CHAPTER XV

LORD-LIEUTENANTS AND CHIEF SECRETARIES

Any Irishman who has reached the shady side of threescore years and ten

must remember many Lord-Lieutenants--the pompously visible symbols of

much vacillating misdirection.

To analyse them would be the work of an historian, to criticise would be

superfluous. They have been so many Malvolios, all alike anxious to win

the favour of that capricious Lady Olivia Erin, and not one of them has

succeeded, though several have merited better fortune than they met with

on Irish soil.

The first Lord-Lieutenant I personally met was Lord Carlisle.

He was a gentleman, but not otherwise remarkable. He had come into the

Government on the resignation of the Peelites, and his popularity in

Ireland was greater than any other holder of the post in the century,

possibly owing to his negative qualities, and also to a charm of manner

more effusive than usual among Englishmen.

He had a habit of dropping his state, and going about Dublin, if not

like Haroun Alraschid, at least with the independence of men in less

august positions.

On one occasion, needing some local information, he went to see the Lord

Mayor of Dublin, but finding him out, was given the address of an

alderman who could tell him what he wanted to know.

The alderman was not in either, but his wife was, and begged him to stop

to lunch, which was just being served.

Lord Carlisle told her he hardly ever ate lunch, and was not in the

least hungry.

But under pressure he sat down to the meal, and got on very well with

it, whereat the lady remarked:--

'You see, your Excellency, eating is like scratching: when you once

begin it is hard to stop.'

His predecessor, Lord Clarendon, had been in office when Lord John

Russell, the Prime Minister, urged on the House of Commons a bill for

the abolition of the Lord-Lieutenancy. The great point that he made was

that the Chief Secretary might become a mayor of the viceregal palace, a

thing that has now long been the case, for the Lord-Lieutenant has to be

a plutocrat of high descent, and the Chief Secretary is the virtual

administrator of Ireland--a thing unknown, however, until the advent of

Mr. Foster. The second reading was carried by a majority of over a

hundred and fifty, but it was then dropped.

The story went that the Duke of Wellington had suggested to Prince

Albert the possible diminution of respect for the Crown in Ireland

without a visible representative, and the Teutonic mind could not endure

such a notion.

Lord Clarendon upheld the dignity of his position, though he was liked

by neither party in Ireland. He is the only Lord-Lieutenant who ever

administered sharp discipline to the Orangemen--who regard their loyalty

as permitting them a good deal of licence--for he removed the name of

their leader, Lord Roden, from the Commission of the Peace because he

encouraged a turbulent procession at Dolly's Brae. With his pompous

manner he made a very Brummagem monarch, quite indifferent to his

unpopularity. As a matter of fact, some allege that all Lord-Lieutenants

are hated by the disloyal section of the populace, and if they go

through the farce of currying popularity, they can only do so by largely

patronising about a dozen shopkeepers, who eventually curse because yet

more has not been spent. But this is altogether too limited to be true.

Lord Kimberley followed Lord Carlisle. In those days he was Lord

Wodehouse, and the Fenians used to issue mock proclamations, in ridicule

of his, signed 'Woodlouse.' He was an experienced parliamentarian--a man

who held office for many years, and worked conscientiously, according to

his lights.

In Ireland he always appeared to be a naturalist, perplexed at not

understanding the species among which his lot was for the time cast.

His mother was subsequently married to Mr. Crosbie Moore, and she ran

away with Colonel Fitz-Gibbon, afterwards Lord Clare.

Mr. Crosbie Moore had not much sense of humour, as the following tale

will show.

He was presiding at Ballyporeen Petty Sessions, when a village tailor

was summoned for having his pig wandering on the road.

The fellow pleaded that it was due to great curiosity on the part of the

pig, who saw some constabulary passing by, and rushed out to see what

they were like.

He made this explanation in such humorous fashion that most of the

magistrates were for letting him off; but Mr. Crosbie Moore said it was

scandalous that they had directed the police to summon people on that

very ground, and they wanted to acquit the culprit because he had made a

joke.

The rest of the Bench had to acquiesce, and the tailor was fined one

shilling.

He paid his shilling, and said:--

'I have no blame to you at all, gentlemen, except to Mr. Crosbie Moore;

and, indeed, if he reflected, he should have known that no live man

could keep a woman or a pig in the house when she wanted to be off.'

A subscription raised for him outside the Court realised twenty-three

shillings.

Tradition goes that when Lord Kimberley, Lord Carlingford, and Lord

Granville were all in Mr. Gladstone's Cabinet, Mr. Chamberlain--then at

the Board of Trade--in a moment of vexation called them 'Gladstone's

grannies,' and if the phrase is not his, it most certainly was apt and

truthful.

Lord Kimberley was known as 'Pussy' among a gang of disrespectful

subordinates. He really did as little to earn respect as he did to

forfeit it; in fact he was a pre-eminently respectable mediocrity of the

kind that, towards the close of the mid-Victorian period, clung like

barnacles to office, and he was a Whig during the period that Whiggism

was growing obsolete.

The Duke of Abercorn certainly had no tendencies towards the lavish

extravagance by which a modern Lord-Lieutenant has to pay his footing. A

short time before he was chosen he had claimed the Dukedom of

Chatelherault in France, and was known in consequence among the

malcontents as the 'French Frog.' His wife was the daughter of one Duke

of Bedford, and when another came to stay at the viceregal, it was for a

time called the 'Dukeries.' The A.D.C.'s, who were particularly

good-looking, were at once known as the 'Duckeries.'

The Duke of Marlborough settled down well to his work. He was frankly

the friend of the landlords, and did his best for them. But he brought

no English politicians in his train; he never thought he could settle

every Irish question after he had smoked a pipe over it; and he was

never inaccessible.

He came on a visit to Muckross when Sir Ivor Guest had the shooting, and

I dined there to meet him. He visited Killarney on several occasions,

and on each of them I had long talks with him. I always thought him a

painstaking, well-meaning man.

Lord Cowper was an honest nonentity who left the country in disgust

because he was not backed up by the Government. Several modern

figureheads would be very much surprised at any Government expecting

them to do more than 'understudy Royalty.' But Cowper thought himself a

diplomatist; was fond of authoritatively laying down the law on

continental affairs, as though he had the refusal of the Foreign Office

in his pocket; and felt he ought to have as much support as Palmerston

obtained from the various Cabinets he burdened with European embroglios.

However, Lord Spencer, on being reappointed for a second term, took up

the thankless task at an especially black moment. He was as brave as a

lion; and if his red beard gained him the nickname of 'Rufus,' the Red

Viceroy was as fearless as though his life were absolutely secure,

instead of depending wholly on the vigilance of those surrounding him.

We all admired Lord Spencer for his firmness; but this was soon

discovered to be due to the fact that he absolutely followed the sage

advice of Sir Edward Sullivan, the Lord Chancellor, and after the death

of the latter, Lord Spencer's weakness was quite as remarkable as his

previous firmness.

He was seen on one occasion with his hands pressing his back.

Said one man:--

'I fear his Excellency has lumbago.'

'Not at all,' replied his friend; 'he is feeling for his backbone.'

The state of Westmeath was really the worst feature of the period of his

rule, yet Lord Spenser was in the country all the while, and allowed

matters to degenerate with his eyes open.

He rode hard to hounds, in spite of countless threats, and might have

had a less uncomfortable time had the head of the Constabulary been as

thoroughly capable as his subordinates.

Lord Carnarvon very nearly ruined the Government by his communications

with Mr. Parnell. He meant well, and struck out a patriotic line of his

own, which failed because it was made in absolute ignorance of the Irish

character. But he never intended to involve his colleagues, although

numbers of people chose to regard him as a Tory Home Ruler. His previous

action in resigning the Secretaryship of the Colonies in Lord Derby's

third administration, owing to a difference of opinion on parliamentary

reform, and his subsequent resignation because he disapproved of Lord

Beaconsfield's Eastern action in 1878, showed him to be a man of marked

and fearless opinions. Lord Salisbury ought to have known that he was

thrusting a brand into the fire when he sent him to be the official

bellows-blower of the Hibernian pot.

Lord Aberdeen will always be remembered as the husband of his wife. Lady

Aberdeen was a more ardent Home Ruler than even her brother, Lord

Tweedmouth. On one occasion Lord Morris was next her at dinner, and she

said she supposed the majority of people in Ireland were in favour of

Home Rule.

'Indeed, then, with the exception of yourself and the waiters, there's

not one in the room,' was his answer.

'Of course, not in the Castle,' she replied with dignity; 'but in your

profession, and when you are on circuit, surely you must meet a good

many?'

'Occasionally--in the dock,' he drily retorted, after which she

discreetly dropped the subject.

Lord Aberdeen was most exemplary during his brief tenure of office, and

certainly it was not in his time that the folk christened the royal box

at the theatre the 'loose box,' in allusion to the rather dubious

English guests of the vivacious viceroy.

Lord Londonderry and Lord Zetland may be both briefly bracketed together

as having done their duty admirably in times less out of joint than

those of their predecessors. Lord Londonderry always drank Irish whisky

himself, and recommended it to his guests as a capital beverage--a thing

which the licensed victuallers did not mind mentioning to Paddy and Mick

when they were having a drop, despite their vaunted contempt of all at

'the Castle.'

No other Lord-Lieutenant ever had such a mournful experience as Lord

Houghton. Son of Monckton Milnes, the 'cool of the evening,' he needed

his father's temperament to enable him to endure the boycott which Irish

society inflicted on him as the representative of the Home Rule

disruption policy. With no class did he go down, and on a crowded

market-day in Tralee not a hat was raised to him.

One of his A.D.C.'s was subsequently on the veldt, and when asked if it

was not lonely, he replied:--

'Not more than Dublin Castle, when Houghton was the king.'

On one occasion some people were officially commanded to dine. Not a

carriage was to be seen as they drove up to the Viceregal Lodge, so the

gentleman told his coachman to drive round the Phoenix Park, as they

must be too early. There was still no sign of any gathering as they

again approached the official residence, and when they entered they

found they were the only guests, and the infuriated Lord Houghton, as

well as all his household had been kept waiting twenty minutes by this

hapless pair.

Another story, which was much enjoyed in Ireland as showing the

pomposity of his Excellency, may be recalled. Whether true it is now

difficult to say, but there is no doubt that the tale was started among

the very house-party who were at Carton at the time.

The beautiful _châtelaine_, the lovely Duchess of Leinster, was walking

through the fields one Sunday afternoon with Lord Houghton.

They came to a gate, which he opened, but to her astonishment proceeded

to walk through it first himself.

The indignant Duchess haughtily remarked:--

'The Prince of Wales would not think of passing through a gate before

me.'

'That may be; but I represent the Queen,' replied Lord Houghton, with

unruffled imperturbability.

Lord Cadogan and Lord Dudley come so absolutely into contemporary

history that on them nothing can here be said, except that their

munificence has rendered it impossible for any peer of moderate private

means to hold the office.

In sober truth, however, the administration of Government really rests

with the Chief Secretary in recent times, although it was not so before

the advent of Mr. Foster. Men like Lord Naas, Sir Robert Peel the

younger, and Mr. Chichester Fortescue--afterwards Lord Carlingford--were

mere official cyphers, but after Mr. Gladstone's 1880 ministry this has

never been the case.

Of Sir Robert Peel it was wittily said that when Chief Secretary he went

through the country on an outside car, which made him take a one-sided

view of the Irish question.

Lord Morris said to an inquiring Scottish M.P.:--

'Did you ever know a Scottish Secretary who was not Scottish, or an

Irish Secretary who was Irish?'

'No,' said the Scotsman.

'Well, go home and moralise over that as a possible solution of some

Irish difficulties, for may be, if an Irishman was sent over, by

accident, to be Chief Secretary, the official would not fall into the

mistake of trying to reconcile the irerconcilable.'

And to my mind Lord Morris had the last word in every sense.

Mr. W.E. Forster was far too honest to be the tool of Mr. Gladstone's

Hibernian dishonesty. He was perfectly fearless, but, beneath his rugged

exterior, deeply sensitive. He winced under 'buckshot,' and many other

epithets; but abuse and danger alike never prevented him from doing what

he had to do to the best of his ability. His earliest acquaintance with

Ireland had been in the famine, when he was one of the deputation of

succour organised by the Society of Friends, and everybody who has read

Mr. Morley's _Life of Cobden_ will remember the appreciation of their

efforts by the great free-trader.

Mr. Forster did not think the Irish administration should be all 'a

scuffle and a scramble,' and he inaugurated a reversal of the old

balance between Lord-Lieutenants and Chief Secretaries which has never

been subsequently changed. Indeed, it is often only the latter who has a

seat in the Cabinet. He was the victim of many misapprehensions--the

bulk of them wilful--but one which worried him was a widespread

conviction that he was a slow man. His delivery was slow, his manner

deliberate, and he did not lightly give an opinion. Yet emphatically he

was not a slow man, and as an instance may be stated the fact that he

elaborated his scheme of decentralising the powers of the Irish

Government in a single evening in December 1881. I know he was harassed,

nay, martyrised, beyond endurance, through the evasive volubility of Mr.

Gladstone, which, both by mouth and letter, formed a heavier burden than

all the Irish attacks; but he was a just and conscientious man, and I

never heard of a case where appeal was made to him on which he did not

act as reasonably as was compatible with loyalty to such a Prime

Minister.

His courage in walking unarmed and without police escort in Tulla and

Athenry was as great as ever was displayed by a knight-errant of old.

The Nationalist papers, no longer able to taunt him with cowardice, took

to declaring him to be a person notorious for ferocious brutality.

Sir Wemyss Reid said that in the House of Commons his fellow-members had

literally seen his hair whiten during those two years of patriotic

martyrdom in Ireland, and I always feel that the inner life of this

reticent, commanding statesman would have made a wonderful human

document. His capacity, if not his forbearance, has been inherited by

his adopted son, Mr. Arnold Forster, the present Secretary for War, who

acted as his private secretary in the latter years of his life.

When I read Lord Rosebery's speech advocating a Cabinet of business men,

I instinctively thought of the late Mr. W.E. Forster, and it is his heir

who is the first illustration of the Liberal Peer's theory. Since

Cromwell cleared out the House of Commons, no one has done so much as

Mr. Arnold Forster, for he upset the seats of the mighty in the War

Office three months after he kissed hands. I wonder how he would have

dealt with Parnellism and crime.

Mr. Forster's predecessor, Mr. James Lowther, was an uncommonly capable

man, and gifted with a fund of humour which prevented him from taking

the Irish too seriously. In 1879 I heard the Irish members in the House

of Commons vituperating him after a manner that subsequently became

unpleasantly familiar, but was then regarded as a gross breach of the

conventions of debate. 'Jim' lay back on the Treasury bench with his hat

over his eyes, and to all appearance sound asleep. Never once did he

show sign of hearing their verbal tornado; but eventually he sprang to

his feet, and with infectious gaiety literally chaffed them to madness.

I have often thought that the long-limbed Tory member for Hertford, who

was then private secretary to his uncle, Lord Salisbury, must have taken

note of the methods of Mr. Lowther in dealing with the Irish party, for

it was absolutely on the same lines that he subsequently developed that

superb flow of sarcasm which made him, Mr. A.J. Balfour, the popular

idol ten years later.

It has been a practice for many years to appoint a man Chief Secretary

for Ireland in order to see if he is fit for anything else. This plan

turned out well in the case of Mr. A.J. Balfour, for he knew Ireland

better than any other Chief Secretary, and when he came to know it

properly he was removed.

His brother did as much harm in Ireland as Mr. Arthur Balfour did good.

Indeed, in the whole nineteenth century no other incompetent Chief

Secretary misunderstood Ireland with such complete complacency, and if

it had not been for the supervision which 'A.J.' undoubtedly gave, Mr.

Gerald Balfour would have a still worse record.

There was a poem, not particularly brilliant, which may be quoted

because it is not widely known:--

'If I had a Balfour who wrong would go,

Do you think I'd tolerate him?--No, no, no!

I'd give him coercion in Kilmainham jail,

And return him to Arthur, who'd laugh at his wail.'

In fact the impression prevailed that Ireland was then sacrificed to the

nepotism of Lord Salisbury, who had inflicted the least capable of the

House of Cecil on the distressful country.

When the Duke of York was in Ireland, he stayed with Lord Dunraven, and

Mr. Gerald Balfour as Chief Secretary was one of the house-party, and

the mother of the Knight of Glin was also there.

A short time before, a chemist from Cork, who had been appointed

sub-confiscator, and desired to secure his own position, had heavily cut

down the Fitzgerald rents.

Mr. Balfour, by way of making polite conversation, observed to Mrs.

Fitzgerald:--

'I believe your son's property has been a long time in the family.'

'Yes,' she said, 'we got it in the reign of Edward I., and held it until

last year, when the Government sent an apothecary from Cork to rob us of

it.'

The conversation dropped.

Mr. Arthur Balfour was very plucky, not only personally, but in his

legislative efforts, and he did wonders for Ireland--the light railways

relieving numbers from starvation, and opening up the country.

An English journalist went down to the West, and tried to make inquiries

about the popularity of the Chief Secretary.

He came to the cabin of a man who had been rescued from starvation by

getting Government employment, and had thrived so well that he had

become possessed of a pig.

This pig, on the appearance of the Englishman, escaped into a

potato-field, and he heard the woman of the house shout to her son:--

'Mickey, look sharp and turn out Arthur Balfour before he does any

mischief.'

The name of the pig showed the gratitude of the family.

When alluding to Mr. Lowther I omitted to mention that he was always of

opinion that a well-planned scheme of education was the best panacea for

the Irish troubles, and it certainly would have brought up a generation

less keenly sensitive to the exaggerated wrongs of the country to which

both sexes are so frantically attached. During his not very lengthy

tenure of the office of Chief Secretary it was asserted that Sir George

Trevelyan also had some such idea; but whether he went so far as to

draft his plan, and it was consigned to some forgotten pigeon-hole by

Mr. Gladstone, I cannot say.

When the Duke of Argyll described Sir George Trevelyan as a jelly-fish,

he made a comparison which, from my personal experience, I should call

particularly apt.

Ireland had very little use for such a flabby politician, and it may be

added, he had very little use for Ireland.

He was in such a devil of a fright at being forced to succeed poor Lord

Frederick Cavendish that it was some time before the pressure put upon

him sufficed to make him accept office, nor would he be induced to go

over to Dublin Castle at all until he had been given Cabinet rank. As

for the Cabinet, they were so anxious to settle upon a living target for

the Home Rulers to practise upon, and so afraid that through his default

one of themselves might have to undertake the unpleasant office, that

they would have given the prospective victim almost anything he liked,

on the principle of letting the condemned criminal choose what he

prefers for his final meal before that brief interview with the hangman.

Directly after the formation of the following Radical Government, I met

an Englishman of considerable political importance in Pall Mall, and he

observed:--

'The new Cabinet is quarrelling among themselves.'

'Who are fighting?' I asked.

'Chamberlain and Trevelyan,' he replied.

'What about?'

'Chamberlain says that he brought the party back into office, and he

wants the Colonial Office; but Gladstone insists on his being content

with the Local Government Board. Trevelyan says that, as he has for

years had experience in naval affairs, he ought to be made First Lord.

But Gladstone, though he cannot prevail on him to be Chief Secretary,

has sent him to the India Office.'

'And may give him free lodgings in Kilmainham if he is refractory,' I

chimed in. 'And so these two are like pigs with their bristles hurt,

poor things. There's a pity.'

Some time later, when I heard Messrs. Chamberlain and Trevelyan were so

disgusted with the Home Rule Bill that they were leaving the Government,

says I to myself, 'I wonder if Mr. Gladstone in his own heart thinks if

he had gratified their wishes about office he could have retained them.'

But as a matter of fact both are patriots far above such demeaning

insinuations.

Mr. John Morley was a very well-meaning Chief Secretary, but a very

misguided man.

In a conversation with me, Mr. Morley observed that, owing to the

agitation, he saw no alternative but to make Parnell Chief Secretary.

I said that would be no use, for if he attempted to do his duty he would

be shot, even more readily than I should.

Mr. Morley retorted:--

'He is the leader of the Irish nation.'

'I admit it,' I replied, 'and he is the only man you can make terms

with.'

'How?' says he.

'You had better ask him,' says I, 'to nominate some foreign potentate to

appoint commissioners who will say to Mr. Parnell, "Let Ireland pay her

share of the national debt and buy out every loyal person who wishes to

leave the country," and then, if Mr. Parnell says, "We are not able to

do that," let them retort, "We will then disfranchise you, for this

humbug has been going on long enough."'

'That's about it, according to your lights,' replied Mr. Morley.

Was I not right?

It is a singular fact that Ulster and Alsace-Lorraine have about the

same acreage--5,322,334 to 3,586,560--and about the same

population--1,581,357 to 1,719,470. The French and Germans are each

willing to spend a hundred millions of money and half a million lives,

the one to recover, the other to retain, the province, and yet Mr.

Gladstone proposed, not only to abandon Ulster, but to put it under the

rule of the people the Ulsterites hate most on earth.

It is also remarkable that at the time of the Union the population of

Belfast was 35,000, and Dublin 250,000. Now Belfast is 335,000, while

Dublin remains at a quarter of a million. Belfast, in point of customs,

is the third largest city in the British dominions, coming next after

London and Liverpool, whilst it is the finest shipbuilding town in the

world.

Yet its inhabitants were to be sold as though they were African slaves,

for the sole purpose of getting votes for the Liberal Government.

I was one day invited by Froude to come to his home to argue out the

Irish question with Mr. Jacob Bright and Mr. John Morley.

I counted on having Mr. Froude on my side, knowing his strong views, but

as host he would not interfere. However, Miss Cobbe was there, and to my

mind was equal to any of the company. With her on my side, I flatter

myself we were too many for the others; but the worst of all arguments

is that the arguing rarely serves any purpose except to make either

party more obstinate.

I knew John Bright very well.

He was far and away the most honest man of all the Liberal party, and he

fully realised the fact that a visible concentration of property and

universal suffrage could not exist together. He was therefore anxious to

enlarge the number of proprietors, but he did not countenance it being

done entirely at the expense of the English Government without the

tenants having to find such a sum of money out of their own pockets as

would give them an interest in paying off the Government charges.

He was a very broad-minded man, with a simplicity of character which was

admirable. I liked him much, and my one complaint against him was that

he would never accept my invitations to come and pay me a visit in

Kerry.

I never heard him make a speech, but with his beautiful voice it was a

great treat to hear him read Milton. On one occasion he took me to the

House specially to see Mr. Gladstone, but after nearly an hour he had

reluctantly to tell me that the Prime Minister could not find leisure

for our conversation that day owing to pressure of business, and another

opportunity never came.

Although I regret not having met Mr. Gladstone, I yet feel glad that I

never shook him by the hand. I may here mention that I never met Mr.

Parnell, though I have seen him in the House.

From my point of view Mr. John Morley has a dual existence. As man and

as historian he is Jekyl, but as politician he is Hyde.

There is a well-known story about him, so familiar to some of us that it

is possibly forgotten in England, wherefore I venture to relate it once

more.

He was on a car, and asked the driver:--

'Well, Pat, you'll be having great times when you get Home Rule?'

'We will, your honour--for a week,' replied the man.

'Why only a week?' inquired the politician.

'Driving the quality to the steamers.'

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