_On table R. a newspaper and two unopened letters._
_The table up in the alcove is set for luncheon._
_WALTER’S brown bowler is lying on chair or sofa L._
_The cupboard door has a spring so that it closes of itself when left
open, a string being also tacked across the inside of the door so
that WALTER can pull the door to after him at end of play. A large
bamboo rocking-chair is used for the figure, and is easily moved and
turned as directed._
(_Enter JACK and MRS. ANDERSON D. in F._)
MRS. ANDERSON. It’s as I thought, sir, the pore young gent isn’t up.
JACK (_looks at his watch_). Was he late last night?
MRS. ANDERSON. Oh, yes, sir, as I happens to know being woked up
sudden, thinkering to hear a burgular, which was only Master Walter
Everest, the gent I does for, a-creepering and a-crawlering upstairs.
JACK. Is he often like that? (_Takes up and looks at letters on table
and puts them down again._)
MRS. ANDERSON. Lawk a floury! no, sir, only breaks out occasional when
his work’s bad. Mr. Everest is a chemist and electerician.
JACK. Been working hard lately?
MRS. ANDERSON. I believes as he have something very musterious and
secret inventering at this here identical period of time, some mustery
as he keeps in that there cupboard which the door is always locked
constant. Oh, very musterious--and queer smells a-penetratering and
perfuncteroring the house. Oh, here he are, sir.
(_WALTER’S door L. opens. She exits D. in F._)
(_WALTER stumbles in L. He is not to look dissipated, but to act it._)
WALTER. Hullo, hullo! whose head is this? It isn’t mine, it can’t be
mine. Stop! (_Sits top of R. table._) Stop! (_Picks up newspaper._)
Morning paper, who wants morning paper? (_Throws it on floor behind
him, and JACK, who is watching him, picks it up. WALTER opens letter._)
Letters, who wants letters?--oh, one from my tailor, “We greatly regret
delay in delivery of your new black coat. We will despatch it to
reach your residence without fail to-day. May we remind you that your
account----?” No, you may _not_ remind me.
(_JACK gives him a rousing smack on the back._)
Hullo, Jack, where did you spring from?