husband and Wife,
if one was out of Humour, the other threw him the Cap, and he was
obliged to put it on, and keep it till all was quiet. I myself saw
thirteen Caps worn at a Time in one Family, which could not have
subsisted an Hour without them; and I was particularly pleased at Sir
_Humphry Huffum's_, to hear a little Girl, when her Father was
out of Humour, ask her Mamma, _if she should reach down the Cap_?
These Caps, indeed, were of such Utility, that People of Sense never
went without them; and it was common in the Country, when a Booby made
his Appearance, and talked Nonsense, to say, _he had no Cap in his
Pocket_.
[Illustration]
_Advice from FRIAR BACON._
What was _Fortunatus_'s Wishing Cap, when compared to this? That
Cap, is said to have conveyed People instantly from one Place to
another; but, as the Change of Place does not change the Temper and
Disposition of the Mind, little Benefit can be expected from it; nor
indeed is much to be hoped from his famous Purse: That Purse, it is
said, was never empty, and such a Purse, may be sometimes convenient;
but as Money will not purchase Peace, it is not necessary for a Man to
encumber himself with a great deal of it. Peace and Happiness depend
so much upon the State of a Man's own Mind, and upon the Use of the
considering Cap, that it is generally his own Fault, if he is
miserable. One of these Caps will last a Man his whole Life, and is a
Discovery of much greater Importance to the Public than the
Philosopher's Stone. Remember what was said by my Brazen Head, _Time
is, Time was, Time is past_: Now the _Time is_, therefore buy
the Cap immediately, and make a proper Use of it, and be happy before
the _Time is past_.
_Yours_ ROGER BACON.
CHAP. VI.
_How Mrs._ MARGERY _was taken up for a Witch,
and what happened on that Occasion._
And so it is true? And they have taken up Mrs. _Margery_ then,
and accused her of being a Witch, only because she was wiser than some
of her Neighbours! Mercy upon me! People stuff Children's Heads with
Stories of Ghosts, Fairies, Witches, and such Nonsense when they are
young, and so they continue Fools all their Days. The whole World
ought to be made acquainted with her Case, and here it is at their
Service.
_The Case of Mrs._ MARGERY.
Mrs. _Margery_, as we have frequently observed, was always doing
Good, and thought she could never sufficiently gratify those who had
done any Thing to serve her. These generous Sentiments, naturally led
her to consult the Interest of Mr. _Grove_, and the rest of her
Neighbours; and as most of their Lands were Meadow, and they depended
much on their Hay, which had been for many Years greatly damaged by
wet Weather, she contrived an Instrument to direct them when to mow
their Grass with Safety, and prevent their Hay being spoiled. They all
came to her for Advice, and by that Means got in their Hay without
Damage, while most of that in the neighbouring Villages was spoiled.
This made a great Noise in the Country, and so provoked were the
People in the other Parishes, that they accused her of being a Witch,
and sent Gasser _Goosecap_, a busy Fellow in other People's
Concerns, to find out Evidence against her. This Wiseacre happened to
come to her School, when she was walking about with the Raven on one
Shoulder, the Pidgeon on the other, the Lark on her Hand, and the Lamb
and the Dog by her Side; which indeed made a droll Figure, and so
surprized the that he cried out, a Witch! a Witch! upon this she
laughing, answered, a Conjurer! a Conjurer! and so they parted; but it
did not end thus, for a Warrant was issued out against Mrs.
_Margery_, and she was carried to a Meeting of the Justices,
whither all the Neighbours followed her.
[Illustration]
At the Meeting, one of the Justices, who knew little of Life, and less
of the Law, behaved very idly; and though no Body was able to prove
any Thing against her, asked, who she could bring to her Character?
_Who_ can you bring against my Character, Sir, says she, there
are People enough who would appear in my Defence, were it necessary;
but I never supposed that any one here could be so weak, as to believe
there was any such Thing as a Witch. If I am a Witch, this is my
Charm, and (laying a Barometer or Weather Glass on the Table) it is
with this, says she, that I have taught my Neighbours to know the
State of the Weather. All the Company laughed, and Sir _William
Dove_, who was on the Bench, asked her Accusers, how they could be
such Fools, as to think there was any such Thing as a Witch. It is
true, continued he, many innocent and worthy People have been abused
and even murdered on this absurd and foolish Supposition; which is a
Scandal to our Religion, to our Laws, to our Nation, and to common
Sense; but I will tell you a Story.
There was in the West of _England_ a poor industrious Woman, who
laboured under the same evil Report, which this good Woman is accused
of. Every Hog that died with the Murrain, every Cow that slipt her
Calf, she was accountable for: If a Horse had the Staggers, she was
supposed to be in his Head; and whenever the Wind blew a little harder
than ordinary, _Goody Giles_ was playing her Tricks, and riding
upon a Broomstick in the Air. These, and a thousand other Phantasies,
too ridiculous to recite, possessed the Pates of the common People:
Horse-shoes were nailed with the Heels upwards, and many Tricks made
use of, to mortify the poor Creature; and such was their Rage against
her, that they petitioned Mr. _Williams_, the Parson of the
Parish, not to let her come to Church; and at last, even insisted upon
it: But this he over-ruled, and allowed the poor old Woman a Nook in
one of the Isles to herself, where she muttered over her Prayers in
the best Manner she could. The Parish, thus disconcerted and enraged,
withdrew the small Pittance they allowed for her Support, and would
have reduced her to the Necessity of starving, had she not been still
assisted by the benevolent Mr. _Williams_.
But I hasten to the Sequel of my Story, in which you will find, that
the true Source from whence Witchcraft springs is _Poverty_,
_Age_, and _Ignorance_; and that it is impossible for a
Woman to pass for a Witch, unless she is _very poor_, _very
old_, and lives in a Neighbourhood where the People are _void of
common Sense_.
Some Time after, a Brother of her's died in _London_, who, though he
would not part with a Farthing while he lived, at his Death was
obliged to leave her five thousand Pounds, that he could not carry
with him.--This altered the Face of _Jane_'s Affairs prodigiously:
She was no longer _Jane_, alias _Joan Giles_, the ugly old Witch, but
Madam _Giles_; her old ragged Garb was exchanged for one that was new
and genteel; her greatest Enemies made their Court to her, even the
Justice himself came to wish her Joy; and though several Hogs and
Horses died, and the Wind frequently blew afterwards, yet Madam
_Giles_ was never supposed to have a Hand in it; and from hence it is
plain, as I observed before, that a Woman must be _very poor, very
old_, and live in a Neighbourhood, where the People are _very stupid_,
before she can possibly pass for a Witch.
'Twas a Saying of Mr. _Williams_, who would sometimes be jocose,
and had the Art of making even Satire agreeable; that if ever
_Jane_ deserved the Character of a Witch, it was after this Money
was left her; for that with her five thousand Pounds, she did more
Acts of Charity and friendly Offices, than all the People of Fortune
within fifty Miles of the Place.
After this, Sir _William_ inveighed against the absurd and
foolish Notions, which the Country People had imbibed concerning
Witches, and Witchcraft, and having proved that there was no such
Thing, but that all were the Effects of Folly and Ignorance, he gave
the Court such an Account of Mrs. _Margery_, and her Virtue, good
Sense, and prudent Behaviour, that the Gentlemen present were
enamoured with her, and returned her public Thanks for the great
Service she had done the Country. One Gentleman in particular, I mean
Sir _Charles Jones_, had conceived such an high Opinion of her,
that he offered her a considerable Sum to take the Care of his Family,
and the Education of his Daughter, which, however, she refused; but
this Gentleman, sending for her afterwards when he had a dangerous Fit
of Illness, she went, and behaved so prudently in the Family, and so
tenderly to him and his Daughter, that he would not permit her to
leave his House, but soon after made her Proposals of Marriage. She
was truly sensible of the Honour he intended her, but, though poor,
she would not consent to be made a Lady, till he had effectually
provided for his Daughter; for she told him, that Power was a
dangerous Thing to be trusted with, and that a good Man or Woman would
never throw themselves into the Road of Temptation.
[Illustration]
All Things being settled, and the Day fixed, the Neighbours came in
Crouds to see the Wedding; for they were all glad, that one who had
been such a good little Girl, and was become such a virtuous and good
Woman, was going to be made a Lady; but just as the Clergyman had
opened his Book, a Gentleman richly dressed ran into the Church, and
cry'd, Stop! stop! This greatly alarmed the Congregation, particularly
the intended Bride and Bridegroom, whom he first accosted, and desired
to speak with them apart. After they had been talking some little
Time, the People were greatly surprized to see Sir _Charles_
stand Motionless, and his Bride cry, and faint away in the Stranger's
Arms. This seeming Grief, however, was only a Prelude to a Flood of
Joy, which immediately succeeded; for you must know, gentle Reader,
that this Gentleman, so richly dressed and bedizened with Lace, was
that identical little Boy, whom you before saw in the Sailor's Habit;
in short, it was little _Tom Two Shoes_, Mrs. _Margery's_
Brother, who was just come from beyond Sea, where he had made a large
Fortune, and hearing, as soon as he landed, of his Sister's intended
Wedding, had rode Post, to see that a proper Settlement was made on
her; which he thought she was now intitled to, as he himself was both
able and willing to give her an ample Fortune. They soon returned to
the Communion-Table, and were married in Tears, but they were Tears of
Joy.
There is something wonderful in this young Gentleman's Preservation
and Success in Life; which we shall acquaint the Reader of, in the
History of his Life and Adventures, which will soon be published.
CHAP. VII. and Last.
_The true Use of Riches._
The Harmony and Affection that subsisted between this happy Couple, is
inexpressible; but Time, which dissolves the closest Union, after six
Years, severed Sir _Charles_ from his Lady; for being seized with
a violent Fever he died, and left her full of Grief, tho' possessed of
a large Fortune.
We forgot to remark, that after her Marriage, _Lady Jones_ (for
so we must now call her) ordered the Chappel to be fitted up, and
allowed the Chaplain a considerable Sum out of her own private Purse,
to visit the Sick, and say Prayers every Day to all the People that
could attend. She also gave Mr. _Johnson_ ten Guineas a Year, to
preach a Sermon, annually, on the Necessity and Duties of the marriage
State, and on the Decease of Sir _Charles_; she gave him ten
more, to preach yearly on the Subject of Death; she had put all the
Parish into Mourning for the Loss of her Husband; and to those Men who
attended this yearly Service, she gave Harvest Gloves, to their Wives
Shoes and Stockings, and to all the Children little Books and
Plumb-cakes: We must also observe, that she herself wove a Chaplet of
Flowers, and before the Service, placed it on his Grave-stone; and a
suitable Psalm was always sung by the Congregation.
About this Time, she heard that Mr. _Smith_ was oppressed by Sir
Timothy Gripe_, the Justice, and his Friend _Graspall_, who
endeavoured to deprive him of Part of his Tythes; upon which she, in
Conjunction with her Brother, defended him, and the Cause was tried in
_Westminster-hall_, where Mr. _Smith_ gained a Verdict; and
it appearing that Sir _Timothy_ had behaved most scandalously, as
a Justice of the Peace, he was struck off the List, and no longer
permitted to act in that Capacity. This was a Cut to a Man of his
imperious Disposition, and this was followed by one yet more severe;
for a Relation of his, who had an undoubted Right to the
_Mouldwell_ Estate, finding that it was possible to get the
better at Law of a rich Man, laid Claim to it, brought his Action, and
recovered the whole Manor of _Mouldwell_, and being afterwards
inclined to sell it, he, in Consideration of the Aid Lady
_Margery_ had lent him during his Distress, made her the first
Offer, and she purchased the Whole, and threw it into different Farms,
that the Poor might be no longer under the Dominion of two over-grown
Men.
This was a great Mortification to Sir _Timothy_, as well as to
his Friend _Graspall_, who from this Time experienced nothing but
Misfortunes, and was in a few Years so dispossessed of his Ill-gotten
Wealth, that his Family were reduced to seek Subsistance from the
Parish, at which those who had felt the Weight of his Iron Hand
rejoiced; but Lady _Margery_ desired, that his Children might be
treated with Care and Tenderness; _for they_, says she, _are no
Ways accountable for the Actions of their Father_.