DEATH IS DAWN.
"In the pettiest character there are unfathomable depths."
"Only one Judge is just, for only one
Knoweth the hearts of men."
Sayeth the book: "There passeth no man's soul
Except by God's permission, and the speech
Writ in the scroll determining the whole,
The times of all men, and the times for each."
--KORAN, 3d CHAP.
The Lanhearnes by an old-fashioned standard were a very wealthy
family. They were also a large family, though the sons had been
scattered by their business exigencies and the eldest daughters by
marriage. Only Ada, the youngest child of the house, remained with her
father; for the mother had been dead many years, and the preservation
of the idea of home was felt by all the Lanhearne children to be in
Ada's hands. If she married and went away, who then would keep open
the dear old house and give a bright welcome to their yearly visits?
Ada, however, was not inclined to marriage. She was a grave, quiet
woman of twenty-two years of age, whose instincts were decidedly
spiritual and whose hopes and pleasures had little to do with this
world. She was interested in all church duties and in all charitable
enterprises. Mission schools and chapels filled her heart, and she
paid out of her private purse a good-hearted little missionary to find
out for her cases of deserving poverty which it was her delight to
relieve.
Roland had never before come in contact with such a woman, and at a
distance he gave her a kind of adoration. Young, beautiful, rich, and
yet keeping herself unspotted from the world or going into it only to
relieve suffering, to dry the tears of childhood, and strengthen the
failing hearts of unhappy women. Once while walking with Mr. Lanhearne
the old gentleman said: "This is Ada's church. As the door is open let
us enter and wait for prayers." So out of the rush and crush of
Broadway the old and the young man turned into the peace of the
temple. And as they entered Ada rose up from before the altar, and
with a pale, rapt face glided into the solitude of her own pew.
Neither spoke of the circumstance, but on Roland's mind it made a deep
impression. At that hour he realised how beautiful a thing is true
religion and how holy a thing is a woman pure of heart, calmly radiant
from the very presence of God.
In spite of the unhappy memories of the past, in spite of the worrying
thoughts which would intrude concerning Denasia, he was not at this
time very happy. Certainly not happy enough to contemplate a long
continuance of the life he was leading, but well satisfied to pass the
winter in its refined and easy seclusion. He knew that Elizabeth would
be in London until June, and he resolved to remain in New York until
she left for Switzerland. He would then join her at Paris and spend
the summer and autumn in her company; beyond that he did not much
trouble himself.
He had, indeed, a vague dream of then quietly visiting Denasia and
determining whether it would be worth while to educate her for grand
opera. For the idea had taken such deep root in his mind that he could
not teach himself to regard the future without it, and now that
Elizabeth had full control of her riches, he did not contemplate any
difficulty about money matters. He still believed in Denasia's voice,
and he had seen that her dramatic talents were above the average; so
even in the charmed atmosphere of the Lanhearne home, he could still
think with pleasure of being the husband of a famous prima donna.
He was sure that Denasia had returned to St. Penfer. He knew that ever
since they came to America she had written at intervals to her
parents, and though it was indeed a labour of love for either John or
Joan to write a letter, Denasia had had several communications from
them. Evidently, then, she had been forgiven, and he had no doubt that
for the sake of her child she hurried homeward as soon as it was
possible for her to secure a passage.
Still he allowed three weeks to pass ere he made any inquiries. During
those three weeks his own life had settled into very easy and pleasant
ways. He breakfasted alone or with Mr. Lanhearne. Then he read the
morning papers aloud and attended to the mail. If the weather were
favourable, this duty was followed by a stroll or drive in the park.
Afterward he was very much at leisure until dinner-time, and at nine
o'clock Mr. Lanhearne's retirement to his own room gave him those
evening hours which most young men consider the desirable ones. Roland
generally went to some theatre or musical entertainment. There was
always the vague expectation of seeing and hearing Denasia, and he
scarcely knew whether his disappointment was a pleasure or an
annoyance.
At the end of the third week he ventured to the Second Avenue house.
The room they had occupied was dark. He watched it until midnight. If
Denasia had been singing anywhere, she would certainly have returned
to her child before that hour. The next night he sent a messenger to
inquire for her address, and the boy said, "It was not known. Mrs.
Tresham had left two weeks before. She had spoken of England, but it
was not positively known that she had gone there."
"She is likely in St. Penfer by this time," mentally commented Roland,
and the thought gave him comfort. He did want Denasia and the baby to
be taken care of, and he knew they would want no necessary thing in
John Penelles' cottage. But it was this very certainty of Denasia's
return to England which really detained Roland in America. He had no
desire to meet John Penelles until time had healed the wound he had
given John's daughter. John would be sure to seek him out in London,
and there might be no end of trouble; but John would not come to
America, nor would he be likely in the summer season to leave the
fishing and seek him either in Paris or Switzerland. As for Elizabeth,
she knew from her brother's letters that he had deceived and left his
wife, and she had, of course, thought it proper to offer a feeble
remonstrance, but Roland knew right well she would never betray his
hiding-place.
So Roland lived on week after week in luxurious thoughtlessness. Mr.
Lanhearne grew very fond of him, and Ada, in spite of her numerous
objects of charitable interest, found it singularly pleasant to
discuss with so handsome and intelligent a companion religious topics
on which their opinions were widely apart. Indeed, she honestly
accepted the evident duty of leading him back to the safe and narrow
road of creditable dogmas. And with such a fair, earnest teacher it
was easy, it was natural for Roland to affect an interest in the
subject he did not really feel.
Dangerous ground for both, but especially so for the lovely young
woman whose sincerity and singleness of purpose led her to believe
that a very natural and womanly instinct was the prompting of a
spiritual concern for an immortal soul wandering from the right path.
Roland as a hypocrite, affecting a piety he despised, would not have
been either so captivating or so dangerous as Roland honestly ignorant
and doubtful, yet willing to be taught and convinced.
Dangerous ground for both, for both constantly assured themselves
there was no danger. Ada Lanhearne was not a woman that any man could
approach with laughter or half-concealed flirtation. And Roland had
no desire to overstep the boundary her noble presence inspired. Also,
Denasia held him by the mysterious strength of the marriage tie. Apart
from her and relieved of the petty cares which degraded their love, he
forgot her shortcomings and thought more and more frequently of her
affectionate, forgiving heart. The radiance of her youthful beauty was
still in his memory, and the haunting charm of her voice called him at
all kinds of incongruous hours. He awoke at night with the silvery cry
of "Caller Herrin'" in his ears. At the dinner-table he heard her
light musical laugh ring through the decorous, quiet room, and often
when discussing an old Roman coin with Mr. Lanhearne he felt her hand
upon his shoulder, and feared to turn lest her face should confront
him.
Ada's beaming eyes, and soft voice, and mystical rapture of holy
enthusiasm touched him on quite a different side of his nature. She
made him long to be good--he was almost afraid he would become good if
he dwelt too much in her presence. And he did not desire to be so--not
just yet. But as she talked so earnestly to him of righteousness, and
duty and the life to come, it was impossible that he should not in
some way respond. And when his handsome eyes were shadowed with
feeling and his gay face and manner subdued to the gravity of the
subject, it was equally impossible for the young teacher not to be
moved by the evidences of her own eloquent persuasion.
After all, much must be left to the imagination; the situation was so
full of possibilities, so absolutely free of all wrong conditions, so
ready to yield itself to many wrong conditions. Roland's days went by
in a placid sameness, which did not become fretting, because he knew
he should end its pleasant monotony of his own free will in a very few
weeks. And Ada had never before been so happy. Why should she ask
herself the reason? To question fate is not a fortunate thing, at any
rate; she felt a reluctance to begin a catechism with her feelings or
her surroundings.
So the Christmas came and went, and the days lengthened and the cold
strengthened, and there was so much misery among the poor that Ada's
time and money were taxed to their uttermost use and ability. And the
suffering she saw left its shadow on her fair face. She was quieter
because her thoughts were deep in her heart and did not therefore
readily resolve themselves into words. The mystery of the whole
creation suffering together oppressed and solemnized her life, for it
was no hearsay of cold, and hunger, and wretchedness that touched Ada.
She sat down on the cold hearths with broken-hearted wives and
mothers, and held upon her knees the little children ready to perish.
Money she gave to the uttermost, but with the money something
infinitely more precious--love, like that which made the Christ put
His hand upon the leper as well as heal him; womanly sympathy, which
listened patiently to tales of intolerable wrongs and to the moans of
extreme physical suffering.
In her own home she seldom spoke of these experiences. Mr. Lanhearne
did not altogether approve of them. Like the centurion of old, he
thought it was sufficient to "speak the word only," that is, to give
the money necessary to relieve suffering. And he did not see why his
child's life should be shadowed by carrying the griefs of others. So
there was very seldom any talk on these matters, unless Ada required
assistance. Then she spoke with such clear sincerity and pathos that
her father felt it to be a privilege to be her right hand, and for the
time being was probably as enthusiastic as herself. But these were
rare occasions; Ada was too wise and considerate to stretch a generous
or a gentle emotion until it failed.
One bitterly cold night in February Roland returned to Lanhearne House
in a particularly unhappy mood. He had been down-town as far as
Twenty-third Street, and had been subjected to all the depressing
influences of the cold, brown-stony city, swept by that most cruel of
winds--the east wind which comes with a thaw. The sullen poor,
standing desperate and scornful at the street corners, seemed to cast
a malevolent eye upon his handsome, well-clothed person. There had
been a terrible accident, followed by a fire, somewhere in the city,
and the raw, cutting air was full of its horror. As he passed a group
of men, a poor shivering creature said passionately, "Accident indeed!
All accidents are crimes!" The friction of the interests and wills
encompassing him evolved an atmosphere which he had no strength to
antagonise. He simply submitted to its worry and restlessness and
unhappy discontent, and so carried the spirit home with him.
It was met on the threshold by influences that drove it back into the
desolate street. The warm, light house and the peace and luxury of his
own room soothed his mental sense of something wrong. And when he
descended to the parlour, he was instantly encompassed by soft warmth,
by firelight and gaslight, by all the visible signs and audible sounds
of sincere pleasure in his advent. Mr. Lanhearne had a new periodical
to discuss, and Ada, though unusually grave, lifted her still face
with the smile of welcome on it.
She had, however, an evident anxiety, and Mr. Lanhearne probably
divined its origin, for after dinner was over he said: "Ada, I saw
your little missionary here, late. Is there anything very wrong?"
"I was just going to tell you, father. Mr. Tresham may listen also, it
can do him no harm. Mrs. Dodge came to tell me of a most distressing
case. She was visiting an old patient in a large tenement, and the
woman told her to call at the room directly above her. As she went
away she did so. It was only four o'clock then, but in that place
quite dark. When she reached the door she heard a voice praying--heard
a voice thanking God amid sobs and tears--oh, father, what for? For
the death of her baby! Crying out in a passion of gratitude because it
was released from hunger and cold and suffering!"
Mr. Lanhearne covered his face, and Roland looked at Ada with his
large eyes troubled and misty. The girl was speechless for a moment or
two, and Roland watched her sympathetic face and saw tears drop upon
her clasped hands. Then she resumed: "Mrs. Dodge entered softly. The
mother was sitting on a chair with her dead baby across her knees.
There was no fire, no candle in the room, but the light from an
oil-lamp in a near window fell upon the white faces of the mother and
her dead child. There is no need to tell you that Mrs. Dodge quickly
made a fire, cooked the poor famished creature a meal, and then
prepared the dead child for its burial. But she says the mother is
distracted because she cannot buy it a grave and a coffin. I have
promised to do that; you will help me, father? I know you will."
"To be sure I will, Ada. To be sure, my dear one! I will help gladly.
Has the poor, sorrowful woman no husband to comfort her in this
extremity?"
"She says he is dead. Her history is a little out of the common. She
is an English woman and was a public singer. The name she is known by
is Mademoiselle Denasia--but that, of course, is not her real name."
A quick, sharp cry broke from Roland's lips. He was grey as
ashes. He trembled visibly and stood up, though his emotion
compelled him instantly to reseat himself. He was on the point of
losing consciousness. Mr. Lanhearne and Ada looked at him with
anxiety, and Mr. Lanhearne went to his side.
"I am better," he said with a heavy sigh. "I knew--I knew this poor
woman! I told you I was once on the road with a company. She was in
it. Her husband was a brute--a mean, selfish, cowardly brute--he ought
to be dead. I should like to help her--to see her--what is the street?
the number? Excuse me--I was shocked!"
"I see, Mr. Tresham," answered Ada, kindly. She had some ivory tablets
by her side, and she looked at them and said, "It is a very long
way--One Hundred and Seventieth Street--here is the address. I shall
be glad if you can do anything to help. I am sure she is worthy--she
has had good parents and been taught to pray."
"My dear Ada," said Mr. Lanhearne, "sorrow forces men and women down
upon their knees; even dumb beasts in their extremity cry unto God,
and He heareth them. And as for being worthy of help--if worthiness
were the condition, which of us durst pray for consolation in the hour
of our trouble? God has a nobler scale. He sends his rain upon the
just and the unjust, and He never yet asked a suppliant, 'Whose son
art thou?'"
Roland was grateful for this little discussion. It gave him a minute
or two in which to summon his soul to face the position. He was able
when Mr. Lanhearne ceased speaking to say:
"Mademoiselle Denasia is a Cornish woman. She comes from a village not
far from where my father lived. I feel that I ought to stand by her in
her sorrow. I shall be glad to do anything Miss Lanhearne thinks it
right to do."
The subject was then dropped, but Roland could take up no other
subject. With all his faults, he was still a creature full of warm
human impulses. There was nothing of the cold, calculating villain
about him. He was really shocked at the turn events had taken. Mr.
Lanhearne, who knew the world of men which Ada did not know, mentally
accused his handsome, sympathetic secretary of some knowledge of the
unfortunate singer which it would be best not to investigate; but Ada
thought his emotion to be entirely the outcome of an unusually tender
and affectionate nature.
The incident affected the evening unhappily. Roland was not able
either to talk or read, and Mr. Lanhearne, out of pure sympathy for
the miserable young man, retired to his own apartment very early. This
was always the signal for Roland's dismissal, and five minutes after
it Mr. Lanhearne, looking from his window into the bleak, wind-swept
street, saw Roland rapidly descend the steps and then turn northward.
"I was sure of it," he whispered. "There is more in this affair than
meets the ear, but I like the young man, and why should I rake among
the ashes of the past? Which of us would care for an investigation of
that kind?" Then he sat down before his fire and mentally followed
Roland to the bare loneliness of that poor home where death and the
mother sat together.
For once Roland feared to call, "Denasia!" He hesitated at the foot of
the narrow stair and then went softly to the door. All within was
still as the grave, but a glimmer of pale light came from under the
ill-fitting door. He might be mistaken in the room, but he resolved
to try. He turned the handle and there was an instant movement. He
went forward and Denasia stood erect, facing him. She made no sound or
sign of either anger, or astonishment, or affection. All her being was
concentrated on the clay-cold image of humanity lying so strangely
still that it filled the whole place with its majesty of silence.
He closed the door softly and said "Denasia! Oh, Denasia!"
She did not answer him, but sinking on her knees by the child, began
to sob with a passionate grief that shook her frail form as a tree is
shaken by a tempest.
"My dearest! My wife! Forgive me! Forgive me! I thought you were in
St. Penfer. As God lives, I believed you were with your mother. I
intended to come to you, I did, indeed! Denasia, speak to me. I will
never leave you again--never! We will go back to England together. I
will make you a home there. I will love and cherish you for ever!
Forgive me, dear! I am sorry! I am ashamed of myself! I hate myself! I
do not wonder you hate me also."
"No, no! I do not hate you, Roland. I am lost in sorrow. I cannot
either love or hate."
"Let me bear the sorrow with you, coward, villain that I am!"
"You did not mean to be either. You were tired of misery--men do tire.
I would have tired, too, only for my baby. Oh, Roland! Roland! Roland!
my love, my husband!"
Then--ah, then. No one can put into mere common words the great
mystery of forgiveness. It is not in words. Heart beat against heart,
eyes gazed into eyes, souls met upon clinging lips, and the sweet
compact of married love was renewed in the clasping of their
long-parted hands. They sat down together and spoke in soft, sad
voices of the great mistakes of the past. Until the midnight hour they
wept and talked together, and then Denasia said:
"In a short time a poor woman who is nursing at the Gilsey House
will be here. She is on duty until twelve o'clock, but as soon as
she is released she promised to come and sit with me. So you must
leave me now, Roland. It is useless to explain to my neighbours our
relationship. They would look at you and me and think evilly. I would
not blame them if they did. When all is over I will come to you;
until then I will remain alone. It is best so."
Nevertheless Roland lingered and pleaded, and when he finally
consented to her wish, he left all the money he had in her hands. She
looked at the bills with a sad despair. "All these!" she whispered,
"all these for a grave and a coffin! There was nothing at all to help
him to live."
"Nothing could have saved him, Denasia. He was born under sentence of
death. He has been ill all his poor little life. My darling, believe
that it is well with him now."
Yet her words and tears troubled him, and he bade her good-night, and
then returned so often that the woman Denasia had spoken of passed
him in the narrow entry, and he paused and watched her go to his
wife's room. Even then he did not hurry to his own home. He went down
the side street, and stood looking at the glimmering lamp in the
sorrowful place of death until he became painfully aware of the
terribly damp, cold wind searching out and chilling life, even to the
very marrow of the bones. Then he remembered that he had come out in
his dress boots, consequently his feet were wet and numb, and he had a
fierce pain under his shoulder. A sudden, uncontrollable fear went to
his heart like a death-doom.
He had to walk a long way before he found any vehicle, and when, after
what seemed a never-ending period of torture, he reached his room, he
knew that he was seriously ill. But the house had settled for the
night; he had a reluctance to awaken the servants; he hoped the warmth
would give him ease; he was, in fact, quite unacquainted with the
terrible malady which had seized him. In the morning he did not
appear, and after a short delay Mr. Lanhearne sent him a message.
Roland was, however, by this time in high fever and delirious. The
news caused a momentary hesitation and then a positive decision. The
hesitation was a natural one--"Should not the young man be sent to the
hospital?" The decision came from the cultivated humanity of a good
heart--"No. Roland was 'the stranger within the gates,' he was a
countryman, he was more than that, he was a Cornishman." In a few
moments Mr. Lanhearne had sent for his own physician and a trained
nurse, and he went himself to the side of the sick man until help
arrived.
Toward night Roland became very restless, and with a distressing
effort constantly murmured the word "Denasia." Mr. Lanhearne thought
he understood the position exactly, and he had a very pardonable
hesitation in granting the half-made request. But the monotonous
imploring became full of anguish, and he finally took his daughter
into his councils and asked what ought to be done.
"Denasia ought to be here," answered Ada. "I have her address. Let
Davis go for her."
"But, my dear! you do not understand that she may--that she is,
perhaps, not what we should call a good woman."
"Dear father, who among us all is good? Even Christ said, 'Why callest
thou Me good? There is none good save one, that is God.' We know
nothing wrong of her with certainty. Why not give her the benefit of
the doubt? Are we not compelled to be thus generous with all our
acquaintances?"
So Denasia was sent for. She was sitting alone in her comfortless
room. The baby was gone away for ever. Thinking of the lonely darkness
of the cemetery, with the cold earth piled high above the little
coffin, she felt a kind of satisfaction in her own shivering solitude
and silence. She was as far as possible keeping with the little form a
dreary companionship. Yet she had been expecting Roland and was
greatly pained at his apparent neglect.
When Davis knocked at the door she said drearily, "Come in." She
thought it was her husband at last.
"Are you Mademoiselle Denasia?" inquired a strange voice.
A quick sense of trouble came to her; she stood up and answered
"Yes."
"There is a gentleman at our house, Mr. Tresham; he is very ill
indeed. He asks for you constantly. Mr. Lanhearne thinks you ought to
come to him at once."
"I am ready."
She spoke with a dreary patience and instantly put on her cloak and
hat. Not another word was said. She asked no questions. She had
reached that point where women arrest all their feelings and wait. The
splendid house, the light, the warmth, all the evidences of a
luxurious life about, moved her no more than if she was in a dream. A
great sorrow had put her far above these things. She followed the
servant who met her at the door without conscious volition. A woman
going to execution could hardly have felt more indifference to the
mere accidentals of the way of sorrow. And when a door was swung
softly open, she saw no one in the room but Roland. Roland helpless,
unconscious. Roland even then crying out "Denasia! Denasia!"
The physician, Mr. Lanhearne, and his daughter stood by the fireside,
and when Denasia entered Ada went rapidly to her side.
"We are glad you have come," she said kindly. "You see how ill Mr.
Tresham is. You are his countrywoman--his friend, I think?"
"I--am--his--wife."
She said the words with a pathetic pride, and Ada wondered why they
hurt her so terribly. Like four swords they pierced her heart and cut
away from it hope and happiness. She went back to her father's side,
and leaned her head on his shoulder, and felt like one holding despair
at bay. And oh, how grateful to her was the secret silence of the
night! Then she wept as a little child weeps who has lost its way. By
her anguish and her sense of loss for ever she was taught that Roland
had become nearer and dearer than she had ever suspected. And the
knowledge was a revelation of sorrow. Her delicate conscience shivered
in the shadow of a possible wrong and the bitterness of the
might-have-been she was to fight without ceasing.
She felt no anger toward Denasia, however. Denasia was only the hidden
rock on which her frail, unknown love-bark had struck and gone down.
And she was constrained to admit that, so far as she herself was
concerned, Roland was innocent. She had, indeed, often felt hurt at
his restraint and want of response. In her pure, simple heart she had
called it pride, shyness, indifference; but she understood now that
this poor, weak soul had at least not lacked honour.
So that there was in this apparently peaceful, comfortable home two
vital conflicts going on: the struggle of a noble soul to slay love,
the struggle of unpitying death to slay life. About the ninth day
Roland, though weak, had some favourable symptoms, and there were good
hopes of his recovery. He talked with Denasia at intervals, and
assured of her forgiveness and love, slept peacefully with his hand in
his wife's hand.
A few days later, however, he appeared to be much depressed. His dark,
sunken eyes gazed wistfully at Mr. Lanhearne, and he asked to be alone
with him for a little while. "I am going to die," he said, with a face
full of vague, melancholy fear. The look was so childlike, so like
that of an infant soul afraid of some perilous path, that Mr.
Lanhearne could not avoid weeping, though he answered:
"No, my dear Roland. The doctor says that the worst is over."
Roland smiled with pleasure at the fatherly dropping of the formal
"Mr.," but he reiterated the assertion with a more decided manner. "I
am going to die. Will you see that my wife goes back to England to her
father and mother?"
"I will. Is there anything else?"
"No. She knows all that is to be done. Comfort her a little when I am
dead."
"My dear Roland, we are going to Florida as soon as you are able."
"I am going to a country much farther off. I will tell you how I know.
All my life long a figure formless, veiled, and like a shadow has come
to me at any crisis. When I was striving for honours at my college it
whispered, 'you will not succeed.' When I went to my first business
desk it brought me the same message. The night before I sailed for
America it stood at my bedside, and I heard the one word, 'failure.'
This afternoon it told me, 'you have come to the end of your life.'
Then my soul said, 'Oh, my enemy, who art thou?' And there grew out of
the dimness the likeness of a face."
For a few moments there was a silence painful and profound. Roland
closed his eyes, and from under their lids stole two large tears--the
last he would ever shed. And Mr. Lanhearne was so awed and troubled he
could scarcely say:
"A face! Whose face, then, Roland?"
"My own! My own!" and he spoke with that patience of accepted doom
which, while it carries the warrant of death, has also death's
resignation and dignity.
After this revelation there was a decided relapse, and after a few
more days of suffering, of hope, and despair had passed, the end came
peacefully from utter exhaustion. Mr. Lanhearne was present, but it
was into Denasia's eyes that Roland gazed until this sad earth was
lost to vision, and the dark, tearless orbs, once so full of light and
love, were fixed and dull for evermore.
"It is all past! It is all over!" cried Denasia, "all over, all over!
Oh, Roland! Roland! My dear, dear love!" and Mr. Lanhearne led her
fainting with sorrow from the place of death.
And in another room, in a little sanctuary of holy dreams and loving
purposes, Ada knelt in a transport of divine supplication, praying for
the dying, praying for the living, consecrating her own wounded heart
to the service of all women wearing for any reason the crown of
sorrow, or drinking of the cup of Gethsemane, or treading alone the
painful road which leads from Calvary to paradise. For herself asking
only with a sublime submission--
"Nearer, my God, to Thee;
E'en though it be a cross
That raiseth me!"