JACK. This _is_ a nice muddle! What asses we’ve been!
STELLA. Yes, haven’t we?
JACK. By Jove! we have.
(_AUTOMATON comes in D. in F., followed by MRS. ANDERSON with a
telegram--they both go quickly into drawing-room R._)
MRS. ANDERSON (_calling as she goes_). Telegrapheram, Mr. Everest, sir!
STELLA (_down L. with JACK points up to them as they go out_). Jack!
look!
(_Piano is smashed off R._)
Oh, what’s that?
JACK. That’s the piano! (_Glass is smashed off R._) That’s the three
gold-fish in the bowl!
(_WALTER with poker enters L._)
MRS. ANDERSON (_off_). Oh, help! (_She rushes in from R. in a fainting
condition and gasps._) Mr. Everest have fell out of the window into the
street!
WALTER. Mrs. Anderson, I am here.
(_She gives a loud yell of fright in his face and rushes into bedroom
L. STELLA hastens after her._)
WALTER. There’s going to be no mistake this time, I’m going after it
myself. (_Exit D. in F._)
(_JOBBINS enters D. in F., his hat bashed, a black eye, and one arm
in a sling. He is in a miserable condition._)
JACK. Great goodness! Jobbins!
JOBBINS. What’s left of him, sir!
AUTOMATON (_off at back_). Yow-yow.
JOBBINS (_on his knees clings to JACK_). I calls on you to protect me!
JACK. We must search this house from top to toe. You chase up, I’ll
chase down. And if we don’t find him, meet here.
JOBBINS. I’ll do that (_they go up_), meet here!
(_Exeunt._)
STELLA (_looks in L._). Jack, she’s getting better--Jack! where are
you? (_Goes in again._)
(_JOBBINS enters D. in F., comes down, saying:_)
JOBBINS. Missed him! (_Sits L. of R. table_). I’ll just make out my
little bill.
(_As he is doing this, AUTOMATON enters D. in F., comes down and has
a spasm with his hands, knocking off JOBBINS’ hat. JOBBINS with a
loud yell rushes out D. in F. AUTOMATON knocks furniture about, etc.,
and goes into china cupboard. (He may throw a chair out of window
first.) STELLA comes in L. to see his final exit. She then goes up,
looks into china cupboard after him--then comes downstage, calling in
fright:_)
STELLA. Help! Help! Help!
(_JACK and JOBBINS bring WALTER on between them D. in F., and bring
him down C., and MRS. ANDERSON enters L._)
WALTER. Let me go, let me go, I say!
STELLA. Jack, you’ve got the wrong man!
(_They release him._)
MRS. ANDERSON. There’s a telegrapheram, sir; is it for you or your twin?
JACK (_snatches it and reads_). From Mrs. Everest--“Potterfield fell
out of his dogcart and broke his leg. The wedding is postponed.”
STELLA. Postponed!
JACK. Congratulate you, old chap (_shaking hands_). Your fortune’s safe.
(_Noise off and lights down as:_)
WALTER. Hush, hush! all of you. It’s coming out to die!
(_STELLA hides on floor front of sofa L. MRS. ANDERSON hides on
knees front of table R. JOBBINS stands by clock against wall up L.
JACK sets cupboard door open with chair against it and then goes and
stands in recess to R., side of same, and WALTER goes off to hide
behind the curtain of recess L., side where there is a secret exit,
so that he at once comes on as AUTOMATON from the china cupboard._)
(_A man’s hand holds out the curtain behind which WALTER is supposed
to be hiding. Dying scene for AUTOMATON. Jerky business, frightens
JOBBINS who crouches back from it, then goes C., stoops and grows
faint, has a spasm of strength and hurries to table R., frightening
MRS. ANDERSON, who gets under table. It then leans dying against
table, then has a fresh spasm, hurrying across to STELLA, who lies
away from it on floor to avoid it._)
(_Then up to cupboard door, which JACK set open with a chair.
AUTOMATON dies with back to inside of door, pushing the chair clear
of it in his spasm, business, finally shutting himself in as he
collapses by letting the door close after him._)
(_Red limes changing to green through above, and dark floats._)
(_Lights up--all rise._)