People give you surprises, or think they do. For mostly you can tell
pretty well by keeping an eye on the parcels and things as they come in.
Or one of the servants tells you, or you hear the Grown-ups whispering
when they think you are not attending. Attending! Why, you are always
attending. How could you learn else? _They_ did just the same
themselves, only they forget.
Of all presents, I hate most "useful" ones--"to teach you how to keep
your things tidy," and what "you will be sure to need by and by, you
know, dear!"
For when the time comes you've had it so long that you don't care a
button about it. I suppose there are some Miss Polly Prinks who like
things to put on. But I haven't got to _that_ yet. Nor yet money that
you are told you mustn't spend. There ought to be a "Misfit Presents'
Emporium," where you could take all the presents you don't care about
and get them exchanged for what you do.
"Please, sir, can I have a nice lot of the newest books with the
prettiest pictures for four Jack-in-the-boxes, eight dolls (three
dressed), a windmill and a Noah's Ark, that only wants Noah and one of
his son's wives' legs?"
"Let me see them, miss, please!"
"Can I look at the books on that shelf?"
"Oh, these are the adventure books for Grown-ups," says the man;
"children don't read such thing now-a-days--something in the
picture-book way, Miss--_Little Sambo and the Seven Pious Pigs_, or _How
many Blue Beans make Five?_"
But _I_ would know ever so much better, and would have down half-a-dozen
Grown-up books that just make your eyes stand out of your head like
currants in a ginger-bread bunny. That's what _I_ like. No children's
books for me. And I'd have them all chosen as soon as the Presents'
Exchange man had made sure that none of the paws were knocked off the
green kangaroo, and that the elephant still owned a trunk.
It is a good idea, isn't it? What do you think? About the Exchange, I
mean.
Once my Uncle Tom got a birthday present from Aunt Margaret. It was a
set of fire-irons for the drawing-room grate! And when her birthday came
round Uncle Tom chose for her present--_a pipe-rack for the
smoking-room_!